Chapter 10 Section IX

After handling her funeral, Anan sent me back to my hometown. Follow us home, and my father's portrait.Anan packed it in a cardboard box and carried it carefully.The other hand was full of gifts he brought to grandma. I always feel that it is not good for him to carry Dad's portrait like this, but I can't say what is wrong.We got in the car, Anan asked me: "Ma Zhuo, do you miss grandma?" I didn't speak, just stared at the glass on the car window, the rain slipped from the bottom of my heart like teardrops.I am at a loss again, I don't know what is right and what is wrong, what is missing, and what is hating.

The car drove much faster than I expected, and we soon arrived at the long-distance bus station in Ya'an.When I got out of the station, I found that it was raining as usual.The whole city became extremely humid and hazy under the usual light rain. I am back again. Like nothing happened. But I know that everything has happened, and no matter how hard I try, I can't go back to the past. The taxi stopped at the door of our house. Anan and I got out of the car and walked to the door step by step, but I didn't dare to go forward.Anan was holding things in both hands, so he could only pouted at me and said, "Is it in front?" I mustered up my courage and stretched out my hand to push open the red door, but I didn't see the person who always sits at the door of the main room peeling beans. grandmother.

"Who is it!" It was my uncle's voice, he appeared at the door of the main room with an empty bowl in his hand, saw me, and said incredulously: "Ma Zhuo?" I subconsciously took a step back. Anan supported me beside me, he handed my father's photo into my hand, put the gift on the ground in the yard, smiled and said to my uncle: "I'll bring Ma Zhuo back to you." "Lin Guoguo is really dead?" the uncle said, "Where's the money?" Anan took out a thick cloth bag from his underwear pocket and handed it to his uncle. Inside was all the money she had left: 27,000 yuan in cash.

Her house is rented, and the lease term has not expired, but the money has not been refunded. The uncle snatched the money and counted it down. Anan took me to sit down in the main room.I went back to this dark and damp home again, and it was strange that I was greedy for the musty smell that had lingered in the house for years.I kept taking deep breaths, and I finally realized that I still miss this place, like missing the only rusty swing in the kindergarten. I suddenly thought of grandma, why didn't I see her?I got up and jumped into her room and found her lying on the bed. I walked up the high steps and touched the bed with my hands, but unexpectedly the bed was hot.Grandma turned her head slowly.I was startled, and subconsciously retracted my hand.

Her face was as yellow as the skin of a melon, so thin, but without a trace of luster.She still wore the silver earrings that she refused to take off for the rest of her life. They had always seemed to be covered with mud and blackened, and now the blackness was even heavier.Her eyeballs seemed to be covered with a layer of white gauze, she opened her eyes and looked at me for a long time, then moved her lips, and said to me angrily: "Ma Zhuo, help grandma... drive away the flies, grandma I can't lift my hands." Her voice was very strange, as if it was forced out of her throat with great effort.Then it evaporates in the air lightly, and no more can be found.

I stood on tiptoe, stretched out my arms and fanned vigorously, and two flies that kept dancing in the mosquito net reluctantly flew out. "Good boy." She said these three words with great effort, and then closed her eyes heavily, as if she never wanted to wake up. I walked to the cabinet, and the Tibetan medicinal materials piled up into a hill exuded a strong smell, bitter and astringent. It turned out that grandma was sick. When I walked out the door, my uncle was squatting on the threshold smoking a cigarette, and Anan was sitting on the small stool at the door—the same stool that grandma used to sit on to peel beans.

Anan saw me and beckoned me to pass.I walked over, Anan said to me: "Ma Zhuo, I'm leaving right away, I'll come see you later..." "There must be more than that much money," my uncle impatiently put out his cigarette butt, stood up and patted my butt, pulled me aside and said rudely: "How much money did your mother leave behind? Don't be stupid and let others take it." It's cheaper to go!" At that moment, I really wanted to kick my uncle. Anan didn't know if he heard it, but he slightly bowed to him and said, "Ma Zhuo is handed over to you."

After speaking, he left.He didn't bring an umbrella and his hair was slightly damp.When he got to the door, he turned his head and waved to me.In the rain in Ya'an City, he said goodbye to me and disappeared. The days are back to the beginning.Back at this home, my heart seems to have finally returned to its original place, and I can finally be at peace, but it seems that I can't be at peace for a moment.After Anan left that day, my uncle turned around and threw all the clothes Lin Guoguo had bought for me into the stove, as well as my new schoolbag, but he didn't throw away the malted milk that Anan gave grandma.While throwing those things, he scolded me viciously: "Now you're happy! You were tricked by that stinky bitch, and you're back?! You're a bitch like your mother, who wanted to be a master, but ended up dying Uglier than a dog!"

I let him scold, indifferent.I found out later that grandma fell ill less than a month after I left.I still don't have an aunt.My uncle is idle and has been in jail for two years for stealing, yet no girl here is willing to marry him.He has a violent personality and loves to gamble.When grandma was not ill, he did nothing but ask grandma for money. In the days after I came back, he started gambling every day again.I was in charge of cooking, and he put out a bottle of soju, dug some kimchi from the jar, and ate it with rice. After eating, he threw the rice bowl to me and ordered me to cook the medicine.And he himself, except for the poker game.Drink when you lose, swear after drinking, or just sleep.Judging by his appearance, it is estimated that there is not much left of the more than 20,000 yuan.However, he just refused to spend a penny to send grandma to the hospital to see a doctor.

One day when I was having dinner, I said to him, "Can you go to the vegetable market and buy some fish to give grandma a boost." "Damn it." He actually threw the bowl on the ground, "If you didn't run away with your damn mother, my mother, your grandma would be so sick?" I threw away the bowls and chopsticks and bent down to pick up the debris on the ground.But he took the opportunity to kick me in the back, my hands landed on the ground, and the fragments on the ground pierced into my palms, my whole body trembled in pain, but I bit down and pressed silently.

He was still clamoring: "I want you to teach me to be filial!" "Stop shouting! It's all my sin!" Grandma uttered this cry after holding back her strength for an unknown amount of time in the room. I immediately got up from the ground and rushed into the room.I took grandma's hand and pressed it to my face, and the tears couldn't help but flow down. Grandma moved her fingers, trying to wipe away my tears. I simply covered my face with her palm and cried like hell. God knows, I just can't bear grandma.She is the only person I have depended on for nine years. If something happens to grandma, I don't want to live anymore.I took good care of my grandma, and what I do every day is still decocting medicine, cooking, and doing laundry.I know those medicines are of no use to grandma's illness, and I should take her to a big hospital in the city.But I know that my uncle will never be willing to pay this money. All I can do is to do what my grandma used to do, no matter whether it rains or not, kneeling in the yard day after day, praying devoutly to the never-changing gray sky of Rain City. I decided to lie to him. In the evening, I went to his room again. He didn't drink alcohol and seemed to be in a good mood.Seeing me go in, she rolled her eyes at me and said, "What's the matter?" "Do you want money?" I asked him. He rolled his eyes and looked at me and said, "So what?" After finishing speaking, he suddenly realized, stepped forward and grabbed my collar and shouted loudly: "Say, did you hide all your mother's money?" Woke up?" "No," I said, "but I know where the money is." "Where?" he asked viciously. "You see grandma. I'll tell you." He stared at me with wide eyes, and said to me in a tone that wanted to scare me but I wasn't scared at all: "If you dare to lie to me, I will make you die worse than your mother Be ugly!" "Believe it or not." I met his eyes, bravely said this, and walked out of his room.