Chapter 12 Chapter 8 Retirement

In 1998, shortly after I came back from the United States, the development momentum has been good, and Nike is very optimistic about me.At that time, I was being interviewed at Beijing Xiannongtan, and a reporter from Beijing TV asked me what my "biggest dream" was.Nike has kept the video and they used it for an ad after I won a Grand Slam in 2011. Every time I see this ad, I have a special feeling.I watched my 16-year-old self stand in front of the camera without fear, and said to the camera: "The biggest dream? I hope to be in the top ten of my career. I know this goal is very difficult, but I will effort."

At that time, my face was tanned, the baby fat had not faded, and my face was still round. In front of so many people, I was quite timid to say the word "Top Ten" in front of so many people. I didn't have the courage to announce this dream to the world, but at that time I felt that I had to speak out my dream. , It's like making a promise, officially announcing my ideals to the world. For me at the time, this was actually an unattainable dream - the best result of an Asian female player before was set by the famous Japanese player Date, who entered the top four of the WTA.That was the era when Agassi, Sampras, Navratilova and Graf dominated the world.A little later, it was the era of Hingis and the others. The disadvantages of Asian players in tennis were obvious at a glance. We did not have enough experience in major competitions, nor did we have the opportunity to compete with the world's top players.

After winning the French Open, this advertisement released by Nike has become a well-known marketing case in the advertising industry.It may be this video that makes Nike have a good impression of me-different from Chinese cultural traditions, Americans appreciate this confident and direct style.They've been my sponsors since I was a teenager and have never stopped.Every Grand Slam, they would send someone to give me clothes and watch me play from the sidelines.I have become good friends with the Nike staff, and we usually have parties, dinners and so on when we have nothing to do.They even dropped their jobs to be with me to help me recover.I have to thank these loyal partners, they never forsake me, I regard them as the periphery of my team.

After returning from the United States, my communication with the coach has also improved. The coach also thinks that we are older children and will not scold us at every turn.I'm also slowly growing, trying to communicate my thoughts to the coach, and we are slowly learning how to communicate. Soon, I started to fight around.During this period, I won the first challenge singles championship in my career at the ITF Challenge held in Shenzhen; I won the third challenge championship in my career in Westend, Belgium. Winning the final championship, although it was only an ITF event, still made me feel encouraged; the women's doubles team of Li Ting and I won a WTA doubles event, which is also my first WTA event championship.

In late August 2000, my first Grand Slam opportunity came—I got the chance to qualify for the US Open.Unfortunately, due to lack of experience, I was eliminated in the third set of the first round, and I didn't even make it to the main match.As an immature novice, this result is also expected.Originally, I didn't make any demands on myself this time at the US Open. I thought I was here to train and feel the atmosphere of the Grand Slam.In the tennis world, the Grand Slam has the supremacy, is the dream of tennis players, the temple of tennis lovers and the object of media pursuit.Although I didn't achieve better results when I really entered the Grand Slam this time, it left a deep impression on me.Perhaps, at that time, the dream of a Grand Slam champion was planted in my heart like a small seed.As for it being able to take root, sprout, blossom and bear fruit later, I couldn't imagine it at that time.

My competitions in China went relatively smoothly. In the 21st Universiade in Beijing in 2001, I won the singles, women's doubles and mixed doubles triple crowns.In the Guangdong National Games in the same year, I won the women's singles and doubles gold medals at the same time. In this way, by 2002, my world ranking jumped to about 296 or so. In February, I participated in the 75K Challenge held in Midland, USA.It wasn't a big match, but I was in good shape and won eight straight matches from the qualifiers, and finally beat seven players who were ranked higher than me to win the championship.This result is quite good, I have been improving.But at this moment, I gradually became discouraged and no longer wanted to fight.

The main and most direct reason is health. Before the 2002 Asian Games, due to long-term stress and depression, my menstrual period suddenly became disordered.The doctor said it was an endocrine disorder.There is a very simple solution to this problem is to take hormone medicine, but I am allergic to this medicine, and the team doctor is helpless.If the body is in such a condition, the amount of training cannot be increased, and the athletes cannot increase the amount of exercise, so they cannot fight on the field. It was in Beijing in May and June of 2002. We were preparing for the 2002 Asian Games in Busan. The Tennis Management Center invited a doctor from outside to see me. The doctor told the truth, he said : "Her physical condition is really not ideal." In order for me to go to the Asian Games, the leader at the time said, "You just need to give her an injection."

I was horrified to hear these words. I am only 20 years old. Even if I love tennis, I can't ruin my health and happiness for my whole life because of tennis.My first instinct was to call my mother for help.My mother loves her daughter very much. When she heard about this situation, she immediately said: "We will stop beating. The body is for a lifetime." Many years later, I still remember the firmness in my mother's words.At that moment, I suddenly felt that a heavy burden had been lifted, and I was filled with the urge to go home. Some people say that those who don't matter will only see how high you fly, and those who love you will care whether you are tired or not.This sentence is very true to me as an athlete.

At that time, I hadn't trained for two or three months. At that time, my physical condition was so bad that I trained in the morning and symptoms appeared in the afternoon. If I rested immediately in the afternoon, I might be fine if I rested until the evening.My mother firmly disagreed with my continued training.The shadow of my father's illness and death has not completely dissipated, and I have such an uncertain future, and she is also frightened.We don't know what sequelae will be after the injection, we can't ruin our life because of a game! At that time, there were also many media reports about my retirement. Many reporters attributed the reason to "not being able to play mixed doubles with Jiang Shan".That's not fair.I have a physical condition, and it is really an objective situation that I cannot train anymore.

However, the statement about "cannot play mixed doubles with Jiang Shan" is not groundless.This incident has indeed caused me a lot of psychological pressure: Jiang Shan and I have played mixed doubles for 4 years before, and everyone basically recognized our combination and never let us separate. Before the 2001 National Games, there was a National Tennis Finals, and Jiang Shan and I went together to play mixed doubles as usual. We didn’t hear any objections to our mixed doubles before, but when we arrived at the competition site and prepared to draw lots, Suddenly found that our names were taken apart.

I got into a group with another boy, and Jiang Shan got into a group with another girl.The two players were originally a team.They told us that our team leader temporarily disassembled and re-mixed the combination we signed up for, which made them feel very uncomfortable. We were suddenly changed partners without knowing it. Jiang Shan was furious, and I was also very angry.The other two team members didn't know what to do for a while.Everyone discussed for a long time, and finally they changed the name back, and the draw was delayed for an hour and a half. Afterwards, we took the initiative to communicate with the relevant leaders: Can you inform us in advance what decision you are going to make? As a result of the communication, the relevant leaders stated: Let’s do it this time, and you two will definitely be allowed to play mixed doubles after the National Games.We will never do anything. But when the National Games started, we were separated again. We were very uncomfortable, the same thing happened once, and we patted our chests to promise something, and finally it happened again. We are human beings, not pawns on a chessboard.I partnered with Jiang Shan because we have a better game and we have been working together for four years.We have an in-depth understanding of each other's technical routes, as well as a deep and comprehensive understanding of each other's strengths and weaknesses. At that time, it was reported that: "The provincial team decided to dismantle the combination of Li Na and Jiang Shan considering that the strong alliance has a greater chance. However, Li Na has a small calculation in her heart. She hopes to stand on the championship podium with her boyfriend, so that As a commemoration of the relationship between the two." This is really an inexplicable statement, Jiang Shan and I have been partners for several years, and we have already been on the championship podium together.Besides, our feelings don't need to be commemorated in this way. What we find difficult to accept is that the team broke up our combination extremely forcefully without giving any reason.In order to convince us to accept such a grouping result, they promised that if both of our teams enter the finals, the runner-up will also enjoy the National Games championship treatment. I think they got a very important fact wrong: what we want is not treatment, but respect. At that time, the two of us went back without saying anything, but our hearts were even colder. Jiang Shan and his team won the championship in that National Games.The combination of me and another player won the third place.However, none of us felt a tinge of joy. From then on, my body began to behave differently.This may have something to do with my low mood.Because I read in some articles that people's mental stress and problems will actually be projected onto your body, which will eventually cause physical diseases. Hearing my mother say "the body is for life", I immediately relaxed, insomnia and anxiety all left me suddenly, the haze of many days dissipated at once, and my sleep was normal that night. We were in a double room at the time, and I was sharing it with another girl.The other teammates went to training the next day, so I called to book a flight from Beijing to Wuhan.In the afternoon, I got the ticket from the booking company.On the third day, I went out with my packed luggage, took a taxi and went straight to the airport. When I was leaving, I wrote an "Application for Retirement" and put it on the table in the dormitory. In order to show my determination to retire, I didn't even take the racket with me. Retirement Application".Worried about being bumped into and seeing something strange, my luggage was very simple. I put a few simple changes of clothes and daily necessities in the bag I carried and left in a hurry. As soon as I got home, I turned off my phone and didn't answer any calls. Freedom tastes so good! At that time, Jiang Shan had already returned to Wuhan. After the National Games in 2001, after a month of national team training, he went to the national team to talk to the leaders. The national team leaders agreed to his retirement, and he came back.He retired half a year earlier than me. Jiang Shan's previous experience was much worse than mine. He was repeatedly tossed and tortured many times. Forcibly breaking up our combination was just the last straw that broke the camel's back. He suffered even more injuries before. In September 2002, we walked into the gate of the university together.We were going to study at Wuhan University, but at this time the Hubei provincial team had a new leader, and the leader who we forcibly dismantled was transferred to another place. The new leader of the Hubei team helped us contact Huazhong University of Science and Technology.At that time, we were still members of the Hubei team. No matter where we went or when we left, we had to give the Hubei team an explanation, so we entered Huazhong University of Science and Technology. At that time, I didn't know that I would come back after saying goodbye to tennis.Just like now, I can't judge whether the two-year retirement life is good or bad for me.I saw a sentence in it: "You can't see the future from the present point; only when you look back, you will find the relationship between them. So you must believe that those bits and pieces will be in your future. In life, connected in some way." These words fit my state of mind.I think that maybe I will not be able to make an accurate evaluation of the choices I made when I was young until I am in my seventies and eighties and I quit this industry completely.But at that time, I didn't really think about the impact of my retirement. I just wanted to pursue a fulfilling and free life, and I wanted to live according to my own will. I watched a lot of movies when I was retired. In a domestic film, I saw Zhou Xun, who was not yet popular at the time, playing a blind girl. Kill me. If you don’t kill me, I will kneel down and beg for food for the rest of my life, life is not dignified.” This line hit me like a high-speed tennis ball.At that time, I felt like I had found my confidant. I would rather not have a life without dignity.Turns out I wasn't the only one thinking this way. I started playing tennis when I was a little girl who didn't know much about it.Tennis has an unrivaled place in my life.Tennis has brought me too many ups and downs, too many joys and sorrows, and my feelings for it are full of contradictions.Now, there is finally an opportunity to change in front of me, and I grasp it without hesitation. I need to change, I want to change my way of life, and live peacefully like an ordinary person. I had been in the sports circle before, and suddenly entered the university, and I felt a kind of joy of changing my appearance.It seems that life can have a new beginning, and I am both awed and filled with joy at this new beginning.