Chapter 2 Chapter One

His eyebrows, his eyes, and his lips conveyed a message to me very vaguely and clearly, my life will be rewritten for this man... It was autumn at that time, October. The Furong Hotel is still gorgeous, the music in the western restaurant is lingering, and the exquisite lighting decoration is just right, the lighting is not very bright, but it is luxurious.I made an appointment with Milan and Li Yingzhi for dinner. I can’t remember how many times I ate here. Anyway, we are regular customers here. Usually, anyone who has any happy event or unresolved sorrow will come here. Sometimes it’s for dinner, Sometimes it's drinking coffee, and every time, no matter how worried you are before you come, just make a few jokes, and soon it will be laughter.When the three women get together, it's hard not to be lively.

But this time, we haven't seen each other for more than three months. Everyone should have a lot to say, but apart from the silence, there is only the sound of the collision of each other's tableware. To be precise, it is the collision of my tableware, because from the beginning to the end, I was the only one People are eating.Milan and Li Yingzhi looked at each other, watching me wolfing down the knife and fork, not knowing what happened.They think that at this moment, I should lie on the bed sadly and wait for someone to comfort me, or at least I should not eat, and the pain is so heartbreaking.My abnormal estimate made the two of them a little scared.

This day was exactly ninety-three days away from Qi Shujie's incident. "Are you okay?" Milan asked cautiously. "It's okay, what can I do?" I said calmly, chewing my mouthful of food. "Really all right?" Li Yingzhi also asked. This made me feel funny. Although I was depressed, I still lived a good life on the outside. I didn’t cry, I didn’t make trouble, and I didn’t hang myself. According to outsiders, I was living a nourishing life.During the National Day holiday, I didn't go out much. I cleaned the house by myself and threw all the things belonging to Qi Shujie into the storage room.Then locked it with a big lock, and the past was locked into a dark corner by me full of hatred.Then I started to change the furniture, including the sheets on the bed, curtains, bonsai, and all kinds of decorations. I changed everything that could be changed, so that when Milan and Li Yingzhi came to find me, they thought they had gone to the wrong room.They looked at me who was so busy that I couldn't breathe. I didn't recover for a long time.I was very happy to see the two old classmates. I immediately dragged them to the hotel and ordered a large table of dishes.

"Don't look at me like that, don't worry, I won't commit suicide, I won't be so stupid as to go to the funeral for the husband who betrayed me, just look at me, I will live better than ever .” I said with a smile.This is the truth. "It's good that you can think so, and we can rest assured." Li Yingzhi held my hand and said, "If you feel sad, we will often come to accompany you. My husband went to Shanghai to study, and Dandan also sent him Grandma's house, I have time." She got married a year earlier than me, her children are four years old, and she lives happily.Milan is not married, works in a magazine, and has always been very happy. She is very good in everything, but she is too sensitive to money. Qi Shujie left you a large sum of money in his will, do you want it?"

I was taken aback, and looked up at her coldly, "Do you think I will want it?" "Why not? You deserve it!" When Milan heard that I didn't ask for the money, he immediately became very emotional. "No, I don't want his money! If I want it, I will accept his compensation. Can money be used to compensate for the harm he has done to me?" I suddenly raised my voice, screamed with my eyes wide open, and knocked excitedly. The table said, "No, no, I will not let his schemes succeed, I will make him sleepless even in heaven, I want his heart to be troubled by what he has done in the grave, I want him In the next life, you will pay me back like a cow or a horse, and you will pay it back double!"

Milan looked at me in surprise, like looking at a monster. "Haven't you heard of it? You can't owe a debt when you die. I can't ask him for it, and God will ask him for it. He can't ask for it from him, and he can't ask for it from his relatives. He can pay it back from his relatives." I can't ask for it, hehe..." I sneered, "Don't worry, God will chase after him to ask for it in the next life, he can escape this life, but not the next life!" After I finished speaking, I stuffed a large piece of steak into my mouth, chewed it hard, and looked determined.

Yeah, at first I thought I wouldn't be able to survive, but I survived.Although I am not reconciled, but I will not be defeated by Qi Shujie, I go to work as usual during the day, and fall asleep when I get home after the show at night, and it is already dawn when I open my eyes, so I pack up and go to work again.This went on and on again and again, day by day, I actually lived very peacefully, doing what I should do, eating, sleeping, shopping and doing beauty treatment.Whenever I bring home a large bag or come out of the beauty salon with a radiant face, the neighbors always look at me with strange eyes and talk a lot, "Look, what kind of couple is this? God, just..." I understand the implication of the words, not only is the wife not sad when her husband dies, but she is more energetic than before, and she seems to be irresponsible.

If Qi Shujie knew about it, he would probably jump out of the urn in anger.But so what, he went to hell with other women to seek pleasure, why should I keep the festival for him? "Kaoer..." Milan looked at me worriedly, looking very scared.She knew that at this time, I was like a powder keg full of explosives, untouchable, and would explode as soon as I touched it.The hatred in my heart is enough to destroy the whole world, what I just said is a curse, and it is not only Qi Shujie who is cursed! "Do you know, Kao'er," Milan tried to change the subject, "Qi Shujie's brother hasn't been contacted yet, and I've started all the relationships but still haven't heard from him, and I don't know if he's still in this world..."

"I have nothing to do with Qi Shujie, I don't want to hear any more about him!" I interrupted her, and put down the knife and fork in my hand heavily, and the metal made a screeching sound immediately when it hit the plate. Qi Shujie does have an elder brother, but this elder brother ran away from home more than ten years ago and went abroad, and rarely contacted his family. Anyway, I have never met him. Counting that there has been no news for four years, no one knows where he is wandering in the world. Now that Qi Shujie was dead, some relatives reminded Qi's mother to contact her son abroad as soon as possible, no matter what the previous festivals were, after all, he was the only blood of the Qi family.Mother Qi accepted, even though she had been very reluctant to mention the rebellious and unfilial son for many years.But half a month has passed, and there is no news at all. As Milan said, he doesn't know if he is still in this world (Milan is at the magazine office, and she is responsible for finding someone).I originally had some sympathy for the old lady, but the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been very tense. After Qi Shujie's death, instead of thinking that her daughter-in-law was wronged, she thought that it was because her daughter-in-law treated her son badly that caused him to find a new love and finally died. Undoubtedly, the already unsustainable relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is even worse.Even if I finally gave up the right to inherit the inheritance, the old lady did not change her usual coldness, she didn't even call for greetings, as if I should do all this, and I am dead or alive to their Qi family It's irrelevant.

"Forget about the past, don't make yourself too miserable, it won't be worth it." Milan tried his best to persuade me.Yingzhi also helped to speak: "Yes, Kao'er, let the past pass." "The past is already in the past, but it won't just be forgotten..." "Kao'er, your appearance makes us very worried!" "Don't worry about me, Milan, you just need to tell me," I suddenly raised my face, and said cruelly like crazy, "Where is there a cemetery, I will bury him, deeply and forever Under the ground..." Saying this, it means that everything is over, all vows to hell, people's hearts are so sinister, it is inevitable that Lao Yan will go his own way, and since he chose to leave in this way, I don't think there is any need to complain.Still the same sentence, I swear I will forget him as quickly as possible!

A week later, I found Changqing Cemetery through the introduction of Milan. The environment is very good, surrounded by mountains and rivers, large green pines and cypresses surround the cemetery, the endless grassland stretches and undulates among the hills, pink and white and golden wild chrysanthemums are scattered among the grasslands, and the mountain wind blows Come on, there is a faint fragrance of chrysanthemums in the air, which seems to evoke some memories of my past... But it's so strange, I can't remember anything about the past, the past is actually lighter than the mountain wind, and after shaking in the bottom of my heart, I can't find any traces worth remembering, I suddenly found that the ten thousand things I lived in the past The year was a blank.I can’t think of any meaningful things I’ve done in the past ten years: When I was in middle school, I fell in love with a boy. In my memory, he always wore a white shirt, had a shy smile, and had excellent grades. Many girls liked him He, I don’t know why he just looked at me differently. At that time, I was a well-known younger sister in the school, and my grades were poor. Maybe it was a scumbag student like me who made him feel “interesting” and often tutored me in the questions. Boys and girls are in love for the first time, hazy and sweet, we slowly started to have some signs, who knows that the good times will not last long, the boy drowned and died in an outing, watching him being nailed into the coffin at the funeral, I screamed and became Depressed. My tragic personality came down around that time. On the surface I dismissed everything, but inside I was fragile and sensitive. Later, when I went to university, I was always sick for a while, and became thinner sister Lin. The man who loved me often pitied me Call me "sick cat", that man is my teacher.This teacher-student relationship made both sides miserable, and now that I think about it, it makes no sense. Instead, it made me afraid of being loved from now on, because the people who love me seem to end up badly. What a pity, my later husband, Qi Shujie, also loved me to death but did not come back to life. He betrayed me, cheated on me, and then died, so my four-year marriage with him was meaningless. I got nothing. But I lost everything, so when I think back to the past, I will be blank, even if I am facing the beautiful scenery of mountains and rivers at this moment, I will be blank... A gust of wind blew, with a little coolness, I shivered, and my thoughts came back.At this time, I found myself on a secluded hillside full of wild chrysanthemums. The staff pointed to the land under my feet and said, "Miss, this is here. Are you satisfied? If not, I can take you to another place to see it." Look." I looked around, and of course I was very satisfied. This is indeed a good place for people to rest in peace. If possible, I really hope that the person who sleeps here is myself.But the one who will be buried forever is her husband Qi Shujie, and today I am here to find a cemetery for him.It's ironic to think about it. When he was alive, he arranged everything for me and never let me worry about it. Now that it's all right, it's finally my turn to arrange for him, but I help him choose the cemetery. Believe me, it's strange how I didn't feel it before. Suddenly, my eyes fell on a nearby tomb, and the words on the tombstone made my heart beat faster: the tomb of my beloved wife Yesha.Yesha? !I almost jumped up, and hurried over to look carefully at the small characters on the top of the stele. It was the date of the deceased's birthday and death "July 13th", which was the day Qi Shujie died!Look at the signature again, Fu Geng Mo Chili. Geng Mochi?Is that the man you saw at the funeral? I stared at the noble black-and-white photo of Yesha on the tombstone, and a cruel murderous aura burst out from the bottom of my heart, burning violently like a flame. I felt that my mind was unusually sober at this moment, as if I had never been so sober in my life.I walked over, as if walking towards the altar step by step, even if I was smashed to pieces, I would have no scruples.I approached the woman, stared at the cold black and white photo and laughed nervously... When I got home at night, I was having that dream again. Many years ago, when I was only a few years old, I always had the same dream. There were no specific characters or scenes in the dream, just a feeling. I always felt that someone was strangling my neck, making me unable to breathe. Struggling, unable to shout or move, no one rescued me, no one paid attention to me, only boundless darkness and fear surrounded me.That kind of suffocation and despair still scares me. I woke up in a dream again and again, with tears streaming down my face, and a cold sweat all over my body. Many times in my nightmares, I thought I was just suffocating to death.I have been haunted by that nightmare for many years.Coupled with frailty and malnutrition, my childhood was spent constantly seeing a doctor and taking medicine.My mother once thought that I would not be able to support me. She told my fortune, and the fortune teller said that I was haunted by a hanged ghost, and said that I was full of evil spirits, and my life might be doomed.My mother paid for an amulet for me, but the effect didn't seem to be obvious. My nightmares lasted until I was a teenager, maybe fourteen years old. That year I suddenly stopped having that dream.My family was very happy, thinking that I got rid of that so-called hanged ghost, and I would be safe and sound for the rest of my life. But why am I having this dream again now?I was strangled by someone again, unable to breathe or move, the surroundings were as silent as a tomb, and no one rescued me... Qi Shujie, where is my husband? Ah, there he is, and there's a woman with him, and they're standing by that lake waving at me.I tried my best to see the woman's face clearly, but I couldn't see clearly, there was a lake in the middle, and there was fog on the lake. Qi Shujie, come here, what are you doing?Why are you with that woman?You only have me in your heart, how can you be with her?I heard myself shouting, shouting desperately... But he couldn't hear, the fog on the lake was getting heavier, and gradually, I couldn't see him, and the woman. I cried so anxiously on the side of the lake, crying and crying, I woke up and lay on my back on the bed like a collapse. In the confusion, I couldn't figure out whether the darkness I was in was a dream or reality. I know it's going to be another sleepless night.Since Qi Shujie's incident, I have been plagued by insomnia, and I often see his distant and blurred face in my dreams.He seemed very distressed, looking at me hesitating to speak. What is he trying to say?Do you want to say that he left me and sank to the bottom of the lake as a helpless act, or do you want to say that his betrayal of me was out of necessity?I have no way of knowing the answer, and never will. But sometimes I also think about what I want, it seems that there is nothing missing, and it seems that there is nothing.When Qi Shujie was alive, he always said that I was heartless, and I didn't care about things that other people care about.He can't figure out what I care about, because I don't even care about him, I never check his post, never secretly look at his mobile phone, I never ask him when he is on a business trip for ten and a half months, sometimes he socializes late When I came back, I was not interested in asking where the perfume smell on his body came from. It was only later that I realized that Qi Shujie cared very much about things that I didn't care about. My indifference made him feel neglected.He tried his best to make me happy, but he never saw me really happy. I smiled when I received the expensive jewelry and gifts, and turned around and threw them into the drawer, so he was a little disheartened later. Although the gifts I still give it away, but I don’t bother to think about it anymore. Every time I ask the secretary to choose it and then give it to me.I knew it in my heart and didn't bother to break it, because I didn't care. So this irritated Qi Shujie even more.Once we didn’t know why there was a cold war. He came back late at night, drank a little too much, looked at me drunk, and asked in a hoarse voice: “Kao’er, you don’t care about me because you don’t love me. You don’t care if I die outside. , isn’t it?” I don’t remember how I replied to him at that time, but I only know that although we reconciled later, he came back later and later, and the number of business trips increased, and even the indispensable relationship between husband and wife The intimacy is also dealt with. He has a bunch of friends outside, and sometimes he complains to his friends that he bought a box of condoms and put them on the bedside table, but he didn't use them up for more than half a year.This word went round and round to my ears, there must be some embarrassment, but I also forgot afterwards, anyway, I have no interest in that matter, why should I make trouble if he is not enthusiastic. At the end of the day, I still don't care. There is no way, I am a cruel person in my bones, I do things out of line, and there is no cure.Take changing my name as an example. My original name was Bai Ping, which was so vulgar. I hated that name to the extreme. I felt that such a vulgar name was really not worthy of my beautiful and unique face.Once, when I was looking at a movie album, I saw a photo of an American actress named Lauren Bacall. I was immediately attracted by the indifferent and beautiful face in the photo.I couldn't explain why I fell in love with her at first glance, but I felt that her proud and independent appearance was my previous life, so I immediately changed my name to Bai Kao'er, which literally means nothing, but it Unique, that's enough.I was eleven years old.My father beat me up for this matter, saying that I even changed my name myself, and that I must go to heaven when I grow up. As expected, in those years of growing up, I was against people in everything (I know that I can’t change the people around me, I can only fight back by changing myself), and the result is a vicious circle. He went to heaven, but went to hell, and his bad reputation has been followed to this day.To be honest, sometimes I still miss the days when I was notorious. No one can control me, and I live very recklessly, but after all, I am a girl, and my reputation is bad. It is difficult to get along locally, so I had to go to Beijing to start my career. North drift life.I'm a media student. In addition to working on the radio, I also occasionally dub for film and television dramas. I don't make much money, so I seem to be quite happy. I was Qi Shujie who I met in Beijing. At that time, he opened a fairly small decoration company in Beijing. He had a little money, and he was considered the owner of a house and a car. There were quite a few girls chasing after him. Only me I never looked at him directly, because I didn't like him at all. I thought he was a contractor if he was overstretched, and I was considered a cultural person anyway.Even if I established a relationship later, I still treat him as if away from him. Anyway, I am idle, and there is no harm in having someone give me gifts and pay rent to make me happy.That's what I thought at the time.I wanted to kick him several times, but he refused to let go as if he had been possessed by a demon, it's pitiful.I couldn't bear it, so I had to hang out with him again, but I never wanted to marry him. If his mother, who had been widowed for half his life, did not strongly oppose it, there would be no way for me and him to get married.I am a person with such virtues. The more others obstruct me, the more I am motivated. No matter how many losses I have suffered and how many stumbles I have suffered since I was young, I will never change.So in the final analysis, it was Qi Shujie's mother who made our marriage happen. I still remember the expression on his mother's face after we secretly received the book, that joy! In the few years after marriage, it is not an exaggeration to describe our married life as a battlefield without gunpowder smoke. It is not a battlefield between me and him, but a battlefield between me and his mother. Two women fight for a man , The play was so lively, and now I think about it, if it weren't for this lively energy, I guess our marriage wouldn't last for more than a year.But just to fight for that breath, I insisted on continuing this war for four years, half of the eight-year war of resistance!As for our four years of married life, apart from the tug-of-war between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, there is really nothing worth reminiscing about. Of course, I still want to thank Qi Shujie for giving me a life without worrying about food and clothing. He is used to all my bad habits. Sometimes when I quarrel with his mother, he apologizes in front of his mother. The shark’s fin was given by Cordyceps sinensis again. After turning around and returning home, I immediately took out my credit card and stuffed it to me, asking me to calm down and buy what I fancy, and don’t be troubled by money. For credit card sake, I mostly forgive the kid.I always thought he was like a child, and he was a figure who could make the wind and rain outside, but when he got home, he looked tired and helpless, like a poor child who lost something and couldn't find it.I also thought about trying to walk into his heart, but he was very guarded, for fear that I would see what was in his heart. The drawers in the study room were locked all the year round, and I didn't know what secrets were hidden.At that time, we had just returned to Star City to settle down. Of course, I had to behave well in the new unit. I was so busy all day long that I didn't have time to take care of him.What I don't care about has become what he understands as "don't care". The marriage has actually reached a deadlock very early. The surface is harmonious, but in fact there is no communication. Not to mention the same bed and different dreams. Sometimes we don't meet each other for a week. He is busy with his work, and I Busy with me, don't interfere with each other. In fact, our relationship was not so distant at the beginning. In the final analysis, it still has something to do with that child.It was the second year of marriage, I was pregnant, and secretly had sex with him behind his back. For the first time in his life, he got angry at me, insisted on ignoring me for a month, and stayed in a hotel for a month.I still vividly remember the smell of disinfectant and disgusting air freshener on his body when he moved home from the hotel.In fact, I didn't kill the child for him, but for his mother. The old lady dreamed of holding a grandson. Although she has two sons, the eldest is not to be counted on. She is still alive and dead abroad, so her eyes are staring. She really wants the youngest to give her a hug from her grandson, so as to continue the incense of the Qi family.It was because of this that I refused to have a child. If you say you want to have a child, you have to have one. You really use me as a tool. Of course, there is another reason. My foundation in the radio station is still not stable. If I go home and have a baby immediately, I will definitely be replaced by someone else.The place like the radio station is full of talents, and on the surface everyone is friendly, but in fact the competition is fierce. I have a strong nature, and I am reluctant to give up the position I finally got. Coupled with the reason of Qi's mother, I willfully killed the child. But after getting rid of the child, I still felt that I had gone too far. After all, the child was innocent, so I took the initiative to call Qi Shujie to come back, cooked him a meal for the first time, apologized to him, and said that I would definitely want to conceive again in the future.Qi Shujie seemed to have forgiven me, and moved back home that day.I thought we had made up as before, life was going on as usual, he still gave me gifts, and I was too lazy to care about him as usual, and now I know that that incident has created a deep rift between us, and it is impossible to heal. Qi Shujie never forgave me in his heart, but I didn't realize it.He gave me a knife when I was unprepared, cheating on me behind my back was not counted, and he showed me his death. He countered my insensitivity with death, so that I didn't even have a chance to regret it, that's all , I think he is more ruthless than me.That's why I hate him, not because I hate him for having an affair with others, but because I hate him for winning me, he actually won me! Qi Shujie's mother was furious when she learned that I buried her son's ashes in Changqing Cemetery. She originally wanted to bury her son in his hometown in Xiangbei, but I refused. It seems that I should listen to her in everything. Her son is dead, and I should listen to her even more. She is the head of the family. So my axis strength broke again, Qi Shujie is my husband, I have the final say on where to be buried!If my dear husband knows that the war between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has not stopped after his death, I don’t know that he is still reluctant to die.Anyway, I can't figure it out, people are dead, and the old lady is still fighting with me, even a handful of ashes, so let's fight, I don't believe that my black hair can't compete with your white hair. After Milan learned that I had buried Qi Shujie's ashes next to Yesha, he scolded me severely on the phone, "Bai Kaoer, you're going to take medicine again!" I was somewhat guilty and didn't refute. Milan also said, "Why are you arguing with the old lady at such an old age? It is very miserable to lose a child in old age. It is understandable to want to bury your son's ashes by your side, but you got crazy and did such a thing! You should hurry up and prepare Another cemetery, I guess the old lady can't make it through, she will be mad at you to death!" "It's buried, and I can't dig it out." I muttered. "Bai Kao'er, I really don't know what to say about you. I advise you to let it go. The matter is over. It's the best way to get started and save yourself a way out!" Milan said, trying to persuade me Pull back from the wrong path of hatred. In fact, when I calmed down afterward, I didn’t know why I did this. It was as if someone instructed me somewhere, which made me lose my fundamental self-control. I couldn’t control my burning heart... I came home lonely after get off work that day. I didn’t have any appetite, and I lay stiffly on the bed, letting the melodious and low-pitched music in the stereo soothe the wound in my heart that was starting to ache again.Ever since I was a girl, whenever I was hurt, I used to use music to heal my wounds, and the effect was surprisingly good, but why didn’t it improve this time? After Qi Shujie’s death, I fell asleep with music on my pillow every day, but the wound still showed no signs of healing.So I have to admit that Qi Shujie has been embedded in my life. I have never tried to love him, but I have been shackled by his love for four years. Now that he is gone, my heart has been hollowed out, leaving only Let me face the reality that everyone is right and wrong.He was so important to me, but I didn't regret it until now! I cried all night... I hugged Qi Shujie's portrait and cried hoarsely. Since his death, this is the first time I have cried so happily.Then I thought of many things in the past, his tolerance and accommodating, pampering and pampering, infatuation and infatuation, all came to my mind bit by bit, but I never looked at him.Marry him, or live with him, it's just a choice I don't have a choice.He must hate me, otherwise he would not end his life in such a way. He is fighting me the most fiercely, and the price is his life.In the matter of choosing a cemetery, I feel that I have really gone too far. However, a few days later it was Qi Shujie's 100-day ceremony. As soon as I arrived at the cemetery, all the regrets disappeared.Qi Shujie’s grave is next to Ye Sha’s, and the tombstone is connected to the tombstone. Both of them looked at me with smiles on the stele, just like the day the two died in the morgue, mocking my stupidity and indifference with the cruelest indifference. slow. Immediately, I became furious, threw the flowers away, and did not burn the paper. I paced back and forth in front of the tomb irritably, glaring viciously at the resting dog and man.Only then did I understand why Qi Shujie's grave was chosen here. I subconsciously wanted to remind myself not to forget this hatred, no matter what, I must not forget this hatred! "I won't forget, Qi Shujie, you will have to pay back what you owe me in your next life!" I yelled.There was an echo in the valley, "You will have to pay back what you owe me in the next life!" echoed in the valley over and over again, and it turned into the valley's condemnation of me. The voice was so weird that it became Qi Shujie's voice in the end, and he responded over and over again from the other side of the valley: You will have to pay back what you owe me in the next life!You owe me what you owe me in your next life... I was terrified, and I was so scared that I was about to run away. As soon as I turned around, I bumped into a person. I screamed, which shocked the other person, "What are you doing?!" The other person asked very rudely. Only then did I settle down and take a look at the man. It was a man with a familiar face, and I was a little dazed for a moment. "Did you see a ghost?" The man looked at me slightly mockingly. "You just saw a ghost!" I was stunned, recovered my senses, looked up at this man, sparks burst into my mind, Yesha's husband!Today is Qi Shujie's Hundred Days Ceremony, of course it should also be Yesha's Hundred Days Ceremony, why didn't I think of that.Geng Mochi?I subconsciously looked back at the lower corner of Yesha's stele, where his name was impressively engraved. "Bai Kaoer!" This guy also saw my name at the bottom corner of Qi Shujie's stele, and read it out. "It's very rude of you to do that, sir." I glared at him. "Reciprocity, don't you read it too?" He glanced at me, threw the flower casually in front of Yesha's monument, and looked at his dead wife without saying a word. I looked at him quietly, and found that this guy was still in good spirits. He was dressed in a beige dress, his hair was not messed up, and the Earl watch on his wrist was shining brightly. The heartbeat man.And just like the last time I saw him, he didn't look like he was attending his wife's funeral, and today he didn't look like he was here to pay respects to his dead wife. His leisurely demeanor seemed like he was going on an ambiguous date. A gust of wind blows... From a distance of two steps, I suddenly smelled a faint scent of cologne on his body.I have always disliked men using perfume, but this man uses it just right. The faint smell of the perfume has completely integrated with his own clean and elegant breath, as if he was born with such a smell, romantic, remote, calm... "Is this your masterpiece?" He looked at the two identical tombstones standing side by side, and turned his face to stare at me, obviously restraining his anger, "Genius idea, thank you for thinking it out!" "What's the matter, they can do it, but I can't figure it out?" I sneered. Geng Mochi was too angry to speak.Look at the way he looks at me, aloof and arrogant, as if the person standing in front of him is not a human, but a goblin, is he here to catch a goblin or something?Of course, I am not a fuel-efficient lamp. I counterattacked with the same gaze, and my eyes met for a while, sparks flew everywhere, which was indescribably thrilling. Geng Mochi was taken aback by me... As if in an instant, he suddenly smiled, very strangely. I asked him coldly, "What are you laughing at?" "I want to laugh." "what's so funny!" "Aren't you laughing or crying?" He crossed his arms and looked at me provocatively, "This is what happened, the two of them are loving each other underground, why do you think we are arguing here?" "That's right, why are we arguing?" The man said brazenly: "Think about it, if you don't go to the old one, you won't get the new one." I stared at him, thinking about the meaning of his words, and suddenly laughed, "That's right, if the old one doesn't go and the new one doesn't come, do you still want me to keep his chastity?" "Huh?" Geng Mochi seemed very happy that I had enlightened so quickly. But I smiled on my face, but my heart was torn apart like never before. The pain that I had suppressed for more than three months was completely spread out at this moment.it is good!very good!I gritted my teeth in my heart. When I came back, I took his car and sat in the passenger seat. I didn't say a word, just leaning against the car window in a daze.He didn't say a word, just drove the car by himself, but I knew he was looking at me from the corner of the eye, and I could see that this gentleman was full of curiosity about me.Me too, there is a kind of magnetism in this man, which attracts me to see him to the end, but I can't show it too obviously, I have to be a lady no matter what.So I opened the car window and pretended to enjoy the scenery outside as if nothing had happened. The autumn wind rushed towards me with a bit of coolness, and the air was full of the fragrance of soil and wild chrysanthemums, which made people feel refreshed, but the wind was so strong that it lifted my long hair high and swept it across his face. I smiled at him apologetically and closed the window. He didn't look at me, but said in his mouth: "Why do you close it? It's good to blow the air." "I'm afraid you'll catch a cold." "But I'm hotheaded now." "I think you are quite calm, you don't seem like a casually feverish person." "That's because you sat next to me." "So what?" "I want to date you, would you like to?" "Yes, why not?!" I agreed without thinking. Geng Mochi glanced at me and laughed. "What are you laughing at?" I asked the same question again, feeling a little 250. "It's nothing, I just think you're interesting." Luckily, it's not about my two hundred and five. "I think you're interesting, too." "Oh?" "Dating another woman after worshiping his ex-wife, tsk tsk tsk, it's really heartless." "It's the same with you. You agreed to date another man after worshiping your deceased husband. What a cruel woman!" I looked up and laughed, unscrupulously. We are all the same thing, I didn't say that. On the way back to the city, there was a little danger. In order to avoid an oncoming truck, Geng Mochi’s car almost rushed into the ditch on the side of the road. . Geng Mochi replied to me: "You dare to get in my car, are you still afraid of being murdered by me?" I thought so too, I was already in his car, even if he dragged me to the market and sold it, I could only accept it.Of course, I will never count money for him! By the time we got to town, it was getting late and we were all very hungry. Geng Mochi parked the car on the side of the road, and said very politely: "Let's have a meal together, for the sake of our ignorance." "And cruel." Geng Mochi opened the car door for me, "I like your cruel heart!" "Thank you!" I got off the car very ladylike. At this moment, I really feel that we are like-minded, and it is a bit late to meet each other! Geng Mochi seems to be very familiar with this area, and he took me into a very elegant restaurant on Furong Road. The restaurant has a very romantic name - Encounter.Inside the restaurant is a different world, with a wooden roof and red walls, surrounded by photos of celebrities from the 1950s and 1960s, both Chinese and foreign.桌椅全是原木，餐厅一角的吧台也是原木色，吧台旁边放着架钢琴，可能演奏的时间已经过了，琴凳是空着的，我们进去时餐厅里放的是一首经典英文老歌Bressanon。 耿墨池领着我选了个僻静的位子坐下来，我抬头一看，奥黛丽·赫本正在墙上的照片里冲我笑呢，倾国倾城。我认得那张照片，是她的成名作《罗马假日》的剧照。这部片子我很喜欢，看了无数遍，一直想象着如果我也是个公主，会不会也有《罗马假日》这么浪漫的邂逅。可惜我从小到大只有灰姑娘的命。 “怎么，想当公主？”请我吃饭的男人见我眼睛直往墙上瞟忍不住问。 “这是每个女孩都曾有过的梦想。”我回答说。 “我就不喜欢公主。”耿墨池很不以为然。 “因为你不是王子嘛。” “那你遇到过王子吗？公主殿下。” 我老实地摇头，“没有。” 耿墨池点头。我又补充一句：“我只遇到过野兽。” 菜式很丰盛，我早就饿得前胸贴后背，不顾形象大快朵颐起来。耿墨池慢条斯理地也在吃，吃相真叫一个讲究，一看就是个绅士，切牛排时姿势优雅，喝酒时也是慢慢地品，不像我一杯红酒两口就灌完了。 “我不是淑女，别指望我有你这么优雅。”我实话实说，切了一大块牛排塞进嘴里。 他笑着给我斟酒，“没事，慢慢吃。” “嗯……”我摇摇头，吃力地咽下牛排，“难得有人埋单，得多吃点，起码得把今天的本吃回来，我的魂魄还掉在那个水沟里没回来呢。” “哦，很抱歉，我不是有意的，要不要待会儿我去把你的魂魄捡回来？” “不用，先搁那儿吧，下次我自己去捡。” 耿墨池若有所思地看着我，目光变幻莫测，“你胆子还蛮大的，明知道你把那两人葬一块儿我肯定会收拾你，你还敢上我的车。” “我怕你啊，你是想劫色还是劫财啊？” “我对财没兴趣，至于色……”他扫我两眼，一点儿情面都不给，“你还是留着自己在家欣赏吧。” 什么意思，说我丑啊？我差点就要翻脸了，但马上又想到我要是当真就认输了，于是我旋即又呵呵地笑起来，“那请问耿先生，听说你有很多粉丝，你弹的曲子很好听，我很想知道你的粉丝是喜欢你的演奏呢，还是喜欢你这张脸啊？” 耿墨池眉毛一抬，“你想说什么？” “没什么，就觉得你这么帅应该有很多女人，艺术家都是很浪漫的咯！” “女人多就是浪漫？”耿墨池不以为然，瞅着我说，“女人很麻烦的，一个就够了，我没时间对付那么多女人。你呢？听说你是个演员？” “配音演员，以前是干这行的，现在金盆洗手了，在电台混呢，不能跟你大钢琴家比的。” “这样也很好啊，混也是一种境界呢，我也想混……”他高深莫测地说，眼底掠过一丝不易察觉的恍惚。 “听说你在星城这边还有个什么工作室？”我继续问。 “凡音音乐工作室，就在芙蓉路的远景大厦，”他低下头，看着杯中的红酒出神，“我跟她合作了这么多年，从未想过有一天我们会分开，现在好了，过去那些曲子成了绝唱，今生今世，我都不可能再有这么好的搭档了……”说完他将杯中的酒一饮而尽，目光变得深邃，情绪也忽然低落起来。我却是瞪着眼睛好像没听明白，他们是夫妻呢，怎么会是搭档？ 出了餐厅，他的心情才渐渐好转，热情地邀请我跟他去酒吧坐坐。 “行啊，你带路。”我晕晕乎乎，好像有点醉了。 耿墨池就把我带到了蔡锷路一家叫“蓝调情怀”的酒吧，里面人很多，灯光昏暗，音乐躁动，各路鬼男鬼女三三两两地凑在一起窃窃私语。我们找了张角落里的小台并排坐下，要了酒，又开始喝。他边喝酒边抽烟，我从他的烟盒里抽出一支烟放在自己嘴边，我已经好几年没抽过烟了，耿墨池马上凑过来给我点上，我吸了一口又吐出一口，两人的距离明显拉近。 不知什么时候，我们喝着喝着，对视的目光模糊起来，耿墨池突然伸手抚摸我柔润的脸，目光温柔地注视着我，欲言又止。 我的头更晕了，不由自主地迷乱起来，什么东西电流般极微妙地穿透了我的四肢和大脑，让我瞬间麻痹得不能动弹。天哪，面前的这张脸，如果再贴近一点儿，我就要昏厥了，他的眉，他的眼，他的唇，非常隐晦又非常明确地在给我传达着一种信息，我的人生会为这个男人而改写…… 短暂的心悸后，我的意识越来越乱，感觉就像被托在了高高的云端，缥缥缈缈的，竟弄不清是什么时候跟他侧着脸接吻的。他的吻湿润绵软，带着迷乱醉人的男性荷尔蒙气息，感觉竟然很熟悉，明明跟他是第一次亲近，怎么像相恋多年的恋人呢？我忽然觉得一阵心痛，心中的伤口又裂开了。不应该是这个男人，是谁都可以，怎么能够是他？Who is he?他是叶莎的丈夫！ 耿墨池当然不知道我的心中在翻江倒海，也许是装作不知道吧，我也是他情敌的妻子呢。他显然是熟稔此道的，手忙脚乱了一阵，见火候已到，不由分说就拉起意识模糊的我摇摇晃晃地向门口走去。此君很不客气，甚至是有些霸道，从酒吧里一出来，也不问我住哪儿，直接把我塞进车里带回了家。两个醉醺醺的男女突然独处一室，酒立即就醒了不少，再到浴室经热水一冲，我的意识回来了，赤身裸体地站在陌生的浴室里，很费劲地在想自己下一步该怎么办。 还没等我想明白，耿墨池一身酒气不请自入。他的突然闯入让我本能地抓东西遮掩身体，结果越急越乱，反而什么也没遮住。耿墨池这时候已没了清醒时的温文尔雅，不屑地说：“别遮了，不就是没穿衣服吗，我又不是没见过女人，你也不是没在男人面前脱过衣服，都别装了，既然跟我回了家，该干什么你应该很清楚才对。” 我当然知道该干什么，这个时候我已经无力反抗什么了。当他把我抱到洗脸台上进入我身体的时候，我还是犹豫了一下的，但也就是犹豫了一下，随即就被一种自虐的快感麻痹了所有的神经…… 可是第二天早上我醒来时，却在床头看到耿墨池留下的一张纸条，上面写着： 那个场面真是惊心动魄，我杀到远景大厦的时候，耿墨池还以为我只是吵吵而已，我冲上前对着他的脸就是一拳，他还没反应过来，我又是一拳。旁边的人反应过来，马上拉住我。 耿墨池的嘴角被打出了血，他看着疯了似的我，明白是来者不善了，但为时已晚，我一阵狂跳，神经一错乱居然脱起了衣服（这不是正常人所为，我当时肯定是不正常的）！等他意识到问题严重时，我脱得只剩一套紧身内衣了，而且丝毫也没有停下来的意思。当时围观的人大多是男的，耿墨池不顾一切地冲上前一把抱住我，旁边几个女孩也看不下去了，忙上前捡起衣服披在我身上。我不穿，还要接着脱，边脱边骂：“王八蛋，你简直枉为男人，玩弄一个毫无防备的可怜女人，你觉得很过瘾吗？好啊，你玩，我陪你玩！有种别拦着我，让我脱，我陪你玩，玩死都没问题，王八蛋……” 耿墨池知道再闹下去事情只会越来越糟，他脱下自己的黑色风衣一把将我裹住后拦腰抱起直奔电梯。我又踢又打，又喊又叫，他的力气也好大，蛮横地抱着我，等车库的保安帮着一开门，他就重重地将我扔进驾驶室，踩下油门飞也似的开出了大厦。全大厦的人都在笑，他们看了一场好戏，可以想象是多么的兴奋不已。我当时就悲哀地预想到，我这回大概又要出名了。 而被捉上车后我还在发神经，要不是锁了车门，我没准跳了车。耿墨池也不理我，很无所谓的样子，打开音响，边欣赏音乐边将车子开得飞起来，音响里放的居然是序曲。 车子最后停在了湘江边，我突然就安静了。 这是个伤心地，和祁树杰刚结婚的时候就常来这儿，夜深人静时，祁树杰喜欢将车子停在江边的小树林里，我们激情似火地在车里缠绵。后来我的单位也离这儿不远，没事我就喜欢到江边散步，有时候是一个人，有时候是祁树杰陪着。他出事后，我就很少来江边，平时上班也是绕道而行，如今再次面对这滔滔江水，我的心立刻就沉了下去，江有多深，就沉得有多深。 “还叫啊，怎么不叫了？”耿墨池恢复了些镇定，冷冷地看着我，“不是想玩吗，我不怕的，只要你点头，我立马将车子开到江里去，几秒钟的时间而已，他们玩得起，我们也玩得起！” 我喘着气，身子还在发抖，说不出话。 “真是不赖啊，白考儿！”他点燃一根烟，还在稳定情绪，语气却明显地缓和了许多，“今天我算是开了眼界了，当着那么多人脱衣服，我不服你都不行，我甘拜下风好不好？” 我还是不说话，但眼泪已止住了，狠狠地瞪着他，目光能杀人。 耿墨池无所畏惧地迎住我的目光，很认真地说：“你我都是成年人，都知道自己在做什么，我不否认我可能伤害了你，但你不是男人，你无法理解一个男人被妻子戴了绿帽子的耻辱，当然你也是受害者，你能肯定跟我上床时就没有报复叶莎和你丈夫的念头吗？你能肯定吗？” I am speechless. “你不能肯定对不对？既然不能肯定干吗要死要活的，我又没有强暴你！”耿墨池整张脸都被烟雾笼罩。 “但你侮辱了我！”我仍然气愤难平。 “也许是，”耿墨池很诚恳地点头，“我当时写那纸条也是一时冲动，没有考虑到你的感受，你跟我一样，都是受害者，我们不应该自相残杀。伤害你并不是我的初衷，这一点儿我可以很真诚地跟你道歉。” “我不接受！” “你有权利不接受，但你闹也闹了，还让我在同事面前出了洋相，你也没亏多少，何况我还挨了你两拳，我长这么大还是头一回挨打，而且还是一个女人打的。” “挨打？惹毛了我杀人都不在话下！” “这我相信。” “相信就离我远点儿，我不想再看到你！” 说完我就跳下车，砰的一声重重砸上门，头也不回地扬长而去。耿墨池没有叫我，但可以想象他着实受惊不小，以他的绅士身份，估计没见过我这样的疯女人。据他后来讲，我刚走，他所住公寓的物业处就给他打电话：“耿先生，快回来，你家遭劫了！” 我披头散发衣衫不整地回到家，疲惫不堪，折腾了一上午，体力已透支到极点。我洗了个澡，胡乱吃了点东西，就把自己狠狠地抛到床上蒙头大睡。也不知睡到几点了，电话响了，米兰打来的，开门见山、直入主题，“听说你今天发了顿宝气，还当众脱衣服，是不是真的啊？” “不愧是记者啊，消息这么快。”我气若游丝，眼睛都没睁。米兰在电话里哼道：“那是，我是干吗的？什么事能绕过我的耳朵，何况还是你的事情。” “我没力气跟你瞎扯，我要睡呢。”我说着要挂电话。 “别挂别挂，我还有正经事没说呢。” “什么事，快说。” “祁树杰的哥哥有消息了。” “关我什么事，祁树杰的任何事情我都没兴趣知道！” 说完我就挂断电话，继续我的美梦。可是没睡多久，电话又响了，我抓起电话火冒三丈，“谁啊，半夜三更的，别人还睡不睡了？” “是我。”电话那头是个磁性的男音。 “你是谁？”我很没耐心。 “白天才打完架，怎么才过了几个小时就忘了？” “你怎么知道我的电话？” “你的手机还在我车上呢。” "What's up?" “怎么这么没耐心，你倒是睡得安稳啊，我都要流落街头了，”耿墨池气呼呼地说，“你差点把我的房子给拆了，物业公司的人还以为我家遭劫了呢。” 的确如此，我去远景大厦之前就已经将他的家彻底掀翻，能砸的都砸了，到我没力气砸了的时候，整个屋子已成废墟，如东京十二级大地震般惨不忍睹。可是我毫无悔意，呵呵冷笑着说：“是我砸的，那又怎样，我没放把火烧了算是便宜你了。” “那你还不如放把火烧了。” “你想怎么着吧？” “你应该给我些补偿，我的损失可不小。” “你要钱？” "NO!" "Then what do you want?" “搬来跟我一起住。” "what?" “跟我住一块儿，怎么样，考虑考虑？” "Are you kidding me?" “我是在开玩笑吗？” “我为什么要跟你住一块儿？” “补偿啊，刚才说了。” “做梦吧，我可不想我的名声被你毁于一旦！” “你的名声？你的名声很好吗？”那浑蛋在电话里笑。 “什么意思？我的名声不好吗？” “好像不太好，”他实话实说，故意打击我，“据我听到的是不太好。” “既然不好，你还招惹我？” “你错了，白小姐，我不太喜欢跟名声好的女人接触，那样就显得我的名声很坏……” 这个男人真的是厚颜无耻！