Chapter 62 Chapter 61: Jon

"Snow, are you all right?" Commander Mormont asked, frowning. "All right?" his crow croaked, "All right?" "My lord, I'm fine." Jon lied...and loudly, as if that would make the lie come true. "and you?" Mormont frowned again. "There is a dead man who wants to kill me, how do you think I can be better?" He scratched his chin.Because his long gray beard was burned by fire, he cut it off.His new short white beard made him not only uglier, but also much older and grumpier. "To be honest, your complexion is not very good. How are your hands?"

"Healing." Jon showed him his bandaged fingers.The burns from throwing the pile of curtains were much worse than he expected, and now his right arm is wrapped in silk bandages, all the way to the elbow.He didn't feel anything at the time, and the pain started later.Fluid leaked from his cracked red skin, and horrific blood-filled blisters the size of cockroaches filled his fingers. "The maester says it will leave a scar, but other than that it shouldn't be a big deal." "It's okay to have scars on your hands. Here on the Great Wall, you wear gloves most of the time."

"My lord, you said so." It wasn't the scar that troubled Jon, but other parts.Maester Aemon had given him milk of the poppy, but even so, his hand ached like hell.At first he felt that his hand was still on fire, burning day and night, and the only way to relieve the pain was by inserting it into a basin filled with fresh snow and crushed ice.Jon was writhing and howling in pain on the bed, only Ghost knew, for which he secretly thanked the gods in heaven.But when he really fell asleep, he would have dreams again, and these dreams were more terrifying than hand injuries.In the dream, the corpse he fought had not only blue eyes and black hands, but also his father's face, and he dared not tell Mormont that.

"Dawen and Huck came back last night," said Old Xiong, "like everyone else, they didn't find any trace of your uncle." "I know." Jon dragged himself to dinner with his friends in the Great Hall last night, when all the talk was about the Rangers' failed search. "You know that too," Mormont muttered. "Why does everyone know everything?" He didn't expect an answer either. "It seems that there are only two... things in total. Whatever they are, I will never recognize them as human beings. Thank the gods in the sky. If there are more... well. Better not think about it. It's just me The old man has a hunch that we will meet again sooner or later, and Master Aemon also said so. The cold wind is blowing, the summer is coming to an end, and the unprecedented winter is coming."

Winter is coming.To Jon, the Stark motto has never been so dark, so ominous. "My lord," he said hesitantly, "I heard that another bird came last night..." "That's what happened. How?" "I would like to know if there is any news of my father." "Father!" cried the old crow mockingly, bobbing his head up and down as he walked up and down on Mormont's shoulder. "Father!" The commander reached out to grab its beak, but the crow jumped on his head, flapped its wings, flew across the room, and landed on the window. "Just rowdy and mischievous," Mormont grumbled. "Crows are all good. I don't know what I'm going to do with this nasty bird... If there's news from Lord Eddard, you think I'll be upset." Did you come? Bastard or not, you are his blood. The letter is about Ser Barristan Selmy. He appears to have been dismissed from the Kingsguard. The seat was given to Clegane the black dog, and now Selmy is wanted for treason. Those fools sent some guards to get him, and he killed two and escaped." Moore Mon snorted, expressing his opinion of those who sent the City Watch against someone as skilled as the fearless Barristan. "There are white ghosts in the forest here, and there are restless dead people walking in the city, and it turns out that the one sitting on the Iron Throne is a little boy!" He said with disgust.

The crow shrieked and laughed strangely: "Little Maotou! Little Maotou! Little Maotou! Little Maotou!" Jon remembered that the Old Bear had high hopes for Ser Barristan. If even he lost power, what chance would Mormont's letter have to reach the king?He couldn't help clenching his fingers tightly, but the severe pain immediately burst from the wound. "What about my sister?" "The letter neither mentioned Lord Ed nor his daughter." He shrugged angrily. "Maybe they never got my letter at all. Although Master Aemon sent two copies and sent his best bird to take, but who can say about this kind of thing? I think it's probably Pai Xi I don't bother to write back. It's not the first time, and certainly won't be the last. I'm afraid we are nothing to the people in King's Landing. They only tell us what they want us to know, and that's little Poor!"

You only tell me what you want me to know, and less, Jon thought bitterly.Robb had called on his vassals to lead the army south, but no one told him... Samwell Tarly, who still read the letter to Maester Aemon, came to him secretly that night, whispering and confessing I shouldn't have done this.It is conceivable that they must think that his brother's war has nothing to do with him.Yet this troubled him more than anything else.Robb is galloping on the battlefield, but he is sitting in a sad city.No matter how much Jon consoled himself that his duty now was to defend the Wall with his new brethren, he still felt like a coward.

"Corn!" cried the crow again. "Corn! Corn!" "Oh, shut up." Old Xiong told it. "Snow, Master Aemon estimates how long it will take for your hand to recover?" "Soon," Jon replied. "That would be kind," Lord Commander Mormont took out a sword, scabbard of black metal trimmed with silver, and placed it on the table between them. "Here, you can use this when the time comes." The crow fluttered its wings, stopped on the table, and strutted towards the sword, tilting its head curiously.Jon hesitated.What exactly this meant, he had no clue. "My lord, is this?"

"The previous fire melted away the silver on the pommel of the hilt, the gauntlet and the hilt were also burnt, alas, dry leather and wood, there will be ghosts if you don't burn it. As for the sword itself...you have to use a hundred heat It takes twice as much fire to hurt the blade." Mormont pushed the sword and sheath across the rough oak tabletop with a flick of his hand. "I retyped the rest. Here you go." "Take it!" The crow complacently agreed, "Take it! Take it!" Jon reached for his sword stiffly.He used his left hand, because his right hand was not only bandaged, but also the wound had not healed, so he was not very flexible.He carefully pulled the sword out of its sheath and held it up to his eyes.

The ball at the end of the hilt was a pale white stone, and lead was added to balance the weight of the sword. The ball was carved into the head of a roaring wolf, and the eyes were two small pieces of red garnet.The hilt was covered with new black and soft leather, untouched by sweat and blood.The blade of the sword was half a foot longer than Jon's usual sword, with a very sharp front end, which could be stabbed or slashed, and three deep blood grooves were cut on it. "Ice" is a veritable two-handed sword, and this one is a one-and-a-half-handed sword, sometimes called a "long sword".This wolf sword seemed to be lighter than the swords he had used before.Jon turned the sword lightly, and saw the ripples left by the dark-colored stainless steel blade after thousands of tempers. "My lord, this is a sword forged of Valyrian steel," he said in surprise.His father used to let him hold "ice" a lot, so he knew the look and feel.

"That's right," the Old Bear told him. "This is my father's sword. It was passed down to him by my grandfather. This sword has been passed down from father to son in the Mormont family for five hundred years. I also used this sword when I was young. Then I put on black and passed it on to my son." He gave me the sword he passed down to his son, and Jon couldn't believe it.The blade is extremely balanced, and when the edge meets the light, it immediately shines. "Your son—" "My son brought dishonor to House Mormont, but he knew how to keep this sword before he fled. My sister gave it back to me, but whenever I see it, it reminds me of Jorah , so I put the sword away and forgot about it for a long time, until I found it in the ashes of my bedroom. Originally, the hilt had a silver bear's head at the end, but it has been worn out for years and years. You If you use it, I think the white wolf is more suitable. It just so happens that we have a good engraver among our craftsmen." When Jon was Bran's age, like all boys, he dreamed of doing something big in the future.Although the details of each daydream are different, he always imagined that he saved his father's life. Afterwards, Duke Ed announced that Jon had proved that he was the true descendant of Stark, and gave him the "Ice" hands.Even at that time, he knew that this was just a child's joke, and it was absolutely impossible for an illegitimate child to inherit the family sword.Thinking of this now, he felt ashamed.What is it to take away your brother's inheritance rights?I am not qualified to accept this sword, he thought, just as I am not qualified to inherit "Ice".He moved his burned fingers, feeling the pain deep beneath the skin. "My lord, you flatter me, but—" "Son, don't 'but' with me," Commander Mormont interrupted. "If it weren't for you and your wolf, I wouldn't be sitting here now. Not only are you brave... More importantly, you have a quick brain. That's right, God damn it, it's fire! You should know, you should have remembered. In ancient times, there was also the Calamity of the Long Night, alas, although eight thousand years is a bit long... But if even the night watchmen don’t remember, who else will remember?” "Who will!" cried the noisy crow, "Who will!" The gods had indeed heard Jon's prayer that night; the wight's clothes caught fire and were consumed by flames as if his skin were wax and his bones were sticks.Jon had only to close his eyes, and he could still see the corpse stumbling across the study, bumping against furniture, flailing its arms against the flames.Haunted for a long time was that face: surrounded by fire, hair burning like straw, necrotic muscle melting and sliding away in pieces, exposing the skull below. Whatever demonic powers had driven Other had been driven away by the fire; and the twisted mass they found among the embers was nothing but roasted flesh and charred bones.However, in his nightmare, it came again... this time with the face of Duke Eddard on the head of the fiery corpse.It was my father's skin that was scorched black and bursting, and my father's eyes were streaming down his cheeks like frozen tears.Jon didn't know why he was having this dream or what it meant, he was just terrified. "A sword for a life is cheap enough," Mormont concluded. "Take it quickly, don't talk to me anymore, do you understand?" "Yes, my lord." Jon's fingers stroked the soft leather, and the sword seemed eager for his grasp.He understands that this is a great honor, and he is indeed very grateful, but... He is not my father, the thought crossed Jon's mind without warning.Lord Eddard Stark is my father.I will never forget him, no matter how many swords others give me, I will never change.But how could he tell Commander Mormont that he dreamed of another man's sword... "I don't want to hear polite words, either," said Mormont, "so leave out the thank you. Proving that you value it with your actions will do more than talk about it." Jon nodded. "My lord, is this sword famous?" "It used to be. It was called Longclaw." "Longclaw!" cried the crow, "Longclaw!" "Longclaw, good name," Jon said, giving a trial swing.Although holding a sword in his left hand is ugly and clumsy, the sword seems to cut through the air with its own will. "Both wolves and bears have claws." Old Xiong seemed very happy to hear that. "I think so too. I think you'll have to carry your sword behind your back. It's too long to wear around your waist, at least until you grow a few inches taller. Also, practice two-handed strikes." When your hand injury is healed, I can ask Sir Andrew to teach you a few tricks." "Ser Andrew?" Jon could not remember the name. "Ser Andrew Tars. He's coming from the Shadow Tower. He's our new master. Ser Alliser Thorne was at Eastwatch yesterday morning." Jon dropped his sword. "Why?" he asked stupidly. Mormont snorted. "What do you think? Of course I sent him. He has the hand of Geoff Flowers that your ghost bitten off on him. I ordered him to take a boat to King's Landing and show the hand to the little devil-headed king." , this must have attracted Joffrey's attention... Besides, Ser Alliser is of good background, he is also a formally canonized knight, and he also has old acquaintances in the court, so he should not be ignored like other 'crow' brothers in black .” "The crow!" Jon felt that the crow's tone was a little indignant. "Anyway," the Lord Commander continued, ignoring the crow's protests, "this way you and him are naturally separated by thousands of miles, and I don't appear to be partial." He pointed a finger at Jon's Face. "However, don't think that this means that I agree with you messing around in the hall. Although courage can make up for a considerable degree of stupidity, no matter how old you are, you are no longer a child. This is an adult's sword, and only an adult can use it It. I hope you take care of yourself." "Yes, my lord." Jon put the sword back into the silver-rimmed scabbard.It was not the sword of his dreams, but it was a noble gift nonetheless, and it was a nobler thing to free him from Alliser Thorne's malicious insults. Old Xiong scratched his chin. "I forgot how itchy a new beard is," he said. "Well, whatever. Can your hands work?" "Yes, my lord." "That's kind. It's going to be cold tonight, and I want some mulled wine with fortification. Get me a bottle of red, not too sour, and don't skimp on spices. Also, go and tell Hubb that if he dares to Bring me the boiled mutton, and I’ll cook him. Last time, the hind legs were all gray, and even the bird didn’t eat it.” He rubbed the crow’s head with his thumb, and the bird let out a satisfied grunt. "You go, I have something to do." He came down the tower stairs with his sword in his hand, and the guards in the alcoves smiled at him. "It's a fine sword," said one of them. "Jon, well done," another told him.Jon made himself smile at them too, but there was no smile in his heart.He knew he should be happy, but he couldn't be happy anyway.His hands ached and his mouth tasted anger, but he couldn't tell whom he was angry with or why. Now Lord Commander Mormont lives in the King's Tower instead. When Jon came out of the tower, he found five or six friends waiting sneakily outside.They hung a target over the barn door as a practice, but he knew right away that they were up to something.As soon as he landed on his front foot, Pyp called out, "Hey, come here and let's see!" "See what?" Jon said. Todd slipped over. "Of course it's your red ass, what else?" "That sword," Grant said, "we want to see that sword." Jon scanned them with accusing eyes. "So you all know." Piper giggled and said, "We're not as stupid as Grenn." "You're obviously stupid," Grant insisted, "You're even stupider than me." Howard shrugged apologetically. "Pate and I carved the ball at the end of the sword," said the craftsman. "Your friend Sam brought the garnet back from Mole's Village." "We knew earlier than that," Grant said. "Lucci was helping at Donal Noye's forge, and he happened to be there when Elder Xiong took the burnt sword." "Take out the sword!" Meisha insisted.Others followed suit. "Bring the sword! Bring the sword! Bring the sword!" So Jon drew his longclaw and turned it side to side for them to admire.The longblade gleamed darkly and deadly in the pale daylight. "This is Valyrian steel," he said gravely, trying to look as happy and proud as he should. "I heard that a man once had a razor made of Valyrian steel," said Todd, "and he shaved his head off when he shaved." Piper chuckled. "The Night's Watch is thousands of years old," he said, "but I bet we, Lord Snow, were the first to burn the conning tower." Everyone laughed, even Jon couldn't help laughing.In fact, the fire he caused didn't really burn down the solid stone tower, but burned all the rooms on the top two floors of the tower, that is, Xiong Lao's residence.The loss was not taken seriously, for the fire also consumed Orther's murderous body. As for the ghoul named Jeff Flower, who was originally a ranger, and later only had one hand left, he was also chopped into pieces by a dozen brothers... However, it first killed Sir Jeremy Lake and the other four.Ser Jeremy had beheaded it, but that didn't stop the headless wight from drawing his dagger and driving it deep into his belly.Neither strength nor courage is of much use against an enemy who is already dead and will never fall; weapons and armor can provide only limited protection. This tragic thought made Jon's already fragile mood even worse. "I'm going to find Habu, and ask him to arrange dinner for the old bear." He announced abruptly to everyone, and then inserted the long claw into the scabbard.He knew his friends meant well, but unfortunately they didn't understand.This is really not their fault: they didn't have to face Orser, they didn't witness the pale light of the dead man's blue eyes, they didn't feel the coldness of the dead man's black fingers, and naturally they didn't care about the fierce battle in the Three Rivers Basin.That being the case, how can they be expected to understand?He turned abruptly and strode away sullenly.Pyp called him after him, but Jon ignored him. After the fire they moved him back to his old stone room in the crumbling Harding Tower.When he got back to the room, Ghost was curled up sleeping by the door, but he looked up when he heard Jon's boots.A direwolf's red eyes are darker than a garnet, and wiser than a human's.Jon knelt down, scratched its ear, and showed it the orb on the sword's tail. "Look, it's you." Bai Ling smelled the stone carving and stuck out his tongue to lick it."The glory is yours," Jon told the pup, smiling, and suddenly he remembered finding it in the snow in late summer.They were going back with the other pups, but Jon heard other voices, and looking back, saw him in the snow, so white that he could hardly tell them apart. "It's all alone," he thought, "far away from its siblings. It's different, so they drive it away." "Jon?" He looked up.Samwell Tarly, with flushed cheeks, stood in front of him, trembling uncomfortably, wrapped tightly in a thick fur cloak, as if about to enter hibernation. "Sam," Jon said, standing up. "What's the matter? Do you want to see that sword too?" Since everyone knew it, Sam was no exception. The fat boy shook his head. "I was my father's heir to the sword," he said mournfully, "and that sword was called Broken Heart. Lord Randyll asked me to hold it several times, but I was terrified each time. It was made of Valerian Made of ferrous steel, so beautiful, and so sharp, I was afraid I might hurt my sisters. Dickon is his heir now." He wiped his sweaty hands on the cloak. "I... um... Maester Aemon wants to see you." Not yet time for a bandage change.Jon frowned suspiciously and asked, "What did he want me for?" Looking at Sam's pitiful appearance, the answer was self-evident. "You told him, didn't you?" Jon snapped. "You told him you told me." "I... he... Jon, I didn't mean... he asked... I mean... I think he just knows that he can see things that other people can't." "He's blind," Jon yelled in disgust. "I know my way." And he walked away, leaving Sam stunned and trembling. Maester Aemon was feeding the ravens in the nest, and Clydas followed him from cage to cage, carrying a pail of sliced ​​meat. "Sam said you wanted to see me?" The maester nodded. "That's what I meant. Clydas, please give the bucket to Jon, maybe he'd be kind enough to do me a favor." The hunchbacked, red-eyed brother handed the bucket to Jon, and hurried down the ladder. "Just throw the meat in the cage," Aemon instructed him. "Birds know for themselves." Jon shifted the bucket to his right hand, and dipped his left into the blood-red flesh.Seeing this, the crows screamed loudly and flew around the iron bars, flapping their night-black wings against the metal cage.The meat was cut into small pieces not much bigger than a knuckle, and he grabbed a handful of bloody red meat slices and threw them into the cage, the screaming and flapping of wings immediately intensified.In order to compete for a piece of good meat, two larger ravens fought with each other, and their feathers fluttered for a while.Jon hastily grabbed another handful and threw it to one of them. "Lord Mormont's crows like fruit and corn." "That's a very rare bird," said the bachelor. "Although most crows also eat millet, they still prefer meat. This not only makes them strong, but I'm afraid they are bloodthirsty by nature. In this regard, they and Humans are quite similar...so, like humans, crows don't have all the same personalities." Jon couldn't answer, so he kept throwing meat, wondering why he had been found.Forget it, when the old man thinks the time is right, he will naturally tell him.Maester Aemon is a man to be reckoned with. "Although pigeons can also be trained to deliver messages," the bachelor continued, "the ravens we use to deliver messages are not only strong, big, courageous, and much smarter, but also more capable of self-defense when encountering eagles... However, the ravens They are black and feed on corpses, so some pious people hate them. Did you know that Baelor, 'Blessed by God,' tried to completely replace ravens with doves? Of course, he failed." The old master smiled , turning those blind white eyes to Jon. "Only the Night Watchmen prefer ravens." Jon's fingers were in the bucket, and the blood was up to his wrist. "I heard from Devin that the wildlings also call us crows." "The crow is a poor cousin of the raven. They are black-feathered beggars, always misunderstood and hated." Jon wished he knew exactly what he was talking about, and why.What do ravens and doves have to do with him?If the old man has something to say, why don't he be straightforward? "Jon, have you ever wondered why the Night's Watch neither marry nor have children?" Maester Aemon asked. Jon shrugged. "I haven't thought about it." He threw some minced meat again.At this moment, his left hand was covered with sticky blood, and his right hand was aching from the weight of the barrel. "Only because of this, they will not be troubled by love," the master asked himself and answered. "Love is the enemy of honor, and it is also the taboo of responsibility." Jon felt that something was wrong, but he said nothing.The old maester was over a hundred years old and was highly respected in the Night Watch Corps, so he had no right to refute him. The old man seemed to notice his disapproval. "Jon, tell me, if one day your lord father had to choose between honor and the one he loves, what do you think he would do?" Jon hesitated.He wanted to say that Duke Ed would never do anything that would damage his reputation, even for love.Yet a sly voice whispered within him: What honor is there in having a bastard?And your mother, did he take responsibility for her?He wouldn't even say her name! "He'll do what he has to do," he draws out, trying to hide his hesitation. "Whatever that is." "Then, Lord Ed is one of the best talents in ten thousand. Most people are not as strong as him. Compared with the love of a woman, what is honor? When you hold a newborn child in your arms... or think of your brother's smile, what is responsibility? What? It's all illusion, it's all empty talk. We are mortals, and the gods in the sky have given us the ability to love. That is the best gift to us, but it is also our deepest sorrow." "The founders of the Night Watch Legion knew that their courage was the only barrier to defending the kingdom and resisting the dark forces in the north. They knew that they could not be distracted, otherwise their determination would be shaken, so they vowed not to marry a wife or have children .” "However, everyone has parents, and all have brothers and sisters. They come from kingdoms and kingdoms with constant disputes, and they also know that although the situation changes, human nature will never change. So they made an oath: the night watchman guards the kingdom, but will never participate in any of it. Battle." "They kept their oath. When Aegon killed Harren the Black and took his kingdom, Harren's brother was the commander-in-chief of the Wall defenders, with ten thousand elite soldiers under him, but he did not send troops. When the Seven Kingdoms were still the Seven Kingdoms In the era of separate kingdoms, in any era, there were at least three or four countries at war with each other, but the Night Watchmen did not participate in the war. When the Andals came across the sea and swept across the kingdoms of the First Men, the descendants of these dead kings still swear , Stick to the post. For thousands of years, it has been consistent, and this is the price of honor." "When a man is fearless, even a coward can show courage that is not inferior to others. When there is no price to pay, we can naturally do our duty. It seems so easy to walk on this road of glory. However, sooner or later in everyone's life there will be a test, and that is the moment when he has to make a choice." Some ravens were still eating, and the thin shreds of meat were hanging from the edge of their long beaks, shaking unceasingly.Most of the crows seemed to be watching him.Jon could feel the weight of each pair of small black eyes resting on him. "Now is the time for me to make a decision... Is that what you mean?" Master Aemon turned his head and "looked" at him with those blind white eyes, as if he could see into his heart.Jon felt naked and could hide nothing.He couldn't help holding the bucket with both hands, and dumped all the remaining minced meat into the cage.Meat strips and blood splashed everywhere, and the ravens spread their wings and screamed frantically.He quickly grabbed the strip of meat in the air and swallowed it greedily.Jon let go of his hand and let the empty barrel "crack" to the ground. The old man held out a withered, blotchy hand and placed it on his shoulder. "Son, it hurts," he said softly. "Oh yeah, making choices... always hurts. Now, always. I know." "No, you don't know," said Jon bitterly. "Nobody does. Even if I were his bastard, he's still my father..." Maester Aemon sighed: "Jon, didn't you listen to what I told you just now? Do you think you are the first to pass the test?" He shook his old head. descriptive action. "Three times the gods of heaven set the test for my vows. Once when I was young, once when I was in my prime, and finally when I was old. I was old and weak, my eyesight was failing, and yet I faced My choice was as cruel as the first time. The raven brought news of my family's death from the south. Black wings, dark news. My relatives died, my reputation was ruined, and my situation was desolate. But I, a frail and blind old man, can What to do? I'm helpless like a baby that's just being fed, but when I think about sitting here, not doing anything, letting them kill my brother's poor grandson, his great-grandson, and innocent children..." The tears in the old man's eyes made Jon speechless with horror. "Who are you?" he asked softly, almost in fear. The old lips were slightly drawn up, revealing a toothless mouth. "It's just a bachelor who graduated from the self-taught city and swore to devote himself to Castle Black and the Night's Watch. In my organization, every time we take the oath and wear the necklace, we have to abandon the original family name." The old man touched the necklace that hung around his thin neck. "My father was Maekar I, and after him my brother Aegon took the throne in my place. My grandfather named me Aemon after Prince Aemon the Dragonknight, his uncle, or he Father, it depends on which version of the story you believe. My original name is..." "Aemon... 'Targaryen'?" Jon couldn't believe it. "It's all in the past," said the old man. "It's in the past. So, you see, Jon, I do understand how you feel...and because I do, I won't ask you to stay or go. You have to make this choice yourself, and then stay with it for the rest of your life, just like me." His voice was only rambling. "Just like me..."