Chapter 11 Section ten

That day, I was decocting medicine again, and the medicine soup boiled and came out of the opened lid. I was in a daze for some reason, but I didn't notice it, and immediately received a hard blow on the top of my head. "Damn girl, how dare you negotiate terms with me!" Uncle scolded me viciously, "I've invited you the doctor you want, if you play tricks on me, you'll see me!" I turned my head and saw him talking arrogantly with a cigarette in his mouth. I really wanted to pull out his cigarette and stuff it into his mouth.He hit me so hard that my head was dizzy from the pain, but I gave him a nasty look.I'm not afraid of him, really.I just can't bear grandma.

"Tell me, where is the money?" he asked me. "Take good care of grandma's illness, and I will tell you naturally." "You!" He took the cigarette butt out of his mouth, pointed at me and said, "Do you know that you are not far from death?" I stubbornly turned my head away from him. Die or die.If grandma is dead, what else do I have to live on? I am not afraid. To my surprise, instead of bothering me again, he turned around and walked away.After a while, I quietly went to grandma's room to see if he really found a doctor for grandma. When I sneaked into grandma's room, it had already been decorated: yellow and red paper was pasted everywhere , eccentric.As soon as I walked in, I kept coughing, because the pinch of incense on the cabinet was too smoky. I walked up to help grandma fan the fan, but was stopped by a person.

"Come down!" It was my uncle.Through the smoke, I saw him looking at me fiercely. I staggered a few steps, and found that sitting on the pedal was a doctor, clearly a witch.She crossed her legs and sat on a straw mat, looking at me fiercely. I obediently withdrew. She knelt there with her head down, chanting words. I was a little scared, and my eyes hurt, so I could only squat down and rub my eyes non-stop.Uncle put his ear close to her, and she whispered into his ear.I saw my uncle nodding his head and grandma lying motionless on the bed, but her cheekbones were smeared with red chicken blood.I feel like my heart is breaking for what they've done to her, but there's nothing I can do.

I don't know how long they have been messing around, but the sorceress finally left.Before leaving, she handed two big paper bags to my uncle. It was strange, and she even pointed at me. As soon as the witch left, the uncle walked in angrily.He grabbed me and yelled, "It's all you! I knew it was you!" He threw me on the corner of the table, and my waist was hit hard, causing me to squat down in pain.He continued to kick me, took out a wooden stick from the corner of the wall, and hit my back all at once. I lay on the ground and tried to escape, but the wooden stick hit my back one after another.While beating, he also shouted: "Nemesis! Evil Seed! Nemesis! Evil Seed!"

I finally got up reluctantly, climbed to grandma's room, and locked the door from the inside.I rushed to grandma's bed, and grandma stretched out her trembling hand and put it on my back.I cried loudly, but I couldn't hide my uncle's roar from outside the door: "Nonsense! The half-immortal said, you are not the true seed of the Ma family! You can kill your father and your mother, and then you can kill your mother!" Old woman, you are going to kill me in the next step!!! Get out of here, I’m not human if I don’t kill you today!” The uncle snarled and kicked the door vigorously, and I was so scared that I grabbed my grandmother body.

Grandma's breath was weak, and her voice seemed to come from her throat: "Ma Zhuo, Ma Zhuo, Ma Zhuo..." She couldn't make any sound except calling my name, and I cried hoarsely, and didn't want to stop at all . I don't know how long it took, but it was finally quiet outside, and I was tired from crying.Grandma lay there, motionless.I stood up abruptly and went to the kitchen to get grandma a basin of water. I only had one thought, to wipe my face clean for grandma.My whole body hurts, and the hand holding the basin is shaking.I don't know if I will die before grandma.Life and death are not unfamiliar words to the nine-year-old me.Who am I to blame?Maybe, I am really the nemesis, the nemesis of the Ma family, the nemesis of mother, and the nemesis of everyone.I hugged the basin of water that was shaking three times, and the setting sun dragged my shadow like a long belt.I struggled to get to grandma's room and wiped the chicken blood off her face.I saw her eyes in the setting sun, and the fog above them seemed to be a little more dignified, even more dignified than the fog in Ya'an's spring morning.Her hand gently took my hand, but her eyes were extremely empty.

I suddenly remembered the song she used to sing to me when I was a child.I tried to hum, but she opened her eyes again, gently pressed her hand on mine, moved the corner of her mouth, and actually smiled. Then I heard her say: "Ma Zhuo, you go, the farther you go, the better." After saying this, she seemed to fall asleep again. I lay on my grandmother's bed and slept until midnight when my uncle came back.He pushed open the door that was originally ajar, grabbed me, and said to me: "At least you are not dead." Then, he dragged me to the main room.I saw the two packets of paper, a bottle of soju, and an empty bowl on the table.

"What do you want to do?" I asked as I stepped back, but he pushed me down on the stool brutally. "Sit down!" He said as he unscrewed the shochu, poured out half of the bowl, and opened the paper bag—a bag of stuff like cotton wool, and a bag of powder like incense ash, and he poured them all into the bowl , stirred it with my index finger, pulled my mouth away, and poured it down without any explanation. The strong wine passed through my throat, as if cutting my throat, I struggled hard, drank half of it, the unmelted incense ash choked me, I coughed violently, my uncle put down the bowl, slapped me again, Continue to pour.

I finally drank everything.The uncle sighed contentedly, and said, "Shock the demon in your heart." My world was spinning, but I still couldn't control the feeling of vomiting.I ran out the door, and it started to rain again. I tripped in the yard, held onto the old pagoda tree, and vomited hard. I heard the door behind me being slammed shut. My uncle stood at the window and yelled at me: "You are only allowed to enter the door tomorrow!" I vomited upside down.The neighbor's dog didn't know what was going on, and whimpered too.I lean against the old locust tree, and the raindrops can temporarily stop hitting me.Tears welled up in my eyes, sadness, pain, hatred, which one can describe my mood?Why didn't I let Anan take me away that day?This way I won't sleep under the locust tree like a dog.Ma Zhuo, an orphan, at least has a home.No, Anan can't take me away.I'll beat him, won't I?Ma Zhuo, an orphan, is a girl with a devil living in her heart.I scratched my chest, hoping the devil would hear me.I just want him to get out of my body, disappear, and punish other kids.Orphan Marjo has had enough.

In the beginning, I kept crying while looking at the window with the light on, but then, when the light went out, I stopped crying.Because of the effect of alcohol, I was extremely weak after vomiting, so I gradually fell asleep.Although my whole body is full of pain, but this night, because of the alcohol, I am not afraid to face the dark. At dawn, when I opened my eyes, my whole body was sore, and my head was about to crack.At this moment, I heard music coming from the room. I have heard that music before. It is the music of death, the music of farewell. The expressionless uncle, he didn't stop me, turned around and went in as if he didn't see me.

I rushed into grandma's room. I shook her desperately and called her name, but she didn't answer me again. she died.died. When grandma died, she still had a smile on her face, just like the smile she had when she heard me sing.I think she must have met the God she most wants to see now.When she was alive, she always begged the gods to give her a dream and tell her when she could be saved and go to another world to meet her favorite son.Now, she finally got her wish. But Uncle doesn't think so.Pointing to the grandma who was carried to the ground in the middle of the main room, he said to me: "Look, she died happily when you were not in the room." I didn't even have the energy to stare at him. That night, my uncle called people back to play cards again, and they would play all night, and everyone here kept their spirits in this way.Grandma's coffin hadn't been brought back yet, so she could only lie on the straw mat, the smile on her face still lingering, like a riddle that I couldn't figure out anyway. Uncle thought that my inner demons had been eliminated, so he allowed me to enter the house.He placed the card table far away from the straw mat, and I was the only one kneeling beside grandma to burn paper for her. In the middle of the night, I was still on my knees.I don't know why, I didn't sleep, I burned the paper tirelessly, and burned the whole stack of paper.I could only walk up to my uncle and ask him, "Is there any more paper?" My uncle looked back at me, he was smoking a cigarette, squinting his eyes, without any sad expression on his face.He just hit me on the head with a poker, and joked to his gamblers: "Do you think this kid has recruited a ghost?" I didn't wait a moment this time, I grabbed the poker from his hand and tore it to pieces, throwing it in his face.He never expected that I would be like this. He cursed loudly in anger, then simply pulled out the cigarette butt from his mouth, and pressed it hard on my arm.I was only wearing a single shirt that day, and it seemed that a piece of flesh had been dug out of my arm. I struggled instinctively, but his strength was too great, and the cigarette butt burned even deeper, as if it was going to burn through my bones.I continued to scream and struggle, and finally escaped from his grasp. I could only run towards my grandma's body.I know that grandma is dead, and no one can save me anymore.My tears flowed out.After my grandma died, I didn't cry until the moment I realized that I had lost all protection—what a selfish child I was, how selfish! If I leave grandma, God will punish grandma for leaving me, so why should I complain? At this moment, I was once again defeated by my own questioning. I was weeping blankly, and I knelt beside the corpse and lost the strength to move.I was waiting for the stick and the punch, but it didn't come.I just waited until my uncle picked me up from the ground, lifted me high in the air, and walked to the high threshold. He kicked open the door, loosened me on the ground like a chicken, and quickly closed the door behind him. "Go away!" His sonorous voice made me tremble slightly in the dark. I know it's over. I dragged my wounds and left the home where I was born and raised for nine years. I didn't know that leaving would mean leaving forever.Since that time, I have never stepped into this house again.I really "rolled off" as my uncle said. But, who can tell me, where should I go?