Chapter 30 Volume 8 Dream Wedding

So much for the memories. After packing up, I tossed and turned in bed.Elementary school, junior high school, high school, university... I think about the past like a movie, the happy ones and the ones that hurt her heart.Because of the imperfect ending, those things that were once happy now make people feel sadder in retrospect. From Liang Bo, Huang Feng, Fan Junshan, to the person she is about to marry - I kept thinking about the people she dated, the types of contacts, and the characteristics of the people she dated.All her thoughts, full of questions, ended up lingering on the person she was about to marry.

What does that person look like?Is it tall or short?Is it fat or thin?Is it black or white?Does it look like me?Gentle or cheerful?Are you more active than me?Do I know you? All the questions condensed together to form a huge invisible monster. I couldn't see, hear, or feel it. I was powerless to resist, so I could only let it attack, and I was extremely panicked. Chen Yang is getting married, marrying someone I don't know or know. does she love himdoes he love herHe must love her, she is so beautiful, so lovely.She must also love him, otherwise she would not choose to marry him.

That person must have advantages that I can't match.These advantages attracted Chen Yang, which made her agree to the other party's marriage proposal, and made her decide to spend the rest of her life with that person. What will her wedding be like?Where will it be held?Chinese or Western?Grand or simple?Does her in-laws like her?Will her future husband mind her past?Do I want to catch up after being left halfway by her?To catch up with her?Do I have the audacity to go to her wedding?Do you want to confess to her on the spot and drag her away from the wedding? My head was full of questions, I was thinking about it, and my heart was in a mess.I want to sleep off so I don't have to worry about it anymore, but I just can't stop.Then I suffered from insomnia and lay in bed all night, from dark to dawn, until my mother knocked on the door and asked me to have breakfast.

At the dinner table, after hesitating for a long time, I said to my parents: "Dad, Mom, I want to apply for graduate studies in the United States this fall." My dad looked at me in surprise, with a little helplessness on his face.I think he must think that I have made a mistake again, remembering that every time I come out, I come out again.My mother still asked with concern: "What's the matter? Why do you want to go abroad again? Didn't you do well in the state-owned enterprise?" I revealed my scars: "Chen Yang is married." Probably my expression is too heavy and sad.They both froze, looking at each other.After a while, my dad took off his glasses, rubbed his eyes, and said, "I'm sleepy, go back to sleep."

Seeing my dad gone, my mother said: "You have known each other for so long, remember to pack more red envelopes." I lowered my head and said desolately: "I don't want to go, and she didn't invite me either." I thought it would be very difficult to convince my parents to agree to my resignation, but they agreed easily. Think about it too, as qualified parents, they have been working hard for my happiness.Although I am not by their side, although my "unreliability" always makes them sad, as long as I live well, they will eventually accept it willingly.

Ever since I found out that Chen Yang got married on February 9th, my world seemed to be a time bomb. Every hour, every minute, every second of every day was a torment for me.What I do most every day is to look at the calendar, as if reading the time will stop, Chen Yang's wedding will be postponed, and I will have time to disarm the bomb and end the pain in my heart. I live like a countdown to the high school and college entrance examinations. On January 25, despite being sad, I went to the company as usual.Because at the end of the year, you don't even need to fill in the application form for resignation.I told my leaders and colleagues that I would not come next year and that I was planning to study abroad.Everyone was wishing me good luck, and the leader also said with a smile that he hoped that I would come back to work after returning to China.I smiled back and said yes.

When I got home from get off work at night, I received another WeChat message from Zhao Qianqian. Zhao Qianqian sent me a long message: "Actually, I knew you two liked each other when I was in high school. I can see it, but I don't want to admit it. When a girl likes someone, it's considered a good friend. I still don't want to lose. "Do you remember the time when we went to the beach. You and Chen Yang had a great time together, and you left me on the beach and ran away. From that day on, I realized that if this continues, I will lose you. Only Chen Yang said that I slept with you. I specially asked her to accompany me to do the abortion operation, and wanted her to give up on you. Yang Jie, I have always wanted to tell you these words, even though I have done so much, But I don't feel sorry for you at all."

I sighed straight at the phone screen: "Don't talk about the past, I'm sorry for you." Now no matter who mentions Chen Yang to me, I will gasp as if my throat is stuck.I don't want to talk too much, I just want to bury her in my heart forever.Missed, after all, missed. On January 26, I was still at work. After get off work, I went to an intermediary agency for consultation.The teacher who received me said that there is no problem with my grades applying to the top 60 universities in the United States.I remember Chen Yang said that she wanted to go to Syracuse, although Syracuse was not in the top 60.But I suddenly wanted to apply to go there, and I wanted to take a look for her where she couldn't go.So I got an application form from Syracuse.

I stared at that watch in a daze for a long time, so long that I even had that watch in my dreams.I dreamed that I filled out that form and went to Syracuse, and she was standing on campus in her gown, looking at me and laughing. On January 27th, I didn't go to work, so I went to the hotel where she was going to hold her wedding, to take a look.The hotel is luxuriously decorated, but the price is reasonable. It can be seen that Chen Yang chose to get married here after careful consideration. It was the end of the new year, and there were a lot of people who got married. We met several times along the way, and the hotel also held several weddings.I found a place at random, gave a red envelope and got in.I sat at the farthest position from the rostrum, quietly observing the newcomers on the stage, and fantasizing about Chen Yang getting married.It can be seen that the couple is not very happy, and Lang Wuqing concubine has intentions, sooner or later there will be problems.

But they got married anyway. I couldn't help but think, did Chen Yang marry that person because he really loved each other, or did he cooperate with the other person to sing a one-man show?Anyway, they got married anyway.I totally lost her. On January 28, I went back to the primary school we both attended. Because of the holiday, the school gates are locked, leaving only the gatekeeper uncle.The uncle has watched the door here for more than twenty years, and has seen countless people, but he didn't expect him to recognize me at a glance, and let me in after the cold and darkness passed.

I stood outside the classroom where I had been for six years, looking in through the glass window.The desks and chairs in the classroom have been changed a long time ago, single ones, brand new ones, air conditioners, computers and projectors are also installed.Refreshing. I wandered around the campus a few times, and went to the junior high school and high school where I had been.The directly affiliated university also went to see it. Although I couldn't go to school with her there, it was the place we dreamed of after all. On January 29, I went to work as usual.The end of the new year is approaching, the busy peak period has passed, and the finishing work has begun, so I have a lot of leisure.I've been shopping Taobao all day looking for creative wedding gifts.I want to give her something other than gift money.But after looking for a day, I found nothing.The boss said to me in the group: "Give her an umbrella. If the husband doesn't lift it, it will be sunny." I couldn't help laughing, it was funny and heartbroken. I want to give Chen Yang the pile of hearts I folded.But after thinking about it, I finally bought a wedding dress. January 30th. In the afternoon, the express delivery of the wedding dress arrived. It was snow-white, layered and beautiful like clouds.I looked at the wedding dress, imagined her wedding in the wedding dress I bought, imagined the scene of her saying "I do" to me, and burst into tears. At night, he always yelled at me to drink.After the wine and meat passed through the intestines, the boss and I got drunk.The boss sang "Broken Shoes and Broken Hat" on the street with a broken gong, saying, do you still remember that people who get married after we bet will run naked on the street?I said remember.The boss immediately wanted to take off his clothes: "I'll show you a few today." I stopped him and said, "I'm not married, don't make a mistake." "Could it be that I'm getting married?" The boss was stunned for a moment, and rushed over to take off my clothes, "Damn, why don't you hurry up and take them off!" While the boss was pulling on my clothes, he muttered, brother, I'm sorry, I'll treat Yangyang well.In fact, I fell in love with Yangyang the first time I saw her, but because you like her, I have always kept it in my heart.Now that I am married to Yang Yang, I will definitely treat her well, don't worry. Tell the truth after drinking.In addition to being shocked, I yelled like a woman who was molested: "I don't take it off! Someone else married Chen Yang! You are not married to her or anyone else, why should you let me take it off?" "Oh, I made a mistake." The boss calmed down and continued to sing "Broken Shoes" on the street. Singing and singing, he muttered again, "Do you still remember our bet that the person who gets married last will run naked in the street?" I had to repeat: "Remember." ... On January 31st, I woke up in the morning and found myself lying on the bed with someone next to me.In a trance, I mistakenly thought that there really was a time machine in this world, which took me back to the morning when I kissed Chen Yang.I thought that God finally fulfilled my wish, just like what was written in the novel and played on TV, time finally turned back. I reached out to grab the hand of the person beside me, and when I caught it, I put it on my chest happily, closed my eyes and smiled happily. Suddenly, I felt something was wrong, because the hand was a little big and rough.I opened my eyes and found that the boss was sleeping next to me. I quickly threw my hands away like picking up gold but picking up shit.In addition, he kicked the boss to the ground. "Why am I at your house?" The boss looked puzzled after waking up. I was also at a loss: "How do I know?" I clearly remember that the boss said that he would sing "Uneasy" downstairs at Chen Yang's house. I couldn't pull him away. I wanted to see Chen Yang but felt ashamed, so I left the boss and hid far away by myself, and then sat on the ground. Fell asleep. "Could it be Chen Yang?" The boss doesn't remember anything.After analysis, I think Chen Yang got something out of the boss's mouth. Knowing that I was nearby, he called my parents and asked them to pick us up. Thinking that I missed the opportunity to contact Chen Yang again, I always feel very swollen. February 1st.In the new month, Chen Yang's wedding is getting closer.I panicked more and more, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep at night, and didn't think about doing anything.When I think about the past and the future, I can't help but feel sore eyes. After working all day, I don't know how many times I washed my face, and I pretended to be relaxed and told others about my eye inflammation a few times. After get off work, I didn't go home.Sitting by the river alone, drinking wine, smoking a cigarette and blowing the cold wind, chatting with the boss on QQ.After a night of wind, I had a headache and a fever. The next morning, I called the leader and asked for a day off.I got home and lay in bed all day, neither eating nor drinking, not moving.Because of the headache, my energy was sluggish, and I didn't have the time to think about Chen Yang. Instead, I felt much better.I didn't take medicine, didn't go to the hospital, I lay in bed and woke up and slept.I don't know how many times I repeated it. After sweating all over, the fever subsided. On February 3rd, I still hadn't eaten all day, and when I was recovering, I felt extremely uncomfortable when I thought of Chen Yang.I miss the mental state of yesterday very much. In order to make myself feel better, I decided to let myself burn again, so I simply took a cold shower.As expected, I burned up again, and when I lay back on the bed in a daze, I felt so happy that I didn't think about anything. Then I went to the bathroom once.When I stood up, the world spun and I passed out. February 4th.When I woke up, I found myself lying on a hospital bed.My mother was sitting on the side dozing off, and when she saw that I was awake, she approached me nervously and asked, "My dear boy, is there anything else that feels uncomfortable? Are you okay?" My mother said that I had developed pneumonia, which made her very worried. "Mom, I'm hungry." After not eating for two days, I just feel so uncomfortable.Seeing that I wanted to eat, my mother finally relaxed her frown: "What do you want to eat? Mom will buy it for you." I said, "Whatever." My mother went downstairs and bought me a double serving of rice with soy milk.After eating, I still felt hungry, so my mother went downstairs and bought me two more. Throughout the day, I ate and ate like I didn't know how hungry I was.At the end of the meal, he vomited.My mother was so frightened that she was anxious to call the doctor, but I stopped it in time.I wiped the corners of my mouth and said, "I'm fine." After drinking some water, I lay down and slept until two o'clock in the morning on the 5th. I couldn't sleep anymore, so I sat up and played with my phone again.Everyone who reads Chen Yang, uses her Douban, and her Weibo.I was driving QQ, pulling the boss to talk about this. While chatting, I suddenly discovered that she had posted her wedding photo in the junior high school class group. She is so beautiful and gentle in the photo.Although her fiancé was slightly fat, he was also handsome, and his eyes were gentle and full of love as he stared at her. I realized again that she was going to marry a woman.Contrary to what I thought before, they will love each other deeply—for the rest of their lives, they will grow old together with children and grandchildren, and they will live happily ever after. She will be the happiest woman in the world, and they will be the happiest couple in the world. couple.And I'm just one of many unfortunate men in the world. "Just use her and his wedding to draw an imperfect end to my 16 years with her!" I suddenly thought. Some people in the class started chatting about Chen Yang's wedding on Saturday, and everyone took the opportunity to talk about the past in middle school. They talked about a bet they made a long time ago that Chen Yang would marry me in the future.A total of six people participated in this gamble, and as a result, all 6 people bet on me, and the gamble was naturally yellow.After I heard this, I could only smile helplessly. If I had known earlier, I would have made a bet with them, and I would have won a lot. In the ridicule of my classmates, I suddenly understood that not only Zhao Qianqian, but even my parents, my classmates, friends and three roommates in the dormitory... Almost everyone can see that I am Love her, and everyone can see that she loves me.No, to be precise, she once loved me. I'm looking forward to getting there early for Saturday's wedding.I want to go, but I'm afraid. I even had the idea in Mary Su's novel that I wanted to rob a marriage.From the 24th to today, I have watched a lot of movies about snatching marriages, such as "Marriage Proposal", "The Groom Is Not Me", "Fake Marriage" and "Single Men and Women".I think that if I snatch the marriage, the closest possible ending is "Single Men and Women". I dismissed the stupid and ridiculous idea of ​​snatching a marriage.This kind of thing can only happen in novels and film and television works. Even if I really did it, with her character, it is impossible to follow me.Besides, if I make such a fuss, what will her husband, her relatives and friends think of her?I can no longer give her happiness, how can I destroy her happiness again? I told Zhao Qianqian that I would go to Chen Yang's wedding with her, although she didn't invite me, and I knew it would be annoying to come uninvited, but I just wanted to see her one more time, just one more time. I will behave elegantly and be a gentleman, and I will give her the best wishes, and then I will apply for graduate school in the spring or fall, go to a foreign country by myself, go to the school she once wanted to go to, and complete the studies she wants , Maybe I will also meet someone who can accompany me through the rest of my life. In the evening, when I came home and lay in bed, I recalled the bits and pieces of the two of us over the years. I remember when I was in the second grade of junior high school, the school used to force students to take a nap, and stipulated that students who did not go to school at noon every day had to sleep on their desks for 40 minutes.At that time, the seats in the class were adjusted every half a month, and they would be moved back and forth with the same table as a unit. Once, she and I sat in the window seat. That day, everyone else was asleep, me and her not.We leaned on our arms and looked at each other face to face. The warm sunshine poured down from the window and reflected on her face, so beautiful and pure.How I wanted to reach out and touch her lovely face, but I didn't. We just looked at each other for forty minutes without speaking. I fell asleep thinking about it. I dreamed of this scene in my dream, and when I woke up again, it was already early morning.I forgot whether I dreamed of this scene first, or recalled the time because I dreamed of this scene.Dreams and reality are blurred, only the tears on the pillowcase are real. I remember hearing a passage like this: "After liking someone for a long time, it will be hard to forget. The reason is not how unforgettable the person is, but because I have gradually become a second her during the long process of liking her." , every gesture is her shadow, every time I see myself, I can't forget her even more." This sentence couldn't be more suitable when I put it on Chen Yang.The person I will never forget is Chen Yang, and perhaps what is even more unforgettable is the fact that I have loved Chen Yang for so many years.Memory is really a thing that can make people happy and painful. Two days before the wedding, my indecision returned.I had already made up my mind to send her the wedding dress, and I had made up my mind to attend the wedding, but now I am not firm anymore.I'm afraid I won't be able to control myself, I'm afraid I will cry and make trouble, which will embarrass her... I feel more and more that I shouldn't go to her wedding, and I should just be thorough. Not disturbing is my last tenderness.I spent the day in anxiety and trouble. The day before the wedding, I had insomnia again, and when I fell asleep in the wee hours of the morning, I dreamed about her again. I dreamed that she hugged me. I dreamed that she was holding someone else's hand. I dreamed that she was gone with someone else. I dreamed that she said that we should be strangers from now on. I cried in my dream. When I woke up, I realized I wasn't crying.But after waking up, I found that it was a dream, which made me feel worse than her leaving in the dream. How I wish the world I am in now is a dream, just like in Inception, maybe this space where I wrote these words is just another dream of mine, a deeper or shallower dream .Maybe ten or twenty years have passed.When I woke up, I found that she was sitting next to me and listening to the class seriously, and then she stared at me and said that you should be careful when you sleep again. I told the teacher. How wonderful it would be if this could be done.