Chapter 9 chapter eight

Life is like a play, and play is like life. At the end of our performance, we often can't tell who is in the play and who is watching.Entering the play too deeply, leaving the play too slowly, so there is confusion and pain outside the play. Because I had to go to work on the eighth day of the eighth day, I went back to Star City on the sixth day, cleaned up the house, and worked hard all day.Auntie Zhang, the neighbor next door, was very happy to see me coming back. She gave me a lot of sausages she made by herself, and said to me, "You are back. There was a man who came to see you every day before the Chinese New Year. He just stopped by your door. After a while, I came here again in the second day of junior high school. It was snowing heavily that day. I saw that he was so cold that I asked him to come in and sit down. He refused and stood by your door all the time. He pulled it away, he committed a crime..."

I lost my mind for a moment. "Is it your boyfriend?" Aunt Zhang asked inquiringly. I smiled, "No." All of a sudden, I felt weak, and my chest was tight and I couldn't breathe.I thanked Aunt Zhang repeatedly for the sausage, and then I closed the door and entered the house silently.After sitting in the room for a while, I felt more and more breathless, so I opened the window, and the crisp fresh air made me shiver. I don't want to think about it too much. I pretend to be fine and cook. I cook a table full of dishes by myself, and drink by myself under the lamp. I drank a lot of wine, but I didn't eat a few bites of the dishes. .

Because there is no Internet at home in Xiangbei, I have not been online since years ago. After dinner, I turned on the computer and checked my mailbox online. When I was cleaning up junk mail, I accidentally found an email signed by "Jinyi".I vaguely remembered that I had left an email address for He Jinyi in Shanghai, what would happen to her looking for me?Unable to control my curiosity, I clicked on the email... For a long, long time, I didn't move my computer screen, and stared at the letter without blinking, as if the screen could take people's souls away, and I became an empty shell without a soul.

No wonder he disappeared without a trace after I had a big fight with him on the day of the operation, and I didn’t see him when he was discharged from the hospital. It turned out that he had already been sent to Shanghai.On the night of Chinese New Year's Eve, he must have seen my text message and ran back, looking for me frantically. It was so cold and snowing that he fell ill again.Why is he coming back?Want to explain something, am I misunderstanding him? I carefully recalled the ins and outs of the matter, and I always felt that something was wrong.Based on what I know about him, he probably doesn't like Xiao Lin. Xiao Lin is quite young and energetic, but in my impression, Geng Mochi has never even looked at her, and usually talks to her and explains things coldly. Attitude, he has always regarded himself very highly, never bothered to pretend anything, and he was not good at it either.

In the yard downstairs, there were children setting off firecrackers, intermittently, crackling, every sound seemed to explode in my heart.I started to shiver. Even though the heater was turned on, I was still shivering from the cold.Tears kept falling down, and I kept wiping away the tears, but I couldn't wipe them away.And then I was running around the house, in constant panic, not knowing what I was going to do, what else I could do, what I had done.I sat on the sofa in the living room panting, looked at the wall clock on the wall, and counted the clicks and clicks of the pendulum in my heart. The sound sounded like a time bomb. The air expanded, and my eyes widened. Watching himself being blown to pieces in the void of space.

If I really misunderstood him, the words I said in the ward that day undoubtedly gave him a devastating blow. It is not surprising that his weak heart can withstand such stimulation, so it is not surprising. Trembling, I called Yingzhi and asked what happened to Geng Mochi after he was dragged out of the ward by Milan that day.After hesitating for a moment, Yingzhi sighed, "When I came out of the ward, he was lying on the ground, many people surrounded him, Milan was also beside him, the doctor was giving him CPR, and then he was sent to the hospital. Emergency room rescued." "and then?"

"It seems that he was sent to Shanghai by special plane that night. His attending doctor is there, and the medical conditions are better than here." Yingzhi sighed over and over again on the phone, "Kaoer, I really don't believe Mr. Geng is like that There must be a misunderstanding, you didn't see how scary he was when he got sick, his face was pale and his lips were black, I thought he was going to go." "Sakura, why didn't you tell me earlier!" I was sobbing on the phone. "Milan didn't let me say it. She said that you are still recovering, and knowing these things will increase your psychological burden." Speaking of Milan, Yingzhi's tone became hesitant again, "Kaoer, I don't know It’s not that I’m overthinking, I think Milan is a little strange recently, she went to Shanghai and came back, her whole person’s condition is not right, she even quit her job.”

"What, quit your job? I don't know, she didn't tell me..." "She will definitely not tell you! But I have known for a long time that she has a close relationship with a director of their newspaper named Luo, who has a family. A while ago, his wife went to the newspaper to make a big fuss. Milan probably resigned It's related to this, she didn't tell you because she knew you hated mistress the most, so she became mistress herself, even though she didn't admit it, it had already spread!" I shook my head, my mind was completely confused, and my heart was clenched from crying, "Yingzhi, I don't care about Milan's affairs now, I just want to know how Geng Mochi is doing now, I am very worried about him, I think I must have misunderstood him, it must be, otherwise he wouldn't have had the disease...I didn't know he had such a serious heart attack! Yingzhi, I never really cared about him..."

I've never hated myself more than I do now, and for God's sake, this is not what I want!I love him, even though things have gone so far, my love for him is still the same. If possible, even if I become a ghost immediately, I will rush to confess to him and tell him that I didn't mean it!But, there is no chance, I lost that child, and I also lost the only witness of our love!Is this love without blessing?What did I do wrong, we just love each other, we didn't hinder anyone, why does God always step us into the abyss of suffering again and again? I can't figure it out, I feel like I've been buried in ruins suddenly, I can't breathe, I can't see the light, I will be trapped in this darkness for the rest of my life.This reminds me of another person who is sleeping in the dark world——Qi Shujie, is it because you cursed us underground that I always miss the happiness I get?All these sufferings are obviously brought to me by you, so why can't I be happy?Why!

That night I caught a plane to go to Shanghai.Every day in Shanghai, I feel like being roasted on the flames. There are no words to describe the heart-piercing burning pain.Geng Mochi's condition is very unstable, sometimes he is awake, sometimes he is in a coma, sometimes he seems to recognize me, sometimes he looks at me like a stranger.On the day he woke up for the first time, I knelt by the bed, put his hand on my cheek, just cried, kept crying, incoherent, but he withdrew his hand with great effort, turned his face away, no look at me again.Later, his condition gradually improved, and he didn't say a word to me until he was discharged from the hospital.

Jinyi always creates opportunities for us to get along alone, but he looks at me like he is looking at a wall, with neither sadness nor joy on his face, and the calmness makes people scared.I would rather he cursed at me with the most vicious words, just like I have pissed him off in the past, but he was completely indifferent to me, whether I cried to him and confessed to him, or I groveled and looked after him like a servant. Nothing happens.We're back at a stalemate, and if I had known I wouldn't have left him, these things wouldn't have happened if I hadn't! Qi Shuli once asserted that I would regret it, and I said to him at that time, "How can there be no regrets in life", I was so proud and convinced that this relationship would not let us hurt each other again, so I suffered retribution ?It is meaningless to talk about regrets today, and I do everything possible to make up for it.After being discharged from the hospital, Geng Mochi returned to Wangjiang Apartment in Pudong. I asked the radio station for a long vacation to stay by his side every day, and became his nanny again.During that time, apart from helping him tidy up his house and taking care of his daily life, the most important thing I did was to tell him to take medicine.Thanks to Jin Yi, she carefully wrote down the dosage of each medicine clearly in the small book, including what to fast on weekdays, and what food is good for his health, she wrote it clearly in the book . People come to see him every day, from friends to his agents and assistants.It is worth mentioning that his former personal assistant Xiao Lin has resigned, and according to Jin Yi, he was fired. "I don't know what annoyed him, but he fired Xiao Lin." Jin Yi obviously didn't know the inside story, and said to me regretfully, "Actually, Xiao Lin is a nice girl, she is very serious in her work, and she is also very considerate to him." "Don't mention Xiao Lin in front of him in the future." I told Jinyi. Jin Yi was surprised, "Why?" "Don't ask why, just don't mention it." "Oh, I see." Once some things become each other's wounds, don't mention them if you can. As for the truth of the facts, it doesn't matter anymore.Now I just want to be by his side every minute and every second, even if he ignores me and doesn't talk to me, as long as I can be by his side and feel his existence, I will be satisfied.When my mother learned that I had returned to Shanghai, she hung up the phone without saying anything.Although she didn't say anything, I knew it was an expression of her extreme anger. She must have been completely disappointed in me. To my surprise, I ran into Xiao Lin while shopping in a mall. She hesitated for a while, stepped forward to greet me, and then timidly invited me to the cafe upstairs for coffee. I feel that she has something to say. Although the matter is over and I don't want to think about it anymore, but that matter is always a big lump in my heart. If she is willing to tell me the truth, I think I have no reason to refuse. The cafe was filled with a strong aroma of coffee. I looked at Xiao Lin in front of me. He was indeed young. Even if he looked lonely, the brilliance of youth could not be concealed. I asked her kindly: "What do you want to tell me?" "Do you believe that is true?" Kobayashi asked weakly. I pondered for a moment, then smiled, "I started to believe it, but now I don't believe it." "why?" "If it was true, you wouldn't have the guts to buy me coffee." Xiao Lin's eyes turned red in an instant, and he choked up and said, "I'm sorry, I should have explained it to you earlier." I looked at her, didn't speak, and waited for her to continue. The little girl was obviously holding back her tears, she lowered her head, not daring to look directly at me, she spoke in a low voice, "I really like him, I have liked him for a long time...I want to be with him even in my dreams, I know that I have no hope, but I just can't let go, and then I thought that since I can't get him, then let me stay by his side, take care of him, share the pressure of work for him, and watch him from a distance. Now he doesn't even give me this chance." At this point, Xiao Lin's emotions became agitated, tears welled up in his eyes, and his thin shoulders trembled slightly, "That day...that day I slept with him...I didn't On purpose. He drank too much that day. I stayed in his apartment to take care of him. Watching him sleep on the bed, I couldn't help but lay next to him. I didn't do anything to him, and neither did he What do I do, but he just refuses to forgive me... I really didn't mean to..." I stared blankly at Xiao Lin, speechless for a while. Xiao Lin covered her face and kept crying. I suddenly felt very unbearable. She should be about the same age as my younger sister. It is really cruel to experience this at such a young age. "I'm sorry..." She repeated this sentence over and over again. I shook my head and sighed, "Don't think about it anymore, it's all over, you are so young, there is still a long way to go. You are an outsider from the beginning, you shouldn't get involved, feelings are not a one-man show, You have to be happy with each other, you should take it as a lesson, live well, and you will definitely meet someone who truly loves you." When the lights came on, I wandered back to the apartment alone.I don't know how to persuade Xiaolin, but I just want her to forget that time will always dilute everything.But when I said this, I didn't have any confidence at all, because I know that time can't alleviate some hurts, and time can't make us forget those people who are really unforgettable.In the end, everything is empty, only my heart-wrenching grief is real, and in the dead of night, I can only be tortured by the pain that is darker than the abyss until dawn. The stalemate between me and Geng Mochi continued. After he was discharged from the hospital, he lived in seclusion and stayed at home most of the time, and he never explained to me when he went out occasionally.As for who he went to meet, I have no right to ask.We are like strangers living in a room, a huge space, so cold to breathe.The last time I took care of him in Shanghai, although there was a cold war, at least we communicated, but this time we didn’t even have to talk. Sometimes he came back late after socializing, and I waited for him in the living room. When he came in, he didn’t even look at me. Just went straight upstairs to take a shower.The terrible silence tore at my dying will like a nightmare, and I didn't know how long I could last. One day, he brought a guest back from outside. To his surprise, it turned out to be Milan.Of course I was very happy to see Milan, and I was busy entertaining her, but Milan didn't seem to be very keen on reminiscing with me. Instead, she talked and laughed with Geng Mochi, and the two chatted in the roof garden on the roof for an afternoon.I wonder when they became so familiar, I remember they didn't have much intersection before.According to Jin Yi, Geng Mochi ran to Xingcheng on the night of New Year's Eve, and went to Xiangya Hospital for treatment when he became ill. He happened to meet Milan who was visiting the patient. A relative of Milan seemed to be the person in charge of the hospital. Xia Geng Mochi received good care from the hospital. Later, Geng Mochi's condition deteriorated, and Milan even sent Geng Mochi to the plane all the time, which made Jin Yi very grateful for a while. "Miss Milan came to Shanghai to visit Mochi several times later." If Jinyi hadn't told me personally, I would not have known that Milan had visited Geng Mochi four times before I came to Shanghai. I thought it was just that year ago Once, she quit her job when she went back that time.After Geng Mochi fell ill again, she came to Shanghai many times. Why did I never hear about it from Milan himself? I was a little embarrassed, and I could understand her kind reminder from Jin Yi's expression that hesitated to speak.Jinyi is not a person who likes to talk about right and wrong. I understand her worry in my heart, but I don't want to think about it.Milan is my best friend. Although our relationship is not as good as before, it is because of this that I have to be more careful, not to ruin the friendship of more than ten years because of my small belly. In the evening, Geng Mochi and Milan came down from the rooftop, and I smiled and asked Milan: "What do you want to eat, I'll make it for you, it's rare for you to come here." "Oh, no, Mochi said to take me out to eat." Milan replied with a smile. My smile froze, but I nodded and pulled off my apron, "Okay, I'm going to change now." Geng Mochi stared at me unexpectedly, it was those two eyes that made me feel chills in my heart, his meaning could not be more clear, he was only going to take Milan out to eat, not me. Milan stood at the stairs, not speaking, but still maintaining a decent smile. I lowered my head in embarrassment, and said in a disguise: "Mochi, I'll get you a coat. You guys are having fun, so I won't go." Then I turned and went into the bedroom to get him a suit jacket, and handed it to him hand.He took the coat and said nothing, patted Milan on the shoulder, the two looked at each other and smiled, and walked out side by side. Because the room was too empty, the muffled sound when the door was closed made me unable to recover for a long time. I just feel weak, this moment. It was eleven o'clock in the evening when Geng Mochi came back.I was in a hurry to put the bath water for him, but he suddenly appeared behind me when he was clearly in the bedroom, which startled me. He stared at me like that again, making me shrink back instinctively. "Ink pool, the water is ready." I whispered. "Actually, you don't have to do these things. I don't need a servant." He said suddenly, his eyes staring so hard that I had nowhere to hide, "Although you killed our child, I am also responsible for this matter. I can't blame you. You, why do you always act low in front of me? This is not like you, I said it last time when you were in Shanghai, I don't like you like this. " I was stunned, "Who told you that I killed the child?" "I don't want to talk about this topic anymore! Is it true that the child you killed is gone? In fact, it is no better, because my heart disease is hereditary. I am the father who inherited me. I don't want my next generation Suffering from illness like me. I have had enough and lived enough, but I still owe you in the end, so I am thinking about how to make it up." He said these words seriously, as if he had thought about it for a long time. I was anxious, and grabbed his sleeve, "Mochi, why did you tell me these things? I am the one who is sorry for you, and I should make up for it. So no matter how I treat you, I am willing..." "Really?" His eyes were as deep as the sea, and a trace of trance flashed across his eyes, and he slowly raised his hand to stroke my cheek, "You are good enough to me, and I should be good to you too. It's just that I am suffering from illness I can't bear to leave you alone in this world. I often think that if I die, will you still remember me? Could it be that I just closed the door a second ago? Yan, you hooked up with another man in the next second, you will forget me as quickly as you forgot Qi Shujie, will you do this?" "No, Mochi, how can you think like that? I'm not the kind of person you said! I love you. The biggest difference between you and Qi Shujie is that I love you!" "you love Me?" "Yes, I love you!" I leaned on his chest and hugged him tightly, "Mochi, let's never separate again, no matter what happens, let's not separate, okay?" He put his arms around my shoulders, rubbed my ears lightly with his fingers, and suddenly said in a distant voice, "But I'm going to die after all. Doctor Tang has explained to me that even if I maintain the best condition, it's just another Live for three to five years, just three to five years, Kao’er! So, while I’m still alive, I will try my best to make up for you and fulfill all the promises I made to you, so that even if I die, you will Thinking about my kindness to you, no matter which man you will be with in the future, you must remember me..." What Geng Mochi said to fulfill the promise is to give me a wedding, he wants to hold a wedding with me!And I can't refuse, he has even set a date, which is set on April 1st. "April Fool's Day?" "This day is easy to remember." It was in a restaurant on the Bund at the time, and he handed me a diamond ring and flowers, perhaps because of the lighting, his smile seemed a bit blurred, "Look, is it formal enough?" I took out the diamond ring from the small velvet brocade box and shook it lightly against the light until I couldn’t open my eyes. "It’s so big, you are too rich." I can’t imagine such a big diamond ring What does it feel like to wear it.Geng Mochi said: "Try it on and see if the size fits you." Then, he took my hand and put the ring on me himself, then raised my hand and nodded appreciatively, "Well, Not bad, just the right size." "But you are busy with getting married right after you get out of the hospital, isn't it good?" I still hesitated. "We leave all the wedding affairs to the wedding company, and we don't need to worry about it." He said lightly, and asked me again, "Do you want to hold the wedding in Star City, or in Shanghai?" "Of course it's Xingcheng. My acquaintances and friends are all there, and it's also close to my home." I turned the diamond ring between my fingers, and it felt too heavy, and it was a little bit cold in my hand.To be honest, I can’t say how much I like it. It may be that I seldom wear jewelry and have never loved this kind of things.But it's a wedding ring, and I'll have to develop a liking for it.And now my biggest headache is how to tell my family, with the old man's violent temper, will he accept me to marry Geng Mochi? Geng Mochi gave me an idea: "You can cut it first and then play it. The raw rice is cooked, and they have to admit it if they don't." I stared at him and said, "My parents are your future father-in-law and mother-in-law. a dear?" "Okay, just tell me what dowry you want, and I'll arrange it." Geng Mochi readily agreed.I wondered if he has been following me too much lately. He used to like to argue with me the most. Now why does he agree to everything I say?I was suddenly very uneasy, but I couldn't explain where this uneasiness came from. Talking about this to Jin Yi that day, she comforted me: "You have a premarital phobia, you worry about gains and losses even though happiness is right in front of you, it's normal, it will be fine once you get married." Jinyi was the first person I told about the marriage news. She was the first person to express her blessings to me. It was the kind of heartfelt and sincere blessing, "You will be happy, I believe." I gave Jinyi a deep hug, "Thank you, Jinyi. I promise you, I will give him happiness!" Saying this, I suddenly cried, and boundless sadness welled up in my heart, although I did not Don't know why I'm sad. After that, I reported the marriage news to Yingzhi and Aqing one after another. They were all very happy for me. Milan obviously knew about it. Be loved by God." I am silent, I know that Milan and I can’t go back to the past, but I never gave up trying, I always feel that it’s a pity that the friendship of more than ten years fades away like this, so I know that she has long been estranged from me I still spared no effort to invite her to be my bridesmaid, and Milan reluctantly agreed, but at least she agreed, on the condition that "I don't care about the dress".I hurriedly said, "No problem. The dresses are all designed by famous Hong Kong teachers from Mochi. You just need to take the time to measure the size. There will also be gifts." "Pull it down, who cares about your gift." "Ouch, Milan, you know what I want most is your blessing." "Am I so important to you?" "Of course, our friendship for more than ten years." Milan thought for a while and sighed, "Why is there such a big gap between people? Kao'er, I think I can't lose to you, whether it's appearance or other things, but my situation has always been inferior to yours. I still can't figure out why, what I dream of, you always get it inadvertently. Kaoer, I'm so jealous of you." Milan did not say blessings to me from the beginning to the end, I was somewhat disappointed, but then I comforted myself that Geng Mochi and I were not favored from the very beginning, even though we are about to get married now, I am afraid we still won’t get too many blessings , including my parents.When he heard that I was going to marry Geng Mochi, the old man became furious on the phone, and hung up before I finished speaking. Qi Shuli called me when he heard about my marriage. He said to me without a word of politeness, "Kao'er, why did you marry someone who hurt you deeply? Do you think he can give you happiness?" ?” "Except for him, no one in this world can give me happiness!" "If you insist on saying that, I can't help it. I know that no one can stop you from choosing this path, but I will not bless you. I still say the same thing. Geng Mochi can't give you happiness, he can only give you happiness." Bring disaster! He is the disaster star in your life!" After speaking, Qi Shuli also hung up the phone, leaving no room for me to fight back. I know that Qi Shuli is really angry, but I don't care if he is angry or not, and it doesn't matter if he doesn't get blessings, anyway, we are meant to be together, and no one can separate us except death. Of course, I didn't tell Geng Mochi about the phone call with Qi Shuli, I only told him about my invitation to Milan to be a bridesmaid.Geng Mochi was about to catch up with a social event at that time. He came out of the dressing room and walked straight to the floor-to-ceiling window of the bedroom. Against the light, his white shirt perfectly complemented his handsome figure. He buttoned his cuff buttons while listening to me, Jade The cufflinks look especially exquisite in the sun. I've never seen someone look so good in a white shirt, with a clean and cold demeanor. "Milan is your bridesmaid?" Geng Mochi turned around, narrowing his eyes slightly. At that moment, a trance flashed across his deep eyes.He has always been in a daze recently, and he seems to have listened to what was said to him, but it seems that he didn't listen to anything.However, he seemed very satisfied with Milan being the bridesmaid, and nodded again and again, "Yes, you sisters are very affectionate, she is perfect for your bridesmaid, I have no objection." "What about the best man?" "Wei Minglun." Wei Minglun is Geng Mochi's manager, and also one of his best personal friends over the years.Wei Minglun is also a music student. He studied in Japan and played the violin in a national orchestra after returning to China. However, he soon went out on his own and opened a cultural agency. Wei Minglun was in charge of Geng Mochi's performance.I have a good impression of this man, he is very kind and personable, he always smiles whenever I see him, it is really suitable for Geng Mochi to let him be the best man. After the wedding date was set, Geng Mochi and I both returned to Star City and lived in a waterside villa that Geng Mochi bought earlier.According to Geng Mochi, this villa was bought a long time ago, and has been slowly being renovated, and it was only installed a few years ago.It is now used as a wedding room, which is considered to be of great use.The community where the house is located is called "Bi'an Spring". The place is a bit remote, close to the county seat, but the environment is very good. In the community, there are gardens and winding paths, small bridges, flowing water, swimming pools and courts. Everything that represents a beautiful environment and a noble life can be found there. felt. The house that Geng Mochi bought was called Yalan Residence, and the scenery was infinitely beautiful. There was an artificial lake in front of the house, a green field behind it, and gardens on both sides, and different views could be seen from each window. The shape of the house is very simple, two floors, the exterior wall is beautiful brick red, there is a whole wall on the first floor with floor-to-ceiling windows, facing the artificial lake, sitting by the window, the blue waves of the lake outside the window are rippling around, it feels very Cozy.I fell in love with this place the first time I went to see the house, wandering upstairs and downstairs.Needless to say, with Geng Mochi's pickiness, the house is decorated in the utmost luxury, the kitchen is open, and the windows are facing the greenery outside. I imagine that I will be in a good mood when cooking. The layout upstairs is also good. The master bedroom has a large terrace. Standing on the terrace, you can see the lake below. The study is next to the master bedroom. There is also a floor-to-ceiling window with good light. Through the window, you can see the building next door. The house is very close, if you greet your neighbors, there is no problem at all.Oh, by the way, that house is called "Near Water Tower", and there is another house on the opposite side of the lake called "On the Water Side". They all seem to have something to do with water. It can be seen that the designer has put a lot of thought into it. "The property right of this house is your name." Geng Mochi seemed to be casually telling me about this that day.I was surprised, "Why is my name?" "I gave it to you as a wedding present." "Didn't you give me a ring?" "It's different." Geng Mochi didn't want to talk about it. When we were making out in the bedroom on the second floor at night, I felt that inexplicable uneasiness again.I always feel that Geng Mochi is not very involved in the matter of marriage. He never asked about any details. I asked for his opinion, but he never objected. His attitude is that he has no opinion, as if this matter has nothing to do with him. .But he also stated that he must get married, and he refused to change the date, insisting on April 1st. "How can you be so absent-minded when making love?" Geng Mochi pushed me against the head of the bed with all his strength, and I gasped in pain, "Am I... am I absent-minded?" "You're clearly absent-minded." "I'm wondering whether to use white roses or pink roses for the wedding venue." "Please pay attention, we are having sex!" He seemed to be annoyed, and rushed harder.This is also a manifestation of his abnormal mood recently. He tosses and tosses me over and over again, as if he is venting something. Sometimes I worry about his body, and he will be even more annoyed. I can't mention it at all. I became a little afraid of him, and often woke up in the middle of the night, watching him standing on the balcony of the bedroom smoking a cigarette. I was so preoccupied that I didn't know what he was thinking.He is like a mystery, the more I want to see clearly, the farther away he is, he is clearly beside me, I can reach out and touch it, turn over to hug him, but it feels so far away, his eyes are as dark as the night There are often emotions that I can't understand. Especially when he was sitting in a daze in the study, there was an aura of doom on him that made people afraid, cold, and made people dare not approach him.I don't understand where his killing-like aura comes from. Even though we are naked and fiercely entangled on the bed, I feel like there is still a glass cover between me and him. The heart-wrenching soul resonates, we can no longer achieve the unity of mind and soul in the past, maybe his mind and spirit have long been separated, but I am kept in the dark... To my surprise, Qi Shuli actually came to visit, carrying a big basket of fruit, and his attitude was very sincere, saying sorry on the left and sorry on the right, of course I have to be magnanimous and show that I don't care. But I could see that Qi Shuli obviously had something to say, and he went around trying to get to the point, but I just didn't answer.There was a real estate catalog of Yalanju on the sofa, Qi Shuli accidentally spotted it, picked it up and casually flipped through it, "Have you bought a house yet?" "yes." "This neighborhood is not bad, but Geng Mochi is quite discerning." "He's always had a good eye, an artist." Qi Shuli then laughed, he put the album down, and looked at me seriously, "Kaoer, I know that nothing I say can change your decision now, after all, this is a major event in your own life, and you have the right to choose who you spend it with Yu Sheng, from the bottom of my heart, of course I hope you will be happy, and I can't say anything wrong with Geng Mochi even now, this will only make you unhappy, right?" "Since you know everything, what are you talking about!" "Listen to me, I mean I can only bless you now, but I won't bless him, because I still don't think your happiness can be given by him. No matter what grievances you suffer after marrying him, I am your strong backing, whenever you need me, I will stand behind you and protect you as soon as possible!" I was annoyed, "Listen to you, it seems like you are waiting for me to break up with him?" "You can't talk like that." "That's what you mean!" "Kao'er, at this time, it would be hypocritical and meaningless for me to say what I said on those occasions. I don't think much of you at all, so why would I say something against my will?" I sneered, "Because I made Qi Shujie feel ashamed by being with him, right?" Qi Shuli was slightly startled, then laughed again, his eyes became deep, and he hesitated for a moment, "It's good that you know, but it's not the key to me, I don't want to wish that you don't have much to do with my brother, at least for now That's right, I can't accept this completely out of a man's standpoint." "The man's position?" "Yes, now I prefer to be an ordinary man who admires you, rather than your elder brother. I admit that I am jealous of Geng Mochi, and I am jealous of him, so I am very unhappy that you choose him." Qi Shuli said to himself He also froze for a moment, looked at me, held his breath and continued, "Kao'er, to be honest, I didn't expect that I would fall in love with you. I haven't really liked someone for a long time, so even if You are not happy, and I will not hide this feeling. Now that you are not officially married to him, I am still qualified to confess. Yes, this is my official confession to you. I am very happy that I finally have the courage to say it... ..." I stared at him with wide eyes, admiring myself for not being furious.I raised my hand to stop him from continuing and said, "I have seen shameless ones, but I have never seen such shameless ones like you. You can go now." "You haven't invited me to the wedding yet." The guy wanted to be shameless to the end. I just felt my heart pounding, and I almost breathed out, "What, I invited you to the wedding? You are dreaming, I will definitely not invite you!" "Then I'm going even more." Qi Shuli chuckled, got up politely, and said while walking towards the door, "I'll talk to Geng Mochi later, and it's fine for him to invite me." I grabbed a cushion and threw it. Qi Shuli fled long ago, and the door was closed. Fortunately, he ran fast, and he had to stay for one more second. I can't guarantee that I won't go to the kitchen to touch the knife. Although I knew his thoughts about me a long time ago, it was the first time he said it so bluntly. This means that the layer of window paper has been pierced, and it is impossible to pretend to be blind in the future. We all live in the same city and cannot avoid it. This really annoys me. Two nights later, Geng Mochi and I were having dinner at the restaurant. He still seemed preoccupied and not in high spirits. Halfway through the meal, he suddenly said, "Qi Shuli called me today and asked me to invite him to the wedding." I was swallowing a mushroom and nearly choked to death, "What?" "I have already agreed." "..." I was dumbfounded, the mushroom was still stuck in my throat. 耿墨池淡淡地扫我一眼，“不用吃惊，这么重要的时刻我当然希望他见证。” 我咳嗽起来，吃力地咽下蘑菇。我看着他，像忽然不认识他了似的，这男人已经让我越来越陌生。我克制着一触即发的火气，“为什么要他见证？” “因为我想。” 淡淡的一句，冷酷至极。 我能感觉得到，我握着叉子的手在轻微发抖，但我没有再多说什么，因为我知道再多说一句肯定又要吵起来，马上要结婚了，保持好心情很重要。 可是看着耿墨池阴沉的脸，我的心情怎么也好不起来。我又有了那种强烈的不安感，近在咫尺的距离，我却无法触摸他的心。他凝视我时幽暗的眼底看似平静，却能听到一种类似深谷之中激流涌动的声音，我不知道那激流来自何方，带着毁灭一切的力量，眼前我所看到的他就像是幻境，眨眼工夫便会消失。到底是为什么，他为什么让我这么不安？ 谜底终于揭晓，在婚礼这天。 正如我曾经憧憬的一样，整个婚礼都是按我的设想布置的，从酒店门口一直到礼台铺着长长的红地毯，现场白玫瑰和粉玫瑰装点成花的海洋，我跟耿墨池的巨幅照片悬挂在最显眼的角落，现场还特意装上了一个巨大的电子屏，播放着由专业音乐人制作的MV，每个画面都是我们从相识到相恋的甜蜜瞬间。 当米兰跟随着我进入现场时，也被这童话般浪漫华丽的婚礼震慑住，有一瞬她的表情很复杂，附在我耳边说：“你真够高调的。” “这辈子就这一次了。”我巧笑倩兮间，现场响起热烈的掌声。我透过垂下的头纱看到，礼台上站着的正是我的新郎，一身黑色礼服，胸配粉色玫瑰，站在台上恍如站在世界的中央，霎时间光芒万丈。这一刻我再也看不到其他人，我的眼里、心里只有他。 他缓缓走下台，向我走来。 伴郎韦明伦也是风度翩翩，尾随在他身后。 还没到正式仪式，我就哭成了个泪人儿。耿墨池一直微笑着将我迎上礼台，因为灯光太过耀眼，台下一片模糊，我什么都看不清了，只觉掌声中无数张面孔无数双手在不断地重叠，我想是我太紧张了的缘故。 “别哭，要笑。”米兰在旁边小声地提醒我。 司仪在按程序进行仪式，这时候我已经适应了灯光，我本能地在台下宾客中搜索我熟悉的面孔，首先看到的是台里的同事，来了起码有三四桌，阿庆和大毛他们坐的位置离礼台最近，拼命鼓掌。而在她们旁边坐着的是樱之，也在由衷地为我鼓掌。我对她们回报以微笑，朝她们挥挥手。而就在我转过脸看向另一边时，居然看到了祁树礼也赫然在座，西装革履的，坐在那一群人里格外的气宇轩昂，他并没有鼓掌，只是斜睨着我，那样子就像是在看戏。 我马上移开目光，我不想看到他，真没见过这么厚脸皮的！ 这时仪式已经进行到宣誓，司仪问耿墨池：“你愿意娶这位白考儿女士为妻吗？爱她、忠诚于她，无论她贫困、患病或者残疾，直至死亡。你愿意吗？” 耿墨池沉吟片刻，点头，“我愿意。” 司仪转过脸又问我：“白考儿女士，你愿意嫁给这位耿墨池先生为妻吗？爱他、忠诚于他，无论他贫困、患病或者残疾，直至死亡。你愿意吗？” 我想都没想就脱口而出：“我愿意。” 他转过脸跟我深情对视，我也与他对视，四目相对，千言万语尽在不言中。 “瞧瞧这深情的目光，太炽烈了，比一千伏的电压都高。”司仪在旁边笑吟吟地打趣，台下一阵哄笑。我不好意思地低下头，只听到司仪说：“现在请新郎新娘交换戒指，来，礼仪小姐把戒指拿上来。” 漂亮的礼仪小姐端着托盘站到了我跟耿墨池的中间，耿墨池从容不迫地拿过戒指，从容不迫地走向我，一步一步，没有丝毫的犹豫…… 多年后我回忆那一幕，仍是撕心地疼痛。他的确是走向我，却并没有把戒指戴在我手上，而是绕过我径直抬起伴娘米兰的手，不慌不忙地将戒指戴在她的手上。 台下一片哗然，举座皆惊。 而我愣愣地看着他，完全反应不过来，可是他根本看都不朝我看，牵着同样震惊不已的米兰走到正中央的麦克风前，他对着麦克风说：“不好意思，今天是愚人节，给大家开个玩笑，其实我真正要娶的是我身边的这位米兰小姐，我们认识的时间不长，但是我很爱她，希望得到大家的祝福。” 米兰一脸诧异，想笑又没敢笑出来，那样子仿佛凭空被金蛋砸中，惊慌失措中透着巨大的惊喜。她并没有抽出手，当耿墨池侧身拥吻她时她也没有抗拒，甚至只犹豫了两秒就伸出手臂回吻他，一切配合得天衣无缝。 就好像他们事先已经演练了多次似的。 只有我还像个傻子似的站在边上，眼睁睁地看着他们当众拥吻。我对面站着的伴郎韦明伦也显然被惊吓到，站在那里像被施了魔法似的动也不动，当他最终把目光投向我时，眼里满是同情。台下的人也忘了鼓掌，看看我，又看看热吻的两位，不知道这个玩笑到底是不是真的，因为举棋不定所以也不敢贸然鼓掌。 这个“玩笑”太逼真了，逼真到看不出任何破绽。我站在台上只觉头晕，兴许是灯光烤着的缘故，我瞬间就汗流浃背，余光瞟到樱之和阿庆在台下看着我几乎就要哭出来，因为只有她们知道这个婚礼是真的，我是真的想要嫁给这个男人。直到这一刻，我终于明白耿墨池为什么要举行这个婚礼了，他不过是想借这个足以示众的机会羞辱我，让我永生永世不得翻身。 我想我真是大意了，以他睚眦必报的个性，痛失骨肉的他是断不会原谅我的，所以他才选择这种最残忍的方式来报复我。我终于明白他身上那万劫不复的气息是什么了，就像那晚他在床上狠狠地冲撞我的时候，他咬牙切齿地说的那样，“我一定会让这个婚礼成为你这辈子最刻骨铭心的记忆。” 毫无疑问，他做到了。 汗水涔涔地顺着我的背淌下。 眼前的这一对已经结束热吻，男的松开女方，继续对着麦克风发表宣言：“今天我真是很幸福，可以娶到我心仪的女子，很感谢各位今天来参加我的婚礼，同时也谢谢这位白考儿小姐。”他将脸转向我，脸上的笑容足以让我刻骨铭心，我听到他说，“谢谢你的配合。” 他说得很认真，就像他当时跟我求婚一样，一点儿也不像是开玩笑。而他身边的米兰想必已经缓过来了，真的像个甜蜜新娘似的，含情脉脉地看着她的爱郎。我距离她不过一米，她却丝毫的、片刻的同情目光都不屑给我，她一点儿也没有歉意的表示，好似这一切是理所当然。 猜猜最后是如何收场的？答案A：我冲上去甩了耿墨池一耳光，然后气冲冲地拖着婚纱裙奔出现场；答案B：我什么也没说，连眼泪都没掉，就像一个退场的演员般提着裙子黯然退场；答案C：我当众号啕大哭，哭得妆都花了，我一边哭，耿墨池一边若无其事地和新娘在舞池中翩然起舞，当我的哭声是伴奏；答案D：我像什么也没发生一样，走到麦克风前笑着跟宾客说，“谢谢大家的光临，不知道各位对我的表现是否满意，不管怎样，请祝福这两位白头偕老。” ... 生活的喜剧每天都在上演，每时每刻你都有可能成为剧中的主角，生活说到底就是喜剧加闹剧，但喜剧或者闹剧总比悲剧要好，至少我是这么想的。没办法，我从小就有阿Q精神，比如读书的时候每次没考好，我总安慰自己，没关系，还有比我考得更差的；成年后每每遇到挫折，我也总是找各种理由给自己打气，没什么大不了的，睡一觉明天太阳照常升起，郝思嘉都说过，明天又是新的一天。那么这次呢？我该如何给自己台阶下？ 事实是，我还没来得及想好如何下台阶，就有人上台来拉我下台阶了。我做梦都没想到祁树礼那时候会上来，他众目睽睽之下走到我身边，牵起我的手走到麦克风边，笑吟吟地说：“刚刚耿先生说今天是愚人节的玩笑，没错，这的确是个玩笑，耿先生真正想娶的是米兰小姐，而白考儿小姐要嫁的是我，我才是她的新郎！” 台下又是一片哗然。 耿墨池、米兰和韦明伦，还有司仪全都愣愣地看着祁树礼，生活果然没有最惊喜，只有更惊喜。我不过用了数秒就反应过来，祁树礼是来给我救场的！我毫不犹豫地踮起脚贴上他的唇，他也默契十足地回吻我，陌生的吻，陌生的人，陌生的空气，一切都是陌生的，我也不知道我当时如何还能那么镇定地配合着祁树礼演戏，因为太突然了，事先没有经过任何的编排，我完全是出于本能一样被他带着入了戏，那一刻我身不由己。 这或许说明，我们天生都是好演员。 那么结局可想而知，不是上述四项选择中的任何一项，真实的收场是，祁树礼将我打横抱起，一直抱下台，在众人的掌声中抱出了婚礼现场。 我清楚地记得，经过樱之她们那桌时，樱之和阿庆都傻眼了，面面相觑，搞不清到底是怎么回事，我却没心没肺地回报她们以微笑。 祁树礼也微笑着向所有宾客致意，这个家伙，比我还会演戏。 祁树礼的黑色奔驰就停在酒店广场的贵宾位，他将我抱上副驾座，关上车门后，他转过脸看着我，莞尔一笑，“你现在可以哭了。” 灯光璀璨的舞台，落幕后是曲终人散的寂寥和黑暗，卸下妆的面孔，是掩饰不住的凄凉和苍白。人生如戏，戏如人生，我们演绎到最后常常分不清谁在戏里，谁在旁观。入戏太深，出戏太慢，于是就有了戏外的迷惘和疼痛。 好在这些年，我一路就是在疼痛中走过来的，揪心断肠撕心裂肺的痛楚不是没有过，而是太多太多，痛过之后的疲惫往往比痛楚本身更难受，那感觉就像是被掏空了一样，整个人都是虚的，缥缥缈缈，半夜梦回常常分不清自己身处何地。 可是即便再痛，还是要生存，要活着，要呼吸，虽然最痛的时候恨不得自己没了呼吸，但总还保持着最后一点儿理智，让自己不至于被绝望吞噬活下去的勇气。 最灰暗的那几天，我整日地站在自家阳台，望着灰蒙蒙的天空，真想跳出阳台，不是往下跳，而是往上跳，那浩瀚无际的天空外一定是另一个世界，没有忧伤、没有怨恨、没有纷争的世界。不知道为什么，我经常会想到那个还没成形就夭折的孩子，他（她）应该就在那个世界，他（她）一定变成了一个天使，挥着洁白的翅膀，看着我甜甜地笑。 后来我才知道，正是米兰跟耿墨池谎称是我自己做掉了孩子，耿墨池才如此决然地选择在愚人节办婚礼来报复我，因为我出事那天是米兰送我去医院的，樱之是在手术后才赶到，我不知道米兰趁我昏迷时胡乱编排了什么，连樱之都以为是我自己做掉的孩子，更何况是耿墨池！而我又以为他们都知道实情，所以从未解释。没想到我竟然被最好的朋友算计了。 难怪之前米兰频繁地去上海看望耿墨池，原来她早就起心了，耿墨池也一定察觉了米兰的心思，所以他才十拿九稳地在婚礼上利用了米兰。他们暗度陈仓，我却蒙在鼓里，最后在婚礼上给了我致命的一击，而我连恨都没力气了，祁树杰跟叶莎的事才过去三年，我又重蹈覆辙！ 半夜梦醒，我常常无故听到婴儿的啼哭，细听又仿佛是风声，于是失眠的恶疾卷土重来，我整夜整夜地睡不着，不得不借助药片。 那天我又站在阳台上张望天空，祁树礼来了，他在楼下停好车，一抬头就看到了在阳台上生了根的我。“考儿，下来吧，我请你喝咖啡。”他在楼下喊。 我冷冷地看着他，没反应。 “下来吧，你这个样子很让我担心，出来透透气你会感觉好些的。” I'm still unmoved.祁树礼不放弃，跑到楼上来按门铃。当时正是午休时间，我怕吵着邻居，只好去开门，跟他去了附近的一家咖啡馆。 在家里宅久了，突然置身阳光明媚人潮涌动的街头会有些不适应，咖啡厅里倒是很安静。祁树礼选了个靠窗的位子，阳光透过身边的落地窗照在铺着绿格子桌布的橡木桌上，咖啡杯上的艳丽图案因为有了阳光的照射变得越发生动起来，金属小勺子搅动杯子发出的清脆声也很悦耳。我点的是卡布奇诺咖啡，滚烫的咖啡浓香让我冰冷的血液渐渐回暖。 “你瘦多了，考儿。”祁树礼看着我，他点的是最苦的黑咖啡，没有放糖。 “你今天怎么有空过来了？”我转移话题，太久没有说话，发现声音整个都是嘶哑的，把自己都吓一跳。我本能地抚着喉部，有些担心这样的嗓子能否继续在电台做节目，我已经好些天没去电台上班了，一直在家休病假。 “你嗓子怎么了？”祁树礼也发觉了我嗓音的异常。 “没事，这几天有点儿感冒。”我掩饰地低下头，小心地搅着杯中的咖啡，热气瞬间蒙住了我的眼珠，眼前模糊一片，什么都看不清。 祁树礼放下杯子，轻叹，“考儿，都过去了，就不要再想了。你未来的路还很长，人总要向前看才对。” “我没事。”我淡淡地一笑，若有所思，“反正事情已经这样了，我能怎么办呢？我不能像很多年前我喜欢的张国荣一样，从楼上纵身一跃一了百了吧？” 祁树礼一脸懵懂，推了推眼镜，“张国荣？” “嗯，2003年的4月1日他在香港跳楼，我难过了很久，这些天我老在想，我要是从楼上跳下去会如何？不想还好，一想就更难过了，因为我不是张国荣，我就算摔得粉身碎骨也不会有人知道，除了亲人，不会有人为我掉一滴眼泪。” “考儿！”祁树礼呵斥。 “所以我放弃这个念头了，那两个人没死，我怎么能就这么死掉呢？”我呵呵一笑，“他想看我的戏，我现在倒想看他的戏了。他根本就不爱米兰，米兰也不是他的菜，我看他怎么收场！” 祁树礼瞅着我直摇头，试图转移话题，“考儿，回家吧，你应该有很长时间没回家了。回去好好休息，让伯母给你补补身体，你看你都瘦成什么样了！” “我还有脸回家吗？”我根本连电话都不敢打，虽然婚礼是在星城举行，可耿墨池是上门提了亲的。虽然我爸自始至终没有表态同意，但也没有当面拒绝，想来他也知道耿墨池是有身份的人，他不想场面太难堪。只是耿墨池表面上客气谦卑，可是架子仍是大得离谱，那日在我家坐了不到半个小时就抬脚走人，连我妈泡的茶都没喝一口，我爸当时就翻脸，撂下一句话，“你要嫁就嫁，我管不了，只要别到时候丢我的脸就是！” 结果，我何止丢了爹妈的脸，我把祖宗十八代的脸都丢光了。我爸虽然没参加婚礼，但丑事传千里，爸妈第一时间就知道了，听我妈说，老爸气得把桌子都掀了。 “考儿，有些事情总要去面对的，逃避不是办法。”祁树礼很细心地观察着我的神色，“要不，我陪你回家一趟？” 我没好气地说：“干吗要你陪啊？” “我们不是……” “那是演戏好不好？谢谢你那天帮我下台阶，说实话我很感激你。但我跟你没可能的，你趁早打消这个念头！”我一点儿余地都不留。 祁树礼于是又叹气，“考儿，虽然我跟你表白过，但如果你把我对你的关怀理解成乘虚而入，你未免把我想得太小人了，至少目前这种状况下我只是想对你表达我的关怀，你可以视而不见，但请不要拒绝，我并无恶意。考儿，多一个关心你的人，有什么不好呢？” “我这个样子还值得别人关怀吗？” “你这是什么话？”祁树礼皱了皱眉，“你做错了什么吗？你不过是爱错了人，于是就被他这样羞辱。你知道吗，当时我在台下看到他把戒指戴到米兰手上，我真想上去揍他一顿！我早看出他对你的居心，他不是真心爱你，你们之间有那么多复杂的事情，他怎么可能对你付出真感情！” 我心下钝痛，“别提他了好吗？” “好好，我不提。考儿，我相信你不是一个软弱的人，你不会这么容易被打垮，好好活下去才是对他最大的反击，你要让他知道没有他你照样活得精彩，你明白吗？” 我看着他没吱声，心下不得不承认这家伙真会安慰人，虽然说的比唱的还好听，但我好像还真没那么难过了。我笑笑，端起咖啡，“谢谢你，我没有觉得自己活不下去，他对我还没重要到这份上，我只是很难过，我最好的朋友跟着他一起背叛我……” “这样的朋友就算了吧。” “可她每天都在微博上晒幸福呢，我亲手布置的婚房成了她炫耀的资本，你觉得我能淡定吗？”我没好气地蹾了下杯子。 一说到这事我就来气，我原想着米兰是逢场作戏吧，我也就不跟她计较了，哪知道她当真了，婚礼后就死皮赖脸地搬进了雅兰居，我存放在别墅的私人物品她打包收拾后让樱之交给我，樱之气个半死，还跟她吵了一架。可是米兰根本无所谓，现在以耿太太自居到处显摆招摇，工作也不找了，没事就在家晒微博，从早到晚各种晒，洗个泡泡浴也要晒，在花园里晒会儿太阳也要晒，她知道我一定看得到，她故意的！所以我才这么气！ 祁树礼瞅了我一会儿，推推眼镜，很谦虚地问：“微博是个……什么东西？” 我愣住，像看外星人一样地瞅着他，连微博都不知道，他还是地球人么？不过转念一想，霸道总裁日理万机应该很少有时间上网，不知道也不为怪，于是我耐心地跟他解释，“哦，就跟你们美国那边的脸书差不多，也是一种社交网络，我们中国人普遍用这个。” “Facebook？” “Yes！”谢天谢地，他还知道Facebook。 这位先生想了下，果断建议，“那她晒，你也可以晒啊。” 我瞪着他，“我能晒什么？” “她晒什么你就晒什么。” "Ok?" “回头我也注册个微……那什么东西，你加我，我帮你一起晒。” "..." 我以为祁树礼只是随便说说，没想到晚上我登录微博，果然见有陌生人加我关注。他可能怕我不认得他，不仅放他的照片当头像，还给我发了条私信，“考儿，加我！我是Frank！” 好吧，看在他这么热心的分上我关注了他。 后边的情形就开始失控了，这位先生把我所有近期发的微博都转发一遍，然后顺带再评论两句，他中文不大好，评论时多用英文，洋范儿十足。 慢慢地，他开始把微博用得得心应手了，学会了怎么艾特，怎么发照片，怎么在限定的字数里把要说的话说完，后来我听他说，都是他的秘书教他的。 最让我肝儿颤的是，在祁树礼微博里仅有的几个关注对象里，耿墨池赫然在列！耿墨池的微博还是我在上海时帮他注册的，他并不常用，一个月都难得发条微博，而且鲜有文字，大部分是照片什么的，耿墨池关注的名单里只有我和他的经纪人韦明伦。 好吧，笑话来了，某天我无意中点进耿墨池的微博，发现他关注的人里多了一个祁树礼，换句话说，这两男人相互关注了。我当时就魔怔了，什么情况这是？ 我再点进祁树礼的微博，好家伙，这位先生隔三岔五的就发条微博，艾特下耿墨池，比如：“我早上路过考考的楼下，看到很新鲜的百合，就买了一束给她。考考很喜欢，她拿着花的样子让我感觉到很幸福。”先解释下，“考考”是祁树礼一时兴起给我取的昵称，我让他别这么肉麻，他说这样方便晒…… 耿墨池对此没有任何回复，他的微博最后一条更新是在婚礼前，此后再无动静。我跟祁树礼说耿墨池不怎么上微博的，他看不到，叫他别晒了。 祁树礼回我：“晒，必须晒，他一定看得到，否则他不会关注我！” 我败给他了！不止这，祁树礼有时还会评论下米兰的微博，当然都没什么好话。有一次米兰晒她新买的蒂芙尼钻石项链，祁树礼在她微博下用英文评论道：“女人的美不是来自钻石，而是心灵，如果内心不够纯粹，就是浑身贴满钻石也是个低档货。” 我英文不好，只知道大意是这样。我必须承认，我看后十分爽！没过多久，祁树礼就问我，为什么他在米兰的微博里不能发言了，我大笑，“她把你拉黑了！哈哈哈……” 某天晚上，耿墨池终于更新了微博，是张朦胧的月亮的照片，没有文字。我仔细辨认照片，不像是雅兰居拍的，像是在他上海的宅子墨园拍的！ 耿墨池回上海了？米兰早上都还在雅兰居晒微博，他们没住在一起？ 第二天早上，我醒来在床上用手机登录微博，发现祁树礼在耿墨池发的那条微博下留有评论，“昨晚我在考考家楼下散步，看到的月亮比这要清楚！” 我窝在被子里笑了半天，马上回复祁树礼：“下次你来我家的阳台上看，可以看得更清楚！” 发完微博我神清气爽，心情好得不行，洗脸的时候照镜子，发现困扰我许久的黑眼圈也淡了许