Chapter 7 Chapter Six

Three years of waiting, the so-called revival of old love is so unbearable, even if we are careful, the fragmented past is still between us like sharp glass shards. I fled back to Star City!When Geng Mochi accompanied his mother to the hospital to see a doctor, I took advantage of the unexpected and escaped from the small building, took a taxi and went straight to the airport, and bought a plane ticket to Xingcheng with the little money I had.As soon as I got back to the home where I had been away for several months, my highly nervous mood finally broke down. I held Milan and cried, and wiped her expensive Ports dress with snot and tears.

"Look at what you are like now, whether you are human or ghost." Milan didn't sympathize with me at all, and shook his head, "I don't even know what to say about you, Bai Kaoer!" When I heard this, I cried even more sadly. Thinking about the chaos and impermanence of these years, I couldn't tell the past and couldn't see the future. I really hated myself for making myself so depressed and gloomy for a Geng Mochi. "Why are you crying? Do you think you are miserable in the whole world? Yingzhi is more miserable than you!" Milan's temper became very bad for some reason.

I immediately stopped crying, "What happened to Sakura?" "divorced!" I gasped, "What... when did it happen?" "Just the day before yesterday." "I was fine before I left, how can I just leave?" "What's good? It's not like you don't know that Zhang Qianshan has been dating that woman for a long time." "That Sakura is now..." "Move back to my mother's house." "What about Dandan?" "It was awarded to Zhang Qianshan." "How can that be?" I exclaimed, "Dandan is Sakura's lifeblood."

"Then what can I do? Yingzhi's unit was bought out a few years ago, and he has no ability to support him. Of course, the child can only be awarded to Zhang Qianshan." Milan was indignant and sad, "The house and most of the deposits were also given to him. He, Yingzhi lost everything overnight." She raised her eyes to look at me and said mockingly, "Do you still think you are miserable now?" I ran back before the training was over, and I explained to the station that I was not feeling well and had to come back to see a doctor.In fact, I'm not lying, I did feel unwell, nauseous all day long, and lethargic.At first I thought I was catching a cold, so I went to the hospital to make an appointment. When I saw the test report, my eyes were darkened.

I didn't know how I got home that day. I wanted to cry but couldn't cry. My stomach was empty, but I couldn't eat anything.The wind was howling outside, I stayed at home and didn't dare to go out, but at this time I received a call from my mother, saying that she would come to Xingcheng to see me.My mother lived in Star City for three days, and I knew she came to see me (I dare not go back to see her), no matter how hard she asked, I just refused to admit it, and when I finally sent her back, she was at the train station. Still asking: "Are you with that man surnamed Geng again?"

"What's the matter, I broke up with him for two years, and it's not like you don't know." "You're fooling me again! Look at you now, if you hadn't fooled around with him, how could you have done this?" Mother knew it well. "Mom, I... really didn't..." "You still want to lie to me, you've been vomiting these days." "I have a cold stomach." Mother stopped talking and looked at me steadily.The wind on the platform was very strong, and the white-haired mother looked at me so helplessly, and the sadness of hating iron and steel made her dark yellow face look older.

Mother didn't say a word, turned around and got into the car without even turning her head.The train slowly passed in front of me, and I ran to search for my mother's sad face in the window, but I couldn't see it—she was avoiding me, and I broke her heart!In the end, I had no choice but to stand alone in the cold wind on the platform, covering my face and crying bitterly.At that moment, I never felt that I owed my parents so much, never felt it! "Your uterine wall is already very thin, and you have had another operation. If you do it again, it may be difficult to conceive again in the future, and even if you do, you will not be able to keep it." This was the advice the doctor gave me that day.

Mom, how can I tell you this? !I can't open my mouth!That's why I dare not go home. I know that as soon as I get home, you will know everything.I don't want you to worry about me anymore, because you have been worrying about me for half your life.But now you still know, my poor mother, after giving birth to such an unfilial daughter, you must be in despair, even I am in despair, what reason is there for others to give me hope? When I walked out of the station, there were sporadic snowflakes in the sky. This should be the first snow this winter.The iconic old clock at Xingcheng Railway Station Square rang dully against the gray sky. I looked up at the sky, my mind was blank, and the whole world was also chaotic and pale. The biting cold wind was blowing snowflakes so that I couldn’t tell the direction ahead. .In fact, when did I see the direction of my life clearly? I never looked at the direction when I walked, and I didn’t learn my lesson when I fell down.

In the evening, I unexpectedly received a call from Jinyi, "Kaoer, why did you suddenly return to Star City? What happened?" "It's okay, it's the end of the year, and the work unit is very busy, so I'll be back first." I didn't mention Geng Mochi at all.Jinyi must know everything, or she called Geng Mochi specifically to test it out, so I was very guarded during the conversation, Jinyi would not fail to hear, told me to pay more attention to my body and hung up the phone.But after a while, Jin Yi sent another text message: "I'm sorry, it was Mochi who asked me to call to check on your situation. He said he was sorry and hoped you take care."

I guess that's it.I hesitated for a long time, and finally replied a text message: Jinyi, please tell him, I don't want to see him again in this life, and I don't want to hear any news about him.Thanks! ... I don't dare to tell Milan about this, if I let her know, I don't know what kind of scolding I will be.I braced myself to go to work as usual, but it was obvious that I couldn't concentrate and I kept making mistakes when I was doing the show.Fortunately, Lao Cui didn't blame me for anything, he just asked me to pay more attention to my health, and if I couldn't hold on anymore, I should go home and rest for a while before returning to work.But I dare not go home. When Milan goes to work during the day, being alone in an empty house makes me feel unreasonable fear. I am very afraid that I will go crazy.At night, I couldn't sleep all night, and the insomnia was more severe this time, even more serious than in Shanghai. In addition to the strong pregnancy reaction, my complexion was sallow and I lost weight rapidly.No wonder my mother sensed that I was lying.

Milan is a smart person, and she quickly noticed what happened, so I had to prevaricate to her that I had a stomach problem recently and felt very uncomfortable.Milan was dubious, but didn't investigate further. She is very busy now, excited all day long, and has no time to take care of my impending collapse.I don't know what she's up to, but it's certainly not work. My guess is correct, she is still conquering Qi Shuli's castle, and she has the momentum of not giving up until she achieves her goal.But it seems that there is not much progress. Although she has a clear picture of Qi Shuli's family background, this Mr. Qi still didn't give her any chance. I feel that he didn't explicitly reject her because of my face. It's awkward being caught in the middle. When I got home from get off work that day, she and I were sitting on the sofa watching TV, and she suddenly asked, "You said, Qi Shuli is difficult to deal with, right?" Staring blankly at the screen, his expression seemed a little frustrated, "I greeted him, but he seemed to be indifferent." "I told you not to take it too seriously." I poured cold water on her. I have poured cold water on Milan more than once. Although I introduced Qi Shuli to her, I only said that I was an "introduction" at the time, and did not indicate that I wanted her to develop a relationship with him. Moreover, she should know that Qi Shuli What kind of woman can't get her strength?Will he fall in love with a little reporter who is pretty but only a little bit pretty?I've seen several of Qi Shuli's female subordinates, each one more noble and elegant than the other... To be honest, I'm really sweating for Milan. But Milan is not reconciled. Although she doesn't say anything, I can see that she is fighting fiercely in her heart. To her, whether to give up or continue is just a matter of thought, just like heaven and hell, often only one step away. The phone rang, and it was Qi Shuli who called, saying that he was going back to the United States recently, and wanted to meet me before leaving, "I really want to see that lake, can you go with me?" He asked very Be careful, lest I get hurt.This made it impossible for me to say no (he always does, cutting off the way for you to say no before you send an invitation), so I had to say yes. "I'll pick you up and go with me tomorrow." He was a little unexpectedly happy. I quickly declined, "No, I'll just go by myself." "What did he ask you for?" Milan knew that Qi Shu's courteous invitation to me was a little displeased. "He said he wanted to see the lake and asked me to go with him." "If you want to see it, why don't you go see it yourself?" Milan's face was very gloomy. "What do you mean?" I also lowered my face. "It's nothing interesting," Milan turned his face away, and said slyly, "You just have to be careful, this guy is very powerful, don't be caught by others and you won't be able to get rid of him even if you try, he's not as easy to deal with as Geng Mochi. " "It seems that he knows better than you whether he will deal with me well or not. I should remind you of this, right?" "You..." Milan stared at me too angrily to speak.She jumped up from the sofa and rushed to the bedroom, slamming the door heavily. "Don't be too happy, it's not certain who will die at his hands first!" I heard her shouting inside, her voice was harsh. I was up all night.In the middle of the night, it snowed heavily, and I looked at the snowflakes in the sky outside the window, and my heart was filled with sadness.Milan is right. It is not certain who will die first. As for who will die first, that is the second. For me, the possibility of dying in the hands of Geng Mochi is relatively high. Qi Shuli, I can't think of any reason for him to let I die. When I woke up in the morning, Milan also woke up. When I went out, Milan said to me coldly: "I will move back in two days. I have disturbed you for a while." I looked at her in surprise, and wanted to say something to stay, but I said "it's up to you" and went out.As soon as I went out, I regretted what I said so sharply last night, but I wanted to save face, and I thought that I would explain to her after a few days when everyone calmed down, and invite her to dinner. I have been like this every time I have conflicts over the years Evened out.How can a friendship of more than ten years be destroyed by Qi Shuli, I am very confident about it. Because of the snow, the train was delayed, and when I arrived at the lake, Qi Shuli and his car had already become a landscape in the snow.He was leaning in front of the car, wearing a black woolen coat and sunglasses, smoking a cigarette while looking at the calm lake with a heavy heart.I noticed that there were at least ten cigarette butts under his feet, "I'm sorry, the train is late, I'm late!" I was a little embarrassed looking at the cigarette butts all over the floor. He looked at me, his face under the sunglasses was inexplicably sad, "It's okay, I'm very grateful that you came here in the snow." The snow was still falling, and the lakeside was peaceful, with no pedestrians, no noise, only the calm lake water tolerantly accepted the snowflakes falling from the sky, and those snowflakes fell lightly, falling into the lake and disappearing in an instant.A layer of white mist rose from the surface of the lake, permeating it, gently surrounding the trees by the lake.Those silent trees stand against the wind, and the snowy branches sway lightly in the wind, as if calling the sleeping ghosts in the lake... Maybe it's because of the cold, maybe it's something else, I can't control my trembling. "Are you cold? Sorry, I chose such a day to ask you out." "It's okay, it's beautiful to come to the lake on a snowy day." "Yes, it's a beautiful lake!" He looked at the lake again, and suddenly asked, "Is it really this lake? Why is it this lake?" I looked at his back, not knowing what he was talking about. "Do you know why I'm here today?" "why?" "Today is his birthday." I froze, Qi Shujie's birthday?I can't remember anything.Not only his birthday, I seldom even think of him. My heart and dreams are full of another man.I didn't know whether I should be grateful for my success in forgetting the past, or feel ashamed that I had forgotten my husband of four years of marriage so quickly. "Fate, it's really fate. I didn't expect him to choose this place. He must have remembered it. He remembered that we played by the lake when we were young..." Qi Shuli didn't blame me for forgetting his brother's birthday, he said to himself , "At that time, he was really a child, chasing after my ass all day long, he was chasing, Xiao Jing was also chasing, we ran together, and when we were tired, we went to the lake to fish. In summer, we like to go to the lake , he is timid, wanting to swim to the depths but dare not, Xiaojing is more courageous than him, always asking me to drag her back from the deep water... Once, Xiaojing bet him that he was No matter what, he dared not swim to the middle of the lake. He was not willing to be ridiculed, and he really swam across, but before he reached the middle of the lake, he suddenly had cramps and sank. I rescued him and dragged him back to the shore. Xiaojing was terrified, and I was also terrified, but he looked at us and laughed. My parents beat us up when they found out about this and banned us from going to the lake. He was grateful to me more than once Said, 'Brother, I owe you my life'... I never imagined that there would be a day when he would leave his life in this lake. Brat, he should know it wasn't his life, it was mine Yes, why didn't he ask me first if he wanted to finish, he should say hello to me! Brat!" "Who is Xiaojing?" I suddenly asked.In the four years of marriage, I have never heard Qi Shujie mention this person. "Xiao Jing? It's our sister!" He replied with his back to me.I couldn't see his expression, I just felt that he was caught in deep memories, "It can't be regarded as my sister, because she has no blood relationship with us, she was adopted by my parents, and she was only five years old when she came to our house. years old, Ajie is nine years old..." I immediately became excited, Qi Shujie, I'm so glad I forgot him, I was his wife for four years, but he never mentioned to me that their family adopted a girl, why did he keep it from me?Intuitively, I could imagine that this girl had brought a strange influence on his life, otherwise he wouldn't have said nothing to me, but Qi Shuli thought I knew all of this, and told me about the past with affection.I restrained myself from making a sound and pricked up my ears to listen. Qi Shuli said that the three brothers and sisters had a very happy childhood together. Gradually, when Qi Shujie grew up, he began to have thoughts about Xiao Jing, and he always stood up to protect her at the first time... Later Qi's father fell ill. Qi Shuli was still in junior high school when he died, and the Qi family's life immediately fell into a difficult situation. Qi's mother had no job, and she was exhausted and couldn't afford to support the three children who went to school.Qi Shuli is very sensible, he dropped out of school to work to earn money without telling his family.He never dared to go home because he was afraid that his mother would be sad. It was not until a year later that he returned home with his hard-earned money. He had to pay his younger brother's tuition and buy Xiaojing her favorite electronic piano that she could never afford.He returned home happily but found that everything had changed, everything had changed, Xiao Jing was gone, she was secretly given away by Mother Qi, even Qi Shujie didn't know about it!Qi Shuli ran out of the house like crazy, and never came back.He found out that Xiao Jing was taken abroad by the family who adopted her, but he had no way of knowing which country she was in. He didn't care, he was desperately making money, and wanted to go abroad to find Xiao Jing... "I finally found a shortcut to go abroad, to be a crew member!" Qi Shuli still turned his back to me, completely immersed in the memories of the past, the more he spoke, the more difficult it was for him to control himself, his voice became a little choked up, "I will follow me without hesitation. A man I knew got on a foreign ship full of Chinese laborers. Ajie came to see me off. He hugged me and cried, and I cried too. I was still crying when the boat sailed away... I clearly remember that Ajie wore He has grown up and is no longer the kid who chased after my ass when I was a child. I asked him what if we couldn’t find Xiaojing, and he started crying again. Said that if he really couldn't find it, he would never get married for the rest of his life. He said it very seriously, and I knew he was speaking from his heart, because I knew he always wanted to marry Xiaojing..." "Have you found Xiao Jing?" I looked at him and asked. "If you find it, will you still be his wife?" I froze for a moment, not understanding what he meant. Qi Shuli turned his face away, his deep eyes rested on my face.His head and body were covered with snowflakes, standing in front of me like a statue, "You are very similar to her, the first time I saw you, I felt like her, not because I look like her, but because I feel like... You should be Ajie Xiaojing in my heart, so he should love you very much, and you should live happily..." "Really?" I interrupted him, my senses came back, "Then what's the matter with me now?" "He must have his reasons!" "Why?" I sneered. As expected of a real brother, he will never forget to protect his younger brother. what am ia substitute?A fool who has been blinded by a devoted husband for four years?I suddenly became excited, the wound in my heart was torn open again, and I looked at Qi Shuli aggressively, "Then should I thank him for giving me such a loyal marriage and allowing me to live happily for several years?" The wife of his dreams!" "Kaoer..." "I should also thank you, right, thank you for telling me this, let me know that there is such soul-stirring family affection and love in this world, and let me understand that I, the biggest fool in the world, have been working as a substitute for four years and still don't know what to do." Unknowingly, let me bloodily see that the whole world is a beautiful deception, human nature is so despicable, they only care about protecting their own hearts from being trampled on, concealing the truth that they think should be concealed the most, other people's hearts, other people's self-esteem, and other people's hearts. You can trample under your feet and turn into mud! What marriage, what responsibility, what life, all worthless! Ridiculous! Ridiculous! Nonsensical..." "You're so excited! Kao'er!" Qi Shuli's calmness also came to an end. "I can't help being excited, listening to such a touching story and knowing such an absurd truth, I can't be indifferent, let alone laugh it off, I'm not that chic, my heart is made of flesh, not an iron wall! If you were me, you couldn't do the same, I don't believe you'd be forgiven for being blinded by a beautiful looking story for four years! Now I'm going to forgive him, pretend it never happened, and save his soul , then who will save me? He can settle it once and for all, I think too! He can go to heaven with a noble sentiment and a beautiful heart, so do I deserve to go to hell? Do I deserve it?" "Kaoer!" "Don't call me that! I don't want to hear anyone from your Qi family call me that!" "Then do you want me to pick him up from the water, beat him up, whip him, and scold him?" Qi Shuli was also angry, pointing at the lake and yelling at me, "He's gone! His life is at stake." In this lake! No matter how much you curse, he can't hear it. If he can hear it, I can go down and ask him to come up now, let you vent your anger, your grievance, your despair, your hatred, your of……" I didn't listen to the latter words, because I went directly to the lake. "Kao'er!" Qi Shuli yelled, chasing me from behind and grabbing me, "Kao'er, don't be like this..." "Let me go! Let me die. If they die, I will die too! I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid of anything... Why should I forgive him? Why forgive him..." I completely lost control, crying and screaming.Qi Shuli hugged me and tried to drag me away from the shore, but his feet slipped and they both fell on the snow.He hugged me tightly, struggling to squat on the ground, still refusing to let go, "I'm sorry, Kao'er, I thought you knew. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have told you this, I just confide in myself , ignoring your feelings. Kao'er, I didn't mean it, believe me, I never thought of hurting you. " I cried in his arms... "I'm sorry, Kao'er." Qi Shuli was covered in snow, even on his hair.He buried my head on his chest and stroked my hair, "Poor Kaur, I will not feel your pain, because this person in front of you is not much better than you, think about it, this He has struggled abroad for so many years, and when he comes back, he has changed. His dearest brother is gone, his father is gone, and his younger sister is gone. The only relative is his mother, but he Seeing that his mother can't find any other emotions except hatred, but he still has to face his mother, because that's the mother who gave birth to him and raised him. He can't face it but has to face it. You are more difficult and more painful!" Seeing that I didn't struggle any more, he said: "We can't change anything or redeem anything. It has already happened. No matter how much we complain or break our hearts, what is lost is lost. He is my brother, your husband. , we all loved him, and he gave us love, although I don't know what happened between you, but Kaoer, is it really so difficult for you to forgive someone who is no longer there? Forgiving him is actually a gift for you Make your own way out, free yourself, let yourself go, you know, it’s not others that trap you, it’s just yourself..." I lowered my eyes and gradually stopped crying.It wasn't until I finally became calm that Qi Shuli pulled me up, brushed the messy hair on my forehead, patted the snow on my shoulders, helped me tighten the scarf, pressed my shoulders and said: "Kaoer, look at me, Looking at the wrinkles on my face and the white hair that is emerging, what I have experienced is by no means imaginable at your age, but when you reach my age, you will look back at the road you have traveled, and you will find that Everything is nothing more than that. Whether it’s family affection or love, what belongs to you will never be lost, and what doesn’t belong to you can’t be forced. Love or hate, the one who suffers in the end is yourself, do you understand? It’s like this for a lifetime In just a few short decades, why can't we look forward and keep dwelling on past loves or hates?" I lowered my head, even though I was still sobbing, I had to admit that every sentence of Qi Shuli's words hit the point. Qi Shuli sighed, led me to his car, and said while walking: "Don't think about those things anymore, live well, I hope you live a happy life, instead of torturing yourself like you are now." He opened the car door for me , and sent me into the car, "I have a lot of things to deal with when I return to the United States this time, and I don't know when I will be back. You have to take care of yourself, can you do it?" I didn't answer him, my eyes fell under a larch tree.There was a person standing under the tree in a daze.He was wearing a short brown coat and a beige scarf. He stood motionless under the tree. He must have been standing there for a long time. His head and shoulders were covered with snowflakes. I stared at him, and he stared at me, and the distance between us was less than twenty meters. "Is it your friend? Do you want to go over and say hello?" "No, let's drive!" "OK!" Qi Shuli closed the car door. The car drove slowly by the lake and passed in front of the man.The snowflakes were still flying all over the sky, and I watched his figure slowly fall backwards outside the car window, just like rewinding a video tape.I closed my eyes tiredly, my mind was in chaos again. Geng Mochi, I said I don't want to see you again. It was evening when I got home, and Milan was dressing up, and it looked like he had another date.This is her style, and nothing can affect her dating mood at any time.She once said that a very important sign of a woman's worth is whether she has a date. According to her, I have no value anymore, because since Qi Shujie passed away, I have rarely been dated.Qi Shuli often asks me out, but I rarely agree.I looked at Milan, who painted his eyebrows and eyes, and felt indescribably sad. Is our friendship so fragile?Just for a Qi Shu ceremony? "I will move out tomorrow." Milan said to me while putting on makeup. "You can move if you want, it's up to you." I still said that, but my heart hurts. Milan glanced at me coldly and began to put on lipstick, "Sorry to bother you for so long." "It's okay, we are all friends." I also said coldly. "Yes, we are friends!" Milan's tone was very aggressive, and he started to put on nail polish after putting on lipstick.The pungent smell immediately made my stomach churn, and I jumped up and rushed to the bathroom.When I came out, Milan had already put on her makeup, and she was sitting on the sofa radiantly looking at me, "You seem to be throwing up a lot lately." "My stomach is not feeling well, maybe it's because of the cold." I felt guilty and didn't dare to look at her. "Really? Then you should pay more attention." Milan got up and walked towards the door, as if he knew it well, before leaving the door, he said, "It's best to solve the trouble as soon as possible, and don't make small troubles into troubles." big trouble." There is no doubt that she has already guessed, what can be hidden from her?If you guessed it, you guessed it, as long as the bastard doesn't know, I think I still have the ability to solve this matter.This is my second pregnancy. The first time was because I was angry with Mother Qi. I made the baby on my own. Qi Shujie hated me for this for a long time. Maybe he is still hating me now in the grave because I didn’t leave it for him. After all, it's strange that I don't regret it at all, really, I never regret it, and I don't know why.But this time, I was unexpectedly a little hesitant. In fact, it is easy to solve, just lie down on the operating table, but I am hesitating... the phone is ringing.Who will call at this time?I hesitated and grabbed the phone, but before I could speak, Ah Qing croaked on the phone: "Sister, I have good news for you, Geng Mochi is coming to Hunan to perform!" "..." At work the next day, I called Jinyi, "Didn't you tell him what I said?" Jinyi said, "I did." "Why did they still come here after I told him I didn't want to see him?" "I asked him, and he said that the plan to perform in Star City was arranged last year. Kao'er, don't be angry, maybe it's really a work arrangement..." The ghost letter is a work arrangement!I think he is so selfish that he even thought of tricking me into going to France, but he never asked me if I would like to.My family and my life are all in China, so why should I go to France with him?He is crazy, really crazy, I think the best way to deal with such a crazy person is to ignore him, I don't believe he can really tie me up with a rope.But people are not as good as God. Two days later, when Lao Cui called me to the office and asked me to invite Geng Mochi to come to the station for a show, I felt like I had been hit in the head, and I didn't recover for a long time. Old Cui's words were still very tactful, and his words were meticulous, "Geng Mochi is an important figure in the music scene nowadays. This time he came to Hunan to perform, and the officials paid great attention to him, because he can be regarded as half from Hunan. His mother is from Hunan. People. So before he came, the media here started to move. They were all vying for his interviews, newspapers, magazines, TV stations, etc. We couldn’t compete with these powerful media. The problem is that our friendly stations are also competing. After much deliberation, I think it's most appropriate for you to come forward to discuss this matter, because you host a music show yourself, and Geng Mochi and Geng Mochi definitely have a common language in terms of music, and you are also the most friendly in our station Yes, if you can’t take it down, others won’t be able to take it down.” As expected of Old Cui, he didn't mention me and Geng Mochi's acquaintance, so it's possible that he didn't know about it, and it's fine if A Qing's big mouth wasn't broadcast directly on the show.It is said that Jiang is old and hot. In front of the scheming old Cui, can I, a little sparrow with no hair on the edge of Dongting Lake, beat him? "I know that this matter is difficult, because I heard that Geng Mochi doesn't like to deal with the media. He has always kept a low profile and rarely makes public appearances except for performances. But we can't stop dealing with people because they are not easy to deal with. Well, work can always be done by human beings, and the Eight Immortals cross the sea to show their magical powers, Kaoer, I believe you have this ability." I have to admit that Lao Cui is very good at doing ideological work. He usually first explains the importance of the matter, then poses difficulties, and finally gives encouragement, so that you can't find any reason to shirk. I drooped my head and could only admit that I was unlucky. After get off work, I was walking down the bustling street alone, wondering if I should go to the blind man under the overpass in Wuyi Square for a fortune-telling. What kind of god did I go to for my back recently... Just thinking wildly, Yingzhi called and asked me to meet at Apollo, saying that he had something to ask me.When we met, she straight to the point asked me what was going on with Milan.I was in a state of confusion, and I just said that there was nothing wrong, she just wanted to move back by herself. "I don't think it's that simple," Yingzhi said, "I understand both of you, if you are dead-tempered, you must be at odds again." I sighed and didn't want to say anything more. "It's been so many years, I know the basics, and I'm not too young, don't be like a child." Yingzhi carried a large bag of snacks and toys, and walked while holding my arm, "There must be something. What's the matter, can't you tell me the truth?" "How do you know?" I asked back. "Isn't it because Milan called me last night and said she was going to move back and asked me to be her companion... She also said a lot of inexplicable things, I couldn't understand, I asked her, but she refused to say ..." "what did she say?" "Say... oh, I can't remember, it's just a bunch of words anyway," Yingzhi obviously didn't want to tell me those words, and shook her head, "Milan looks very happy, but in fact, she may not be, she is a deep-rooted person, which makes people feel happy. Unpredictable." I didn't say a word, thinking that if she was so easy to figure out, it wouldn't be Milan. "Why do you buy so many things?" I looked at Sakura's bag full of things and asked, trying to change the topic. "Why don't you go to see Dandan." Yingzhi said in a low voice. "How is Dandan now?" "Don't mention it, I've gone to see it four or five times, but I can't see anyone every time, and the people in their family won't let me see." Yingzhi said, her eyes turned red, "In order not to let me see the child, They didn't even let him go to kindergarten, they shut him up at home every day, and heard from the neighbors that they planned to take Dandan to the countryside..." "Why? Zhang Qianshan is sorry for you, but he won't let you watch the child. How can there be such a thing in the world?" As soon as I heard it, I became angry, and Zhang Qianshan was deceiving too much. "Hey, you don't understand, you don't understand many things." Yingzhi waved his hands repeatedly when he talked about the key points, not wanting to continue, "It's all the sins of the previous life, and I deserve to be punished." "But..." I was about to ask for clarification, when the phone rang, it was Qi Shuli calling, he said that he was going back to America tomorrow, and wanted to invite me to dinner.I wanted to refuse at first, but he spoke very sincerely and tactfully, and blocked my way to decline before sending out the invitation, and he blocked it quietly.I really think this man is very powerful. For such a powerful man, ten Milans might not be his opponent.At this time, my heart suddenly moved, and I quickly called Milan, saying that President Qi was going back to the United States, and invited the two of us to dinner, and asked her if she would go... I was really surprised, Qi Shuli actually chose the "encounter" restaurant, this is the first time Geng Mochi and I dined, Qi Shuli took a fancy to this place, I don't know if it was God's will, but when I met the same diner at the restaurant When Geng Mochi and his assistant Xiao Lin were together, it was really God's will. Five men and women finally sat on a table strangely, and the atmosphere suddenly became delicate.Milan sat with me, Qi Shuli sat next to me, Geng Mochi sat opposite Qi Shuli, and assistant Xiao Lin sat beside him.This layout is like a game of chess, each has its own goal, each has its own opponent, and the future bloody and tearful life-and-death contest has already begun to emerge at this time. "Why are you still alone? Why don't you start a family?" I asked Qi Shuli, looking for something to say. "There are so many reasons, it's hard to explain in one word." Qi Shuli replied very measuredly. "Is there no time?" Milan looked at him gracefully with his chin propped up, with a smile like a flower, and the airwaves were frequent, "It seems that the best reason for not having a family is that there is no time. Many of my friends are like this." Milan put on a very bright makeup tonight, the silver eye shadow gleamed seductively, the purple lip gloss had perfect lines, and the whole face was as delicate as a beauty's head on a wall calendar, very beautiful, but a bit dull in beauty. Maybe it's because he watches too many beauties, Qi Shuli doesn't look at the "wall calendar" at all, he looks at me, and I look at Geng Mochi, Geng Mochi doesn't know what to look at, so he can only look at the wall lamp in the restaurant.After turning around in this way, Qi Shuli finally fixed his eyes on Geng Mochi, and immediately distinguished the enemy from us, pointed his gun at him unequivocally, and approached him politely, "This Mr. Geng is so young, what kind of job do you do?" ?” "Plays the piano." Geng Mochi has always been indifferent to strangers, not to mention this "stranger" he met by the lake that day, I could feel his cold chill across a table across from him when I sat across from him. And Xiao Lin, the assistant sitting next to him, was afraid that others would look down on her boss, so he quickly interjected: "Ms. Geng is a very famous pianist, and he played the LOVE series." “哦，那曲子我听过，”祁树礼连连说，“原来是阁下弹的，失敬失敬。”耿墨池侧过脸狠狠地瞪了一眼小林，怪她多嘴。小林吓得身子一缩，再也不敢多话。 “这么年轻又这么有才华，耿先生一定成家了吧？”祁树礼又笑吟吟地问。此言一出，一桌的人变了色，显然祁树礼还不知道跟他弟弟自杀的那个女人就是耿墨池的太太叶莎。空气顿时变得很紧张。我瞪着祁树礼，不知道该怎么阻止他继续问。 “我……跟你一样，也是单身。”耿墨池不愧是见过世面的，处变不惊。 “单身不好哦，”祁树礼不时地把眼光瞟向我，意味深长，“就像我，很孤独，虽然有很多房子，可是没有一处房子觉得像个家，所以现在我干脆住酒店，权当是出差旅行，不用想家的问题。” “我觉得还好，挺自由。”耿墨池实话实说。 我迅速地扫他一眼，心想你当然自由，想带谁出来吃饭就带谁出来，不用跟任何人交代，而且带出来的人还这么乖巧体贴，你看她自己好像没怎么吃，整顿饭都在忙个不停，一会儿倒酒，一会儿递餐巾，一会儿又剥大虾送到耿墨池碗里，殷勤得过分，明摆着是故意做给我看的。而这位大钢琴家一点儿也不觉得不妥，慢条斯理地享用着，显然他是习惯了的。 这顿饭吃得很不是滋味…… 当然，最让我觉得不是滋味的是这家餐厅是我跟他第一次用餐的地方，每次经过这儿，我都要留恋地张望几眼，他可以带任何女人去任何餐厅，为什么偏偏要带来这儿呢？而我这么在意，是不是表明我心里还是有他的呢？这么百转千回地一想，我更纠结了，原来我也不过是个小气量的人。就在我闷闷不乐地纠结的时候，桌上的两个男人已经在斗智斗勇了，两人你一句我一句，表面上一团和气风度翩翩，暗地里却是杀机重重，对方几斤几两重心里都有了数。 “很高兴认识你，耿先生。” 祁树礼道别时握着耿墨池的手由衷地说。他说的是实话，对手终于显了形绝对是件好事，看得见的对手肯定比看不见的对手好对付。 “我也很高兴认识你，下次有机会我们再聊。” 耿墨池兵来将挡，他也是久经沙场，不是初出茅庐的小牛犊。 而这两个男人握手绝对是个很不好的预兆，或者是暗示，好比两个拳击手开战前礼节性的握手一样，短暂的和平只是为长久的战争打下埋伏。 我有一瞬间的失神，隐隐觉得这顿饭可能是一个很不好的开始。 果然，晚上回到家，我一进门就接到耿墨池兴师问罪的电话。我们在电话里又是一顿恶吵，耿墨池像是个火药桶似的一点就要着，“白考儿，你给我听清楚，如果你不想死得太难看的话，最好收敛自己的行为，那男人一看就不是什么好东西。” “他不是什么好东西，你又是什么好东西！” “我的确不是什么好东西，不过你跟我睡了这么久，我是什么东西你应该最清楚！”他的火气真是大啊，“啪”的一下就挂了电话。 耿墨池刚挂了电话我才意识到不妙，老崔交代的任务还没完成，我怎么能把这位爷给得罪了，这下坏了，我怎么给老崔交差啊。 我纠结了一晚上，早上醒来的时候我还是决定委曲求全一下，工作的事暂且抛开不说，两个人分道扬镳，也不至于成仇人，何况跟他成仇人对我没任何好处，只会让彼此心里不痛快。至于他是不是这么想，我不知道，于是先打了个电话去试探。我看了下时间，刚过八点。他显然还在睡，声音混浊不清，“谁啊，大清早的还让不让人睡了。” “是我，墨池，你醒了吗？”这么婉转柔和的问候声从我嘴里说出来，我自己都起一身的鸡皮疙瘩。电话那边好一会儿没反应，显然我的声音太极品了，让这家伙一时没醒过神。他有些不确定地问，“白考儿？” “是我，你还在睡？” 静默片刻，电话那端传来他没好气的声音：“你没事吧？这么大清早的用这么妖精的声音打电话，也不怕吓着人。” “我这不是关心你嘛，想问你吃早饭没，我请你吃。到了湖南，我怎么着也得尽下地主之谊吧。” “你……你确定你没受刺激？”这家伙还在怀疑，难道我平时跟他说话有那么糟糕？我好不容易温柔一回，他居然用怀疑上帝的眼光来怀疑我，真不知好歹！ “呃，你是不是忒不待见我对你好啊？” “你对我好过吗？” “好了好了，我知道昨晚不该用那种语气跟你说话，我给你道歉行吧？起来啦，别睡了，出来吃点儿东西。” 耿墨池想了下，懒懒地说：“我不出去，就在酒店吃，楼下有餐厅。” “你住酒店啊，你原来在这儿不是有房子吗？” 又是静默片刻。 我脑子里飞速旋转，反应过来，“那你住哪家酒店，我这就赶过去。” “你连我住哪儿都不知道，你还觉得是我忽略了你吗？”这男人的声音陡然冷得像渗了冰，然后是嘟嘟的忙音，他又挂了电话。 "..." 每次总是这样，好不容易有一点点进展，最后又陷入僵局。到底是我太敏感还是他太敏感？我站在卧室的窗前叹气，终究还是裂痕太深，一不小心就牵动彼此的伤疤。清晨的风让我慢慢变得清醒，我跟他纵然不是仇人，也绝无可能做到心平气和坦然相对。可是片刻后，当我收拾妥当准备去上班时，他发了条短信过来，就两个字：佳程。真够惜字如金的。 我一颗心却落了地，迅速穿上大衣出门。结果正赶上上班高峰，一路堵车。我怕他等得急，只得给他发短信：“路上塞车，你要是饿了就先到餐厅点东西吃。”好半天没动静，估计又生气了，果然，他憋闷了很久后回了条短信：“你真是个没脑子的女人。白痴！” 好吧，看在有求于他的分上，我忍了。等我赶到酒店，九点都过了，餐厅里稀稀落落，客人都差不多吃完走光了。耿墨池一个人坐在角落里，黑着脸，瞧见我进去的时候那眼光恨不得把我活剐了。我当然只能连连道歉，因为早餐是自助形式，我自己顾不上吃，拿了盘子先给他装东西，跑前跑后的忙活了半天，他的脸色这才有所缓和。等我好不容易坐下来，他吃了一口就把刀叉扔盘子里了，“真难吃！” “那你想吃什么，我去外面给你买，酒店里的东西就这味。” 他皱皱眉，盯着我，“你没被雷劈吧？” 意思是我突然变得这么殷勤，肯定是哪儿出了毛病。 我嘻嘻笑道：“你就当我被雷劈了吧。” 他端详我片刻，脸上也慢慢有了笑意，指了指楼上，“到我房间去谈，如何？我知道你肯定是有事，这里不适合说话，我讨厌这些面包味。” 他真是聪明，知道我这么殷勤肯定是有事。但为什么要去房间呢？从小妈妈就教育我，好人家的姑娘是不能随便进男人房间的…… “怎么，怕我对你图谋不轨？”他的脸又冷了下来，我的犹豫让他很不悦。 “要不，我们去二楼喝咖啡吧。” 话音刚落，他就蹭的一下站起来，头也不回地朝外面走。 “哎……”我起身追上去，“干吗呀，你怎么这么容易生气，我又没说不可以，我是怕打搅你好不好，你马上要演出，需要休息。” 这时他已经进了电梯，我赶在门关上的刹那冲进去，他冷着脸看都不朝我看，我也不敢吭声，电梯停在18楼，我耷拉着脑袋尾随着进了他住的房间。 果然是大牌，住总统套房啊，我还没来得及好好瞄上两眼，他就一脚踢上门，拽着我的胳膊将我甩到沙发上，俯下身捏着我的下巴恶狠狠地说：“你是不是觉得我太把你当回事了，所以就有恃无恐？你信不信我会捏碎你的下巴？一声不吭就跑了，你把我当什么？告诉你，我这次来湖南举办音乐会只是其次，我就是来收拾你的！” “墨池……” “别叫我！” “难道你要把我拐到法国我就只能跟着你走吗？我爹妈还在这里，我跟你跑去法国干什么呀，我又不会说法语……” 他这才松开我的下巴，一屁股坐在对面沙发上，还挺理直气壮的，“我不过是想跟你去一个没人认识我们的地方好好开始，我又不会把你卖了。” “我不是怕你把我卖了，我是丢不下我家人，我爹妈年纪都大了，我又是长女，我怎么能抛下他们不管呢？” “哟嘿，说这话你不脸红啊，好像你很孝顺似的，我可从没发现你是个孝女！”顿了顿，又说，“如果你实在丢不下，我们可以把他们接到法国去安度晚年嘛。” “那我爸肯定会先打断我的腿。” “你就不怕我打断你的腿？” "you will not." “你凭什么说我不会？” “因为你爱我，你舍不得。” 耿墨池像是被呛了下，好半天没缓过来。我趁他还没缓过来马上又接着说：“其实我是有事来找你的，我们谈正事吧。” 他恍然大悟似的眯起眼睛，“我就说你要么是被雷劈了要么就是有求于我，不然没这么变态。” “那你会答应吗？”我趁热打铁，“其实就是想请你去我们台做节目，你不会很为难吧？” 他冷哼一声，“我凭什么答应你？” “因为你爱我。” "..." 耿墨池揉着太阳穴，只有服气的份了，“白考儿，你有没有觉得你很无耻？” “无耻是一种美德，你自己说过的。耿墨池先生，你招呼都不打一声就要把我骗去法国，你这跟八国联军强抢民女有什么区别？而且爱情是建立在相互信任和尊重的基础上的，你这么不尊重我，我凭什么跟你走？”我果然不是当淑女的料，才装了一会儿就露馅了。 耿墨池嗤之以鼻，“你是民女吗？你就是一刁妇！”说着朝门口一指，“你可以滚了。” 滚就滚，我还就不稀罕你去做节目，大不了我如实禀告老崔，我拿不下你这大爷，我就不信老崔还能把我开了！我二话没说拎起包就朝门口走。 “明天上午九点，你跟我去个地方，我们再谈。”他忽然又在背后说。 我迟疑着转过身，“什么意思？” “我不想跟你在这里谈，我怕我控制不住自己把你办了，可是我有洁癖，我从来不在酒店做这种事情。” "..." 我确定我的牙齿在打架，几乎就要把手袋砸他头上去。而他显然很乐见我生气，我一生气他反而笑了起来，“既然有求于我，你总得拿点诚意出来，不牺牲点儿色相怎么说得过去呢？你知道我从来不做赔本的买卖，何况我又这么爱你，我们又这么久没见面了，小别胜新婚，我们找个安静的地方好好聚聚，什么火气都消了是不是？” 我不得不承认，物以类聚这话是没错的，像我这么无耻不要脸的人才会遇上比我更无耻更不要脸的人，我认栽了！ 我摇摇晃晃，竭力稳定一触即发的情绪，“好吧，你说到哪儿谈？” “落日山庄，明天我去接你。” "it is good." “还有……”他瞅着我，欲言又止。 "what?" “你……跟那个祁树礼……睡过没有？” There was a silence. 我一脚将旁边的椅子踹翻，掉头就走，一边走一边骂：“耿墨池，你真不是个东西！” “我本来就不是个东西！”他回答干脆。 但是第二天，我还是跟那个不是东西的家伙去了落日山庄。和为贵，和为贵，我不停地在心里给自己灭火，谁让我有求于他呢？ 耿墨池开车载我去的，他说的那个山庄我从未听说过，坐落在靠近星城县城的一个叫清泉镇的山坳里，很远，路也不好走，他开了两个多小时的车才到。环境倒是不错，四面青山，一望无际的茶园和绿树将山庄掩映其中，很有点“庭院深深深几许”的味道。 耿墨池直接把车开进绿油油的茶园，进入到一个白墙青瓦绿树环绕的深院，无处不见的青苔显示出它已年代久远，我觉得建筑风格有点像江南一带的私家宅院，进门就是个大牌楼，我琢磨着这宅院从前肯定是大户人家。 “这是我母亲的祖居。”耿墨池介绍说。 一进门我就张着嘴说不出话：没有任何遮拦的木架屋顶，巨大的老式吊灯，擦得雪亮的木地板，弧形环绕而上的楼梯，客厅整面墙的落地窗，只在电视里见过的壁炉，柔软的地毯，老式的看上去很舒适的布沙发，檀木的精致储物柜，墙上古老的油画，金色的老式挂钟…… 我看傻了，以为自己到了哪个电视剧的拍摄现场，因为眼前这老式又很华贵的摆设只有在电视里才看得到。现在都什么年代了，谁还会把房子弄成这样？ “坐吧，你不累吗？”耿墨池不知什么时候已坐在了靠窗的沙发上，开了两个多小时的车他显得有些疲惫，拍拍身边的位置，“坐，待会儿杨婶会给你泡茶的。” 在路上就听他讲了，他雇了两个人看守这山庄，杨婶是他们家从前的老保姆，现在还在山庄负责打扫卫生料理家务，她老伴刘师傅负责打理茶园。 两人坐着扯了几句闲话，自然扯到了我从上海跑回星城的事，他还好意思问我，“你为什么要跑回来呢？去法国不好吗？” “你没有权利决定我的人生，连我父母都做不了我的主，你凭什么这么武断地认为去法国对我来说就是很好的安排？” “你还是不懂我。”他叹口气，“我只是想安静地跟你生活，不被打扰……” “可如果你的心里不平静，逃到世界任何一个角落都无济于事。” “也许吧，我确实很不平静，认识你的那天就开始了。” 我看着他，两个多月不见，他又消瘦了些，但精神还是很好，温暖的阳光透过宽大的落地窗照耀在他身上，让他的脸呈现出一种异样的光芒，比阳光温暖，也比阳光刺眼。那光芒带着某种可怕的诱因，毫无道理地淹没了我，让我的心又开始陷入莫名的悲伤，就隔着一张茶几的距离，我还是看不透这个男人，他优柔的面孔后面到底隐藏着怎样的一颗心…… “那个，到电台做节目的事，你看方便安排下时间吗？”我望着他，言归正传。 耿墨池很有趣地瞅着我笑，显然是我的急不可耐表现得太明显，“先说点儿别的嘛，不要开口就是工作。”很明显，他在拖延时间。 “你想说什么？”没办法，我只能陪着他拖。 “就从我小时候说起吧，比如我是在这山庄里出生的。” 这倒让我来了兴趣，如果多了解些他的情况是有利于做节目的，我直视他，等他开口。 “小时候……”他仰起头，眼睛盯着天花板一动不动，好像陷入了回忆，“我的小时候不能说不幸福，但很少快乐。我父亲在我很小的时候就去世了，母亲后来改嫁到上海，我的继父也是个生意人，对我很好，他自己和前任太太已经有三个孩子，加上我就是四个了。他忙着做生意很少跟我们在一起，在我的印象中他只是个父亲的轮廓。我十几岁的时候，母亲带着我妹妹随继父移民新西兰，不久我也赴法留学，没跟他们在一起，虽然他们一再要求我也去新西兰，但我最后还是选择了回国。至于这个山庄，以前是一个亲戚住在这里，后来他们家到外地做生意去了，房子就空下来了。我自己也没办法住在这里，只好请了一对老夫妇帮着打理，就是刚才你看到的杨婶，她老伴这会儿肯定在茶场忙着，她去叫他去了。” “就这些？”我很失望。 “就这些。”他答。 我看着他，忽然问：“你说你的童年幸福，但不快乐，为什么？” “不为什么，不快乐就是不快乐。” “弹钢琴也不能让你快乐吗？” 他目光渐冷，“谁说我弹钢琴就快乐，我根本就不喜欢弹钢琴！” 我瞪大眼睛，难以置信，“你不喜欢弹钢琴？” “没有哪个孩子喜欢！试想，哪个孩子喜欢从小被钉在琴凳上？我就是钉在琴凳上长大的孩子，没有自由，没有游戏，没有伙伴，普通孩子能享受的一切快乐我通通享受不到！你说我会喜欢吗？”这么说着，他眼底流露出一种决然的悲怆，看着让人心里发疼。 “那你可以不弹嘛。” “没办法，得装啊，因为母亲喜欢我弹琴，她喜欢的我就必须得喜欢。虽然她不会怪我什么，也不会逼我，但让她高兴就是我最大的高兴，她若失望或难过我就更失望难过。从很小的时候开始，我就懂得我活着的全部意义就是让母亲快乐满足，我一直是这么想也是这么做的。” “那你自己的快乐呢？”我看着他，不能理解一个钢琴家居然会不喜欢钢琴，我一直以为像他这样一个才华横溢琴艺精湛的艺术家会把钢琴视为生命的。 “我说过我很少快乐的，在我的概念里，快乐是别人给予的，也是给予别人的。” 我瞪着他不知所云。 “干吗这表情，听不懂我说的话？”他对我的迟钝有些不满。 我傻乎乎地问：“那如果重新给你一次选择的机会，你还会选择钢琴吗？” 他斩钉截铁，“不会！” "why?" “还用问为什么吗？如果没有钢琴，我的生活绝不会是现在这个样子！”他望向窗外，目光停留在那生机勃勃的树叶上，轻舞飞扬的树叶跟他的黯然神伤形成鲜明的对比，他像跟自己说话一样喃喃自语道，“也许没有钢琴我会很平淡，没有这么多掌声和荣耀，但我可以像平常人一样，过着平静而真实的生活，哪怕是清贫的生活，也会比现在有味道！” “那你怎么不选择其他的职业呢，即使现在你也没老嘛。” “不可能了，完全不可能了。从我开始记事起，我的生活里就没离开过钢琴，就跟吃饭睡觉一样，弹钢琴就是我的一个生活习惯，这个习惯至今已延续了三十年，我在钢琴的世界里桎梏了三十年，我的整个生命和灵魂已跟钢琴融为一体，我想象不到，离开钢琴我还会做什么……” 说着他站起身，在房间内踱来踱去，最后他站到了窗前。我看不到他的表情，只听到他又是一声长叹，声音喑哑地说：“我何尝不想换换空气，换换环境，我也不是没有努力过，很多年前我就跟继父学过做生意，但我失败了，残酷的事实把我打回了原地，我不得不回到钢琴这口棺材里继续做个绝望的活死人！真的是个棺材呢，我一出生就跟这棺材钉在了一起……” 我瞪着他，像在听一个疯子的演讲。 “又是这表情，我的话有这么难懂？”他走过来，坐在我身边，用手搭住我的肩，“想不到我有这么可怜吧，所以你要对我好点儿，别动不动就跟个狮子似的冲我张牙舞爪！” 我嘀咕：“也不知道谁是狮子！” "What did you say?" “没什么，我只是发愁摆不平你我怎么跟台长交差。”我说的是实话，说了半天，一点儿也没扯到正题上去。 “要摆平我还不简单吗？”他凑近我，又是一副居心叵测的表情。我故作镇定，可怜巴巴地说：“你就不要为难我了，我有份工作不容易，你还是配合下吧。” 他眉心蹙起，不耐烦地说：“你知道的，我不大接受访问，尤其是你们那种电台直播。” “你是腕儿，啥场面没见过，应付下也可以嘛。我保证不刁难你。” “你会问些什么问题？” “就跟你刚才聊的差不多，你的成长经历、你对钢琴演奏的感想、你对现今流行音乐的见解等等，就是很随意的那种聊天，包括这次音乐会的一些事情你也可以谈谈，当然如果你能谈下你个人的生活就更好了，不会很难的。” “个人的生活？” “就是私生活，比如情感、婚姻等。” “免谈！”他霍地站起来，又用背影对着我，“我什么都可以跟你谈，就是这个问题你最好别碰，如果你还想我去电台做访问的话！” "why?" “不为什么！”他的脸色很不好看。刚好这时杨婶敲门进来了，笑着说可以开饭了。我一看墙上的挂钟，十二点了，时间过得好快！ “好，去吃饭！”他如释重负，看也不看我就径直走出了房间。This man! 吃饭的时候，两人谁也不说话。我更不想说，因为看着那满桌的菜，我全无食欲。我得时刻警觉自己的胃。“你怎么不吃啊？”他快吃完的时候发现我碗里的饭还没动。 “没什么