Chapter 18 Chapter Seventeen Tears of Despair

There is a line: "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you will get." Like Chen Yang, I don't eat chocolate, and I also don't know what will happen next. But I always have a hunch.I felt like I dug a big hole for myself and jumped into it, which was very unpleasant.I hope I can get away with it, but paper can never contain fire, what should come will always come. One Saturday afternoon, I stayed at home and watched "Lust, Caution". During that time, I kept watching various movies about love, such as "Love on Lushan Mountain", "Roman Holiday", "Othello", "Edward Scissorhands"...even "Love in Siam".

I substituted myself as the hero of the story, and the love was so deep that I almost shed tears. Looking high, the doorbell rang. Chen Yang came to my house.I opened the door and saw that her face was full of tears, her eyes were red and swollen, and her nose was also red.This was the first time I saw her cry like this, and I suddenly panicked, and didn't know what to do for a while, so I asked with concern: "What's wrong?" Chen Yang didn't speak, and kept crying. I was so distressed that I hurriedly pulled her into the room and pressed her onto the sofa, and poured her a glass of water.I don't know if it was my illusion, but when I touched her, she seemed to tremble.

I kind of cared and asked her again: "What the hell is going on?" She still doesn't speak. I was going crazy, and couldn't help saying loudly: "Have you been bullied? Say, is someone bullying you?" She still didn't say anything. I could only stare blankly, sit aside helplessly watching her cry, and pass her a tissue by the way. I imagined all kinds of possibilities.Something happened to her, something happened to her family, something happened to her friend, something happened to her dog.She didn't say anything, so I could only guess wildly. The more I guessed, the less I knew how to mention and how to comfort her.

My cat was attracted by her, "Mao Miao" called Scale, and kicked her legs, as if to comfort her.She held the cat in her lap, stroking its coat and pursing its mouth tightly. About thirty minutes later, Chen Yang suddenly raised his head and looked at me with resentful and sad eyes: "You must treat Qianqian well." Immediately, I only felt that a piece of my heart had been gouged out, and it was painful.I was stunned for a while, and it took me a long time to remember to ask her: "Why did you say that suddenly?" Did she discover something, or did Zhao Qianqian tell her?

Chen Yang sobbed and said, "Do you know what I did this morning?" I shook my head blankly. Her mouth was flattened, and she burst into tears: "I went to have an abortion with Qianqian, her and your child!" She repeated intermittently, "Yang Jie, you and Qianqian have a baby! It's dead!" Shock, guilt, and remorse surged up all at once, and I felt like a sinner who had committed a huge mistake and committed a heinous crime. After my crime was exposed, I only felt that the world was falling apart after I was arrested.It was as if someone had stripped me of my clothes and strangled my neck. I felt ashamed, out of breath, my mind went blank, and my chest was stuffy like someone had punched me.

I don't know how to respond to her.A few seconds later, I took a few deep breaths and asked her, "What did you say?" I hoped that I had heard it wrong and that everything was an illusion.I even pinched myself really silly and realized it really hurt and it was all real! "I'll accompany—" Chen Yang tried his best to control his emotions, paused for a few seconds, felt that it was almost done, and said word by word, "I accompanied Qianqian to the abortion." Chen Yang raised his head and sobbed: "Qianqian called me last night and asked me to accompany her to the hospital tomorrow morning. I thought she was just sick with a cold, but I found out that she was going to have an abortion when I went today. She told me not to Tell you, but I still can't hold back..."

Before she finished speaking, she began to cry again.I want to comfort her, but I don't know how to comfort her. I'm completely dumbfounded now, I didn't expect to cause so much harm to Zhao Qianqian just once, I didn't expect to do it just once——Recalling that moment now, my mind is still in chaos. The cat ran away, and it was just me and her in the living room.I sat dazedly, while Chen Yang told the whole process intermittently. Chen Yang said that she accompanied Zhao Qianqian for the abortion in the morning, and she watched Zhao Qianqian being helped by the nurse to lie on the bed, the kind of bed with a hole in the bottom.Zhao Qianqian was very scared, her hands were shaking all the time.

Chen Yang wanted to hold Zhao Qianqian's hand to calm her down, but the nurse drove her out.Zhao Qianqian came out not long after, but she felt that it took so long, as if a whole day had passed. After Zhao Qianqian came out, she started to cry and kept crying.She hugged Chen Yang and cried, "My child is gone." After hearing this, Chen Yang was heartbroken.She hugged Zhao Qianqian, and they sat in the corridor of the hospital and cried together. There were many people watching them at that time.She felt that this was not an option, so she accompanied Ruo Zhao Qianqian to take a taxi back to the dormitory.Zhao Qianqian didn't dare to go home, she was afraid that her mother would scold her, and she was even more afraid that her mother would love her dearly.

After getting out of the taxi, they realized that Zhao Qianqian's blood had seeped from her trousers and stained the seat of the taxi.Chen Yang told the driver that Qianqing was just the arrival of his aunt.She said she wanted to pay the master, but the master sighed and said, "Forget it, you guys go." The adoptee sighed again. That sigh was like a sharp knife, not only piercing Zhao Qianqian's heart, but even Chen Yang himself collapsed. Because it was Saturday, Zhao Qianqian's roommates all went home.Chen Yang wanted to take care of her in the dormitory, but Zhao Qianqian refused: "You go, let me be alone."

Chen Yang said that Zhao Qianqian did not cry when she spoke, but tears kept pouring out of her eyes, as if she had died once.Chen Yang asked Zhao Qianqian if it hurt, so she just said it.Zhao Qianqian just cried without saying a word. "Yang Jie, you must treat Qianqian well, you must not let her down, you must spend your whole life with her, and give birth to a healthy child after graduation." Chen Yang cried for a long time and said a lot, as if he had said more than in the previous twelve years.Not more, but deeper.I never knew she had so many thoughts, I was deceived by her cheerful and optimistic appearance.

She cried and talked; I listened and remained silent. I dare not speak.I am not qualified to say anything.I feel sorry for Zhao Qianqian, and even more for Chen Yang. I don't think she will ever love me in her life.I want to hug her, put her on my shoulder, wipe her tears and tell her that everything is not so coincidental. The reason why we have been in the same school is not because of fate but man-made. I want to tell her everything.I want to say that everything should not be like this, the people who should be together are not me and Zhao Qianqian, but me and her.I wanted to tell her I loved her for twelve years, but I couldn't.Because she just accompanied Zhao Qianqian to do the abortion in the morning, and lost my child and Zhao Qianqian's. I cleared my throat and said, "Don't cry, I'll take you home. Uncles and aunts should blame me for not coming home so late." Chen Yang sat dumbly, not moving. I continued, "I'll go find Qianqian after I take you home." I wanted to touch her, I stretched out my hand and drew it back.I was so scared because I realized that the twitch she just had was not my illusion.She started avoiding me, or repelling me. My heart seemed to be being hacked into pieces, I closed my eyes in pain: "I will definitely treat her well, don't worry."