Chapter 5 Show Dou 1 Year (3)

June 20 The appearance of Zilong really brought us a lot of laughter. Today he composed and acted a good show, and showed it to us during our break. He started acting, pretending to be a master and acting as an apprentice by himself. Master: "Apprentice, what kind of mountain is in front of you?" Apprentice: "Master, it's a mountain of bumps!" Master: "What kind of hole is there on the mountain?" Apprentice: "There's a pimple hole!" Master: "What kind of monster is in the cave?" Apprentice: "There is a pimple demon!"

Master: "What does the Pimple Demon look like?" Apprentice: "It looks lumpy!" Ha ha ha ha…… June 22 At sunset, five of us boarded the first floor in the world - "Yellow Crane Stork Tower". Climbing high and looking far away, my heart is extremely excited... The master is very poetic and composes an impromptu poem: The sun is behind the mountains. The Yellow River flows into the sea. Spring is gone and flowers are still there, Every particle is hard work! "Good poetry! Good poetry!" A well-dressed literati next to him clapped his hands and praised, "But, wouldn't it be better if the last two sentences were changed to 'Wild fires can't burn out, and anthuriums can clear the waves?'"

Master Dayue said, "Thank you for your guidance, my master. May I ask the donor's name?" "Call me Shishi!" said the filthy man. Wearing a mask makes you think you are a doctor, bah!poetry?It's better to call shit shit! June 27 Today we came to a Taoist temple called Huanghua Temple.The fairy air in the view is curling up, absolutely extraordinary. Following Daotong to the main room, he saw that there were no statues of gods behind the altar, but only the huge words "heaven and earth".The master asked Tong: "Why do you only worship the word heaven and earth?"

Daotong replied: "My master is an atheist, so he didn't set up gods to worship. As for why he only worshiped the two characters of heaven and earth, it was because the master originally wanted to write "sky round place, but he couldn't write "round" and "square", so he had to give up..." "Worshiping only heaven and earth is also an attitude in life. Bajie, you come to knock on the wooden fish, and I will worship heaven and earth!" the master said to the second senior brother. The second senior brother took over the wooden fish, and didn't know how to beat it, so he knocked out R&B drumbeats at will...

"Don't knock, Second Uncle, Uncle is about to twist!" Zilong said with a smile. "It can't be my fault, it's your uncle's twist!" The second senior brother also laughed. While joking, Daotong brought a plate of children... small, children? ! "Please taste my local specialty - ginseng safflower pulah." What a long name. "This fruit is the result of the treasure tree of my Guanzhen's 'Undead'. It blooms every three thousand years, is pollinated every three thousand years, bears fruit every three thousand years, and matures every three thousand years. After picking it, it can be eaten after being sealed in the cellar for three thousand years..."

"It's a long-winded tree to bear fruit. It's really tiring. It's more troublesome than me!" said the master. My second senior brother and I had heard about the ginseng red flower bulak fruit in the heaven before, so we asked Tong: "I heard that eating this fruit can make you live forever, is there such a thing?" "No way, who said that? It's really misleading people. A few years ago, it was said that practicing Falun Gong can make you immortal. It's just a lie to children! Don't believe it." Daotong said seriously. "This fruit grows so strangely, there must be something strange about it." The eldest brother asked.

"Yes, eating this fruit often can nourish yin and strengthen yang, as well as beautify and rejuvenate the skin." Daotong said. "How do you know it has an aphrodisiac effect?" I asked. "We did experiments on rabbits. After the rabbits ate the fruit, the female elephants on the mountain were all chased away by it..." Daotong explained. "It really has beauty effects?" The master was very excited, "I'll make a mask with this first!" ... After eating ginseng safflower bulakuo, Daotong led us to meet their master.When I came to the backyard, I saw an old Taoist man watering a big tree.

The old Taoist introduced himself and said: "Hello everyone! I am the leader of this temple. My name is 'Guozi Li. Welcome to visit and guide the eminent monks!" The master asked Fruit Li, "Master Dao, this is the one that bears ginseng red flowers but does not pull fruit. It won't die, will it?" "Exactly, but it doesn't seem to work recently." "It's a joke, it's okay if you can't die." I laughed. Suddenly, 'I can't die' spoke, which shocked us a lot.It said: "I didn't say I was going to die, I just wanted to rest for ten thousand years. Recently I always feel empty and lonely, and I'm so cold!"

The elder brother said to Guozili: "Can't you accompany it? It has worked hard enough to bear fruit." "Who told him to accompany me, he's old and ugly!"'I can't die. "Then who do you want to accompany you?" Elder brother asked it. "Hmm... is Miss Zhu Yin free recently?"'I can't die and said with longing, "Then you should continue to be lonely!" The senior brother said, "Forget about it, I'll give you a word: more fruit and less nonsense !" ... We bid farewell to Huanghua Temple, and on the way Zilong asked me who Zhu Yin was?I told him: "It's a beautiful woman! She pesters my idol every day, how can she have time to accompany 'I can't die! It's too late to line up among my idol's followers!"

Zilong suddenly took out ginseng safflower bulakuo from his clothes, and said, "I think this must be useful for the idol uncle!" June 28 The big brother told us a joke: Last time I went to the house of the eldest Tathagata to play, there happened to be three people begging him to do something. Tathagata: "Chen Kuian, do you have anything to ask of me?" Chen Kui'an knelt down and said, "Please Buddha give me a marriage!" Tathagata: "This is easy to handle, you can go to Yuelao." Chen Kuian cried and said, "Thank you Buddha for expressing it!"

Tathagata asked the second person: "Wu Mengda, what's the matter with you?" Wu Mengda knelt down and said, "Please Buddha also grant me a marriage!" Tathagata: "This is not difficult, you can go to the land mother to do it." Wu Mengda cried and said, "Thank you Buddha for expressing it!" Finally, Tathagata asked the third person: "Luo Jiaying, do you have anything to ask of me?" Luo Jiaying knelt down and said, "My Almighty Lord! Please give me a marriage too!" This time Tathagata cried and said, "Even I can't do this, I'm sorry!" July 14 That day, we were walking in a dense forest, and suddenly a gust of evil wind blew by... My master and I felt our bodies floating... I don't know how long it took, I opened my eyes, and saw my master and I were tied up with ropes, in a cave with many monsters, singing and dancing towards us, Yelling, how noisy! The demon king is a big flower!What a big flower bouncing essence! He said: "Little ones, be quiet! Tomorrow, the 14th, is our Christmas! I have arrested Monk Tang and Monk Sha, and I will improve the food for everyone tomorrow, and celebrate the festival happily. Do you have any opinions? " "I have an opinion!" a big-headed tadpole yelled, "Why? It's the same old way! Don't eat today, save it for tomorrow... and then wait for Monkey King to kill us and save them!... Alas! It’s too uncreative! I suggest: cook Tang Seng to eat meat now, and we will use bone broth to serve noodles for the festival tomorrow!” Huabengbengjing thought it was reasonable, so she said: "Let's do it, let's vote! Agree to eat Tang Seng's tongue sticking out today... Good! I saw most of the tongue. Let's prepare the pot and firewood!" "I object!" a grasshopper screamed. "If there is a vote, it should be valid only if everyone in this cave participates! Just now Tang Seng and Drifting didn't vote, so it doesn't count!" "Dang!" Huabengbengjing beat the grasshopper with a mace.Cursed: "You are a fool! When is it your turn to speak? Opposition is invalid!" I said to the master: "Master, don't be afraid! Senior brother, they will come to save us!" The master said: "I'm not afraid! I just feel that I didn't make a mask today, and my skin is very dry!" The little demons quickly set up a big pot, filled it with water, put in seasonings, and lit a fire. The master said, "Hey? Did you see that? These goblins are originally from Sichuan...there are so many peppers in the pot!" Then, he shouted: "It's unscientific to do this! The air in the cave is not circulated, the oxygen is insufficient, and the fire can't burn well. It's better to take it outside the cave. The air is fresh and sufficient, and cooking doesn't take much time... Everyone is in a good mood!..." At this time, someone knocked on the cave door!After the door opened, an urban business man stood there. I said to the master: "Look! The big brother has become a salesman to save us!" "Sorry! I wasted a few minutes of everyone's time. I'm from xx company, and our company recently launched a foot massager... The price is fair, and it's safe for everyone! Do you want to buy it?" The monsters all stared at it. He, "Oh? It seems that everyone is not very interested in this product... It doesn't matter, I still have..." The words are not finished.The door of the cave was closed.Huabengbengjing scolded: "You are tall! Next time, put a note on the door, no sales!" "Oh! It's not Wukong!" the master sighed. The master was stripped naked, and the monsters carried him and wanted to throw him into the pot... It was too late, and soon, the senior brother and the second senior brother came into the cave with Zilong. The senior brother shouted to the little demons: "Put down that little boy!" The master had already been carried to the top of the cauldron by the little demons, the roar of the big brother scared the little demons to let go... "It's over!" I thought, the master is going to be burned to death. Unexpectedly, the master fell into the pot and was fine and happy: "Haha...look! I'm not wrong, the water has not been boiled since the fire was lit in the cave. It's just right, Wukong, you put them all down, I'll take a shower first!" The senior brother and the second senior brother fought with the monsters together, how could Huabengbengjing be the opponent of the senior senior brother!After a while, the hair was pulled out, the face was scratched, and the body was covered with saliva... It was too horrible to look at! "Who would have thought that this flower bouncing spirit would have a treasure—the dizzying guitar. When he played the guitar, the senior brother and the second senior brother passed out on the ground. At this critical moment, Xiao Zilong stepped forward and snatched the dizzy guitar from Hua Bengbeng's hand and said: "You monsters are outrageous! We go to the West to learn Buddhist scriptures to help you achieve positive results in cultivation, but you are harming us like this. Good intentions are not rewarded. If you want to be like you, when will the country be prosperous and strong, when will the people be peaceful, and when will the world be peaceful?" The monsters were moved to tears by Zilong's words, and they were completely moved!Huabengbeng Wang took the lead in expressing his abandonment of darkness and turning to light. I really didn't expect a child's charm to be so great, it's almost comparable to my idol! On July 14th, Ghost Festival, we had a very meaningful time. Under Zilong’s proposal, we organized the monsters on the mountain to carry out the “Three Going to the Countryside” activity to help those people who are in difficulty to do farm work, and received good feedback. Effect. The farmers at the foot of the mountain praised: "You really let us feel the warmth of a big socialist family in advance." July 21 A big river has wide waves, and several monks have encountered difficulties... The river is so turbulent that you can't see the other side at a glance. How can you get across? While worrying, Zilong found a small dock by the river, but it seemed that there was no ferry boat inside.We went over and saw that there was a big tortoise lying on the dock. What a big turtle!I don't think it's a problem to take off and land an F-16 on its back! The big tortoise saw us and said, "Cross the river? Each person crosses five qian." "You are stealing money, it's so expensive!" The elder brother's eyes widened. "It's still expensive! Don't you ask how much the eggs cost per catty now!" the big turtle said disdainfully. The master said: "Boss Turtle, you see that there are so many of us, let me give you a wholesale price, how about giving you a total of one, two or five silver coins?" "Look at your delicate skin and tender meat, you are really hard to bargain! You can't afford a penny, and you can't get over it!" The big tortoise had a stern attitude, and said, "Look at that horse, it's so big, it takes two people the cost." The white dragon horse immediately turned into a human form and said, "Isn't this big?" "Cut! Poor ghost!" After giving the money, we got on the back of the big turtle. The senior brother complained: "There is no safety fence, the facilities are so poor, the service is not good, and so much money is required! I used to take a luxury ferry and it was not so expensive. , It's really dark!" After the big tortoise heard it, he taunted the big brother and said, "Forget it, you're still a luxury ferry! You're the one who can't take a five-cent machine gun down his ass." After five minutes, the big tortoise hadn't left yet. I was anxious and asked, "Why don't you leave?" "Wouldn't it be a big loss for me to take a trip just for you?" "Then when are you going to wait?" "I don't know, when the crowd is full, we will leave!" "Isn't it written in the ferry management regulations that the ferry runs every half an hour? How long does it take to get to Manchuria?" "Not long, at most half a month!" "Money back! We won't sit anymore!" "It's your freedom not to sit, and the money is non-refundable!" "Rely on your father! Dead turtle! Drive a black boat! Be careful I'll flatten your big turtle head!" "Uncle, please don't speak foul language!" Zilong said to the elder brother. The sun went home to sleep, but still no one came to cross the river. We have no choice but to wait until tomorrow. I hope the seats will be full tomorrow so that we can open the way. July 22 A miracle happened, early in the morning, it was full.People paid the silver, and the big turtle set off. The master chatted with a person: "My fellow, what is the name of this river?" "You're a foreigner, right? The name is hard to remember. It's called Super Goose Feather Sinking Bottom Crucian Carp, but it's not called Cedar Drum River!" "Wow, what a long name! Folks, what are you doing on the other side?" "The lottery is being drawn on the other side. Let's try our luck. The grand prize is a sedan chair carried by eight people!" "Any other awards?" "The second prize is a farm ox... The last prize is two sweet potatoes..." At this time, someone opened a can of drink, and with a "puff" sound, everyone looked around, only to see a big-faced man with a dull face drinking a drink. Suddenly, a big man shouted: "Oh! You won the lottery! What a big asshole with shit luck! There is a word on the pull ring, it is the first prize, and a daughter-in-law!" Everyone squeezed over to look at the pull ring, sure enough. The big man was dumbfounded and said to the big face: "Boy, you are still young, why don't you sell this pull ring to me." "Don't do it! I want a wife!" "Damn! You eat too much, how did I teach you during rehearsal!" "Oh, all right, but you have to give me fifty taels of silver." "It's not expensive, fifty taels of silver for a daughter-in-law, it's worth it! It's a deal!" The big man started to take out the money, but he couldn't get it out after a long time. He said awkwardly, "Sorry, I didn't bring that much money." Everyone said, "Oh! What a bad luck! Today's bargain is out of reach. Let's see who of you has this blessing." The master was very excited and stood up. Before he could speak, Zilong pulled him down and said, "Uncle, they are deceiving people. The pull ring is fake. If you don't believe me, you can ask others." The master asked the people next to him: "What a cheap thing, why are you indifferent?" "Cut! You are naive! These people often play this trick here, the technique is outdated and nothing new! I almost know their lines by heart! It's strange, why do people always fall for it?" "Since you know, why don't you expose them?" "Who dares!" The master went to the big tortoise's head and said to the big tortoise (it's so awkward how to put it): "You are a ferryman, don't you care if these things happen to you?" The big tortoise pretended not to hear, and hung a sign behind his head: "Do not talk to the driver." Seeing that no one was fooled, and there was a nosy one, the gang immediately showed their vicious looks and shouted: "Grandma! It's really hard to make a living these days! We are starting to rob now! Please cooperate!" Everyone pretended not to hear, and two people were still playing poker.The big man rushed over, threw the poker into the river, and said, "Didn't hear me, take out the money!" "You're miserable..." one of them said. Big man: "..." "My friend's nickname is 'Chess and Chess Le'. At any time and any place, as long as you put chess or cards, he must be the first person to appear in front of you. He hates others to interrupt when playing cards. Once , when playing cards, a dinosaur kept running around and making noise, and as a result, he wiped out all the dinosaurs in the city without hesitation. Now you throw his cards away..." ... July 23 Now remembering yesterday that "Chess and Chess Music" tortured the four robbers into four preserved eggs, I still can't help but spit. This morning, we also went to draw prizes. People bought scratch, scratch bought like crazy.The first prize is a pattern of a phoenix, and everyone gave everything for this phoenix. We each bought one, and the master scratched off his one and saw that it was a crow.He was very upset, so he found a pen and drew a halo on the crow's head, and whispered to Zilong, "Xiaolong, look, the master has won the lottery. Here it is, go claim the prize." Zilong said calmly: "Uncle, I also touched the Phoenix." The master was shocked, and hurriedly said: "Quick! Show me!" Zilong handed him the lottery ticket, the master stared wide-eyed, covered his mouth and said, "Oh! My ass! Phoenix! It's a Phoenix! Beautiful feathers, flowing tail!" He squeezed onto the podium and said to the staff: "I have won the grand prize, can I not use the sedan chair?" "Then what do you want?" "I want a full set of cosmetics on CD, okay?" "Of course, as long as there is no cash!" "Great! Come! Give me a kiss!" "Pervert you?! Give me the lottery ticket and register!" "I also want to ask, how much personal income tax do you have to pay?" "No need to pay." "It's great! You guys are so thoughtful, give me another kiss..." "Please don't, give me the lottery ticket, please!" "Okay, here you are, Phoenix!" The staff took the lottery ticket and almost let out a shit out of anger: "Crazy, don't you read the big characters below the picture!" He said and threw the lottery ticket to the master's face. I took a look, and there were two words clearly written under the pattern: pheasant. July 29 Comrade Guanyin came down to us today and said, "Boss Tathagata thinks that you have gone too smoothly these days, and we are going to set up a tribulation to grind you." Fuck him father!The past few days have been going well, I met Huabengbengjing again, and I met a dead old turtle... Guanyin found a shovel and dug a big hole in the ground. The posture of the lesbian using the shovel is really beautiful.After digging, Guanyin asked us to jump down. "It's all up to your good luck. You are not allowed to use magic spells. Stay here until someone comes to rescue you." Guanyin rode away on a mop after saying that. "What do you think of Guanyin's mount today? Does it fit her identity?" the master asked us. "It's okay, it's quite creative. But I think riding on it must be because I can't bear my ass..." The senior brother said, "Master, don't look at it with such sad eyes." The master said worriedly: "Disciples, look, who will come to rescue us in this barren mountain?" Zilong said: "Master, don't worry, we auspicious people have their own celestial phenomena, and someone will come." "That being said, I'm afraid that after a long time, it's unhygienic for us to feces and urinate in such a small place." The master said. At night, we were like frogs in a well, looking at the vast starry sky at the mouth of the pit in a daze, praying that someone would come and get us out. July 30 It was already noon when the first ray of sunlight hit my face in the morning! (Sick sentence!) Zilong held his chin and thought: "Yes!" He suddenly raised his hair and said, "I thought of a good way!" "Tell me and listen!" "Uncles, do you still remember the "chess music" we met on the back of the big turtle? Didn't his friend say that he would appear as soon as the game was played? Why don't we give it a try now? "That's an exaggeration," I said. "You might as well try it," said the master. So, I, the second senior brother, the master and Zilong sat down and started fighting the landlord. In the first set, the master was the landlord, and I was at his house as the goalkeeper. The landlord played first, he played a "3", then the second senior brother played a "4", then Zilong played a "5", it was up to me, I played a "6" without thinking... … As soon as the card was played, an anxious voice slammed it down: "Oh! You can't play '6! You are stupid! Your goalkeeper played such a small card, can't the landlord be able to pass a small card? Idiot!" A big face appeared at the mouth of the pit, wow, it was "Chess and Chess Fun"!He's such a dick, so fast, we're saved! I hurriedly stood up and said, "Sir, we are trapped here, please help..." Before he finished speaking, he jumped down into the pit without making a sound: "You can't play like this, hurry up! Give me the cards, and I'll play for you!" day!I met a card idiot, this is the first time I have seen a birdman who is desperate to play cards! July 31 We played cards with "Chess and Chess" all day yesterday, and we were so sleepy that we fell asleep. This morning, when I opened my eyes, Shit, he was still playing chess with himself!It seems that they entertained themselves all night! At this moment, a girl's silver bell-like laughter came from above her head. "Come and see, here's a big trap for wild animals!" said one girl to the other.They looked at us, "So many beasts fell down." Oh yo ho, what a failure!We looked up and saw them, and I whispered to Zilong, "You see, a girl with a nice voice is not necessarily pretty." Zilong ignored me and said to the girl: "Big sister, we are not beasts, quickly find a rope and rescue us, thank you!" One of the girls said: "If you ask me to save me, then I will save it. Wouldn't it be shameful! Who are you? Are you bad people?" The master said: "You two beauties, we are from the Eastern Tang Dynasty. We are going on a business trip to the Western Paradise. We accidentally fell into this pit. I hope you can get us out of it." "It's from the east, no wonder the accent is not like the locals, and the fragrance of the soil is in the speech..." A girl said, "I don't think they are bad people, let's rescue them. However, such a deep pit , and now I can’t find the rope, what should I do?” "Have you ever learned the story of Sima Guang cleverly taking out the football from the tree hole when he was a child?" Qi Le said, "As long as you fill the hole here, we will float like a ball." "Your head is flooded! Where can you get so much water now? Idiot, can you tell the front and back of your trousers? Such a bad idea!" a girl scolded. "There is a way!" A girl shouted, "If we dug the hole level, they can come up?" "It's just a little troublesome, and now it has to be like this." Another girl said. So, they found a shovel (they couldn't find the rope, but they could find the shovel, it's really hard to do with fairy tales) and started digging the hole.I still say the same thing: lesbians hold shovels so beautifully.After digging for four hours, we finally came out.Looking at the girl who was sweating profusely, we kept thanking her.Only Che Le muttered in a low voice: "Does it take so much effort? Give us the shovel, and dig a few places for our feet to come up." "You stupid person, why didn't you say it earlier?!" the girls scolded. "I can't even tell the front and back of my trousers, how dare I talk!" "You two sisters, what's your name?" The master bowed deeply, clasped his fists and said with a smile. "My name is Yangyang," said the taller girl very lively, "her name is Shanbuki." We say goodbye to Hyouyo and Miss Yamabuki. "Don't leave!" Qi Le stopped us, "Who will score 80 points with me?" We ignored him and went on our way. I heard Miss Yang Yang shouting from behind: "Great! I'll play with you, but I've found a poker friend. Hurry up!" A pair of card idiots! August 5 Today, Tianting sent people down to let us participate in the first knowledge quiz contest in the heavens. So we went to Tiangong. I heard that this competition will be broadcast live to the whole fairy world, and we will definitely make a big splash. After fierce competition, we entered the final as we wished.The opponent is the "bad old man" team, which is beyond our expectations.It is composed of three old men who are rapidly becoming incontinent, Taibai Jinxing, Taishang Laojun and Big Forehead Shouxing. Entering the studio hall, the lights are dazzling and there are no empty seats.So nervous, we sat down opposite the "bad old man" team.The chief examiner is here.He said: "Good evening, everyone! This is the first fairy world knowledge quiz. I am the chief examiner, Wang Jiaoya." The name is quite strange, and the taste is very special. The master walked to the opponent's seat and chatted with the big forehead birthday star: "Old man, your forehead is really big. There must be a secret to growing so big. Do you always feel your body leaning forward when you walk? " "Yeah, I'm very confused. Last time, a group of geese kept following me and couldn't drive them away. It seems that they regard me as a relative." "Then tell me, how did you grow this super big forehead, it's strange fashion!" "It's actually very simple. When you have nothing to do, just rub your forehead against the wall and hit it. After a long time, you will succeed." ... "The contestants from both sides are invited to be seated, and the competition begins now! The competition schedule is divided into two parts, compulsory questions and rush-answer questions. Now it is the compulsory part. First, the No. 1 player of the bad old man's representative team—Taibai Jinxing will answer the questions. Excuse me? Who is making trouble in the Heavenly Palace? A. Iron-armed child Mu B. King Nigu C. Sun Wukong D. Rogue rabbit" Taibai Jinxing thought for a while and said: "I remember that Sun Wukong made a big disturbance in the Heavenly Palace a thousand years ago. Who did it five hundred years ago? I'll be fooled by one, I'll choose D, the rogue rabbit, it sounds the most rogue .” "Congratulations, you got it right! Add 10 points to the 'Bad Old Man Team'! Now, Tang Sanzang, the No. 1 player of the 'Journey to the West' representative team, will answer the question. May I ask that Xiao Ming's grandfather is in good health, but why does he have to go to the hospital every day?" The master thought for a while and said, "Because the nurse in the hospital is very beautiful." "I'm sorry, but your answer is wrong. Subtract 10 points for the 'Midway Westward Journey' team. The correct answer is because Xiao Ming's grandma works in the hospital, and grandpa goes to the hospital to pick her up from get off work every day." "This old pot lid is so afraid of my wife!" the master scolded. "Now the No. 2 player of the 'Bad Old Man Team' - Taishang Laojun will answer the question. Excuse me, what is the name of the most popular idol group today? A. The Eight Immortals Dream Group B. The Four King Kong Bands C. F4 D. F-16" "I choose D! F-16 sounds like a lot of people, very lively!" Taishang Laojun is an old man, asking him this is like not asking him. "Sorry, wrong answer, 10 points will be deducted for the 'bad old man' team! Now let's ask the No. 2 player Drifting of the Journey to the West team to answer the question. Who are the four people who make up F4? A. Ximen Chuuxue, Lu Xiaofeng, Huaman Lou, Xiao Li Feidao B. Akira Toriyama, Fujiko Fujio, Lin Changzhi, Zhou Xingchi C. Daoming shit, flower tired, not sitting, sucking door D. Tang Seng, Sun Wukong, Zhu Bajie, Drifting Monk" This question is difficult for me , I said: "Choose C!" "Congratulations, you got the answer right, plus 10 points." "Wujing, you got the answer right! It's amazing, I thought it was B, B's strength seems to be stronger." The master cast an envious look at me. "Master, I seem to have told you that in group B, except for Lin Changzhi, who belongs to the idol group, the rest rely on their strength." The second senior brother told the master. "The following question is answered by the No. 3 player of the 'bad old man team' - big forehead birthday star. May I ask: We often see dragonflies dip their buttocks into the water in summer. Why does it need water? A. Drink water B. After shitting Wash your ass with water C. Fishing D. Spawn eggs" "I choose C, fishing!" said the birthday star with a big forehead confidently. "Viewers, did the big forehead birthday star get the answer right? Please continue to watch after the commercial!" Advertisement La la la la la... oops...! The first five sounds were sung by a mosquito seeing Xiao Ming's joyful mood while he was sleeping, and the second sound was that it saw the "Dry Mosquito Mother" brand mosquito coil and died immediately! ——"Dry Mosquito Mother" Mosquito Incense Factory "Welcome everyone back to the scene. Just now, the birthday boy with the big forehead said that he just touched the water for fishing. I will give him another chance. Old birthday boy, do you still want to change it?" Jiao Ya asked the birthday boy with the big forehead. "Can I ask everyone for help?" Shou Xing couldn't make up his mind. "Okay, please press the keys." "The results came out, 10% chose A; 70% chose B; 5% chose C; 15% chose D. Well, old birthday star, please give your final answer! " "Then listen to everyone, I choose B!" "Sorry, I got the wrong answer, 10 points will be deducted! Alas, the IQ of being a fairy now has problems. Let's ask the No. 3 player of the Journey to the West, Sun Wukong, to answer the question. May I ask: Why can dragonflies drink water, while elephants can point water?" But can’t? A. The elephant is too heavy B. The elephant’s brain is very rigid C. The elephant is afraid of water D. The mother elephant does not allow her child to drink water” The elder brother said: "First of all, I would like to clarify that elephants can indeed drink water. Do you remember the white elephant spirit? I have seen him drink water. He can not only drink water, but also open his screen." "Wow! The elephant opened its tail?! It's really embarrassing for him. It's really a famous image of a generation, who else!" Jiao Ya praised. "That's why I choose D for this question!" The senior brother was confident. "Sorry, the answer is wrong, 10 points will be deducted!" ... I looked at the score, and we actually had the same score as the 'bad old man' team, minus 10 points. "The following is the quick-answer part. There are five quick-answer questions. Please prepare to ring the bell to answer!" Wang Jiaoya announced, "The first question, one day, the fly suddenly felt uncomfortable in its stomach and always felt nauseous. Ask, what is it like?" La?" "Ding dong—" "Hey! So fast, please ask the Taibai orangutan (Venus) to answer the question!" "Did it eat something unhygienic?" "You are so funny, can you tell me what is unhygienic for flies? Deduct 10 points. The correct answer is - it is pregnant!" "That's right." Old Xing Xing said thoughtfully, "Who did it?" At this time, someone in the auditorium shouted: "I didn't do it, what do you see me doing?" Oh, it turned out that the rhinoceros fairy was talking. "Don't look at the Rhinoceros Immortal anymore, I don't think he did it." Wang Jiaoya smoothed things over. "Where is this right?" I asked the elder brother, "Why do they all watch the Rhinoceros Immortal? It's too outrageous." The answer given to me by the elder brother was even more bizarre: "Look at the appearance of the Rhinoceros Immortal, in a suit and leather shoes, he doesn't look like a good person at first glance." Everyone started booing. "Let's chat first, I'll go to sleep for a while." Wang Jiaoya said angrily, "Now it's the second question. Please name the four great ancient Chinese classics." "Ding dong!" "Tang Sanzang, please answer the question!" The master said: "The four great masterpieces are "Revelation of the Three Kingdoms", "Twelve Prostitutes in Jinling", "The Adventures of Monkey and Pig Gods and Demons", and the fourth is..." The master is trying to remember, "Oh, yes ,yes!" "What a mess! If you answer wrong, ten points will be deducted! Now please listen to the third question, 'Actually, I have no strength at all, and I belong to the pure idol school. Who said this sentence? A ．Jade Emperor B. Lin Changzhi C. Wu Mengda D. Liu Laogen" "Ding dong!" I rang the bell. "Please Drifting to answer the question!" "I choose D!" "Congratulations, you got the answer right, plus ten points! Please listen to the fourth question. This question was posed by the Queen Mother herself. Please sort the following characters in descending order of status, A. Dragon King of the East China Sea B. Lei Gong C. Bodhi Patriarch D. Queen Mother E. Jade Emperor F. Tota Li Tianwang" "Ding Dong!" is the bell that the Supreme Lord rings.This question was asked by Mother Wang, so it is estimated that he will cause trouble if he can't answer it well.Who is older, the Jade Emperor or the Queen Mother?Let's see who the old man offends. "Please answer the question!" "My answer is D.E.C.F.B.A.!" "The answer is completely correct, plus 10 points! Now the scores of the two teams are the same. The last question is the key. Whoever answers correctly will win the championship. If the answer is wrong, he will have to be the runner-up. Please pay attention to the questions, Xiaogang and Tingting are a pair Good friend, when playing one day, Tingting accidentally stepped on Xiao Gang's foot, but Xiao Gang was hospitalized. Ask, why did this happen?" "Ding dong!" The big brother moved really fast, this time it's up to him. "Ask Monkey King to answer the question!" "Xiao Gang was hospitalized because Tingting infected him with foot cancer." The senior brother said. "I'm sorry, but you got it wrong! Now I announce that the champions of the first Celestial Trivia Contest are--'The bad old man team! Congratulations to them now!" Flowers and applause flew to the bad old men... We returned to the lower realm with regrets, and the big brother was still nagging: "Impossible? What's going on? How can I answer wrong? There's no reason!" The second senior brother told him: "Eldest senior brother, I asked about the feet, and the correct answer is - Tingting is a hippopotamus." "Whoa whoa! A hippopotamus with such a light name...what the hell—"