1 Although there are now a hundred or even more ways to start this novel, I still use Wu Wei’s words, which happened half a century ago, on that autumn morning in 1948, when Wu Wei passed the tree that roughly six people hugged. When I was an old locust tree, I decided to write the opening chapter of the book written by Ye Lianzi—— "On a gloomy morning, the woman sat by the window and looked towards the road..." Only this one sentence, there is no more after that. This sentence has been around for more than half a century... 2 She had been preparing for this novel almost all her life, but when she was about to start writing it, she went crazy.

Perhaps there is nothing to be sorry about. A case is only meaningful if it creates something related to that case. What is the meaning to others, such as readers? And it's not surprising that there are so many people going crazy all the time.In fact, you can't tell which of the people who are close to you, or who are even closely related to you, is mentally normal and which is not. But Wu Wei's madness has been discussed for a long time. Of course, this is not only related to her being a celebrity, but also because her words and deeds have never conformed to social norms since she was young. Among the people of her time and generation, it was even very immoral.Even people who have only met her once can list her various misdeeds, although modern people will dismiss them.

So her madness, in a weak and need to rely on constant sensationalism to activate the interpersonal society, is really a good low capital, at least for a while - it doesn't seem so depressed.Before she went crazy, she didn't show any clues. On the contrary, according to some of her friends, she even had a lot of fun— Not long ago, she came forward to arrange a birthday party for a senior who had reached the eighth rank and had few cars and horses in front of the door; She just came back from a trip to Tibet and brought gifts to each of her friends. Those gifts are of good quality and can always arouse the unexpected joy of friends;

I also bought myself a set of Italian fashion, which is said to be expensive; Invited guests a few more times, and cooked in person, and occasionally cooked a dish or two, in her unstable cooking record, the taste of the dish is really impeccable; Others said that when they saw her in a grand cultural event celebrating some anniversary, she was dressed elegantly; How can a person who is about to go crazy still have such an interest in the days that have been reduced to dubiousness?In the eyes of others, her madness is really unreasonable—the unfortunate person like Ye Lianzi is not crazy, so what does it mean for Wu Wei to be crazy again?Although on the morning when she went crazy, a reporter called and asked straight to the point: "I heard you have an illegitimate child?"

She put down the phone vaguely.Unexpectedly, more than thirty years later, someone, especially a man, would humiliate her with this thing that tormented her all her life.But she is no longer like the heroine of an American novel more than 30 years ago, with a big red A letter branded on her chest, naked to become the target of public criticism, and she has nowhere to be ridiculed and humiliated by others.If only such humiliation would save her.The tragedy is that her pain is such that the humiliation can neither shake nor destroy. For many years, she even looked forward to such humiliation, thinking that her sins could be redeemed in this way. According to the atonement theory of fighting poison with poison, there will always be a day when she is "released after serving her sentence".What is this kind of phone!She had endured decades of humiliation worse than this, but her soul had never felt lighter, no, not at all.Not only did it not work, but it actually went deeper and deeper.

One day, she suddenly realized that she no longer had extravagant hopes, braced her heart, put away her thousands of sufferings, and clearly left a well-ordered place, and properly arranged the things that can only be related to her. The shame of dying together. Whenever she thinks of these things, darkness and chaos fill her eyes.After the darkness and chaos, a huge, endless, impenetrable stone wall will appear, and gradually, there will be a beam of faint light shooting towards the wall of the stone wall. The color of that shimmering light was exactly the same as that of the dark light she saw a few days after Ye Lianzi's death.On that harsh winter day, I went to the Temple of Heaven Park while the night was still clear, and lingered on the trails that have stored countless footsteps of strange people for hundreds of years.Strictly speaking, according to the instructions of a pseudo-expert who is said to be able to open the eyes of the sky, she should suddenly turn her head when she is frightened by any reason——Suddenly, she was startled by a loud cough flying in the air, and when she looked back, there was indeed a A ray of dark light flashed behind her; it was said that it was her mother's last care and care for her.

On the way home, the sky was still dark, and she walked on the road with few pedestrians, facing the dark sky with her face up.At that time, only the sky above all living beings can cover her pain, and it has to be dark and dark.Except for this dark sky, everything seems to be only a few steps away but hopelessly looking at each other with cold eyes, without any malice, but it really hurts her who is trapped in isolation. As she was walking, she suddenly saw a big "forgiveness" appearing on the sky. The word "forgiveness" is a word that she seldom thinks of and rarely uses. It is indeed difficult to find it after searching all her works.

The word "forgiveness" is different from the word "forgiveness". It can only be interpreted as the other extreme of the extreme crime committed against others, such as forgiveness, forgiveness, forgiveness, etc.That is exactly the typical language of Ye Lianzi, and it is the first lesson she learned from being reduced to misery in her childhood: how to weigh the severity of this world? Isn't this also an answer to Wu Wei's unfilial piety? On important joints, Wu Wei can always see some words or images in the dark. For example, every time I face the stone wall, I will see inscriptions appearing and disappearing on the wall in the dark, engraved with words that are closely related to her and cannot be deciphered.At first, the inscription seemed to have just been engraved on it, but then, as if it had been honed by years of wind, frost, rain and snow, it eroded deeper and deeper into the stone wall, or the stone wall continued to grow like flesh and blood, and gradually the words were painless and painless. Feeling embedded in his own body.

It is an unpredictable, tangible yet invisible, intangible yet very specific force, the result of endless engraving day and night. After that, she quietly ate a breakfast, including a slice of cheese, a slice of toast with butter and jam, a cup of coffee and a glass of milk, and a large pear, and then went to the kitchen to wash the dishes she had used .She brushed it very carefully, and even wiped the gap between the tines with a cleaning cloth for a long time like a saw. By the end of the twentieth century, apart from the British Royal Chef, or the few high-end restaurants that still stick to the old taste, or a stubborn noble family, how many people are still scrubbing the fork teeth when scrubbing the tableware? What about the gap in the middle?

Probably because she is a writer and has a great interest in details. At the beginning, when Hu Bingchen and Wu Wei were still at two extremes where there was no possibility of collision, Wu Wei concluded from Hu Bingchen's standing position that there would be a big drama between them one day. staged. But Hu Bingchen's contacts are completely different.When he knew nothing about Wu Wei, the first thing he knew was her tongue. In fact, with such a long distance, even if he was not in the vast snow, he would not be able to see Wu Wei's tongue, but he has been stubbornly insisting that he saw her tongue.In the vast snowfall decades ago, Hu Bingchen was walking on the deserted field roads around the "May 7th Cadre School", enjoying a moment of "aloneness" when he bumped into a woman standing in the wilderness.

Like most people with experience, he was very used to playing a role in public. But he himself doesn't quite understand that for a person with his background, the general direction can change infinitely, but many details with the most essential meaning and regenerative ability are hard to obliterate.Even if there is a change, it is just a temporary expedient. It can also be said that it is a kind of conscious or unconscious obscurity. Once the environment changes, it will still restore the old self.Because of his persistence or weakness, sobriety or confusion, no matter whether the old self or the role has penetrated into his bone marrow, sometimes even he himself has difficulty distinguishing which one is the real self. It's like this understanding of "being alone".At that time, he had just been freed from the various crimes imposed on him by the "Cultural Revolution". The bitter wind and snow wrapped and whipped him, as if he was in a winter bath, and his internal organs felt a slightly tingling washing from the inside out.While enjoying the cleanliness after bathing, he squinted his eyes and recalled the previous political campaigns. Because of his wisdom, rigor, and luck (is it pure luck?), he never hurt the skin, only "cultural The "Great Revolution" was not spared... Before this, it was not without moments of solitude and reflection, but his thoughts had always been scattered and mixed, but this day flowed smoothly.Perhaps on that day, catkins were flying all over the field, and there was no one left. There was an aura of chaos in the world. Facing the vastness of chaos, it was inevitable that people would have to sink their hearts and talk about it from the beginning. People would underestimate him if they thought he was pitying and fondling themselves.For a person like him who has been immersed in "scenes" since he was a child, this disaster is really nothing. Out of his interest in history, he couldn't help reviewing decades of experience vertically and horizontally as a grand topic. He didn't realize that this review has already become the main theme of a piece of music, it has been and will be repeated in every movement of his life.And every time it appears, it is like the heavy blows knocking on the door of fate in (Symphony of Destiny), repeatedly questioning the doubts of a century. Maybe he is a part of the doubts, and this review begins Doubts, stop at doubts, and finally can't understand. He has been in a state of "continuous cutting and chaos" for a long time. A strong wind swirls on the ground. a feeling of. Since childhood, Hu Bingchen, who was ambitious and outstanding in all aspects, had to let out a long sigh of "Hi!—" amidst the wind and snow.Maybe because of his random thoughts.Maybe because of that snow.He suddenly thought of the few wintersweet trees in the ancestral house, and the faint and muddy green fragrance of the wintersweet. The ancestral house had long since disappeared, disappearing into his future space as if it had never existed.But at that moment, he thought irrationally that he didn't grow up in that house in vain.What he did and what happened to him seemed to have something to do with the old house. Otherwise, I would not have a mood at that time.It was this feeling that made him interested in the woman he met head-on. The heavy snow blurred her figure and the old trees and hills behind her, as well as the mountains, shrubs and fields behind the hills.He only noticed that she stretched her body upwards, stretched out her tongue, and concentrated on catching the snowflakes that were impossible to catch, but he didn't notice that when all the "May 7th Warriors" were stealing snowflakes on this snowy day, While huddling by the fireside to keep warm all day long, this woman was leisurely and leisurely, sneaking into Xue Huan's "wild boat crossing" mood by herself. He immediately turned into another path and climbed up a small hill. While he was sure no one would notice, he stared at the scene for a while and a dog wobbling his head came running from the ridge of the field.She bent down, gathered a handful of snow on the snow, made a snowball, and hit the dog.She missed, but the dog barked with delight. She didn't seem to want to hit it, she just wanted to grab a snowball because of the snow, the dog, and the lack of people. He suddenly had an impulse to grab a snowball and throw it at her, believing that he would hit it.Then he shook his head again, feeling that he was really absurd.Then he left with a smile on the corner of his mouth that even he didn't realize and understood its meaning, and then he forgot about this snowy day and the unique woman in the snow who broke into his vision unexpectedly. But he underestimated the experience of that snowy day. Only in the subsequent encounter with Wu Wei did the scene of this snowy day resurface, and it was often used to prove that his love for her began at that moment, was long-lasting, and had a long history, not because of Wu Wei's later change in status.It happens from time to time that if a person turns and thinks a non-existent thing over and over again, he finally finds a source for it that he himself believes in. And this is indeed a good foreshadowing.At least it shows that his "impression" of her started from then on. 3 Likewise, the details of Wu scrubbing the tines for this one are a bit intriguing. 4 While she was scrubbing the not-so-dirt grime between the fork tines, the phone rang again.She thought it might be that reporter again, so she prepared to answer the call.But it wasn't the reporter, but an acquaintance of Hu Bingchen who hadn't seen him for a long time.He also talked about the weather, stocks, and the future of his children...Suddenly caught off guard and not very surprised, he attacked her, "I don't know if I should say something, but I don't believe it...everyone said You kicked Hu Bingchen and married someone richer and more powerful than him." At first she really thought it was a misunderstanding, "Did people mishear Hu Bingchen's remarriage as me?" Then she remembered, she This is not the first time I have heard such planned rumors.There is another theory that she stayed abroad for a long time and married a "foreigner". She completely abandoned Hu Bingchen, so she never wrote to Hu Bingchen, and he didn't even know her behavior abroad. Could it be that he asked for a divorce many times, even when he begged the prime minister, saying that the letter that the whole family would thank her for her kindness, was not sent to her but sent to an alien planet?Luckily she gave those letters to the lawyer.But is it necessary for her to ask the lawyer to make those letters public, or to photocopy them to everyone who knows them? And didn't she just want to avoid Hu Bingchen's deliberate excuse for divorce - even if a teacup is not placed in the wrong place, it becomes an excuse to make trouble - so she had to follow Tolstoy back then, fleeing outside, having a home that cannot return? In a family, if one spouse has already made up his mind to divorce, then there are too many details to compare a teacup to the wrong place, too numerous to enumerate.For such an endless list, a person like Wu Wei who is only clever but has no strategy is too lacking in competence.In addition to fleeing, "thirty-six strategies, walking is the best strategy", what other shields can resist? Hu Bingchen asked for a divorce, of course there was a reason why he asked for a divorce, but it was just a matter between the two of them anyway! - Did she marry someone richer and more powerful than Hu Bingchen, or did she marry a "foreigner"? It's a pity that she is too old, otherwise it would be unknown if they said she was a prostitute on the street. After Hu Bingchen divorced her, no one knew who was operating such public opinion, and it was very effective. This is the situation she had to face in every detail during her relationship with Hu Bingchen for nearly thirty years, even after their divorce - she was always in ambush from all sides.