Chapter 16 Chapter Fifteen

"Weaving baskets and twisting baskets is all about shutting up", Ma Junren has decided to quit.Winter training was cancelled, and food standards plummeted.The base is precarious like an isolated island, and the team members deeply reflect on it.From Wang Junxia's diary to see the mental journey, from the letters of the team members to know the anger of the sky and the grievances of others.Karaoke is sung all night, and secret codes are set up to play tricks.How much was lost and how much was deprived, and how much will be recovered now.Reminiscing about bitterness and thinking about sorrow, mutiny is imminent.

The relentless evolution of life itself finally pushed Ma Jiajun into the winter of 1994.This year, the cold wind and bad snow in the Northeast were particularly rapid.The single building of the Dalian base does not lean back and forth, groaning in the bitter wind and snow.High-class Chinese living in the new area of ​​beach houses and foreigners living in foreign countries complained about the lack of heating.The lonely old Ma Ku sat in the living room, wrapping up his leather jacket tightly to resist the bursts of cold. He smoked one cigarette after another.Since the beginning of winter, there have been few guests visiting this gorgeous and spacious new residence. In the cold and cold, the old horse feels more and more that the western big house is really not as good as the warm kang in the Northeast for winter.

Thinking about the recent chores, one after another, the old horse is distressed, and he is full of doubts about his current life: ——Ma Shihui from Anshan Athletic School sent a newly completed jade carving of sika deer.I didn't stay long in a hurry, turned around and left, why? ——The male team members in the base also disappeared one after another, and there was only one Ning Limin left, why? ——Wang Youfu and his wife said they would go home and have a look, but they never came back. Why? ——I found Liu Dong for nothing, and talked so much at her sister's house. Why didn't Liu Dong return to the team for training after all?

——The Asian Games didn't go very well, but it wasn't bad either, but the number of reporters came a lot less. What's the reason? ——The friends in Beijing who filmed TV dramas just said that it was too cold here, as if there were wolves chasing after them, and they left in the car after filming the scene, without resting, the action was really fast, why did it take one day? Don't wait too long? ——Old members who served in the Majiajun in the past, such as captain Sun Yusen, driver Meng Qingquan, team doctor Zhang Qi, etc., stayed in Shenyang, why didn't they come easily?

——Where is Dalin?Maybe he was really busy.Ever since Yan Fujun was taken away, he has been the only one responsible for major and minor matters of the sports committee and the college in the past few months.Although Zhang Rongming, the vice-governor, is also the director of the sports committee, Dalin has to take care of the actual work.Just doing football and club affairs is enough for him to toss, how can he keep coming here. ——Manufacturers should have come here earlier, and the God of Wealth who should pay has also paid, and those who don’t can’t afford it anyway. When will the lawsuit of "Scientific Cordyceps King" be finished?These days, no serious companies come to discuss business with my old horse.How much money is enough?enough.

——Fuck Yan Fujun as soon as the spring begins, who said that, how easy is it to destroy someone in three days?After all, he is still a mediocre person. What kind of official should I be? Ma Junren, what have I got? ——I didn’t get what I deserved, and I missed so much. There are more and more reports accusing me of Ma Junren, and Wei Jizhong’s criticism of me is also published in the newspapers. The director of the State Sports Commission is now getting more and more angry with Ma Jiajun Embarrass Ma Jiajun everywhere, let me listen to her?Unless the sun comes out from the west!No one should ever try to take advantage of Ma Jiajun, we will never be fooled by anyone again.It's time to see through these things!

——The supreme Olympic gold medal, Ma Jiajun has never won it, it's just a pity, what a pity.But how can we take all the good things.When I was in Stuttgart last year, foreigners were at a low ebb, and we were going to play the National Games in China, which was our peak year, so we were happy to win.The next Olympic Games will be held in the fall of 1996. By then, athletes from all over the world will be at their peak. Can we do it then?Alas, whoever wants to hit him, hit him! ——I, Ma Junren, am 50 years old this year. I traveled from the mountains of Liaoyang to Anshan, from Anshan to Shenyang, from Shenyang to the whole of China and to the whole world. Yes, money has been earned, fame has been made, good houses have been obtained, and the top leaders of the country have been received. It can be regarded as a glory of the ancestors. In this life, enough is enough!

Lao Ma usually has a good saying: Weaving baskets and twisting baskets is all about closing.Think about it and analyze the past: When do we not shut up now?In the future, it will become more and more difficult to do.I once told the press in the past that the three major wishes in my life are to become a world champion, break the world record, and build a middle and long-distance running base.To be honest, this base has poor feng shui, and I didn’t take so much time when I bought it. What should I do?Who will take over this stall?The main concern is not the issue of candidates, who are easy to choose, the young coach Liu Qi, they are all good, they can all work for me first, and I am still in charge, the big power is still in our hands.The main problem is how to develop and utilize this building in the future. To be honest, it cost 7 million yuan to buy this building, and now it has cost more than 5 million yuan. It can be regarded as investment from the public or my Ma Junren Some people say that it should belong to the public. In fact, if the relationship is straightened out, it can also belong to my name, Ma Junren. In the future, the price of this building will definitely increase by more than 5 million yuan.At the beginning, He Boquan bought our intellectual property and gave 10 million. If he paid income tax, he would have to pay 4 million. We repeatedly said that the money should be used for social welfare undertakings. In the end, 1 million was enough. At that time, it was said that 10 million If you want to set up this base, everyone will know that it will save 3 million in taxes alone, and it will be fine.In fact, we did manage the purchase of this building by ourselves from the beginning to the end.At that time, it will be owned by someone else, that would be too much of a loss, and it would be impossible to say anything.But the feng shui of this building is really bad—cough!It's okay, we'll talk about it when the time comes, the key is to stop doing it blindly, we can't do stupid things that waste all our previous efforts.Still that sentence, weaving baskets and twisting baskets, all of them are shutting up, if you can't do it, withdraw!

If you say no, how can you not do it?What is a good way?People in the upper echelons of Beijing enthusiastically demand that we continue to produce results and win gold medals in the next Olympic Games, while the common people are still desperately clamoring for us to win glory for the country and the spirit of the people. ——Withdrawal, there is only one step at a time. If the withdrawal is severe, there will be big troubles. In terms of politics, economy, and reputation, my old horse will suffer huge losses. What is the solution? What a pity, looking around the world, there is a vast sea of ​​people, but there is no one who will give advice to him, Ma Junren.There are so many things going on, no matter how big or small the disputes are, and no matter how good the solution is, at this time, only Lao Ma can plan and make decisions on his own.Up to now, it seems a bit self-sufficient.

The living cannot be suffocated by urine, there is always a way.A safe way is to leave the team and be hospitalized for medical treatment on the premise of continuing to be a good head coach, no longer teach directly, and transfer young coaches to join the team.In this way, we can advance, attack and retreat, and defend, the power is not lost, and we will not bear the responsibility.When it's the big game, I will lead the attack if the team members have good results, and I will not show up when the results are poor. Everyone knows that my old horse is still treating illnesses... When it comes to illnesses, there has been too much publicity, and everyone cares about them. I wrote my resignation last year In the report, there is another article saying that Yan Fujun used administrative orders to make me resign and be hospitalized!Now is the time to be hospitalized.From all aspects, this reason is justified, and it is easy to explain to the superior and the inferior.

That's it - since the beginning of the winter in 1994, Ma Junren has formally asked Cui Dalin, the provincial and Beijing senior leaders to leave the team for medical treatment in various forms. This reason is very valid.Cui Dalin, Sun Yusen and others knew that Lao Ma was going to retreat.No one knows Ma Junren better than Da Lin and Lao Sun.Knowing that the old horse is going to retire, he can only agree, only support, and have nothing else to say. What about the team?Lao Ma proposed candidates, and first brought Comrade Liu Qi, an excellent coach of the provincial track and field team, to Dalian to manage the team and focus on training. If the strength is not enough, then he will be matched. Liu Qi himself expressed his willingness to go to Dalian to temporarily take over the team and do a good job in winter training.Cui Dalin immediately asked the relevant leaders for instructions and reported.It should be a matter of time for Lao Ma to see a doctor. All the leaders hope that Lao Ma will recover soon. Leaders at all levels agree with Cui Dalin's request.He also instructed that the old horse must be properly arranged for treatment. Coach Liu Qi soon received the official notice from Sun Yusen, and immediately made preparations for Dalian. Because the matter is important, it is related to public opinion, and it is related to the training of many world champions. Cui Dalin, who has always been serious, feels that handling this matter should be serious, formal and meticulous. Together, they personally sent Liu Qi to Dalian in order to clarify their respective responsibilities, and the Ma family army was handed over to someone other than Lao Ma to take over. This was the first time that this had never happened before. In the wilderness of the north, the night was dark.At the foot, the Liaohe River, which had already been frozen solid, was cracked by the increasingly severe cold day by day, and the rattling sound spread far and far in the long night.Hills, rivers, coasts, old trees, dark crows, and black soil are all silent in the severe winter snow. The fathers and villagers in the village have all fallen asleep, and the firewood in the kang cave is still warm.After a whole year of work, people slept on the hot kang to death.No one knows how many human stories will happen this winter. On those nights when the telephone line was humming in the cold wind, Ma Junren had already agreed with Cui Dalin and others in the distance that 1994 should not be passed to deal with leaving the team for medical treatment.Ma Junren, who has been running around for half his life, is about to be freed. This will be a turning point of strategic significance in his life.And he retired at the peak of his career, who would know the endless mysteries and troubles! It was finally determined that the specific date for Cui Dalin, Sun Yusen, and Liu Qi to go to Dalian will be the daytime of December 12.From then on, the old horse can recuperate leisurely. It was on the eve of this day that the Majiajun mutiny that shocked the sports world finally broke out.The plan that Lao Ma planned alone all winter failed, and Ma Junren, who was about to be released, fell into the sea of ​​misery again. It's a pity that in that severe winter, the old horse was very lonely, very lonely. On this side, in the base building 5 kilometers away from Lao Ma's villa, there are also many thoughts and worries.The players and their coach seem to have a relative feeling.They finally knew for sure that the old imperial calendar that went to the plateau for winter training in previous winters will undoubtedly be changed this year.Since Ma Jiajun's big victories at home and abroad in the summer and autumn of 1993, the winter has been wasted in a trance.At that time, Ma Junren was immersed in the deep joy after the harvest. When it comes to sports teams, every year in winter training, there must be dripping of sweat. Only when the peak season of competitions in spring and summer comes, can they be as light as a swallow.Winter training is actually an essential infrastructure. Ma Jiajun's 1993 winter training was exempted at that time, and the "adjustment year" was about to pass.The pile of good things is too full.Reported on CCTV, made reports in Hangzhou and other places, went to Beijing to accept Mr. Huo Yingdong's reward, received Mr. He Boquan of Today Group in Shenyang to talk about intellectual property auction of 10 million, hired a lawyer to file a lawsuit with "Science Cordyceps King", and flew to the United States to receive Owen The Sri Lankan Cup Award, preparations for the establishment of the Majiajun Base, and the struggle for financial independence. Zhejiang Shengda, the Chinese Turtle Essence Group, also needs to consolidate cooperation. Overturned, the Shenyang Ma Group was established, and he became the chairman himself... This is the situation, the good things are really overflowing, and there is no winter training?What kind of basic construction are you doing? In the blink of an eye, it is the second winter of 1994, and the closest competition to the present should be the International Marathon held in Osaka, Japan in January 1995.Ma Jiajun had already decided to send Wang Junxia, ​​Qu Yunxia and other five main players to participate.However, the winter training plan was canceled by Lao Ma for no reason, without even mentioning a word.For the players, the nature of the cancellation of winter training this time has changed, and it has become an extremely important signal: the coach is going to be off duty, and he no longer wants to continue leading the team to fight. Since the beginning of winter, Lao Ma has not announced to the team members his plan to leave the team to recuperate from his illness, and various signs indicate that Director Ma will retreat for a long time, his whereabouts are uncertain and mysterious.The more so, the more difficult it is to disperse the dark clouds over the base. The nutrition cafeteria on the first floor of the base is getting worse and worse.This winter's food standard has dropped to the lowest point in Ma's army's history.It is rare to see high-end vegetables, meat and eggs for three meals a day.How can this win the International Marathon in Osaka, Japan?Now that I have decided to sign up for the competition, and the time is approaching, can I run after eating these things? ——According to what the team members later said, at that time, they bought a lot of onions and celery, and they were celery, onion, and celery all day long. !” In order to clarify this matter, I specifically interviewed Sun Youwei, a cook who was working at the base at the time.I asked Xiao Sun about the changes in food standards during that period. Xiao Sun recalled: "Generally speaking, athletes' food standards should reach 16 yuan a day. Director Ma always said that it was not enough. Director Ma often said that sentence He can’t eat poorly and wear poorly, so he has always been very worried about buying vegetables. Sometimes he drives to the Jinzhou vegetable market early and buys wholesale vegetables himself, so he can buy cheaper. So I was asked to cook at the base, one of the reasons is because my father is a marine aquaculture contractor, he has a bigger boat, and several small boats. My family also wants to let the horse guide finally solve the formal problem for me. Work, send seafood to the base a few times, more than 200 catties each time, and sell it to the team at a low price. It is our wish. Before the Asian Games, the team trained intensively on the Yunnan plateau, and the standard of food was improved accordingly. Each person can eat 30 yuan a day No matter how high it is, it won’t go anywhere. Ma Dao recently explained in the newspaper that he lowered the standard because the standard before the Asian Games was too high, reaching 248 yuan. It’s too evil, what to eat per person Can it reach 248 yuan a day? Go down from the plateau and go directly from Beijing to the Hiroshima Asian Games. After returning to Dalian, the standard of food is getting lower and lower, and the team members are angry. I don’t want to buy it. I only have a pot to boil water here, and it’s too late to use. The food standard during this period is about 10 yuan per person per day. It’s definitely not more than this amount. The lowest standard ever. Especially the main team members who have already decided to participate in the Osaka Marathon in January have more opinions. When it is time to eat, I always worry, I am afraid that the team members will blame us, but there is no How are you doing things? They are eating and complaining in the outhouse, and I can hear them hiding inside..." Xiaosun was still young, and after the mutiny, he also left the base and went to the Shenyang compound.I learned about the situation from several aspects, and it was basically the same as what Xiao Sun said, the food standard dropped to the lowest point in history. The team is gradually showing defeat, and any small matter may cause a big conflict.Just like when the husband and wife are no longer of one mind, the other party can't tolerate even a small habitual move.What's more, the conflicts in the Ma family's army have been backlogged to such an extent for many years-onion and celery, celery and onion, is this still a meal during winter training?Want to run an international marathon?Every meal time, there were complaints at the table, which further aroused the dissatisfaction and turmoil of the whole team towards the establishment.Many veteran players believe that this has a direct relationship with Ms. Zhang Juan, the base manager.As I said before, Zhang Juan has a lot of part-time jobs at the base, and she naturally takes care of the daily purchases, and she is the accountant and cashier.The team members discussed in private, either Director Ma had this on purpose, or Zhang Juan had withheld the military salary to harm public welfare.And Zhang Juan was Ma Dao's niece and daughter-in-law, she lived in Ma Dao's villa, and she always traveled with Ma Dao in the same car on weekdays, and Ma Dao definitely didn't know about the food standards. What does this mean?This shows that things have become evil. It means that Director Ma is going to close the mountain. He doesn't care if he wins or loses the Osaka Marathon. He will quit next year. "Eating celery all the time makes me think we eat too much." ! Dissatisfaction with Zhang Juan is sometimes passed on to the old horse. Dissatisfaction with Director Ma is sometimes passed on to Zhang Juan. The obvious lowering of food standards became a direct cause of the mutiny. "Director Ma himself doesn't want to do it anymore" - this basic judgment has gradually become the consensus of all veteran players.Just because they don't want to continue doing it, there's no need to continue to invest in our girls' movies. What's the use of supporting us? The decline of the leaderless Ma family army has appeared. Wang Junxia and her teammates nestled in several huts. Everyone looked back on the past and lamented that things were hard to calm down today. The departure of every male team member deeply touched the hearts of the female team members.It seemed that every time they left, a beam was removed from the building. Wang Junxia and the others are quietly passing around a few newspapers at the moment, including sports tabloids, regular newspapers, and evening papers from various places. The newspapers published the public criticism of Ma Junren by Mr. Wei Jizhong, Secretary General of the Chinese Olympic Committee. .For example, the "Beijing Youth Daily" on November 7, 1994 clearly used such a headline: "Too much management, obsessed with money, too much talk, a little exaggerated-Wei Jizhong criticizes Ma Junren", all kinds of voices prompted the girl They linked their thinking about the old horse with the whole society.The tone of these reports is rather grim: …Wei Jizhong said in an interview recently that sports officials expressed concern about the current situation of Ma Junren, the coach of Chinese track and field Ma Jiajun, especially the fact that Ma Junren is fascinated by money. Wei Jizhong said that under the high pressure of their exaggerated coaches, the world-class athletes under Ma Junren are always in a state of tension and undergoing overloaded training. "Last year we found that Ma Junren's athletes made incredible efforts to break the world record I have suggested to the sports officials to pay attention to this situation and stop this practice.” During the interview, Wei Jizhong also expressed his dissatisfaction with Ma Junren’s current talking too much in public, and he believed that Ma Junren should stop It's a casual way of speaking.He said: "Ma Junren talks too much. We have advised Ma Junren to concentrate on doing something instead of spreading the word about what he has done, and don't care about things that have nothing to do with him." As for "Ma Junren is fascinated by money", Wei Jizhong didn't talk about more content, but it is obviously referring to the lawsuit between the "Scientific Cordyceps King" and Ma Junren who have been "speculated" by the domestic news media since this stage . Ever since Ma Jiajun shocked the world at the World Athletics Championships last year, there have been rumors in China that Ma Junren had conflicts with leading national sports officials.This time, Wei Jizhong, the secretary-general of the Chinese Olympic Committee, made the above comments in an interview with foreign reporters. This is the first time a high-level sports official has made such comments. Obviously, the contradiction has been made public.Although Wei Jizhong's speech seemed very tactful, a discerning person could tell what was going on at a glance.Moreover, when the "Science Cordyceps King" company was in a lawsuit with Ma Junren, it was said that "Ma Junren was fascinated by money", and his attitude was even more clear at a glance. The girls got the most important feeling in the process of passing and reading the newspaper, that is, the high-level sports officials of the country had opinions on Ma Junren. Although they had feelings in the past, they had never made it public. It seems that the situation is gradually becoming clearer now. Once Liu Dong went and never came back, Ma Junren also failed to do anything to him, and everyone from all walks of life sympathized and supported Liu Dong.Ma Junren's rough style can't scare more people.We have to unite against him, what's so great about him? Also, there are a lot of discussion articles that make the girls feel some kind of support.For example, there is an article dedicated to thinking about the economic treatment of members of the Ma family army, and the title is also straightforward: "Don't let them continue to be poor." The article said, "The female players of the Ma family army are all from poor children. I have never even wiped off the cream. I have seen their family situation on TV, the low farm hut, and the poor living conditions. How is it now? Is their family still so impoverished? Are they also like In the past, I couldn’t even apply the cream? The media introduced that the bonuses were used collectively, and the bonuses were used to build bases. It seems that the bonuses issued by the state and sponsored by companies have not been paid to them personally. The living conditions of their families seem to be There is not much improvement. If this is the case, it is a bit unreasonable. There are many singers and stars who acted in a small show have become millionaires and rich wives. Our Majiajun girls win glory for the country and sacrifice so much. They are still so poor Can you make sense?" These discussions and reports really touched the hearts of the girls-"At this moment, the leaders of the relevant parties are going to speak up. Not long ago, it was reported that 10 experts in our country won the National Aviation Gold Award , At the awards ceremony, Minister of Aeronautics and Astronautics Lin Zongtang emphasized that all the prize money will be used for the personal living allowances of the award-winning experts, and no donations are allowed, and no apportionment within the unit is allowed. Two consecutive "not allowed" are used, and the concern makes People are moved. This example has universal significance. Playing for the Majiajun should change the poor living conditions as soon as possible, and the players should also apply cream! Some people may think that poverty is an important factor for the success of the Majiajun female players, and it seems that they must maintain the spirit of hard work. The spirit must continue to be poor. It must be known that poverty can temper people's will, but poverty can also kill talents! Sports stars should not be in love with money, but they will never be in love with poverty. Using poverty to inspire the spirit of hard work is It’s hard to last, and getting rich doesn’t necessarily lead to luxury, corruption, and laziness. Don’t female players run away after wearing cream and living in a good house? Poverty is not Ma’s experience. We have been poor for so many years, and we have How many world records have been broken?" The entire trend of public opinion has effectively promoted the thinking of the Ma Jiajun girls and shaken the management system based on ignorance, poverty and isolation that Ma has painstakingly built over the years. Wang Junxia and the old team members were thinking hard about their future and destiny.They resent the former inhuman life because of the recovery of humanity.Please read some of Wang Junxia's diaries during this period, and let's go down in time. The following diary is not dated, according to the order of the diary, it should be written in June 1994—— ... When it comes to laughing, we can only smile bitterly.It's so hard every time I laugh.We are so tired.The 1993 competitions came one after the other, and I still haven’t recovered from it. No matter how much I rest, my eyes are sleepy. I dare not open my eyes to look at people. Legs become heavy.It is very difficult to complete each class.Especially when doing jumps, I have a splitting headache.I can't wake up every day without an alarm clock.Dreaming is all about training. Every time I wake up, my first reaction is that I have to train again. It would be great to sleep a little longer, and after every few classes, I will have a fever... From June 1st to June 5th, 1994, the National Championships and the Asian Games Trials... This competition was not good on the whole. Everyone's fighting spirit was not tenacious, and they lost again and again. From the momentum, it was very worrying. The most important thing was The reason is that everyone can't cheer up ideologically and psychologically.Seeing this situation, I was very anxious and hoped that Director Ma would calm down quickly, otherwise the whole team would collapse. ... I've been feeling very irritable these days, and I almost have the idea of ​​committing suicide, but when I think of my parents who have gone through so much hardship, I hesitate again.I really can't bear to leave my unfinished business, I still want to play in the Olympics, and there are still so many unfulfilled dreams!I always express my sadness involuntarily. I found that not only me, but also many teammates have different degrees of pessimistic thoughts. Maybe we have all grown up... When I am running, I am a confident and proud deer. Without the ability to run, I would be useless.I feel infinitely melancholy about the current situation... I feel that I have not cooled down until I yell. The conflict between Ma Junren and the team members is gradually escalating, and Jun Xia's diary is thrilling: June 7, 1994, Tuesday, sunny... Thinking of our situation, it is really bleak, but I want that kind of energy - can be killed but not humiliated!As long as I have breath, I will defeat you and let you know the supremacy of human beings!I will make you pay double what you owe me.Can you escape?It's up to your luck.There is a limit to my patience.I don't think you can escape a me who puts death on the line! June 24, 1994... I can hardly find my own value, I don't know who I am living for.The whole brain and body are numb, there is no time and space, no chance to examine myself, I always want to find a friend to talk to, and even more want to find a shoulder to lean on and cry aloud, so that my heart can get a little bit of satisfaction. On August 15, 1994... I was stubborn and tortured myself all the time, and my painful heart was about to be unable to bear the blows one after another.The seemingly complete body has begun to sway.I don’t know when the “gudong” will fall and I won’t have to sigh... I was driven crazy, I was driven crazy under long-term depression and endurance... The matter is a foregone conclusion, who will pick up these broken copper and broken tiles Together, who will bear this unmanageable mess? On August 26, 1994, at night, I really don’t know what to do now. I just practice, eat and sleep blindly every day, which is monotonous.Even if I keep silent and don't make mistakes, I will be attacked by his vicious words.I'm sick of it all.I was so tired, I knew it clearly, but I was powerless to resist, so I could only endure silently.Just imagine, how much ability a person has (again), he is not valued, but he is restrained and criticized everywhere.No matter what I do, what I hear is derogatory. Who is not disheartened and full of melancholy?what should I do?What should I do! The following diary entry expresses Wang Junxia's desire for knowledge and her reflection on the past: On November 13, 1994, it was sunny and cold.After reading some reports by Xie Jun, I was deeply moved (touched).Similarly, young people of our generation have already picked the wreath of career success.This is the pride of Chinese women, the pride of all Chinese people, and the pride of the entire Eastern world.Xie Jun studies very well and can speak fluent English. I am both envious and ashamed. At the same age, I know nothing about English, and the horse guide team has never organized learning.I'm just an athlete, otherwise I'm an imbecile, I'm eager to learn and improve myself, but I don't know where to start, I feel inferior because of my childishness and ignorance.God really can play tricks on people. He gave me the talent of long-distance running, so that I won the world championship smoothly, broke the world record, and won the Owens Trophy that many people can't even imagine, but I have a kind of person The feeling of being unbearably cold at a high place.Now the era of studying has left me, it seems to deliberately retaliate for the good time I wasted, which makes me deeply regret and regret that I didn't learn anything at the beginning.How much I want to have that dream-like knowledge, so that I have a world to express myself in every space.It's really hard to imagine that I, who is brilliant in the sports world, have very little knowledge in my head.Poor thing, all I have is impatience (Nai), I don’t have a proper place to study, I can’t find the door to enter the book, bumping here and there, and finally I can’t stand (Nai) with a long sigh stopped.It’s like someone running, full of confidence at the beginning, but when the gun is fired, his legs feel heavy, he can’t run no matter what, and he is in a hurry. In the end, he is exhausted (too) exhausted, and he has not yet won the ranking. The whole effort is in vain, alas! During this time, Wang Junxia and the others' attitude towards Ma Junren was not only angry but also indifferent.Less than a month after the Majiajun mutiny, Wang Junxia wrote: November 17, 1994, cloudy, no rain. Bo Xilai, the mayor of Dalian, was going to visit the base.Director Ma passed the news to our ears, so everyone was busy, as if undergoing a sanitary inspection, we wiped, swept, and dragged in the corridors and dormitories... Director Ma got angry again, This is customary.As early as we expected, I really admire us boys and girls. After a storm, we just sighed and started working calmly. We have reached home in cultivation, because everyone knows that it is not worth it It's hard to get angry with someone like him. ——This is the calm before the outbreak of the war. On December 9, 1994, only three days before the mutiny, Wang Junxia wrote: In the blink of an eye, it has been more than three years since I came to Majiajun... I kept asking myself, what should I do?My mind went blank.I found that I couldn't adapt to the suffocating public places. I like to be casual, but I have to hold myself up and pretend, and everything I do is inversely proportional to my state of mind.I really don’t like those bondages. I’m willing to give up everything I have now in exchange for the freedom and joy I used to have. Now I’m even more tired. Now I’m not happy for my honor at all, but regret it. It would be nice to be light, although there are many people who envy me and surround me, but I am lonely, I don't know how to talk sweetly, I have few close friends, no one can accept me in my heart, I am going crazy, the pressure in my heart Too big is too big.I just hope that in the future, I can be peaceful and quiet, and my next life will be flat and not brilliant! In this land, we see that the sports career of Illuminating Humanity has been completely distorted, dismembered and alienated.They are looking for the face of sports itself. When Wang Junxia and her teammates handed me the diaries written with blood and sweat one by one, they looked solemn and serious.It is not easy for a person to bid farewell to the nightmarish past soberly. It requires rationality and courage. When veteran team member Li Ying presented her materials, she attached this letter to me: "... When I promised others, I would try my best to do it. I mobilized my friends to rummage with me, and finally found a little record about that time. It may be useful as a starting point for your investigation and research. Please use the information provided by me carefully. We no longer need the cheap sympathy of the world, we have already experienced the pain and tasted the suffering, it is not as simple as swallowing a glass of hard liquor. What I sincerely hope is that you can delve deeper, Expose the truth, warn future generations, wake up people, and avoid similar incidents from happening again." Two old team members wrote two letters to friends in Shenyang on December 5 and December 6, 1994, half a month before the mutiny. Since the base was far away from the post office in the development area, they were not sent in time. Soon the mutiny finally became a reality. This letter has been left unsent.In the letter, we can see the desolate and angry mood of the team members on the eve of the mutiny.One of the letters, dated December 5, stated: Wang Junxia's diary recorded by Zhao Yu ...Since the day I left Shenyang and left you, I am no longer the original me. A word, a song will remind me of sadness and make me cry silently.I really miss you so much. Since arriving in Dalian, the idea of ​​escaping from the sea of ​​suffering has been lingering in our minds.I don't want to mention our coach here. If I was grateful before, what about now?Alas, now our life is getting more and more difficult every day, it really feels like years, and he is also getting worse, mentally crazy, who in the outside world can believe all the suffering we have suffered?Now, I don't care about grades, money, or reputation anymore. What's the point of this kind of life? He is better than us in being a bull or a horse, and he is better than us in a dog!Now this group is in name only, and the old ghosts (the original one, the same below) basically do not lead us to practice, basically do not practice every day, and have gained a lot of weight.Unity is strength. The larger members of our team are basically holding together and are trying their best to discuss what to do.The old ghost didn't want to do it for a long time. He wanted to pretend to be sick and be hospitalized. Someone else would take us and he was still manipulating us behind the scenes. , insidious method.His every word and deed will make us sick, so how can we get along for a long time?We can't stand it anymore, it's hard to predict what the outcome will be if we continue to mess around, it's a pity to waste time, we're thinking about what to do next, I've had enough! ! ! ——Three exclamation marks, and a sentence at the end: Please do not reply. The letter to be sent by another veteran team member was written on December 6th. I was thinking, why did Ma Jiajun's teammates write letters to friends outside at almost the same time?This can only show that they already had a premonition that the mutiny was inevitable, and hoped for spiritual assistance and final understanding from the outside world.The letter said: Who can predict our future?The future is too bleak. Ma Dao is harsh for no reason. He blames and beats us all the time, which makes our hearts cold. We can’t tell which day I did something stupid. Please don’t blame me. I really don’t want to continue to live in such a depressed way. .这么多年来我们得到了什么？又失去了多少女孩子拥有的纯真！虽然我们曾经为祖国争得过荣誉，可这能代表什么呢？因为马导变态，我们也不想再出名，再为祖国努力了！祖国和人民不会理解我们，我们的牺牲是无谓的牺牲，又何必呢？我们的后果谁能想到呢？教练一点儿也不为我们着想，我们又何必再顾什么师徒之情呢？我们为他打江山创名望，可他没说过一句让大家安慰的话！ ……马导看到我们这样也要整我们，现在我们也不知怎么办才好，只有等待时机了，不过我们已经下定决心，今年一定要把这个问题解决了。 啊，为什么老天爷不睁开眼睛看看我们这些苦命的孩子？为什么要同我们一生的命运开玩笑？现在已经是深夜一点多钟，我还在给你们写信，我的心难以平静，眼泪像断了线的珠子落下来。我不敢多想，更不敢设想未来，我真的好怕，在这儿没有任何事情使我高兴，我恨透了。有一次马导亲口讲，你们都是活驴！他还总羡慕别人的师生感情，你们的教练、人家别的教练像他吗？我真想让他看看离开他我们有多自立。我们并不比任何人差，我们都好了以后，气死那个变态的老鬼！现在我们都在混，他一天也不管我们，愿意练就练，不练也没人管，现在体重已经达到该宰的小猪了，你说可怕不？男的都散伙了，现在整个大楼空空荡荡的，简直都不像个集体了。马导要是明白些，就快点解散了算了…… 所有队员都是从思考自身命运开始，以不满现状怨恨老马告终。她们还小，她们不可能学会分析更深刻的原因，她们看不到老马同样也是受害者。一位老队员效仿马宁宁的做法，给家中父母灌了录音带。她在录音时哭泣不已： 我要通过录音这种方式，向家人诉说明白。你们是不会理解也不会体验到我在这个组的心情的，更不会用另一种眼光，去审视马俊仁这个人。他简直就不是个人，他是个禽兽，他是个虐待狂，神经病！他对我们的处理手法总是那么狠毒。冯文慧和古冬梅跟他那么多年，没有功劳还有苦劳，可是他为了他家的两个亲戚，硬是给她俩从沈阳挤兑（对）到偏远的鞍山七矿，这对她俩来说，是多么不公平，而我们的下场可能比她们还要惨！我们退下去能干什么？没有钱，没有文凭，我们什么都干不了。在这个组，只有伤害和痛苦，每一种伤害，都是那么刻骨铭心，每一种痛苦，都是死去活来。我对往后的人生道路已经彻底绝望了，我只是一天一天盼着，盼到死的那一天！ 我不厌其烦地摘录马家军队员们兵变前的日记、信件和录音，我觉得只有如此才能最真切地表达她们当时的心情和思想，任何第三者的描绘形容都无法与生活的真实相比拟。在写作中我的心情是很痛苦的，我绝不想伤害老马伤害任何人——在使用这些材料时我已经尽可能地回避了队员们许多对老马较直白的不雅语言。随着岁月的流逝淘洗，队员们的心会渐渐平静下来，时间正在抚平她们心头的创伤。可是，如果我们要探求她们当时内心世界的全部真实，却只有依靠这些留给历史的记录。 基地大楼在寒风中呻吟着，颤抖着。 马俊仁这些日子来基地实在太少。他住在别墅里，他对于队员们的沉痛反思并没有太多的察觉，队里竟然没有人像过去那样及时向他打小报告，以至于事到最后关头他还什么也不知道。他整天的事务就是打长途电话，说看病的事，安排前来接任的新人。 然而基地女队员们对老马的声讨正在毫不犹豫地展开。除了一支支唰唰作响的笔在日夜奋笔疾书以外，明里暗里的小型声讨会夜夜不停。睡觉晚了无人催问，黎明不起但睡无妨。谁也别管谁，你自己还顾不住自己呢！ 前途、命运、金钱、爱情、自由、独立，似乎从来没有想到过的所有严重的问题，一下子推到了每一个人的面前。 人在最后抉择的时候就要陷入褊狭的回忆，而回忆却是非常惨痛的。 “声讨会”往往在毫不在意的情况下就开了起来，而且开得有声有色。姑娘们七嘴八舌，专拣忘不掉的屈辱激发自己的愤怒，以证明愤怒的正确。她们说： ——在云南高原训练，只是因为王军霞带队跑在集体前头稍稍快了点儿，马导就骂她是想在记者面前出风头，要给她点儿颜色看看，就地痛打王军霞一顿，毫不给世界冠军留情，对着摄像机的镜头也要打，“就是要打给记者看！” ——吕欧长得出众一些，马导就要治理她，丝毫不顾忌女孩子的自尊心，除了一顿皮肉之苦以外，还亲自动手给吕欧推了一个大光头，“我让你再发贱！” ——痛打曲云霞，不过就是因为曲云霞吃饭时显得为难了点儿，饭在嘴里打转，实在咽不下去。马导就往狠里揍，“让你再吃不下去！让你再不好好吃！”其实，是因为曲云霞跟别的教练多说了一句闲话。 ——刘丽是个勤快的资深老队员，马导往床上一躺，伸直了双脚，总是刘丽上前擦脚、剪指甲、抠耳朵、洗袜子，就好像伺候一位老太爷。在打曲云霞的时候，刘丽仅仅表示了一点点不理解，马导就说她“你牛×什么！”掉头把刘丽痛打一顿。 ——运动员的肝病已经到了疼痛难忍夜不能寐的程度，偷偷去医院看了一回病，回来就难逃劫难，人人过关，“打不服你不算打！”刘丽被打成乌眼青，还瞒哄家里大人说不小心被桌子碰的。 ——那一年在云南高原训练，有一个小队员名字叫王小男，因为跟不上队，马导冲上去把王小男痛打到泥塘里，直到浑身是泥是水，打得王小男没处躲，没处藏，直往树上爬，脸已经被打得变了形，直喊救命，没人敢救。马导说，这叫强化训练。 ——李颖是从鞍山第一个跟马导来到省队的老队员，资格最老。因为李颖在组里跑得不是特别好，没有给马导争光争气，马导抄起大木板子就朝李颖头上打，皮开肉烂，鲜血直流，队员们紧急送往医院抢救，到现在李颖头顶上留着鲜明的三角疤。 ——还有一个小队员叫谷亚男，受打不过，连续逃跑三次，每次都被抓回。有一回马导亲自追到火车站，上了车一直找到最后一节车厢，找到谷亚男，笑嘻嘻连哄带骗抓回来，照打不误。马导用树条子蘸水猛抽谷亚男，把谷亚男脸上抽得全是血印子，长期消退不下去，谷的父母得知以后号啕大哭，要告马导毁容罪，经过多方做工作才算平息。谷亚男只要看见马导，就浑身打哆嗦。 ——吕亿摸着自己脖子后面的大疤，感慨地说：这是我在马家军留下的永久纪念。 ——为防止队员身上有钱，多次烧毁队员应得的工资，最后一次烧了十几个人的全月工资，共计两千余元。 ——在队里几年来，从马导一个人嘴里，我们已经把世上最肮脏、最难接受的脏话听遍了。做俯卧撑他不满意，就骂我们说：“起！起不来啊？你爸和你妈在家里大炕上就这样笨吗？” ——在训练中，跑得落在后边，马导大骂：怎么啦？跑不动啦？今晚上该给你过过电啦？非找几个大老爷们操坏你不可！ ——在大院时唯独他不准我们到文化课堂听课，每周三个半天的文化课，马导的队伍从不参加，求知的欲望被剥夺。 ——扣留我们所有人的奖金，控制在他一个人手里，你想要钱吗？只有俯首帖耳唯命是从了，否则不给。 ——哪里有压迫，哪里就有反抗！ ——我们是人，不是畜生，不是赚钱机器…… The mountain rain is about to come and the wind is all over the building. 基地大楼就是一座即将爆发的活火山。 老马已经坐在了火山口上，他过低地估计了队员们的力量，他认为这帮小姑娘没什么了不起，哪一回不是整得她们服服帖帖？除非背后还有特殊人物做后盾！——其实哪儿有这样的人呢？ 是的，后来的事件曾经使无数善良的人们疑虑重重，许多人总是认为：马家军兵变，令人意外，小姑娘们懂什么？肯定是背后有人指挥策动，不然她们哪儿来的那么大胆子？中国总有那么些人要破坏民族的事业，从背后捅老马的刀子！——哪儿有这样的人呢？ 实际上只是马家军从内部爆发了无畏的抗争。 这种抗争是无法遏制的。在兵变爆发之前，姑娘们所采用的抗争形式也是稀奇古怪，多种多样，甚至有些不可思议。比如，当时的队员们对老马很仇恨，又一时没有宣泄的办法，就借助中国农村中最古老的“咒人法”，用剪刀把老马剪成小纸人，写上名字，用锐利的钢针扎，用唾沫唾，或者把纸人日夜压在床脚下，垫在床铺最底层。兵变以后，有队员匆忙间收拾行李，来不及把纸人处理干净，竟被老马发现，把个老马气得实在不知道说什么好了。他愤怒地对我说：把我铺在床褥子下头，她们这是干什么？这是耍流氓嘛！纯粹是女流氓！ 在那些最后的日子里，队员们与外界的年轻朋友已经多有联系。这些朋友又是如何进入这座大楼的呢？队员们用什么办法告知外界老马在不在队里呢？老马在，人不来；老马走，人就到——这是姑娘们用各种暗号联络的结果。最常用的办法就是，老马开着奔驰车刚刚离开基地回了家，姑娘们就在朝着大马路的阳台上挂出了预先订好的信号——红色的运动衣裤。 朋友到达基地附近时，先从远处眺望，看看那阳台上是否有红色运动衣在寒风中飘荡。这情景有点像抗日军民对付日本鬼子的“消息树”，又有点像国共两党在早期严酷的斗争中地下工作者常常摆在窗台上的一盆花。如今是和平年代，姑娘们为了向朋友倾诉，为了朦胧的爱情，为了酝酿新的行动，采用了这样奇特的举动。 后来我与姑娘们多有接触，意外地发现她们中有不少人竟会唱新歌。这在别的运动队是很自然的，马家军的姑娘们会唱就有些令人不解。一问方知，还是在那段时间里，老马回家不在楼中，姑娘们围在王军霞受赠的一台电视机前，不知疲倦地观看久违了的各类节目，直到出现“晚安”、“再见”的字样。光看电视尚不过瘾，就有人从外边借来了录像机，与电视接通后，放入卡拉OK的录像带，彻夜大唱卡拉OK，直唱得东方欲晓，新歌唱成老调，人人嗓子冒烟。她们太需要连号带叫大唱出声了，她们的生活太无聊，太压抑了。这事儿在当时，老马居然一无所知。这也是姑娘们与现实抗争的一种特殊方式，算一种人性的宣泄吧。 马家军的核心正在发生着剧烈而深刻的变化，人格曾有多少扭曲，姑娘们就要追回多少坦荡；人性曾有多大压抑，姑娘们就要换回多大释放；人道和正义被摧残到什么程度，姑娘们就要匡正到什么程度；劳动的价值曾经失去多少，而今就要讨回多少；自由被强权所剥夺，而今就要破坏强权还我自由；人的尊严被贬损殆尽，责任者也将要尽失尊严；世上曾经有多少虚伪，迟早就会有多少真诚——谁也无可回避了，人格、人性、人道、正义、爱情、自由、尊严——天啊，这些至高无上亘古久长的深重命题，如今在这帮小姑娘身上竟然体现得如此集中强烈，如此切肤直感，如此刻不容缓。 在中国，年轻而又奋斗着的女性们，所要夺回的，正是这些本来应该得到的东西。除了这些，她们还稀罕什么？人身依附？醉生梦死？At the mercy of others?上下五千年，纵横千万里，而今，新一代女性正在走向成熟。马家军的姑娘们什么都见过了，什么伪善都不灵了，什么大仙都不信了，什么说教都听不进去了。说到底，时代的演进，最终演进着中国女性的独立和解放。女性的命运，只有觉醒才能自己掌握。 The mountain rain is about to come and the wind is all over the building.