Chapter 14 Puji Town, Beijing, Shantou and others

The pain always stimulates me restlessly, I only have to endure, grit my teeth and endure, not letting myself cry out because of the pain, I will not cry out because of the pain.The pain made my heart beat fast, and I was worried that my blood vessels would burst due to high blood pressure. On the morning of the 12th, I also measured my blood pressure with an electronic sphygmomanometer. The high pressure was 148 and the bottom pressure was 98. I don't know why, in the pain, I suddenly think of those places... Puji Town, the dusty Puji Town, is located in a corner of the Guanzhong Plain, with a clear but vague face.It was the first county town closest to the army after I became a soldier.It is very small, with only one street running through the county town, and it can be finished in a single piss.Although it is messy, it is always steaming, like a steamer that has just been uncovered, and the high-pitched Qin opera will always reach my ears through the flying dust.At that time, I was only 18 years old, an age who didn't know the heights of the sky and the earth.

The time in Puji Town was still so pure, without a trace of impurities, even though he was punished by the army for his mistakes.I would imagine the sky as an ocean and myself as a boat in the ocean.At that time, there was a girl far away in Hangzhou whom I had never met, who moved me.I remember that her name is He Guoting, a girl who is disabled but strong enough to write poetry. We wrote letters and encouraged each other to move forward.She said she was a boat in the ocean.In many disheartened days, she gave me strength, and she made me never give up on my ideals.Thinking of her now, is infinitely sentimental.Over the years we have lost touch and I wish her well on this dark night.

At that time, I would sit on the fence behind the barracks in the evening, look across the large wheat fields, and look at the dusty Puji Town, imagining a sacrifice.In the wheat field right in front of me, our air force fighter plane crashed, the pilot body of that fighter plane was burned, and only a charred head was left in the end. The comrades found that head and hugged it back... …he made me examine the meaning of sacrifice time and time again throughout my long military career. Puji Town, you are the most ordinary county in China, but you miss me so much.At this time, I think how happy it is to be able to sit at a dirty stall on the side of the street and eat a bowl of Liangpi or a bowl of steamed buns, how precious that kind of ordinary happiness is, but they are so far away from me at this time. far away, unattainable.

... The first time I entered Beijing was in the summer of 1988. Introduced by Xie Pingwei, I went to help work in the "Kunlun" magazine of the PLA Literature and Art Publishing House.I arrived in Beijing in the evening, and the huge Beijing city made me excited and inexplicably terrified.I never thought that I would step into this city, the capital that my father yearned for all his life.In my confusion, I found Qiao Liang's home in the air force compound according to the address written by Xie Pingwei.At that time, Qiao Liang was already a famous writer inside and outside the army, and he warmly received me.At Qiao Liang's house, I drank red wine for the first time, and it took many years to taste that glass of red wine.The next day, Qiao Liang sent me to the Liberation Army Literature and Art Publishing House and handed me over to Haibo and the others.

In the "Kunlun" magazine, I learned a lot, I opened the door to another world, and I suddenly discovered how wonderful and novel this world is. It can be said that my literary journey started from here.During the day, I read manuscripts; at night, I revise my first novella "Ring of Fire".Haibo asked me to revise it over and over again, and gave me comments again and again.He is a perfectionist, and he is so harsh on every novel, almost cruel.It is also because of this that he has won the respect of many writers in the army. I have rewritten "Ring of Red Fire" more than 20 times. At that time, there was no computer, and I wrote it on the manuscript paper with a pen. Every time I revised it, I copied it again. A novel with more than 30,000 characters is equivalent to writing it after the final revision. More than 600,000 words.Although it was not published in "Kunlun", it made me understand how to write novels, which is also my most effective literary training.

The People's Liberation Army Literature and Art Publishing House is the cradle of army writers, and it trained me.At that time, many authors helped work here, in fact, they learned how to write and behave here.Many people who help work here, when they come to Beijing, come here to have a look, and regard this place as their mother's home.I remember one time, the poet Ma Hesheng, who had just changed his career, broke into the editorial department one night, opened a camp bed and stayed here.That night, we found a tavern, drank some wine, and heard him talk a lot about his help in the editorial department of "Kunlun".When he said these things, there was a metallic luster in his eyes. He always hoped that he could be transferred to work in the Liberation Army Literature and Art Publishing House, but he failed. This became the greatest regret in his life.

Beijing, a city full of culture in every grain of dust, a city so big and irregular, makes me, a ignorant mountain native, feel warm.When I think of Beijing, I will think of those nights when I was standing alone in the hut alley of Xishiku, breathing the slightly smoky air, imagining myself as a small fish strayed into the sea, free and at a loss; sometimes, I would also stand at the door of the Xishiku Church, feeling a kind of power calling me. I don’t know if it is the power of God. go through that door.I will also think of those teachers who cared for me: Ding Linyi, Guo Xiaoye, Cheng Butao, Li Xiaohua, etc.

... Shantou is always full of fishy smell in my memory. The strong smell of the sea makes me sad in this situation.What a wonderful place that was, and where I spent the longest part of my military career.Many mornings, I would walk to the airport amidst the bright sunshine and the roar of planes, experiencing hard work and happiness with my comrades-in-arms, sweat dripping from my head and face, dripping freely... There is joy and pain in that place.Many times, what I give to others is never as much as what others give to myself, including friendship and love.Thinking of Guo Zuozhe, Chen Yuezi, Zhuang Yilong, Wang Ya, and Liu Guishu, I always feel sorry for them because of their simplicity and kindness, and because they always help and comfort me in my most difficult times.In that materialistic place, I am lucky to have so many sincere friends.Now, I think of that place, those people, like a dream.I also remembered the bar called "Libao". At that time, I often sat alone in a window seat, looking at the scene on the street outside the window in a daze, hoping that a girl would cross the zebra crossing on the street and come. To the Liberty bar...it all became so unreal in my pain...

... There is also Sanya, which is one of my favorite places. In the past few years, almost every winter, I have to go to the place.The sky and sea there fascinated me.Thinking of Sanya, I naturally think of the food there. My favorite food is cuttlefish and eastern goat... Thinking of food, I want to swallow, but now I have no saliva to swallow, and my mouth is full of sticky things. He just opened his mouth helplessly like a fish about to die of thirst.Am I going to die after thinking about the perfect meal?No, no!My luck has been so good!That's right, my luck is indeed good, otherwise, how could I have picked up Li Ka-shing's son Li Zekai's wallet while on vacation in Sanya?It was a coincidence that my wife and I went back to our room after dinner that night to change for a swim.Unexpectedly, I picked up Li Zekai's wallet at the elevator entrance.When I returned the wallet to Li Zekai with my own hands, I was full of pride... Last winter in Sanya, the sun was still so good, and I lived with Xuecun and Jukai that night in a hotel-style apartment in Dadonghai to write.I remember the scene when we went swimming in the sea every afternoon; I remember the scene when Wang Yiqing and Yi Qiuyu came to see me from Haikou; Ju Kai's smile is frozen in Sanya's memory, so soft and so far away, like a cloud, drifting away in this dark night, it's a pity that I didn't talk to her much, what a pity when I think of it...

... Are those places I have walked through still the same? My nostalgia has become so long and unrealistic. I don't want to die in pain, I want to grit my teeth in pain and live...