Chapter 7 "Rumours" one

It was nearly ten years ago when I heard about Yang Xiaoning's marriage. At that time, 21-year-old Wu Fei was playing cards with some classmates in the dormitory.After her classmate Chen Lanlan told her the news in her ear, she eagerly waited to see her reaction.Wu Fei was not sure how she should react to live up to Chen Lanlan's eager expectations, so she had to continue playing cards.They were still playing "Double Picking 80 Points" that day. Wu Fei touched the "cat" several times in a row. Hit the "hook", and as a result, was "hooked" by the opponent.

After the lights were turned off in the dormitory, Wu Fei climbed onto the upper bunk where she was sleeping, and then she started shaking like chaff in the dark. Chen Lanlan, who was sleeping in her lower bunk, murmured, "Hey, is there an earthquake?" In order not to make a sound, Wu Fei desperately bit her lower lip, trying to compete with her own grief, until the tears were suffocated, and she faintly felt that her grief had moved to her throat, from where it could not be restrained. There was a salty taste. Even at such a sad moment, Wu Fei, who is at the age of romantic fantasy, still does not forget romantic fantasy.She fantasized that if her body was Lin Daiyu, she would immediately turn tears into blood in her heart like Sister Lin, and then spray it all over the wall!While spraying, he also shouted "Xiao Ning, hello..." with a straight voice, making the omitted sentence after "good" a poignant and beautiful eternal suspense and swan song.

Maybe, after everyone dies in the future, some aliens will bring a tour group to visit the former site of her school. Maybe an alien tour guide will point to this half-buried and weathered wall and say to everyone : "Look, there are still blood and tears of human beings full of emotion on it. It was the indulgent spray of a certain young female human after a broken love." The alien crowd on the sidelines sighed. Everyone no longer knew what "emotion" was. I can't even imagine how "broken love" is a one-time thing. "I don't know what the bloodstain will look like tens of thousands of years later, anyway, aliens will always have high technology to discover or preserve it." Wu Fei continued to daydream in grief.

Yang Xiaoning was Wu Fei's first love, he was seven years older than her, and he had been with Wu Fei for two years before that day without any surprise, vulgar and sweet.Normally, when Wu Fei went to school and Yang Xiaoning went to work, it seemed that he was waiting for her to graduate from college so that they could talk about marriage legally. No one thought about what would happen to them.This is not to say how deep and shocking the relationship between the two of them is, on the contrary, under normal circumstances, the more ordinary the relationship is, the less likely it is to change.Think about it, only the "ordinary" is the least likely to give "change" room to breed--the so-called "one can be strong without desires", probably means this.

"Accident" does not happen so casually, because "accident" is a gift prepared by God, specially given to some people with certain talents.Only those who have experienced accidents can use their talents to turn "accidents" into strength and create various legends that are emulated by future generations.Although, on the surface, neither Yang Xiaoning nor Wu Fei seem to have any "talent".They had neither arms above the knee nor earlobes reaching to the shoulders.They are just one of the crowd, and they belong to the kind where it is difficult to find out immediately after entering a crowd of more than thirteen people.Therefore, even if there must be an accident between them, it can only be caused by "unforeseen" natural disasters and man-made disasters.

However, someone has taught us a long time ago that many things must be seen through the phenomenon to see the essence, and we should maintain a vigilant heart for love for a long time!Yes, the ordinary Wu Fei just didn't want to be vigilant, which led to such a sad ending. In fact, just two weeks before Chen Lanlan brought the news, Wu Fei and Yang Xiaopeng had a routine date.Moreover, it was during that date that Yang Xiaoning suddenly announced out of nowhere that he was going on a business trip, saying that the place he was going to was quite far away, and the journey took a long time, and he cried after speaking—the sobbing kind.It was the first time in Wu Fei's life that she saw a grown man cry in front of her, so she was not particularly moved in time, but she didn't know how to deal with herself.Wu Fei remembered that she was in a hurry and couldn't find anything else, so she had to use her own sleeve to help Yang Xiaoning wipe his snot from crying. After wiping, she felt a little pity for her own sleeve.

According to common sense, as long as the IQ index is over 40 people should be able to see that Yang Xiaoning is a big man who is about to enter the "30s". Of course, Wu Fei's IQ index is more than 40, but she herself can't tell, what is the driving force that keeps her refusing to face those clues that come and go.Yeah, that "sob" certainly wasn't the only thing Yang Xiaoning showed during that time. However, perhaps only lucky women like to challenge love with sensitivity from time to time, while unlucky women can only instinctively pretend to be dull to protect love.Wu Fei is very unfortunate, she became the unlucky type when she first fell in love.

For Yang Xiaoning, the consequences of the incident were probably not so serious, because, after all, he was the one who took the initiative to choose, and he was the one who left Wu Fei without saying goodbye.Or, more strictly speaking, it's not "farewell without saying goodbye", he just used a farewell method that he thinks is quite modern, that is, he disappeared without saying anything.Yang Xiaoning remembers that when he was in college, he participated in military training. During the military training, the instructor told them a form of dismissal called "dismissal without salute".This "dismissal without salute" means that when everyone feels that the training is about to end, there is no need to make a special salute or anything else, and they will immediately disperse tacitly.Yang Xiaoning likes to disband like this very much. From the very beginning, he feels that this is a very humane way of saying goodbye, which is relaxed and modern.Yes, Comrade Yang Xiaoning, who was born in the late 1960s when it had nothing to do with modernity, after 30 years of modesty, was finally "modern" on the eve of his marriage - he applied the skills he learned in military training to reality Acted it out in real life, "disbanded without salute" with his last-to-last girlfriend before marriage-even shed tears for this, who can say that this is not a very sincere expression?

However, Wu Fei's memory of all these was always different. She stubbornly believed that Yang Xiaoning was just "on a business trip".Although time proved that he never came back, and there were no casualties.But this couldn't stop Wu Fei from desperately imagining all kinds of unspeakable reasons for Yang Xiaoning. Among those reasons, Yang Xiaoning, who belonged to her, had no intention of really leaving her at all. The only result of this imagining was to give her more reason to grieve for a long time. Wu Fei's unexpected grief at that time made many people around couldn't help but relish predicting the time when she would let go of him.Some say three months, some say one year, some say one year and three months.

At that time, Wu Fei's classmate Chen Lanlan estimated the longest: three years! It was the autumn of 1994. Chen Lanlan said that when Hong Kong returned to China, Wu Fei would completely forget about Yang Xiaoning. Chen Lanlan can't say what this has to do with the return of Hong Kong. Anyway, in all things in the world, they must be divided for a long time, and they must be united for a long time. If even Hong Kong is returned, she, Wu Fei, should let Yang Xiaoning in her heart Ashes! Everyone thinks that Chen Lanlan's analysis is quite authoritative. One is because she is Wu Fei's best classmate. She has the right to speak; secondly, and more importantly, at the critical moment, Chen Lanlan has such a deep understanding of righteousness, and can skillfully connect major national events and personal grievances in such an unexpected way, which is amazing!Naturally, no one could think of any reason to refute.

Only Wu Fei felt quite hopeless. Yes, for young people like Wu Fei's age, "three years" is really too long, it is simply "endless". Moreover, Wu Fei had just started to suffer from a broken relationship, which was her first broken relationship, and of course she couldn't do it again, so she was tortured to the point of fascination.And suppose the bewildered pain lasts for three years!Wu Fei thought that she didn't even have the ability to "imagine" it, let alone "bear it". However, later, time passed little by little, three years after another, Wu Fei finally understood why there were only two kinds of people left in the adult world: one was blind and ignored the painful lessons The "artist" who preaches love; the other is the non-artist who wakes up to a painful lesson and refuses to believe in love ever since. When a person insists on refusing to face the fact of "loss", "loss" will become a kind of death penalty; if the person who is experiencing "loss" has no ability to use "art" to resolve or vent, he can only Waiting for myself to be delayed by the pain of loss. Therefore, most ordinary people who are aware of current affairs have adopted the practice of refusing to fall in love as much as possible in order to be able to continue to live a normal life free from pain. Wu Fei is also one of the many ordinary people, so she also chose this relatively common and practical way of explaining it - using her clumsy method to painstakingly forget. The process of forgetting is indeed not easy, and what's worse is that they still have many mutual friends.Friends are constantly using their own understanding to show their intelligence and wisdom to other people's affairs, like the song that Lin Yilian sang at that time "I heard from my friends..." Let’s be honest, if you want to say, “friends” are really superfluous when a person breaks up in love. The more friends you have, the less happy you are to lose them! In short, regarding the inside story of Yang Xiaoning's love affair, Wu Fei heard various versions intermittently from different people's different narrations, and she used her own imagination to piece together a roughly complete story.Although in other people's narration, it seems that it should be her story, but at the same time it seems to be a pure story that has nothing to do with her. The public is generally prone to sympathize with the weak, and those who are passively eliminated are of course more qualified to be the weak.Many of their common friends at the time stood on Wu Fei's side with a righteous attitude.The days went on non-stop, and while everyone was entertaining a friend's gossip, Wu Fei also got the entertainment she deserved.However, no matter how much superficial sympathy she has won, Wu Fei is enduring the pain every minute by herself. Just like everyone's lovelorn, it is real, and there is no secret recipe. This story has been lingering on and on for a full ten years, and after filtering out all kinds of prejudices, there is nothing strange about the reason for Yang Xiaoning's love change.It was just an "empathy" that wasn't even a "betrayal".Basically, Yang Xiaoning met another woman after getting along with Wu Fei for more than a year. After various chances, somehow, he and her also fell in love.That woman is said to be a cadre of an important institution.The person in charge seemed to be a certain metal distribution that was in short supply at that time.Wu Fei couldn't figure out what metal could be more important to her "love than gold" love.In her opinion, the things that the female cadres care about are all things that are thousands of miles away from real life. They can neither eat nor play.Obviously Yang Xiaoning is much more knowledgeable than Wu Fei.So, later, Yang Xiaoning quickly made a decision and married this female cadre.Just before the wedding, he told Wu Fei that he was going on a business trip, saying that he would travel a long way.In this matter, if we had to find a reason for everyone to criticize, that is, the woman who was married was a female cadre, and she held the right that could be quickly transformed into wealth at that time. "Abandoning civilian heirs for a female cadre" is a saying that allows everyone to find "emotional catharsis" in it. Wu Fei spent the first three years wondering why the ordinary Yang Xiaoning fell in love with a female cadre, and spent the middle three years wondering why a female cadre fell in love with the ordinary Yang Xiaoning. In the following three years, every time someone mentioned this matter, Wu Fei, who finally got used to being the "participant", was duty-bound to pretend that an adult should be open-minded: "Hey, at that time, under the influence of the tide of reform, for the sake of career, anyone would make that choice. I quite understand him. Men, career is the most important thing!" On the surface, she has already completed the transition from weak to human, speaking official Chinese without oil or salt, with a face of understanding and righteousness, and did not disappoint the audience.But, no matter what she said to others in the end, what Wu Fei couldn't let go of in her heart was that this passive breakup with Yang Xiaoning would continue to affect her with a silent force after so long. It was a power that even she didn't want to believe, but unfortunately that power really existed. In the past ten years, Wu Fei has also designed many times in her heart that she and Yang Xiaoning reunite. The scenes are varied and can basically reflect Wu Fei's personal mental journey from one side.From the beginning when the prodigal son of Yang Xiaoning turned around and they embraced and wept together, they finally became a fruit, and then, slowly, finally she no longer imagined meeting him again, but each had their own lives.But no matter what, in her imagination, Yang Xiaoning always languishes in the condemnation of conscience, seeing that she is living a better life than him. Wu Fei is just an ordinary person. In most cases, she hopes that her life will be better than that of her ex-lover. Occasionally, she will show kindness when she encounters difficulties. At best, it is nothing more than "as long as everyone lives equally well." "As long as your life is better than mine" is an idealized legend. When Mr. Xiaochong wrote this song, he probably underestimated how many resentful men and women there are in the world.