Chapter 19 Chapter Eighteen A Heavy Responsibility

After sending Chen Yang home, I started walking in the direction of Zhao Qianqian's school.It was getting dark, the lights of thousands of houses were on, and there was a constant flow of traffic all the way.I was alone on the street, in the worst mood. I don't know if I want to see Zhao Qianqian later or to wake up, I chose to walk instead of taking the subway. It takes more than two hours to walk.I didn't know how to smoke at that time, but I don't know why I want to smoke so much.Maybe looking for a way to vent? So when I passed the grocery store, I bought cigarettes and a lighter.

Tired from walking, I sat on the roadside flower bed and lit the first cigarette in my life.The choking smell made me cough.I want to cry, but I can't cry, I'm so sad that I just want to vomit. I squatted on the side of the road retching, and many people walked past me.They looked at me with strange eyes, as if I was a funny monkey.I may be a monkey, a monkey played by God. I went downstairs to Zhao Qianqian's dormitory.I didn't call her, but told the dorm aunt that I was Zhao Qianqian's cousin. Zhao Qianqian called me and said she had a fever, and I came to pick her up.

My aunt readily let me in. When I arrived at the door of Zhao Qianqian's bedroom, I stood there for more than ten minutes, and finally mustered up the courage to knock on the door.Then I saw Zhao Qianqian's face. I saw two faces in one day.Both Chen Yang's face and Zhao Qianqian's face were heartbroken and emaciated.I suddenly realized that I was very hypocritical. I was the one who didn’t dare to chase after love, it was me who didn’t know how to reject it, it was me who didn’t cherish it when I got it, and it was me who was depressed all day long as if I was raped by life.

I found that I was like the scumbag in the girls' mouths, selfish and indifferent to my girlfriend but after all, I got along with him for four years. After entering, I started to help her pack her things.I didn't dare to look at her, so I lowered my head and said, "I'll accompany you to the hotel for a month, or your body won't be able to take it anymore." I probably understood that Chen Yang had already told me everything, Zhao Qianqian did not speak, but followed me silently and obediently.It wasn't until she entered the door of the hotel room that she lay on the bed and burst into tears: "This is my first child, and he just disappeared."

Human emotions are really strange.It was Zhao Qianqian who was hurt the most, but because she didn't love her, she was able to deal with it calmly.I patted her on the back and comforted her in a low voice: "There will be more children in the future. We will get married after graduation." In fact, at that time, I was full of thoughts, since I cared so much, why did I have to kill it?If he hadn't been killed, but had found me directly, Chen Yang might not have been so sad.Perhaps this will be a well-loved comedy.Zhao Qianqian and I got married and had a child. Chen Yang smiled and wished us a happy marriage for a hundred years.

The same problem was completely different because of Zhao Qianqian's handling method. Obviously, she didn't expect me to say that, Zhao Qianqian's pupils dilated slightly, she looked at me in surprise, without saying a word.But from the look on her face, she was obviously happy.She let me sleep with her in my arms, and I hugged her. Sleepless nights with the weight of her head on my arms. The next day, Zhao Qianqian and I asked the school for a month's leave respectively. This month in the hotel, I was already prepared to bear all Zhao Qianqian's venting and hysterical actions, even if she beat me and insulted me, but she didn't.She was just very gentle with me, speaking softly.

She is a patient, but often turns into her to take care of me.She washed the fruit and socks and underwear for me. I was a little embarrassed and told her that I would do the washing, but she did it when I was not paying attention.Every time I come back from buying food outside and eat together, Zhao Qianqian always gives me my favorite food, even though she also likes it. The hotel didn't need her to tidy up, so she put her mind on beautifying it.She bought flowers and vases online, brought over the bonsai I sent, and planted succulents and bowl lotus. Although the succulents died in the end, the bowl lotus did not sprout.

She plans the future for me.She said she wanted to buy a CarryRing ring, she wanted to wear a VeraWang wedding dress, she wanted to take wedding photos in Fiji Island, and she wanted to give birth to twins for me.She will work hard to learn cooking skills, cook delicious meals for me, keep the house in order, and educate her children to be as good as me. She has a future so beautifully conceived that I can't help but want to make it happen.If I didn't care about Chen Yang in my heart, I think I would be so moved by Zhao Qianqian that I would marry her and try my best to live such a life.

"Listen to you, as long as you are happy." I was like a person without a brain, at her mercy. Probably thinking that her emotions had been responded to, Zhao Qianqian was always in a good mood. She would laugh when she saw funny jokes while watching TV, and she would laugh when she saw me. Sometimes she was even more happy when she wandered on the street and saw other people’s children. At first I thought she was really in a good mood, but then I found out that she often sobbed softly in the middle of the night and could still see dried tears on the pillow in the morning. But she didn't say it, so I pretended not to know.