Chapter 7 Chapter VII Understanding

Pug hurried across the courtyard. Princess Karin sent a message asking him to come and meet her in her garden.It was the first invitation since the girl had left an angry meeting, and Pug was worried and eager.No matter how conflicted he might feel inside, he didn't want to get stuck with Karin.Since his brief discussion with Kellern two days ago, he had had another long talk with Father Tarry. The old pastor took time out of the duke's busy duties to talk to the boy.It was a wonderful conversation for Pug, one that rediscovered his sense of himself.The old pastor's final advice is: Don't worry about the princess' feelings and thoughts, but experience and discover your own feelings and thoughts.

He had taken the priest's advice, and now he knew what he would have to say if Karin brought up the 'understanding' between the two of them again.For the first time in weeks he felt like he had a direction—and even though he didn't know exactly where it was leading, he would keep going. He ran to the princess's garden, rounded the corner, and stopped. It was not Karin standing there but Ser Roland.With an imperceptible smile, Roland nodded. "Morning, Pug." "Good morning, Roland." Pug looked around. "Waiting for someone?" Roland asked, with a slightly provocative tone in his voice.He casually placed his left hand on the hilt of his sword.Apart from the sword, he was dressed as ever, rich trousers and tunic, green and gold, and high riding boots.

"Yes, actually, I'm waiting for the princess," said Pug, challenging his politeness. Roland feigned surprise. "Really? Ms. Guinness seems to have said it, but I heard something happened between the two of you..." During the past days, Pug had been avoiding conflicts with Roland, but that arrogant attitude and tone full of hostility and provocation completely angered Pug.He felt anger gushing out of his chest, almost suffocating, "Like one ser to another, Roland, let's be clear: what's going on between me and Karin has nothing to do with you!" Roland's face was full of anger.He stepped forward, looking down at the shorter boy. "It's damn none of my business! I don't know what you're up to, Pug, but if you do anything to hurt her, I'll—"

"I hurt her!?" Pug cut him off.Roland's anger surprised him a little, but the threat fueled his anger even more. "She likes one of us and hates the other—" Pug felt the ground buckle suddenly, press on his back.There were chaotic lights in front of his eyes and ringing like bells in his ears.It took him a moment to realize that Roland had punched him.Pug shook his head and refocused his eyes.He saw the older, stronger knight standing before him, fists clenched.Roland gritted his teeth to force out his words. "If you dare to speak ill of her again, I will beat you up."

Pug was furious.He moved his steps carefully, his eyes fixed on the eager Roland.He felt the taste of anger filling his mouth. "You've spent two years or more trying to win her, Roland. Get the hell out of here." Roland's face turned livid, and he knocked Pug to the ground.They wrestled, Roland hitting Pug on the chest and arms.Twisted and flipped, unable to cause more damage.Pug wrapped his arms around his neck and tightened furiously.Suddenly Roland kicked Pug in the chest with his knee and pushed him away.Pug staggered and regained his footing.Ruoland also stood up at the same time, and both of them set up an offensive and defensive posture.Roland's expression changed from anger to calmness, and anger could only become the opponent's weakness.He is sophisticated and cautious, with his left arm bent and outstretched, and his right fist raised in front of him.Pug had no experience with this style of fighting known as boxing, having only seen it in a traveling troupe.Roland has shown his extraordinary combat experience on many occasions.

Pug looked for an opportunity and then threw a punch, hitting Roland in the head.Roland jumped back to dodge Pug's blow--then Jazz jumped forward and punched Pug on the cheek with his left arm, and he threw his head back with a low growl, staggering backwards. Tripped, and Roland's right fist to Pug's jaw missed. Pug reached out to block another blow, shaking his head, trying to recover from the dancing flashes and blurry vision, barely parrying Roland's next blow.Howling, Pug bumped his shoulder into the stomach of the other boy, knocking him down again.Pug was on top of him trying to grab the boy's arm.Roland broke free and punched Pug on the temple, and the apprentice mage fell dizzy and unconscious.

It was as if he was standing up again, the pain unraveling from Pug's face, and the world tilted once more.With no conscious presence other than to protect himself, Pug felt Roland's attack fading away, somehow unrecognizable in his dizzy senses.A vague warning sounded somewhere in Pug's mind.Without any warning, the painful and chaotic thoughts were replaced by the most basic, animal-like instincts, and a messy, incomprehensible, new force emerged.Just like when encountering an ogre, the blindingly shining characters and flames appeared in his mind, and he silently recited the spell.

Pug gets raw.He has a residual consciousness that allows him to perceive that he is a primitive creature who must kill his opponents in order to survive.All he could think about was smothering his opponent to take his life. Suddenly Pug's jerk of alertness.A wrong, evil feeling hit him.Months of training flooded his mind, and he seemed to hear Kulgan yell, "This power isn't for this!" Pug opened his eyes again as the veiled personal consciousness dominated him again. Eyes full of hazy visions and blazing lights, Pug saw Roland kneeling a few feet away, eyes wide open, wrestling in vain with the invisible fingers clenched around his neck.Pug was at a loss, but he immediately regretted what had happened.

He ran forward and grabbed Roland's wrist. "Stop, Roland! It's not real. There's nothing around your neck but your own hands." But Roland was so frantic with panic that she could barely hear Pug's cry.He frantically gathered the remaining strength, Pug pulled Roland's hands away forcefully, and then, his face felt as if he had been slapped.Roland's eyes watered and he let out a harsh, rough gasp, filling his empty lungs with air again. He was still panting. "That's hallucination. You're suffocating yourself," Pug said. Panting, Roland pulled herself away from Pug, fear on his face.He tugged feebly at his longsword.Pug stepped forward and grabbed Roland's wrist.Barely speechless, he shook his head and said, "None of that."

Roland looked into Pug's eyes, and the fear faded.Instead, weary, exhausted youth sat on the ground.Panting heavily, he sat back, tears welling from his eyes, "Why?" he asked. Pug also sat down tiredly, supporting himself with his hands.Looking at the handsome young face in front of him, he said hesitantly due to uncertainty. "Because you are subject to a magic beyond my control." He looked into Roland's eyes. "You really love her, don't you?" The last trace of Roland's anger faded away, and there was still a slight trace of fear in his eyes, but Pug couldn't help the tears streaming down his cheeks because of the deep pain.He shrugged and nodded again, trying to speak, out of breath.For a moment he was close to crying, but he overcame his pain and regained his balance.Taking a deep breath, Roland wiped the tears from his face and took another breath.He looked at Pug, then asked cautiously, "What about you?"

Pug sat sprawled on the ground, feeling some strength return. "I... I'm not sure. She's confusing me with myself. I don't know. Sometimes I think I am, but sometimes, I think I should get as far away from her as possible." Roland understood, and the last trace of fear passed. "What's so good about her, I have no idea." Pug laughed loudly.Roland looked at him, and then laughed too. "I don't know why," Pug said, "but for some reason, what you said was very funny to me." Roland nodded and laughed too.The two of them sat together with tears on their faces, their anger had disappeared without a trace, replaced by hysterical frivolity. Roland recovered and stopped smiling, but when Pug looked at him and said, "Know nothing!" they laughed again. "Very good!" said a high-pitched voice.They turned their heads and saw Karin, followed by two ladies, watching the scene carefully behind her.Immediately both boys fell silent.The accusing eyes glanced at the boys sitting on the ground, "It seems that you two get along well, so I don't want to disturb you." Pug and Roland looked at each other and burst out laughing.Roland leaned back, and Pug sat up, stretched his legs, and covered his smile with his hands.Karin blushed with anger and opened her eyes wide."Excuse me!" in a cold, exasperated voice, and turned, leading two of her entourage away, who could hear her yelling, "Boys!" Pug and Roland sat up in silence for a minute until the hysteria passed; then Roland stood up and held out his hand to Pug.Pug grabbed him and pulled himself to his feet. "Sorry, Pug. I have no right to be angry with you," he said softly. "I couldn't sleep thinking about her all night. I look forward to every day we are together. But since you saved her, all I hear is your name." Touching the pain, Roland continued , "I got so irritated that I thought I'd kill you. But I almost killed myself in the end." Pug looked where the princess had disappeared, and nodded in agreement. "I'm sorry too, Roland. I can't control magic very well, and when I lose my mind, terrible things always happen. Like that encounter with the ogre." Pug hoped that Roland would understand He was still Pug, even though he was now a sorcerer's apprentice. "I've never done anything like that - especially to a friend." Roland looked at Pug's face and smiled, mixed with sarcasm and inferiority. "I see. I was dead wrong. You're right: she likes one of us and hates the other. I'm a fool, she likes you." Pug looked haggard. "Believe me, Roland, I didn't know I would be envied." Roland smiled indulgently. "She is a girl with great personality, that's for sure." Between self-pity and hypocritical self-confidence, Roland chose the latter. Pug shook his head. "Then what shall I do, Roland?" Roland looked surprised, then laughed out loud. "Don't ask me what to do, Pug. I've danced with her more than anyone else. But as the old saying goes, 'A maiden's heart is like the capricious wind,' I don't blame you Get close to Karin." He winked maliciously at Pug. "However, you don't mind that I will continue to observe the changes of this storm." Pug smiled wearily. "Your concession is so generous." He looked preoccupied. "You know, it's possible—not good, but possible—that she might never talk to me, Rolande. I don't know what I'm going to think. I'm going to finish my studies, and one day I'll be Inheriting my estate. And then there will be Tsurani messing around. It's all happening so fast, I don't know what to do." Roland looked at Pug with a hint of sympathy.He put his hand on the boy's shoulder. "I have forgotten the troubles when I became an apprentice and a nobleman. After all, I don't have much time to think and choose. Everything was decided before I was born. Worrying about the future is a boring thing. I think a beer would help." Feeling the pain in his body, Pug nodded in agreement. "We ought to have a drink. But I'm afraid Mag won't agree." Roland put his finger up against his nose. "We can keep the head chef from smelling it. Come on, I know where the beers are stored. We can sneak a drink, maybe two." Roland started to move, but Pug grabbed him, "Roland, I'm sorry for the conflict just now." Roland stopped, looked at Pug for a moment, and then smiled. "Me too," he held out his hand. "Peace." Pug took him. "Peace." They turned the corner, leaving the princess's garden far behind, and stopped.Before them was an unfortunate scene.Thomas was marching in the courtyard for training, from the barracks to the side gates, in full armor—old-fashioned zippers with soft mail, masked helmets, and heavy metal boots up to the knees.On one arm he wore a leather shield, and in the other he carried a heavy spear, twelve feet long with a metal tip, which weighed heavily on his right shoulder.This made him look a little ridiculous, causing his whole body to lean to the right, swaying slightly from side to side as he marched, as if trying to maintain his balance. The sergeant of Bao Jue's guard stood aside and shouted the password to him.Pug knew the sergeant, a tall, friendly man named Gardan.His dark skin reveals his Kerr origin.When he saw Pug and Roland, white teeth protruded from black faces and bushy beards.His shoulders were broad as Makmoth's, and his stride was as light as a hunter's or a warrior's.Despite his gray hair and thirty years in the military, his face was still young and smooth.He winked at Pug and Roland, and shouted, "Attention!", and Thomas stopped.As Pug and Thomas approached them, Gardan yelled, "Turn right!" Thomas obeyed. "Members of the Court—arrive, arms raised!" Thomas held out his right arm, holding his spear aloft in salute.He lowered the point of the spear a little and nearly dropped it on the ground. Pug and Roland stood beside Gardan, and the tall warrior saluted them with warm smiles. "Hello, sirs." He turned to Thomas. "Arms already! Marching to the post...forward!" Thomas put down and moved towards the "post" assigned to him, which was far away in the courtyard in front of the barracks.Roland laughed, "What is this? Special training?" Gardan stood holding the sword with one hand, and pointed at Thomas with the other. "Master Vannon thinks it will be of great benefit to the young warrior, as long as no one is here to see him exhausted from hard training and turned into a puddle of mud or something." He lowered his voice. Adding, "He's tough; he'll be fine, a little sore foot at most." "Why special training?" Roland asked.Pug looked at Gardan puzzled. "Our young hero lost two swords. The first was understandable, caused by a moment of inattention in a life-or-death situation on board. But the second was found lying where the Elven Queen and her retinue had left it some days before In the wet mud nearby, right under the nose of young Thomas." Pug knew that Thomas had forgotten all about that day when Gruber arrived with his stove hood.Thomas finally reached his finish line, turned around, and began his return journey.Gardan looked at the two bruised and dirty boys, "What happened to you two young gentlemen?" Roland cleared his throat and replied in a dramatic tone, "Ah... I gave Pug a boxing lesson." Gardan stretched out his hand to hold Pug's cheek, twisted the boy's face to examine it carefully, and evaluated the damage caused, "Rowland, remember, I never asked you to teach my people swordsmanship—we can Can't afford a casualty like that." He released Pug's face, "You'll have a beautiful eye tomorrow morning, ser." "Is your son all right, Gardan?" Pug changed the subject. "Very well, Pug. They go about their studies and dream of being rich, except for the youngest, Faxon, who is still determined to be a soldier next selection day. The rest are under the care of my brother Joey Became an expert wheelwright." He smiled sadly. "It's empty with only Faxon in the house, but my wife is happy with the peace..." He smiled again, a contagious smile that hardly needed a response. "But, it probably won't last long, and soon the grown-ups will be married, and then their children will be running around on their feet and there's a lot of jovial noise, long-term." Thomas came closer. "Can I have a word with the punished?" Pug asked. Gadan laughed and stroked his short beard. "I think I'll have to look elsewhere, but hurry, ser." Pug left Gardan and Roland to Thomas and walked with him to the final destination of the march. "How long will it continue?" asked Pug. Thomas said without squinting, "Oh, it's okay. There will be more than two hours, and then I can be buried directly." "Can't you rest?" "In half an hour, I can keep standing and rest for five minutes." He reached the point and raised his head, and then continued to turn and walk in the direction of Roland and Gardan. "When the mantle was installed, I went back to the barracks and found that my sword was missing. My heart stopped. I searched everywhere. I thought Rufo hid it and beat me up. Almost beat me up Him. When I got back to the House of Commons, Van Noorn was sitting in my bunk, oiling his blades. I think the other soldiers held back their laughter as he spoke for fear of getting themselves hurt. He said 'if you think you You're good enough with the sword, maybe you should take the time to learn how to march in armor.' A full day of marching is punishable," he added bitterly. "I'm dying." Pug tried to show sympathy as they passed Roland and Gardan.But like everyone else, he found the situation ridiculous.Hiding his smile, he said maliciously in a low voice, "I'd better go. If the master swordsman sees, he might give you another day's march." Thomas groaned at the thought. "God bless me. Come on, Pug—" "After the end, if you can still go to the wine cellar to find us." Pugle whispered, and he left Thomas and returned to Roland and Gardan.Said to the sergeant, "Thank you, Gardan." "You're always welcome, Pug. Our young cavalier-in-training will be all right, though he's getting a little frustrated right now. He's a little mad at the audience." Roland nodded. "Yeah, I don't think he'll lose a sword anytime soon." Gardan smiled. "Indeed. Master Vannon can forgive the first time, but there will be no second time. He hopes that Thomas will not develop such a bad habit. The master swordsman knows very well that your friend is the best student since Prince Arusha , but don't tell Thomas. Van Nuoen is always rigorously exploring their potential. Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, sirs. And, boys,"—they paused—"I'm not going to mention 'boxing lessons'. " They thanked the sergeant for his decision and then headed towards the wine cellar. The sergeant's cadenced password resounded throughout the courtyard. Pug was feeling better, and Roland had just finished his fourth beer when he downed his second beer when Thomas appeared in front of them through the floppy planks.Drenched in sweat and mud, he unloaded his armor and weapons exhaustedly. "It must be the end of the world; Van Nuoen actually gave me grace to end my punishment early." "Why?" asked Pug. Roland rose lazily against the cellar shelf and drew a cup from the sack full of grain where he sat to make the wine.Pass it to Thomas, who takes it and fills the barrel at his feet with beer. Taking a deep sip, Thomas wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, "Something happened. Van Nuoen came suddenly, told me to put away my toys, and then dragged Gadan away in a hurry." Pug said, "Perhaps the Duke is ready to ride east?" Thomas said, "Maybe." He looked at the two friends, noticing the bruises on their faces. "Fine, what happened?" Pug glanced at Roland, suggesting that he should explain the unfortunate situation.Roland gave Thomas a cracking grin and said, "We did some practice for the Duke's boxing bout." Pug nearly spat out his heavy mouthful of beer, then laughed.Thomas shook his head. "Ghosts believe it. Fighting for the princess?" Pug and Roland exchanged glances; and together they pinned Thomas to the floor.Roland held Thomas down, and when Pug stepped forward to help hold him down, he held up the remaining half-glass of beer above him.Roland said, pretending to be serious, "For this I anoint (to anoint with oil or ointment; to anoint to consecrate, to anoint) thee, Thomas, the greatest prophet of Kared." Immediately afterwards, the rest of the liquid in the cup poured on the boy's face. Pug belched, and said, "Me too," and poured the contents of his cup on his friend's face as well. Thomas spat out a mouthful of beer and said with a smile, "Yes! I was right!" He struggled against the weight on his body, "Now, get out! Do you want me to remind you, Roland, who was last time?" Beat your nose and bleed?" Roland stood up slowly, his drunken dignity moving with the precision of an iceberg. "That's right." He turned to Pug and said as he slowly got up from Thomas. He took an unfair advantage." Pug looked at Roland through blurred eyes. "What unfair advantage?" Roland raised his finger to his mouth in a secret gesture, and said, "He's victorious." Roland Beach fell on the grain sack, and Pug and Thomas laughed.Pug found it so ridiculous that he could hardly stop, and hearing Thomas laugh only made him even more so.Finally he sat up, panting, clutching his injured cheek. Calm again, Pug said, "I missed that good show for other things, but I can't remember why." "You went to the village to learn how to mend fishing nets. If I remember correctly, it was when Roland first came here from Turan." Roland smiled slyly, "I got into an argument with someone—do you remember who?" Thomas shook his head. "Anyway, we had a fight, and Thomas came out and tried to adjust. I can't trust this skinny guy—" Thomas protested, but Roland cut him off, wiggling his upraised fingers. "Yes, you are. Skinny. I can't trust this skinny fellow - skinny and vulgar - to come to me - a duke-appointed royal, a gentleman. I It must be added - it was obvious. So I did what every gentleman would do in the situation." "What?" asked Pug. "I punched him in the mouth." A third burst of laughter broke out. Roland said, Thomas shook his head while remembering, Roland continued, "Then he gave the worst blow since my father caught him for something last time. That's when I learned about boxing. " Frustrated self-mockery filled the air, and Thomas said, "Well, we were young then." Pug filled his glass again.Playing with the injured jaw, "Yeah, I feel like I'm a hundred years old now." Thomas looked at them carefully for a moment. "Seriously, why are you fighting?" With a mixture of humor and mourning, Roland said, "The daughter of our great sovereign, a girl of unspeakable charm..." "What is ineffable?" Thomas asked. Roland looked at him with drunken contempt. "It's indescribable, idiot!" Thomas shook his head. "I don't think the princess is an indescribably stupid—" He ducked to avoid Roland's glass flying towards his head.Pug collapsed laughing again. Roland and Thomas both laughed, and he took another glass from the shelf. "As I said," he filled the glass from the bucket, "our lady, a girl of indescribable charm—judgment faulted—in her head—only the gods know What the hell is going on - to favor our young wizard. Why - when she's with me, I can't imagine." He paused and hiccupped. "In any case, we discussed how to accept this reward in the necessary way." Thomas looked at Pug with an exaggerated smile on his face. "I sympathize with you, Pug. You must have been applauded." Pug felt his face heat up.Then said with mischievous malice, "Me? You know about a young soldier's apprentice? Well-known around here, the one who was seen sneaking into the pantry with some kitchen girl?" He leaned back, a sneer on his face, "I can't imagine what Nora would do if he found out about all this..." Thomas' mouth fell open. "You don't...you can't!" Roland lay down, and Ce lay down. "I've never seen such a realistic performance, a live fish on land!" He sat up, his eyes crossed, and he opened and closed his mouth quickly.The three boys fell into unstoppable laughter for the first time. Another round of toasting began, and Roland raised his glass high. "To the gentlemen!" Pug and Thomas raised their glasses. Roland's voice became serious, "No matter what differences we have had in the past, you are my best friends. He raised the cup higher, "Respect friendship!" " They drank their cups down.Roland said, "Extend your hands." The three boys held hands together, Roland said, "No matter where we are, no matter how many years pass, our friendship cannot be broken." Pug suddenly clenched his hands and solemnly swore, "Friend!" Thomas echoed Pug's proclamation, and the three clasped hands made another gesture of affirmation. The glass was drained again, and the afternoon sun quickly faded over the horizon as the three boys lost in time basked in the rosy glow of friendship and wine. Pug woke up, still drunk and disoriented.The dim light of the nearly extinct fire cast the room in shades of rose and black.He stood up slowly, nearly falling, still reeling from the drunken excitement.He and Thomas and Roland stayed in the wine store all night until late and missed dinner.As Roland puts it, there was "a huge loss" to the castle's beer supply.They didn't actually drink much, but given their meager capacity for alcohol, it still seemed like a heroic thing to do. Pug pulled on his pants and staggered to the door.His eyelids seemed to be filled with sand, and his mouth was as dry as if it was stuffed with cotton.He opened the door, unable to imagine who would be visiting in the middle of the night. He felt dizzy for a moment before realizing that Karin was already standing inside the room, wearing a thick cloak. "Close the door!" she whispered. "Someone might pass by the bottom of the tower and see the light on the stairs." Pug obeyed, still delirious.All he could think of in his benumbed mind was that the faint glow from the coal fire seemed unlikely to be strong enough to be seen from downstairs.He shook his head, trying to gather his thoughts, and walked over to the fire.He lights a wick with coals and lights the lantern with it.The girl in the room pokes slowly. Pug became aware that Karin was observing his house, scanning the cluttered mountains of books and scrolls beside the shop.She scoured every possible hiding spot in the house, and said, "Where did you put your dragon?" Pug's eyes became clearer, and he moved his stiff tongue, "Fanters? It's gone out to do some things that a dragon beast should do." She took off her cloak and said, "Fine. It scares me." She sat on Pug's messy bunk and stared at him sternly. "I want to talk to you." Pug's eyes widened, and then he stared intently at Karin, who was wearing only a thin cotton pajamas.The thin and close-fitting clothes stretch from the neck to the ankles, revealing the beautiful curves that are heart-pounding.Pug suddenly realized that he was only wearing a pair of trousers, and quickly picked up a top from the ground and put it on his head.As he wrestled with the shirt, the last traces of alcohol evaporated from his system. "My God!" he whispered in pain, "if your father finds out, he'll have my head." "Not if you can keep your voice down," she replied with a petulant look in her eyes. Pug walked over to the bench beside the bed, fear breaking him out of his drunkenness.She looked at the distraught apprentice and said dissatisfiedly, "You've been drinking." He couldn't deny it, and she continued, "When you and Roland didn't show up for dinner, I was still wondering where you were going. Very lucky my Father didn't come to eat together, otherwise he would send someone to find you." Pug began to panic as stories of noble ladies and their humble lovers flooded his mind.Karin hadn't been without scruples about coming uninvited, but he didn't think the Duke would be as lenient with him.Pug fought back his fear. "Karin, you can't stay here. You're going to cause us both unimaginable trouble." Her expression became determined. "I'm not leaving until I've told you what I came here to say." Pug understood that this was pointless.He's seen it too many times in the past.He sighed softly, "Okay, so, what are you going to say?" Karin's eyes widened in disapproval at his tone. "Okay, if you don't want to hear it, I won't say it." Pug tried to suppress a moan, and leaned back with his eyes closed.Shaking his head slowly, "Fine. I'm sorry. Please, what do you want me to do?" She patted the bed next to her. "Come here, sit here." He obeyed, trying to ignore the feeling that his fate - a short life - was already in the hands of this capricious girl.He sat down as far away from her as possible.She laughed at his moan. "You're drunk! What's that like?" "Like now, not very pleasant. I feel like a used kitchen rag." She tried to be sympathetic, but her blue eyes sparkled with laughter.With an exaggerated pout, she said, "You boys can always do all the fun things, like fencing and bow and arrow. Being a lady is tasteless. If I drink more than a glass of wine and water with dinner, father would tremble with anger." There was great despair in Pug's voice, "If he finds you here, he won't just be shaking with anger. Karin, why are you here?" She ignored the question. "What did you and Roland do this afternoon, fight?" He nodded. "For me?" she asked, a twinkle in her eye. Pug sighed. "Yes, for you." She was pleased to see the answer touch him, and then a tinge of anger crept into his voice. "Karin, it's too bad for you to use him." "He's an uninspired fool!" she shot back. "If I asked him to jump off the wall, he would do it too." "Karin," Pug almost wailed, "why—" His question was interrupted by the red lips that suddenly moved forward and pressed against his mouth.It was all a hot kiss, and Pug was too stiff to respond.She sat back quickly, away from him who was stunned, and then she said, "How?" Barely able to mount any primitive response, Pug said, "What?" Her eyes sparkled with fire. "That kiss, you idiot." "Oh!" Pug was still in shock. "That... is okay." Her cheeks were flushed red, and she looked down at him with a mixture of shame and anger in her eyes.She stood up with folded arms, her voice beating on the window like summer hail.Her tone was low and harsh. "Okay?! Is that what you were going to say?" Pug watched her with terrible conflicting emotions.She was so beautiful in the dim light that he felt an indescribable pain, her face so vivid, her black hair hanging loose by her side, her thin, form-fitting blouse covered by her double-crossed breasts. The arm is pulled down.他混乱的知觉让他看起来就象是无动于衷，这更加大了她的怒火。 “你是我所吻过的第一个男人——除了我父亲和我的兄弟，而你所要说的全部就是—还好？” 帕格无法反应，仍然被澎湃的情感所冲击，他不假思索地脱口而出，“非常好。” 她将她的双手放至臀部，将她的睡衣拉向一个新的方向。站在那里带着一种怀疑的眼神俯视着他。她努力克制着自己的声音说道。“我冒着被流放到修道院呆一辈子的危险到这里并将自己献给你！”帕格注意到她忘记了提及他可能面临的命运。“在西部其他每一个男孩——还有为数不少的年长的贵族——愿意为我做一切来博得我的注意。而你所做的全部只是将我视为一个普通的厨房工人，一个年轻贵族的短暂的娱乐。” 帕格从新恢复了理智，多少是由于卡琳不公正地强调自己所面临的危险让他突然意识到在她真实的怒气中还夹杂着一些做作的表演，他说道，“卡琳，等等。给我点时间。“ “时间！我已经给了你好几个星期了。我以为，我以为我们已经互相了解了。” 帕格试图表示出同意，他的思维飞快地运转着。“坐下来，求你。让我来解释。” 她犹豫着，然后坐回到他的身边。他略带笨拙地握住她的双手。第一次如此接近女孩给他一种触电的感觉，她的温暖的体热，秀发和皮肤的气味。那感觉让他感到自己站在峭壁上，一种令人眩晕的冲击。他不得不抗争着努力保持着头脑的清醒来说出他想说的话。 他从澎湃的感情中把握住理智，“卡琳，我喜欢你。非常喜欢。有时候我认为我象若兰德一样爱你，但是更多的时候你的到来让我困惑。那就是问题：我有太多的困惑。我不了解我大部分时候我到底是什么感觉。” 她眯起双眼，这明显不是她所期望的回答。她的声音尖锐，“我不明白你的意思。我从来不知道一个男孩会对事情如此刨根问底。” 帕格努力做出一个微笑。“魔法师被训练来寻找解释。了解事情的本质对我们十分重要。”他看到她的眼中闪动着理解。“我现在有了两个职务，对我来说都是崭新的。我或许不会变成一个魔法师，尽避库甘一直努力试图让我成为，但我对于我的学业有很多困难。我不能忽视你，你知道，但是我有很多烦恼，我必须花费尽可能多的时间在我的学业上。” 看到他的解释得到了一些同情，他改变了战术。“因此，我只有很少的时间去考虑别的。我可能会被你父亲朝中其他的大臣罢免了头衔和我所将继承的产业——尽避这可能性不大，或是应征入伍，或是其他的什么。但这都是次要的，我的学业是魔法。我必须继续下去直到我认为我做了错误的选择。或是库甘开除我。”他很快地补充说。 他停下来然后打量着她的脸。她蓝色的大眼睛专心地看着他。“魔法师在王国中只占很小的地位。我的意思是，或许我会变成魔法大师……嗯，你能否接受自己嫁给一个魔法师，而不在乎他的阶级？” 她的脸上闪过一丝忧虑。她快速地倾向前并在一次吻了他，彻底摧毁了他刚刚恢复的平静。“可怜的帕格，”她说道，稍微挪开了一些。她温柔甜美的嗓音回响在他的耳际。 “你不必一定要的。一个魔法师，我的意思是，你有土地和头衔，而且我的父亲会在合适的时间安排好一切的。” “这不是我所想要说的问题，你不明白吗？问题是我是谁。问题是我还没有真正地找到我的人生目标。你知道的，库甘只是应为同情而收留我作为学徒，不管他和塔里怎么说，我从来不真正认为自己有什么特殊的天赋。但是或许我需要奉献我自己，将一切托付给魔法。”他深吸了一口气。“如果我只关注于我自己和我的财产与爵位或是再增加新的问题，那我还能作什么呢？”他停下来。“比如说你？” 卡琳微微咬住嘴唇，帕格努力克制着将她拥入怀中并告诉她一切都会好起来的。他毫不怀疑他的选择，很快他就可以控制住一切了。尽避对女孩的经验不多，但这恰恰是城里最漂亮的一个，这让他感到颇有些骄傲。 她的睫毛微微下垂似乎是在望着下面，接着她柔声说，“帕格，无论你要我做什么我都会做的。”帕格暂时感觉松了一口气，紧接着她所说的话猛烈地撞击着他。Oh my God!he thinks.魔法师的技巧已经不能抑制他年轻的激情与欲望。他疯狂地被推向爆发的边缘，然后，他想起了她的父亲。立刻，一幅公爵阴郁地站在绞架后的画面熄灭了他的欲火。 帕格深深吸了一口气说道，“以我自己的方式，我爱你，卡琳。”她的脸上浮起一片绯红，为了防止可能的灾难，他马上继续道。“但是我想我最好先试图找到自我然后在来考虑其他的。”他的意志经受着巨大的考验，女孩象是忽略了他的备注，疯狂地亲吻着他的面颊。 然后她停下来坐回去。她快乐的神情褪去，浮现出沉思的面容，好像是她智慧的天性取代了要得到想要的一切的孩子气。当他说话时她的眼中是理解目光，“如果要我现在选择，卡琳，我可能会永远怀疑这选择。你希望我可能会因做出的选择而怨恨你吗？” 她沉默了一会，然后很快说道，“不，我不认为我能忍受那个，帕格。” 他松了一口气，绷紧的神经松弛了下来。突然，屋子里变得冰冷起来，他们两个开始发抖。卡琳紧紧握住他的双手，力量出人意料的大。她鼓起勇气微笑着，努力使得声音保持平静，“我理解，帕格。”她长长的吸了一口气，然后轻柔地补充道，“那就是为什么我认为我爱你。你总是坦诚地对待每一个人，除了你自己。” “或者你，卡琳。”她的双眼湿润了，但是她仍然保持着微笑。“这不容易，”帕格说，女孩的感情触动了他。“求你，求你，相信我，这并不容易。” 突然紧张的气氛被打破了，卡琳柔声笑了起来，对帕格来说如同甜美悦耳的音乐。夹杂着笑声与泪水，“可怜的帕格。我让你心烦意乱。” 帕格的脸上露出为她的理解而感到安慰。对女孩的爱情让他感到轻快。他慢慢地摇了摇头，脸上浮现出试图缓解气氛的微笑让他的表情显得有些愚蠢，“你没办法，卡琳。没办法。”他温柔地抚摸着她的脸颊。“我们有的是时间。我哪也不会去。” 在低垂的睫毛下，蓝色的双眼忧虑地望着他。“可你马上就要和父亲一起离开了。” “我的意思是当我回来。我将在这里很多年。”他轻轻地亲吻她的面颊。努力地使得语气轻松自然，“用不了三年我就可以继承我的产业，那是法律。我想你父亲不会和你分开那么久的。”努力做出一个扭曲的微笑，他补充道，“但三年你可能早已将我遗忘。 " 她轻轻地拥入他的臂膀，紧紧地靠着他，她的面颊依在他的肩膀。“永远不会，帕格。 我永远不会再喜欢其他人了。 ”帕格对她感到吃惊，她的身子伴随着话语而颤抖着，“我不太会表达，帕格。但你是唯一一个试图去……了解我的人。你比其他人了解的都多。 " 他轻轻地将她推开，用手台起她的面庞。他再一次吻了她，她的嘴唇上沾染着泪水的味道。她突然回应，紧紧地拥住他热吻着。透过她的身体，她薄薄的长袍，他可以感觉到她的心跳，他可以听到她轻柔的喘息声萦绕在他的耳畔，并感觉到自己正在再次陷入失去理智的激情中，他的肉体做出了反应。从新坚定起信念，他慢慢地离开卡琳的拥抱，轻柔地推开她，声音中充满着歉意，“我想你该回去了，卡琳。” 卡琳抬头望着帕格，她的面颊绯红，朱唇轻启。她的呼吸混浊，帕格努力地与自己抗争着。更加坚决地，他说，“你最好回到你的房间去，现在。 他们慢慢地从床上起身，感觉到对方的激情。帕格长久地握住她的双手，然后慢慢松开。他拣起她的斗蓬，为她披上。护送她走到门口，他将门微启，朝楼梯下的塔底窥视。 确认没有任何人在附近后，他将门完全打开。她走了出去，然后转过身来，柔声说，“我知道你认为我有时候是一个愚蠢而自负的女孩，有时候我确实是的，帕格。但是我爱你。” 在他能说出一个字之前，她已经消失在了楼梯底部，黑暗中回响着她斗蓬的沙沙声。帕格很快地关上门灭掉灯光。他躺会床上，凝视着黑暗。他依然能闻到她清新的香味萦绕在他身边的空气中，依然记得手触摸她柔软身躯的兴奋感觉。现在她走了，压抑的自控随着她一起走了，他放任开被压抑的欲望。他可以看到她鲜活的面庞，那渴望得到他的表情。他用手臂掩住双眼，他轻声呻吟着，“明天我会恨死我自己的。” 帕格被敲门声惊醒。他匆忙中爬起身，脑中的第一个想法是公爵已经得知了卡琳的来访。他来这里要吊死他！天还没有亮，帕格做了最坏的准备打开了门。站在门外的不是带领着大量守卫的愤怒父亲而是一个城堡的看门人。 “很抱歉叫醒您，爵士，但是库甘大师希望您马上去见他，”他说着指向库甘的房间。 “立刻，”他错把帕格松了一口气的表情当成是还没有清醒过来的神态而重复道。帕格点点头然后关上了门。 他思嗣此一下。他依然穿着整齐，因为他没有脱衣服就睡着了。他静静地站着让狂跳的心平静下来。他的眼睛有些象是进了沙子而睁不开，他的胃翻滚着，嘴里充满恶心的味道。他走到小桌子前用冷水泼在脸上，小声嘀咕着再也不去碰任何一杯啤酒了。 帕格来到库甘的房间，看到法师站在一堆私人物品和书籍后面。坐在法师的睡塌上的是塔里神父。牧师看着法师不断堆高的行装说道，“库甘，你不能把所的书都带上。你需要两头骡子来载它们，上船后你要把它们放到哪里呢？我会替你保管好它们的。” 库甘看了看手中的两本书，好像一个母亲审视着她的孩子。“但是我必须带上他们来继续帕格的学习。” “哈！所以你想围绕着营火或是在船上继续你的教育，这很有希望。原谅我的多虑。你们将要轻装上阵在雪季来到之前穿过南部关口。谁能在冬季穿越比特海的船上阅读？那孩子不过仅仅是暂停他的学业一个月或两个月。之后他还有八年多的时间可以继续学习呢。让他休息一下吧。” 帕格对交谈有些困惑，想问个问题，但是两个斗嘴的老伙伴完全忽略了他。在塔里发表了更多的抗议后，库甘终于投降了。“我想你是对的，”他说，将书扔到了他的床上。然后他看到等候在门旁的帕格，“怎么？你还在这里？” “您还没有告诉我要我来这里的原因，库甘老师。”帕格回答。 “哦？”库甘说，眼睛一眨睁得大大的，就象是一只被强光刺到眼睛的猫头鹰。“我还没有吗？”帕格点点头。“好吧，公爵命令我们在天亮前整装待发。矮人那里还没有回音，但是他不会再等了。北部关口几乎已经完全被封锁了，他害怕南部关口也会遭受大雪。”库甘就象是在说一件与自己毫不相干的事情似的。“另外，我的天气嗅觉告诉我雪季就要到来了。我们将遭遇一个早到而寒冷的冬天。” 塔里站起身摇了摇头。“这个人七年前还预言了干旱，而我们经历了最糟糕的洪涝。你是个十足的戏子！牛皮大王。 ”他慢慢地走向门口，然后停下来看着库甘，他愤怒的嘲弄变成了真诚的关心。“尽避这次你对了，库甘。我的骨头疼的更厉害了。冬天降临了。 " 塔里离开了，“我们现在就走？”帕格问道带着一丝恼怒，库甘说道，“是的！我刚才就是这个意思，难道我没说清楚吗？赶快去把你的东西收拾好。还有不到一个小时就要天亮了。” 帕格转身准备离开，库甘突然叫到，“哦，等一下，帕格。” 魔法师走出房门向外张望着，确定塔里已经下了楼梯离开了听力所及的范围。库甘回到帕格身边说道，“我对你的行为无可指责……但是如果你将来再遇到那样的深夜来访，我建议你不要将自己置身于更深的……考验中。我不能肯定你下次还能做的这么好。” 帕格脸色苍白。 "Did you hear that?" 库甘指了指墙角的一块地板。“你的火炉罩的出口就在这墙后的一步之隔，看来它有着出人意料的导音效果。”他心不在焉地说，“等我们回来以后一定要仔细察看一下它究竟是如何能有这样好的传音效果。”他转向男孩，“不管怎么样，我工作得很晚并不是有意要偷听，但是我确实听到了每一个字。”帕格的脸涨得通红。库甘说道，“我不想让你难看，帕格。你所作都是正确的并且表现了惊人的智慧。”他将手放在帕格的肩头，“我恐怕我无法给你什么建议，因为我对任何年龄的女人都缺乏经验，特别是这种年轻的而任性的。”他盯着帕格的双眼说道，“但是我知道，在那种热情的欲望前保持心灵的平静是几乎不可能的。我很骄傲你做到了。” 帕格自嘲地一笑。“那很容易，库甘大师，我只是让我的心思集中在某件事上。” "……What's up?" “死刑。” 库甘大笑，声音如树皮般粗糙，然后说道，“很好，但公主所要面临的潜在危险也同样很大，帕格。一个东部宫廷的贵妇人可以拥有众多各个阶层的爱人让她们享乐。但是一国的公爵的女儿与君王的关系重大。她必须在任何事上都光明磊落。任何流言怀疑都会伤害卡琳。一个喜欢她的人都必须考虑到这一点。你明白吗？” 帕格点点头，庆幸自己抵御住了前夜的诱惑。 “好，我想你今后会更加谨慎的。”库甘微笑道，“别介意老塔里。他只是对公爵要求他留下而感到难受。他认为他仍然年轻得象个侍僧一样。现在赶快回去收拾东西。马上就要天亮了。” 帕格点点头匆匆离开了，留下库甘盯着面前床上的两本书。带着无比的遗憾他拣起最近的一本将其放到旁边的书架上。过了一会他拾起另外一本将它塞进行囊中。“再加一本也不会造成任何伤害的，”他向隐形的幻影塔里摇晃着脑袋不满地说。 他将剩下的书放回到书架上，将最后一本挤进包中。“好了，就这样，”他挑战似地说道，“两本！”