Chapter 7 Apologizing takes some art

After the defeat at Gettysburg, Robert E. Lee told his remnants that the failure to win was entirely his fault.Winston Churchill, who had a bad first impression of Henry Truman, later told Truman that he had badly underestimated him at one point—an apology in a brilliant compliment. Apologizing, it can save the crisis, remove embarrassment, get out of trouble, heal rifts, and reconcile damaged relationships.It can consolidate friendship and promote the development of new interpersonal relationships, so that both parties will cherish the relationship that has returned to good after twists and turns.Apologizing, while bowing my head, I have raised myself one step further on the stage of life.

will you apologizeApologizing is also an art, requiring skills and methods. To apologize, you must first have the sincerity and courage to take responsibility.Not only is an apology not a shameful thing, but it can better reflect a person's good character and self-cultivation.Some people apologize with "because" on the left and "assumptions" on the right, emphasizing various objective factors, or shifting the responsibility to others, saying "if it weren't for him... I wouldn't..." and rarely ask themselves whether they are innocent.Such an apology is naturally pale and weak, and it cannot make people feel understanding.An apology must be sincere, and only with sincerity will you have the courage to say "I'm sorry, I was wrong, please forgive me".

It's hard to imagine decades later that "I'm sorry" isn't a late confession.To apologize, you must be good at grasping the right time. You should choose when the other party is in a good mood, such as when he is calm and has a happy event. At this time, he is more likely to accept your apology, shake hands with you, and make peace and get back together.The time should be sooner rather than later.To make an apology, you must be good at choosing the right place. It is best to come to apologize in person, or invite the other party to a place with elegant and quiet environment.

If a direct apology is inappropriate, you might as well make a phone call or write a sincere letter at an appropriate time to express your apology.You can also ask a trusted friend, colleague, or leader to convey the apology on your behalf.In the future, when the time is right, I will come to the door to apologize. Maybe your mistakes have hurt the other party deeply. At this time, you must be sincere and patient.If you can't do it once, you can do it twice, and if you can't do it twice, you can do it three times.When you are about to lose your patience and confidence, you have to think from the standpoint of the other party: If you were you, would you easily forgive the person who hurt you deeply?A drop of water can still wear a stone, as long as you open your heart and treat each other sincerely, "As long as you are sincere, gold and stone are opened", there will be no knots between friends that cannot be solved.

When people apologize, they are often irrationally inclined to find some excuse for their fault.In fact, this will only dilute your sincerity, and you will lose the opportunity for the other party to express forgiveness or tolerance.An apology without excuses can leave both parties with a better sense of themselves.It really matters very little as to how much the apologist should be held accountable for the negligence.Because the more you take responsibility for yourself, the more you will inspire others to take the responsibility you should take on. A sincere apology is the only way to make up for a mistake.An understatement of an apology will make the other person feel humiliated, thinking that you look down on him or that he is insignificant.Some people just learn to say "I'm sorry" and say whatever mistakes they make.Over time, people will alienate you, stop believing and forgiving you.

Although some people are good at talking, they are not good at the art of apologizing.Susan accidentally spills blue ink on Joyce's pink dress in the office.She hastened to make an apology, and apologized incessantly.Joyce reassured her that it was all right.After get off work, Joyce washed the ink off with water and forgot about it.But three days later, Susan saw Joyce and apologized to her again.Afterwards, every time the two met, Susan had to apologize, which annoyed Joyce.She said: "You don't have to keep remembering that little thing. I put it on the back of my mind. If you keep torturing yourself like this, I can't be friends with you." When the other person forgives you, you don't want to I feel always sorry again.

Some people are reluctant to apologize in person out of personal dignity, but they feel sorry for not apologizing to the other party.Therefore, might as well change another way, do a good deed secretly to the other party, let him understand your apology.For example, if you borrow a book from a friend and accidentally lose it, and you are embarrassed to explain it, you can buy another book your friend likes and give it to him, or help him with something that is difficult for him to do.This kind of substitute apology can also enhance people's emotions. Those who apologize are sincere and sincere, and those who accept the apology should also be tolerant.To the apologist, you should sincerely say: "Nothing!" Eliminate all barriers.It is a noble virtue to be strict with yourself and to be lenient to others.

"Sorry!" "please forgive!" "terribly sorry!" "excuse me!" "Trouble for you!" "I'm sorry, it was my fault!" "I blamed you wrong!" "Please tell Mr. Li that I'm sorry for him!" "Please pass this bouquet of small flowers to Miss Wang, and I apologize to her." An apology is a bow to benefit others and oneself, a sincere repentance, not self-deprecation; a perfection of personality, not servility; a maturity of character, not loss of dignity.