Chapter 71 first quarter

A lesson from Mr. Yabe Police Department: Regarding your question, I think it would be more appropriate to answer your question in writing rather than verbally, because I also want to savor my own feelings again. I think you also noticed that Kuwahara Yumiko speaks with a Northeast accent. In fact, she is from the Northeast. She worked at my hotel for a short time.When I knew she was a model, I wanted to use her. She is a woman who is open to money and will do anything for money. This kind of woman is easy to be used by others, and she will not feel uneasy or condemned by her conscience.She is not an accomplice, because I only gave her money to seduce Kohei Tajima, and did not tell her the whole plan.

I want to take full advantage of her weaknesses.You may think that writing anonymous letters is also a move in my plan, but it is not, it is the idea that Kuwahara Yumiko came up with. She said that she did it for the breakup fee, because she is a woman who regards money as her life, and it is impossible to stop her from doing that. What's more, I also hope that Mariko Tajima will know about the abnormal relationship between her husband and Yumiko Kuwahara, because doing so will allow things to proceed without being suspicious. However, after Yuko Kuwahara sent the anonymous letter, it made me feel very confused, because if I didn't handle it well, it would push me into hell.

Why is there a picture painted by Goto Tsuneo in her shop?Before answering this question, I would like to answer the second question first. Because these two issues are very complicatedly entangled in my mind. You ask, can pure competition kill people?Before answering this question, I think it is necessary for you to understand that I have two personalities.When I was a child, I was very nervous and had a strong vanity. When I grew up, because I saw a lot in the world, I was more measured in how I behaved, and I was regarded as a rational and gentle person. In fact, these two personalities did not change when I was a child.

I became interested in painting when I was in the fifth or sixth grade of elementary school. I still remember that the pictures I drew won bonuses in exhibitions, which greatly satisfied my little vanity. When I was in middle school and high school, I continued to paint. For me, painting is often connected with the satisfaction of vanity. Now when I see the pictures I drew at that time, I can’t help but feel very ashamed. However, at that time I firmly believed that I had the qualifications to be a painter. I think my talent is better than anyone in the same grade, and I am confident that I can draw pictures of any subject. It is also because I am too proud that I only pay attention to painting skills and have no personality. This shortcoming was not found.

After graduating from the University of the United States, I joined the Shinkikai and met member Yukihei Tajima. I don’t want to write about what kind of group the Shinkikai is. I think you should investigate it. Any group has its advantages and disadvantages. Here I am What I want to write is that Kohei Tajima is isolated by other members. Tajima and I got better soon. If you think it's because I ignore academic qualifications, then you're wrong. It's because other members treat Yukihei Tajima with respect, which makes me feel angry. It's not Yukihei Tajima. Because of the special friendship, to be honest, I approached Tajima for another purpose.

Proud and strong people always arrange people who praise themselves. It is based on this mentality that I get close to Tajima. I don't think this is friendship, but a selfish psychology. Among all the members, only Kohei Tajima draws peculiar paintings, and only he lacks the common sense of paint and solvent. In my eyes, he is a compliment to me. Tajima doesn’t seem to have noticed my selfishness. I’m afraid he still thinks I’m his best friend until he dies. His only advantage is that he trusts his friends too much. Tajima and I are very different people. He is a country bumpkin, and I am a well-informed person who was taken care of by my parents and went to bars when I was a student.Tajima seemed to think that I was a great person, and there was no equal friendship between me and him, but a master-servant relationship.

Among the members, only Kohei Tajima is suitable to be my follower. As soon as I have money, I spend it generously with him. In my opinion, he is definitely not my opponent.It is true that he only paints interesting paintings, but he does not pay attention to the painting skills. In my opinion, his paintings have no future, man!It's easy to tolerate people with no future. I came up with the idea of ​​protecting Kohei Tajima.My sense of superiority finally collapsed, because Tajima's paintings, which I thought had no future, began to gain the favor of the world. While I was stunned, I consoled myself like this: "The paintings of laymen are nothing special." However, I still felt very anxious.

I said to myself: "Tajima is not the one who is going to prosper in the painting world, it should be me." I continued to paint paintings that could win the favor of the world, but I couldn't succeed no matter what, which made me feel very anxious, because my Paintings are like photographs, with no personality at all. I have always maintained a master-servant relationship with Tajima Kohei. I know very well that this relationship will be reversed sooner or later. Once he succeeds, I will become his admirer and his follower. This is not something I can bear. If I had regarded Tajima as a brother from the beginning, my sense of failure would not have been so severe. However, I have always despised him, so I couldn't bear the feeling of losing to him.

However, what puzzles me is that the number of people who like Yukihei Tajima's paintings continues unabated. Every time I see news in the newspapers that praises Tajima's paintings, my sense of failure increases even more. At the same time, Tajima Xinghei, who has always been small, has become a big star and overwhelms me, making me, who is very nervous and vanity, feel more and more defeated and jealous. Although I want to ignore his existence, his shadow follows me everywhere. Appearing in front of me, as soon as I picked up the paintbrush, his free and unrestrained paintings appeared in front of my eyes, making my paintbrush lifeless. If this continues, I will inevitably fail.