Chapter 6 Chapter 6: The End of the Dream, the Answer to the Mystery of Love

I am not dead.In hindsight, I made at least two mistakes. When I was throwing sleeping pills into the water of Cheng Mo Yuan, I struggled repeatedly.The dose of two tablets is enough for him to sleep for one night, but I was worried that his body would be weak and his heart would not be able to bear the load, so he would have an accident, so I only took one tablet for safety.As a result, as soon as I left, Cheng Moyuan woke up briefly, and immediately notified Song Qiaoxi. At the same time, I was too greedy in drugging myself.I found a bottle full of sleeping pills in my old home. It was the medicine that Jing Xueping took back when he went to the psychiatrist for a mental breakdown because of Ji Chunmao's disappearance.He didn't eat a few slices before throwing them down.That day I found it in the small medicine cabinet in the bathroom and took it with me to meet Cheng Moyuan.I was determined to die, so I poured the whole bottle of medicine into my wine.But I didn't take into account that the drug's properties were developed faster and more violently with the alcohol. After I left the clubhouse, I only walked a few hundred meters before falling headfirst on the snow.As a result, Song Qiaoxi, who followed closely to find someone, soon found me on the street.

And what is most destined is that there is Cheng Moyuan's personal medical team in the clubhouse.They implemented the first emergency treatment for me.Of course I can't die. I fell asleep in the hospital for three days and three nights.All physiological indicators have returned to normal, but it cannot be awakened. This phenomenon also exists.I heard later that the experienced attending physician at the time explained to others that such subconsciously-led comas occur in certain patients, especially suicides.Because the patient is unwilling to face the reality, even if the attempt to die is unsuccessful, it is good to escape for a while.

But I woke up anyway.Except for a little weakness, the body is basically fine.Xiaoxuan rushed forward, hugged me tightly, and refused to let go for a long time.Tears welled up in my eyes too—poor boy, he was terrified. But seeing his mother recovered, Xiaoxuan soon became happy again.Zhao Ningnian prevaricated the child with my sudden illness, and kept Xiaoxuan at his home to take care of him for three days, which calmed Xiaoxuan's emotions well. Shen Xiuwen told me that Song Qiaoxi contacted her as soon as something happened to me.It just so happened that Zhao Ningnian also called. The two rushed to the hospital together, and after a hasty discussion, they made a division of labor.Shen Xiuwen stayed in the hospital to monitor my situation, while Zhao Ningnian took care of Xiaoxuan.Xiaoxuan never saw my "last words".Because Teacher Zhao, like Song Qiaoxi, likes to take care of other people's mobile phones.

I thank Zhao Ningnian from the bottom of my heart.Xiaoxuan couldn't do without him, and he always called Mr. Zhao, taking his words as an imperial decree.My mother is going to step aside. No matter Zhao Ningnian, Song Qiaoxi or Shen Xiuwen, they all kept silent about my suicide as if they had made an appointment.Only Shen Xiuwen hinted when she took me out of the hospital, Zhu Ran, don't just leave Xiaoxuan behind, that child can't stand the blow.Don't worry, I firmly confessed my love to her.I am Jing Xiaoxuan's mother, and I will do my best to him to the end. People are so strange, and now I really don't even have the slightest thought of dying.Or rather, I have died once.enough.

I just asked Shen Xiuwen if I could live in her house temporarily. I'm going to trouble you again.I feel quite ashamed.It's okay, you can stay as long as you want.Xiuwen is still sincere to me, even more selfless than before.She didn't ask me why I didn't go back to my home; I didn't ask her if I had the chance to meet Cheng Moyuan in the past three days.Even the best friends should have their own secrets. We should learn the truths that we didn't understand before. It's shameful to be immature at such an age. After staying at Xiuwen's house for a few days, Xiaoxuan came back from school one day and said, "Mom, Duoduo didn't come to school today. A few days ago he told me that his father was missing, and Duoduo's mother even called the police and cried at home every day. My classmates It is rumored that Uncle Police found Duoduo's father, but he has already been killed."

I was stunned for a while, then remembered to ask: "What did Teacher Zhao say?" "Ms. Zhao told us not to talk nonsense. He said that we should care about friends in person, not talk about them behind their backs." I really feel Xiaoxuan's luck.A good teacher is hard to come by. "Mom, when are we going home?" Xiaoxuan asked. "homesick?" "It's not..." Xiaoxuan rolled his eyes, "You can go to see Duoduo when you go home." So as long as a person is alive, real problems will always be like a mountain blocking the way, and there is no way around it.

The next day, after I sent Xiaoxuan to school, I returned to my home in Jiangjing District.Sitting in the living room, Jiang flute could be heard faintly, everything was like yesterday, as if nothing had happened. Except for me, no one knows about Lu Tianmin's existence.He was like a beautiful bubble that disappeared forever in my dreams, leaving only broken memories.I knew in my heart that even these fragmentary memories would not last long.After all, I don't hate him.Love or hate are both strong emotions, but Lu Tianmin treats me like a snowflake, with melancholy, regret, no regret, no love or hate.

To put it bluntly, I borrowed Lu Tianmin to realize his dream, but the price was too high.The only thing I miss about him is the back that looks exactly like Alex back then.Before he spoke, I was already moved.It's that simple. So I don't hate him. I started to pack things.I have planned many times in my mind, which things are taken away, which things are disposed of, and which things are simply discarded.I did it alone, methodically and calmly.Leaving is inevitable, and I have long accepted this fact.What troubles me now is - where to go? Because there is no answer, so I don't think about it.Since ancient times, human beings have survived countless catastrophes with such an optimistic spirit of muddling along.

There is always a way out.While comforting myself, I worked enthusiastically. The doorbell rang. It turned out to be two policemen.One old and one young.What a coincidence. After entering the door, the two sat down naturally.The elder's eyes were as sharp as electricity, and he kept scanning every corner of the house.There are cartons, articles, and cages all over the floor, and there must be no omission.The young man was modest and responsible for cross-examining me. They came for Ni Shuangxia's death.The young policemen told me that they already knew the relationship between Ni Shuangxia and me.Before Ni Shuangxia died, she was waiting for her grandson to come to her house for a reunion, but I strongly opposed their grandson meeting.So the young policeman asked me if I had been to Jiayuan Community that afternoon.

No, I haven't been. where were you?My child was taken by the nanny and I was looking for the child everywhere.Searched all afternoon?Yes, I was almost insane at the time, fearing that my child would have an accident, so I went to many places to look for it.Does anyone have proof?No, I found it alone.did you find it?Finally, the child's class teacher found it.Are you going to pick up the kids?No.Why?Because I have an important appointment.Don't you even care about your children?I'm relieved that the child is fine.I entrusted him to the care of the child's head teacher, it was safe.

"What's your big date?" Young Cop Presses I took a deep breath: "This is private, I have no comment." The elder raised his eyebrows: "You have the responsibility to cooperate with the investigation." "The date happened after Ni Shuangxia's death as you said, and has nothing to do with the investigation." The two exchanged glances silently. Instead, the young man said, "Ms. Zhu, why didn't you go to Jiayuan Community to look for your child that day? After all, it is your home. According to common sense, you have searched so many places, so you shouldn't miss Jiayuan Community." "Jiayuan Community is just my former home." I said coldly, "Since you have done a thorough investigation, you should know that when I divorced my ex-husband, the joint property including the house belonged to my ex-husband Jing Xueping. Jing Xueping passed away due to illness more than a year ago. I think he must have bequeathed the house to Ni Shuangxia, so Ni Shuangxia could live in it. Not only did I never set foot there myself, I absolutely forbid Xiaoxuan to go there. Besides, my nanny never went there I went to Jiayuan Community, so I don’t think Jing Xiaoxuan will go there at all.” The young policeman frowned: "Ms. Zhu, don't you know that Jing Xueping bequeathed the house in Jiayuan Community to you?" "What?" I thought I had heard wrong. "Before he died, he did a notarization and donated the real estate in Jiayuan Community to you. There are also all deposits, cash, and securities in his name. He left everything to you." I really never thought of it. How could this be?During the divorce, Jing Xueping drove me to nowhere, so I had to agree with him to take all the property.But in the end, he actually returned it to me intact?I can understand that he left some of it for Xiaoxuan, but for me... After all, we have broken our friendship.What's even more strange is that he did this without telling me. What's going on? I raised my eyes blankly: "I really haven't heard of it at all. Are you making a mistake?" The old man became impatient: "Ms. Zhu, we rely on evidence in our affairs. So you'd better be realistic when speaking, and don't play tricks or take chances." I don't turn my head. The young policeman said: "Ms. Zhu, we have evidence to prove that you did go to Jiayuan Community that afternoon and had disputes with Ni Shuangxia over the property or children, which resulted in her death." His words were too strategic.As long as there is a trace of panic or hesitation in my heart, it will be firmly grasped. "No." I replied categorically, "I have never returned to Jiayuan Community since I divorced and moved out, and I have never had any disputes with Ni Shuangxia. If you have solid evidence, you can arrest me and sue me. Otherwise, you can Please leave my house immediately, I have a lot of things to do." They are gone.I fell on my back on the sofa.It took a long time for the heartbeat to calm down. No, I'm not a cunning and repeat offender.I was able to win this round because someone took care of me in advance. Just the day before Xiaoxuan brought back the news of Duoduo's suspension from school, I received a call from Song Qiaoxi.He asked me out for coffee, and some things are inconvenient to talk over the phone. Song Qiaoxi brought me the latest news about Gu Fenghua.After Jian Lin reported the case, the police soon verified that the unknown corpse found in a river on the outskirts of the city was Gu Fenghua.Liang Hongzhi has been identified as a major suspect, and a nationwide hunt has been launched.If nothing else happens, Liang Hongzhi will be arrested soon.At that time, the entanglement between Liang Hongzhi, Ji Chunmao and Gu Fenghua will definitely come to light.But the Guchen Group is doomed. A lot of employees and suppliers are rioting these days, demanding payment of salaries and settlement of arrears.The executives have all become mud bodhisattvas, and no one is in charge of the situation.There were also quite a few people who saw that the situation was not going well, and sneaked away on their own. I think of Bai Lu.Since I woke up from a coma, I never heard anyone mention her again.what is she doingDid you leave too? Song Qiaoxi is very familiar with the investigation process of Gu Fenghua's case.I teased him, are you an investor or a detective agency?He was joking, but he couldn't help thinking about that person in his heart. Song Qiaoxi smiled, "I'm just trying my best. It's just that I have some acquaintances in the public security system, and I can get some information." "By the way, Ms. Zhu, I also heard something. That afternoon in Jiayuan Community, an old lady named Ni Shuangxia fell to her death in the corridor. Does she have something to do with you?" "She is my ex-husband's mother." My heart tightened, "What's wrong?" Song Qiaoxi said easily that some people in the Public Security Bureau suspected that this incident was not a simple accident, but they couldn't find a breakthrough.Because there happened to be no one in the building during the time of the accident, no witnesses could be found.What's even more coincidental is that from that time until night, all the surveillance videos of the community failed, and nothing was recorded.The scene was once again sabotaged by neighbors watching.Fingerprints and footprints were in a mess, and the police couldn't even collect any effective evidence, and they were almost dying of anxiety... Until they broke up, Song Qiaoxi was still lamenting how useless today's detectives are, and they can't do anything without technical means.Human beings rely more and more on technology, and the detectives in the future will probably be replaced by robots. Throughout the meeting, Song Qiaoxi never mentioned Cheng Moyuan.But the message has been conveyed enough - someone is protecting me.So a police surprise attack is unlikely to work.My firm confidence is due to my complete trust in the protector.After twenty years, I can finally entrust my life in his hands.Of course there will be no hesitation. I was so immersed in the joy of the dream come true that I didn't even think about it. The only witness to Ni Shuangxia's death was Bai Lu.Song Qiaoxi and Cheng Moyuan behind him could only get definite news from Bai Lu. It is I who have given up my autonomy.All the previous considerations, calculations, calculations and plans all ended in failure.I'm better off resigning myself to fate.A man is not as strong as his life, and a woman is not as strong as a man. Right now I have only one thing to worry about - finding a new home for Xiaoxuan and myself.In fact, the answer is right in front of me, but... I hesitate. But time waits for no one, a month will soon pass, and if we don't make a decision, Xiaoxuan and I will have to sleep on the street.No more police came to make trouble this month, it seems that there is no need to worry about Ni Shuangxia's affairs. I decided to have a showdown with Jing Xiaoxuan. Coincidentally, when I came home from school that day, Xiaoxuan took the initiative to talk to me: "Mom, Duoduo has changed schools." "Transfer? Where is he going?" "Teacher Zhao said that Duoduo's mother is going to move her family to another place, so Duoduo can no longer be in our school." In fact, I have also heard these days that after Gu Fenghua's death, the accounts of Gu Chen Group were investigated by all parties, and the company's bankruptcy is a foregone conclusion.I don't know how much personal property Jian Lin can keep.But it was clear that the Jiangjing mansion could no longer be lived in.I am very moved that wealth is like a fleeting cloud, and it is a real performance on us.This kind of ups and downs can only be regarded as self-inflicted. I blurted out: "Xiaoxuan, shall we move too?" Xiaoxuan said anxiously, "I don't want to go to Australia." His little face flushed red. "It's not Australia." I quickly explained, "Xiaoxuan, let's go home and live, okay?" "Go home?" The child's black and white eyes were staring straight at my face. I just realized my choice of words, yeah—"go home." Xiaoxuan thought for a moment, "Mom, would you like to go home?" "Me?" I didn't expect the child to ask such a question. "You and Dad always fight at home. I don't like to see you cry." Ah, he remembered it all.Xiaoxuan was only seven years old when we got divorced, and he actually remembered my breakup with Jing Xueping so clearly. I tried my best to force a smile: "Xiaoxuan, no one at home is arguing with mom." Xiaoxuan thought for a moment, and the word Chuan wrinkled between his brows like an adult.Finally concluded: "Then let's go home." I closed my eyes and hugged Xiaoxuan tightly in my arms. That night, Xiaoxuan slipped into my bed.This child is already ten years old, and there will be fewer and fewer opportunities for mother and child to embrace each other in the future.He will grow up, and I will grow old.Jing Xueping and I are the most incompetent parents, bringing too many undue troubles to our children.We are unforgivable. ...At that time, Jing Xueping refused to participate in Gu Fenghua's business any more.But I was like a ghost, my mind was full of shares, commissions, Jiangjingfang and Xiaoxuan's aristocratic school.Since Jing Xueping and I became husband and wife, all the undercurrents have been surging and finally turned into a state of fire and water.But we haven't completely quarreled yet, because Jing Xueping doesn't quarrel with me.No matter how much I pick on it, he just puts up with it. But he quietly did one thing: went to find Gu Fenghua and resigned.When I heard the news, I clearly felt that the little devil that had been in my heart for a long time was rapidly expanding.So powerful that even I can't control it myself. I didn't quarrel with Jingkoping either, I just told him a past story—— I told Jing Xueping about a work-study program I participated in in my sophomore year.I told him that it was the first and only time in my life that I really fell in love with someone.But that person doesn't love me.Why not love, he didn't even pay attention to me seriously.I have tasted all kinds of admiration, inferiority, jealousy and unwillingness in unrequited love, but the obsession grows deeper and deeper.When I finally plucked up the courage to actively beg for the other party's favor, he lightly left a word, telling me to go to him after I was mature enough. How to be mature enough?At the age of twenty, I couldn't figure it out, and I couldn't figure it out.But I can't see him again until I solve this mystery.The longing tormented me so much that I was going crazy. I couldn't bear it anymore, so I could only discuss it with my best friend.Shen Xiuwen is willing to help.But I was determined not to tell the whole story.I half-covered what I said, but she was confused.There is only one thing - what is the maturity of a woman?Shen Xiuwen found the answer from those Western love novels she memorized fluently.With shyness and fear, she put her lips next to my ear and said it, her face flushed. My heart sank and lifted again.Heh, a twenty-year-old woman is not so young and ignorant after all.Just looking at the women around him, there are so many coquettish and charming attitudes in every move that are by no means created out of thin air.To compete with them, unless you can strengthen your own shortcomings? I'm just prone to madness.Women, sooner or later there will always be this day.At that time, I easily convinced myself.All you need to do is find a suitable person who can keep the secret afterwards without taking self-respect.Meeting in the future is bound to be embarrassing, if you want to avoid it, just avoid it. Who else?Jing Xueping - always him.Only him. And so it happened.But I didn't make a major change as I wished, and the most ridiculous thing is that I haven't seen the person I love since then.I heard that he went to Europe and America to do business. From then on, Shen Xiuwen felt sorry for me.Over the years, she has been by my side without complaint and regret, largely because of this incident.This dark secret has become a cancer between Shen Xiuwen and me. The only way for me to keep my self-respect is to avoid my chosen one ever since. I didn't count that I would marry him one day.I didn't even count that this incident made me lose my head in front of him, because he always believed that I had love for him, but he didn't know that I used him from the first day—— Before I finished speaking, Jing Xueping made a move.That was the first time he hit me and the last time.He yelled, wept, and beat him. Zhu Ran, you idiot, idiot!Why are you so stupid! Jing Xueping's eyes were bloodshot, like a mad beast.I ran away from the house and never came back. Jing Xueping has been out of human form since then, and we finished the divorce procedures very quickly.He wanted to leave everything, and I didn't argue with him. How could I have thought that there is still today? To be on the safe side, I will go to the real estate registry to verify.The Jiayuan community is indeed under my name.There are more than 100,000 deposits belonging to me in the bank.My life with Xiaoxuan can be regarded as a survival from a desperate situation. But fortunately, I thought of another problem.The police suspected that Ni Shuangxia's death was related to the ownership of the property. If I moved back to Jiayuan Community now, wouldn't that indirectly prove their suspicion? I quickly called Song Qiaoxi. He quickly set up a meeting with me and pointedly told me to go and confess what had happened to the police. But it was not arranged like this before... I was very surprised. Song Qiaoxi explained that such things tend to get darker and darker, and it is safest to tell the truth.What's more, Ni Shuangxia fell to her death in the first place, so there is no need to worry. Will the police believe me? meeting.Song Qiaoxi's comfort is gentle and powerful, don't worry. I trusted him again. He drove me to the police station.I really became a good citizen who abides by the law and told everything that happened in Jiayuan Community that afternoon. The police asked, why didn't you tell me before? Because I am afraid. No one makes things difficult for me.I signed the printed statement and left without incident. That's it? When I got into Song Qiaoxi's car, I was still a little confused. Yes.Song said that the police only focus on evidence when handling cases.They may have found clues to prove your innocence. I still don't understand, what kind of evidence? He just smiles. I get it, I don't need to worry, let alone think about it. The dust settled. Two days before the agreed delivery deadline, I officially moved out of Jiangjing Apartment with Xiaoxuan and returned to the house we originally lived in.Everything in the old residence is as it was yesterday, as if it was just a return after a long journey. Fang understands things and people are wrong. When he returned to Jiayuan Community, he was not without scruples at first.Both Jing Xueping and Ni Shuangxia have passed away, and Ni Shuangxia is still dead in the corridor.In the first month, every time I went upstairs, I felt a bit chilly.In the dead of night, he would wake up suddenly in a dream that was not a dream, with palpitations.Thinking back carefully, I couldn't find any trace of someone falling into a dream. Time passed day by day, neither Jing Xueping nor Ni Shuangxia ever harassed us.I have come to believe that they do not intend to be our enemies.Or, it was because of Xiaoxuan's face.A few days later, I heard that Ni Shuangxia's ashes were taken away by a distant nephew in the countryside, and she should have been buried in the ground for peace. That night, I put an incense stick for Ni Shuangxia at home, and asked Xiaoxuan to come and pay homage to grandma. Again.To Ni Shuangxia, I admit that I have treated her harshly, but I do not regret it.Because from the beginning to the end, I did not feel sorry for her. In the old home in Jiayuan District, Xiaoxuan and I started our lives again.For Xiaoxuan, the only inconvenience is that he is far away from the school.So I kept the car and took Xiaoxuan to and from school every day.The half-hour drive back and forth has become the best time for our mother and child to communicate.I took over Shen Xiuwen's health care products business, rented out the store, and rented a simple office near my home.Two programmers from Gu Chen were recruited to do development, and a few former employees were left as online customer service, thus moving the business online.The cost has been saved, but the business volume has not decreased, and the benefits are actually better than in the hands of Shen Xiuwen.I give Shen Xiuwen a proportionate share every month to ensure her source of income.But now her expenses are quite limited, and the money is just in the bank.According to Xiuwen, she will donate to the church on a regular basis in the future.I often take Xiaoxuan to visit Xiuwen, and every meeting with her is a pleasant experience.Today's Shen Xiuwen carries the light of faith in every move she makes.I have lost a lot of weight, and my skin is so enviable.She has become more beautiful than ever before, but this beauty does not arouse any desire, only makes people feel kind, even holy.I have to admit that Shen Xiuwen probably really found the meaning of life. Lu Tianmin completely disappeared.For me, this is actually a blessing.Another missing person is Bai Lu.I went to Guchen Group several times when it was liquidated, but I didn't hear any news about her.The building will fall, and who will notice a temporary employee.Bai Lu's coming is the same as her leaving, erratic and mysterious.Hongmei did call me once, crying and begging for my forgiveness.I comforted her a few words and wanted to ask what happened the day Xiaoxuan disappeared, so she hung up the phone hastily.It seems that he still has lingering fears. Liang Hongzhi was quickly arrested and brought to justice, and confessed to the killing of Gu Fenghua and Ji Chunmao.Under the grass outside the small building of the R&D center, Ji Chunmao's bones were dug up.According to Liang Hongzhi's confession, Ji Chunmao was killed to dominate the "Dream Keeper" game, and Gu Fenghua was killed because he didn't want to be bullied by him anymore.According to his own words, even a pompous guy like Gu Fenghua, relying on a few stinky borrowed money, actually bosses around his old Liang and treats him like a slave.He couldn't swallow it.It's better if I kill you and everyone is clean. The above information comes from Song Qiaoxi, who has great powers.He occasionally buys me coffee, and every time he always tells me this and that.It seems that as long as I have him to regularly update, I can stay at home and take charge of the world's important news.But he never mentioned Cheng Mo Yuan.If he doesn't tell, I won't ask.I knew in my heart that even if I asked, I couldn't find out.Song Qiaoxi only listens to the boss's orders. He Cheng Moyuan boss.I haven't seen him for almost a year.In the past twenty years, I have longed for him desperately, and there have also been times when I felt at a loss, but it is not like now, all the ups and downs of emotions are transformed into a kind of peaceful and profound thoughts. I finally learned to resign myself to fate. Now that Mo Yuan is the sky, I no longer look forward to catching him.As long as you raise your head, you can see his shadow, and when you lower your head, you can feel his care.Will suffice. People have no extravagant hopes, and they will be happy. Until—another winter night. The phone rang suddenly.The soft music made me jump straight from the sofa.I haven't panicked like this in a long time.That was the terrible premonition of the immediate cold penetrating into the bones. "Hey?" There was no sound on the other end of the phone, and I heard my teeth chattering. "Hello? Talk! Who are you?" I cried. "It's me—Jonathan." "Ah, Jonathan..." I didn't relax.Song Qiaoxi will not call late at night for no reason, not to mention his voice is too strange... I swallowed dryly and waited for the next article. "Zhu Ran, Mr. Cheng has passed away." I didn't answer, how to answer if I don't understand. "Mr. Cheng passed away." Song Qiaoxi was really considerate and repeated. "When?" I finally figured out what to say. "Just now, uh...an hour ago. It was so sudden, so everyone was confused, so I had the opportunity to inform you." Song Qiaoxi choked, and I heard real grief. So, it's true. There was a slight pain in the heart, like a match just lit, jumping suddenly.I pressed hard on my chest to keep it from rapidly developing into a prairie fire. Song Qiaoxi said in a low voice: "It was a heart attack. He was very peaceful when he went." I let out a long breath—then he got what he wanted, and died a decent death. "That's good." As soon as the words came out, tears welled up.The pain in the heart suddenly broke out, and the pain pierced through the whole body. Sleepless all night.I lay in bed thinking about death over and over again.When my mother died, I grieved.When Jing Xueping died, I was terrified.But Cheng Moyuan's death, I can't figure it out.For twenty years, I have regarded him as a dream, as a belief, as a catastrophe, as a fate, but I never thought that he would die too. Cheng Moyuan died, like each of us, life has come to an end.But how could he be like each of us?I love him because he is like a god in my heart.He freed me from the mediocrity and baseness of life.Even he is dead, what hope do I have. My dream is over. All that's left is regret.How could I walk so simply that day, I should have stayed by his side, even if it was just for one night.Cheng Moyuan will die too, he told me himself! After spending a few days in a daze, Song Qiaoxi asked me to meet.Say something to confess. The location is set at the cafe in the nostalgic area, overlooking the Iron Bridge from the window.Song Qiaoxi suggested it, and I have no objection.I've lost all hope, and I'm still afraid of something that may touch the scene. The last time I came to Tieqiao was when I followed Shen Xiuwen and met Cheng Moyuan.When I came back today, I found that the wasteland on the opposite bank was bustling with work.A high protective net is set up along the wall, and the long arm of the hanging tower reaches straight into the sky.The iron bridge was also completely covered, as if it was undergoing a repair project. In this city, there are countless similar destructions and new constructions every day, which has long been commonplace. I'm early.Song Qiaoxi called to apologize, saying that there was a delay, and asked me to sit down first.Of course, I have no problem, it is better to be still than to move, just to have another look at the bridge by myself.It's not really a remembrance, because my heart is empty. "President Zhu." I looked up and someone sat down across from me.The fair oval face shrank completely, and the eyes appeared darker and bigger, like a Japanese doll.Bai Lu. It was the first time I saw her in black.Long hair shawl, no ponytail.She seemed to grow old and young at the same time. "It's you, long time no see." I said. "Have you enjoyed your stay at home?" "Thank you." She didn't answer my words, she had a straight face and lowered her eyelids.I suddenly realized that this silence was full of arrogance, far from the well-behaved I used to think. I said, "Since you're here, let's make it clear." She looked up again, this time defiantly. "Are you really Ji Chunmao's daughter?" I asked the question that had been on my mind for a long time. There was a starlight in Bai Lu's eyes, and she replied, "It's really interesting, the first time Mr. Cheng met me, he asked me the same question." "Mr. Cheng?" She nodded slowly. There was a thud in my heart, as if a layer of shady curtain was torn off, and the flesh and blood were in pain. "When did you first meet Mr. Cheng?" "That's when you reported to him that you killed Ni Shuangxia." "You know I didn't kill Ni Shuangxia!" "I have no idea." I was about to get angry, but then I laughed again, "He doesn't believe you." It was so obvious that she almost put it all together. "He believed it!" Now it was Bai Lu's turn to get anxious. "He didn't believe it, and he asked you to testify for me." I finally understood why the police finally let me go.In that case, I should also thank Bai Lu. I asked her, "How did you answer Mr. Cheng?" Bai Lu calmed down, her eyes far away.After a while, he opened his mouth and said: "In the nursing home where I grew up, there was only one grandfather named Ji, who was the cook there. Three years ago, a man named Ji Chunmao came to the nursing home and found Grandpa Ji. , asked him to return his daughter who was fostered in a nursing home. Grandpa told Ji Chunmao that his daughter died of illness before she was five years old. Grandpa also scolded Ji Chunmao, saying that he left his family for his own future, and only wanted to come back now that he was rich It was too late to look for it. Ji Chunmao had no choice but to leave in despair, saying that he would come back to look for his daughter when he left, because he felt that grandpa was lying to him. However, he did not come back again. " There was a commotion outside the window, and a large circle of people gathered in front of the parapet of the construction site, as if there was some construction going on.Crowds of spectators gathered under the iron bridge. Our place is still quiet, like watching a play in a box. Bai Lu rubbed her nose and continued, "Although Ji Chunmao didn't come, another person came." She looked at me with the corners of her mouth slightly raised, "Do you know who it is?" Jing Xueping. I couldn't help but close my eyes, my nasal cavity was sore. "He also came to look for Ji Chunmao's daughter. But no matter how much he begged, Grandpa Ji still kept the original words. Jing Xueping had nothing to do. But he didn't turn his head away like Ji Chunmao. He stayed in the nursing home. And , He was seriously ill when he came here, and he got sicker and sicker after he stayed here, and finally couldn't leave at all... This Jing Xueping is really weird." Bai Lu raised the corners of her mouth again, the expression of a young girl is Very playful, but there is a special kind of vicissitudes on her face.It seems to see through the world of mortals. "The old people didn't want to see this outsider, and urged Grandpa Ji to send him away, but he didn't say where his home was, and we had nowhere to send him off. He stayed here for a long time. At first he explained to us, Said that he was sorry for his friend and hurt Ji Chunmao. He knew that Lao Ji had always wanted to find his daughter, so he came to help him realize his wish. But his own health was too bad and he couldn't get out of bed soon. I had to serve him. He lay down every day In bed, not sleeping from morning to night, staring blankly. At first he was very silent, and could not speak a few words all day. I could see that he was very uncomfortable, not only in body, but also in heart, but he was He didn't even hum. But then he got so sick that he started talking non-stop." She gave me a sharp glance and concluded the tirade, "It's all about you." I shake my head.I always thought that Bai Lu was avenging Ji Chunmao.I never dreamed that she was for Jing Xueping. "Jing Xueping asked you to take revenge on me?" "No!" Her face turned red all of a sudden, "He only asked me to help with one thing - to give Xiaoxuan a birthday card that was written in advance. He said that he would definitely not see his son for his tenth birthday But he doesn't want Xiaoxuan to forget Dad so soon." "Then those things..." "Later? Later, I felt that Grandma Ni was too pitiful, and Xiaoxuan was too pitiful, so I tried to arrange for them to meet. I didn't do anything special, but you panicked yourself. Do you know what Jing Xueping said about you? He Saying that you are the stupidest woman in the world is only deceiving yourself. He said that he didn't realize until the end that it was useless to be nice to you. He dug all his heart into you and scared you away instead. So He decided to make you hate him, hate him, because only then will you remember him... He also said that sooner or later you will have tossed everything about yourself, and you have to go home by then. So he wants Take care of your home and your money, it will always be waiting for you to go back." I don't want to cry in front of Bai Lu, but the tears are not up to me. "It's too late to cry now." She wanted to look disdainful, but she failed just like me, her face was full of distress. I picked up the tissue from the table and slowly wiped away the tears. "Are you finished?" Bai Lu said nothing. I started to say: "Thank you for telling me this. It's not that I don't care about Jing Xueping's last situation. But I haven't been able to find anyone to ask. Now, whether it's sadness or happiness, I understand everything. This It’s finally over.” My heart ached so much that I couldn’t continue, I took a deep breath, “I also want to thank you for accompanying Jing Xueping for the last journey. It should be my business, but let You took it. So thank you all the more." Bai Lu wanted to say something, but I made a gesture to stop her.I'm not done yet. I said, "But—" How much truth is hidden behind the "but" wall.Ten thousand sharp arrows have been set up, and I calmly draw the bowstring to its fullest. "But the grievances and grievances between me and Jing Xueping, you are not qualified to make irresponsible remarks. Jing Xueping and I, our classmates, falling in love, getting married, and having children, we spend most of our lives on each other. I gave He gave him the best, and gave him the worst. He did the same, and gave me back all the evil and good that I did to him. For more than 20 years, our blood and flesh We've been together for a long time, we've been together countless times, and we can't separate at all. Therefore, he will miss me until his death. I would rather hate him than let me go." Arrows rained profusely and all fell down.我看清自己的心，遍布血洞，千疮百孔，像一只火红的蜂窝。这也是景雪平的心。因为样子太狰狞、太恐怖，当他把心剖给我时，我无论如何都接受不了。其实我接受不了的，正是我自己的心。人世间就是存在这种感情，靠着彼此伤害来维系。折磨越痛，爱得越深。 终于敢面对真相。 But it was too late. 白璐脸色煞白。她吓坏了，毕竟还年轻。“我要走了。”她嚅嗫。 “你还没回答我，”我向她微笑，“你究竟是不是纪春茂的女儿？” 白璐撅起嘴唇，像小学生在回答问题：“那次我对成先生讲，我从小在养老院长大。没有父母，没有亲人，连名字都是纪爷爷随口给我取的。从懂事起，我就学会了服侍这些爷爷、奶奶们。特别是老人过世的时候，总是我陪在他们身边。老人们讲，看着我年轻的脸，他们咽气也能咽得轻松些。所以，虽然从小到大看过好多次临终，但我一点儿不害怕死。因为老人家都走得特别安详。我总是觉得，他们是去过更快乐的日子去了。可是景雪平来过之后，一切都变了。从他的身上，我头一次看见死的痛苦，那么多不甘心、悔恨，还有留恋……我才知道，原来人生这样苦。苦得叫人根本无法承受。过去，我从没想过要离开养老院，因为那里是我的家，除了养老院我不知还能到哪里去。可是景雪平死后，我在养老院就再也呆不下去了。我不想再给任何人送终，我不想再看见死亡！” 白璐的声音直发颤。我情不自禁地伸出手，轻轻抚摸她的面颊。不论她曾经对我做过什么，此时此刻我都能理解，都能原谅了。poor child. “我去跟纪爷爷讲，我要走。爷爷想了一整晚，太阳出来时他对我说，原本他是不舍得我走的，因为他也想要我给他送终。但是他想通了。我还是应该走。他说孩子走吧，走得越远越好，永远也别再回来。就算哪一天你回来，爷爷也不会认你。” 她的泪静静地落下，滴在我的手背上。有些冷，也有些热。 “还有最后一个问题。” she waits. “是你给我打电话，说景雪平要见我最后一面的？” 她默认了。 “可是那时景雪平已经死了。”我盯住白璐的眼睛，“你打电话的目的究竟是什么？” 她昂起头，轻轻扯动嘴角：“吓吓你” ——笑容，像黑色的花朵在脸上悠悠绽放。 "you……" 宋乔西站在桌边，困惑又热忱地看看我，看看白璐。 白璐腾地站起来，“我在外面等你。”便头也不回地冲出去。 宋乔西摇着头，坐在白璐刚才的位子上。 “你还好吗？”他问得很真诚。 "it is good." 宋乔西轻轻叹息一声：“成先生走得太突然了。” “你在他身边吗？” “在，我们都在。” "us?" “我和白璐。”宋乔西的脸突然红了红。 “白璐？”我一阵恍惚，“为什么是她？” “因为……因为成先生需要人服侍，他又讨厌看见那些医生和护士。白璐挺合适的。” I see. 总是如此。弯道超越不需要特别的技巧，只要领跑的人够傻就行了。 我本来就够傻。连景雪平都这么认为。 我点一点头：“应该的。” “其实最近这段时间，成先生一口气做了许多事情。我们都太大意了！”宋乔西的懊悔是发自内心的，眼圈一下子就红了，“对面那块地，他买下来好久了，半年前突然决定要开发，而且事必躬亲。我也搞不懂，成先生怎么兴致这样高。可是看到他精神状况那么好，又替他高兴。唉，早知道会出意外，我无论如何要拦着他的。结果项目倒是进展神速，半年就完成了规划和设计，马上就能开工了。前些天成先生还高兴地跟我讲，这个项目是他多年的心愿，真想能亲眼看它建成。他说要给这座大厦命名为朱丽叶，还说要亲自为大厦揭幕……” 我没有听见宋后面的话，我的魂魄已经飞散。 ——朱丽叶。 “朱小姐，你没事吧？” 我回过神来，看见宋乔西焦急的脸。 “你今天叫我来，是要说什么？”我问他。 宋乔西跳起来，大力推开窗户。 “看，朱小姐，你看外面。” 一幅巨大的海报，不知何时起，已悬挂在高耸的工地护围外。画面中，一座漆黑的铁桥之畔，白衣黑裙的女子，目光深远，像在寻觅着什么。风，自此岸起，吹进海报里面，扬起她的裙裾。 “极之渴望，终有所得。”我一字一句地念出来。 “拍得真好是不是？”宋乔西兴奋地问。 I didn't speak. 宋乔西太激动了，自顾自地说下去：“我刚才就在指挥挂这个。没想到放大了效果这样好。不过还在做小样的时候，就已经有广告公司来打听模特儿是谁了。白璐干这行会非常有前途的。我打算做她的经纪人呢。成先生真有眼光。” 我揉一揉昏花的老眼。啊是，那海报上的女子，分明就是白璐。 确实有眼光。 “我还计划让白璐把名字改回去，改成原先的白鹭。做模特儿的艺名白鹭更好。朱小姐你说呢？” “原先的什么？”我问得像个傻瓜。 “就是'一行白鹭上青天'的那个白鹭啊。养老院旁的湿地盛产这种鸟，所以她才叫白鹭的。纪白鹭。呵，改成现在这个'璐'是我的临时想法。” "your?" “最初她找到我，说要查清父亲纪春茂的下落。我觉得应该帮她，所以设法把她安排进了顾臣。改名字是为了不引人注意。真叫原来那个'白鹭'的话，就太特别了。”宋乔西看着我，腼腆而歉意地笑了。 他实在不必抱歉。 宋乔西又说：“朱小姐，这幅海报是成先生亲自安排拍摄的。他手上有张珍藏了好多年的样照，只肯给摄影师看。我实在好奇，就乘他不注意偷看了一眼。”宋乔西露出孩子般的调皮神情，将声音压得低低的，“那上面的人就是你，对吗？” 我还能说什么。 “成先生刚一过世，所有的东西就立即被律师接管了。他那些继承人简直和狼没什么区别。我曾经想找到那张样照，但是很可惜……不过我觉得，请你看这幅新海报也是一样的。”多么热切的神情，真不忍心扫他的兴。 我承认：“我很高兴看到这个。谢谢你。” 宋乔西兀自喃喃：“成先生也会高兴的，你说呢？” 是的，那是肯定的。 黄昏了，灯一盏接一盏亮起来。我道别宋乔西，从铁桥下走过，去停车场。巨幅海报就在我的头顶上，被寒风吹得扑棱棱作响。 我停下来，仰起头。海报上女郎的目光穿透时间，穿透生死，那么坚定、无畏。只因她相信即便人心深似海，只要坚守住这份渴望，就有海枯石烂见真心的那一天。 有朝一日，她将成为传奇。她不是我。 快五点了，我加快脚步。要赶去学校接小轩，到家还得做晚饭。单身母亲的日子既简单又劳碌。想到小轩，我的心便如古井，再无半分波澜。 我的生命中已经没有渴望，今后我只为小轩活着。哦，我一直忘记说，小轩长得和景雪平越来越相像了。