Chapter 92 first quarter

Hexi is really an open place that makes people breathless. From Lingju County in Jincheng County, passing through Zhangye to Yumen, on the left are snow-capped mountains, monotonously high and hopelessly high, and on the right are green grasslands that are boundless as far as the eye can see. About ten miles away, there is a pavilion for soldiers of the Han Dynasty.Those soldiers were carrying halberds, and they kept cruising between the two adjacent pavilions. When they saw us passers-by, they sometimes greeted us with a smile and were very affectionate.Sometimes I can still see them performing the ceremony of changing the guard, and I feel a moment of solemnity in my heart.Although it was July, the season when Chang'an was so hot that it was burning, walking in this corridor was not without chills.This is my first time in Hexi, I only hate myself for coming too late.

For many years, I have been working hard in Chang'an, hoping to be promoted to an official position of two thousand shi.I thought that everything was at my fingertips, and I possessed all the talents required by the Han court.My articles are written so that the Confucian scholars in Lantai and Shiqu Pavilion can be ashamed. My superb skills in the two scriptures "Guliang" and "Guliang" even the doctors in the court would bow their heads, although they are embarrassed to do so .My shooting skills and the fitness of Chaomaitinglou are not inferior to any of the athletes in Qimen and Habayashi.And what I was looking for was just a small doctor's status, but in the end I almost lost my life twice, and in the end I could only make a living as Chen Sui's servant.

All roads are blocked.They said that I have a lack of character, and it is absolutely impossible to include me in the scope of promotion.Shouldn't I be sad if my father died?I really want to go back to Shandong to mourn, but if a person really has a soul after death, my father will see that I am still a commoner, and I will not be at peace in the underworld.They know that the word "filial piety" is on their lips, but they don't know that a poor and lowly person is not qualified to talk about the word "filial piety". Now that Chang'an has lost hope for me, I can only try my luck in the Western Regions.

My father was useless and crippled, and I despised him, even when I was very young.I remember one day, when I just came home from the county school, I saw him with a limping leg, struggling to push the deer cart forward.A wooden post was erected on the deer cart, and some worn-out scissors and scabbards were dangling from it.He shouted from house to house along the street: "Sharpen the scissors! Sharpen the sword! Repair the scabbard!" Seeing me walking towards him, the dirty beard on my face was immediately moved by the smile, and the black and chapped forehead seemed to have changed. brilliance.He parked the deer cart, took out a crumpled cloth bag from his pocket, opened the cloth bag, and inside were a dozen or so crumpled dates.He stuffed the dates to me, smiled flatteringly and said, "Here, go home and tell you, Auntie, don't prepare my food. Just now, an employer invited me to eat dates, and I'm already full. I'll find two more Go back alive."

Then suddenly my heart tightened, and I stopped blaming him for my hard life.That might not be his fault.Poor people don't have to be hateful. Every day when I get home, my mother must be struggling to wash a large basin of clothes in the dilapidated yard.Her laundry is also famous for its cleanliness, and she often commented on the styles and patterns of her employer's clothes, and even talked about the stories behind the various clothes styles, and her conversation was surprisingly gentle.That's why not only Fugui Li, where we poor people live, but also Leshou Li and Xiaoyi Li, where there are many rich people nearby, have people come to ask her to do laundry.The clothes she cuts herself are quite beautiful, but poor families may not be able to make a few clothes a year, and it is unrealistic to make a living by helping others cut clothes.The deepest impression I can remember about my mother is that her thin body is sitting by the huge wooden basin. When she saw me enter the door, she had a gentle smile on her face. She quickly wiped her palms and went to the kitchen to help me. prepare food.Although my family was poor, I never suffered from any hunger, so in the end I grew into such a strong person.My mother took care of my food and clothing, and taught me to recite books and essays.Sometimes I feel incredible when I think that someone so familiar has left me forever.

I didn't see my mother for the last time. When I was released from prison, my mother's head and body had been separated, and her body became thinner and smaller, lying curled up like a small skin pouch lying on the ground, with the mouth of the pouch Open, showing a dark red color.The head lay indifferently on one side of the body, making it difficult to see that the two had such a close relationship.I knelt on the ground, holding her white-haired head, and wept bitterly.Her eyes were closed and she would never look at me again.Regarding "filial piety", I sometimes find it ridiculous.But God knows, what I find ridiculous is only the title of "filial piety". This damned title is supported by so many hypocritical rituals, and the relationship between my mother and I does not need any rituals. Supported, I am ashamed to give my feelings for my mother a title of "filial piety".

"Aweng, do you hate your son? I killed my mother and my wife who was with you day and night." I swallowed hard and said to my father. My father sat motionless on the threshold, like a statue.He was not a man of manners or cleanliness, and my mother later reformed him.When he pushes the deer cart to bite and drink "scissors" around, he will bow and salute his employer when he meets his employer.His legs and feet are inconvenient, so the cramped appearance when he kneels down is like a wounded praying mantis.But since then no one has laughed at him. His mother died, and the etiquette he had painstakingly molded by his mother suddenly collapsed.

"Ah Weng doesn't hate you. How could Ah Weng hate his own son? Because of you, Ah Weng felt that we had lived in this world with you, Ah Weng. Otherwise, Ah Weng would suspect that he did something wrong. A very long dream," he said.I didn't expect his language to be so good. My tears dripped down, and I cried, "But if there is no me, my mother will still be by your side, and your dream will never wake up." He looked at me, limped up to me, squatted down, and touched my cheek with his rough hands.He wiped away my tears and said with a smile: "Tang'er, you silly boy, there will never be endless dreams in this world. Ah Weng, I believe in your aunt's choice. If you work hard, you will definitely succeed You will not let your aunt down, and your aunt will never die in vain."

I hugged my father and started to cry. Since I grew up, I have never cried so often. I really can't bear it. "Your old man is incompetent and has no money to support you to go to Chang'an to apply for an official. Your old lady... woohoo, I really want to die in her place." He started to speak calmly, and suddenly burst into tears. My father and son did not know how long we hugged each other and cried, and the tears were all dried up.Finally, my father said: "Take the money your grandma left you and go to Chang'an. Aunt, I will stay in this room and wait for you to come back with a silver seal."