Chapter 16 Volume 5 My whole life is just one loss

On the night of Zhao Qianqian's birthday, she asked me to have dinner, and she came to my dormitory in person.The boys' dormitory is not like the girls' dormitory. The uncles in the building management mostly turn a blind eye to the fact that girls enter the boys' dormitory. I remember that she dressed up carefully that day, but I can't remember exactly what color and style of clothes she was wearing. I just remember that my second child asked her what brand she was wearing, and she said it was Chanel. She dressed up beautifully, pure and sexy, and sprayed on perfume, which instantly brought a sense of freshness to our somewhat sloppy dormitory.

All the roommates who took her letter made a fuss and said they wanted to pry into the corner of my wall.She kept pursing her lips and smiling, completely like a gentle lady. This is Zhao Qianqian's eighteenth birthday, and as her boyfriend, it would be outrageous not to attend, so I had to go reluctantly.When I left the gate of the dormitory building, I remembered that it was a day with an odd number and three people, so I said to Zhao Qianqian: "I'll call Chen Yang, and the three of us will celebrate together." It was dark early that night, and there were no stars and moons to adorn it. Although there were lights on the door of the dormitory, it was still dim.Zhao Qianqian grabbed my sleeve, I couldn't see her face clearly, but from the tone of her voice, she was obviously a bit repulsive: "I want to be with you two times."

Of course I understood what she meant, but I still pretended to be confused: "There are too few people, so I can't get high." Zhao Qianqian tightened her hands on my sleeves: "I just want to have a meal with you in peace, can't I?" Her face was a little cold, and sadness and loneliness were revealed from her eyebrows and eyes.I thought she must have something sad, and I was afraid that it would make her sad even more, so I nodded and said hesitantly, "Then—that's fine." After walking not far, it suddenly began to rain.I told Zhao Qianqian to go back to the dormitory to get an umbrella.

Zhao Qianqian took my hand and raised the umbrella in her hand: "I brought it, we just hold it." The rain was not too heavy, and I was a little lazy, so I didn't refuse. I held Zhao Qianqian's umbrella and held it above the heads of Zhao Qianqian and me.I thought of Chen Yang and I, who also held an umbrella, walked in the rain together.In the rain, we talked and laughed unscrupulously, which was warm and funny. I couldn't help sighing to Zhao Qianqian: "It was also raining before. Let me tell you, don't you feel that Chen Yang is very confused? It rained once before, and she and I..."

Zhao Qianqian interrupted me with an upset tone: "You didn't say 'Happy Birthday' to me." I was a little uninterested and a little embarrassed: "Oh. Sorry, happy birthday to you." "thanks." Zhao Qianqian did not speak any more, she was unprecedentedly taciturn.I didn't speak again, I just felt that the rain seemed to be the glue between me and Chen Yang, and the partition wall between me and Zhao Qianqian. Zhao Qianqian and I left the school gate together, took a taxi to the restaurant. There were only two of us at the table.Candlelight with red wine is extremely romantic, but coupled with Zhao Qianqian's speechless performance, I feel depressed and embarrassed like never before. At the same time, my mood seems to be infected by her, and I feel very lonely.Fortunately, some people called to send blessings, and the atmosphere was relieved.

I gave Zhao Qianqian a bonsai plant with her name and blessings on it, and she was very happy.I drank a lot of wine for this, and I drank a lot of wine. After dinner, the night deepened.Zhao Qianqian's school is a certain distance from the hotel, and the dormitory was probably closed when I rushed back, so I took her to find a hotel to stay temporarily. I found that every time I made a major choice, I was a real idiot, and my IQ was seriously arrears.No, I'm not only stupid, I'm also indecisive and don't know how to say no. Everything is as coincidental as the script, the front desk told us that the standard room is gone.I planned to change to another one, but Zhao Qianqian sat on the sofa in the lobby, closed her eyes and said dizzily, "I'm so tired and dizzy, let's stay here."

I was also a little dizzy, so I nodded and opened a double bed room in this hotel.When I first entered the room, I said, "I'm sleeping on the floor, I won't do anything to you." Zhao Qianqian nodded: "Yes." I took the quilt and slept on the ground.The floor is very hard, the carpet is still hard.I have not been able to fall asleep, this is the first time I have slept in a room with a girl. I was thinking wildly, and my mind was full of Chen Yang.In the middle of the night, sleepiness and alcohol surged together, and when I was about to fall asleep, Zhao Qianqian reached into her clothes from behind and hugged me.

Her voice was gentle and seductive: "Do you want me?" I woke up in an instant, and the following also woke up in an instant. I gritted my teeth and took her hand away, frowning: "I don't want it, you go to sleep." Zhao Qianqian didn't listen to my words, but stuck tighter.Little by little she turned me face to face with her and started kissing my mouth, neck, chest. It is said that men are animals that think from the lower body. There may be a gentleman in this world who can sit still, but it is obviously not me.Under Zhao Qianqian's constant seduction, I finally couldn't wait.At that moment, Chen Yang's face flashed in my mind, and my heart was full of guilt.

I have to say that what Chen Yang said about breaking up with Zhao Qianqian had a deep impact on me.Although, I always encourage myself to think optimistically about the bright future with Chen Yang, but deep down, I always feel that Chen Yang will not be with me, and the sense of loss crawls in my heart like a snake. Desire, curiosity, and a sense of loss overcame my reason and guilt, and it seemed as if a string in my brain had snapped.I don't know what happened, maybe it was instinct.Before I knew it, I tasted the forbidden fruit. It was my first time, Zhao Qianqian was not. After it was over, Zhao Qianqian fell asleep in my arms, and I fell asleep too.When I woke up the next morning, Zhao Qianqian was still pillowing my arm.

I was completely sober, and I was completely blinded. My mind became a garbage dump, messy and messy, and I couldn't even clean it up. My first reaction turned out to be that I was sorry for Chen Yang, even though she was not mine.I don't want her to know about it, I'm afraid she will ignore me after she knows about it. As I was thinking wildly, Zhao Qianqian also woke up.She put her arm on my chest, hugged me and asked shyly, "It's not the first time for me, do you mind?" I replied in a daze: "I don't mind." My mind was full of thoughts on how to keep Chen Yang from knowing about it, and I didn't care what she said at all.

Zhao Qianqian still wanted to have sex with me, but I refused. "Okay." She compromised meekly, kissed me, got up and went to the bathroom.The water was splashing, and I lay in bed feeling like a dream last night. How I wish I woke up from the dream, I am still the one who simply likes Chen Yang, I am still the one who can hold hands with Chen Yang, and I am the one who didn't know Zhao Qianqian before. Zhao Qianqian's first time was given to her boyfriend at that time during the summer vacation after graduating from the third year of junior high school, and they broke up later. The first time I heard Zhao Qianqian talk about her relationship, my mood was a bit complicated.I suddenly felt that she and I felt pity for each other, no, she was a little more pitiful.Her first love boyfriend just likes her money, and doesn't like her much, and I also don't have much love for her. Zhao Qianqian likes me who doesn't love her, and I love Chen Yang who doesn't love me. After taking a shower, we tidied up the room together before leaving.With skin-to-skin contact, Zhao Qianqian became more clingy to me, and when she left, she naturally took my arm. I sent her back to school, and she said goodbye to me reluctantly, and made an appointment to see me again next week.I nodded and watched her leave, then turned and left without any hesitation.