Chapter 2 1.

1. "Let me in, I know you're inside! Xu Sansan, open the door!" "If you have the guts, you will stay in it for the rest of your life. Open the door, Xu Sansan! If you have the guts, don't come to school tomorrow." The peeling sawdust on the old glass window frame was desperately falling down, Sansan curled up underneath, almost paralyzed with fear, only felt that her hands and feet were weak, unable to move at all, and she wanted to go to the toilet very, very much. Even my stomach hurts, and I stared at the latch on the door that was shaken constantly.Even through the thick flannel curtains, he could still feel Astro Boy desperately peeping through the cracks in the curtains and the door.She hated that the damn old house was full of holes, rats, cockroaches, and white ants came in and out of all kinds of gaps, and the window frames were shattered, as if the whole house in disrepair would not be able to withstand this madness. slapped and collapsed.What good will he do if he comes in?It was nothing more than throwing two tattered homework books with their corners curled up in front of her from the denim schoolbag that had never been washed and the zipper was broken, but she didn't want to do it anymore.I did two homeworks in the last two weeks. I purposely sharpened the tip of my pencil very thickly, imitating his handwriting and copying new words in those matts. I wrote so hard that I tore the paper and my fingers The pencil graphite was rubbed black everywhere.In this way, I often have no time to write my homework until the end, but the class teacher still sees it through.When those messy homework books were thrown on the table in front of her, Sansan felt that her face was red to the tips of her ears, her eyes were moist, and she didn't dare to raise her head.

"Wu Xiaoyun did it for me." Astro Boy told the class teacher without fear, as if what he said was the truth. "Wu Xiaoyun will help you with your homework?" The head teacher snorted. "She did it. If you don't believe me, you can ask her." He didn't care at all. "Do you want to go to the police station opposite to check your handwriting? Xu Jialiang, he is going to enter the juvenile detention center. What about you, do you plan to ask him to reserve a place for you in the juvenile detention center?" The class teacher's chest in a red sweater heaved violently. He was still exuding a pleasant scent of musk toilet water.Her fingers were as white as onions, and her hair was tied into a neat braid at the back of her head. Although she was talking to Sansan, she didn't look at her.She was only twenty-two years old that year and had just graduated from a normal school. She would read texts aloud to the music on the tape recorder in class.Sansan didn't want to see her so angry, she hoped that she could be favored by her like Wu Xiaoyun.Is not it?Several times when Wu Xiaoyun's mother sent her to school, it was too late to help her braid. The head teacher would call her to his office during morning exercises and use the colorful rubber bands in the drawer to help her braid.And every time it is tied differently, sometimes it is on the side of the head, and sometimes there is an extra red transparent satin bow.Sansan resented why she didn't have such long hair, it was piled up on her head like a pile of weeds.Her mother satirized her: "Hair looks like steel wire, and skin looks like sandpipe." She doesn't look like a girl at all. Scrambled, no bows, no pink baubles of any kind.The class teacher paid little attention to her, and only when her name was hung up again in the small box on the blackboard where she did not hand in her homework and did not observe discipline, would she curl her lips and say, "Look whose name is here again. "But none of this prevents Sansan from liking her.Once after physical education class, she went to the office to pick up her homework, but her pigtail-like braids got lost, and the teacher in charge grabbed a rubber band and tied a new braid on top of her head.In fact, her movements were not gentle, she grabbed a few strands of hair, and pulled her scalp too tightly, but Sansan was satisfied, happily wearing this weird braid, until the next morning when she woke up, she fell asleep completely. It was not reconciled to disassemble it and comb it again.The class teacher will never know this.

Astro Boy's voice outside the door has become more and more impatient, full of anger and sarcasm.Sansan sat on the ground flustered, only feeling that the pain in her stomach became more and more severe.Fear had completely overwhelmed her.Can't put Astro Boy in, she murmured to herself, close your eyes, it will pass, this is just a dream.There is no Astro Boy anymore, he has already been locked up in the juvenile detention center.He is already dead, he can no longer climb over the wall and break into the house on Wanhangdu Road, and he can no longer smash her piggy bank.Close your eyes and come on, close your eyes and he will disappear.

Astro Boy was a boy born in Yan's house.The adults who live on Wanhangdu Road probably look down on the people in Yan's house to some extent.Although Wanhangdu Road is actually a red brick house that has been in disrepair for a long time, it is leaking, damp, and moldy. In winter, the aging water pipes will be frozen so that no water can come out. Rats are infested, dust and dust in the corners. The grease in the kitchen seems to never be cleaned, but at least there are flush toilets and Narcissus brand water heaters.The people on the third floor came back from Japan, with thick gray carpets, a 25-inch color TV that was very rare at the time, and even raised a Persian cat, so it was better than the shack in Yan’s house. a lot of.My mother immediately decided that Astro Boy was the kind of uneducated boy, and deliberately said to Sansan: "Do you know what his father does? He works as a security guard in a flour mill!" She repeatedly warned against it. Fool around with any kid in Yan's house.Astro Boy has a scar on his face, which was split when his father hit his head with a broom when he was a child. After growing up, it looks like a pillow mark left when he just woke up in the morning, so he looks like Like a child who never wakes up.He was very short.He calls himself Astro Boy, but after more than ten years, no one really remembers his name.At that time, his classmates called him Astro Boy, but the adults never called him by his name, they just called him "Hello" or "Little Devil".Once, in the middle of a class, he suddenly climbed out of the window of the classroom on the second floor and jumped down.Below is the drill platform built of hard cement, empty without any shelter.He landed with a thud that felt like his bones were shattered.The classmates all exclaimed and rushed to the window to see.As a result, he patted his butt from the leading exercise platform, stood up, turned around and grinned, and limped into the flower bed next to him to catch dung beetles.No teacher was willing to take the time to take care of him. Anyway, he was going to leave sooner or later, so he was thrown in the last row, which happened to be next to Sansan.He is fierce and tirelessly holds grudges, always staring at all the people in the classroom with hatred, as if the whole world is his enemy.His heart must be as hard as a small uncrushable walnut, that's why he was able to thrive and struggle to grow up in a shanty town like Yan's house.All parents go to parent-teacher conferences, no matter how bad their kids are, and they're glad they're not Astro Boy's dad.Astro Boy only has a father, not a mother.In fact, he has a very beautiful mother, who wears tight dresses with afro hair, and sometimes picks him up at school, but divorced his father when he was very young.Not many beautiful women could bear the life in Yan's house.

Why can't I wake up from the dream?The latch was about to be shaken off, as if Astro Boy could slam the window open at any moment, step on a benchtop sewing machine under the window sill as in the past, and jump off, knocking over a pot of green turtles that Dad planted Back bamboo.Sansan couldn't breathe.She mustered all her courage to stand up, and frantically unlocked the back door with the key hanging around her neck.But she smelled the thick and salty smell of Suzhou Creek in despair.Who remembers what Suzhou Creek looked like ten years ago?In summer there are piles of rotten watermelon rinds.At night, people living in shantytowns stand by the embankment with water pipes to take a bath. There are potholes filled with dirty water everywhere on the ground, and scary things like bats flutter their wings and fly low above their heads.In the past, her mother used a bicycle to take her to a foreign language school to study English, and she rode along the Suzhou River in order to take a shortcut.At night she clings to her mother's dress and dares not open her eyes.She was worried about those damned blind bats crashing into her body, and also worried about giant water rats running around and getting run over under the wheels of bicycles.She hates reading English. The first text in 3L English was named Sandy for the boy and Sue for the girl, but she couldn't send those English words no matter what.Yes, it was only eleven years old.When she was eleven years old, she had already met Astro Boy.

"Xu Sansan, you can't run away. You have to go to school tomorrow!" Astro Boy shouted loudly while standing in the courtyard. She often wakes up in such a dream, filled with fear of tomorrow.Until she was twenty-five years old, when she struggled to wake up from the dream, she still had a sense of time and space in a trance.She could hear her heart beating furiously, and her fingers and all the nerve endings in her body gradually regained feeling.She waited for that childhood fear to wash away like a tide from her body.It is no longer in the old house on Wanhangdu Road, and there are no giant mice crawling down from the attic along the water pipes to eat soap and make rustling noises.She had to shake her stiff neck, trying to drive the drowsiness out of her body.How afraid she was that if she turned her head and went to sleep, she would be eleven years old again, dragged out of the quilt before dawn in winter, throwing up while eating breakfast, worried that those clumsy lies would be exposed at any time, worried I didn’t have a signed report card for my father. I was worried that Astro Boy would easily climb over the iron gate and climb into the courtyard of Wanhangdu Road after school. He knocked on the glass window with his fingers and said to her who was doing homework with a playful smile: "Xu Sansan, help me with my homework." But Astro Boy, if he also unfortunately grows up, if this nightmare of tirelessly banging on the door in the courtyard and refusing to leave does not wake up, what kind of person will he grow into? adults?

Sansan didn't know why Astro Boy chose her to be his friend.All boys should like girls like Wu Xiaoyun.She is very beautiful, her skin is transparent, and when you talk to her closely, you can even see the tiny light blue blood vessels under her eyelids beating slightly.She could dance, and when all the girls in the class were rehearsing the dance, she had a solo dance, the last move being splits in the air, and Sansan just awkwardly swayed her body from side to side holding a mess of tangled ribbons.Of course, she also secretly learned the splits in front of the mirror after returning home, but the house was too small, and when she jumped up, her butt hit the corner of the table hard, and tears burst out of the pain.And my mother is not like other mothers who like to dress up their daughters. Her hair is all cut by her mother with scissors.Standing in the patio, her neck shrunk, the ice-cold scissors dipped in water clinging to her skin, one scissors on the left, one scissors on the right, her hair curled up randomly after being dried by the wind.Before the age of fourteen, Sansan had never been to a real barber shop, at most she would patronize an old man's barber stand under the sycamore tree at the door, so she knew it would be difficult to get a headband.She always cherishes the time when she is out walking the road with her mother, desperately looking at those Wu Xiaoyun-style headbands in various small cigarette paper shops.But later she found that Wu Xiaoyun had too many headbands, no matter if she wore a thick checkered one or a ribbon bowknot, she was always stunningly good-looking.So in fact, this has nothing to do with the headband, it is because she is Wu Xiaoyun, so Sansan gave up with peace of mind.

No one doesn't like Wu Xiaoyun. The math teacher who always wears nylon sweatshirts and has acne all over her face likes her the most.Every time it was his turn to be on duty in the self-study class, he would let Wu Xiaoyun sit on his lap to do homework.She's the real bony girl with lovely pale freckles on the sides of her nose who does her homework with a 3H wooden pencil.Every word carries as little weight as her person.She was sitting on the math teacher's lap, bent over, her hair brushed on the exercise book, wearing a white mohair sweater with a large neckline and tight gym pants, her fingers were as thin as matchsticks, she was so beautiful.Sansan sat behind her, biting the pen holder silently.She had bitten the barrels of all her pencils to pieces, and the ends were as bare as her fingernails.She was so upset with herself that she would never grow up to be a likable girl.The math teacher also noticed three times three times.Wu Xiaoyun didn't have self-study class that day, her mother took her to the Children's Palace to learn dancing, so when the math teacher passed by Sansan, she suddenly stopped and looked at her for a while.Sansan almost stopped breathing, and felt countless little ants crawling on her back.He said in a very gentle voice: "Come, sit on my lap." This is the only time, the only time!But she sat on his lap, but she didn't dare to sit down at all.She wasn't Wu Xiaoyun, she was too clumsy and dull, so she was so ashamed that she almost wanted to die, she didn't even dare to breathe, she could only use her calf stiffly to support her own weight.Although she hates this acne-prone male teacher from the bottom of her heart, his face turns red whenever he speaks, but she is so afraid that even such a disgusting man doesn't like her, there is almost no one in the world Will come to like her.So, in the end the math teacher became impatient, he stood up and ran away, leaving Sansan alone in a trance, his body still trembling silently because of nervousness.

Wu Xiaoyun and Xing Keke, the curly-haired girl who joined the class in the third grade, are as close as they are girls.Xing Ke was the only girl in the class who had her hair permed, and she also wore a seashell barrette that was so pretty.They go in and out together, eat together in the cafeteria at noon, and go to the bathroom together after an agreement, and wear sports shoes and sweatpants for gym class, whether it is a singing competition or a dancing competition, they are the core, Even when jumping rubber bands, the other girls scrambled to be in a group with them.In fact, the three-three jump rubber band is also very good.On weekends, she dances rubber bands alone in the alley. A dirty rubber band that has broken countless times is tied to a skinny oleander at the door of the house, and the other end is tied to a disused fire hydrant. .She can dance small alleys, sharpen scissors, Malan flowers, and all the suits that they can dance.But they don't know, no one knows that even if the rubber band is tied at the height of the armpit, she can jump over it, because no one wants to jump the rubber band with her, no girl will hang out with a boy who hangs around with Astro Boy all day long Hello girls.But Sansan didn't feel angry, she thought they didn't play with her just because she was always so shy and embarrassed to take out the broken rubber band in her schoolbag.She is embarrassed to walk with good-looking girls, she can't learn to act like a baby to others like them.If they came to talk to her, she would be as helpless as a clumsy bear.Before fooling around with Astro Boy, she was completely alone.

And those boys who can only scream are not friendly to Sansan, because she is always the one who is left alone among the girls, holding a thick novel all day long, looking so eye-catching and annoying.Sansan often went to school wearing a freshly laundered white shirt, and when she returned home, several streams of pen ink had been thrown off her back.She likes that shirt very much. It is round and has small pink flowers embroidered on the neckline. In the past, she would only take it out and wear it when she went to the photo studio.Mom still flew into a rage indiscriminately, as if everything was Sansan's fault.Although she is indeed a forgetful little girl, she once glued a lump of maltose to the new rainbow sweater that her mother knit her, but she is already very careful.Once when she came home, she found a piece of chewed bubble gum sticking to her hair, so she took a washbasin and faced the mirror desperately trying to wash the bubble gum off.But it was useless, the area of ​​those sticky things was getting bigger and bigger, and the strands of hair were entangled so tightly that they couldn't be separated.So she had to take out a pair of folding scissors and carefully cut the sticky hair.As a result, she cut more and more, and when her mother came back, her hair, which was finally able to tie a small braid, was cut bald.So my mother immediately took her to a barber shop run by an old man under the plane tree in front of the house to have her swimming hair cut.She only felt a wet towel of unidentifiable color wrapped around her neck.Under the shade of the tree, several male students from the same class ran over with footballs, and she wondered if one of them stuck bubble gum to her hair.She closed her eyes, and with the movement of the scissors, the broken hair fell on her nose and itched, and a small piece of skin on the back of her neck felt chilly from the absence of hair.It only costs two yuan for a haircut like this. My mother was very satisfied and exchanged a few words with the old man.From the tattered square mirror that Sansan passed over there, Sansan sadly saw a thin girl who was no different from a boy, her hair was unruly and messy, and her bangs were cut too short and crooked.She was so sad that even a fifty-cent glass of ebony juice couldn't make her depression go away.Now, those pink ribbons and those beautiful bowknot headbands have nothing to do with her anymore, and she will definitely die laughing when she walks into the classroom tomorrow.

It was the second day after Sansan had her swimming hair cut. In order not to attract attention, she picked up her schoolbag and walked to the school gate quickly after school.The gloomy day was coming to an end again, but soon she was overtaken by a few scattered boys.She thought the one who threw the pen and ink on the back of her shirt and the one who threw chewing gum in her hair must be among them, but couldn't figure out who, because they circled her screaming, "Manhead, Boy head!" A tall, thin boy in jeans even touched her face.He is a repeater in the class, and has already stayed two grades, so he is taller than other boys.When he was in class, he liked to use a pin to pick the gap between his teeth, which always made his mouth full of blood.Sansan wanted to run, but her schoolbag was too heavy to run fast, and she even staggered a little.Somebody stuck out a foot and tripped her.After she fell, she slammed her jaw hard on the concrete floor, and felt that half of her face was numb from the fall. After her lower lip was broken, salty blood flowed out from between her teeth. It was a small alley next to Tiaoyan's house. There was a trash can at the bottom of the alley. After dinner, many people would come here to take out the trash.But it was only three o'clock in the afternoon, and there was no one else here except those boys who were laughing strangely, so they didn't know where Astro Boy came from.Holding half of the bricks he picked up from the ground, he broke into the crowd and dragged Sansan up from the ground.He pulled out several fingerprints on her arm. "You idiot, get up," he said loudly. The few boys in the same class who could only scream strangely ran a few meters away and stopped making any noise, only the repeater was still standing there.As for Astro Boy, this is probably the first time that Sansan has looked at Astro Boy carefully. He is wearing a pair of Huili brand sneakers that have been washed and degummed.He put his left hand in the pocket of his trousers, and his right fingers seemed to be embedded in the brick.The denim schoolbag on the back was wide open as usual, and the textbooks were rolled into a tube and randomly stuffed inside.His hair was neatly combed into the three to seven parts popular among little boys at that time.The sun hadn't set yet, but he was already dying, and his pupils were coated with a light brown color.His breath was hot, and there was a whirring sound in his nasal cavity. "Go away. Do you want to pick on this girl?" the repeater yelled in a shrill voice, but glanced at the brick from the corner of his eye from time to time. "Why don't you leave?" Astro Boy wasn't afraid at all, but he was at least half a head shorter than him standing in front of the repeater. Many people are afraid of repeating students, because the classmates who were in the same class as him are now middle school students.Most of his little brothers went to that junk middle school at the end of Wanhangdu Road.The small hooligans clustered around the cigarette paper shops and small stalls in front of the school were all from that middle school. Later, they stood in a row on both sides of Wanhangdu Road, and when they saw Sansan walking by, they booed and called, "Pretty girl." "It's also these people, so even the boys in the fifth grade will not mess with the repeaters.However, what he met was Astro Boy.Perhaps Astro Boy was afraid of missing the scene where he could hold a brick like this, and he didn't care about the consequences at all.He can do anything. So before the repeater could say the second sentence, Astro Boy's brick hit his face, and blood dripped from his chin immediately.He was completely frightened and stupid, almost paralyzed in place and dared not move.I saw him slowly covering his mouth with his hands, spitting out a mouthful of blood from his mouth in extreme pain.He stared blankly at the blood in his palm, and suddenly howled like crazy.It turned out that most of the front teeth were smashed out.For some reason, Sansan was not afraid at that moment.She has always been a timid girl. She never dared to raise her hand to answer questions in class. Every time the teacher suddenly called her name, she would slump on the chair and could hardly stand up.The texts that he has read very well at home will read like a fool with a big tongue when he is spot-checked.But now she is not afraid of the repeated students who are crying so hard that their faces are turned upside down, and she even wants to laugh a little.And after a long time, Sansan will still think of Astro Boy at this time, because before that day, she was as afraid of him as other girls, and never talked to him, and would silently bow her head and walk quickly when she met him in the corridor Open, lest he suddenly grab the braid.Of course she was still afraid of him after that day, but suddenly something very strange connected the two of them.She remembered that the repeater held half a tooth and ran away while saying to Astro Boy: "Wait, if you have the guts, just wait here and don't leave. Wait! Wait!" Sansan turned her head happily Astro Boy, completely unaware that his jaw was broken, blood and mud mixed together. "Hey, idiot, why are you still standing there stupidly? Run, he will call for someone later!" What does it mean?Sansan didn't react at all, but could only run after Astro Boy.He ran fast, but she was not slow either.Although she is not good at anything, she is the kind of girl who can run even in broken-loop sandals.The two of them ran into Yan's house along Wanhangdu Road.It was the spring of 1992, and she could feel that her breathing was also hot because of unknown tension and blindness, and her dragged shoes made a crackling sound when they stepped on the ground.Those old ladies who knew Astro Boy raised their heads from the bowl of peeling edamame or from the half wool sleeve they were knitting, and said tremblingly: "Run slowly, be careful of falling, and your father will watch you!" It’s time to eat again.” The warm wind blows towards her face, her neckline is completely open, and the inside of her neck is full of sweat, and a bunch of house keys are dangling cumbersomely on her chest with a dirty ribbon swing away.If it weren't for the fact that she was still wearing a red sweatshirt, it would be impossible to tell that she was a girl.With that too-short swimming head, she ran like crazy with Astro Boy, like two boys who had just finished school, with flushed faces and wheezing breaths coming out of their noses.But why so inexplicably happy?Yes, it is happiness.She had never entered Yan's house before.Those low and simple houses made her feel excited, all the door openings were open, and she could see the old furnishings in the rooms where the sun was not shining inside, the damp and moldy cupboards, spittoons with peony patterns, dilapidated An old man was sitting almost motionless on a rotten wicker chair, and a 14-inch black and white TV flickered on a crooked chest of drawers.It was late in the evening, and there was a mixed smell of the coal stove and the rotting wood of the house everywhere.Many years later, Sansan can still remember this special smell of Yan's house.Unrecognizable women in pajama pants were squatting by the side of the ditch washing rice, and some children after school were screaming and chasing after them with cheap game consoles.The dormer windows of those houses were full of flowerpots, gemstone flowers and creepers were all over the low rubble roofs unscrupulously, and clips of pingtan pingtan came from the radio with the antenna inserted.What a dream!Just now she was chased and blocked in the alley by several boys, but now she is running with Astro Boy in Yan's house.This is the Yan family house that her mother forbids her to enter.Mom always described it as a monster, but it didn't look like a nightmare.She saw several flavors of chewing gum in the glass window of a small cigarette paper shop, and heard the opening song of the cartoon "The Extraordinary Princess She-Ra".Although there is still a little fear of going against my mother's wishes in my heart, as well as a kind of nervousness of being empty in an unfamiliar environment, but the greater blind joy that grows from the corner obviously overwhelms everything.She just wanted to scream and run with Astro Boy in these winding alleys, like a wild child in Yan's house who was cursed by her mother.Go to the repeater, go to the stinky boy, go to the endless homework, damn the name with many strokes, go to the cowardly cowardly self! This was Sansan's first visit to Yan's house, and it was also the first time she walked with Astro Boy.That's all she can remember now, and she can't even remember the name of the repeater.After that day, her entire childhood was spent between Yan's house and Wanhangdu Road, surrounded by the shadow of Astro Boy.But are they really all shadows?Why do I have some happy parts when I think about it now?She remembered that day she followed Astro Boy to his home in the dormer window attic, and he led her to a public faucet downstairs, turned on the faucet, and asked her to wash off the mud on her chin by herself.Only then did she realize that she was bleeding.Although the blood had coagulated, it hurt like crazy when it touched the water.Listening to the rushing water in the faucet, she was very scared, as if she suddenly realized that she had caused a very big disaster again this time, she couldn't help but pouted and wanted to cry. "Don't cry. It's because you cry that they bully you." Astro Boy let the water flow in the faucet, "If you don't wash off the mud, the mud will grow in the skin in the future, and it looks like a long Like a beard." "how do you know?" "Of course I know." After speaking, Astro Boy lifted up his pants quite complacently. Sure enough, there was a shocking scar on his left knee. Some small black sand and gravel were embedded in the skin, and people couldn't help but want to reach out and brush it away. "My father used to beat me and kicked me into the sand and gravel at the door. The blood on my knees flowed into my shoes and my socks were dirty. I refused to wash them just to play my temper, so I exposed my knees to him on purpose. I limped in front of my face for a week, and scabs formed after rolling a little bit of pus, and then it became like this.” "Does your father always beat you?" Sansan asked softly while staring at the scar. "Well. Now my ankle still hurts when it rains. But one day he won't dare to hit me." At that time, Sansan didn't know that everything would be different from now on.She bent down and washed the mud on her chin with a water bucket made of cement, because of the pain she tightly pursed her mouth.Before that she was a weird, quiet girl with a boyish swim cut, no seashell barrettes, no frilly frills.The teachers never looked at her more than once.She was never there when I went to the Children's Palace to participate in the activities to welcome foreign guests. She could only sit in the classroom and watch Wu Xiaoyun and the others raise their heads proudly while being painted with lipstick by the head teacher, and even painted two smears of red on their faces with oil paint.They wore brand-new red scarves and well-polished black T-leather shoes, with a big red bow pinned crookedly on their heads.And Sansan's red scarf was crumpled like "a pickle that has been pickled for too long" in the words of the head teacher.The most important thing is that they don't have to attend the afternoon class, and when they come back, each of them still carries a foreign bubble supported by a hard pole and a set of picture books.Yes, Sansan never got these things, although her grades are actually very good, she has read many books that they have never read, and her handwriting is good.When grandpa was alive, she asked her to write a page of brush calligraphy every day, and grandpa would draw a circle in those matts with a red brush if she wrote well.But who cares?If it wasn't for this evening of running wildly in Yan's house, if there was no Astro Boy, maybe Sansan would grow up like an ordinary girl, be admitted to the city's key middle school next door, wear long hair and braids, and spend all her life A boring time, just like Mom and Dad would like it to be.They didn't know that, in fact, she had been working very hard to grow into the girl her parents expected, but it was too difficult.She walked out of Yan's house that evening, with an ugly purple lotion on her chin, the wound was still tight and painful, and the great happiness just now was almost gone.All the street lamps were suddenly turned on, and she heard the stinging sound of dripping fresh vegetables being thrown into the oil pan from a certain window. The damp and moldy quilt on the bed, and the narrow stairs that only allow one person to go up and down sideways, the wooden boards are loose, and each foot makes a creaking sound when stepping on it, and this crazy afternoon is suddenly very sad.Sansan knew that she had let her parents down again.She was so guilty that she swore to herself that she would never set foot in Yan's house again, never again. But she swore like she was farting.Later, how many oaths did she swear to her father? She cried and snotted and swears that she will never fool around with Astro Boy again, will never skip class again, will never imitate her parents' signatures again, and will never send the report card again. I hid it in the flower bed, and never went to the wild by the remote Suzhou River with the boys again.But all she said was bullshit.She also wrote down countless letters of guarantee, facing the red scarf and the blood of the martyrs, promising that she would never lie again.She always cried while writing, and tears wet all the paper torn from those exercise books, and the handwriting was blurred in many places, and only tear spots could be seen.She forgot all this, she was as forgetful as any eleven-year-old child.She talks bullshit, never trust her again.