Chapter 4 Show Dou 1 Year (2)

April 14 In the morning, we entered a county town. A group of people looked up from under the tower, and there was a young man standing on the top of the tall tower and wanted to jump down. After inquiring, I found out that the young man was working at a construction site in the city, and the contractor was in arrears with him for half a year's wages and refused to pay him. He wanted to draw the attention of the relevant departments in this way. After a while, people found the contractor.The contractor had a big belly and came in a super bulletproof luxury sedan with three doors.After getting out of the sedan chair, he shouted at the young man, "Even if you fall to your death, I won't have any money for you! Didn't I tell you that once I have money, I will definitely give it to you!"

The young man scolded: "Fatty! Can't you still afford this kind of wages? What a joke! You can eat one meal less!" "Okay! You can dance! Anyway, I have no money." After finishing speaking, he walked away. The young man yelled: "Where is the law of heaven!?" Immediately he jumped down, and the elder brother rushed over to catch him. I gave the guy my private money and said, "You can use it first! We will help you get the money he owes you!" The young man is very grateful, and he took the money and left first. April 15 After waking up this morning, I went to ask the contractor for money together with the senior brother and the second senior brother under the leadership of the young man yesterday.

When we arrived at "Bieye" where the contractor lived, wow!It's really wild!The only seven-storey building in the whole county, the only water tap in the whole county, and the only bicycle in the whole county are all placed in the yard.Of course, there is also the only fat man in the whole county... It's amazing how rich he is! We explained our purpose, but the contractor still said the same thing: "No money!" The elder brother got anxious and said, "If you don't pay me, I'll use a rubber band to make a slingshot and hit the glass in your house!"

Foreman: "Go ahead! It's just worth the wages..." I said to the elder brother: "Brother Hou, don't worry! To deal with this kind of person, you have to be calm. I have a way." "any solution?" "Didn't he not give the money? We let the second senior brother sing by the window of his house at 3:30 every night...until he pays back the money!" "Huh! I thought it was a brilliant move! Haha, you guys sing it, I still love to listen to it! I don't know how many people have tried this method, I don't care! I don't care! I don't care! Baby, come on!" the contractor The arrogance is very arrogant, and it looks very attractive!

I said, "Well, starting tonight, at 3:30 in the middle of the night, Second Senior Brother will trouble you!" After we finished speaking, we went back first. The second brother asked me on the way: "Why do you have to ask me to sing?" I said, "Because your voice is the most penetrating!" "Then what song shall I sing?" "Just sing the part in "The White-haired Girl" where Xi'er is raped by a yellow shit man and before Yang Bailao commits suicide by drinking pesticide!" "This song sounds weird, but I can't sing it!"

"Then you can sing the ultimate desperate version of "Sweet Honey" Miserable"! "How did you sing it?" "I'll teach you to sing, remember! "Miserable...you laugh miserably...like flowers blooming in the autumn wind...my skin fell all over..." I taught the second senior brother to sing "Miserable", and asked him to sing as slowly as possible, and to show a sense of despair and helplessness! ... At 3:30 in the night, under the window of the contractor's house, the heart-rending singing of the second senior brother came out on time--miserably...you laugh miserably...like flowers blooming in the autumn wind...I'm goosebumps drop...

April 16 "This is the wages owed to him, I'll pay you back! Don't sing in the future! Please don't come again!" The contractor found us at six o'clock in the morning and gave up! I smiled and asked him, "How do you feel?" "This pig brother's singing is so cruel! My wife cried and wet six pillows in one night; I became incontinent and changed eight sheets in one night..." This time the second senior brother made a great contribution, and the young man invited us to dinner. During the meal, the second senior brother sang "Miserable Xixi" again.

The restaurant owner immediately stated: "If you shut up, I will treat you to this meal!" April 19 Picked up an advertising poster on the road today. The content of the poster is an advertisement made by an airline: Our plane is the fastest!most convenient!Send you straight to the office! Bin Laden Aviation LLC April 25 I had a dream last night.I dreamed that a nest of slugs crawled on my face, it was sticky and disgusting! I woke up suddenly and saw the second senior brother, snoring and drooling indulgently.The saliva has flowed all over the bed, it is rare to drool to such a state of ecstasy!

I woke him up: "Hey! Why are you like this! I won't talk about your snoring like thunder. I didn't expect you to do this!" He said embarrassedly: "I'm sorry, I had a dream just now. I dreamed that Gao Xiaolan made me a big pot of hand-rolled noodles at home. I ate and ate... I was so elegant..." Why doesn't he die? April 29 In the evening, I stumbled into a house exuding a strong fragrance of roses alone, and a red candle was flickering happily in the room. At this time, I saw the girl I pursued crazily in high school, but never looked at me—Xiao Hua!I chased her for three years, and she didn't even know my name when she graduated, what a failure!

Xiaohua walked towards me in a very sexy camouflage bikini. She hugged me suddenly, her whole body was filled with an unconcealable youthful atmosphere, she hugged me so tightly!I was surprisingly calm. "Xiao Ming! (my nickname) I think you're going crazy, do you know how I got here all these years?" Xiao Hua said with tears. "I don't know." I said. "I'm so lonely, so empty, so cold! Please hold me tight!" "It's not that serious!" "I... tonight and the future are yours..." "No way!" "Take off your clothes and rest!"

"No way!" "What's wrong with you? Don't you love me anymore? If you don't love me anymore, I'll die for you!" "please do not!" "Then I'll help you undress..." "Don't do this! No...no...no..." Suddenly I opened my eyes, it turned out to be a game and a dream! I didn't expect me to be stupid, and I was even more stupid in my dream!Vaguely dig to feed! (This is an interjection, be scared! Haha) May 1 Today is Labor Day, I set a code of conduct table for myself, and I will arrange my work and study according to the terms on the table in the future! code of conduct 1.Get up in the morning and make the quilt. 2.Brush your teeth morning and evening. 3.Wash hands after meals and before going to the toilet. 4.Do not swear. 5.Don't leak your mouth when you eat. 6.To respect the old and love the young. 7.If the above six items cannot be achieved, there is no need to blame yourself, but the eighth item must be implemented. 8.Find a girlfriend before the end of the year. 9.If Article 8 is not completed, Article 10 must be fulfilled no matter what. 10.Find a girlfriend before forty. 11.If Article 10 has not been fulfilled, then Article 12 shall be postponed. 12.Find a girlfriend before you die. PSAs Those who don't care about the environment - have a son without an ass hole. Those who don't save water - give birth to a son with two assholes. Those who don't abide by social morality-share an asshole with their son! ——Innocent Electronics (Let us do what?) [email protected] May 3 In the contempt of Shu, there is a monster administrative county called "Chi County". According to the records of the "Chi County" county annals, Chi County has done well in the three industries since ancient times, and all the monsters are rich, and they pay special attention to food, so it got its name. As soon as I entered the county, it was really different from other places. Both sides of the road were crowded with restaurants and restaurants of all sizes. The second senior brother suddenly saw something and shouted: "Look! The signature dish of this restaurant is 'Master's Stewed Vermicelli with Meat!'" We looked, and sure enough, a sign at the entrance of a restaurant read "Our store is proud to launch Tang Monk's Meat Stewed Vermicelli." The master was shocked: "Cooking me like this? It's outrageous! Hey! Aren't I still raw?" I said: "Master, don't be afraid. It must be that the monsters are crazy about eating your meat, so they use dog meat, donkey meat, etc. to pretend to be your meat..." The master was displeased: "Wujing, you are scolding me in disguise again, aren't we, we will never eat in this kind of restaurant!" It's almost noon, and all the restaurants along the way are using Tang's monk's meat to solicit business, such as "fried Tang's monk's tenderloin", "Tang's monk's large intestine with salt and pepper", "Tang's monk's back sitting on fire", etc., there are so many tricks! The second senior brother was in a hurry and said, "I'm going to be hungry! You can find a restaurant to eat!" The master said, "No, isn't this telling me to bite myself and grow up worthless?" At this time, my eyes lit up, and I found a restaurant called "Selling Dangdang" on the road. The sign at the entrance of the restaurant said "There is absolutely no Tang monk meat in this restaurant". We were very surprised and entered the restaurant.The boss is a dung beetle, and he warmly greeted us to sit down.He handed over the menu and asked us: "What do the guests from other places eat?" The eldest brother asked the boss: "How do you know we are from other places?" The boss smiled and said: "I can see it at a glance, how can the locals look as twisted as you?" "Cut—he is a dung beetle and has the face to say that we look twisted!" I almost couldn't laugh out loud. The master asked him: "All the restaurants here sell Tang's monk's meat, is it real Tang's monk's meat?" "There are so many Tang monks, they are all tricks to attract customers... When it was popular to eat Tang monk meat at the beginning, because Tang Sanzang could not be found, all the monks from the Tang Dynasty were eaten, and then there were no monks. , They actually ate up all the bald men from the Tang Dynasty. Now, it’s all dog meat, donkey meat..." said the boss. After a while, the boss asked us again: "Where are the guest officials from?" "Zimbabwe!" we said in unison. "Tang monk meat is so popular, why do you put up a sign saying 'there is no Tang monk meat in this shop?" the master asked. "The main purpose of eating Tang monk meat is to live forever. My customers here are people who disregard the mortal world and despise life... They either have their wives gone with others, or they have lost money in business! It's too late to die, so how can you think about it?" Do you want to live forever? Alas! People... the longer they live, the more troubles they will have..." The words spoken by this old glass are full of philosophy. "Then do you think we look like people who committed suicide?" Second senior brother asked. "Like! It's so ugly, it's no wonder he committed suicide!" the boss replied.PSAs Drug use equals suicide! To cherish life and stay away from drugs, let us extend our warm hands, show great love, and say to drug addicts: "I hate your grandma! Can't you stop smoking? Come to us, three lack one, I'm waiting for you!" ——China National Dental Defense Team May 6 My thoughts on fashion. Fashion is the "shangshu" with the surname "Shi"! (It's endless again) Fashion is the unity of opposites of popularity and individuality! A single-minded pursuit of fashion becomes kitsch.For example, if other people wear miniskirts that are very hot, you have to wear them if you have eight legs in your waistband, wouldn't it be a shame!Blindly chasing individuality becomes a nerve!For example, other people wear cotton jackets in winter, and you run on the snow in a pair of shorts and slippers, isn't it cooler! Fashion depends on your ability to grasp the relationship between fashion and individuality, that is, you must have individuality and be recognized by others. The fashion is changing every year, but the personality is always the same! Last year, it was popular to wear robes and carry big folding fans.The bigger the fan, the more stylish it is!There are also calligraphy and paintings of famous people on the fan, and an exquisite jade pendant is also indispensable.The second senior brother bought an extra-large folding fan last year, and asked Lin Changzhi, a calligrapher, to inscribe "Gestapo" on the fan.In order to show off, every time he walked to a crowded place on the street, he would open the folding fan with a "snap" in the middle of the road, and then shake his head and read the words on it... Every time at this time, I pretended not to know this person Pig's head three four five!I really want to castrate him! It stands to reason that the second senior brother has fashionable equipment, so it should be considered fashionable.But it still feels like the Congo has come over the wall.So, what is fashion? I think if the second senior brother puts on a silk brocade robe, and then uses a fashionable big folding fan to light up the big stove for roasting sweet potatoes... that is the organic combination of personality and fashion, it is so cool! Oh, by the way, young friends, we can't do things we shouldn't do in pursuit of fashion. Nowadays, there are many families whose parents are laid off. They save food and money so that their children can have a better future, but their children buy things that the family cannot afford and often go to places with high consumption in pursuit of fashion. Not good.We must know that fashion is not bubbled up in that kind of place. I think fashion is something in everyone's bones. It is born. Many people say that I am fashionable...Yeah, I live a simple life, easy to be satisfied, and feel that I lead the trend in whatever I wear...I am a monk but I am Belief in Taoism: Let everything go with the flow... Well, that's all for now, young friends, good night! May 9 When we were about to leave the boundary of "Chi County", we saw a group of monsters pointing around a fairy lying on the ground. The master squeezed in and took a look: "Wow! It's a telegraph pole demon!" "What's the matter with him?" "Dead!" "How did you die?" "Cool." "?" "For the sake of being cool, he stayed silent for half a year, and finally died of being cool!" ... I warn the people of the world not to imitate this telegraph pole demon brother! May 15 Depend on!Why is it so hot!The water ran out and the four of us were thirsty and naked! (It’s not illegal to use adjectives indiscriminately) "Master, this time we are dead!" The second senior brother pointed to a boundary marker and said to the master, "We have entered the boundary of 'Qian County!" The master said: "Disciples, don't be afraid, take heart! As the saying goes: Mountains and rivers are full of doubts, there is no way, and there is another village. "Can you save some saliva!" The elder brother said angrily, "You are making a report, you!" The master licked his lips and said to me: "Wujing, take out all the thirst-quenching things in the bag!" I gave him a blank look and said, "There is still shit! There is still a pack of salt and pepper melon seeds left, do you want it?" Suddenly, the master yelled at the horse: "Wow! Boom, boom, boom! There is a fruit forest!" "Tch, you're still playing 'Wang Mei Quen Thirst' with us! It's already out of date!" said the second senior brother. "Dong dong choke, choke dong dong! Really!" The master's expression was so sensational... The eldest brother flew up to the sky and looked at it: "Long, Long! The fruit forest is so big!" So we followed the master and ran for five miles, and we really stood in the fruit forest. When I saw it, I was completely dumbfounded... The fruit trees are full of bags, bags of "spiced peanuts"! The old man looking at the forest said: "Oh! There hasn't been any rain in our county for three years. Originally, the tree should have been canned peaches in sugar water, but now it has been replaced due to lack of water..." Public service advertisement Advocate science, oppose superstition! People who engage in fallacies and heresies will die badly! People who spread cult ideas fart and hit their heels, drink cold water and get scalded to death! ——China Science Education Office May 16 Entering the "Qian County" county seat, there are large and small altars everywhere on the street, which is a true portrayal of the common people's eagerness to pray for rain, but the sky is still very clear! When we came to the county government office, the county magistrate was also praying for rain. I told the county magistrate: "Don't bother, let us beg, our big brother knows magic!" The county magistrate looked at us and said, "It's useless to know magic tricks! I offended the Jade Emperor... this is retribution!" "How do you say that?" the big brother asked. "Ah! It's all my fault that I judge people by their appearance...Three years ago, the Jade Emperor and a few followers came to our county for a private visit. The four of them looked nasty, all of them had wicked eyebrows and mouse eyes, chicken breasts and slashed backs, and they were villains at first glance. It was disgusting! Only one person was decent-looking, with a bit of a leadership style, and they also called him 'Minister Chen'. That's why I decided that Minister Chen was the boss from above. So, after dinner at night, I took Minister Chen to debauchery, and left the three nasty men at home..." Hearing this, the elder brother laughed uncontrollably: "My child! I laughed so hard! What's Minister Chen...it's Chen Guangdong, the owner of the grocery store opposite Tiangong! Haha...that looks The most wretched one is the Jade Emperor! You are so mortal..." "Ah! That's right, the Jade Emperor was displeased, and ordered that there should be no more rain in our county." The county magistrate shook his head and said, "Why does the Jade Emperor look like that? It's quite puzzling..." "He, he has come to decay!" The second senior brother laughed, "The night before his mother gave birth to him, he watched three Luo Jiaying movies in one sitting!" "Okay, it's easy to find the reason!" said the eldest brother, "I'll go and invite the Jade Emperor down again, and you can accompany him to corrupt once more!" ... contest In this article, what does the term "self-decay" mean? (The answer can be found in the diary on May 20) Those who answer correctly will receive a gift of the century by presenting their ID cards - a 30-second kiss from their idol Lin Changzhi. May 17 In the morning, my senior brother and I went to Tiangong to look for the Jade Emperor. At the gate, we met Chen Guangdong who was busy in the canteen. The elder brother asked him: "Hey! Old Chen, I heard that you went to Gan County with the Jade Emperor three days ago. How did the magistrate there take you there at night?" "Hey, it's the Great Sage... That county magistrate is so polite, he even invited us to play table tennis after dinner..." "anything else?" "No, you're going back after playing table tennis?" "I rely on ness! That's considered corruption!" The senior brother scolded, "I've never seen such a big scene!" After entering the palace, seeing the Jade Emperor, the senior brother scolded at the head: "You shameless Liu Yezi, the people of Qian County have not offended you! You should never punish them! Come here, put your head on your head!" On the ground... let me step on it!" The Jade Emperor said: "You want to step on me again, give me some face!" "Okay then, come on, take out the kidney, and I'll wash it for you!" The elder brother said again. "Stop playing with me as an old man, Great Sage, what do you want? Tell me!" The Jade Emperor seemed to admire the elder brother very much. So, we took the Jade Emperor back to Qian County. The county magistrate apologized to the Jade Emperor, and the eldest brother patted the county magistrate on the shoulder and said, "Brother, where are you going to take the Jade Emperor tonight?" "I've made up my mind! I'll take the Jade Emperor to do aerobics tonight!" "Wow! It's really rotten..." The elder brother patted the Jade Emperor's face again and said, "Next time you go down to earth, remember to have plastic surgery! Don't keep embarrassing us in the fairy world!" Since then, Qian County has abundant rainfall, and even the name has been changed to "Chao" County.contest 1.In today's diary, why did the eldest brother ask Boss Chen: "I heard that you were three days ago..." instead of "three years ago"? 2.The elder brother scolded the Jade Emperor as a "stinky and shameless six leaves"!I would like to ask: What does "six leaves" mean here? (The answer can be found in the diary on May 20) May 20 Tonight, we live in a small farmyard. Under the starry sky, there is a cool breeze.The master looked up at the sky and said, "Disciples, I'm going to ask you a question, but you must tell the truth to the master!" "Okay! You ask." We said. "If I and Tathagata, Avalokitesvara play house in a small boat..." "Master, you are so selfish, you don't take us with you when you play..." "I mean, if, Bajie, don't interrupt!" The master continued, "Suddenly, the boat was overturned by the waves, and the three of us were mere mortals, none of whom had spells and could not swim...It happened that you rowed here, but you The boat can only hold one more person, so who will you save?" I said, "Of course it is to save the Tathagata. If he farts, we will have nothing to do!" The master's expression dimmed, but he immediately looked at the second senior brother with hope: "Bajie, who will you save?" Second Senior Brother: "Guanyin, no matter what, ladies should be treated preferentially!" The master turned his face to the eldest brother, the color had changed from gray to blue, "Wukong, what about you?" The eldest brother was obviously absent-minded, rubbed his eyes and said: "Master, this question is really difficult to answer. Before answering this question, I have to ask you a question..." He paused again, "Which of the three of you was wearing it at the time?" How much money?" Prize quiz answers: 1. The term "self-decay" means: a natural decline that cannot be remedied!Representatives of this phase are: Luo Jiaying, Ruhua, Wu Mengda and so on. Two, (1) Because one day in the sky, one year in the ground! (2) "Liu Yezi" refers to the curse "Lengtouqing". There are also agreeing words: "Two hundred and five, pig's head three". Did you get the answer right?If the answer is correct, please hurry to [email protected] to ask for the prize! May 25 I had a fight with the stinky monkey today! This bitch, who lost her toothbrush and refused to buy it, actually used my toothbrush to brush her teeth.Fortunately, I found it in time, otherwise I would use it to brush again, wouldn't it be an indirect kiss with this monkey skin fighting spirit.It's disgusting, I can't even think about it. There are two kinds of people I hate the most in my life: one is the person who kills his own boss with his own hands; I scolded him: shameless!He even said with a playful smile: "Don't be too stingy! Let's be gay..." I was so angry that I grabbed his little brother with all my strength, and after a long stretch, I tied a knot! He also got angry, grabbed my hair and bit my ear, then I dug his face with my nails, and he spit at me... We played so exciting, so heroic! The master kept silent and prepared the band-aids silently. In the end, the second senior brother pulled us away. I thought: From now on, I will never pay attention to this baboon with a dirty ass. Let him die badly!Walk and die!Sleep to death! ... (hiahia! Enough ruthlessness! You can walk to death!) May 28 After ignoring the dead baboon for three days, he seemed to lose his temper. When eating today, he deliberately put good dishes on my side. I won't talk to him because of his little conscience, he is low-quality! I'm too lazy to deal with a low-quality person, let alone a big baboon? May 31 Today, the baboon bought me a new toothbrush... I thought: Sometimes people with low quality and high quality stay together for a long time, and their quality can be gradually improved, but this baboon is an exception! June 2 Although the quality of this baboon is a bit low, it can still do some educated things sometimes... He helped me with my luggage for more than an hour today...but he was really mad at me for using my toothbrush to brush my teeth, I can't forgive him! June 3 Eldest brother sometimes doesn't seem to be very annoying... Today, he apologized to me and invited me to eat candied haws. I thought: Since everyone is a revolutionary comrade, some internal contradictions are inevitable.But our general direction is the same, and I can't hold a grudge against my comrades because of a little thing. Doesn't it seem that I am too narrow-minded? Well, I decided to speak to him tomorrow. June 4 Today is sunny and the birds are singing and the flowers are fragrant. Huh?Why is my toothbrush missing again? Oh!I probably put it somewhere else last night. oops?Brother is brushing his teeth... a bit like my toothbrush! Ugh... he can't be so cheap! babble!No, he definitely wouldn't dare!The last time he used my toothbrush, I threw that one away, I've only had this one for half a month! Wow!That bastard baboon is using my toothbrush... "Oh! Brother Sha, you're awake too. Didn't I buy you a new toothbrush? Use your old toothbrush for me!" ... June 7 My mood is particularly elegant today! (Look! You're using adjectives again, aren't you?) I was selected as the best-dressed person of the year by the Tianting Daily.Only two people have won this award in the past three thousand years!One is Jigong and the other is Su Qier. Also awarded me the "Top Ten Bewitching Girls' Heart Super Pricking Drum NO.1" award! (Pricking Drum - derived from a very individual "Pricking Drum Nerd Fish", which means "extreme personality" here) Hahahaha... I finally got the affirmation of the masses!What makes me the happiest is: the salary has been raised by two levels! advertise Scientific research has confirmed that the trace elements most lacking in humans today are not nitrogen, phosphorus, and potassium, but beryllium! Beryllium deficiency in the human body can lead to the following symptoms: 1.big tongue. 2.Drooling in sleep, talking in sleep. 3.Always wear the insole rolled up. 4.Drinking beer and white wine mixed together makes one drunk. 5.When I see someone handsome, I want to crush him. If there is a lack of beryllium, it must be supplemented!Please take the "Beryllium in Beryllium" oral liquid produced by Gaomidian No. 1 Chemical Fertilizer Factory! After drinking "Beryllium in Beryllium", my waist will not be sore!No more back pain!Jumping off the building is also exciting!Gaomidian No. 1 Fertilizer Factory [email protected] June 11 Today we were invited to visit and give a lecture at a monster academy. The school has strong teaching staff, advanced teaching equipment and a beautiful environment. We came to the big lecture hall, which was full of seats.First, the headmaster—a goat monster spoke: "Meh..." "It's so simple!" Then, the master stepped onto the podium and said to the students: "Hello, students! Today I will talk about the development of Buddhist scriptures..." Before he finished speaking, there was booing from below, and eggs were thrown up from time to time. "Okay, okay! Just don't talk about Buddhist scriptures... What do you want to hear from me?" "We want to hear about the family history of the Five Hundred Arhats!" "Tell me about the Four King Kongs and the Chinese famous Nihua Zhe class!" "We want to listen to Tathagata and Avalokitesvara's Luo Manshi..." There were all kinds of things to say, and the master didn't know what to do. "Everyone, don't quarrel!" The master said, "How about this, I'll answer your questions, okay?" It was quiet down there, and then a little demon stood up and asked, "It is said in the newspaper that Tathagata and Guanyin have been dating for many years, and they are going to break up recently... Is there such a thing?" "It's completely nonsense! Tathagata has never expressed affection for Guanyin, and he will not consider falling in love until he is 20,000 years old!" Another monster stood up: "Excuse me, can you live forever if you eat your meat?" "This is purely commercial plagiarism! Don't take it for granted, but it is true that you will vomit after eating my meat!" There was a burst of laughter underneath.Another little demon asked: "May I ask how is your relationship with the Four King Kongs? How do you personally evaluate them? Who is more famous between you and them in the heavenly realm?" "The Four King Kongs and I are brothers from the same sect. We have always had a good relationship. They sing well! As for who is more famous...I don't think it needs to be said here, everyone knows it!" The master smiled and said. "I heard that Avalokitesvara wants to take the route of a young girl, what do you think about it?" A Yaosheng asked. "It's hard for me to express my opinion on this issue! But one thing is certain: it would be more appropriate for her to go to the mature and capable school." "I heard that the Four King Kong may win this year's best combination award with a single "I swear"?" Yi Yao asked. The master replied: "Not necessarily, 'Eight Immortals Dream Group's single "Same Bed with Madonna" is also very popular!" "It is reported that Princess Iron Fan's photobook "Passionate Summer" has been banned in the heavens. Is there such a thing? Why?" The master took a sip of water and said: "Oh, that's right, "Passionate Summer" shows too little, and it doesn't meet the listing standards of Tianjie's photo album, but it has been renamed "Selected Works of People and Environment Photography", everyone is welcome to buy it !" "Please tell me briefly, why did the Tathagata choose you instead of Erlang Shen to learn scriptures?" said a monster with a big face. "It's hard to say... I think it's because of my temperament!" ... At this time, the bell rang for the end of get out of class, and everyone wanted to leave. The master shouted loudly: "Don't be busy! Let me add a few more words...there is no bodhi tree..." "Make up your head! I have to go back and take the child to wash diapers!" A little demon squeezed out and scolded. June 12 In the evening, we visited the dormitories of the demon students, and came to a dormitory of the whole school's civilized model - 208.As soon as you enter the house, you will be greeted by the smell of rotten moldy dried vegetables!Weavers (stinky shoes) all over the floor, dirty clothes all over the bed, smelly socks, footprints all over the wall... Damn it!There are also footprints on the ceiling, how did you kick them up? The head of the dormitory said: "Welcome! There are eight people living in our dormitory. The boss is smelly and never washes his feet. He wears one pair of socks in class, another pair of socks when he plays ball after school, and another pair of socks when he goes to bed at night...so our dormitory is full of him. Weiwei made by one person!" The life of this monster is really regular!Smelly is reading a book on the bed, the content seems to be about Qigong.He saw us and greeted us warmly. "The second child, Diu Diu, has no brains and loves to lose things. He lost himself in the last outing, which made us search for a long time... I am the third child, 'OK boy, and the fourth child' is handsome. , and now blowing bubbles outside..." I interrupted Ok Boy and asked, "What is blowing bubbles?" "It's just a prick!" He continued, "The fifth one is a big fart, farts are too lethal, so we usually let him stay in another dormitory... The sixth one is always smashing things! It's an unlucky guy; Lao Qi's trumpet, yelling every day, is a bad mouth!... Lao Ba's master, he studies the hardest, revises until late at night every day, and reads before dawn in the morning... But the grade is the last One of them! Haha... Hey, look, he looks up the dictionary when he reads the newspaper!" "Boys in our class have three dormitories, 207, 208 and 209. 207 is the casino, 208 is the water room, and 209 is the disco." OK Boy said. "Why did you come up with such a name?" I asked. "Pai Gow, mahjong, and Landlords keep going in 207 every day, and the students all gamble with their meal tickets! That's why it's called a casino. We are all honest people in dormitory 208, who turn on the water on time every day. People in 207 and 209 don't realize it and never play. Water, come to our 208 to find water to drink when you are thirsty, it’s too disgusting. 209 is the most noisy, turn on the stereo as soon as school is over, and the students are all dancing in it..." "Haha! Your dormitory is called a water room! But why do I only see a thermos bottle?" asked the elder brother. "Oh! We specially prepared that water bottle for 207 and 209. We each hid a bottle under the bed, and the water bottle outside was either filled with washing powder or mixed with washing water for socks... hey Hehe..." Diudiu looked at me mysteriously and said proudly. At this time, a sweaty little monster ran in, it seemed that he had just finished kicking the ball.As soon as he entered the door, he took a cup and poured a cup full of greenish water from the thermos, and then drank it all in one gulp!Said a sentence: "cool!" and left. The people in dormitory 208 laughed and said, "This is from 209!" After a while, Trumpet ran in and shouted: "Quick, quick! 207 mahjong three missing one!" Smelly immediately got out of bed and followed Trumpet.Then a loud "boom" was heard, and the whole building was shaking.Before we figured out what was going on, the loudspeaker ran in again and yelled, "It's not good! Get ready for the stretcher to save people... The big fart is performing supernormally in 209!" After a while of commotion, everyone carried out from 209 next door two dying classmates who were smoked like coal... followed by a big fart full of guilt... OK boy said to us: "It's okay, a few sit down. Sui Sui, go and change a bottle of boiling water to make tea for the guests." Sui Sui pulled out a thermos bottle from under the bed, smiled at us and went out to fetch water.After a while, I heard a "crash" in the corridor, and I saw Sui Sui come back with an empty water bottle, and said shamelessly, "It hit me again..." So OK Boy asked Diudiu to fetch water again.Waited for a long time but did not see him come back. After a long time, Trumpet ran in and said, "I saw Diudiu walking around on the playground, so he must have lost something again." "Damn it! Why didn't he throw himself away! Master! Go fetch water! It's up to you! They are all idiots!" OK boy said to the master. The master took a water bottle and left, but no one came back for another long time.Trumpet ran in again and said, "Don't wait! I saw the master going to the classroom with a thermos bottle for evening self-study!" I rely on!The scum of a bunch of demons! June 15 "This place is picturesque, surrounded by auspicious purple clouds...it should be a resort for monks to worship Buddha!" ​​The master pointed to a secluded valley and said to us. "There seems to be a temple in front." I pointed to the master. This is an ancient temple, but there is only one old monk and one young monk.The old monk said to us: "I will return to vulgarity in two days! Mr. Liu will also send people to demolish the temple..." "Liu Yuanwai? He sounds like a successful man. Why is he demolishing the temple?" we asked. "Liu Yuanwai is a local landlord, and this mountain forest is also his. He wants to build a resort here after tearing down the temple. Alas, I didn't expect that I have been hiding for a lifetime, but I still can't escape Ruhua's palm..." The old monk said sadly Say. "How do you say that? Who is Ruhua?" The master asked with concern. "Ruhua is the daughter of our village chief's family. Because she coveted my beauty, she used both soft and hard methods to force me to marry her... A real man can be killed, but not humiliated! I resolutely escaped into Buddhism. Unexpectedly, after more than 30 years, she Or find me and force me to marry her right away... She and Yuanwai Liu colluded. There is no way, I am doomed this time, and I will pay homage when I go home tomorrow... Woo... Woo..." The old monk cried a lot sad. "Damn it! You're so impatient! You're a nympho!" "There is nothing I can't let go of myself now... It's just that Zilong is still young, so I really worry about it! I really don't know what to do with him!" The old monk said while stroking the young monk's head. "Master, don't worry about me. Although my apprentice is young, he already knows the world well. I will take care of myself. Don't worry, Master. You should take care of yourself!" What a sensible child! The master asked, "How old is this child?" "I'm five years old this year. You are Master Sanzang, right? You are so polite, little monk!" Every word was clear and polite, not like the words of a five-year-old child! "He is young, but he is so sensible, and he will become a great event in the future!" The master sighed, "Whose child is he?" The master asked the old monk. "Zilong is an abandoned child. I picked him up at the gate of the temple. At that time, he was full of sores and he was dying. Fortunately, the child died, and he recovered slowly under my care..." the old monk said. With tears streaming down his face, "Master Sanzang, please take this child to Tianzhu together. When you come back from learning scriptures, Zilong will be able to stand on his own, so I can rest assured!" “这个我们得商量商量。”师傅转过身来征求我们的意见，只有大师兄不同意，说是多个人就多张嘴，又得多花好多钱。我和二师兄都同意收留小子龙。觉得他挺乖的。 最后经过投票，我们带上这个叫子龙的男孩一起上路了。 When parting.二师兄凑上去问老和尚：“对了，那个'如花长得咋样啊？” 老和尚说：“人如其名！” “哇噻！花儿一样美？” “并不是所有的花都漂亮啊！” “那如花是?……？” “苦菜鸡冠花！” “了解！有那么畸形？唉！节哀吧……替我送她四个字：（我——打）x2！” June 17 越来越觉得这个孩子哪儿不对劲…… 什么都懂！什么都会！吃苦在前，享乐在后！真是一个品学兼优的好小孩！ 但是由于他的完美，我们几个大人竟被搞得很无奈，不知道该怎么和他相处。更不知道该怎么教育他，帮助他。 他一点儿错误都不犯，我们显得很多余。 June 18 子龙今天叫我“三叔”，我心里美滋滋的，问他：“为什么叫我三叔啊？” “因为上面还有悟空大叔，悟能二叔，下面还有白龙四叔和小叔啊！”子龙答道。 “小叔是谁？”我问。 “是三藏师傅啊！你该叫他师傅才对啊！” 接着又说，“我是按年龄排的。我也没说过我要当和尚啊，所以我不叫他师傅！” “不当和尚，那你想干什么？” “长大了，我要成为一个活跃在世界政治舞台上的领袖人物！为世界的和平而奋斗终生！” “哦！……今天天气可真好啊！” “三叔，你现在的发型和你的性格很不相称啊！你该把头发扎成辫子留在脑后就酷啦！那样的话不像个贝司手也像个DJ！” ... advertise 定制各种毕业证、学历证明、结婚证，身份证及退伍军人证。保证可以乱真，价格优惠！ 联系人：李大贴联系电话详见各主要街头建筑物及公共设施的广告公益广告 都市的牛皮癣——非法小广告！ 全民行动起来，与非法小广告作坚决的斗争！ 乱涂乱写，乱张乱贴者——全家死光光！ ——首都创业股份有限公司