Chapter 24 Chapter Twenty-Four

She finally called Ruan Zhengdong and said that she still had some things to do, so she postponed her return for a day. He didn't have any doubts, and answered her in a relaxed tone: "Okay, it's one day late, but I have to charge interest." He always liked joking like this, but she didn't pay much attention. How that day passed was like a dream, but it was clear and distinct. Meng Heping drove her to the western suburbs, and she saw the first real estate he developed that year, with beautiful mountains and clear waters, and the villa was hidden in it, very quiet. Among them is a courtyard house, but it is his own.

When she saw the spacious old-style kitchen and the big Chinese stove, he just smiled: "I promised you, and I can finally do it." It was a joke back then, but he did it wholeheartedly. After so many years of hard work to make money, he finally did it.He built her a big house and built a big Chinese stove. "At that time, I always thought, we want to raise some chickens, ducklings, and plant a grape arbor in the backyard. Then we will have a few children, and we will eat under the grape arbor on summer nights. The children may ask, Dad, how are you doing? If I catch up with my mother, then I can tell him a little bit about our hard work for so many years."

She listened to him with a smile, a bit of warm sunlight in the deep winter shone on his forehead, pulsating lightly, and he was also smiling. Obviously knowing that there is no way to go back, knowing that everything is already impossible to go back.But sober, let the pain invade bit by bit. They didn't mention tomorrow, they just had a tacit understanding like old friends meeting again.Then I drove to a farmhouse in the nearby countryside and bought some vegetables. It was her first time to cook with a large stove, but the two of them coughed and choked, and it took a lot of effort to start a fire. The rice was steamed and the dishes were not cooked well, but they were finally cooked.

Finally able to sit down, facing a table of side dishes.She smiled and said: "The fire is too big, and it can't be turned off like gas, which makes me scramble, and it still burns." He didn't move his chopsticks. Finally, she said, "Eat." He lowered his head, slowly picked up Lai, and put it in his mouth.The two of them ate very slowly, bit by bit, swallowing every grain of rice. Everything he had with her was so beautiful and good, even if he couldn't pick it up again, it was always worth it to experience it like this. After eating, she went to wash the dishes. Although there was a dishwasher, she stood in front of the sink and cleaned them one by one. She washed very carefully, washing every bowl and every dish. Be spotless.Meng Heping took a dry rag, stood by the sink, and dried the dishes she had washed one by one.The sunlight outside the door came in and saw his figure, and his long and thin shadow was reflected on the ground.

Jiaqi put a stack of washed bowls into the disinfection cabinet. Just as she was on tiptoe, he suddenly hugged her waist from behind. She moved, but stopped there, and didn't look back. He buried his face on her back, she was still so thin, her shoulder blades were so thin that people felt pitiful.After so many years, he can also know that it is her smell, he remembers. That was his wedding day, she was the one he had. "Jiaqi." His voice was very low. She didn't answer him. He said: "In the future, you must live happier than me." The water in the hose was still rushing, and he was like a stone statue, motionless. After a long time, he said: "You must live a happier life than me, because I will always wait for you."

He said: "I will wait for you, always waiting, forever." "If I can't wait for you in this life, I will wait, I will wait until the next life." "Even in the next life, I still won't be able to wait for you. In the next life, in the next life... I will wait, wait, until I meet you." She cannot speak. The water was rushing, like it was raining, and the torrential rain of life was pouring like a rope, endlessly whipping but could not stop. None of them could go back. Those youthful and obsessive love, those unforgettable moments, engraved in my heart bit by bit, cannot be touched, cannot be forgotten.

She finally said, "Please, promise me one thing." He said, "Okay." He said, "No matter what you want me to promise, I will promise you." He takes her to the airport. Her luggage was only a small piece, she held it in her hand, and said to him: "We agreed, you are not allowed to get out of the car, you are not allowed to enter the terminal hall, you have to turn your face away, and you are not allowed to look at me, I When you leave, you are not allowed to remember me, and from now on, you must forget me forever." Every time she said "No", he nodded with a smile, nodded heavily, and always smiled.

Finally, she said: "I'm leaving, you turn your face away." He obediently turned his face away from her. She carried the suitcase, got out of the car, and hurried to the departure hall. He sat in the car, obediently, with his face turned away. He looked at himself in the rearview mirror, trying to maintain a smile, but tears flowed quietly all over his face. He obviously couldn't do it, but he agreed to all of them. As long as it's what she wants, he can agree to it. No matter what she said, as long as it was what she wanted, he could agree to it. There is a huge airport behind, and countless planes are roaring to take off and land, entering and leaving the airport.

And there is a plane, carrying her, leaving him. He promised her, never look back, never look, she left him. From then on, everyone went to different places. Jiaqi left very quickly. When entering the waiting hall, the broadcast was urging for the last time: "Flight FM1521 to Shanghai has already started boarding. Passengers who take this flight to Shanghai, please check in as soon as possible." The hall is full of people, countless bustling tourists, leaving home or returning home from here.And she stood in the middle of the crowd, feeling weak and dazed. Ruan Zhengdong always said that she has a kind of lonely courage, which only she knows. In fact, it is because of cowardice, so she always tries to order herself to be brave, thinking that she is really brave.

Her so-called bravery is actually just a snail's shell, seemingly solid, but actually vulnerable. She just wanted to escape cowardly. She couldn't order herself, there were so many people walking around, but she felt so lonely that she shivered. Her legs were so weak that she could hardly stand anymore.Finally put down the luggage and sat on the chair. A steady stream of people passed by her, but her mind went blank, she just felt extremely tired, she wanted to go home, she just wanted to go home.I'm just tired, like I'm going to cry, but I can't cry, I'm so tired, I just want to go home quickly and sleep with my head covered.But I knew in my heart that I was not going back to my apartment, but to go home, to the home with my father.In a warm, small home, a child can leave everything to his father to worry about for him, and he can think about nothing.

As long as there is a home, she just wants to go home. She was so sleepy that she just wanted to go home. If you can, be a little child and go home, the quiet and safe little old house, that's her home. She no longer has the strength to persist, she no longer has the strength to be brave, she just wants to go home. Let it all go. It's so far away, but it's only an hour's flight. When she got out of the airport, she hailed a taxi, and the sky was getting dark. The dusk in this city seemed to be colder than that in Beijing. The driver was not willing to run long distances, so she gave him an extra 100 yuan before he agreed. Directly on the highway, the holly in the isolation zone was cut flat, because the speed of the car was fast, and in the dim night, the neatly arranged plants seemed to be fences, almost connected together.And the small orange dots, reflecting the light of the headlights, formed a long and lonely queue. The taxi driver was playing songs all the time, but the effect of the CD was not good, and there was a slight creaking sound in the middle of singing. An old song, sung over and over again: "Wait for you to love me...wait for you to love me..." Very tacky song, it was the theme song of a TV series many years ago, so persistent, so firm, but who has enough courage to really carry love to the end. The night of the small town is extraordinarily peaceful in the little lights. She hasn't been back since her father died. After walking down the bridge, she stood at the familiar alley, and the sound of the TVs in the houses on both sides could be faintly heard, but she didn't dare to go any further. Knowing clearly, knowing that all that will never happen again, everything she once had.Her home, as well as her father who loved her the most, are gone. On a clear winter night, the sky was full of bright stars, but the cold wind made her hands and feet cold. After her father died, in order to repay the 50,000 yuan, she sold the house where she had lived with her father for decades.There is also a little pension from the factory, and the little money she saved from work. She scraped together all the money used for medical expenses, deposited it back to the bank card, and then sent it to Shenyang. . She doesn't owe a dime, and my father doesn't owe a dime either. For that person and that matter, she didn't want her father to take any humiliating gestures. That was the debt she owed her father. She couldn't even keep her last home, so she had to exchange their home for her father's last dignity. That was the place where she lived with her father for nearly twenty years. After going to college, the days of returning home during the winter and summer vacations every year were always very precious.Every time I go home and see a corner of the small building behind the wall from a distance, I feel suddenly relieved. She is coming home. No matter how difficult and tiring it is to be outside, as long as she thinks that there is still a home, and there is still a home, she can always bear the humiliation. As long as there is a home, her home, there will always be a warm light waiting for her. No matter when, no matter where, no matter how far she finally went, she knew that her father would be at home, waiting for her at home. But now, she no longer has a home. She actually had to sell it in exchange for the remaining dignity. On the day she sold the house, she didn't cry, but she really knew what it means to be heartbroken.She has lived in that small building since she was born, and she knows that in every step and every window, she remembers the time with her father.She knew that every cabinet door and every chair left the fingerprints of her father's caress. That is what she cherishes the most, and it is the only thing she has left. But she couldn't even keep this memory, she had to betray, when there was no way out. It was at that time that I understood what despair and brokenness are. She sold the most cherished thing, but in return, it was lost forever. She never came back without the face, and came back to face everything she had with her father. Those most beautiful and best times, those warmest and warmest memories. She dragged the box and walked back to the bridge. The stone slabs of the bridge railings are as cold as ice. Sitting down, it seems like many years ago, when a very young girl left school and forgot to bring her keys, so she had to wait here for her father to come back. Just wait for a while, Dad will push the bicycle and walk up the bridge from the bridgehead, and familiar figures will appear in the field of vision little by little. The river is silent, the wind is very cold, and the lights of the houses on both sides are reflected in the river, rippling with a warm orange halo. But no one will come back to open the door for her, and there will be no more lights, it will be her home. For so many years, during the hardest time, she also shed tears, hid in the quilt, and cried silently, but no one would wipe away her tears with gentle palms. After so many years, she came back here with nothing. Empty hands, exhausted physically and mentally, nothing, even a heart turned to ashes. She didn't know how long she sat there, until the lights of the people in the distance went out one by one, the night was as thick as ink, and the wind blew through her heart. And she never went back. The desperate emptiness and coldness made her tremble all the time. She is never going back. The river under the bridge flowed silently in the darkness, and she leaned against the bridge railing, her vision blurred a little bit. "Dad, I'm back." "Dad, please help me, I'm helpless, I don't know what to do." "Dad, I'm going home, I miss home." "I just want to go home, please, let me go home." A new inn opened on the other side of the old street, with a small signboard, brand new paint, and a pair of red lanterns hung at the door.Due to the increasing number of tourists in recent years, there are several decent hotels in the town. The light was still on, so she knocked on the door.The young proprietress didn't recognize her, but welcomed her in warmly. Everything in the upstairs room is new, even the curtains are a fresh and lively orange pattern, the room is a so-called standard room, and there is a small bathroom.Gas water heater, the proprietress patiently taught her to adjust the water temperature. She took a hot bath, and at midnight, the entire ancient town had almost fallen asleep, the sound of rushing water was lonely and clear, and the hot water hit her body, causing a slight pain. Without a hairdryer, she wiped her wet hair casually with a towel. Jiaqi felt extremely tired and fell asleep just like that. When it was almost dawn, she woke up in a daze, her whole body was hot, and every inch of her flesh seemed to be crispy, and it hurt when the quilt rubbed against it. She knew that she had a fever, but she was so tired that she didn't even have the strength to open her eyes, she just fell asleep drowsily.The mouth is very dry, the skin on the lips is all peeled, and it is so tight that it hurts, and I only feel that the breath I exhale is hot.I got up and poured a glass of water. Because it was hot, I drank two sips and then fell asleep. I had random dreams, and it was because I was sick when I was a child, and my father touched his forehead to see if the fever had subsided.His father's hand was cool and gentle, like a feather, brushing her forehead. After a while, she dreamed that the last time she was given an IV in the hospital, she fell asleep, and the nurse pulled out the needle for her, while Ruan Zhengdong leaned over to look at her, and gently pressed the cotton wool for her. All of a sudden, she was left alone in the empty hospital. There were no doctors or nurses, and the long, long corridor was as silent as death.She felt cold all over, and pushed open the doors of each ward, but the doors were all empty.She didn't know what she was looking for, as if she had lost something important, but she couldn't find it, and she didn't know what to look for. She just kept trembling, terrified, and pushed every door open, but she always found it. Can't find what I'm looking for. She woke up from the dream, through the curtains, the sun was a shadow, as if there was an orange light. She felt palpitations and pressed her hands on her chest, unable to move for a while. Perhaps because of the fever, I was extremely weak and weak. Finally struggling to get up, I walked slowly to the medical station in the town. After so many years, the medical station is still so simple.The doctors and nurses were all young people, and she didn't know any of them. The doctor prescribed medicine, but the most common cold made her so sick and powerless. The medicine dripped very slowly, and it took a long time before it was finished.She was the only one in the infusion room. She sat alone on the bench and watched the medicine drop by drop.She hasn't eaten anything since last night, but she doesn't feel hungry, her body seems to be stupefied, mechanical and dull. Someone passed by the corridor outside the door, and they had already passed in front of her, but suddenly they turned around and called her hesitantly, "Jiaqi?" It took her a long time to recognize it. It turned out to be my neighbor Uncle Sun who lived downstairs for more than ten years. Uncle Sun was both surprised and delighted: "Jiaqi, is it really you? You're back? Why are you here?" She didn't know how to answer, so she tried to smile. Uncle Sun came to get the medicine, but he stayed with her to finish the injection. He insisted that she go home with him, and said: "We have lived upstairs and downstairs for more than ten years, and you are just like my own daughter. Why don't you go home and have a look. And now you are sick again, so go home and let me see you." Auntie Qiao will cook hot porridge for you, if you catch a cold, just eat it warm and you will be fine." She just nodded. After a pause, Uncle Sun said, "Jiaqi, we've been waiting for you to come back." She didn't understand this sentence until she walked into the familiar courtyard gate and saw the familiar house. She stood in the courtyard, looked up at the familiar small building, the familiar window, and everything she had ever had. Sour, I almost shed tears. Uncle Sun said, "Why don't you go upstairs and have a look?" And she just shook her head. She didn't dare, the so-called loneliness and bravery she had always called was just that she had no home, so she had to put all her eggs in one basket. She is a child without a home, everything is only herself, so she has to be brave. No matter what she faced, she didn't have any support, so she deceived herself like this, thinking that she was brave, but in fact, she was just weak and dared not admit that she had no way out, no support, so she had to be brave. She didn't have the right to cry loudly, so she held back all the tears in her heart. Because she has no way home, home is lost to her. Aunt Sun's eyes also turned red when she saw her appearance. She said: "Good boy, you have bought it back. He has already bought the house for you. Don't be sad." Jiaqi didn't understand, until Uncle Sun brought her the key, and Aunt Sun took her by the hand and accompanied her upstairs. When the key was inserted into the lock, when the familiar door was pushed open, everything in the house appeared before her eyes. Everything is still where it was. Her and her father's home are still here, unexpectedly still here. She always thought that in this world, she would never have a home again. She always thought that she would not be able to stand here anymore. She always thought that there would be no such miracle in this world. She couldn't restrain her body from shaking, and covered her mouth with her hand, so she didn't cry out. Uncle Sun said: "Now you have such a boyfriend who treats you so well. If your father knows, he will feel at ease. When Mr. Ruan came last month, he said he wanted to buy this house. Lao Li refused at first. In the end, Mr. Ruan could buy the best new house in the town when he paid 150,000 yuan. We all thought it was strange, but Mr. Ruan said that he actually wanted to help You buy it back and say that you have lived here for so many years, this house is your home. He just wants to give you a home, no matter how new or good the house is, it is not a home for you, only this house , only here is your home. "At that time, Lao Li's family and our neighbors felt that it was not easy for him. He spent such a lot of thought and ran to this unfamiliar place for you. So Lao Li didn't say anything else, as long as he paid 60,000 yuan, he would be fine. I sold the house to him, and started looking for a house to move the next day. At that time, Mr. Ruan thanked Lao Li all the time, and also said that he thanked the neighbors for helping in the middle, and invited us to eat at the best restaurant in the town. Mr. Ruan is really kind, but he doesn’t know how to drink. We persuaded him to break his tongue, but he only drank a small cup. He also said that it was because everyone was too enthusiastic and treated you like a daughter, let alone an outsider, so He can't stop drinking. At that time we said, how can our son-in-law in Dongpu not know how to drink, after you get married, Jiaqi, you must improve his drinking capacity." Uncle Sun said with a straight smile: "He finally gave me the key and begged me repeatedly, asking me to help clean the house on weekdays, and I will return the key to you when you come back. He also pays for our cleaning Fei, I said that we have lived upstairs and downstairs for so many years, but how can we ask for his money just to clean up for you? When you get married and come back to hold a banquet, we can just drink two more glasses of wedding wine. " Aunt Sun said: "Jiaqi, if you meet a good person, you will be happy for the rest of your life." She has been shedding tears, as if all the tears in this life will be shed at this moment. Inside the envelope containing the house keys was Ruan Zhengdong's handwriting, which was so fluent, he only wrote one sentence: "Jiaqi, I finally waited until you came home." He has been waiting, but never told her that he did such a thing for her. A month ago, when he left Beijing, he came here and bought the house for her, and he actually found her home for her. He never told her that he did this for her. He never told her what he did for her. At any time, in any place, he never told her what he did for her. Whether it's helping her solve troubles at work, or helping her find the key that time, she will never know how much time and effort he spent behind him, taking care of everything for her, everything for her A search. He said: "Because I am wholeheartedly for her, I have exhausted all my strength." He has always done it, and he has exhausted all his strength to love her, no matter how she treats him. He has been waiting for her. Waiting for her to fall in love with him. He was the first to notice when she was sick, he always helped when she was in trouble, and he knew every time she cried. Because he loves her with all his heart, that way, no matter what she is thinking, he can know.No matter what happened to her, he would know. She always thought that she was moved, but now, she can no longer feel moved. She made him wait for so long, until now, until today, she is wholehearted. When she was young, she fell in love with someone, thinking that the love between two people would last forever. After so many things happened, she always thought that she would no longer have the strength to fall in love with another person. When she turned around, he was always there, waiting for her. She spent so much time, little by little, gradually forgetting, gradually growing up, struggling and hesitating all the way to the present, and she even wavered before the final choice.She didn't know what it was like to really love someone until today. Until today, she felt that she had the courage to start again. Forget all the past, put an end to all the past. Until today, he waited for her. Until today, she waited for him. She wants to go back, if there is time, if it is still possible, she wants to start again, wholeheartedly.