Chapter 21 7.

7. After that, it only took two months for Astro Boy to become a complete mess among the hooligans in that area.But he never talked about this with Sansan, and Sansan never asked about his life, as if she didn't care or care.Sometimes he had a crack on the bridge of his nose that was just about to heal, sometimes his lower lip was swollen, and the worst one was a month-long bandage on his finger. "It doesn't matter, I was interrupted by my father when I was young." He always looked as if nothing had happened, as if his finger was just scratched or a bump on his forehead, and he continued to ride his bike one-handed.It is said that his battle of fame broke his finger.He fought with a group of people from the catering class of the vocational school next door on the construction site outside the game room. As a result, when he hit someone with a water hose that he carried with him, he hit the nearby cement and broke two fingers on his right hand.But even in this case, he still held on to the hose, and drove the sharpened end into the arm of the most savage of them all.Because the other group was already well-known in that area at that time, many male students in the lower grades in the school were blocked in the alley, slapped and robbed of money, so the story of Astro Boy was immediately spread.After it was passed on, it completely changed, and various versions were produced.Some people said that the person was sent to the hospital with the water pipe stuck in his arm, and some people said that Astro Boy had worshiped his master when he was in the juvenile prison. They seldom appeared near the game room, and they said that they moved to the place next to the Suzhou Creek where pirated discs were sold, so no one would talk about that again.After the plaster and bandage on Astro Boy's hand were removed, the middle finger could no longer be straightened.

Sansan pointed to his finger and said, "Your finger is crooked." And he didn't talk about those things with her again, as if he wanted to close his own world to her and exclude her.Did he know that if she got involved in all this again, she would regret it in the end?Does he know the contradictions in her heart?Being timid and unwilling to be confused and moving forward bravely, it is still because of the past that made them all silent.How long had it been since he'd run and kill like crazy on those crooked little streets?He wants to make up for the wasted time in the juvenile prison, but can he still run back to the time when the river was dirty and the trees were lush?Will he take her with him again?Does he still have the courage?

During the 800-meter running test in the last physical education class before school that day, when Sansan ran around the track for the second lap, she suddenly saw the group of low-grade girls who were moving freely in the open space and swarmed towards the school gate chattering. .When she was panting and lying on the horizontal bar next to the pine and cypress trees at the finish line, even the boys from the lower grades who were playing basketball in the small playground rushed to the school gate.She still had difficulty breathing, her legs were as soft as sour apples, and even her teeth seemed to have been completely loose, and the bloody smell from her lungs was constantly exuding from her mouth.This was her last long-distance run in middle school.She hated long-distance running, and every time she ran to the last lap, she seemed to be dead.No one can be seen in front of the runway, and I am so lonely that no one will know if I am dead.Now, when she dragged her body like a sack and walked towards the toilet against those jubilant classmates, she heard a few girls whose faces were red from running and being happy talking loudly:

"Look, Astro Boy is here again." "Yes, I heard that his girlfriend is in the third year of high school in our school." "It's so grand! It would be so grand to be his girlfriend." Sansan suddenly couldn't walk.She didn't dare to look towards the school gate, but she didn't know where to hide.Only then did she know that Astro Boy had become so famous.First, the hooligans at the school gate talked about Astro Boy with their girlfriends showing off, as if it was a great honor to have a relationship with him, and then their girlfriends and close friends in the class quietly went to the toilet and back garden Talking about Astro Boy with the bicycle shed, and finally almost everyone in the school knew that the name of the little hooligan who often stood at the school gate was Astro Boy.When the hordes of girls passed by him, they couldn't help but cover their mouths and smile to attract his attention, and the boys all wanted to imitate him pushing a broken bicycle.However, no one can imitate his appearance.Sansan knew that if he really wanted to fight, no one could beat him, because he was not afraid of death at all, and he acted so recklessly as if no one could hurt him.Two boys from the next class who passed by her clapped the basketball in their hands and bumped into Sansan's shoulder. They took a look at her and suddenly said behind her: "It's her, it's her." Go quickly to the teaching building.Her hands and feet were numb, like a person being wound up, rushed into the classroom, frantically stuffed books and test papers into her bag, passed the carport, walked around the back garden and escaped from the school's back door.She took a long detour, and the small roads behind the school had twists and turns so similar that she almost lost her way.She rode the bike very fast, but she realized again that she didn't want to repeat the same mistakes again, she didn't want to become the one who was known to the whole school, even the physical education teacher and the janitor. Very good female student.She likes what she is like now. The English teacher has been teaching her for two years and still can't figure out the name of her and another female classmate. No male classmates talk about the size of the underwear she wears behind her back. The teacher will never take the initiative to talk to her at the parent meeting. Mom and Dad talk.She hated the limelight and preferred to hunched over and hid.She doesn't care if she is a so-called special girl.Especially only used to describe girls who are not pretty.She no longer cared about not being recognized in a crowd.She was scared, and she didn't want to get involved in anything related to Astro Boy, it was a conspiracy, a trap, a trap.Her hands on the handlebars trembled slightly.She wanted to hide, just like the little girl who hid under the window of the old house on Wanhangdu Road when she was a child, like the little girl who escaped from the bathtub when there was a thunderstorm.She is not the kind of person that Astro Boy thought, she should not be his accomplice and his partner.She wanted to get rid of him, she wanted to get rid of him all the time, get rid of that crazy pleasure.Oh my God, what was her hope?What is she hoping for?The uncontrollable feeling made the faucet of her car sway, and the scooter brushed up behind her was desperately blowing black smoke and honking the horn.She's so sick of it all.

She locked the car in the carport downstairs of her house, not paying attention to the eyes silently watching her behind her. "Hey, why do you always hide from me? You know you can't hide from me." She never told Astro Boy where she lived, she always kept her secret, just like he had his.But now he crossed that line.In elementary school, every time her arm crossed the 38 line on the desk, her obnoxious deskmate would mercilessly stab her elbow with a pencil, and she fought back every time.In the end, the two of them pinched each other's arms with their nails until one of them couldn't hold back and begged for forgiveness in a low voice, but she was never the one to beg for forgiveness, even though there was a long string of bruises on her arm that was pinched out piece.So, now she stares at Astro Boy angrily.He stood against the light from the street lamp, leaving only a outlined outline.She just wanted to rush up and slap him hard.Why can he disrupt her life again with such recklessness?Why is he so self-righteous as if the world is his and he can come in and out as he pleases?Will he be afraid?Is there anything that can hurt him?She really wanted to pierce his softest spot, if he had one.But she hated him, she hated him for looking so calm, invulnerable to swords and guns.

"You are really famous." She wanted to sarcasm him but couldn't find the right words. "What does this have to do with you?" He pulled her arm out of the carport. Sansan is very afraid of running into her parents who just got off work here.They must not recognize Astro Boy anymore, but it doesn't matter to them who the boy is. They check her diary and look at any small pieces of paper in her schoolbag that they haven't torn off in time just to be on guard. A boy took her away.So she lowered her head and walked along the shadows of the trees in the corner, getting very close to Astro Boy.They walked to the cigarette paper shop at the intersection. Astro Boy bought himself a bottle of Tsingtao beer and handed Sansan a small bottle of Coke. With the remaining change, he bought soft-shelled Peony cigarettes and stuffed them in his pockets.He leaned against the paulownia tree next to him in a very young and Dangerous posture.It's almost April and these trees with their huge leaves are about to burst into fragrant blooms.Sansan didn't wear glasses, so she couldn't see Astro Boy's expression clearly, but repeatedly bit the straw in the Coke bottle.Now that she has calmed down, looking at the flickering neon lights on the road, she suddenly feels exhausted. She no longer wants to do test papers, and she no longer wants to look at those bad scores and be disappointed in herself.Will going to college really make a difference?What if they are deceiving?Why can't I breathe?Why is it like being trapped in an airtight room and unable to breathe?

"Be my girlfriend." Astro Boy's eyes were bright, and he said suddenly, "I will make good money in the future. I want to be with you. I like to listen to you and talk to you. We will be together Yes. If I have money, I will buy a lot of novel books for you to read. If I have more money, I will use it to open a bookstore for you. You don’t have to worry about anything. You continue to study at your university, and I will also go to night school .We can get married later. I promise you, I will be a very good person. I really want to be a very good person." Sansan listened to him silently.At that time, she didn't know that no one would look forward to the future with her like this, talking about what kind of house we would live in, what color our bed sheets would be, and we would raise a big dog to play with the children We us we, these deceiving sweet words.Thinking about it now, she might regret it, why didn't she believe in these sweet words like an ordinary eighteen-year-old girl, and talk about a love that ended without a problem like Helen?Everyone else has love, but she doesn't, she's just a half-stupid adolescence, and once she misses that time, she never hears such sweet talk again.Those adults don't talk like this, because they are all cautious and afraid of throwing too much burden on each other.This is true, so Sansan never had a chance to enjoy a sweet love later.

She clearly remembered that after listening to these words that day, she bit the straw hard to suck the Coke bottle to the bottom, and said, "Impossible." "why?" "It's the end of the two of us being together, and I don't want to end with you." "I would never say something that really hurt you like this." Astro Boy almost jumped up, his every pore was breathing fire. For a moment, Sansan felt that his fist was about to hit her face, but she just blinked her eyes reflexively. "What can you say?" "Do you want to hear it? Do you want to hear me tell that story again? Have you forgotten? Why don't you ever mention Lin Yueyuan's name to me? I know you want to ask me, as if I also Want to ask you, but neither of us talked about it anymore, do you know why? You can always hate me as a murderer, if you can feel better, but are you really better? "

What is he talking about? What is he talking about? For so long, she didn't hear Lin Yueyuan's name read from another person's mouth.It's really been too long, so long that it seems that her memories are all fake and deceitful. There has never been a little boy named Lin Yueyuan who secretly talked to her in the natural knowledge class, bringing her memories from the beginning to the end. She jumped off the wall of the children's playground.But now that Astro Boy said his name, it was as if he was holding her hand and walking into the wet and white mist again.Everyone hid that time from her, and although she tried hard to recall it, what's the point of those memories that were fabricated and embellished by excessive imagination?She didn't want to listen anymore, she wanted to cover her ears tightly.There is a cool wind blowing in this damn April weather, she hates the coming summer, she hopes that time will stop forever in those foggy winters or simply skip the damned summer until the fall when the roses are rotten.She couldn't think of Xia Tian when she was twelve years old. When she had a headache, it was as if someone was jumping a rubber band with her fragile nerves in her head, and there was a childish voice shouting: Malan flower, Malan flower, the wind blows the rain Not afraid.Her heart was pounding, as if her throat was dry when the lie was exposed when she was a child, and she couldn't utter a word, so she wanted to go home immediately and never see Astro Boy again.Let's hope it's just a nightmare.Why wasn't Lin Yueyuan the person she met? Why couldn't she see Lin Yueyuan grown up?Time is cruel as hell.When her memory became more blurred, she thought sadly, even if she passed Lin Yueyuan on the road, she would not be able to recognize him.

Sansan picked up her schoolbag and wanted to escape, but suddenly saw five or six figures lined up blocking the small road in front of her.She was so angry that she almost trembled, and shouted at Astro Boy hysterically: "Send away your cronies, don't come to me again." But the street lamp was smashed and dimmed, so she didn't see the expression on Astro Boy's face Everything has changed. "Fool, run!" he yelled at her, pleading, as if she really was a hopeless moron. "You two, after all these years, you're still fooling around together." The repeater seemed to pop out from the side of the road suddenly.

Compared to the summer when he was beaten to the bum and disappeared, he seemed even more stupid and complacent when he grew up.His long freshly permed hair smelled strongly of bad-quality styling water, and he was clearly trying to look like a young model just getting started, but it was just disgusting.When he opened his mouth to speak, he revealed the gray false front tooth that was replaced by Astro Boy.This tooth looks particularly small now, like a hard stone embedded in his mouth, which makes Sansan's heart pound violently.He walked in front of Astro Boy, wearing a pair of tight Levi's jeans, with a knife stuck in the back of his buttocks, so the pocket bulged out a lot.Sansan thought it should be a switchblade knife. Probably it was this switchblade that made him courageous. He pointed at Astro Boy with a smile and said to the group of sneaky buddies behind him: "This is the famous Astro Boy, who is still eating toads." Sweet dreams of swan meat." Astro Boy didn't speak, he didn't show anger at all, he just stood with his hands down, letting the repeater pat him on the shoulder while talking.This is different from Sansan's imagination.His calm appearance made her feel confused and nervous.The air was filled with that damp smell of ready to move, and that inborn strong premonition of danger hit Sansan hard on the head again.She was so afraid of Astro Boy's so silent appearance, but he held her hand, she didn't realize when he held her hand, still so hard, almost crushed several fingers.His palms were dry, and she felt a hot and restless force from there.She could almost hear him saying inwardly: Don't worry, I won't say anything to hurt you, I won't do anything to hurt you.why don't you trust me?Can you trust me? "I don't want to do things in a sneaky way." Astro Boy said as he handed a cigarette to the repeater. Whether the repeater is picked up or not, just like the embarrassing situation he is in now.He knew that he called these buddies here today to make Astro Boy bloody. He wanted to intimidate Astro Boy before Astro Boy attacked him.He heard that Astro Boy was really frightened when he came back. He really didn't know that time would pass so fast.He was also one of those people who silently waited for Astro Boy to die.He knew that he almost died that summer evening in front of the Xinhua Bookstore.He kicked his legs wildly and desperately on the ground, and saw the leaves and the sky fall straight down.It was a fluke that he didn't die that time, so that he could fight and pick up girls and do all kinds of nasty things in the past few years.But he knew in his heart that Astro Boy would not let him go a second time.But he didn't have that kind of determination to kill me, he just took one step at a time in a daze.They lit their cigarettes with those plastic lighters they bought in the supermarket, and the repeater shivered slightly as he shielded himself from the wind with his fingers, even though he had a switchblade stuck in the back of his ass and there were five or six shit buddies behind him, He still gave people the smell of fear.There was tension and bewilderment in the smell.At that time, there were many versions about Astro Boy.They said he had been in juvenile detention because he had smashed a fire hydrant into the back of someone's head when he was fighting at a construction site when he was fourteen.When he first entered the juvenile prison, his legs were kicked and broken twice. The person who kicked and broke his legs came out before him to work as a barber. Soon after Astro Boy came out, all the fingers he used to work were broken.There is also a red carp tattooed on his back.At that time, the hooligans were still at the stage of tattooing themselves with ink, so it was very awe-inspiring to have a carp tattooed on them.Sansan doesn't know whether those legends are true or not, but she has never seen that carp, maybe she can confirm this rumor in summer when the boys are wandering shirtless in the streets, but it didn't So much time to wait until summer comes.Of course, this is all for later. "You know, I stayed in that ghost place for you for five years, so I will definitely come back to find you." Astro Boy said. At this moment, Sansan saw the repeater's hand hesitantly and frightenedly touching the back pocket of his buttocks.She suddenly thought of why Astro Boy wanted to let everyone know his name in such a high-profile manner. He was raising the banner to repeat students.In the novels she had read, the little hooligans had their own gangs, and even the smallest gangs had their own flags, and Astro Boy was also the boy who proudly held the flag and wandered on the road.He wanted the damned to know that he was back, that he didn't die as they wanted, that he didn't let their selfish plans succeed.This should be something to be proud of, shouldn't it?Because growing up is so difficult, it's a blessing not to die or drown.But this pride, this pride is a great disaster.Sansan stared firmly at the repeater's hand, the right hand that was already holding the switchblade in its palm.He pressed his fingers tremblingly on the handle of the knife, still hesitating.She despised him.She remembered how frightened he was howling and crying like crazy on the ground that day, as if he had already died once.She thought of the chewing gum stuck in her hair, the ugly swim cut she'd had to cut all summer because of it, and the gaps between her teeth that bled like hell after he picked them out with a pin.She felt her body tense, and the hand that was not holding Astro Boy was still holding the empty Coke bottle tightly. Sansan couldn't remember where he threw the Coke bottle at the end.She slammed the bottle out with all her might as the repeater's hesitant fingers pulled the switchblade out of her pocket.All of this seemed to be in a dream, the muscles inside his arms were aching, and there were boos behind him, and the huge shadow followed like a dark cloud in a nightmare.Astro Boy's voice seemed to be shouting from far away: "Idiot, run, hurry up!" She seemed to be soaked in water, and her eardrums were hit by the water, and everything she saw was ethereal Phantom, the paulownia trees in front of the house were all in bloom, and after dark, the pungent fragrance lingered in the air and flowed around, and Astro Boy held her hand from beginning to end.These are all scenes from dreams.Those dreams that are chased by unknown people always wake up suddenly when they are about to die.But now?She didn't dare to look back, not knowing where they were going.This is not Wanhangdu Road or Yan's house, she doesn't know any of the streets here, so she can only run desperately with Astro Boy.Those screams were strangled in the throat and could not make a sound, the lungs were burning, the eye sockets were wet, and the arms and legs waving desperately seemed to have been separated from the body, but the feeling of madness swarming out of the body was really amazing. People are afraid.She was really afraid that she would never be able to stop. She ran until her feet cramped and ran to respiratory failure, but she still had to run like a marionette. Finally the two of them stopped under an old pedestrian bridge.I don't know how many miles I ran or where I went. The unfamiliar bus was full of people and drove past them like heavy cans of luncheon meat. The people inside had gloomy faces. Staring at them. "Are you okay?" Astro Boy patted Sansan on the head, he always put on that protective posture. "It's okay." She panted, her throat hurt as if it was broken, and she was still in shock. "Hey, you're hurt." Astro Boy turned her face. When Sansan touched her chin with her hand, she realized that there was broken glass shards scratching her face.The glass coke bottle that was thrown out just now didn't hit the repeater's head, but exploded to pieces on an exposed downpipe.Not only her chin, but also her fingers were covered with sticky blood, but at this moment, something constantly secreted from her body and heart made her feel no pain at all.She wiped her chin repeatedly with the palm and the back of her hand, trying to wipe off the blood, but it seemed that more and more was being wiped off. It reminded her of the hygienic hygiene that she stuffed into the toilet to destroy the body when she had her first menstruation. towel.But I don't know why she wants to laugh so much, maybe because she doesn't feel the pain, or maybe because she feels very proud.She likes herself like this, she likes jumping off the wall without blinking her eyes, she likes those days of fear.She likes hopping around on one foot in the school like a brave girl with a plaster cast on herself, no one comes to help her, no one helps her, she doesn't care and never cares about it at all.How good it is now!Why was she running away from all this?Why does she have to pretend to let others like her?Why is she trying to be a top student?Why go to a prestigious university?All these shit and people who had nothing to do with her, they never really trusted her.They are all from another world, but even if her light is obscured, she is more beautiful than them, even if her heart is cowardly, she is braver than them.She is clear and bright.Her chin and palms were broken, her hair was messed up, and her shoelaces turned black when she stepped in the puddles, but she felt clear and bright for the first time. They should be scared and caught off guard. Astro Boy gave her a cigarette, and the two of them sat on the railing by the side of the road.She was wearing her school uniform over her sweatshirt and a thin woolen scarf around her neck, and she took the cigarette without thinking. "You shouldn't smoke this, but I think you'll like it. If you need something quiet to think about, this is what you need," Astro Boy said. Sansan didn't know what he would think about quietly, after all, those days that were skipped between the two of them were separated.These days are all secrets, something she can't understand and doesn't want to understand, just like she always avoids watching Astro Boy ignite the flame.She approached him, her smoked lips trembling slightly, and then she took a sip, and instead of coughing desperately like in the novel, she felt dizziness rising from her forehead.The repeater was scared, and she recalled those confused moments just now, when she lifted the Coke bottle, she clearly saw his scared eyes.Let them all be scared, she laughed.This is the feeling, when the thick smoke is exhaled from the mouth, it becomes lighter again.Smoking is not at all so dirty and depraved as Mom and Dad threaten.Dazed, how much she misses those days of running wild, the green vegetable leaves floating out of the sewer pipe of the small noodle restaurant in the alley, the jewel flowers all over the roof of Yan's house in summer, and the cloud of fiery red tiles.Damn it, damn it, she thought of this in a daze. Hey, I really still like you. But we're going to be screwed.