Chapter 7 6.

6. Changde Apartment is next to an eye hospital behind Jing'an Temple.At that time, most of my classmates lived in the dilapidated Yan family house.Although Sansan's home was on Wanhangdu Road, he had to use the public kitchen.Running from the toilet to the room has to go through a dark corridor full of debris. The rats are running around in the corridor. When there is nothing to eat, they will gnaw on the soap left outside, leaving creepy tooth marks on the soap. Not to mention that Sansan didn't have a room of her own at all, she only had a corner separated by a sofa, and in the corner was a desk connected to a bookshelf, filled with sundries and various novels.There are many photos pressed under the glass, including black and white full moon photos and group photos taken during spring and autumn outings. Because it took a long time to press, most of the photos have been tightly glued to the glass, and finally one day When it's time to move, these photos can only be thrown away with this broken desk.My mother disdains the shanty houses of Yan’s family house, and is very fond of the Changde apartment, because there are wooden floors warm in winter and cool in summer, a private kitchen with bright windows and clean windows, and even an elevator, an old-fashioned elevator that I have only seen in foreign movies. .The door is an iron fence, and it takes a lot of effort to pull it shut.The most important thing is that Zhang Ailing also lived there.Sansan had swallowed the entire book that he hid in the clothes drawer while his father was away that summer.Living in the Changde apartment is already a very remarkable thing, not to mention that I transferred from Beijing, and I have seen Tiananmen, and I have to roll my tongue at the end of every sentence.The grades are very good, and he is taller than any boy in the class.As soon as school started, he was chosen by the physical education teacher to be the goalkeeper of the football team, and then he was chosen by the team counselor to be the conductor of the school's drum team.The conductor is wearing a red uniform inlaid with gold tassels, waving a golden stick in his hand, and always walking in the forefront of the team with dignity.Sansan also participated in the drum team in the past, but every time the good drums were snatched away by other students, leaving only the broken sticks and the broken drums that could never be adjusted tightly.But there is only one conductor, and no one will compete with the conductor for the baton.

So Lin Yueyuan is really unique. Wu Xiaoyun and their group of the most beautiful girls are almost all jealous of him.One day, before morning reading class, Wu Xiaoyun suddenly started crying softly on the desk.She almost lay her whole body on the table, grasping the edge of the table with her fingers, her frail and small shoulders shrugged silently.In fact, almost everyone in the class saw that someone wrote on her desk with chalk: Ai Lin Yue Yuan, Shameless, Disgusting!But only Sansan knew who wrote it.She left the lunch box in the drawer after school the day before, and when she came back to pick it up, she happened to meet Xing Keke picking out a white chalk tip in the chalk box.But she wouldn't say it, she sat at the back of the classroom silently looking at Wu Xiaoyun's shaking body from crying, and felt very envious.She also likes Lin Yueyuan, but her name will always be associated with Astro Boy.No one will see that she likes Lin Yueyuan, no one will know.She has always been indifferent and indifferent, and she will never express her feelings.Even when she grows up, it's the same. Even if she loves someone so much that she's infatuated, that person won't even know it.

Her love has always been stillborn. So the natural knowledge class became the happiest time of Sansan that year.She still remembers the glass cases of stuffed animals, including sparrows, weasels, rabbits, deer and mysterious skulls, and the weights of the scales were placed in small velvet-lined boxes.When the students were doing plant experiments, the windowsills were full of small plastic jars with mung bean sprouts growing.Sometimes the wet cotton is turned over, and there are small snails inside for animal growth notes.Sansan is often willing to be assigned to clean up in the natural knowledge laboratory during the labor class, squatting on the ground with a broom to sweep the small balls of dust accumulated behind the skeleton.Of course, the reason why those moments were so happy and cherished was that she and Lin Yueyuan were only in a group in that class.Just the two of them sitting at the same experimental table, without Wu Xiaoyun, without the head teacher, and without Astro Boy.The two of them used pencils as trains and rulers and rubber to build tunnels.Sansan didn't care what the teacher wrote on the blackboard at all, as if her entire universe was ignited because of Lin Yueyuan.Until the teacher threw a piece of chalk straight on Sansan's forehead, and said loudly in front of the whole class: "Student Xu Jialiang, is Lin Yueyuan writing on his face? Do you know where the blackboard is?" Direction?" The teacher was elated because of the over-accurate throw of the chalk tip and the roar of laughter from the whole class, while Sansan could only lower her head and cover her forehead.Her tears filled her eyes not because of the chalk tip, but because anyone could see through her thoughts.She was terribly ashamed and terrified.She doesn't belong to their girl gang, she doesn't have a shell card or the jeans her mother bought from Hong Kong, and she likes Lin Yueyuan, they will die laughing.How could this taciturn and weird girl like Lin Yueyuan?She just felt dizzy, and refused to raise her head to speak to Lin Yueyuan for the rest of the class.

"It doesn't matter." Lin Yueyuan suddenly approached her and said. "What?" Sansan sniffed hard to suck back the snot that came out from crying. "They can't do anything to you, don't be afraid." "I'm not afraid." "Well, it doesn't matter anyway, I'm here." Never had a boy talked to Sansan so tenderly.She also seemed never to have acquired such courage.How does it feel when you like someone?It’s nothing more than feeling extreme trust in him, feeling that as long as there is his promise, there will be no difficulties in the world, just wanting to crush myself and show him time and time again, wanting to dismantle every part of myself Let him know, tell him all the little secrets.She does like him, doesn't she?That's why when dissecting the frog for the rest of the class, she mustered up the courage to face the twitching thigh frog, and plunged a thick needle into its body to destroy its bone marrow. .At that moment, she firmly believed that her eyes were black, her scalp was numb, and her whole arm was shaking because of too much tension, but she definitely didn't cry like a useless little girl.She absolutely must not show any timidity in front of Lin Yueyuan.Now that I think about it, why should I do this?Why do you always use indifference and inexplicable exaggeration to cover up your cowardice?She was obviously flustered, but she didn't want to ask for help.This is probably more or less inherited from my mother's toughness, but it is only half inherited.Her tough performance was too exaggerated, and it was completely exposed on a closer look.In front of the person she likes, she always behaves too out of line because of nervousness, her voice raises and becomes thinner unconsciously, her movements also show her teeth and claws, and she speaks quickly because of fear, so fast that the other party can't hear clearly.These bad habits have already existed since the time when he liked Lin Yueyuan.

Before get out of class was over, the two of them threw the dead frog into the trash can. Lin Yueyuan suddenly said to Sansan: "When I was studying in Beijing, the teacher asked us to plant mung bean sprouts, but I forgot mine on the desk. Inside. When I remembered, those mung bean sprouts were dead, and I was embarrassed to take it out and throw it away, so I kept it in the desk. When the student on duty found out, the whole corner of my desk was moldy Yes, the mung bean sprouts turned black." "I'm terrible. When I was young, I kept silkworms in a box containing royal jelly, but there was a mulberry leaf that I probably didn't eat well. The stool I pulled out was all muddy green. Later, my body also changed. It turned green. I didn’t dare to open that box anymore, and I kept it there for a week. When my father found it, all the silkworm babies inside were dead.”

Sansan was surprised that she actually told him this.She didn't even tell the Astro Boy about it.She couldn't remember what she said when she was with Astro Boy.The two of them didn't seem to speak most of the time, and those times were just spent wandering aimlessly in the big and small streets and alleys, playing "Contra", dazed and running away.She has never said this to anyone else, not to her parents, nor to any of the classmates in the class.She seldom speaks, as if speaking is not a need, so her mother always complains to her: "You see, other people's daughters are all thoughtful cotton sweaters, but you are a weird child who don't know what you are thinking all day long." "But now the two of them sat at the table in the corner of the laboratory, and they started talking non-stop. Sometimes they didn't even have enough mouths, so they had to write and draw in the corner of the book with a pen.

And the climax of development is that when the get out of class is about to end, Sansan mysteriously said to Lin Yueyuan: "I want to tell you a secret, but you must promise not to tell anyone else." "Well, I promise." "We hang on the hook for a hundred years and cannot change it." "There is an alley in Yan's house that is close to our school's children's paradise, and there is only a low wall separating it. I can take you to climb that low wall on Saturday afternoon. If you go by yourself, you will definitely get lost in Yan's house " She must have blushed when Sansan's little finger hooked up with his.

She felt that his fingers were as sweaty as Astro Boy's, but her heart seemed to stop for no reason.She didn't know that she was doing something very, very bad and terrible. That secret belonged to her and Astro Boy. It was a secret they both discovered together during that seemingly endless summer vacation. The top of the wall was chased down again by the nosy old man who lived next door, and it was the two of them who laughed and fled together.But at this moment, she couldn't think of Astro Boy, her eyes were only on the boy in front of her, she couldn't even concentrate at all.She was so happy at this moment, why would she want to think of other things, the name written on the blackboard, Wu Xiaoyun's new pair of jeans that wrapped her butt tightly, and Astro Boy like a nightmare?Astro Boy would not know this, she would not tell him that she could betray him so easily.Maybe she didn't care about him at all, she wouldn't be afraid of him anymore.

But once the bell rang for the end of get out of class, the carriage turned back into a tattered pumpkin, and Sansan didn't even have a glass slipper.Wu Xiaoyun ran over with her textbook to speak to Lin Yueyuan, and the two of them were going to host the National Day gala together the next day.It could be seen that Wu Xiaoyun was also nervous because of talking to Lin Yueyuan, the two patches of pink on her face became more obvious, and she pursed her lips from time to time when she was talking.She obviously didn't notice that Sansan next to her was silently packing up the train pen and tunnel ruler on the table. She would never have thought that Sansan liked Lin Yueyuan, maybe she had thought of it too, but a beautiful girl like her would never Jealous of a weird girl like Sansan.Maybe after graduation, she will forget Sansan's name and her appearance as quickly as other girls in the class, and just vaguely think of the girl who fooled around with Astro Boy when someone mentions it, and curl her lips.

"You like him, don't you?" Astro Boy came out of nowhere after class. "no." "Liar, all you girls like him." "I do not like him." "So do you like me?" "I don't like you, and I don't like Lin Yueyuan either. Go away." Sansan didn't want Lin Yueyuan to see her hanging out with Astro Boy, but she also knew that someone must have told him this.Everyone knows the notorious Astro Boy and the bad and weird skinny girl next to him.So when Sansan walked out of the laboratory, she was sad to see that Lin Yueyuan had gone away from Wu Xiaoyun.They were walking so fast that it seemed like she couldn't keep up with them, and Astro Boy stood beside her kicking a small stone on the ground.She seemed to have never been so disappointed and depressed.She knew all their girls were growing up fast.

One morning during the self-study class, Wu Xiaoyun suddenly stood up from the chair, took out a handkerchief from her schoolbag pocket and began to wipe the chair.Only then did they see that her chair was covered in blood, as if they couldn't wipe it off with a handkerchief.She wiped it for a while, then sat down again, clutching the handkerchief tightly in her hand, lying on the table and crying softly.After a while she stood up again, and the blood seemed to keep flowing out from somewhere in her body.She must have been terrified, thinking she was going to die, so she couldn't even cry very, very quietly.She wiped constantly, sat down, cried, stood up and wiped again, and continued to cry.The entire classroom was silent, and everyone just stared at her blankly.No one knew what happened, both boys and girls were very, very scared, as if someone stabbed her body hard with a knife and left a wound that would never heal, and the blood was like this Stream a stream never scars at all.Even the most hateful boys looked at her in surprise.The handkerchief was completely soiled, so she folded it and stuffed it back into the bag.They were all thinking in horror: My God, she is going to die.In the end, Wu Xiaoyun packed her schoolbag and ran out of the classroom in sadness and fear, and did not come back in the afternoon.When she ran out, the back of the white suspender skirt had some blood congealed and turned into an ugly brown color.Although Sansan didn't know what was going on until she arrived, but she was shocked that day.It was an indescribably mysterious, tinge of sweet horror, as if all the pores had been opened, and it was as if a girl who had been kept in the dark was suddenly exposed to the truth.They were all growing into real girls later on, and she wasn't.It seems that there will always be only two small walnuts in her chest.Once in an art class, a boy put a palette on her chair as a prank, and when she sat on it, all the back of her white skirt was dyed with red paint.After returning home, her mother pulled her into the bathroom in surprise and told her to take off her shorts.She thought her mother would always be disappointed, because when the other girls grew up to be real girls, she was forgotten and abandoned by them.She stays where she is, no one jumps rubber bands with her, no one befriends her, no one really wants to hear her talk or share secrets with her.She can only sit under the stage, and she is the one who sits silently in all the gala parties.What she was most afraid of was beating the drum to pass the flowers. When the hot red flower was passed to her hand, the drum stopped suddenly, and there was a dead silence around. Everyone stopped and stared at her dumbfounded, as if saying: "Oh! Oh my God, what is she going to do?" She hated the limelight, but she was utterly conflicted.If she wasn't as dazzling as Wu Xiaoyun, how could Lin Yueyuan really look at her?Sansan suddenly regretted so much, why did she say so many silly things to Lin Yueyuan just now?He wouldn't give a damn, and she'd done horrible things.She suddenly realized what a terrible and terrible thing she had just done.Her damned secret, she must have lost her head to tell such a damned secret.Now she was extremely ashamed, but there was nothing she could do, she had already crushed herself and spread it out in front of him, and if she put it together again, she would be just a disabled little person.