Chapter 42 postscript not postscript

One time when I was participating in a radio interview, the host asked me why I wanted to be a radio host at that time. I made up a random reason, and he asked me why I read music, and I made a second nonsense...and so on. Until I asked why I wrote a book and why I wrote a novel. I was rambling and wandering, thinking how weird it is, looking back, maybe every time I make an important (at least relatively important) plan for my life, there is no particularly commendable and decent reason. Therefore, Cao Xueqin also appeared in my mind, and I thought of his "truth hidden" and "false language village".

These are not particularly new questions. I have talked to different people many times on different occasions before, but I still think about it every time I answer, trying to whitewash it. It can be seen that there is still a discrepancy with the real situation. Later, on the way back from the interview, I revisited the scenes of every decision in my heart, trying to find the original reason deep in my mind, and suddenly discovered that a typical difference between women and men often lies in: When a man makes a decision or change for his career or life, there is always a premise, which is: "For 'what'"

And when a woman makes a certain decision or change for her career or life, there will probably be a premise: "For 'who'" I am a woman, and I often decide or change because of "people". With such an explanation, it seems that he can immediately outline a sentimental and ambiguous life for himself, instead of putting on a silver-like wax gun like the current posture and making a fuss about it. Fortunately, fortunately, everyone knows that "people" are not only exclusive to love. So, in fact, I have been insisting on writing and writing, and it is also because there will always be some people in life, his/her interesting and beautiful, and their intertwined fuel... Please allow me to use this to describe one or two.

Model Maggie Maggie is my best friend. When she was pregnant and left the company, I had just resigned from the same company, and I was confused, so I was idle. Our two families lived on the left and right sides of the North Korean embassy respectively, and it took less than 10 minutes to walk to each other's house, so it was very convenient to meet each other.There is a steamed stuffed bun shop in the middle of our two families, and the "Hangzhou Xiaolongbao" they sell is extremely delicious. At first, we often met to eat steamed stuffed buns. After a long time, we also met to eat something else. When we are not eating, our mouths are not idle. We talked a lot, and the result was that we got to know each other better.

I remember that one evening in midsummer, I was chatting with her again in her yard.That day—she was more than eight months pregnant—she actually wore a V-neck dress with horizontal stripes that was new in MaxMara's season, and her hair was combed perfectly, and she even used perfume. The "Ice Blue" that is being promoted in 2019. The point is, that day, like a lot of time since her pregnancy, she wasn't going anywhere, and didn't have to go anywhere. Mai Qi is such a person who cares about life very much. Even during pregnancy, when women are most likely to be lazy, she can always maintain her image and never relax her vigilance towards life.

Thinking of Lin Qingxia's husband's evaluation of his beautiful wife, "Even if she is at home by herself, she will never allow any flaws in her appearance." I also thought of someone who said: "There are no ugly women in the world, only lazy women." Mai Qi is such a big beauty who is naturally beautiful and self-improving. Of course, we do not encourage white-collar workers with high salaries and self-reliance like Maggie to spend all their hard-earned money on "outfits".However, her consumption concept is a typical Aquarius without calculation, and it is useless to persuade her.Later, I stopped persuading her, thinking to myself, if she spends her own money to please others, then why should she be persuaded.

That day we chatted and listened to the music from Ritan Park from far and near.At that time, it was the annual Beer Summer Music Festival, which was so lively that it made people feel relieved. "I want to eat sachima! I want the one with sesame seeds!" Maggie said suddenly, her eyes were slack when she said it, and it didn't match the bursts of British rock music.However, this request made her finally look like a normal pregnant woman. "The setting sun is infinitely good, but it's just near dusk." After the music gradually faded in the setting sun, Mai Qi suddenly read this sentence, probably because she didn't feel the emotion of "Sachima".

scare me! Because she is the person who disdains the so-called "poetic and picturesque" on weekdays. "Actually, the 'just' in this poem means 'is' and 'exactly'." At the critical moment, I did not forget to show off: "Li Yishan used to be straightforward, not particularly sad." In addition to "showing off", various intractable diseases related to Maggie's situation at that time, such as "depression during pregnancy" and "postpartum anxiety", appeared in my mind.I thought to myself, as long as she has a sign, I will press it for her quickly, even "sighing the sunset" will not work!

"I mean the same thing as your Li Yishan!" The pregnant woman glanced at me out of the corner of her eye, very disdainful, and returned to her original face. Her look - I didn't dare to tell her - was like Samantha Jones in Sex and the City . I am relieved. And that's how we became closer and closer friends in this seemingly meaningless conversation every day.A few months later, Mai Qi gave birth to a handsome son, and I registered my own company.Everyone gets what they want.After the "Hangzhou Xiaolongbao" was dismantled, I simply moved into the same community as Mai Qi and became real neighbors with her.

It was a particularly beautiful time in my life, leisurely and comfortable.We also often discuss cooking skills. The pasta cooked by Maggie’s husband is the most delicious western food I have eaten in Beijing, and every time they ask me to cook soup and stew, I will have a beautiful illusion, thinking that I am Really good at cooking. We talked about everything, talking too much like two chatterboxes who need psychotherapy. With the development of technology, we have added many new ways to talk. In addition to talking face to face, it also extends to use when not meeting Walkie-talkie, exchange text messages or msn, skpye or something.

Over time, Mai Qi has become the person who understands me best over the years, and after getting to know me, she can't help caring.Looking back, it was accurate to say that many times her character was like the "Santa Claus" in my life. For example, one afternoon, when I was basking in the sun and feeling very refreshed, I said nonsense: "I really want to raise another big dog, the kind that is very docile and unique!" A few days later, Maggie sent a two-month-old purebred St. Bernard with a pedigree certificate. Sure enough, it is very docile and very "fashionable". Apart from eating and growing wildly all the way, it has no obvious shortcomings, just like the one I sketched on the day I basked in the sun. Nevertheless, half a year later, when its weight was easily equal to mine, I gave it to a netizen who had a manor in the suburbs.Since then, it and I have lived a peaceful and normal life. After a while, I got up again, and said indiscriminately again: "I thought about it. In fact, I don't want a dog in my heart, but a cat! I can hug it to keep warm when I write in winter!". A few days later, Maggie brought home a stray cat that often wandered between her house and mine in the yard. After cleaning it, she named it, packed it and sent it to my house. As a result, after a few months in my house, the cat could not bear the abuse and ran away angrily. "It's a virtue to be close to nature!" I comforted Mai Qi, and at the same time excused myself: "After all, I was raised by me, or I didn't kiss! And, to be honest, I am very vain when it comes to pets. , if you want to raise it, you have to raise 'famous species'." After hearing this, Mai Qi touched Feifei who was lying at her feet full of pity——Feifei is my dog, and it is so miscellaneous that I can't trace any breed. Unexpectedly, just sympathizing with Feifei is not counted. Because of that sentence, my family soon added an "Italian Shorthair cat". Of course it was also sent by Maggie. Who knows that cats have expensive diseases, this little thing has been in my house for less than a month, our family of four, two cats, one dog and one me, were all infected with tinea felis by this famous cat.The veterinarian said that the better the breed, the easier it is for cats to get skin diseases. Sure enough, the reputation is well-deserved. After Maggie delivered it, she was also involved in helping us treat tinea felis.It took more than two months to fully recover. There are many other things besides pets. When I passed by the window, I casually said: "Carina Lau is really elegant in that watch!" So on my birthday that year, I received the most expensive watch in my life, the one in the window.I thought to myself, what a risk!Thankfully I am only praising the watch Carina Lau is wearing and not her partner. In order to reduce the pressure on me as much as possible, Mai Qi gave them some titles when giving them: birthdays, Christmas, etc., of course, and other things such as "celebrating the landing of a new program in Beijing" and "celebrating the failure of the pre-Qin thesis" "Celebrate recovery from conjunctivitis" and stuff like that. Similar incidents happened frequently in the days of our relationship, and later I reminded myself to think a little bit before I said anything, so as not to sound suggestive. At first glance, it seems that there is too much "material" in this kind of good friend relationship, but it is not.It's just that a lot of "spiritual" parts can only be used for comprehension, and it will be out of shape when written. As for other parts that are not too spiritual or material, she can show her demeanor and national temperament. The most prominent performance is that she is very "modest". For example, regardless of my bad memory, listen to me clichéd to start with "so boring" and tell various boring events; repeatedly listen to me tell the same story or joke to different people with the same tone and expression; Accompanied the "Maiba" headed by me to KTV complainingly, but she was a person who never sang; Her humility contributed to the so-called "variety" in my character, and her explanation for this was "My husband said that aritst is like this.".Of course I was ashamed. Attention everyone, when your friends say you are an arist (unless you really are), it usually means that you do have something that needs to be tolerated by others, and he/she has suffered from it. As far as I can remember, in the past 6 years, Maggie and I had only two quarrels, each of which did not last for 24 hours. Once it was because I was late, to be more precise, it was probably the 101st time I was late that year (we meet about 200 times a year). I am more likely to relax in front of people who make me feel safe, and the biggest manifestation of relaxation is "being late".If it is really measured by this, Mai Qi must be ranked first in the ranking of "the most secure person in the world", and the second place should be Dai Jun. Dai Jun texts me almost every day, because he is also a chatterbox!But there were only two of his text messages stored in the "undelete folder" by me, one of which was his famous saying "the more wounds, the brighter the diamond".I can't remember why I sent this message to me, it's probably because we are lamenting each other about our emotional problems. The other one said, "If you don't be late by 12 o'clock, you win!" The reason is that we made an appointment to record the show at 10 o'clock in the morning. Since I went to Latin dance the night before and drank alcohol, so at 9:50 the next day I I just “woke up naturally” on my own bed, looked at the time, and hurriedly texted him saying, “Can the recording time be changed to 11 o’clock?” He replied, “Okay!” Then he added the above item: “Don’t be late by 12 o’clock. It's victory!" When sending this text message, according to our sound engineer, Dai Jun has already arrived in the studio. (Off topic, please refer to his paragraph about Dai Jun.) Another time, for a while, I suddenly fell into a "very insecure" emotional distress, became neurotic for a long time, and began to doubt myself wantonly. Every woman, every once in a while, probably doubts herself or is neurotic, but I'm just a little bit more neurotic than the average neurotic.He was in constant panic every day, and of course Maggie was the one who was most implicated. Finally, in the afternoon of one day, Xu couldn’t bear it any longer, and Maggie suddenly interrupted my nervous chatter near the courtyard on the first floor of China World Trade Center, where we often appear (just an average distance away from her beloved Prada and Cartier). nagging. Then he yelled at me: "Qiu Wei, do you know that you have changed all this time! I don't like that you have become so unconfident, you can't live without confidence anymore!" That was the only time since we became friends that she yelled at me, no, it was called "boo" to be precise.Moreover, my scientific name was added in front of the content of "Roar"!This is even more unprecedented.Usually she calls me "hello" or "Qiuqiu" This made me realize the seriousness of the matter. Before she interrupted me, I was expressing my dissatisfaction with myself to her in a cliché. I was talking about looks that day. I just finished talking about eyebrows. I was talking about nose. After talking about nose, I was going to talk about teeth, then neck, birthmark, toes ... At that time, at least half a year, I was suddenly full of dissatisfaction and doubts about every cell in my body.I took Mai Qi to accompany me to change my hairstyle n times, bleach my teeth, get my ears pierced, learn golf, freestyle swimming, and plan to learn percussion, diving and skydiving. Originally, I had to cut my double eyelids, augment my nose, pad my chin, and slim my face. Fortunately, the Korean doctor said responsibly that I have scar-type skin that recovers very slowly, so my face escaped this disaster. I interpret those all as the consequences of "insecurity". But Maggie obviously doesn't see it that way, maybe she's right. According to objective logic, it's usually "bystanders know". Yes, under the circumstances at that time, if I didn't even want to have "confidence", maybe there would really be nothing left. I tried not to say anything about "safety" after that. After that, I also tried not to think about the reasons why I was dissatisfied with myself. After that, I also tried to find myself who had been lost. The process was painful, and we haven't said a word about that episode since. I may have held back a lot of words and wanted to express them in other ways.Therefore, for a few months, I wrote with unprecedented concentration, writing and writing, writing and writing, writing and writing, writing and writing. Regardless of how the written work is ultimately judged, I know that the process of writing makes people regain a little bit of the familiar and beautiful feeling before.Like, at least, confidence in your fingertips.After n years of college piano courses.They finally succeeded in returning to the speed of running on the keyboard back then. Thinking of the exclamation of a stranger who suddenly appeared behind the riverside in a foreign country that day: "My God, you can write so many Chinese characters so quickly!" Yes, in 2004, apart from the busy and boring work, I also wrote more than 400,000 words intermittently. Even if 3/4 of the manuscript was scrap, it was written with one finger after another.In the words of another good friend Dumila, "Where can we get the royalties if there are no scraps?" I don’t say whether the manuscript fee is proportional to the ups and downs of that paragraph, but I have always believed that nothing is done for nothing, no matter whether it is good or bad. Therefore, at this moment, I really want to express my gratitude. If Mai Qi hadn’t yelled at me that day, maybe there would not even be scrapped manuscripts, and of course there would be no manuscript fees. Let a short-term chaotic person get back on the track of life. Although I know Maggie doesn't really care about what I write—compared to her friendship with me—she has encouraged me more sincerely and helped me more than anyone. Of course, I said that she "doesn't really care about what I write", which is also well-founded. for example: Maggie often asks me to name her, ranging from her son to the cats in their house to the brands of the company registered by her good friend. Not used. I don't care about anything else, Maggie's son Sam is the most beautiful little boy I have ever seen. I remember that on the second day after his birth, my good friend Nan Nan and I went to the hospital to visit. Maggie was overjoyed when she saw someone coming. Immediately jumped out of the hospital bed - mind you, really "jumped" - and said to us "Look, my son's eyes are so big!" As he spoke, he walked over to Sam, who was just 2 days old at the time, and pulled the eyes of Sam who was sleeping soundly away.The child had only had a very limited understanding of the world for barely 48 hours before. His eyes are really big! From that day on, Sam was destined to be a strong boy, who let him be with such a maverick mother! About Sam's anecdote, if I want to write it, I'm afraid I have to write another 200,000 words, or later. Let's talk about giving Sam a name. Sam's father is British. In view of the equality of men and women in the family, Sam has two names, one follows his father's surname, called Sam Burton.One follows his mother's surname, and Mai Qi's surname is Yang, so the son should be called "Yang what". So what is Yang? Maggie got me up. I have been thinking about it for many days after I got this assignment. After thinking a lot, Mai Qi finally chose one of them: "Yiheng" Before I went to bed that night, I had already had a big dream of Spring and Autumn, looking forward to seeing Sam on TV one day when I became an old lady, receiving an award in an international competition—— Unshakable belief——I kept my mouth shut, and while knitting, I said to my wife who was reading the newspaper beside me, "Hey, old man, the winner, Mr. Yang Yiheng, I gave his name to me! " The old man certainly didn't believe it, so we spent the next two hours arguing happily - what a wonderful old age! Who knows, the next day, my dream was shattered. The reason is Maggie's British husband. Although Mr. Bolton's Chinese is not very good at ordinary times, he will not be left behind when he provokes troubles at critical moments. According to the child's mother, the child's father raised his eyebrows after hearing the name and asked, "Does this name have a continuation meaning?" "Why?" the mother asked. "Yiheng? (sounds the same as 'Yiheng')" the father said: "That is to say, there are also 'Yi Vertical', 'Yi Shu', and 'Yi Na' after it? That's good, we really should have a Big family with lots of kids!" In this way, in order to conform to the national conditions, Mai Qi, who was not so interested in "big family with many children", categorically denied this name, completely disregarding my tragic feeling of broken vision in my later years. It's not over yet, another two years have passed.For some reason, I remembered the name again. Maggie likes names that are neat, sonorous, loud and emotional. "For example, Li Bai and Dou Wei." Mai Qi said. "But this is also why people will pick surnames." I provoked. Sam's surname is Yang, what if his name is "Yang Bai"?Average (the direct feeling is that the word "labor" must be added later to have a sense of ending). "Yang Wei"?It's also average (and the pronunciation must be accurate, it will be a little troublesome if someone like Sam's father reads it bluntly)! After hearing what I said, Mai Qi rolled her eyes, and after thinking about the situation quickly, she chose to swallow her anger, just like her usual attitude towards me. "It's better like this." I couldn't see others putting up with me, and when I realized my conscience, I stepped forward again: "It's called 'Yang Huo', what do you think?" Seeing her bowing her head in thought, I hastened to add, "'Confusion' in ''less is gain, more is confusion'." Bringing out Lao Tzu at the critical moment, it is obvious that the ancient civilization has played some role in modern people, and a satisfied smile slowly appeared on Mai Qi's face. In the next day or two, Maggie experimented with her son every one or two hours: "Who is Yang Huo?" "Me!" Sam is always very supportive, no matter what he is doing, he will immediately put down the work in his hands and take the call. Considering that he was only two years old at the time, but he was more than 20 years old, he always responded loudly and exaggeratedly without thinking. The new name, the scene is touching, and there is something tragic that does not belong to his age. It seems that changing to this name is a matter of humiliation. Unexpectedly, the stable situation did not last long because of the seamless cooperation between the mother and son.When the weekend came, it was time to visit relatives and friends, and relatives from all walks of life gathered together at Mai Qi's house. "That's a bad name!" It was Maggie's aunt and Sam's great-aunt who spoke this time. "That's right! What 'Yang Huo'? It sounds like 'foreign goods'!" The great-aunt followed his wife's opinion tacitly. "Why do you emphasize 'foreign goods'?! Afraid that others will not know that he is of mixed race? No way! Why not call it 'domestic goods'!" The patriotic integrity of aunts and aunts makes every detail of life bright and not to be wasted. ... "Call it 'Joint Venture'! Hahahaha! 'Joint Venture' is more accurate!" Later that day, I couldn't help laughing after listening to Maggie's report: "Or call it 'Yang. European technology made in China. Bolton. II' How about it?" "You started it all! You're still booing!!" The seriousness on Mai Qi's face made the incident even more ridiculous. In a blink of an eye, Sam is almost 5 years old, and he is not called "foreign goods". My friendship with Maggie has grown day by day, from the two of us at the beginning to gradually eroding her family: I am her son's godmother, her brother's first "leader" and previous headhunters, and I have been able to talk to her naturally Mom and Dad are crazy, and her husband jokingly called each other "darling" ... Maggie's parents are my favorite parents, and even Maggie's younger brother has been forcibly regarded by me as my own brother.In addition to continuously caring about his work with practical actions as his own responsibility, he can even ask him for tickets before holding various performances in Beijing (because his girlfriend's father is a cadre of a famous performance venue) ——It is not easy for me to ask for things like a big fan, and it is really impossible without a deep friendship. During the Spring Festival, I was invited to her house for a reunion dinner as usual. On the way, I was still worried: "What if I accidentally scold your brother?"——"Screaming" is the same as "asking for a ticket", it is definitely a kind of close relationship Performance only when reaching a certain level. Mai Qi gave me a blank look and said lazily: "Then what should I do, the whole family must have been shocked, and then pretended not to hear!" I laughed, I was very happy, and I felt very safe. But I didn't scold her brother that day, mainly because it wasn't my turn to scold her—the younger brother brought his girlfriend home. After eating 3 hairy crabs covered with pokes, I am in a great mood! Maggie's husband sitting at the same table must also be in a good mood. He was eating, and suddenly turned to me and said that he liked Stravinsky's "Firebird".I didn't dare to answer, mainly because I was worried that my professional knowledge would not be able to match him, even though I studied music in college.Mr. Bolton, by the way, is the most learned man I know, and at the same time he doesn't take learning at all seriously. Mai Qi is such a "full living person" who is bound to become a role model. Words like "happy" are too superficial to describe her, but, If it is interpreted as "beautiful and plump", it is another matter. Imagine her reaction when she saw this, hahahaha. No way, who let the "writer" have the right to speak for the whole friend in a certain field. Wu Hao Dai Jun My daily life is extremely dull, and my real hobbies are limited to the following: Shopping, eating, dazed, chatting, and, hehe (laughing awkwardly), reading and writing. Among all my friends, Dai Jun is probably the one closest to my vices—except that he has no time to be in a daze.Just getting close is not enough, the point is that in every item, I always play the "cheaper" side.For example, when shopping, he will never get tired of being a "beautiful finger", when eating, he always checks out like a parent, and when chatting or sharing book reviews, he always has unique ideas... This has made me believe that he is special since we met To be good friends, has been good until now. He has a dedicated agent, Ms. Su, who complained to me one day, saying that Dai Jun’s biggest problem is "whoever gets caught is good for whom" and "it's too easy to open up to others!" I couldn't help laughing out loud, I highly praise her for choosing a word that is extremely appropriate for Dai Jun-"open your heart". Yes, this is him! What makes Dai Jun scratch everyone's head the most is that he doesn't know how to fortify his mouth. However, even if he is so open-minded, basically, what he doesn't defend is limited to his own affairs, and his friends' secrets will be blocked, filtered and digested by him.For example, he is the one who knows the most about my "lack of love and hate" among the people around him, but for so many years, there has been no sign of him "going away". He especially knows what things can be said as a joke, and other Some of them can only form amber or pearls in the body.Dai Jun abides by such rules and respects his understanding of me. He has always been a good friend who is sloppy on the surface but very clear in his heart. Dai Jun is a native of Shanghai. Sometimes the frugal personality of Shanghainese is occasionally revealed, but the frugality is for himself, and the generosity is for friends.For example, once, he asked me to help him buy a kind of cosmetics for the stage.Originally, I knew the dealer of that product in Beijing, who could offer a discount, but I haven't contacted for a long time, and when I inquired, the dealer had already transferred.I was not ashamed to tell Dai Jun, so I asked a friend who happened to be going to Hong Kong to bring it for him, so I got a discounted price.When the things arrived in Dai Jun’s hands, he was very happy and insisted on treating us to dinner. Unfortunately, we were a group activity with more than a dozen people that day. As a result, Dai Jun, who saved more than 200 yuan on cosmetics, In Lufthansa, we invited a bunch of people to drink and dance in a German beer house, which cost thousands of dollars. "Stupid!" I feel sorry for him: "It's better to just buy it in Scitech!" "Where is it! It's rare to be happy!" Dai Jun smiled all over his face, patted me on the shoulder with no reluctance, and was very transparently happy, just like his usual appearance. I thought to myself, it is not uncommon for such happiness to happen from time to time in his days. Dai Jun is well-known among his friends for his fondness for reading, and he has a good memory. An old friend A Yi said a famous saying more than ten years ago: "Girls who don't know they are beautiful are very beautiful." In the same way, Dai Jun, who loves books so much, rarely hears him say in media interviews that he "likes reading" in my memory. This is what makes him so cute. In this industry, there are not many hosts who speak human language, and those who "speak human language" just right are even more so.Dai Jun knows how to respect the existence of all the participants present, and his true temperament makes his humor different from the kind of "taking the nasty as funny" of many colleagues. However, maybe the true temperament is too much, I have known him for so long, and the only time I saw him cry was on the show, the kind that was really "in public". This year, Dai Jun took over Li Bin's brother and started working with Li Jing on "Emotional Equation", which I am nostalgic for.When I first heard the news, I thought to myself: It's over... Sure enough, Dai Jun lived up to my worries. From the first moment he appeared on the show, we tacitly exposed each other, contributed everything we could about each other, and devoted ourselves to amusing ourselves and entertaining the public. Behaving quite generously. However, just a few episodes after being generous, Brother Dai was moved by the experience of the guests at the scene, suddenly forgot his identity as the host, and cried more deeply than everyone else. It was about love that day. We are all the kind of people who can't bear to be moved. Don't look at the posture of being invulnerable to all poisons, in fact, the whole body is full of weaknesses, and any point can cause temporary hemiplegia. However, in comparison, I would certainly prefer to see him when he is brilliant. Once I watched him host a certain party on TV. Seeing the rise, I texted him and said, "You look beautiful when you laugh, just like my 'heart idol' Bae Yong Joon!" After posting, I felt that this expression was too pale, and hurriedly added: "He is known as the 'Rolls Royce of men'!" Dai Jun immediately texted back and said, "Then I am Chery QQ." I read it and said shortly: "Why are you modest!" He replied shortly: "It's not about being humble, it's about being patriotic." You know, only after you know Dai Jun to a certain extent, you will know that his answer like this is not completely teasing. It's just that he will use his peculiar language state to express his not so peculiar real feelings at various strange times.He is more used to choosing the form of four or two to pull a thousand catties. Presumably, it is also to avoid pressure on others. He is a considerate person, and has always been like this. Yes, sometimes this makes me quite embarrassing, because the real him is far more real and respectable than the "public" gaze, but you can't suddenly say to others without a background: "Dai Jun is such a A good man: loves friends, loves family, loves reading, loves country..." It sounds a little too weird for that. Last year we co-produced a radio program called "City Diary", which was a daily dialogue program. Therefore, in the historical year of 2004, we talked to each other for 182.5 hours (365 days, half an hour per day). Refurbishment cannot be repeated. Even if you talk about a vigorous love, the gold content of the dialogue is nothing more than that. On the contrary, that was the year when we had the least close relationship. Every time we met, we were in a hurry, especially reminding ourselves not to talk too much with each other, because I was afraid that if we said everything we wanted to say, we would be cold when the show was recorded. Finally, in 2005, the program was re-adjusted, and we also responded to what we did in the past many years. We will see you when you want to, talk about what you want, and the way of speaking has a new plot.For a while, he was filming in other places, and he just bought a copy of Feng Zikai's prose to read with him. So, during the interval between the set, he sent me all the essence of that book by text message, every five text messages After that, he would find time to call me to ask me how I felt.The discussion between the two was very heated, and the energy they put into it was like the scene in the "Poetry Club" in the movie, completely out of touch with the luxurious life in front of them. When "Illusion" was published the year before last, Dai Jun's preface was well received. Apart from the preface, he also stood up when I signed the sale and sat beside me to "accompany the signing".As a result, I enjoyed the pleasure of signing more than one hundred copies in an hour when I signed for the first time in my life!I was embarrassed to bother him this time, but after finishing all the manuscripts, I still felt that he couldn't do without this part.It always seems to be like this, in all these years as a friend, I always give him the most limited conditions and the highest expectations, but he has never disappointed me. On that day in early summer, I asked Dai Jun to have dinner with a bunch of idlers. Like many times that day, he was never idle from the beginning to the end. In addition to helping everyone prepare dishes and signing autographs for the "fans" next door, he spoke for no less than 30 days. A joke, more than half of which looks like he's original. Looking at the situation, I knew in my heart that this must be a dinner party that he felt very boring.This is another characteristic of Dai Jun. The more he feels bored, the more he will work harder to create lively live effects, for fear that people around him will feel that "bored". I couldn't stand it, and chatted with him in a language that only he could understand. In this way, our "sign" shuttled among the people, and we exchanged some content that had nothing to do with any jokes, and it was very satisfying. Before leaving, Dai Jun inexplicably expressed emotion, and texted me from a distance of less than 3 meters, saying, "It's great to have a friend like you." he.Because neither of us are good at being cheesy, but I was like, oh my god, this is what I really want to say to him! Super Li Jing's Formula Over the past year or so, the thing that has had the greatest impact on me is probably going to "Emotional Equation". "Influence" has many meanings, all related to Li Jing. I often think that Li Jing has many personality factors, the most prominent one is her "bravery", even from the trivial matter that she used me as a regular guest on her "biological" show This "brave". This is a bit like the first impression she gave me. It was many years ago when Li Jing was very busy attracting business for the show. "Attracting investment for the program" is equivalent to giving birth to a child. Unless you have personally given birth, it is absolutely impossible to experience the pain and pleasure in it-the premise is that the result must attract investment. I haven't given birth to a child yet, but I have recruited commercials for various programs countless times, most of which ended in disastrous failures. The result is a painful understanding of "investment".So I absolutely admire those who can finally stick to the results. The brave Li Jing JJ has extraordinary skills, whether it is childbirth, making shows and attracting business, she has achieved outstanding results. Of course, neither of these two things can be done by one person alone. Li Jing is quite talented in cooperation, and is very good at "gathering people", and the people she gathers are not ordinary people (please automatically rule out my suspicion of boasting myself). It's a pity that I have professional ethics and must live up to the expectations of a small number of people at this time, so I won't gossip about Li Jing's family affairs here for the time being. Back to The Emotional Equation. Since I was a child, I was particularly obsessed with the "collective" because I was afraid of loneliness. After I grew up, because I had a new view on loneliness, I finally had some discrimination against the "collective", and I was not so obsessed with it randomly. 正因为如此，才特别不好意思当着面说，《情方》这个团队，是一个在“甄别”之后，仍特别被我迷恋着的集体。 这个集体是令人愉快的，每次看我到达现场，张伟和延娜等人都不由自主地露出“松一口气”的表情，她们宽容的态度纵容着我的迟到。每次都感到抱歉，然而总是不改。因为确定大家对我好。 来晚了还有另一个优待是可以被阳乾化妆，他其实是只负责主持人和明星嘉宾的。我不太理会，心里给自己借口说，反正底子差嘛，需要技术更高一筹的人，这也是为节目考虑。 节目外最享受的事情是边化妆边听赞美同时喝到热咖啡。 李彬除了主持之外，曾是那个主要负责赞美现场所有女性的人。每次都把溢美之词说的跟真的一样，伴着他那个笑成“缝眼”而看不出眼神的微笑。而每每在节目里他要给自己台阶下的时候，则都以宣布自己“怕老婆”做幌子，生怕别人不知道他家庭美满。其实这把戏早就被看穿，只是不好意思披露他而已，算了算了，当他那是在表达感情好了！ 相对而言，同为“鉴证人”的老康就朴实得多，除了给在场女士冲咖啡买零食之外，节目下还主动运用自己的专业为《情方》提供更多的科技平台。这样一个好青年，还写的一手好文章，有识货的女青年一定要多多关注我们节目的各种平台呀。 很奇怪，这样的一群人在李静的号召之下凑在一起，时间和空间均不允许我在这儿把每个人都描述一遍，可实际上不管落下谁都不能成其为“集体”。 怎么办，骑墙吗？ 不厚道。 曾经在《情方》的BBS上写过类似“幕后花絮”一样的东西。 在那里头断续记述过李媛（李静JJ的亲妹妹）如何置亲情于不顾，对节目质量的控制毫不含糊；我们亲爱的编导豆豆和江南是如何“破获”一桩桩情感事件、又怎样直捣当事人内心。 用这么“血腥”的形容词肯定会被他们笑，但这种总结式的短句的确很难表现那个精彩和当场被触动的程度，真的要了解也只有看节目才能体会。 这不是推销，大概我孤陋寡闻，反正，在别的节目里我没发现过那么“汇粹”的场面，就算不说幕后，单是那么多优秀的心理老师济济一堂轮番上阵不啻也是一种壮观。 还有那些一起“坐爱情两岸看青春流失”的各类情感嘉宾，谁到了这个环境里好象都忽然领悟到“形象就是假象”的真谛。是的，《情方》有一个奇怪的“场”，它让所有人在走进它的时候都忽然过滤掉铅华，成全了想不到的那片刻放下包袱的真实。 这本小说写完之后，我常会想，也许李静与别人看它的感觉会略有不同，因为只有她最了解那里面有哪些情节根本就直接来自《情方》现场。 这大概也是支持我继续写下去的信心跟原动力，为此也要特别谢谢李静，至少她给了我一个无限的题材来源，怎能不珍惜？ 达人达人 １，不离不弃的师傅Vs芳龄永继的李姐 还清楚地记得那天我颤颤巍巍地跟在徐江后面走进“达人”办公室的情形。 那天师傅让胡伟给我录了个样带，师傅看在他的好朋友徐江的面子上，勉强说了句：“还行，有那么一点意思。”我知道其实我的表现让在场所有人对我当电台主持人都不抱信心。 那个样带的片头是抄袭沈时华当时一个节目的问候语，叫：“相逢自是有缘”。 借她的吉言，从当年他们勉强收留我到今天，达人的包容加上我自己的一点点努力，转眼，我的“电台主持梦”也已经断续地做了１０年，都一直还没有机会当面表示感谢，实在是罪过。 李姐最了不起的地方是随时随地都能“不记前嫌”。这是非常有高度的特质，我常觉得她应该从政，但这一点从来没当面说过，因为她很会“用亲切表示距离，用距离保持亲切”。常想，如果“达人”这么多年以来非要评选出一位真正的“达人”，必定是非李姐莫属。 相对而言，阿拉亲爱的师傅相对来说就表现的比较情绪化。比如，他在对我节目的要求上总是虎头蛇尾，10年以来一贯如此！每次都是给我画了个超级的饼，结果每次都是刚画完，他就忽然隐形消失了。以至于到最后我会偷偷怀疑，也许这是我自己的问题，因为他对别的事情都能持之以恒善始善终，只要下决心做了就一定会成功。那些成功的业绩不胜枚举，大家都有目共睹。当我看见三里屯儿离他的酒吧不远的灯箱里竟然挂上了《男孩儿女孩儿2》的时候，真是气不打一处来！如果没有这个，或许，那灯箱里就会挂我的书的广告了。呵呵，恨啊！ 对了，顺便说，早在他开第一间“男孩女孩”的时候，我趁他高兴提了两个要求，一个是酒吧要用我起的名字（我起了俩，一个是“ez-az”一个是“算了吧”），另一个要求是让我在那酒吧里驻唱。 还好，这两个要求师傅都没答应，成全了他自己也挽救了我。Thank goodness! 师傅也不是随便就不答应，为了考量我是否适合当酒吧驻唱歌手，他当时还特地用达人的公款给我买了个相当高级合成器。我拿它当键盘使，练习了两个礼拜之后在公司部分同仁面前红着脸弹唱了《但愿人长久》。刚唱了前半段，还没到副歌，只见师傅笑了笑说“怪怪的。”表情跟第一次听我做节目时候一样。后来他建议我不如去学编曲得了，反正琴都买了。于是李姐就特地再次批示，又是用的公款给我交了学费，送我去上了“苹果”的那个当时著名的midi学习班。如今，当年我的同学好多都成了被各大唱片公司争捧的红人，我依然是当年的我，键盘始终停留在只会弹唱《但愿人长久》前半段的程度。 就是这样，虽然这１０年以来师傅始终有负“师傅”之名，从来也没给我提出什么特别有建设性的意见，甚至都没有特别赞扬过我，但，因为有他和李姐这样的人，让我觉得，即使是到了60岁，也还有机会觉得自己仍然没有长大。“有机会觉得自己仍然没有长大”这感觉，对一个女人来说是无比重要的。这也是为什么我多年以来一直没有改变过对他们的称呼，不管是“师傅”或“李姐”。 谢谢你们，让我至今还有机会当着“仍然有进步空间”的电台主持人和总能“装小”。 ２，超值的小木，绝对的大鹏！ 既然说到电台节目，就不能不说说我的历任制作人跟搭档了。 我有一个特别糟糕的能力，就是，只要是我的男同事，甭管开始的时候以什么嘴脸出现，用不了多久，都会变的对我迁就忍让，好像前辈子欠我的。 从最早时候的胡伟、胡景华，直到现在的小木大鹏全都殊途同归，屡试不爽。 小木以前是国旗班的演奏员，大鹏则是出身名门的历史研究员，这么两个前途无量的青年材俊之人，居然屈尊跑来当我的电台节目制作人，感慨和受宠若惊之余，每每只能以折磨他们来提醒彼此的价值以期达到合作的平衡 . 回想，长期以来，我身边的红男绿女，对我的态度分为两种，男性朋友们通常都是忍受，女性朋友们则多是忍让，虽然都姓“忍”，但程度不同，通常女性除了“受”之外还有个“让”，要么怎么说女的比较伟大呢？从对待我的态度上也可见一斑，毋庸质疑。 如果以此来衡量的话，小木和大鹏，也许都有一颗不是女人而胜似女人的伟大心灵，这就值得好好一笑。 《城市日记》是我做过的节目里内容量最大，质量要求也最高的，但也是我迄今为止坚持最久的一档节目，坚持的理由，扪心自问，只能诚实地回答，很重要的一条就是，在这个“好男人”越来越向“熊猫”的态势发展的今天，能跟这么多熊猫级的男人们公事，怎么舍得离开啊～～ 不能够！ 搭档少年都不贱%%% “找明星站台”已经成了遭人唾弃的老把戏，对于一个作品的实际影响作用不大，大家有目共睹。我当然不会冒着被唾弃的危险还连累朋友，所以，你们在这看到的这半册并不只是“明星站台”那么简单的东西。 没错，这本书的后半册，有它独立的名字，叫做《留言，留念》，是这本书完整不可分割的一部分。 起初出版社的领导表示不解，认为和小说内容无关。 说的也是哦。 跟小说内容或许是无关（不，应该说：跟小说内容肯定是无关），但从整体勾画的角度考虑就不是那么的无关了。 我还是矢志不渝地对写随笔充满了无力抗拒的兴趣，所以，作为重要的一部分，这半扇初初的立意是，以“所有搭档的留言”为幌子让我顺利地过一过写随笔的瘾。何况诸位帮我写序的又都是秀外慧中，有他们的妙笔生花，终极目的也是为了让读者觉得物有所值，出发点善良的不行！ 说到这儿呢，必须要忏悔一下：呵呵，我常很恶心地说自己有“帮搭档运”。 实际的情形是，我的历任搭档都很红或正在奔向很红的途中，而他们全都不计较地跟我合作。 比如，亲爱的何老师。 想来想去，始终也就只有一句话要说：在这个世界上，总有那么个别人，或许你快乐的时候会淡忘他的存在，但，在遇到难捱的事情时，会想要向他倾诉而无需任何预热。这么多年以来，何老师就一直在扮演着这样一个人，好像《花样年华》中那棵栽在异国的倾听树——当然不止是对我而言。 呵呵，好长的一句。 05年《城市日记》要给我换一个搭档，起初我很不以为然：谁在我心目中能代替的了戴军呢？那可是近十年的友谊换来的默契！ 徐睿来录样带的第一个十分钟后，我就决定接受这个新搭档了。 说起来，那是另一个“恶心”的理由：徐睿挡在麦克后面的半张脸，乍一看就真的很像黄磊。我骤然间灵魂出窍，脑海中出现了那年录《黄磊时间》的情景，还伴着的旋律……。 （自问：哈哈哈，还能写得更恶心吗？ 自答：恐怕很难~） 等没过几天，幻影消失，所有人恢复本来面目，《城市日记》在半疼不痒中继续陪我们蹉跎。 我记不得为什么了，三个月后的某天，也许是作息时间相近，我跟小徐同学忽然成了MSN上半夜的聊友。 具体聊了些什么其实我也记不得了，反正，聊了N个回合之后，一次，我很由衷地跟小徐说，希望有一天，他成为一个像梁朝伟那样的人，因为他具备这样的条件跟可能。 在我以往娱乐业工作的业绩中，还没有特别“走眼”的经验。 至于为什么，相信小徐会在未来给大家一个清晰的交代。 许力是我认识的人中拥有最多资源而最不知道如何把它们转化成生产力的人。 说“资源”虽然功利但很准确，据说，在北京地产业，他是最直接能请到贝聿铭的人。他有的资源当然不止这些，比如，我随便组织了一个不到百人的小活动，他就大手笔地帮我找来了一位名字时常出现在各大报纸“时事版”的重要人物。 我当时两脚发软，恨不得立刻奔走相告：“我们的未来，在希望的田野上昂昂~” 只是，说起来这是一个很好笑的事，我们这两个道地的文艺青年，居然都是因为生活所迫而浪迹在北京良莠不齐的地产业，可见我们只能属于其中的“莠草”。 也许因为我年纪比较大，个性比较更加的悲天悯人，所以，认识没多久之后，就奋不顾身地非想把他拉回到艺文的行列。 许力也是个没主见的孩子，放着地产大亨的位置不做，跑来我做电台，还被我陷害，弄了个黑脸来演。 他也不负众望，才录了没几期就引起很大反响——当然是骂声一片！ 他学识渊博，交游广阔个。我们说要把他塑造成李敖那样的刺猬型选手，但有一点能确定的是，不管以后发生什么事，在任何场合，许力都不会像李敖那样诋毁自己的朋友或伴侣，他比李敖更多了善良的DNA。 说来也是个难题，像他样一个奇葩，个对现世诱惑既没热望也没感觉，穷到就剩下满腔热忱和一脑门子的知识了。其实到现在我也还是不特别确定，挡了他的财路把他从掘金的行业里拖出来是积功还是缺德。 我还在踌躇着，听许力说他近来在备课，准备要去讲《人家词话》了。 我很欣然，希望上帝特别眷顾那些好好学习天天向上的优质青年。 五月初的时候，我在《城市日记》的BBS上给我亲爱的听众留下以下的这段话，希望他们知道，他们的支持，对所有这些的成行都具有不可取代的作用。希望可以跟我们所有的听众分享这些。 “北京有个餐厅叫TGI FRIDAY,我很喜欢这个名字,TG是THANKS GOD的缩写.所以,它的意思是,感谢上帝,今天星期五. 过了人间四月天，终于又到一个长假了。 这是一段超美丽的日子,在节目里,徐睿跟我终于找到更多默契的感受,主要是缘自,我们不再像以前那样离开录音室就老死不相往来,甚至,我在三个星期前的那一场大病当中,还半夜三点跟他在MSN上谈理想谈人生,呵呵,是真的哦. 许力就更不用说,他在我的高压之下越来越出落的像个真正的主持人了,哈哈,相信我,他有很不同的内涵跟特质,但愿终于能有一个恰当的方式能让你们感觉到那些内涵跟特质的意义。 想跟你们分享这些,是因为,《城市日记》还在拼命努力着,努力是为了每一个我们在乎的你~ 当然,还有戴军。 我们在不做搭档之后,终于又像以前一样能有多一些的时间享受当朋友的乐趣,昨天,亲爱的男友跟我一起约戴军在后海喝下午茶,他又讲了很多故事逗我们笑,像以前的很多年里一样。 天气和心情都好到不真实~ 很想能跟你们一起分享这种幸福感,相信我,上帝会用一种出人意料的手笔,让我们觉得,福音是无声的,是如此美丽, 谢谢你们关心我的书,它的'预产期'是5月20号,放心吧,所有属于《城市日记》的你,都会先于任何其他人知道它的下落的,为了你们,我也要让自己努力成为一个畅销书作者啊!!实在这本不行,就还会有下一本,再一本,再下一本……写到你们想吐为止,哈哈 另外一个帖子里有徐睿和许力给我写的序,你们是第一个看到的啊! 开篇的那通废话,是想告诉你,我此时的心情,正是THANKS GOD ITS U! 我要你们知道,为了我们共同的《城市日记》,我始终都如此在意你们。 " 只是你而不是谁 1，一种畅销的可能 我的生活平淡无奇，偶尔遇见各把非常规事件就能亢奋半天。 认识齐震的那天，瞎聊，发现我们居然有着惊人相似的背景（可能也就我这么没什么见识的人才会觉得“惊人”）。如果非心怀不轨的话，也能编出《向左转向右转》的传奇。 因此，这样的基础让我们很快建立不同凡响的信任跟友谊。 某次齐震的好友结婚，我们被要求在婚礼上表演。结果那婚礼的前夜我紧张到失眠，就约了他提前出来练歌。所以类似在别人看来多少显得有点荒唐的行径到了他那儿都见怪不怪。 那天被我们硬拽去ktv的另一个帅哥说：“能在半夜３点一起唱歌的人肯定是不一般的好朋友。” 没错，我们就是不一般的好朋友。 在过去的一年里面，他认真地听我的节目，看我的书，还强迫他的同事朋友也看。他是我周围罕有的个别真的在意我“作品”的人，在意的意思不是简单的赞扬，在意就是在意。 他当然不止对我才在意，凡当他朋友的，都多少遭到过他的在意。 朋友的孩子要考学，他就上蹿下跳地张罗；朋友开了饭馆，他成了那家店常年的食客（按常规付钱的那种），每次还带不同的其他人一起捧场；每次有朋友结婚，他都看起来比新郎还忙活…… 当然，过分热心偶尔也会给周围人带来困扰。 比如，在齐震的慈悲心大发之下他从大马路上拣过几回流浪猫，其中有一只还住过我家。有时候真的很想跟他说如果你不确定能照顾它们，就别拣啦。 但我没说，因为知道说了之后一定是引出他的一番道理然后我自己哑口无言。是的，齐震很会讲道理，大道理小道理到了他嘴里都能时而粪土时而莲花，全凭他当刻的心情。 我嘴上说不过他，以他比我高２０公分的身高想必动手也同样是以我认输为结果。所以，只能对其实行谦让，结果，齐震让我体验到谦让的乐趣。 想着他看到这儿一定会不屑地笑说“不夸自己会死啊！” 呵呵，不夸自己不会死，但让我不夸他就很难了。再说，早在我动笔写这本书的时候齐先生就夸下海口，说等书出版的时候他要买一千本送朋友。 如果真是这样的话，买一千本书的人也只能是他，因为齐震是我周围少有的个别可能有那么多朋友的人，还一定是真心的朋友，各种各样的都有。 Great!期待着我的书在某一天因为齐震的誓言兑现而光荣地步入某个书店的“畅销榜”！ 2，天使的天边 有一年新年晚会我们高班的一个男生写了一首歌叫《下一个新年你在哪儿》。那是12年前，我刚上大学，满脑子的情怀与志向。 我们小小的年纪就在叹息着无常，还挺悲戚的，悲戚是因为根本不知道什么“无常”长什么样子。 等到“无常”真在眼前的时候，其实，它的凄厉和无奈，是完全无从预料和抵抗的。 亲爱的李雁在sars之后像个天使一样出现，在那个危机关头给了我劫后的第一个转机，虽然她的离开让我非常愧疚跟难过，但，渐渐，也放心释怀，因为我在猜，想必上帝是真的让她去当了他的天使，因为那正是她留给我们的全部印象。 也正是她的离开让我更坚定了一个将会被看做是终身理想的目标，那就是，我希望我每一点小小的成绩，都能成为一个累积，为未来给“抑郁症”患者提供服务建立基石。 明知是蛇足 总要说点跟小说有关的事吧。 之前给几个特别信赖的良师益友看了一稿，大家出于善良，对别的都有所保留，惟独不能忍的统一意见是：“典范”这个人物太美，而且太迷恋名牌。 呵呵，说的没错。 典范的两次正式亮相都是“珠光宝气”，我写的我自然知道。 “解释”是很不高级的事情呵。 这我也知道。 但对于“典范”的长相穿着，还是想不高级地解说一下。 有次一个跟张曼玉工作过的女孩跟我说“maggie常常穿不超过１０港币的T恤。” 我啧啧称叹，毫不怀疑她说的这话的真实性，我所指的真实性的意思是“我们敬爱的maggie cheung绝对有资格不当名牌的奴隶。” 只是有点佩服张曼玉，不知道这年头，她都上哪儿去买“不超过１０港币的T恤”。 我当然也不是那么死心眼没幽默感的人，可能这是一种比喻，比喻的意思是说：maggie cheung当然可以不是名牌的奴隶。 Why?Do you still need to ask?因为她美啊！ 到今天还有谁怀疑她的美吗？谁谁谁？有本事站出来！ 没有吧。她的既有形象在群众心目中已经超过了任何一个奢侈品的影响力。 别说穿“不超过１０港币的T恤”，就算她哪天高了兴，干脆用一叠１０港币直接贴身上，相信她也照样能风姿绰约，美的毫不含糊。 哪个中国女人没事非要跟张曼玉比，那真是自己给自己找不痛快！ 所以，想迷恋名牌的人还是可以继续迷恋，反正不是张曼玉。说不定对名牌的迷恋还能化为工作动力，有什么不好？ 对，这就是我要解释的：为什么我在写典范的时候，用了那么多牌子在他身上。 因为，我笨嘛！不知道用什么其他方式，更能衬托他是那样的一个，活的很在意很刻意也不失美好的艺人