Chapter 10 Books from Two Places-2

Du Xiaobin continued for him: "People are so strange. In the past, my only purpose in life was to leave Zongyang Town. The farther the better, the better. But now, I am in Tibet, and I can't be far away. I miss it the most. Zongyang is the best place, and in the future, I will write the story of Zongyang and Chen Zhizi.” —— “I’m too long-winded, I’ve told you so much.” "It's finished, show it to me." Li Ran said softly. It's not that he will definitely read it, but he will definitely say so. From the dining room of the guest house to the main hall in the front yard is a narrow corridor, where two figures can be vaguely seen walking and overlapping each other. "Li Ran, you don't hate me, do you?"

"Xiao Bin, why do I hate you?" Du Xiaobin stayed in Pulan for four days, and she had no sexual relationship with Li Ran during these four days.Li Ran came to Pulan with the interview team of their newspaper office. There are many people with mixed opinions, and the objective environment does not allow them to have any deviant behavior. When Li Ran went out to film, Du Xiaobin also went with him.As long as she has a little spare time, Li Ran will teach her how to use the camera, how to adjust the focus and how to change the lens.Li Ran introduced her to his colleagues in this way: she is his apprentice who learned photography from him, a female apprentice.Li Ran's attitude towards her?Kind, serious and unsmiling is the attitude of a master to his apprentice.Except for the first night when she came, he had a slightly affectionate move towards her - he hugged her twice.At other times, Li Ran pretended to be solid, as if nothing had happened between them.Only once did he lose his composure.In a small shop on the street, he bought cigarettes, and she asked for a pack of Huamei next to him.He opened the wallet to take the money, and the eyes of the two people saw a small photo of Zhou Meng on the side of the wallet at the same time.Li Ran's hands were frozen there. He was wearing a wide-brimmed top hat that Tibetans often wear, and his face looked devastated.

He was unhappy for the rest of the day. After they got married, Du Xiaobin was not afraid of anything, but he was most afraid of his gloomy appearance, which made people lose their minds.Later, after the divorce, Li Ran went to Beijing, and she and Mimi stayed in Kunming.Li Ran may not see Mimi once in a year or two, as if he forgot that he has a daughter. Mimi's birthday, don't talk about birthday presents, and there will be no phone calls. forget?Will he not remember Mimi's birthday?Before the divorce, Li Ran loved Mimi the most. Mimi was always closer to her father than to her mother.Having been a couple for several years, what else does Xiao Bin not know?She knew that he was afraid of seeing his daughter or even hearing her voice.She knew that what he missed most in his heart were two people, and he just couldn't stay with these two people.

He therefore chose a life of self-imposed exile, the life that suited him best. Every choice is made by Li Ran himself, but she doesn't believe that he can really forget. Even if he forgets her, she can't forget, she saw them, he and Zhou Meng, riding a bicycle down the long gentle slope, Zhou Meng sat in his arms like a flower, His lips were pressed against her jet-black hair, maybe he didn't move, but it gave the feeling of rubbing lightly.She was jealous and regretted seeing them even more. Like an overexposed photo, this scene becomes more and more dazzling and dazzling in memory. Du Xiaobin is only willing to admit that it is the sunlight behind them that is dazzling, not their young and unguarded love.

When Du Xiaobin left Pulan, she felt lost. At first she longed to conquer Li Ran's body, and then she longed to conquer his heart.Now it seems that whether it is his body or his mind, a quick solution will not work. This will be a protracted battle.Du Xiaobin didn't know that when she left, Li Ran's mood was also complicated. The four days of being together day and night made him get used to her being by his side to a certain extent.Li Ran didn't want to think so, but he knew in his heart that it would not be Mengmeng but Xiaobin who was on the way.Li Ran is not nervous with Du Xiaobin now, anyway, no matter how much he guards against her, she still makes him hard to guard against.For example, this time, she chased after Pu Lan.

But Li Ran still didn't think about the choice. How could it be possible with Du Xiaobin?It's not because of her disgraceful past, whether she is suitable for a person or comfortable with someone is determined by the details of life, not the major policies of ideological quality.For example, he doesn't like Du Xiaobin's red nails, her cheap jewelry, and a little more, putting on makeup in front of men.Meng Meng, even wearing a white T-shirt and ripped jeans looks refreshing and good-looking. What makes Du Xiaobin so attractive is her dexterity, cleverness, dexterity, and quick learning.

Mengmeng is not smart, and because he loves her, he especially thinks she is stupid.If you love someone, you will feel that she is stupid, and you need to take special care of everything. Li Ran also saw that Mengmeng painted her nails once, it should be on her hands, but she painted it all over the table, and it took a long time to paint one little thumbnail, and then washed it off immediately, complaining that it was troublesome and unsightly .Mengmeng never wears earrings, she doesn’t pierce her ears, and when she was shopping, she saw a sign saying “Painless Ear Piercing” and she also discussed with him whether to wear one, but once she paid the money, she still ran away, fearing the pain .Du Xiaobin likes to wear jewelry, rings, necklaces, and earrings are all the same. The only thing that can be seen is a pair of pearl earrings, black pearls, which are very suitable for her.Li Ran didn't know that the earrings were given to Du Xiaobin by Wang Bo.

Why did Du Xiaobin wait half a year in Lhasa before launching a general attack on Li Ran?Not only for her to have a preparation period, but also for her to whet Li Ran's appetite, this half year was also the half year when Wang Bo chased her the most.In half a year, Wang Bo traveled from Beijing to Lhasa twice, taking a train for a week each time.Do I need to go any further?It is not enough to rely on spiritual love alone to overcome such a arduous journey to Lhasa.Wang Bo also vaguely heard that Du Xiaobin had a relatively serious life style problem, but he didn't know the nature of it.However, Wang Bo is really not afraid of this. Those who achieve great things do not care about small details. What's wrong with the style of work?The poet has his own unique insights: behind a successful man there is a good woman who silently supports him, yes, but behind a great man? ——It’s a legendary villain. Napoleon had Josephine, and Pushkin had a wife who was not devoted! The newspaper’s interview team was divided into two groups in Purang. One went back to Lhasa and the other went west. Li Ran chose to go west.He has this experience, if you want to think about the problem clearly, you need to keep going, and you will think clearly when you walk.

The higher the latitude to the west, the thinner the oxygen, and their destination was a plateau outpost. Li Ran is not only thinking about emotional issues, the biggest problem he faces is his career direction - should he continue to be a photojournalist for a newspaper, or a professional photographer?The atmosphere in the photography industry is different from the previous two years. There are more and more professional photographers, and works that emphasize skills and highlight individuality gradually lead the trend.Just a month ago, a publishing house in Yunnan contacted Li Ran and asked him to be the main photographer for a new edition of Yunnan scenery photography album. The album is an act of the government, and it is going to be released overseas to expand Yunnan's overseas tourism market.This is a transitional opportunity for Li Ran, and the remuneration is quite good, but this picture book takes a year to shoot, what should Mengmeng do?Let her continue to wait for him in Jiangcheng?Even if she wanted to, he wouldn't.Due to the bad weather and the equally bad road conditions, Li Ran and his party returned to Lhasa more than a week later than scheduled.Back at the newspaper office, Li Ran's first step was to hand in the film, and then go to the office to get the letter.It has been more than a month, and the table has been piled up with letters.Colleague Xiao Liang came over and saw him and said, "Hey, Li Ran, you are back. A girl kept calling you two days ago and kept asking where you were?" Li Ran naturally thought it was Du Xiaobin.

Xiao Liang added: "Hey, it's not the usual one." Li Ran glanced at the calendar on the table and asked Xiaoliang, "What date is it today?" "Did you get confused, Double Twelve, December 12th." Now, Li Ran knew who was looking for him, Meng Meng.Unfortunately, he forgot her birthday, which was December 9th.Li Ran picked up the phone and hung up long distance. How long has he not called Mengmeng?since his birthday. The first time she connected, she hung up the phone when she heard his voice; the second time, she hung up again before he spoke; , he could hear her slight panting.

"Mengmeng, talk to me and scold me." Li Ran lowered his voice, "Just let me hear your voice." She was still silent, as silent as a white snow-capped mountain in the distance.Li Ran thought for a while, then changed the subject cleverly. "Didn't go to class today?" "No." He could imagine the quiet and beautiful expression on her face at the moment. "Angry? I took a car for a week before returning to Lhasa, and there was a car accident on the way." "Don't talk about it, okay?" Zhou Meng's tone was tired. "Mengmeng, I'll call you again tonight." Li Ran knew how to explain, but it was impossible for her to calm down immediately. Over there, the director of the office had stared at him several times. In principle, it is not allowed to use the long-distance line of the newspaper office to make private calls. of. "I have something to go out tonight." "What time will you be back?" She stopped talking again. "Mengmeng, don't be angry with me, don't be angry with me after being so far away." She still didn't say anything when he begged her so much, and hung up the phone again. Zhou Meng really has something to do tonight. Tonight, the biennial drama performance of the Chinese Department will be held in the school auditorium.The repertoire staged by their class 90 is that the script was conceived and written by Dai Yan and Zhou Meng together.The two female screenwriters pushed the time back to 1999, the end of the century, and five years after graduating from college, several girls once again had an unforgettable night in the dormitory where they lived in their alma mater. This is a group play, and the stipulated time for the drama performance is only fifteen minutes.In order to save time and focus on the key points, the two female screenwriters cut off three of the eight girls in a dormitory. The reasons why these three cannot be reunited are death, serious illness and being far away in Canada. The dramatic conflict is mainly focused on the lead actress Zhao Xue (played by Dai Yan), who is going through a divorce. When she returns to her alma mater, her college sweetheart comes again.Just like one night five years ago, he played the harmonica song "Edelweiss" under her window again.Where do we go from here?The old classmates gave advice to Zhao Xue one after another. At the end of the script, five 27-year-old women reached a consensus: "Love is beautiful, but love is not the most important." Zhao Xue is determined to devote herself to teacher education in impoverished mountainous areas, whether it is her former lover or her current Both husbands refused to go with them.The closing song is "Red Detachment of Women". All, all of this, Zhou Meng wanted to talk to Li Ran, but not only did he not call her for more than a month, he even forgot her birthday, what else could she say to him? Is there really nothing to say? That night, watching the performance in the school auditorium, Zhou Meng was always thinking about Li Ran's phone call.It was the second-to-last performance, and it was hard to wait until the end of the performance. Before the final ranking was announced, Zhou Meng hurried home. When going up the last flight of stairs, Zhou Meng heard the phone ringing from the door of her house, took out the key, and the key fell on the dark stairs again.On the other side of the door, the telephone was ringing menacingly. At the same time, Li Ran held the microphone and waited anxiously. It was already eleven o'clock, why hasn't Mengmeng come back yet?What could be the big deal for her?It's not a bragging, all along, he, his phone is the biggest thing to her.Aunt Fang is not at home, so maybe Mengmeng went out with her mother.Thinking of this, Li Ran felt a little more at ease. This is an empty hall, and a soft female voice came from above the hall: "Finally called, flight 138 to Shanghai departs at 11:10, comrades please board the plane as soon as possible." Li Ran put down the phone. Zhou Meng hurriedly picked up the phone, only to hear a "click", and tears flowed down his face.The next day, it was cloudy, but after four o'clock in the afternoon, the surroundings became dark. A melodious violin concerto filled the whole space, which is Schumann's "Fantasia" which Zhou Meng listened to frequently recently.She has read the background introduction, "Fantasy" is selected from the piano suite "Scenes from Childhood".Schumann once said to his wife Clara: "I wrote this work in Vienna because I recalled your childhood." Zhou Meng was also writing, on a large white letter paper, she only wrote four words: "Li Ran, I think", and couldn't continue.She looked at the phone, it's time for Li Ran to call, isn't he angry with her?Thinking about it, she became angry again, and "slapped" Li Ran's photo frame upside down on the table.As soon as she stretched out her hand, she saw the beautiful ring on her hand, she was familiar with it, it was like a part of her body, and she usually didn't pay attention to it.After the song "Fantasia" was played, Zhou Meng went to the stereo in the living room to rewind the tape, and she wanted to listen to it again. With the sound of knocking on the door, Zhou Meng turned around, only to realize that the room was a little too dark, so she turned on the light in the living room and opened the door.Even if there is a ghost standing at the door, Zhou Meng will not be so surprised. The one standing in front of her was not a ghost, but Li Ran. He supported the door frame with one arm, his black windbreaker was opened, his head was slightly tilted, and he looked a little tired.He didn't have a piece of luggage on him, just like a year ago, when he came to see her from the opposite newspaper office, he walked in front of her as soon as he raised his leg. Seeing her, he knew how much he missed her. Silly child, why is she staring at him so blankly?It's like you don't know him. The hair was already so long, and the slender waist, he grasped it as soon as he stretched out his hand. Li Ran took a step forward, and while kissing her, pushed the door behind him with his body. He hugged her so tightly, and his lips refused to let go of her. She couldn't breathe, and she held his shoulder with her hand. "Miss me? Mengmeng, miss me? Miss me?" He reluctantly let her go, and asked her again and again. "Missing you," her dark eyes sparkled with dreamlike happiness, "I miss you like crazy!" "Me too, thinking crazy." He dragged her and slowly fell to the floor. Outside the window, the night is approaching slowly. The two fought desperately to speak. "Where's your mother? When will she come back?" "Are you hungry? Thirsty?" "I was the one who asked first." "not me." "Okay, I'm neither hungry nor thirsty, it's up to you to answer me." "My mother went to Beijing to see a doctor." That is to say, there are only Mengmeng and him tonight. Li Ran showed a particularly hesitant and gentle look on his face. His hand came to her chest unconsciously, and asked in a low voice: "What's your birthday? How did you spend it?" ?” "I lived with someone else." She was teasing him, but he took it seriously. "What about last night? Did you go out with someone else too? I called you at eleven o'clock and you haven't come back yet." He moved his hand to her waist, tightened it, and his face froze. It's like this, people who have a heart disease themselves can't trust others. "I'm back, I just picked up the phone, and you hung up. You're still in a hurry with me," Zhou Meng said, annoyed, "I'm not even in a hurry with you. Where were you when I celebrated my birthday? I Where were you when you were sick? You didn't care about me at all." Li Ran let go of his hand and sat back on the sofa. Even when she was angry, Mengmeng was more charming than he remembered, maybe because of her long hair, she was more feminine.He was wrong, not long hair, but waiting too long. The shadow of the light in the living room slanted on him, and the tiredness on his face became more intense.Zhou Meng regretted it, if you love, don't complain. "What's wrong?" She touched his hand with her knee. "Mengmeng," he pulled her into his lap, "do you really think I don't care about you?" "I didn't care about me before, think about how long you haven't called me-tell you, Last night was our Chinese Department's drama performance, and Dai Yan and I co-wrote the drama produced by our class." He let her go a little bit, stroked her hair, and asked happily and annoyedly, "Why didn't you tell me earlier on the phone?" "I'm mad at you." "Are you still angry?" He kissed her. "I'm angry. I couldn't wait for the final announcement of the ranking, so I rushed home to answer your call, but you hung up." "Mengmeng, to be fair, I have to catch a plane. Are you angry?" In fact, seeing him, she had calmed down. "Let me show you the script I wrote with Dai Yan. I wrote all the love scenes." "See you tomorrow." He just wanted to make love to her now. "No, watch it now, you read the script, and I cook." "Come on, what will you cook, let me do it." "I will. It's good to warm it up anyway. Auntie came over at noon." She pressed him on the sofa, took out a dozen manuscript papers from under the coffee table and stuffed it to him, "It's very childish, don't laugh at us." Just as she was about to turn around, he grabbed her, took out a bracelet from the windbreaker pocket, and put it on her hand. The bracelet looked old, silver, a little dirty, but gorgeously crafted, decorated with several tinkling green stones. "Like an antique." "The Tibetan who sold it to me said it was from the former palace of the Nepalese king." "real?" "It's fake." Li Ran smiled, "The gemstone is real. I have someone appraise it, but the grade is not high." Zhou Meng froze for a moment, his smile, so frivolous, made people sad to see. "Unhappy again? Don't like it?" "like." If you don't see him, you can't eat; if you see him, you don't need to eat. She didn't eat, and Li Ran got used to it. People with sensitive constitutions can't stand strong stimulation.Mengmeng said that seeing him would make him thirsty, but not hungry.See why he is thirsty?Generally speaking, nervousness makes people thirsty. What's more, it's frightening to drink water, just like now, Li Ran just watched her drink tea cup after cup, and drank up the water in a thermos bottle very quickly. Can hold so much water. "Here, what's going on?" Her cold, soft fingers touched the scabbed wound on his forehead that was covered by the hair. "The car overturned and was scratched." Li Ran didn't care, but tears were already in her eyes. "It's okay, it's already recovered." Li Ran quickly changed the subject, for fear that she would cry, "By the way, what's wrong with your mother? Is it serious?" "Cervical fibroids need surgery." "cancer?" "It's a benign tumor. A fibroid is a benign tumor. It's covered with a layer of fibers so it won't spread. If it spreads, it's called a malignant tumor, commonly known as cancer." Zhou Meng said clearly and logically. Li Ran felt apologetic, but he didn't know anything about it. "Why didn't you tell me?" "Didn't I tell you that my mother is not in good health? The biopsy was done last month, and I couldn't find you." Last month, he was in Pulan, and Du Xiaobin followed closely. "I'll call your mother tomorrow. When will she have the operation?" "It hasn't been decided yet, it might be next week." Zhou Meng warned again, "Don't tell me you're in Jiangcheng if you call my mother." Li Ran looked at her and smiled: "Can I be that stupid?" Zhou Meng said in his heart: Don't laugh, don't laugh, anything is fine, just don't laugh. She cried out in pain, and when she cried out, Li Ran was also very nervous. Li Ran's only virginity experience was with Liu Yi. Liu Yi didn't complain of pain, but Liu Yi cried, not because of the pain, but because there was no bleeding.At that time, Li Ran expressed his trust and understanding from the beginning to the end. Not every virgin will bleed, and there are various reasons.In fact, Li Ran was far from forcing a breakthrough, he just touched it, and Mengmeng couldn't stand it anymore.She is usually very afraid of pain.Li Ran remembered taking her to the hospital for a physical examination, and when the nurse wanted to draw a little blood from her fingertips, she would be terrified, afraid to look at it, and worried, it was so much fun.Being so afraid of pain is called low pain threshold in medicine. "Why does it hurt so much?" "The more nervous you are, the more painful it will be." "how do you know?" "I read it in books." When I was in high school, the male students in Li Ran's class used to collect all the books on women's physical health and communicate with each other, basically reading them as pornographic novels. She whispered in his ear: "Try again." Li Ran was thinking about it, it was impossible not to think about it, already in this state, the arrow had to be fired, and he could feel that she was already wet.His body is no longer so elegant and handsome, it is a bit wider and stronger, and it takes a lot of effort for her arms to close on his back, which must be because of eating beef and mutton in Tibet. Through the pajamas, she can still clearly feel his heat, his hands, and then his tongue, open, more and more open, softly open. Gradually, she became less nervous and he just rubbed her lightly. Zhou Meng thought, if the sexual intercourse is so limited, it would be quite enjoyable. So far?Li Ran couldn't control it anymore, so he gave it a push. She pushed him straight in pain, this kind of pain was never felt before, it was tense, strained and torn. Li Ran hadn't entered yet, but seeing her in pain, he didn't dare to move anymore. I don't know if it's the heat or the pain. Her forehead is covered with sweat. It's been such a long time. It's impossible for Li Ran to be satisfied with hugging, let alone tonight is so rare. "Aren't you happy?" "No." "But Dai Yan said that if you don't do it after you have sex, the man will be unhappy." It makes sense, but the specific problem needs to be analyzed in detail. Even for other girls, he will take her feelings into consideration for the first time, let alone Mengmeng. "Does it hurt, how can I be willing..." He said, hugging her tightly, and asked in a low voice, "Tell me, how does it hurt?" She told him slowly... In the morning, she woke up in his arms. Looking at his sleeping face, Zhou Meng only had a fresh and peaceful sense of happiness, which she never felt again.It's not that I don't regret it, just bear it last night, the pain will not hurt to death. Thinking of this, Zhou Meng became a little interested in his body. Li Ran wandered around in several rooms but couldn't find Misty's shadow. Where did she go so early in the morning?Last night, I was thinking about going to bed, but I didn't notice. His frame on her desk was turned upside down, and a letter just started: "Li Ran, I think..." He knew that she was thinking about him all the time. , They shouldn't be separated anymore, when he wakes up every morning, who is the person he most wants to see?Is there even a question?misty. As soon as Zhou Meng took out the key, Li Ran opened the door. "where have you been?" "Buy some breakfast, you haven't eaten it. Chenghuang Temple has opened a new restaurant in Suzhou. It makes ham siomai, crab roe soup buns, and dried vegetable pancakes. It's amazing. You open the thermos and try it. It's still hot. I took a taxi back. I ran into red lights all the way, which made me anxious." He hugged her restrainedly. "Next time, don't run out alone without making a sound, you know?" "Who made you old? If you don't go, you won't be able to buy it." "Kiss me and I'll wake up." "How do you know I didn't kiss you? But you're not Sleeping Beauty," she glanced at him, "You're a sleeper." "I just slept like that? No reaction at all?" Li Ran smiled. "Not at all," she slapped his hand, "you're messing around." His smile deepened. Now, for some reason, she liked his smile again. It was a clear winter day, the light was just right, Li Ran chased down from the balcony to the living room to take pictures, and took a roll in a while, Zhou Meng was scared by his pictures, so he dodged and ran around. He grabbed her and she panted on top of him. Zhou Meng pointed his mouth at the upside-down photo frame on the desk: "Here, I spent my birthday with this person." He understood: "A person? What about Dai Yan and the others?" "Without you," she touched his face, "no amount of people is interesting." Her beautiful and trance-like appearance made him want to kiss her irresistibly. "Mengmeng, I can spend this Spring Festival with you." "Really? Really?" She jumped up happily. "They gave you a long vacation?" "No, they didn't give me a day off. I'm going to resign." Li Ran told the whole story about going to Yunnan.Li Ran was very confident that Mengmeng would go to Yunnan with him.Although she is in poor health and hates traveling, she loves him, doesn't she?Love almost to death.Moreover, Yunnan is no better than Tibet. Yunnan has beautiful mountains and clear waters, and the four seasons are like spring. "I will come back to pick you up in July. We will travel and get married in Yunnan. You will like Yunnan. We can stay in Yunnan for at least half a year. Mengmeng, talk!" She said, and wrote four words on the card with one finger Draw and draw on the stationery. "Li Ran, yesterday, when I was writing this letter, I couldn't write any more. I thought..." "Thinking of what? Missing me, right?" He pulled her into his arms. "No, I think we should break up." "What did you say? Say it again?" Li Ran frowned. "I said, we should break up." A slap on her face was not too hard, and half of her face flushed red. Li Ran's face also flushed red: "You are never allowed to say these two words again!" Li Ran doesn't remember hitting someone, let alone a woman, but he was really angry when he hit her. How could she mention these two words when he rushed back to see her desperately? How could she You can mention it again and again, how can she be so calm? Zhou Meng didn't feel wronged, it wasn't wronged, it was weird sweetness, nothing she felt more deeply than this moment, he was reluctant to part with her, she didn't know it all the time, and he would also be afraid of losing her. "You're still wearing my ring." He shook her arm, his voice suddenly lost strength, "Mengmeng, don't you love me anymore?" "I love you, but even if you love someone, you love me Will get tired too." She looked at him tenderly, like a grown woman, older than him. "Mengmeng, it's not because I'm tired, it's because I'm not around you all the time, you feel strange, it's good that we always stay together in the future, you go wherever I go." Zhou Meng laughed, why did he speak so innocently? "I'll just follow you all day long? Don't I have to work?" "You can be my photography assistant, and you can also write about the customs and customs of various places. Don't you write the script well?" Li Ran thought to himself, if Du Xiaobin is also a Chinese major, he can be a writer, but Mengmeng can't ? Hey, Zhou Meng just can't. "I wrote the script because Dai Yan wanted to be the heroine, and she forced me to write with her. I knew I didn't have that talent, nor did I have that perseverance, let alone endure that hardship." "If I don't write, I won't write. I earn enough money for the two of us to spend. Mengmeng, you will like that kind of life. You eat in different small shops and see different people every day. There are more than a dozen ethnic minorities in Yunnan. You love Eat fruit, fruit from Yunnan..." "Li Ran, you will regret it, you will definitely regret it. Have you ever thought about it? I can't take a long-distance bus at all. You can't imagine that what I tried, not only vomited, but I also suffered from cold hands and feet and a heart attack." "Instead of taking a long-distance bus, we'll take the train." "There are trains everywhere, even if I take the train, I will throw up. Li Ran, why don't you understand? I don't like to go out, I like to stay at home. In summer, I don't go out of the house for a whole month. door." "Mengmeng, for me, you are not willing to make a little change?" "Why don't you make a little change for me? First Tibet, then Yunnan, and then? Where? Have you thought about me?" "Mengmeng, of course I have thought about you, all my plans have never left you, We will settle down, Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou, as long as you like, don’t you like Shanghai? I will buy you a house in Shanghai, just give me two years.” “Whether it is two or four years, I will Waiting for you, as before." She took his hand, and he flung it away impatiently. "Mengmeng, I don't want you to wait for me, I want you to be with me. If we get married, we must be together," he paused, "Husband and wife cannot live apart." "My parents are separated, and my mother also said that the separation of husband and wife is good for career development." Li Ran didn't know how to explain to her. "Mengmeng, how can we be separated at such a young age?" She understood what he meant. "Do you not trust me, or do you not trust yourself?" He looked at her and said very clearly: "I can't trust myself." The sunlight splashed profligately through the large floor-to-ceiling windows, and Zhou Meng only felt chills intermittently. "Hit me again." "misty." "Li Ran, did you hit me because you hated me?" This morning it was he who did the braid for her. She did it beautifully, but the right half of her face was slightly red and swollen, which made her heartache.His hand slapped lightly. Followed by his slightly chapped lips. The two of them had never hugged so tightly, nor had they been so sad. She said she wanted to sleep for a while, and she always asked for it when she was in a bad mood. As usual, this sleep was very long. Li Ran came back from outside, but she still hadn't woken up. She fell asleep like a kitten.The braids are open, the hair is soft and black, and the skin is snow-white. I am used to seeing the dark brown skin of the plateau people, and it is visually uncomfortable.Li Ran himself was getting darker, and he was not used to wearing light-colored clothes, and always felt that the contrast was too big, so Meng Meng complained that he was as dark as coal balls.It wasn't that dark either, but he liked hearing her complain. He kissed her lightly on the lips, trying to see if she would wake up, and she woke up immediately. "Wake up, Sleeping Beauty." Zhou Meng opened his eyes and saw a large bouquet of yellow carnations. Although he was sad in his heart, he looked at the flowers and smiled. "Today, I want red roses." The implication may not even be realized by herself - if it is the last, she wants the best.Did Li Ran understand? "I'm going to buy it now," he said. "No, tomorrow." Regarding the unfinished topic, let's save it until tomorrow. Today, neither of us has the courage to continue.Zhou Meng got dressed and came out, the living room was completely dark except for the cake on the coffee table lit with a circle of small candles.Li Ran sat sideways, with a cigarette in one hand, and the other arm flat on the back of the sofa. The candlelight was dim, she couldn't see his expression clearly, and her heart was already aching. He looks very lonely like that, a kind of loneliness that belongs to a man. Later, she tried to forget him, but she never hated him, and she couldn't hate him.Memories are like a long shot in an old movie, the shot gets longer and longer, and his lonely figure gets farther and farther away. He turned around, saw her, and stood up. Li Ran not only bought flowers and a birthday cake, but also imported ultra-thin condoms. The condom showed Li Ran's determination. When you can't make sense with a girl, you need to turn her into a woman first. The prologue unfolded very well, and Li Ran didn't doubt at all on the secret bed that Mengmeng loved him. "I love you", the two said to each other, unable to control it, the naked body was too intimate and too exciting. Li Ran decisively gave up his old habit of having sex with his clothes on. "No, it's like plastic." She was so sensitive that he knew something was wrong when he touched her. "Honey, you're going to be pregnant." "No, I can't take it." Who says women are all the same?Women are very different from women. Li Ran gave up the condom, and she calmly let him penetrate it a little bit, but he couldn't.She must also be in pain. Although she didn't cry out, her panting was urgent and tight. As soon as he retreated, she was relieved, and the inside of her lip was bitten. He kissed her lips, tasted the sweet smell of blood. "Is there something wrong with me?" She really started to worry. "No, it may be that the film is thicker." Oh, there is such a saying? "Try again." She suggested bravely. He couldn't help kissing her. "Baby, come with me." She didn't answer, just kissed back sweetly. They tried again, still not working. Li Ran felt that he was not as concentrated as yesterday, and he felt weak before the battle. Mengmeng didn't complain of pain, but she didn't make him more nervous, because he didn't know how much pain she had. Later, Zhou Meng and Pan Duo also had troubles. What Pan Duo and Li Ran have in common is a wealth of knowledge, especially in terms of women's physical hygiene. They have both theory and practice, and they are all in one set.The difference is that Pan Duo is obviously impatient and anxiously scratching his head.Three nights in a row failed, and on the fourth night, Pan Duo worked hard for most of the night, and finally succeeded in a surprise attack in Zhou Meng's deep sleep. The aftereffect was that Zhou Meng would wake up suddenly in the middle of the night during the following week. Outside the long window, there are two cold stars, and the moon is like a hook. On Monday morning, Zhou Meng stayed in bed for a long time before going to school.In fact, she didn't want to go to class, but Li Ran insisted on letting her go.The two are always so tired of being together, she likes it, but Li Ran can't afford it. The first night is December 13th, and the second night is December 14th. Zhou Meng is willing to remember December 14th.Although the substantive problem has not yet been resolved, it makes a difference whether there is a layer of clothing or not, and Li Ran treats her differently. Of course he treated her well before, but it was not half as good as now.How to say it?He was kind to her before, but now he is close to her. 亲，就是在以前会觉得肉麻的一种好。昨天，他给她梳辫子她还有点儿不自在呢，今天，他甚至给她穿衣服，还有许多古怪亲热的称呼。 "Why are you so nice to me?" “我不对你好对谁好？你是我老婆。” 老婆，这个俗气的字眼原来可以这样动人啊。 最稀罕的事儿还是，在他面前她感到饿了，不是渴，而是饿。 她从来没吃得这么多过，连奶油蛋糕这种甜食都一气儿吃了两块。李然一开始看着她笑，后来直担心她撑着了。 今晚，如果不出意外的话。 当你这么想的时候，十有八九会出意外。 上课还是晚了，李然送她到学校的时候，都十点多了，第二节课都下了。从师大出来，李然在十字路口的花店停了一下，花店是新开的，去年这里还是个杂货铺。用花店的长途李然给报社的小梁打了电话，来的时候室主任根本不准李然的假，快到新年了，事多任务紧，人手本来就不够。虽然准备辞职，可是这么给人撂挑子李然觉着不地道，而且，如果蒙蒙坚持留在江城，他能不能辞职还要再考虑。冷静下来想一想，要求蒙蒙跟着他过那种动荡流离的生活也是不公平的，即使只是两年。她要的只是一份安宁，甚至只是安宁地等他。 连这个他都不能给她吗？ 遗憾的是，似乎不能。 打给小梁的电话却是杜小彬接的，杜小彬说：“李然，我正找你呢。” “有事儿吗？”李然口气冷淡。 “也没什么事儿，”她幽然地说，“我刚去医院做了检查。” 李越从花店门口匆匆走过，她戴一顶俏皮的贝雷帽，长长的黑风衣露出一块杏黄的里子。她没有看见靠在花店门口的李然，李然也没有看见她。 一段长长的烟灰落在黑色的耐克鞋上，就在这一瞬间，什么都垮掉了，同时，一切都决定了。“我明天下午到拉萨。” 简单地说完这句话，放下电话交了钱，李然才走了几步又被人叫住了。 “先生，您的花。” 红玫瑰，只开一个上午的红玫瑰。 他抓得太紧了，玫瑰带刺的枝条扎破了他的手，并不觉得疼，他甚至笑了一下。最可笑的是，他一直假装什么都没有发生过。 蒙蒙在教室门口看到他，小鸟一样向他飞了过来。 “好消息，得了一等奖；坏消息，是一等奖的第二名。” 李然本来确信自己已经冷静下来了，可是，看到她，看着她一无所知的微笑，就像剜他的心那么难受。第一次，看着她，看着她的微笑，他不觉得可爱而是可怜。 “你怎么了？干吗直直地瞪着我!” 周围的同学都在看他们，周蒙非常不好意思。 他拉着她从侧面的楼梯下去，在楼道大门的背后他掩饰地吻她。 “想你。” 周蒙心里甜甜的，还非要她来上课，又这么想她。 他想她，可是比想念，还多得多。 她还在他的怀抱里，可是李然清楚地知道，他失去她了。 他失去她了，不是从今天才开始，只是今天才知道。 只是今天，他才知道是这么痛。 而真正的痛，还不是此刻能领会到的，真正的痛是跟着日子一起走下去的，只有在岁月的不断流失中你才能明白什么叫做失去的空虚。 周蒙最不愿意回忆的是那个下午。 本来说好找小宗李越去玩儿的，可是李然说他忘了打电话，过了一刻他又对她说：“蒙蒙，我谁也不想见， 我只想看着你。” 她也是啊。 昨天照的照片洗好了，他一张张地翻看，可这一次他没有留底片。 中饭他们在外面吃的西餐，轮到李然只喝水，他说，因为秀色可餐，他已经饱了。她看得出来，他有心事儿，她以为还是为了昨天的事。 电影院里在放旧片子，《宾虚传》，太长了，他们没有看完就出来了。 然后，回到家。一进门，他就告诉她，他今晚回拉萨。 周蒙第一个反应是感动，那么，他不辞职了，为了她的缘故。然后，她是不舍，既舍不得他走，又舍不得他为她放弃了另一样式的他更向往的生活。 她又觉得他未免太狠心了，今天早上他没有她还像活不下去似的，可是到了晚上，说走就要走。“明天吧， 明天再走。” 李然明白蒙蒙指的是什么，昨是而今非，他庆幸的是他们还没有。 tomorrow?他不能，跟她在一起的每一分钟都变成对他的一种折磨。 现在是五点十分。 明天早上九点多有从上海到拉萨的飞机，今晚，去上海的火车最后一班是八点五分。李然的解释听起来再合理不过，报社要他马上回去。 虽说有几分被情欲冲昏了头脑，周蒙还是属于讲道理的女孩子，她从来不缺乏理性。对着他，她慨然地点了点头。 很长一段时间里，李然只要想到她就是这个样子：她对着他，沉静慨然地一点头。是对着他的，也是对着命运，虽然不知道可有几分猜到，那也没什么可说的。这是周蒙自己都没有意识到的勇气。 她只是点了点头。 “到了拉萨给我打电话。” "Ok." 连这个电话他都没有打。 暮色四合，落日的碎金淹没在无边的黑暗中。 她在黑暗中无可救药地吻他，他也无可救药地吻着她。 “别走了别走了……”心里这么一遍遍地求着他，却说不出来。 说了，他就不走了吗？ 也许，他就不走了。 她要送他去火车站，他坚持不要她送，理由是不放心她一个人回来。 “再说，”横下心来，撒谎也不难，“春节我不是还要回来吗？”他这样对她说。“春节我可以跟你回西安，如果我妈妈的手术没问题的话。” “手术会有问题吗？” “不会吧，进的是最好的医院，找的也是最好的医生。” “蒙蒙。”他欲言又止。 周蒙理解，人在取舍中自然会矛盾的。 是取舍，可不是周蒙以为的那个结果。 李然看看表，时间怎么过得这么慢？还不到七点。 “火车是几点的？” “八点的。” “那你该走了吧，还没买车票呢。” 像一切不惯出门的人，周蒙总担心赶不上时间。 李然是出惯门的，八点的火车，七点半走都绰绰有余了。可是今天，他要早走一点儿。“我送你到所门口， 看你上了出租车我就回来。” 李然不能再拒绝了。 汽笛长鸣，火车就快开了。 “李然李然——” 声音远远地传来，极不真实，李然先疑心自己是幻听，是因为他正想着她的缘故吧。他踱到窗口张望——真的，是她——蒙蒙!可是，他以为再也不会见到她了。 她还没有看到他，眼睛匆忙地在一个个窗口寻找着。 “蒙蒙!”李然把窗玻璃推了上去，她向他奔了过来。 火车已经缓缓开动。 “我——”她站定在他面前，说了一个字。 他的手轻抚着她的脸，实际上，流泪的不是她，而是他。 “我跟你去云南!”这句话她是冲他喊出来的。 她喊完了就爽朗地笑了。 他却再也止不住眼泪。 火车去得远了，周蒙才转过身。 原来男人也会流泪，周蒙想，李然一定是太感动了。