Chapter 2 (1)

"One is desperately thinking about her, and the other is desperately thinking about her. This is the biggest difference between masturbation and sex." ——Diary 1 She is Yang Hong, my girlfriend, who is as beautiful as a female spy of the Kuomintang, which often makes me wake up from my sleep in the middle of the night.But what makes me even more ecstatic is her big and crazy breasts that make all the boys gasp. Every time I go to the street with me, there will be some unseemly men staring at her with gritted teeth. There will be some unmatched fashionable women pouting their lips, but Yang Hong doesn't mind about it, she still wears her tight T-shirt and shakes her impressive curves and said proudly: "What's the comparison? , I started wearing my mother's bra when I was in the second grade of junior high school!"

The beautiful Yang Hong was my first love. Although I looked like a fool at the time, I was also her first love.When I think of this, I often have fun for a long time like picking up money. Since the two of us are each other's first love, we can imagine how beautiful our love is, how pure our feelings are, and how full our spiritual communication is. , how slow the physical progress is! "One is not thinking about that at all, and the other is thinking about it at all times. This may be the biggest difference between first love and other random love." ——Diary 2 Six months after writing this diary, I realized: This may not be the biggest difference between first love and casual love.My interests and desires are rapidly changing to promiscuous love. Although Yang Hong often satisfies my various shameless requests with tolerance and generosity, she often issues warnings at critical moments: "Are you just thinking about this?" !?" And every time I further explored the beauty and magic of the physical world, I always couldn't escape the overwhelming self-blame from the bottom of my heart. "I'm sorry, I won't do it next time!": I replied with great sincerity.

After about 200 times of "Never again!", I am a sophomore who has long since stopped blaming himself for it, and the hair on the top of his head has decreased dramatically due to the dramatic increase in sexual knowledge in his head. , I also carried a pair of big black-rimmed glasses weighing half a catty on my nose. It may be because I often grinned in class. The students all kindly called me "Old Secretary". I am a very quiet person, and I like to study with undergraduate science books, so my roommates gave me another nickname: Melancholic Doctor of Sex. Yang Hong is still pure and bright, and she has also learned to wear clothes, surpassing the simplicity and boldness of "two red apricots fighting for the wall" and achieving the restraint and subtlety of "the spring scenery in the garden can't be closed", which is more in line with the ancient oriental tradition Aesthetically, Yang Hong has also become an idol-level figure in the whole school in one fell swoop, which makes me feel pressured. There are often such comments in my ears, "This is Yang Hong's boyfriend!" Can't think about it!"...

In order to deal with the harm of these rumors, I often cheer myself up. I think: Yang Hong and I are both talented and beautiful. "One is someone the whole school wants to see, and the other is someone the whole school doesn't want to see. This is the difference between Xiaoshahong and me." ——Diary Three The weather in this old city in spring and summer is scorchingly hot, roads are being built everywhere, and renovations are everywhere, just like putting on an old lady with heavy make-up, which makes people tired and crooked. In this frustrating season, Yang Hong proved to me very euphemistically in an unexpected way-she is already mine!

This process is so unbelievable that I feel particularly contradictory and uneasy, because it has nothing to do with what I imagined, or in other words, he destroyed my vision, "One is the happiest person in the world, and the other is the most depressed person in the world. This is the difference between me and Chengxiaolou." ——Diary 4 Cheng Xiaolou is a rookie in the mahjong world suffering from hunger and cold. Because he often loses all his bath tickets on the mahjong table, he has to go to the water room in the middle of the night to solve the problem with cold water. Later, in the dormitory, bath tickets were changed to meal tickets instead, so Chengxiaolou also uttered strange screams on the bed. Whenever this happened, the roommate would play the song "Legend of Hungry Wolf" by old Jacky Cheung to cheer him up. At the very least, if you are really hungry and can't stand it, Cheng Xiaolou will go to find his girlfriend, make some stereotyped oaths and ask for meal tickets.

Cheng Xiaolou seems to be me, because I am the only one in the dormitory who has a girlfriend. "The sound of the wind, the sound of the rain, the sound of reading, I don't make a sound; family affairs, state affairs, and world affairs are none of my business." This is an inspirational couplet hung on his bed by Gao Yang, a young poet who weighs 85 kilograms.The 21-year-old poet Gao Yang has not written a poem for 21 years. His daily life is to lie on the bed with bare buttocks and eat martial arts. He has read all the martial arts books he has seen. His ideal is In his lifetime, he can touch the genitals of his idol writer Mr. Jin Yong. Like an African native, he superstitiously believes that genitals are the "soul" of people and all things. He wants to touch the "soul" of old Jin Yong! ... If there is no book to read, Gao Yang will write by himself, touching his genitals to fill in some deleted passages, because he cannot experience life without a girlfriend, so he uses midnight to study and watch a lot of porn, because he spends all day His eyes were blurred and he crawled on the bed and wailed something similar to "life is like a dream", so the roommates also poetically called him - "Ru Meng"

Usually, when the roommates return to the dormitory and find that "Ru Meng" is not there, they will feel as if they have lost their souls and look around frantically (he will mostly watch porn in someone's room at this time), but today is different, today is the city. Xiaolou took the initiative to wake him up from the bed at the risk of his life, and coaxed him out at the cost of two bath tickets, because Yang Hong was coming at noon...