Chapter 2 Part 1.2

1 Could it be Bai Fan? After Bai Fan became the third party between them in turn, and Wu Wei also knew clearly that Hu Bingchen divorced her only to remarry Bai Fan, Wu Wei did not retaliate against Bai Fan like Bai Fan used to punish her, creating a social crisis. Scandals, launched _ again and again all-round siege.Thirty years in Hedong, thirty years in Hexi.She has this condition now.She didn't hold back Hu Bingchen either.In terms of time, she also has an absolute advantage compared to Bai Fan and Hu Bingchen. No, she didn't, but handed Hu Bingchen back to Bai Fan in vain. More than that!

Wu Wei still keeps the report that Hu Bingchen wrote to a certain leading comrade in the central government during the process of divorcing Bai Fan, detailing Bai Fan's various historical and moral taints, three pages long in small script.In this report, Bai Fan's image is not only not as chaste and innocent as Wu Wei's, it may be worse than Wu Wei's. Hu Bingchen, who has worked hard in the party all his life, weighed it very clearly, it was not a love letter to flirt with a woman.He might tell little lies to the women, but never to a central leader, to the law.So although the teeny script is small, every stroke is like a small blade in a sleeve.

If Hu Bingchen had really done any harm to Bai Fan, compared to this report, those harms were really a drop in the bucket.In the long years after they lived together, anyone like Bai Fan (in the love letters that Wu Wei still kept and Hu Bingchen wrote to her, he said more than once, "Bai Fan is a rascal, and their whole family is a rascal ”) What he did to Hu Bingchen finally made this report completely equal. With the passage of time and the change of concept, the piles and piles listed in this report no longer have their influence, but Bai Fan, who accepts death, still feels very painful and very concerned.Although she has no future to speak of now and has already retired from her post, she still believes that a certain opinion of someone in the central government still plays a decisive role in her fate; at least for her life that is about to be finalized , There will be a negative impact of falling short in success.She can't be as holy as Wu Wei, who can conclude the coffin.Adopt that cheeky, sarcastic attitude.

Moreover, for Bai Fan, who has not forgotten the issue of illegitimate children and words such as "broken shoes" and "bitch" until now, stabbing Wu Wei with a sword to prove his chastity, Hu Bingchen's report will not only make people She loses these most lethal weapons, and she will also peel off the mask she has been wearing on her face so that she can play the role of a chaste woman in front of everyone, especially in front of Wu Wei. Even so, Wu Wei did not show any of the materials that Hu Bingchen left with her and wrote to a certain leader of the central government, detailing all kinds of stains on Bai Fan's history and morals, like Bai Fan widely distributed her "materials" back then. people, let alone widely disseminated.

From her experience of loving Hu Bingchen for more than twenty years, she can know how difficult it is for her to love Hu Bingchen, and how difficult it is for Bai Fan to love Hu Bingchen. If not, she can also do something to Bai Fan in the same way that Bai Fan dealt with her, an eye for an eye. She couldn't help guessing: Bai Fan tortured Hu Bingchen for many years, such as slapping his face, poking his body with a burning cigarette butt, and pouring hot tea on his face... There may be a reason for it.If Wu Wei told Bai Fan about Hu Bingchen's conspiratorial self-talk about mobilizing her to agree to a divorce, Bai Fan might have to slap Hu Bingchen loudly on the face again.

Today's Wu Wei can only smile sadly and magnanimously at Hu Bingchen's conspiratorial sweet words, and will never take them seriously again. It may not be too much to say that she knows Hu Bingchen "clearly". It cannot be said that Hu Bingchen is a liar, but he is very emotional, especially with women.His love words made Wu Wei feel warm in his ears when he recalled them now.According to Buddhism, the six impurities are the fatal weakness of human beings, and he is well versed in them.But isn't that also a self-inflicted trap for women? ——Whether Bai Fan or Wu Wei.Who's to blame!

What's more, when you are affectionate to others, you will inevitably have the regret of "I often walk by the river, how can I not get my shoes wet".When Hu Bingchen's shoes are wet, he may lose his confidence, say something unplanned, and do something unplanned.It cannot be said that Hu Bingchen's words and deeds are all out of design.In the life trajectory of Hu Bingchen's teenage years, he really couldn't see this point; at that time, he was ashamed to use this kind of karate-like method to exchange and cheat for something. Maybe he worked underground for many years and the environment was dangerous, so he had to change a lot, adapt to the situation, true and false.In that kind of situation, emotions often leave many loopholes, thus delaying major events.Under the circumstance that the revolution has not yet accumulated enough capital and the future is uncertain, or it is inconvenient to sign and pledge to corrupt, to prove the sweet moment of your love and my love, or under the condition that there is no way to cash it on the spot...Moving with emotion It can be regarded as a way to achieve success, simple and easy, and cost-effective.Not only will there be no handles, even if one day you need to face commitments, you can also expand and contract the details.

So, what about those women who are "all gone" and won't let go?This set of experience is not without reference. As for what Hu Bingchen said, because of Wu's generosity, let him go, the whole family will thank her for her great kindness, and she has never expected to keep her word, no.Shouldn't Bai Fan say thank you to her? The strange thing is that in his short life, how could Hu Bingchen always be able to do his best among these two women who, according to him, stole, raised, and gave birth to children, and married them successively and separately? couple? Wu Wei couldn't care about Hu Bingchen's capriciousness, she had to understand a man's difficult choice between various forces.

Doesn't that also mean that Hu Bingchen's true love for her? Doesn't that also mean that Hu Bingchen is a man who is willing to be responsible for women?If not, he only needs to sleep with Wu Wei, why bother to bring up the old case of Bai Fan stealing someone to raise an illegitimate child decades ago, to prove that the divorce with Bai Fan and the marriage with Wu Wei decades later are justified, or Apart from the marriage with Wu Wei, continue to maintain Bai Fan's concubine status?Why did he bother to vacate the old case of Wu Wei stealing someone to raise an illegitimate child decades ago, using the same reason again and again to create an excuse to divorce Wu Wei?Doesn't he know that the result of doing so is likely to ruin himself?

But how could someone as shrewd as Hu Bingchen keep a copy of this report to a central leader, as well as those materials written to various relevant departments, in Wu Wei's hands? Just as Hu Bingchen and Bai Fan wrote to Wu Wei more than 20 years ago to prove his innocence, he also left a copy in Bai Fan's hand for the letter denouncing her loss of socialist morality and intervening in their family. Looking back at Hu Bingchen's repeated repetitions that were identical and separated by more than 20 years, Wu Wei's heart aches for the man she has loved for more than 20 years, and also for herself.But such Spring and Autumn brushwork really doesn't look like Bai Fan's operation.Bai Fan's hatred and revenge towards Wu Wei is unobstructed, bold, shirtless and unscrupulous.For example, although there is a more humane way of executing prisoners sentenced to death by injecting highly toxic chemicals instead of shooting, for Bai Fan, it is better to goug the flesh from Wu Wei's body with one knife.It has been many years - the strength of Bai Fan's fist and nails that can cut skin and bones makes Wu Wei still shudder when he recalls it;

The curses of "broken shoes" and "bitch" are still in my ears; Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, blue and purple seem to still be dyed and enchanting her body; The lion's roar is still deafening; The buttocks that were pressing on her were still as immovable as a rock... That year, Bai Fan's six slaps caused Hu Bingchen, who was suffering from coronary heart disease, to suffer from massive myocardial infarction.Regarding the reasons for these six slaps, Bai Fan said: "...The rough behavior is just because I found out that you have cheated me, and the relationship between you and Wu Wei has developed to be so close. I am sad, angry, and feel insulted and damaged. You knelt at my feet to prove your innocence. Swear and swear that there is no such thing, and with your consent, I slapped you six times. Honestly speaking, how have you ever slapped hard? And you actually said that your ears were almost deaf and caused your myocardial infarction. How exaggerated is that? too!" She also said: "...When I failed to satisfy you in the married life, you said angrily: 'You don't care about me, other people don't want more.' Then you said that you would find a widow to solve it for me. The question, I thought it was a joke, and I agreed with it in a joking manner. I didn’t expect to make the fake come true, and let Wu Wei take advantage of it. Now you are in Wu Wei’s hands. This writer is really a sister-in-law. You are an extreme egoist. You and Wu Wei planned two plans to divorce me long before your illness, but they have been hiding it from me, even though Wu Wei called two months ago Me, don't I have the right to ask you to 'clear'? I'm sorry, I will sue Wu in court for destroying my marriage and family, some are facts and some are witnesses, and people are on my side. You will also be in a Your reputation will be ruined by the lawsuit, and your condition will worsen, you will collapse completely, and you will die of illness.” So, isn’t Bai Fan’s six slaps to Hu Bingchen worthy of sympathy and understanding? Bai Fan also kept his word, and quickly recruited a team of witnesses, and even joined forces with Hu Bingchen's opponents who had been entangled with him because of different political views or various conflicts. However, what Wu Wei got from Hu Bingchen was a completely different version, so that after hearing such a version, Wu Wei called Bai Fan without hesitation: "If there is something wrong with Hu Bingchen, I must Make public the reason why he was persecuted to death!" As a third party, Wu Wei dared to risk the dissatisfaction of the world, call Bai Fan like that without shame, what is it?Shouldn't she arouse public outrage, suffer Bai Fan's counterattack and everyone's scolding? Hu Bingchen was almost killed by these six slaps, so he wrote to Wu Wei, asking her to see her at the hospital no matter what. He thought that he was still planning as carefully and steadily as when he was working underground; did he not know that Bai Fan also had the same skills, and even more experience in mobilizing the masses, she had the close cooperation of the nanny.The nanny turned around and went downstairs to call Bai Fan, who immediately rushed to the hospital and performed an excerpt of "beating mandarin ducks with sticks". A few years later, the nanny came to the new home of Hu Bingchen and Wu Wei. The nanny participated in the land reform in her hometown in the early years, and she really knows how to use the weapon of the poor and middle peasants who are bitter and bitter. Her accusation against Bai Fan won Wu Wei's sympathy. But don't think Wu Wei's motives are so simple. She kept the nanny just to show her magnanimity to the "hospital whistleblower" and to let go of the past. The condemnation, thus contrasting the difference between Bai Fan and her.In particular, it must be shown that she is not an old revolutionary, and has more class feelings for the working people than an old revolutionary like Bai Fan. In Wu Wei and Hu Bingchen's new home, in an environment where Wu Wei has more class feelings for the working people than Bai Fan, the nanny not only provided for their two meals, but also used one of their rooms to start a very profitable tailor. Xiaopu, until Wu Wei asked her to add a cleaning project, he immediately resigned.At that time, she already had a man she liked, not to mention that the man also had a hut that could be used as a tailor.This is something. What's even more unfortunate is that Bai Fan had just scratched Hu Bingchen's eyes with ten fingernails the day before. As soon as Bai Fan entered the ward, Hu Bingchen closed his eyes and dismissed it. According to the doctor, his electrocardiogram fluctuated sharply due to her arrival. His heart couldn't bear such a burden, and he even suggested that she take care of the overall situation and try not to come to the hospital visit. This is really throwing stones into a well.Isn't she Mrs. Hu, the legal wife of Vice Minister Hu Bingchen! No matter what she said, Hu Bingchen just ignored her. Just like before his myocardial infarction, in order to improve the relationship with him, she also went to his bed.But as soon as she got on his bed, Hu Bingchen immediately rolled up his bedding and went to sleep in the study.At that time, she couldn't help shouting at his back: "I know you don't want to be with me... it's because of Wu Wei..." The more irresistible she is, the more she will be scorned by Hu Bingchen. If she loses Hu Bingchen's respect, how can she talk about love? When not making fun of women, Hu Bingchen is unsmiling, so his indifference is more deterrent than others.Even when they were joking with women, women never dared to lose their awe of him because of his favor.There is a kind of man who always reigns over women, and Hu Bingchen is lucky to be one of the few men. Bai Fan was not disrespectful to Hu Bingchen, she was just forced to lose her mind by Hu Bingchen. As soon as she entered the ward that day, Hu Bingchen's eyes, which were still wide open, immediately closed, but she still saw those eyes staring at the ceiling, thinking about something.Those eyes were too bright for a dying patient. If Hu Bingchen's eyes are merely closed, it is a door that closes head-on to her who has already stepped forward to enter, but after all, there is still a possibility of opening it, but lighting up alone and flickering strangely means that she will never Inaccessible severance. A yin fire swam in her body, everywhere it went there was green smoke, but it couldn't ignite with a bang. Facing Hu Bingchen's cold face, she couldn't do anything for a while, and suddenly she had an idea, and said faintly: "Wu Wei is here." Hu Bingchen suddenly opened his eyes, and hurriedly looked towards the door.In those eyes that widened suddenly, Bai Fan read an article that she hadn't read in decades. The doorway was nothing more than an empty picture frame. Hu Bingchen immediately closed his eyes again, and didn't say anything for a while, just talking long and short about luck.He wasn't just being teased coldly, his dignity was violated. Hu Bingchen is restrained, and very excessive, almost pathological, so much so that it is beyond pretense. But that's definitely not the case in the teenage years. In the 1930s, the country was in crisis.Everyone is responsible for the rise and fall of a country, and there are military training classes in middle schools.When Hu Bingchen was in military training class, he always used his right hand when he was out of his right leg, and his left hand when he was out of his left leg (similarly, it was the same when Wu Wei learned to walk in a physical education class more than 20 years later), so he Hate the military training class. The military training instructor is an old man from the warlord era. When he is in class, he often takes out a large watch with a cover to check the time.Hu Bingchen once asked loudly in the queue: "Teacher, your watch is from the Zhou Dynasty, right?" The result was that he failed his military training class. But what does that big watch with a cover have to do with his right hand when he moves his right leg, or his left hand when he moves his left leg?Annoyed him or hindered him? In the college preparatory class, the English teacher was a blunt Englishman. During the summer vacation, he and his daughter went to Beidaihe to open a coffee shop. This first made Hu Bingchen, who came from a wealthy family, look down on him.Every time he has an English class, he reads other books under the desk.The teacher may have noticed it a long time ago. One day he woke up and asked, "Why don't you listen to the class?" The English class is a big class, there are about a hundred students in the class, and everyone is watching them, but how much oppression has been added to those eyes cast from the heights of the lecture hall?It was extremely difficult for the teacher to end, but he had no choice but to slap himself twice loudly. Hu Bingchen wanted to hit you if you wanted to, and then sat down calmly. In the end, the school ended up changing an American to teach English.From these things, it can be seen that Hu Bingchen is not only unrestrained, but almost flamboyant and mean. Such a sharp edge was gradually put into the scabbard after arriving in Yan'an.When he first arrived in Yan'an, he was assigned to study in Northern Shaanxi Public School. The first thing Principal Cheng Fangwu said when he saw him was: "You are from Cantonese." Very sure.The principal could have laughed off this small mistake, but he immediately argued, "I'm not from Cantonese." Principal Cheng smiled, told him that the classroom was in a cave dwelling on the slope, and asked him to go to class. Soon, similar things happened less and less. The rebellious Hu Bingchen himself didn't expect that suddenly, he could not help but become a person who was willing to accept a lesson. When his revolutionary experience accumulated page by page into an encyclopedia, recalling this involuntary change, he even came to the conclusion that he benefited a lot.He didn't receive many lessons, only about two or three times, but it paid off.The first lesson came when he visited a friend he admired.My friend studied in Germany and was very knowledgeable. When he was working in the underground party in Shanghai, he was arrested by the "Central Command". Like Yang Yanhui in the scene of "Si Lang Visits His Mother", he used a false name and pretended to surrender before he was released from prison. Of course, he can also do what was written and acted in the later novels or movies: waiting for the party's rescue; or he can send the news through the inside line in the prison, waiting for the party's instructions and so on.But the party didn't know that he was arrested, and he didn't know who was the insider in the prison... "Siro Visits His Mother" is an enduring repertoire, except for a period of time when it was deposed from the late 1950s to the "Cultural Revolution", it has been performed from Xianfeng to the present. When my friend arrived in Yan'an, he was naturally criticized.He also offended many people because of his straightforward personality, and he was still not very proud.Therefore, drama is drama, and life is not the same thing.And this is not the end result.If your friend is not very proud, you should always go and see it. This is also an ancient rule. He didn't know at that time that once someone was no longer proud, even his own father would have to break up.This visit made Hu Bingchen self-reflect for a long time.Since then, the rules that have existed since ancient times have become countless old imperial calendars. The introduction was that he used an old tune to make a joke: "On the bank of the Yellow River, a group of unlucky descendants of the Chinese nation froze to death... So-so and foolish is our style..." It was reported to the newspaper. The lyrics written by Hu Bingchen are not only far apart from the original lyrics, "On the bank of the Yellow River, there is a group of outstanding descendants of the Chinese nation...United, tense, serious, lively, our style..." Not only are they far apart, they run counter to each other. What is going against the grain?It is reactionary.Hu Bingchen dissatisfiedly checked Yan'an's texts, and felt that many of them were old wines with rules to check. How come he can't even make jokes here? He was amazed that a trivial matter can make such a big article.Then he realized that "reporting" is really an important subject to learn here.But he doesn't regret that he didn't get the guidance of an expert early. This kind of thing can only be learned by himself, and he can't expect others to teach him. Just like when Gu Qiushui and General Bao Tianjian arrived in Yan'an, the first and most unbearable thing they encountered was "reporting". "Someone even reported a cough!" Gu Qiushui said.Later they returned to Huahua World from Yan'an, so it cannot be said that they had nothing to do with it. Later, Hu Bingchen concluded that suffering from "rectification" usually starts with such insignificant things.Just when you think that's all it takes, the gun may be ready for you.In 1943, this friend naturally could not escape the "rescue movement": "rescue". A few years later, Hu Bingchen heard the news that when Hu Zongnan aggressively attacked Yan'an in 1947, the central government decided to retreat strategically. When passing through Yongping Town, this friend and several others were "rescued" in the "rescue campaign". The criminals who could not close the case for many years, and even a few Westerners who didn't know what they came to Yan'an, were sent to the road of hell by bullets, and their bodies were thrown into the well just like the Empress Dowager Cixi.If Hu Zongnan, who pursued to Yongping, hadn't dug up their bodies from the well and made a big public opinion about it, they would have disappeared like a bubble.However, they did not have the luck of Concubine Zhen, and they became inexhaustible material for movies or TV dramas in the future——that would be a kind of vindication anyway.If Hu Zongnan hadn't aggressively attacked Yan'an, if the central government hadn't retreated strategically from Yan'an, if they had continued to censor them over time... maybe they wouldn't have ended up like this. At that time, there were only more than 30,000 cadres in Yan'an, and less than 20,000 foreign cadres. These foreign cadres were rarely spared in the "rescue campaign".The cave dwelling where the prisoners were held in the security department was overcrowded. Even if eight prisoners were squeezed into a cave dwelling of about ten square meters, it would not be enough. Mao Zedong's instruction of "not killing one, not arresting most". So the problem still lies with Hu Zongnan.When Hu Bingchen received a rough linen paper note that was written by no one, entrusted by anyone, and was no bigger than a palm, with irregularities and defects around it, he was no longer interested in the bookish string of words—— "How did you come to Yan'an? Be specific, specific." "First by train, then by car." "Ah! We haven't even seen a train for so many years of revolution, but you take a train and a car. Tell me, who can take a train and a car?" "Anyone can take a ticket. Just do it." "You are still sophistry! The Kuomintang can give you the treatment of taking a train or a car, but you are not a spy?" Not only did he lose his bookishness, but he immediately said to an underground worker who had followed him for many years: "Although I know you very well, if you If the organization says you are a spy, I will shoot you right away, and I will never show mercy." He was glad that he had already left Yan'an during the "rescue campaign", and if he stayed in Yan'an, he would not be spared.Leaving aside trains and automobiles, intellectuals are enough. Unexpectedly, "everything is inferior, only reading is high" has harmed a generation of scholars so much.He groaned and tapped on the table, thinking: It may be difficult for intellectuals to be human in the future.Every time there were "movements" in the future, Hu Bingchen would involuntarily think: My friend's spirit in heaven might be grateful for the bullet he encountered in Shuiping Town.The second is that during the period of underground work, there was a relatively serious addiction to women, which almost caused Hu Bingchen and Bai Fan to part ways.Before 1949, Hu Bingchen and Bai Fan had four conflicts that almost led to breaking up, but this one was the most violent.1949 will be the dividing line for many things besides the change of hands. Apart from parting ways, I am afraid that there is no better word to describe their situation at that time, because they have never performed the marriage formalities, so they cannot use the legal word divorce.The revolutionaries at that time were quite classical. Whoever lived with whom, or had a long-term relationship, or occasionally had a short interlude outside the long-term relationship, was even tinged with the color of world harmony, which can be regarded as revolutionary chic.Procedures, etc., are even more formalistic. Bai Fan is very traditional, she regards the cohabitation with Hu Bingchen as quite formal, so for a long time, she blamed herself very much for having an affair with Liu Tong.The comrades who worked together found the letter written by Bai Fan to Hu Bingchen on the floor, table, and bed of the office more than once. " Hu Bingchen was very different from Bai Fan. He never told others what Bai Fan's repeated "accidental mistakes" were, and he never told others why he couldn't forgive those "accidental mistakes", but only asked to break up. However, why did he throw and place Bai Fan's personal letters like this?And in these letters from Bai Fan, how many embarrassments and secrets that can only be told to him alone and need his accommodation?One has to guess whether his generosity is true or not. If the organization hadn't intervened due to work considerations, if it wasn't for the clandestine nature of underground work, if they weren't Communists loyal to the cause of the proletarian revolution, they would have parted ways long ago. The breakthrough of that obsession started with a small detail.Like researching and deciphering the code of the Kuomintang radio station—she has an extraordinary talent in this respect—Bai Fan deciphered Hu Bingchen’s sudden obsession with ballroom dancing, and found a flaw in it, and fought a turnaround. The self-condemnation was only slightly alleviated. So it's no wonder that nearly twenty years later, even in the snowy world with no one around, Hu Bingchen would immediately turn to another path and climb up a small hill, to enjoy a beautiful scenery in the wind and snow when he was sure that no one would find it. The "wild crossing boat crossing" sentiment of a leisurely and leisurely woman in China. Although Hu Bingchen has repeatedly emphasized to Wu Wei that he can't dance, and he has obvious disgust when he says the word "dance", Wu Wei still found out in a dance with Hu Bingchen that his dancing method is similar to that of The jumping method in the movies of the 1930s is exactly the same.The kind of dance method of rubbing hands together, embracing each other, and ulterior motives, has almost disappeared in mainland China since 1949 and before the "big money" came onto the stage of history. In Hu Bingchen's dance steps, she heard a distant echo. In the deep pool of the lake of his past, there must have been a memory of a woman, and that woman was definitely not Bai Fan. The dancing Hu Bingchen may have a story to tell. Wu Wei just didn't take his pretense seriously. Third, in the second half of 1945, the Anti-Japanese War had just ended, and the Kuomintang and the Communist Party were still in the middle of the second cooperation of false love and false love. On the one hand, Chiang Kai-shek wanted to downsize his troops.During the eight years of the Anti-Japanese War, the losses were heavy, inflation was high, and the people were struggling to survive. It was financially unaffordable to continue to support 4 million troops. This was the reason why the Communist Party was required to disarm at the same time in order to stabilize the country’s finances and at the same time achieve the goal of weakening the Communist Party.On the other hand, Chiang Kai-shek did not want to negotiate peace with the Communist Party.He believed that after Japan surrendered, all the troops and equipment used in the war of resistance could be turned to encircle and suppress the Communist Party, so he tried his best to destroy the cooperation between the Kuomintang and the Communist Party and create excuses to eliminate the Communist Party. The Communist Party has less than one million troops. Under such disparate conditions, time is urgently needed to accumulate strength. They cannot fight or do not want to fight. They propose to start a "new stage of peace and democracy" and establish a coalition government to infiltrate the Kuomintang. Evolution" card.Deciding to fight is a later thing. Before Mao Zedong negotiated with Chiang Kai-shek on the issue of disarmament, the Central Committee hoped that the whole party could have a unified understanding on this issue. Lin Boqu used to convene everyone to discuss and ask for opinions in the Zhou mansion, and Hu Bingchen was naturally on the list. The realization of ideals requires opportunities, and without opportunities, any great ideals can only be "empty and sad". Opportunity seems to take special care of Hu Bingchen. At that time, there were at least forty spies around the Zhou mansion. The riverside, which was not even accessible to cars, and the running halls in the small restaurants at the entrance of the alley were all spies, who were specially used to monitor the activities of the Zhou mansion. But they never caught Hu Bingchen.Of course, it's not easy to catch. Finally, during the period of cooperation between the Kuomintang and the Communist Party, we can only continue to follow up, get more clues, and close the net immediately if necessary. Hu Bingchen's ability is to shake off any tail.He rented a small courtyard opposite Zhou's mansion, and there was a mountain behind the yard. Every time he came out of Zhou's mansion, he went straight to the opposite yard, walked through the yard, went out the back door, and entered the mountain.This method is not unusual, and it can even be said that the standard is not high.The spies never knew that he was a more important and experienced intelligence trafficker. Because I live outside Zhou’s mansion, it’s not easy to go in and report on my work. It’s not uncommon for people to stay for dinner or stay overnight after talking late. Not only did they have the opportunity to eat with Mr. Dong Biwu and Lin Biao many times, but they even had dinner with Zhou Enlai once. .Once Mr. Dong invited him to have a drink together, and he drank up a bottle of Moutai until the two of them seemed drunk but not drunk, and entered the best state of being slightly drunk.Regarding this meeting, he thinks that Mr. Dong also feels lonely sometimes.From the fact that "loneliness" cannot die, it shows that it is very difficult to completely discard a certain kind of enlightenment. When Mao Zedong was negotiating in Chongqing, he and Hurley initially lived in Jiang's mansion in Geleshan, and the two occupied half of the country; if they went to the city for business, they stayed in Zhang Zizhong's Guiyuan.People in the Zhou Mansion were very worried, thinking that Chiang Kai-shek might do something wrong at any time, such as putting him under house arrest or poisoning food. Even if the Zhou Mansion sent something to Mao Zedong, it would have to pass Chiang Kai-shek’s guard inspection.Everyone suggested that Mao Zedong move to the Zhou mansion.Zhou Enlai said: "Everyone's suggestions are very good, and I will be responsible for asking Mao Zedong to reflect." Mao Zedong listened to the opinions of the masses and moved into Zhou Mansion, living in the last room on the right hand side on the second floor. After Mao Zedong lived in the Zhou mansion, the leaders of the party gathered together, the five elements were born together, and the yin and yang were coordinated.However, the Zhou mansion, where both people and animals were prosperous and peaceful, suddenly caught fire twice.It can be seen that no one can beat the real dragon, and Mao Zedong should be the fate of the real dragon emperor.Once, several thatched cottages in the guest house of the office caught fire, and all the people in the office ran to put out the fire. Only Mao Zedong, holding a cigarette in his hand, walked in the corridor on the second floor, "it's better than strolling in a garden", and said as he walked: "If the old ones don't go, the new ones won't come. If the thatched house burns down, you can build a western-style building." The second time was at ninety o'clock in the morning one day, when the confidential staff on the third floor burned the secret code, they left before the stove was completely extinguished, and the ashes of paper burned again.It happened that Hu Bingchen went to the Zhou mansion to accept the task, he got into the raging fire, and was the first to rush to the confidential office on the third floor to rescue the confidential file box of his sweetheart... His hair and eyebrows were burnt, but fortunately there was nothing left on his face scar.Afterwards, Hu Bingchen thought to himself while stroking his face in the mirror, it would be better to leave some harmless scars. When he rose to rescue the confidential file box, he didn't know that Mao Zedong was watching him coldly.Hu Bingchen prides himself on being a man of great responsibilities, and he keeps going forward in the career that he may dedicate himself to, and never has the motive of "showing off".Many years later, people still remember Hu Bingchen's rampage in the fireworks, but Mao Zedong, who looked at him coldly, did not leave much impression. Tang Zong and Song Zu "slightly lost their literary talents", Genghis Khan "only knew how to bend a bow and shoot big eagles", and Hu Bingchen, who was just a desperate man, how could Mao Zedong look forward to it? — even after a few years, the young man almost died in search of his son. But other leaders were impressed.It is conceivable that Lin Boqu always seeks Hu Bingchen's opinion, and it should be a matter of course. At that time, Hu Bingchen was very happy, feeling that the long-cherished wish of saving the country through industry could finally be fulfilled, and he secretly speculated that his director could also take advantage of this to emerge, and with the central policy as the basis... everything seemed to be safe. He was impassioned, eloquent, and even boastful: "I am in favor of the establishment of the Northern and Southern Dynasties. We can vigorously develop industry according to the north. After becoming stronger, we can naturally eat up the Kuomintang through peaceful evolution; the south can avoid liberation if it does not destroy itself." China’s great sacrifice in the First World War.”…The Kuomintang’s technological power can also be used. Although they concentrated their efforts on expanding the army, they also paid attention to industrial construction and established a resource committee. Most of the members are students studying in the United States. us.During the Anti-Japanese War, the Ministry of Economic Affairs was also established, and after Japan surrendered, it was also taken over by the Resources Committee.There is also an Ordnance Industry Department, all of which are German students... If the resource committee is allowed to build it, it may be better than ours, because they know how to do it, and they are inextricably linked with countries in the world in terms of technology, and the information is faster than ours. , Technical exchanges with the West will not be interrupted, relations with the United Nations and Western countries will not be interrupted, and there will be mutual supervision in politics... As long as we work hard, we will definitely be able to beat the Kuomintang. " Although he thought about that conversation for a long time and made a lot of preparations, after thinking about it afterwards, he was still quite naive, especially when he said that "there is mutual supervision in politics".Just as he was talking, the situation suddenly changed.Facing the all-out civil war launched by the Kuomintang, the Communist Party had to fight, and the central government had to abandon plans to start a "new stage of peace and democracy" and to form a coalition government. Hu Bingchen also inevitably changed from relying on the object to being the object of criticism.Compared with the later "anti-rightist" struggle, it can't be regarded as "leading the snake out of the hole", but he no longer "speaks everything he knows, and talks endlessly".No longer "knowing everything and saying everything", does not mean that you really think you are wrong.Hu Bingchen has never admitted his mistakes in his life, regardless of the country.Events, major events, family affairs, or love affairs... Even if you lose temporarily and retreat, you will settle accounts after the autumn when there is a turmoil;So he always remembers the small building with civil structure, isn't that also a sense of glory?These three or two lessons are not many, but they basically cover all aspects of life.It played a decisive role in how Hu Bingchen would change his course in the future.Looking back on these experiences, he always smiled knowingly,——"Being a human being", "being a human being", isn't a human being made by "doing" it! It is not difficult to say difficult, and it is not easy to say easy.倒也有了明锐后的轻薄。 这一笑之后的胡秉宸，与从前就日渐地不同。 虽然胡秉宸常常收敛着自己，并且非常过分，几近病态，甚至失于矫饰，骨子里却恃才傲物。 既有恃才的潇洒，也有傲物的虚浮，难免有失从容和内敛——与一字之差的“收敛”可就失之千里——像一张努得太强的弓，很容易折断，伤害着自己也伤害着周边的人。 谁若侵犯了他的尊严，他能六亲不认，至死不悔。 “文化大革命”初期，一个凶多吉少的晚上，领导“大革命”的一位“首长”，把胡秉宸召到了钓鱼台。根据他在“大革命”里的表现，他知道这个“召见”意味着什么，心中不免忐忑。 虽然开谈之前，“首长”还和他拉了两句“家常”：“你过去是做什么工作的？” 他回答说：“很长一段时间在社会部。” “首长”似乎沉思片刻，再开口就有些熟络：“也算是我的老部下了。” 谁说他们不需要人才！ 他又怎能不知道胡秉宸的历史？“大革命”的开场小锣一响，他对胡秉宸就作了一番调查，档案资料说明，由于他的精明强干，完成过很多艰难的使命，难怪得到周恩来的器重。所以呼风唤雨之始，便指派胡秉宸担任一项重要工作，没想到他是如此的不听招呼，连阳奉阴违都不是，简直是和他背道而驰。自延安得势以来，什么时候容下过这样的不从！ 胡秉宸听出话里的微妙。在党里做了几十年，他明白微妙之间就是一个人的沉浮乃至生死存亡。以他那时对“做”人的领悟，趁势说些无伤大雅却不失原则的话，诸如“我水平不高，请老领导多多批评帮助”之类，情况可能就会是另一种样子。 而且这么说也能沾上一点边，这位“首长”的确是个老“克格勃”的头头。 尽管心中忐忑，可他偏偏不说，绷着脸，梗着脖子站在那里，脸上一点表情也没有，甚至连头都没有点一下。 原因是远在延安时期，胡秉宸就对这位“首长”有了怀疑，虽然不甚明确。首先起始于“首长”的讲话。 胡秉宸是挑剔的。从他少年时自己走不好正步，从而讨厌了军训课、捉弄军训教师，就能看出他的挑剔近乎偏执。他觉得这位“首长”说起话来中不中、西不西，还以假洋鬼子的洋腔洋调自得。一个革命家，有什么必要卖弄这些？而一个喜欢卖弄的人，难免不让人怀疑另有所图。一作报告就是托洛茨基，说来说去就是托派主张由日本人来占领中国，很没意思。中国的托派不过二十八个半，有什么值得这样虚张声势、大书特书？ 一个人要是老把什么挂在嘴上，那要么就是他的心病，要么就是除了那个其他什么都不知道。 这个本在王明极盛时期追随王明，长驻苏联的人，曾几何时，是今何等忠心、膝下承欢的佞臣，在共产国际的会议上甚至高呼“王明万岁！” 胡秉宸亲眼看到过他和王明在延安城外，惬意地骑着马儿闲遛。马儿踩着细碎的小步，两人在马上有说有笑。他们的欢声笑语，让马儿的小步颠簸得起起伏伏，跳跃着逸豫的韵致。那是一个星期天，他从驻地盐店子到延安去买点日用品。野外没有他人，骑在马上的这两个，在贫瘠的黄土地上，在清心寡欲的革命环境中，在对革命生涯磕头点地的赤诚中，是那样招摇，那样带有背叛革命群氓的意味，让他不满地频频回头。 三十年风水轮转，这位与王明策马同游的人，一九四二年整风伊始，便审时度势，很快靠了过来，转眼成了批王明的得力干将。 那时胡秉宸已远去重庆，没能眼见那份赤裸的精彩。 “整风”于一九四三年转入“抢救运动”，近两万名千里迢迢、到延安投奔革命的干部，几乎全部收审关押，成了特务。他用这些人的政治生命乃至他们的机体，维持了他那个中央社会调查部部长的位置。有人反映此人阴险奸诈、心狠手辣、陷害忠良，据说都被这样的说法推挡回来：我们就是要用他来杀人，用他来揭王明的老底。 胡秉宸的目光从半掩的眼皮下，急速地在“首长”脸上扫过，试图一瞥那对隐约在眼镜后面，久已不见庐山真面目的眼睛。可他一无所获，只瞥见一团稍纵即逝、不分皂白的浊光。 就在那时，他接上了中断多年的怀疑。人类怎么会有历史？钟情历史？矢志于历史的真实？他突然觉得十分好笑，这岂不是糟蹋自己，和自己过不去？ 难怪有人一旦登上帝王的宝座，就要消灭历史。 时隔二十余年，其间风云变幻，“运动”迭起，此人却更加飞黄腾达，不可一世，兼而每在“运动”中呼风唤雨，胡秉宸就越发觉得“大革命”的怪诞。 不能不说，对人、对事，胡秉宸具备一对火眼金睛。 经过多年的磨合，胡秉宸“做”得已渐自如，但他知道并非事事都可蒙混，现在终于到了一个不能“做”的关头，何去何从，必得有个抉择。 三思而后，他拒绝了眼前的机会。在手中握有“尚方宝剑”的几个男女蒸蒸日上之时，很有些大风起兮、慷慨就义的意思。 那个拒绝，何止是对他心智、胆魄、忠诚的考验？也是对他根基的考验，对来自他那个家族，那个源远流长的根基——不苛求目的(天上掉馅饼则另当别论)的放达，荣辱不惊的沉毅的考验。 但也不能排除“首长”和他谈话时的那副坐相，那种狐假虎威的腔调，让他觉得深受其辱。这种因素于胡秉宸的作用，并不亚于政治上的权衡。 “情况是这样，戚本禹同志反映对你的来历不甚了解，需要清查一下……” 不提戚本禹还好，一提，就想起戚本禹对他拍桌子的事。胡秉宸更是铁了脸，完全不顾“首长”的话里欲藏不藏地藏着“一箭数雕”，但也可能容他有一隙回旋之地的凶险。 戚本禹是什么玩意儿？竟然向他拍桌子！ 胡家那浪漫而躁动的血，在他的血管里不可遏制地奔突起来。“首长”一下就明白了“竖子不可救”的忤逆。“那么你承认不承认执行了资产阶级反动路线，还散布过许多反对'文化大革命'的言论？” 他回答说：“我不知道什么是资产阶级反动路线。我所有的讲话都有录音，领导可以调审……如果非要说我说了，我也没办法。” 胡秉宸听见“首长”用手指弹了弹手里的一张纸，还有“嗖”的一声从指间刮过来的那一窄条阴风。随即他被告知开除了党籍，其因是违抗“中央”的指示，定性为反党、反社会主义、反中央的敌我矛盾。“对于中央的这个决定，你个人还有什么意见？”他直直地站在“首长”面前，说：“对组织的这一决定，我保留意见。我不承认我是反动分子，也不同意开除我的党籍。”说完，他心里反倒不忐忑了，而是横下心来考虑，如何度过根本看不到头的“反革命”生涯，或准备身首两地。 可想而知，在那个回合里也不曾腿软的胡秉宸，白帆的捉弄是怎样激怒了他。他更加冷蔑地说道：“你这股浑劲儿、固执、暴戾、无知，完全源自你的父亲，属于一种遗传基因的作用，是无法改变的了。你母亲一生就这样地活在你父亲的阴影下，你以为我也会这样生活在你的阴影下？” 白帆当即把带去的小菜、羹汤摔了一地，铝制饭盒在光滑的地板上不识时务地旋转着，如没有铆足劲的手摇老唱机，又逢一个老式胶唱片，奏出了一曲沙哑变调的哀歌。 正是在这种情况下，她伸出十指抠着胡秉宸的眼睛喊道：“我非让你睁开眼睛看着我不可，我非让你睁开眼睛看着我不可——”这喊叫在病房了无生气的走廊里游走回荡，沉闷的内科病房陡然变做生动的精神病房，医生护士更觉此人暴戾，还说难怪她一进病房，胡秉宸的心电图就不规则地波动。 任凭风吹浪打，胡秉宸也没有睁开眼睛。 白帆眼瞅那双合着的眼睑倏忽之间不但不再抽搐反倒淡定地层平，也就是说，她眼瞅着胡秉宸在她面前，瞬间筑起了一道比铜墙铁壁更难以攻克的屏障。而她只能一筹莫展、眼睁睁地看着那工程的实施，无论怎样也不能阻挡大势已去的局面了。 锥心的绝望让她又狂号出一句极不理智的话：“我就是要气死你！——” 在她如此败坠深渊的时刻，吴为却明目张胆、厚颜无耻地到医院来和胡秉宸幽会，不是乘人之危又是什么？ 为胡秉宸的遭遇哭哭啼啼、柔肠寸断的吴为，与癫狂失态的她形成了强烈的反差，有如一个精心设计的对比，居心是何等险恶！ 如果和胡秉宸一对一地较量，还只是胡秉宸对她的伤害，而吴为和胡秉宸的幽会，则对她不仅是一个联手的伤害，还是胡秉宸当着她的仇敌对她毫不吝惜的出卖。这出卖把她置于怎样狼狈的境地，不给她留下丝毫进退的余地……这种伤害，仅仅是加倍就可以计算出来的吗？ 她的拳脚、诅咒、辱骂、怒吼……难道不是她的正当防卫，不是吴为罪有应得？ 谁敢说她残暴！换了另一个女人也许比她做得还过分。 而吴为不肯大打出手，那左推右挡的招架，更让她想到以退为进的佯装，让她又失一招地恨意倍增。 即便她把吴为置于死地又怎样？她仍然被不言不语的吴为杀了个落花流水，片甲不留。胡秉宸早替吴为缴了她的械。 吴为只能左推右挡。 她明知自己夺人所爱，而一个夺人所爱的人，不论遭遇什么，还有什么可说？ 可又不能不夺。那时她以为是虎口夺人，很久以后才知道，事情不那么简单。 更何况胡秉宸沉疴在身，任何刺激都可能导致他转眼之间一命归天。 她有什么道理像白帆那样翻江倒海、大有作为？ 但白帆的打法着实让她大开眼界，原来女人也可以如此大打出手。在那一瞬间，她居然还能想到叶家女人的无能。要是叶莲子有这十分之一的魄力，也不至于落到任人宰割的境地。 至于她自己，面对白帆那十八般武艺的全面出击，也只会结结巴巴地说：“你，你，你怎么可以这样打人？” 白帆近近地逼着她的脸说：“打的就是你这个婊子，怎么样，你敢到派出所去验伤吗？” 仓皇中，她扭头看了看胡秉宸。胡秉宸绷着脸，一副无视无闻的样子。她被这两个无论从哪方面来说，都比她经验丰富、技艺精湛、胸怀大略的人挤在了中间，挤得她无所适从，哑口无言。 胡秉宸一声不响地看着吴为在那摧枯拉朽之力的研磨下，挣扎也无可挣扎，逃遁也无可逃遁，一点点地化为齑粉。吴为不得不原谅他的一声不响，因为他生命垂危，无能无力。 但他至少可以说明一句，她是应他的要求到医院来的。 虽然事后胡秉宸解释道“……当时你默默走开是最好的办法，否则弄到医院院部，成为全体病人的笑料传出去，或到了派出所……派出所一定会找三方机关，那才真会造成以后的被动局面”，吴为也未能全然释怀。考虑如此全面的胡秉宸，对要求她到医院一见惹来的祸事，为什么不置一词？ 即便胡秉宸澄清责任，难道白帆就会手软？ 白帆不能不为保卫自己的利益而战。而经过长期、多种战斗洗礼的白帆，在解决这类危及切身利益的原则问题上，一派大江东去的浩荡。 吴为从来不是白帆的对手，永远不可能是。 以后发生的事，将会证明这一点。 尽管如此，吴为对胡秉宸还是言听计从—— “你是个小仙女而我是个凡人，多年在行政部门工作中混的老手，相信我处理问题的能力，把处理此事的责任交给我，那实在不是文学家的事。” 胡秉宸的考虑是正确的，就像他常对吴为说的那样，不论多么困难的事，只要坚持，也包括坚忍，就是胜利。 如果吴为当时不采取忍让的态度，白帆绝对会像他预料的那样，以此为由制造非常事件，不仅他和吴为的前途更加渺茫，吴为也会更加迅速地坠人深渊。 不论重病在身还是病愈之后，胡秉宸都是吴为誓死捍卫的对象。“我有病，活不了多久，请给我最后的自由”，更是胡秉宸的软刀子，与白帆离婚用的这个口实，与吴为离婚时用的也是这个口实，日常也是惟我为是地要挟，——谁让女人各个看不得她的所爱受苦受难？ 吴为不得不替重病在身的胡秉宸承担来自白帆的反击，更要承担来自白帆与胡秉宸的对手们的联手重击。 她的处境是那样险恶。 不论情况多么艰险，这个无谋无略、胡秉宸心目中“永远的二年级女大学生”，却坚守决不出卖他的原则。只要交出他的一封信，不但可以从如此凶脸的沼泽中拔出她的腿，甚至因反戈一击有功，得到如他周围那些人梦寐以求的机会。 isn't it?胡秉宸刚刚提拔为副部长的时候，至今仍然像隐蔽极深，不到关键时刻不会出面的情报人员那样，从来不事张扬的胥德章、常梅夫妇，立刻带着一瓶好酒前来祝贺。看得出那瓶酒存放了好些年头，更见得开启它的机缘多么隆重。记得他举起那杯酒，并向他们夫妇道谢的时候，心中固然得意，可也不无尖酸地想：他们来得是不是太快，惟恐落于人后？ 吴为却说：“这有什么难？又不是让我去和人家斗法。这个，只要咬紧牙关，什么也不说就是。” 吴为的坚守和白帆的倒戈相比，令胡秉宸感慨万千。如果说白帆的反击尚可理解，那么她的倒戈，可就是不能原谅的、品格上的不贞了。 为此他曾对吴为说：“我已经打算好，如果你因此被迫到农村劳改，我就到劳改场附近租个小屋长住下来，好在现在自由市场可以买到粮食蔬菜，只要我的离休工资照发，这些都可以办到，再订些杂志买些书，住上几年也无所谓。” 不知如此慷慨多情的胡秉宸考虑过没有，要是闹到连离休工资也没有的时候怎么办？在劳改场附近租个小屋住上几年自也无妨，但对吴为来说，代人受过、劳改几年是什么滋味？ 一旦这种局面果然出现，除了退求其次，在劳改场附近租个小屋住下，陪吴为度过几年劳改生涯，不知胡秉宸为什么没有考虑挺身而出，坦陈真相，解脱吴为？ 至于胡秉宸对要求吴为到医院一见惹来的祸事未置一词，不过是因为在这场不亚于你死我活的斗争中，这样的事实在太具体、太琐碎了。有谁见过在寸土必争、炮火连天的战场上：一个指挥官会为一栋在炮弹下消失的房子而感伤，或宁可失去消灭敌人的战机，而让他的炮火绕过那栋房子？哪怕那栋房子修建于三个世纪之前。那的确只是文学家的事。其实吴为的要求并不高，哪怕胡秉宸说一句“对不起，让你受苦了”也行，可是他没有。也许这样的要求，于一个指挥官是太苛刻了。既然胡秉宸已经打算陪她去劳改，又何必纠缠于这样一句华而不实的话呢？ 再说，爱是不必说对不起的，即便到了该说对不起的份儿上，又都成了周瑜打黄盖——一个愿打——个愿挨，活该不活该只有女人自己心里明白。 吴为也没有理解胡秉宸“挥泪斩马谡”的谋略。她像大多数女人那样，在那种情况下，没有识大局的素养。她感到委屈，做不到胡秉宸要求的“你将要做宰相门中的媳妇和二品侍郎夫人，要有这个门第的豁达和气势”。 这不仅仅是调侃，那个在几百年风雨的涤荡中已经剥蚀、退色的门第，影响着胡秉宸的一生，如同吴为两岁时遭遇的那个楼梯。 在权力的争夺中，不该成为、却成为牺牲品的“二品侍郎”，功名已如黄鹤杳然而去，不管胡秉宸意识或是没有意识到，“此地空余黄鹤楼”的怅惘或遗恨以及被人暗算的不甘，已经深烙心底。 不知胡秉宸对吴为的恋情，时感格律平仄的对称和谐之外，是否也杂糅着觅到一个为他肝脑涂地的红粉知己的意外喜悦？ 她的不理解，不期然地成为一个转折。多年来，吴为不甚在意的那些迹象，那些以为是偶发的、桩桩件件难以理解的事，渐渐聚拢，虽然它的映象暂时还很模糊。 只是当胡秉宸再次要求吴为到医院探望时，她无论如何不肯再做那样的冒险。 正是从这个事件开始，她不再像从前那样，每求必应。白帆一定没有想到，倒是这些战争的副产品，对吴为和胡秉宸爱情的杀伤力，比她的正面攻击有力也有效得多。 2 这些舆论当然也不是胡秉宸当年那些“对手”营造的。吴为作为胡秉宸现在的“前妻”，那些做大事的人物，早已失去了对她的兴趣。当初他们之所以对她兴趣有加，不过是为了从她这里打开缺口而已。如今，不但胡秉宸，连他那些“对手”，俯仰之间已成陈迹。 时间岂止是无情，简直可以说是残酷。 3 她也不愿相信这是胡秉宸的作为，虽然他们分开了，她和他的恩恩怨怨却不是一纸离婚书可以了断的。 不过要：是胡秉宸这样运作，吴为也能理解。在大众舆论面前，他也难免尴尬和胆怯，——虽然他一再对吴为说，他从不在乎什么舆论。 按照约定俗成的社会心理，当然是吴为抛弃胡秉宸。因为吴为比他年轻，而他已经年老体衰到了这把年纪，还能如此准确地把握大众的社会心理并运用得从容自如，不能不让吴为叹为观止。 如果真是这样，吴为还会伤心——胡秉宸怎么一点东西也不给她留下？至少让她觉得她对他二十多年的爱，到底没有轻抛一片心。可吴为更多想到的，是那个常常在头上无声无息地掠过，半人半兽，一双眼睛深藏大恨却又美丽异常的神秘影子……每次掠过，都会从她这里带走一些什么，直到一点不剩。有时她觉得认出了它，感觉非常清晰，可又一闪而过，清晰的感觉重又朦胧起来。 它的出现是如此地猝不及防，哪怕是她和胡秉宸做爱的时候，也无边无际地遮拦着她和胡秉宸的生活。 就像少年时在黄土高原丹阳观的大殿下，等待那可依可靠的黄昏如约来到，并期待着独享随黄昏而至的那份孤独时，总会与她一起等在大殿檐下，擦着她的脑门儿飞来掠去的巨大蝙蝠。它们的影子也是这样覆盖着属于她和黄昏的孤守，使她的傍晚变得暖昧起来。 如今，它终于胜利了，报仇雪恨了！ 4 客观地说，扩散这种舆论倒也不是事出无因。像吴为这样一个走到哪里也没法儿不闹出点“丑闻”，厚道一点说是没法儿不闹出点“笑话”的人，这样的“因为所以”不应在她的头，又应在谁的头上？ 好比一个早已洗手不于的贼，一旦人们失窃，在没有水落石出之前，不要说人们首先想到的就是他，就连那真正的贼，也要率先羞辱耻笑他一回，以洗清自己。他明知大家的猜疑，可又无法辩白。若是辩白，岂不中了“做贼心虚”、“此地无银三百两”的套路？ 有朋友说，沦落到这步境地是因为她太呆。但吴为不认为自己呆，她只是觉得不会和人接触而已。 根据她的阅历以及她在遭遇各种大难时的所作所为，绝对应该把她归为胆小怕事那一类，——不是一般的胆小怕事，而是非常地胆小怕事。但她看起来又似乎天不怕，地不怕。一般人很难体会，一个人胆小或是害臊到了无计可施的地步，就会用天不怕地不怕，或是破罐破摔——说是厚颜无耻也无不可——来掩盖这种无计可施的局面。 而在心的暗处，她始终认为世上最大的学问是和人打交道的学问，世上最可怕的东西就是人。你不知道他什么时候、从什么地方、以什么方式下手，不像面对枪炮或是虎豹豺狼，总能知道危险在哪儿、从哪个方向来的，就是一命呜呼，也知道自己是怎么死的。 据说虎豹豺狼肚子不饿的时候并不进攻，人呢，可就不一定要有什么理由，或许仅仅是因为你的存在(存在就难免会有某种成功的可能)对他就是一种妨碍，或许践踏别人也不失为对许多不便张扬的目的一种曲径通幽的表达和叙述，更或许什么都不为，只是你的女婿比他的女婿高了五个厘米……她老是怀着敬仰的心情说，“世事洞明皆学问，人情练达即文章”可谓百年警句，却始终难以融会贯通，只好宽慰自己：一个人，能做什么、不能做什么，那是与生俱来的。 反过来说，一个人之所以成为众矢之的，道理通常是有的。关于虎豹豺狼的理论，不过