Chapter 15 Chapter Fourteen

There is a smell of curry in the house.Holding the document bag in his arms, Qing Jiang pushed open the door of the living room. "I am back." His son Sota, who is in the second grade of junior high school, is sitting on the sofa playing with his mobile phone.Without looking at his father, he stood up, his eyes still fixed on the phone, and went back to his room next door. His wife, Keiko, poked her head out of the kitchen. "You're back. Are you going to eat now?" Well, Qing Jiang complied and walked towards the bedroom. After changing clothes, I went back to the living room, sat at the dining table and ate curry rice.Yesterday was hamburgers, the day before yesterday was pork cutlets, and the day before yesterday seemed to be fried prawns.Since a few years ago, the menu of Qing Jiang's family has put Sota's taste first.Stewed vegetables, cold dishes, etc., have not been eaten once in hundreds of years, because Zhuang doesn't like it.

Keiko had already eaten with her son, and was sitting on the sofa fascinatedly playing with her mobile phone.Even a mother is like this, let alone reminding her son.The advent of the mobile phone era has taken away the fun of family chatting.Recently, Qing Jiang has never seen his son's face directly, nor even heard his voice seriously once. But even so—— Just be healthy, he thought. While stuffing curry rice in his mouth, he recalled the article he read in the university office.That's Amakasu Saisei's blog.In the external link column of Liberty Encyclopedia, there is a link named "NON-SUGAR LIFE (Recent Situation of Amakasu Saisheng)".

Click in and take a look, and you will immediately enter a website.That's right, it's Amakasu Saisei's blog.But the date was more than six years ago.The title reads "Farewell".After a rough reading, the writing is serious and makes people feel overwhelmed. "I plan to travel for a while. "There are many reasons, the most important being, wanting to be alone. "I've been thinking about the family I've lost, and I don't want to do anything but that. "While remembering them, while writing in the blog, I just want to leave the bits and pieces of me and them in some form.

"However, maybe it's finally time to think about the next step. My family is my most precious treasure, but that is in the past after all. Whether it is Yukako and Moe who have gone to the other side, or Kento who has recovered miraculously, For me, it is the past. My son is not the Qianren of today. In the eyes of Qianren today, I am also not his father. People can’t always live in memories, they can only move towards the future, even if only A small step is fine, so that new discoveries will be made. Although I can't be sure, this is the only way I believe. "I haven't decided where to go yet. In short, I want to leave this place.

"It would be great if one day I could make movies again. No matter what happens, no matter what is waiting for me, I am a filmmaker, and this will never change. Finally, I have such an idea. However, I still don't know how far that day will be. Maybe it will take a little time. "Finally, I want to say thank you to my family. "Thank you, Yukako. Thank you, Moe. Thank you, Kento. "You guys saved me from being alive today and wanting to live tomorrow. Thank you so much. "(To those who have read this far) "Thank you very much for your long-term company. I thought no one would want to read this kind of gloomy article, but the response I got was beyond my expectations. Especially those readers who have also lost their loved ones, your messages are inspiring me. It was heartbreaking, but it also gave me courage. Knowing that I wasn't alone in the pain gave me some comfort.

"Friends who work in the publishing house also read these articles and advised me to publish them. Although the text is clumsy, I still want more people to share it. I haven't finished writing it yet. After making up and revising it, it will be great if it can be printed in print. All right. It will be my honor if you still want to read it by then. "As mentioned above, I decided to take a new step. This is a journey to find myself. Therefore, this blog will temporarily stop updating. Next time, I may meet you in a different form. At that time, I I want to write something fun.

"Take care, everyone. Farewell." Based on these alone, I have no idea what happened.The only thing that is certain is that something that has troubled Amakasu Saisheng for a long time has finally come to a decision. Judging from the last note, it appears that this blog was updated regularly at one point.Now that I mentioned publishing a book, it seems that I wrote a series of stories.Then, it is wrong to read from the latest one. It should be reversed and read from the last one. After looking through it, it seems that the original blog posts are still there.The blog was started seven years ago, the second year after the hydrogen sulfide accident, according to the profile on the free encyclopedia.The title of the first blog post is "Seeking Light".

"I started a blog. The reason is as the title says, I finally have the mind to seek the light. "Some of you may remember that a few months ago, there was a tragedy in my family. Since then, I have been left in the dark. "It's only recently that I've been able to face what's happening to me. At the same time, I seem to have a little understanding of who I am. "So, I want to write this down. Write down the moment of despair, write down the moment when I feel a little light again, write down how I live every day now. In this way, can I convey something? Up to now, this is the only job I can do as a person who can barely be regarded as a writer. At the same time, I also hope that this may become a memorial to my most precious family.

"I want to say sorry to the visitors. What I'm going to write below will definitely not make you happy. It's all old men's bloody words. Anyone who doesn't want to read this kind of text, please leave immediately, this is me request." It seems that this is the beginning of the story. The articles so far have used honorifics, but after a few blank lines, the author wrote: "From here on, switch to the first-person novel style." Then enter the main text. The content of the story is extremely cruel. "Five months ago, I went to the Hidaka area of ​​Hokkaido. I wanted to make a movie with the Ainu people as the theme, and I went there to collect materials in order to understand the actual situation of Ainu culture and differences. Producer Yoshiro Mizushiro Join me in the evenings as we smack our tongues over souvenirs and discuss the new film. We agree that it's not a dark socialist work, but a lively film that sees the Ainu from a new perspective .

"On the third morning, a call came. The number displayed on the phone was an unfamiliar number. When I answered it, it was the police. I had a bad feeling. I couldn't get any good news from the police. "'Please listen to me calmly.' "Sure enough, the police officer spoke in a deep voice. At that moment, the word 'traffic accident' flashed through my mind. Could it be that someone in the family had a traffic accident? "But what the officer went on to say was this. "'Something has happened in your family.' "Since it's at home, it's not a traffic accident. Then, I thought about the fire. So I asked, 'Is it on fire?' His voice trembled.

"'No, it was a poisoning accident. Hydrogen sulfide.' "I couldn't hear what the police officer said. No, I actually heard it, but it was completely unexpected, and I couldn't form the corresponding words in my mind. "'Hey, what's that? What kind of accident?' "'Poisoned. It is a very difficult word to say, and your family members have been poisoned.' "At that time, I couldn't even hear the gas poisoning, only the last sentence came into my ears. My heart was beating wildly, and the blood in my whole body seemed to be drained all at once. "'Who? Who's dead?' ' I asked in a trembling voice. "'Your wife and daughter. We deeply regret that this has happened and send you our deepest condolences.' "To borrow an old saying, my mind was blank at the time. I can't remember what happened after that. According to Mr. Shuicheng, I clutched my phone tightly and trembled all over my body. "I dropped all my work and returned by plane. In the cabin, I kept pressing my eyes with a towel, and I couldn't stop the tears. On the way, the stewardess asked me worriedly several times. I am very grateful, but I only Want to be alone. "I was crying and thinking like crazy: why, why? Because this tragedy in my family seemed very likely not to be an accident. "In a state of confusion, I had several conversations with the police officer and finally figured out what happened. The content was true and although I would rather think it was a lie, in the end I had to accept it as fact. "This morning, a man who was jogging in the morning smelled a sulfur smell near my house. He immediately rang the doorbell of a nearby house and asked for the police, because there has been a lot of news about suicides using hydrogen sulfide recently. "The police arrived very quickly. After entering the room, they found that my wife Yukako, daughter Moe, and son Kento were unable to move. Yukako and Moe were confirmed dead on the spot. Kento, who was still alive, was sent to the hospital. Has not yet regained consciousness. "What shocked me the most was that hydrogen sulfide was produced in Moe's room. There was a note on the door saying 'Hydrogen sulfide is being produced'. "Moe planned to commit suicide in the room, but Yukako and Kento got involved. "why? "I want to ask Moe, of course. She is only sixteen years old, why did she choose to die? What kind of pain does she have? "I also want to ask my wife, Yukako. Didn't you notice your daughter's troubles? She was so troubled that she wanted to end her own life. Did you know nothing about it? Why didn't you find any danger signs when you were together all day long? Are you still mother? "Of course, this is just venting anger on others, and it is also an evasion of responsibility. As a father, he has an obligation to detect abnormalities in his daughter. Because he seldom comes home from work, this is not an excuse. I understand this myself. If I vent somewhere, I'm afraid I will lose my mind." The first blog post is over.With something like this happening, it's no wonder you feel left in the dark.It takes a lot of effort just to accept the truth.After five months, he was able to regain his strength, and Qing Jiang was very impressed. The grief of losing his wife and daughter is naturally not difficult to imagine for Qing Jiang who has a son. I am afraid that it can only be described as a nightmare.Maybe even thinking about dying.Thinking of this, Qing Jiang opened the next blog post, the title is "One Heart to Die". "In the mortuary room of the police station, I saw the remains of Yukako and Moe. Both were wearing pajamas. I remembered the clothes, but when I saw the remains, I still couldn't believe that they were my wife and daughter. It can only be for spiritual reasons. "If any of you readers have ever thought of using hydrogen sulphide to kill yourself, don't say anything else. If you want to die anyway, you'd better choose something else. Hydrogen sulphide makes people go peacefully , This kind of statement is absolutely false, otherwise, how could it become completely unrecognizable? That skin color is not the color that human beings should have at all. "According to the criminal policeman who explained the case, all those who died abnormally should be autopsied. However, it is certain that they died from hydrogen sulfide poisoning. "'Do you know the motive of your suicide?' "The detective asked me that, but I couldn't think of anything. My mind was in a mess and I couldn't think." "Moe doesn't seem to have left a suicide note in the room. "'Did you hear about her being bullied at school?' "This question, I can only shake my head. "The criminal police said something even more unbelievable: this is not only a simple suicide case, but also a criminal case. I asked carefully, and it turned out that Yukako and Kento were the victims of Moe's behavior. Moe's The crime is murder and attempted murder. Of course, since Moe is dead and the suspect is dead, no prosecution can be made according to regulations. "The criminal police said that the bad thing about using hydrogen sulfide to commit suicide is that it is very likely to implicate the people around you. In fact, after calling the police, all the residents within a radius of 100 meters from my home were evacuated. Enter the house The searchers were also heavily armed. "The wife and daughter died, and the son was unconscious. And the daughter became a criminal, and the wife and son became victims. Hearing these words, I was even more desperate. When I borrowed the bathroom of the police station, I saw myself in the mirror. I laughed, it was a weak laugh. Maybe I was a little crazy. The criminal police asked me several times outside, worried that something might happen to me. "After I left the police station, I had only one thought in mind: Pick a time and die. There's no point in being alive anymore. I've lost everything I've ever had. Neither the films I've made nor the achievements I've made so far What wealth. I realized once again that the most precious thing I have in this world is my family."