Chapter 4 the fourth part

the fourth part The "feud" between Xixi and Sha Guoguo was due to a courier.The express was from Sha Guoguo, and because she was not there, the postman delivered it to my house opposite. Xixi was an enthusiastic girl, and she signed for it immediately, and when Sha Guoguo came back, she delivered it to her.Who knew that Sha Guoguo stared at the envelope and said, "Why did you sign my letter for me? If you sign for me, you will be responsible for returning it for me!" Chapter 40: The Neighbor's Ear (1) Neighbor's Ear 2003 was my worst year.First the company went out of business and I lost the job I needed to survive.Secondly, because the bass player Zhang Fang went abroad, the "Trojan Horse" band, which we had worked hard for more than a year, had to announce its temporary disbandment.I didn't have to go to work during the day, and didn't have to perform at night. Suddenly, I became a complete idler. I was in an extremely bad mood and drank my worries all day long.One is to save money, and the other is for quietness, I moved to a small apartment in the suburbs.The house is very old and far away from the urban area. Most of the residents in it leave early and return late. When I play the electric guitar, I don’t have to worry about people thinking I’m noisy.Of course, my girlfriend Xixi is the one who will never leave. She said to me earnestly: "Ye Tianming, why don't you just write songs at home, and you will become popular as soon as you have the opportunity." Xixi and many, many women Same, with a simple but smart brain.If you fall in love with someone, you will desperately give up.So even though she is not pretty, and sometimes she talks too much, I have been with her for two full years.We don't live together, she just comes to me two or three times a week.Clean up my messy room or buy pizza burgers or something for a "change".Xixi is a girl who grew up pampered. She doesn't know how to cook. When making instant noodles for me, she would ask me repeatedly whether to put the water or the seasoning first. In this regard, she is so slow that most people can't match it.The woman in front of me is Sha Guoguo.But it was the end of October, and she was already wearing a thick coat, a silk scarf, and thin silk gloves, and her expression was serious when she saw people.Sometimes I smile at her, more often, I would rather pretend not to see her.Xixi dislikes Sha Guoguo very much and calls her an "old witch".The old witch Sha Guoguo didn't seem to go to work, she stayed at home like me most of the time, Xixi pouted and said, "Look at her, she can't find a good job!" I gave Xixi a look.Xixi hastily explained, "Don't be sensitive, I'm not talking about you." The "feud" between Xixi and Sha Guoguo was due to a courier.The express was from Sha Guoguo, and because she was not there, the postman delivered it to my house opposite. Xixi was an enthusiastic girl, and she signed for it immediately, and when Sha Guoguo came back, she delivered it to her.Who knew that Sha Guoguo stared at the envelope and said, "Why did you sign my letter for me? If you sign for me, you will be responsible for returning it for me!" After finishing speaking, he slammed the door shut.After I got off work, Sissy begged me to be a messenger again, I reluctantly went to knock her door, she opened the door a crack, glanced at me, and even more reluctantly pulled the letter in. "It's a breakup letter from her boyfriend!" Xixi analyzed while watching TV, "So she doesn't want to accept it." "Oh." I said. "Hey, Ye Tianming." Xixi leaned on me and said, "Aren't you planning to go to the PUB to sing, if you go on like this, you will be sitting and eating." "Don't worry, I promise not to let you keep it." "Everyone in your band is running around I'm going..." "Don't worry about my fucking business!" Xixi curled her lips, didn't dare to cry, opened the door and left.I ran to the balcony to smoke a cigarette, and saw Sha Guoguo standing on the balcony too. She was standing on a stool to dry clothes.The clothes drying pole was a little high, and she raised her arms with great difficulty.I've never seen her home, and it's quite different from usual.When I was wondering if this was that girl, I suddenly saw her eyes closed and she fell straight down from the stool, and then I heard a loud "boom" when her head touched the floor . "Hello!" I was shocked, quickly put out the cigarette butt and shouted over there: "Hey, are you all right? Hey, can you hear me?" There was no reply at all.I couldn't see her even when I looked at my toes, only a small edge of her pajamas.Saving a life is better than building a seven-level pagoda.It took me a second to measure my ability, and another second to visually measure the distance from the third floor to the ground. In the next second, I had already climbed over the window sill and jumped to Shaguoguo’s house. on the balcony.She lay pale and unconscious on the snow-white tiles, her long messy hair covered half of her face, and her red pajamas looked extremely sexy.But I didn't have time to fantasize about it, so I had no choice but to put on a random dress for her and send her to the hospital after repeated patting and shouting still didn't work.The doctor said: "Severe anemia." He also said, "Fortunately, it was delivered in time, so we must be careful in the future." "Oh." I said.With his head buried in his head, he prescribed a lot of tonics and said, "Go and get the medicines!" "Oh." I said.Sha Guoguo finally woke up, and when she opened her eyes and saw me, she was very surprised, and then she said with certainty: "You saved me." This was the first time I heard her speak, and her voice was very Nice and musical. "Yes." I said. "How did you save it?"

Chapter 41: The Neighbor's Ear (2) "I jumped over the balcony," I said.She closed her eyes, looking very tired, after a while she opened them again, looked at me and said, "Why don't you go?" "I'll wait for you to say thank you." I said.What she said surprised me, and she gritted her teeth and said, "I didn't ask you to save me." NND, count me unlucky.I put a large pile of tonics on her bedside, got up and left.Xixi is still angry with me, and she doesn't answer my phone calls.My house is in such a mess that I have no mood to do anything.In the evening, when I was eating instant noodles and watching a football game, the doorbell rang, and I opened the door with my noodles, only to find that it was her.Holding a thick envelope, he said to me: "Here." "What?" I was surprised. "Medicine money, and life-saving money." She said.This thing is really funny, I put the noodles on the ground, opened the envelope and saw a thick stack of money.I shook my head and said to her: "It doesn't need to be so much, you only need to pay 352 yuan for medical expenses, and 14 yuan for the round trip." She hesitated for a while, and followed my advice. Give me all the money, turn around and leave.Xixi finally came again, threw an address in front of me and said: "This bar is called 'Moore Bar', the owner is a student of architecture, just came back from abroad, the bar is not big, he just needs a guitarist who can play and sing, Go and try it." I glanced at the note, but didn't make a sound.Xixi yelled unbearably: "Ye Tianming, don't be so fucking naughty, can you?" I made a gesture to ask her to go out.Not only did she ignore me, but she jumped straight at me, and her fist fell violently on my chest.In the past, I wouldn't bother with such flamboyant fists and sleeves at all, but it's completely different when I'm in a bad mood. I pushed her away hard, and her forehead hit the coffee table, and a piece of it was immediately knocked out. Cyanosis comes.She began to cry bitterly, stood up after crying, and threw my electric guitar to the ground hard. Amidst the earth-shattering noise, she ran away from the door.This girl Xixi is always so angry that it comes and goes quickly. After a while, the doorbell rang again. I thought it was her coming back. Who knew that when the door opened, it was Sha Guoguo with an expressionless face. She said to me: "Instant noodles are not nutritious, I invite you to eat braised pork." When she said that, I could already smell the tempting aroma coming from the open door opposite.Seeing that I didn't move, she made a gesture of invitation to me and said, "You are not afraid, are you?" Her eyes were alive this time, with a hint of sarcasm.hum.I'm not even afraid of jumping on the balcony, let alone eating braised pork.Not to mention my stomach is out of my control now.So I closed the door and walked into her house with my head held high.This should be the second time I've been to her house, but it's the first time I've had time to take a closer look at it. She has arranged the house beautifully, which is very different from my kennel.The food is already on the table, and everything makes me salivate. "Drink?" she asked me. "Drink." I simply thick-skinned to the end.She asked again, "Red wine or white wine?"

Chapter 42: The Neighbor's Ear (3) I said in disbelief: "Is there red wine and white wine in a single woman's house?" "There are also medicinal wine and rice wine." She said, "You can also choose." "It's still a red wine bar." I admit defeat and say.Who knew that what she presented was actually Martell.I said embarrassedly: "It's too grand." "Only this wine." She said. "Buy it for your boyfriend?" I tried to tease. "That has nothing to do with you." She said coldly as she poured me wine.Beautiful hands, I am fascinated by them.For a moment, I really doubted that I had encountered a witch.Until she raised her glass and said to me: "Thank you that day." I quickly responded: "Oh, no thanks, you didn't ask me to save you." She smiled and said: "How dare you jump over?" I was emboldened by alcohol: "Beauty is in trouble, I didn't have time to think so much at the time." She smiled again: "If you didn't save me, I might still be lying there now." I reminded her: "The doctor said that you are in poor health. Pay attention to your body." Her stubborn temper suddenly disappeared, but she said very gently: "Yes." I stayed for a while.She added: "Your girlfriend dropped your guitar." It turned out that she heard everything. "Of course I'll take care of her," I said. "How to clean up?" She asked me very interested. "That has nothing to do with you." This time it was my turn to pull. "Okay, let's drink," she said.As a result, we were both drunk that night, she played music on the CD player, it was "The Last Waltz", and then she walked up to me and bent down and said, "Can I ask you to dance?" I hugged her , her face was close to mine, and I heard her say in my ear: "Thank you for your song, I like to listen to it when I have insomnia." "Oh." I said, "Have you heard me sing?" "You sang I listen to it all the time." She said, "It sounds good." "Thank you." I said from the bottom of my heart. "You look a lot like my boyfriend. Just taller than him," she said, hugging me a little tighter.Her body was softly pressed against mine, and I almost couldn't hold it back, but it turned out that I, Ye Tianming, was still a gentleman, we just danced, we didn't kiss, and we didn't do anything else.It was early in the morning when I woke up on the floor of her house. She was sleeping soundly on the sofa, her delicate face was like a baby, and the floor-to-ceiling curtains were blown leisurely by the autumn wind. I couldn't remember where I was for a moment.After recovering, I got up and went back to my home opposite the door.As soon as I got home, the phone rang, and it was Xixi.She told me that our band had a song that a certain record company liked, and that song was written by me. She asked me to go there as soon as possible, and the people from the record company wanted to see me.I was silent. "Okay. Ye Tianming." She coaxed me on the phone, "Hey, we are waiting for you." I went, and the guy from the record company had long hair, and when he was talking to me, he put his hand on Sissy from time to time. shoulders.Then he said to me: "Your sister cares about you very much. In order to recommend your song, she made more than ten trips to our company."

Chapter 43: The Neighbor's Ear (4) Sisi pushed his hand away, smiling awkwardly.What the fuck have I become? !I stood up and walked away without a word.Xixi chased after her and shouted with tears all over her face: "Ye Tianming, you are not human, I did this for your own good!" Thank you.You're right, I'm not human.I knocked on Sha Guoguo's door, wanting her to drink with me, but she wasn't there.I felt lost, and I didn't see Sha Guoguo for many days after that.This person seemed to have disappeared out of thin air.It's weird, I miss her a lot.Seeing Sha Guoguo again in winter, maybe because I thought I was hopeless, Xixi began to ignore me, my savings were almost exhausted, I didn’t write a decent song, I stayed at home all day and all night Hangover, the sound of the guitar that was smashed by Xixi is broken, I guess I can't fix it and I don't bother to fix it, so I don't play it for a long time.Sha Guoguo appeared at my door at this time, with a charming smile on her face, she said to me: "Look, I forgot to bring the key, it seems that I will jump over from your house." "How could you Disappeared?" I asked her.She laughed haha: "I am a female flying hero, come and go without a trace." I gritted my teeth: "Female witch." "You can also say that." She laughed wildly, "Have you been drinking? What's the point of drinking alone?" Meaning." "That's good." I dragged her in and said, "Let's have a drink together." She came in with a smile: "You open the door for me first, come to my house to drink, my house has a lot of wine." "Okay ."I say.I jumped from the balcony to her house again, but when I opened the door of her house, I saw not only Sha Guoguo, but also a fat man standing with her.The fat man looked at me inexplicably and said, "Guoguo, who is he?" "Yes?" Sha Guoguo looked at me and said, "What's your name?" "Chow Yun-fat." I put on an exaggerated pose and said . "Hahahaha..." Sha Guoguo laughed exaggeratedly. "Let him go!" Fatty ordered.Sha Guoguo pushed him away and said, "Don't make noise, let me talk to my old friend!" The fat man grabbed her waist and said, "Go, go in!" Sha Guoguo pushed him away again, this time the fat man was annoyed: "You fucking have professional ethics, can't you?" Sha Guoguo turned around and slapped the fat man.Before the fat man could react, I had already hugged the fat man, a Sha Guoguo, and punched and kicked him.The fat man must have thought that he had encountered a gang, and was obviously frightened by us. After finally breaking free, he stumbled and ran downstairs, cursing.I heard the sound of the car starting, and Sha Guoguo squatted on the ground laughing, unable to straighten her waist.This witch with seventy-two changes is really not like the always crumpled face in my memory.She squatted on the ground like that and said to me: "Hey, I really don't know your name." "My name is Ye Tianming." I said. "Ye Tianming, you sing well." She stood up and said, "I, a brothel woman, am so intoxicated." "Nonsense looking for smoke!" I leaned against her door and lit a cigarette.

Chapter 44: The Neighbor's Ear (5) Sha Guoguo said: "If your girlfriend comes here now, you will really jump into the Yellow River and you won't be able to get rid of it." "I don't want to jump at all." I said. "Hehe." She smiled, "Did you miss me?" "Yes." I said, "Why did you leave suddenly?" "Nowhere is my home." Sha Guoguo rushed into the house and took two Bottle of wine said to me, "Ye Tianming bring your guitar and sing me a song, okay? We'll get drunk tonight!" "The guitar is broken." I said, "It hasn't been fixed." "Then Just sing it, I like to listen to it too." She ordered: "The Wind Blows North, will it?" After drinking for thirty days, I really sang for her: With a wave of your hand, you said you were going to fly north, love After being cut into pieces with a knife, my heart was completely black. You were right about how tired you will be forever, but who will remember who after this goodbye... Sha Guoguo threw herself on the sofa and cried bitterly.I insisted on singing this sad song while she was crying bitterly.After singing, I drank again. I had never seen a woman who could drink so much. I asked her: "How do you have so much alcohol?" "My ex-boyfriend opened a bar," Sha Guoguo said, "He's gone, leave me this wine and this broken house." "You can be content." I advised him, "It's better than having nothing!" "Men are idiots." Sha Guoguo said, "Ye Tianming and I I'm not afraid that you will get angry, men are really idiots." "Don't do those things in the future." I stroked her long hair and said, "Look at that fat man today, which piece of meat is worthy of you!" "Okay Ah." Sha Guoguo looked around and said, "I can eat very little, and it's not too difficult to raise me." "Okay, okay." I said, "Then you can be my little wife." "Okay All right." Sha Guoguo said, "I don't mind." These were all drunken jokes, but after he sobered up, Sha Guoguo didn't know where he went.I saw my face in the bathroom mirror, and there was a big bright red lip mark on my forehead, which should be Sha Guoguo's prank.I wiped it off with a smile, when did this little witch who never played cards according to the rules kiss me?Just then the door was pushed open, and it was Sha Guoguo, who was holding a bag of breakfast and said to me: "Your girlfriend is outside." I thought she was lying to me, so I said, "Isn't my girlfriend just you?" "Really?" Sha Guoguo said, "It's not easy to raise two wives, do you have enough money?" Last night she disappeared again, it's really faster than turning a book. "Hehe." I said, "I didn't promise to marry you." She said coldly: "Are men always talking like this?" I replied in her words: "Did you forget that men are all idiots?" Spread your hands towards me: "You forgot to give me the money." I was surprised. "Last night." She said, "I charge one hundred an hour, you can figure it out." I really wanted to whip her.But I held back, and took out the last four hundred yuan in the bag and handed it to her, saying: "Is that enough?" Sha Guoguo bit her lower lip and accepted it, then she raised her face to me He smiled and said, "Forget it, for the neighbor's sake, I'll give you a 20% discount."

Chapter 45: The Neighbor's Ear (6) "You're so cheap." After I scolded her, I rushed out of her house. As soon as I went out, I saw Xixi huddled in the corridor with tears on her face. I hurriedly hugged her into the house, and she Tears flowed down my neck drop by drop, and I heard her say angrily: "Ye Tianming, we've been dating for two years, I can't let you die at the hands of an old witch like this." That's that, that's that." I nodded hurriedly, wondering if she had been sitting in the corridor all night, her whole body was cold and shivering all the time, it really scared me a lot.I took her into a hot shower and helped her to lie down on the bed. She closed her eyes and asked me, "Ye Tianming, do you want Xixi?" "Nonsense." I scolded her. "Ye Tianming, if you still want me, you can move." "Nonsense." I said. "I heard you singing for her. Ye Tianming, you haven't sung for me so seriously for a long time." She really stayed in the corridor all night! "Actually, she is not as beautiful or gentle as me." "That is that." I said, "One sky and one earth." "If you don't want me for her, you will give up the whole forest for a green leaf." "That is that That is." "I have no way to forgive you. Ye Tianming, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you to death!" Xixi started screaming, and her fist hit me like a rainstorm.Once she was violent, she would be normal. I felt relieved and hugged her tightly.When I hugged Xixi, I thought of Sha Guoguo when I asked for money. I thought I would never want to see Sha Guoguo again. She really made me depressed.I really never saw Sha Guoguo again.Two months later, I received a brand-new electric guitar from a strange girl and a letter from Sha Guoguo: "Ye Tianming, that name is really good. When I was most lonely , thank you for your songs to accompany me through. I have no savings, all the money I bought this guitar for you. Maybe your singing can comfort the ears of another neighbor. Finally: I hope you will miss me: ) Sha Guoguo" I asked the girl: "What's going on?" She said, "I must bring you Sha Guoguo." "Where is she?" "He died last week." The girl said, "She It's a congenital heart disease, and it can't be cured." I froze there. "Don't blame her for being willful. Who can be willful with life?" After the girl finished speaking, she gave me a meaningful look, turned around and walked away. Her back really looked like Sha Guoguo.I took the guitar that Sha Guoguo gave me and started to sing in the bar. The "Moore Bar" recommended by Sisi is really good. When there are not many people, I can still sing the songs I wrote, and there are guests who want to listen to my songs. When I came to the bar, my income was getting higher and higher day by day, and Xixi often came to praise my performance, patted my face and encouraged me and said: "This is just like you, if you keep singing, there will be results." I kissed her cheeks.Spring has come, and the wind no longer blows north.It's just how Sha Guoguo can know that I am real and miss her often.She has lived in my strings, destined to be entangled with my fingers for a lifetime.

Chapter 46: Butterflies came to this world (1) Butterflies have been to the sixty-ninth floor of this world.It is the tallest building in the city.If I jump down, I can fly like a butterfly.I insisted on wearing my summer blue dress in the very cold autumn. It gently and appropriately brushed my long legs, making me feel very comfortable when I was cold.Through the inexplicable eyes of many people on the street, I quietly climbed up. As I wished, the wind here is really strong, the skirt is raised high, and a smile appeared on the corner of my mouth.It seems like I haven't laughed in a long time because I don't want to live anymore.I haven't wanted to live since I was twenty.The wind on the roof is so strong, I want to fly myself like a kite.In fact, I have imagined for a long time, the joy of flying and the pain after flying.But I hesitated at the last minute.I thought of Xinxin's little face.I should go see Xinxin.I almost forgot about Xinxin, what a damn thing this is.The road to the orphanage is being repaired.After getting off the bus, I have to walk for a long time, and my high heels are a little dirty.I wiped it clean with the paper towel in the bag. Actually, I am not a very particular girl, but to see Xinxin for the last time, I hope to leave her the best impression. "Sister Moon!" Xinxin threw herself into my arms like a bird and said, "Sister Moon, you are so bad. How long has it been since you visited Xinxin?" I tapped her little nose, and I said, "That's four Five months?" "It was spring at that time, but now autumn is here." Xinxin said, "Sister Moon, you wear so little, you will be cold." After finishing speaking, she hugged my neck and kissed me fiercely. .I said that Xinxin is really nice, and in a blink of an eye, she has grown so tall.Xinxin pouted and said, "I'm not good. Not at all." "What's wrong?" "I have no one to accompany me." I suddenly wanted to cry, but I wouldn't cry in front of a child.I gave her the gift for Xinxin, a puppy named "snoopy".It cost me a lot of money, but money is of no use to me.I put the remaining little money in a coin purse and gave it to Xinxin.I said to Xinxin: "Sister Moon is going on a long trip. This is the New Year's money. You take it first." Xinxin looked at me with big eyes that were puzzled. They were so clear and bright that I couldn't bear to look at them.Give her a kiss and say goodbye.She ignored the teacher's order and kept sending me to the door to watch me go away.The crunchy voice shouted at me: "Sister Moon, come and see me soon!" I didn't dare to look back, for fear that she would see my tears.Fortunately, she still doesn't understand the meaning of parting from life and death.Three years ago, I was eighteen years old.Kindergarten just graduated.Before graduation, the school arranged for us to volunteer in the orphanage.It was at that time that I met Qin.Compared with the little boys and big men around me, Qin came out of a novel.He is tall, well-dressed, drives a BMW, and brings many toys to the children.The young teachers at the orphanage got together and quietly guessed his age.Some said he was under thirty, others said he was at least thirty-five.It was about to quarrel.After being heard by Qin, he said very gently: "You are all wrong, I am thirty-eight."

Chapter 47: Butterflies came to this world (2) I stuck out my tongue and said, "God, you are twenty years older than me!" At that time, I was holding Xinxin, who was holding the doll he gave me.Qin took out the camera and said, "Don't move, I'll take a photo for you." With a camera that takes one shot, the photo came out quickly.Both Xinxin and I laughed a little too much, our mouths almost reaching the back of our heads, the bright sunshine above our heads, and the lush cypress trees in the orphanage behind us.Qin took the photo and looked at it for a long time before handing it to me and said: "This is my best work of the year. I really hate to give it to you." "Then you can keep it." I said, "Why don't you take another photo for us? ?” “Take a photo to seize the opportunity.” Qin said, “It will never be good if you do it on purpose.” At that time, I was a simple girl, and when he got complicated, I was stunned.Fortunately, Xinxin broke free from my arms like a bunny, so I followed her all the way.But I always feel that his eyes are following me, which makes me a little uncomfortable. "This man is a bit strange." My good friend Qingqing whispered into my ear, "Yueyue, you have to be careful, he has been watching you, he must be a big pervert." "Don't worry about him!" I said.I have always been fearless, not to mention being a pervert in broad daylight.Qin found me at our school a week later.He took out his business card, the boss of a model agency.Qin said: "You have great potential. It's a waste to be a kindergarten teacher. Would you like to come to our company?" I looked at Qin and shook my head and said, "I don't want to." Qin smiled: "You know how many girls dream of this kind of opportunity. Yes." "Then give them the opportunity." I said, "I don't care." I don't care because I can have the conditions and prerequisites for not caring.I am beautiful, I am one of the best in my class, I am good at singing and dancing, and I was recommended by the school to be a teacher in the best kindergarten in the city. I like children and am willing to hang out with them for a lifetime.It could be seen that Qin was a little bit disappointed.But he didn't push too much, he said goodbye to me politely, and said to me: "Come to me if you have anything to do." Looking at his back, Qingqing still couldn't stop saying: "He should at least treat you to dinner, go to the 'Golden Emperor Hotel' , and take me with you." "Do you want to go?" I asked Qingqing. "If he is ten years younger," Qingqing said, "I can consider it! But he is too old, about the same as my father!" After speaking, he laughed, not without derogatory meaning in his laughter.In fact, I don't think being old is a shortcoming. At night, when I was lying on the bed and looking at Qin's business card, he had a very impressive name: Qin Feng.The business card is very textured, and it is the kind of paper I like. I touched it gently and did not throw it away.The most important thing is that Qin reminds me of my father. They are very calm and calm, enough to be relied on.It's a pity that my father is gone.Dad was sick and died.I was very young and he was very young.Dad told me: "Yueyue, you can't cry if you can't find Dad. No matter what, Dad is watching you." I remember that the violin played by my father will always have the tune of "Butterfly Transformation", and it will always ring in the memory of growing up.

Chapter 48: Butterflies came to this world (3) I can't think about it, it hurts when I think about it.My brother came in from the outside. He was not my real brother, but my stepfather's son.He seldom enters my room, but he never knocks on the door when he enters my room. I just threw the lamp on the bedside table at him and shouted: "Knock on the door, can you! Pig!! "He dodged.He looked at me and said, "When you start working, how much will you pay for living expenses?" As a worker in the factory, I couldn’t give a penny to my family, and I even pretended to have a mobile phone. I sat on the sofa and chatted with my girlfriend on the mobile phone. My stepfather’s goatee was shaking with anger.What an elegant person my father is, he will write poems to my mother and play the violin for her. I will never understand how my mother can bear my vulgar stepfather. Pulling it out, I ran to the bathroom to vomit, and my mother waved at me.It is such a pair of father and son, and we have lived with them under the same roof for ten years.The world is hot and cold. "Don't even think about a penny from me." I said to him, "You've given up on it." "How did you finish your book?" He said grimly, "You have spent my money all these years. It's time for you to reciprocate." "Get out." I said to him without looking up. "The wings are hard?" He looked at me viciously, "If you don't know how to repay your kindness, there will be retribution." "I'll wait." I said, "Retribution will be retribution." He slammed the door and left.Mom stood at the door and looked at me sadly.After a while, she said: "Yueyue, your temper is getting worse and worse. Be careful in society, or you will suffer." "Yes." I said, "You let him shut the crow's mouth first." I didn't expect the crow The retribution that the mouth said came so fast.Just when I was full of ambition to start a career, my target in kindergarten was overthrown by someone inexplicably.When I knew the news, all my classmates were assigned out, and even the street kindergarten no longer needed a teacher.The best student in the school did not find a job and was unemployed.My mother cried until her eyes were swollen, and she couldn't sleep well for several days and nights.When I woke up, I leaned on the sofa and sighed, complaining that my father didn't bless me.The faces of the father and son were as black as coal.Later, because of a trivial incident, my stepfather hit my mother with my hands. I waved my hand and slapped my stepfather on my mother's behalf. He sternly told me to get out, get out!One sound higher than the other.I went to the room and took Qin's business card, and left the house with my small bag on my back.My mother chased me out, handed me a hundred dollars, and told me to stay at my uncle's house for a few days.This was always the case when there was a family storm when I was young, but now it is not when I was a child, I returned the money to my mother, and I told her not to worry about me, I will definitely find a solution.My mother stood there limp and helpless. I really suspected that I was not her daughter. I walked away without looking back, and vowed not to live as weakly as her in my life.I dialed Qin's cell phone from a public phone booth.

Chapter 49: Butterflies came to this world (4) Thank goodness he took it.I said hello Mr. Qin, you are Ji Yue from the normal school, we met in the orphanage. "Oh?" Qin said smartly, "Have you figured it out?" "Yes." I said. "Then come to work tomorrow." Regarding my turning around, Qin did not put on airs, he said: "I am not mistaken, you will become the best photography model." Qin really has insight.As soon as I went there, I was reused. The first advertisement I shot was cosmetics and perfume series.I hardly recognize myself with makeup on, only the look is mine.The photographer didn't believe that I was a non-professional, because I knew everything. He told Qin that we had found a piece of jade, but Qin smiled and said nothing.In private, he gave me a thumbs up and said to me: "I've passed you a long time ago, I will do it." I insisted that the boss wants to provide food and housing, or I will quit.Qin said: "Oh? It seems that you are more suitable for my PR department." "Anywhere." I said, "as long as the food and lodging are included." Want to be independent?" I looked sad: "I don't want to say it." "Then don't say it." Qin arranged me in a small apartment that night.It was his old house.Daily necessities are readily available.I thank him.He said, "Mo Xie, you really look like my daughter." After he finished speaking, he took out his wallet and showed me a picture of his daughter. She really did resemble her, especially the eyes and the deep dimples when she smiled.I said, "See her some other day." "It's far away." Qin said, "She and her mother are in Canada." "Then when are you going?" "I'm not going." Qin said, "I'm away from her mother.” It's gone." It turned out that Qin, who was proud of the spring breeze, was not so happy.No wonder he regularly visits children in orphanages.I thought it was entrepreneurial hype.I began to feel that I was lucky to meet Qin.With Qin's support, I quickly became famous. When I took my mother past the big billboard in the city center, she didn't recognize me.I said it was me, and my mother said: "If you don't say it, it's fine. It's a bit like it." I don't know if she is pretending to be confused. I just invited her to dinner, and there is a second gift I just gave her in her pocket. Thousands of dollars, but she didn't ask about my job in detail.I wish she would ask me.I know she is a little scared, afraid that I have done something bad to get so much money.Even your own mother is likely to look down on you like others.Thinking and guessing.I do not care.I don't care even if everyone says I'm Qin's mistress.Qin and I are indeed very close.Sometimes he would take me home, drink a cup of tea at my house and leave.Sometimes I go to his house and lie on the floor of his house watching American horror movies and screaming while watching.Qin blocked his ears and looked at me tolerantly and lovingly.I think he put up with my screams willingly.Because after reading it, I can cook for him. My dishes are not so good, but he eats them hungrily, saying that he has not eaten home-cooked food for many years.The funny thing is, the story about us has gone from being talked about to being taken for granted, but in fact, Qin didn't even touch my hand.He is really a gentleman, but I fell in love with Qin unconsciously.I thought about telling him on my twentieth birthday that I was going to marry him.

Chapter 50: Butterflies came to this world (5) I don't think he is old.I don't care if he has money or not.I can also fade away from the world of mortals with him, and find a quiet place to die.Of course, the most important thing is to earn more money when you are young.So I work very hard.I will take any job.After walking too many acupuncture points, Qin became dissatisfied and asked me if I had any difficulties at home.我撒谎说：“是的，欠一笔债要我还。”秦说：“多少？”我瞎说：“十万。”秦一声不吭地开出一张支票递给我。I looked at him in surprise.他说：“你的阅历还不足以在外面混。为钱更不值得。”像电影里一样，我当着他的面把支票撕得粉碎，我恨他瞧不起我。其实我在哪里，都是洁身自爱，拍内衣广告的时候也是的。谁都可以瞧不起我，但是秦不可以。我在第二天交辞职报告，秦说：“你想清楚，要是走了，就永远也不要回来。”他的语气不容商量，我又舍不得了，灰溜溜地收回报告，秦替我把它放进碎纸机。我低着头对秦说：“老板，我爱你。”“傻丫头。”秦说，“等你满了二十岁，我就准你恋爱。”我问秦：“和谁？和你吗？”“呵呵。”秦说，“当然不，你要爱一个小伙子。”“我只爱秦风。”我说。 “任性。”秦说，“好好做你的模特吧，你会有出息的。我也可以跟着你沾光。”我终于等来我的二十岁生日。和秦预料的一样，我已经非常的有名。除了拍广告，我开始涉足影视界。甚至有唱片公司找我出唱片。那是我事业如日中天的时候，但是没有人追我，大家都认我我是秦的女人。秦替我办了一个像样的生日PARTY.圈内圈外来了不少的朋友，我做足主角。酒过三旬秦朗声说我公司最成功的模特季月小姐算是真正成年了，我在这里要告之天下年轻男士都放手来追他。各自凭本事。众人哗然。我抢过话筒说：“我只爱秦，我非秦不嫁。”秦没想到我这招，尴尬地看我。众人哗然。我一仰脖，一杯红酒畅然下肚。那一夜我久久不能入睡。起来开了音响。午夜的收音机里竟传出梁祝的旋律，我仿佛看到爸爸站在我身旁，他温和地对我说：“找一个爱你的人，爸爸就放心了。”秦是爱我的。I'm sure.我在深夜拨通他的电话，希望他能来我身边。秦说不好。我说你不来我就来你那里。二十分钟后秦开车到了。我给他开门，他递给我一个盒子说：“忘了给你生日礼物。”我扔掉盒子和他紧紧拥抱，收音机里还是梁祝，夜班主持人一定是睡着了，而CD机在repeat键上。 第51节：蝴蝶来过这世界（6） 我对秦说：“跳支舞吧。”秦带着我旋转，在我耳边说：“我这老头子，要遭天谴的。”我迷信，捂住他嘴，不让他再说下去。我以为我可以和秦和非常美好的未来，因为我不在乎别人怎么说，只要秦也不在乎，有什么呢？可是我没有等到我想像的结局，因为就在那晚，秦从我家驾车出来回自己家的路上，出了车祸。他没有再醒来。我在秦的葬礼上看到了秦的女儿，她十五岁，真的和我长得很像。经过我身边的时候，她用英文骂我。我英文不好，但是那句话我听懂了，她说：“fuck you！”秦走后我的事业就一路往下滑。再说我也没有心思在继续这样的工作。渐渐的我开始夜夜笙歌麻醉我自己。跟不同的男人出没于不同的夜之场所。每天早上不睡到十点不会起床。不再有人找我拍广告。我的存款开始一点一点地减少，但是我不在乎，我得过且过。有一天在路上看到一群小朋友过马路，老师亲切地叫大家小心点，还牵着一个小胖子的手。那个老师我认出来了，是青青。她一点也没变，干干净净的。她没有认出我来。我飞快地走掉了。秦出事后我就没再回过那个家，实在是不敢回去。自己家也不能回了，因为没有钱给妈妈。不过好在我总是有地方住。只是每一次住的同伴不同而已。睡不着的夜里，我常常想，是我害了秦，要不是我的任性，他一定不会死。我又想不知道是不是也是秦害了我呢，如果没有遇到他，我总会在一家幼儿园里找到工作，像青青一样和平幸福的生活。没有相遇，就没有故事。故事是悲是喜，自己从来都不能做主的啊。我本来也不会那么糟的，可是有一次我跟一个男孩回家，他给了我一根烟。那是一根很特别的烟。我就是那样走上不归路的。所以我只有选择死亡。在我二十一岁生日的这一天，在秦的忌日。像蝴蝶一样地离开这世界。最后我又决定去秦的旧房子看一看，和秦的所有告别。一切都没有变。我在那里坐了二十分钟。就在我要转身离去的时候我在沙发上看到一个盒子。那是我二十岁生日的时候秦送我的礼物。我忘掉了。它静静地躺在沙发上，就在那个地方，秦曾轻轻地拥吻过我，那是我的初吻。令我幸福得发眩却一生不能重复的回忆。我用颤抖的手打开了那个盒子，首先看到的是一张照片。照片做成了水晶的相架，是我和心欣在孤儿院里照的那一张，照片的旁边写了四个字：微笑人生。一张笑得多么灿烂的照片啊。然后是一张存折，上面写着我的名字。存款是二十万。里面夹着一张纸条，秦说：“老头子了，只能做这种俗气的事。生日快乐！”我泪如雨下。人生真如戏剧。冥冥中一切都有定数。秦是多么的睿智。我用那笔钱成功地戒了毒。然后我开了一家私人的幼儿园，幼儿园是简陋了一些，但我有信心把它办得更好。心欣是我的幼儿园里第一个小朋友。她用彩色在墙上画了一只大大的蝴蝶，高声地叫我：月亮姐姐快看！多漂亮！我微笑着替她把小手擦干净，也许我再也不是一只美丽的蝶。但蝴蝶来过这世界。关于我的幸福，爸爸也好，秦也好，一定会看到。 第52节：小寂的红色大衣（1） 小寂的红色大衣小寞又穿走了我的大衣。那是我昨天才买的大衣，贵得离谱，买的时候心都在滴血。但是我喜欢大衣的那种红色，不艳不淡。质地也很好，摸上去，很有安全感的一种温暖。都怪我昨晚熬夜写篇稿所以起晚了，不然小寞不会有机可趁。我一边刷牙一边开了信箱。信箱只里有一封新邮件：“姐姐，借走你的新大衣。我今天有约会。”我不奇怪，小寞天天有约会，天天变着法儿“借”走我的东西。我一边喝着牛奶一边向老妈诉苦，老妈正在聚精会神地研究她才买的按摩器，头也不抬地说：“你就这么一个妹妹，迁就她一点么。”这话，老妈说了差不多二十年。没错，小寞是我的亲妹妹，可是天知道，她只比我后五秒从老妈肚子里爬出来，就幸运地拥有了无数的特权，真是天理难容！窗外的天色很怪，看样子是要下雪了，我穿着我皱巴巴的旧大衣出门。大厦的管理员是个笑咪咪的老头子，他举着一个炸药包似的东西，扯大嗓门对我说：“小寞，有你妈妈的包裹，让她赶快来取！”“我是小寂。莫乱喊。”我说，“放心吧，她一会儿准下来。”老妈最近迷上网上购物，说是又便宜又方便。结果很简单，家里的破玩艺扔得到处都是。老妈最幸福的莫过于她做什么老爸都不说她，对她宽容得没有一点原则。我曾经背着老妈责备过老爸，可是老爸拍拍我的背说：“算啦，你妈也没犯过什么大错，让她快快乐乐一辈子不好么？”“还没犯大错？瞧她给我们姐妹俩起的名字！叶小寂，叶小寞，活脱脱两个怨妇。”“知足常乐！”老爸笑呵呵地说，“你妈那时候喜欢读诗，最喜欢的词就是寂寞和惆怅，你们没叫小惆小怅就挺幸运的啦。”瞧我老爸的逻辑！刚进杂志社的大门就遇到老总，他骑着一辆单车，呵着冷气对我说：“叶小寂我正找你，下周的张学友演唱会，要有一篇与众不同的专访，我版面都留好给你了。” 第53节：小寂的红色大衣（2） “我写过三次张学友了。”我说。“读者爱看写十次也得写！”他狡猾地说：“我算你加班费。”得，我们杂志那点加班费，坐公共汽车还得自己贴一半。采访机递到明星面前，说你是某某杂志的，人家都懒得用正眼瞧你。后来我学乖了，跟在电视台记者后面，厚言无耻面不改色地称自己是中央电视台某栏目记者，才可以成功获得不少爆料，加之我是中文系毕业的才女，配合我优美的文字和无穷无尽的想像力，采访稿往往都是杂志的头条。我坐下来，办公桌的电脑旁是杯热茶，散发我喜欢的茉莉香味。杯子也是新的，全木质，长得圆头圆脑，上面只有三个手写的骇人的大字“我爱你”。不用说是大江，全杂志社的人都知道他追求我。这家伙最会搞这套，中午吃饭的时候曾在众目睽睽下对着我唱情歌，而且唱的是张国荣最肉麻的《深情相拥》。我笑着，把一碗西红柿蛋汤泼到他衣服上。他当众声称一个星期不换衣服，而且说到做到，硬上穿着那件又脏又油的衣服对牢我一星期。弄得我哭笑不得。其实大江牛高马大，一张脸还算英俊，杂志上偶尔登他与明星的合影，感觉他比明星还更有型有款。只可惜他感动不了叶小寂。只因为，叶小寂早就心如止水。同事小悠晃过来，看着那杯子叹息说：“纵是铁石心肠，也该泪流满面乎~~~”我把杯子递给她：“喜欢就拿着。”小悠夸张地跳到一边说，“送杯子就是送一辈子，万万不可瞎要的。”我恶人做到底，把杯子连同那杯香茶一起扔进垃圾桶。“野火吹不尽，春风吹又生！”大江神出鬼没地冒出来，手里拿着一个一模一样的木杯，嘻皮笑脸地对我说：“早料到你有这套，所以多买了一个。”“哈哈哈。”小悠走到大江的办公桌前，低头一看，狂笑着说，“大江真有你的，到哪里批发了一整箱哦。”正好收发信件的刘姨过来，递给我一大叠读者的来信，我把大江手里的杯子一抢，递到她手里说：“刘姨，这是你的。”刘姨接过来，嘴里咕嘟了一句：“这杂志社的福利越来越奇怪。”说完就拿着杯子走掉了。看着她出门，小悠笑到绝倒，大江也笑，不过笑得比哭还要难看。我坐下来专心编稿，互联网上的娱乐新闻层出不穷，明星们整日都在忙碌，忙着拍戏唱歌，忙着恋爱失恋结婚离婚，我靠追逐他们混口饭吃，日复一日，生活乏善可陈。再抬头的时候，午饭时间已到。我正要收拾东西到食堂，手机响了，是小寞，尖尖的声音直刺耳膜：“老姐，我在你单位附近，请我吃饭可以不？” 第54节：小寂的红色大衣（3） “大衣还来！”我没好气。“我还没怨你呢！”她倒打一钯，“我穿到学校，同学们都笑我似老姑婆，我一气之下才逃课逛街的。”小寞虽与我一般大小，可她三岁的时候发现心脏有毛病，只好一边治病一边念书，功课走走停停，所以我都工作两年了，她才念到大四。“好吧，”对小寞我一向没办法，“中餐西餐？”“我已坐在'食之都'。”她说，“这里可以看到你的写字楼。”“你当你姐姐是富婆？”“不是富婆也是白领，在'食之都'请一顿小意思喽。”她飞快地收线，“不说了，浪费我电话费。”走到门口，直觉感觉有人跟在身后。我一掉头，是大江，朝我耸耸肩，他大大方方地坦白说：“我想跟踪你。”“我约了人吃饭。”我说。“听到你讲电话。”他说，“男朋友？”“于大江同志。”我忍无可忍，“这是我的私生活。”“我真没机会？”他露出无限伤感的神色，好象是认真的。“是。”天下最毒妇人心，我丢下一个硬梆梆的字，飘飘然而去。到了'食之都'小寞已在座位上磨皮擦痒，见了我捂着肚子说：“你真够慢，我没吃早饭，已经饿得前胸贴后背。”我招来侍应，点一大堆她爱吃的东西给她，她转怒为喜：“我就知道姐姐最疼我。”她穿我红色的新大衣，长发披肩，巧笑嫣然，侍应忍不住多看她两眼。“姐姐。”小寞悄声说，“你应该把头发披下来。我们是孪生姐妹呃，可是我同学说你看上去比我至少大三岁！”“你同学真客气，应该是十岁。”我挖苦自己。“谁敢这么说我挖了她眼睛！”小寞不是不会拍马屁，“大三岁也没什么，这叫成熟和妩媚的美么。”“少来。”我说，“不是说有约会？”“爽约了。”她说，“闷。”“谁那么倒霉？被小寞公主放鸽子。”“哎！”小寞叹口气说，“最近看谁都不顺眼呢。对了，你还记得你高中时的老同学高泽吗？他那时候追求我要死要活的，昨天我在路上遇到他，他居然问我是叶小寂还是叶小寞！你说男人是不是都很无聊？”哦，高泽。我以为我已经忘了这名字了，谁知道再听到时心依然会划过一阵尖锐的疼痛。接下来我再也没心思吃什么饭，看着小寞狼吞虎咽，一颗心乱得没法整理。高泽是我的高中同学，也是我的初恋。那时候我们都只有十七岁，高泽待我很好，郊游的时候替我背包，会考的时候替我补习，但我们都是矜持的好孩子，念书的时候从来都没说过什么，大大的英语书竖起来，拦住初初情动时那张绯红和慌乱的脸。冷漠的表情扮起来，死摁住一颗因爱不安和狂跳的心。一直到高中毕业的那年暑假，他才敢拖我的手，我们一起去看电影，张艾嘉的《心动》。看完后他送我回家，一路都没有什么话，在我家黑黑的楼道旁，他却猛地拉过我，第一次紧紧地拥抱我，第一次生涩地吻我。 第55节：小寂的红色大衣（4） 我爱他爱得天翻地覆，天真地以为那就是天长地久。可是后来，他遇到了小寞。那年小寞高中毕业，和我一起去参加我们同学的聚会。她并不知道高泽是我的男朋友，跟他嘻嘻哈哈闹个没完。高泽私下对我说：“你和你妹妹长得一模一样，怎么性格那么不一样呢？”“是吗？”我说，我当时并没有介意。几天后的一个晚上，小寞穿走了我用一个月家教费买的新裙子和老同学去迪吧玩了，我要家教，匆忙中套着她的外套出门，刚走到楼下，被高泽一把拖住了，他盯着我痴痴地喊：“小寞，小寞！”我吃惊。还没来得及说话，他一把抱住我喃喃自语：“小寞我爱你，我从没遇到过你这么奇特的女孩子。”我终于清楚地听到他喊我小寞。我气弱游丝地问他：“那小寂呢？”“我和你姐姐只是好朋友。”高泽抱住我不放，“让我爱你好不好？让我爱你！”我推开他跑远，心在瞬间碎得分崩迷离。高泽始终不知道他自己认错人。他终于成功约会到小寞。可是小寞嘲笑他老土，竟然在咖啡厅里请她喝绿茶，简直没有一点创意。我知道小寞她对高泽根本就没有动过真感情，她像只美丽的花蝴蝶穿梭于无数的男生之中，爱情不过是一种浪漫和炫耀。高泽痛不欲生，大学毕业后终于选择了远走他乡。自始至终，高泽没有给过我任何解释。我用了整整二年的时间来承认自己的失败，午夜梦回，常常会有伤痕累累的错觉。同事们都说我冷若冰霜，可是谁又像我一样深谙爱情的薄脆和不能靠近呢？“你在想什么，姐？”小寞伸出手在我面前晃晃：“又在想你的采访稿？”“对。”我支吾说，“张学友。”“太老套。”小寞说，“你们杂志只适合垃圾箱。再说了，现在谁有空看杂志，我们同学都在泡吧，上网，忙都忙不过来。”“打击你姐是否天下第一乐事？”我一边骂她一边招侍应过来买单。“一位先生买过了。”侍应递过来两客冰淇淋说：“这是他替你们要你冰淇淋。”“哇塞！”小寞迫不及待地接过来，不问来路，张嘴就吃。大江！这个阴魂不散的臭男人！我气呼呼地把碟子推到一旁，对小寞说：“你慢慢吃，我要回去上班了，还有一大堆事等着我做呢。”“姐姐！”小寞诡秘地笑，“是否有人追求你？”我不置可否，挥挥手跟她再见。回到单位，大江正翘着腿和小悠在聊天，见了我说：“吃完了，这么快？看来我还有希望哦。”我从包里拿出两百元，往他桌上一放。 第56节：小寂的红色大衣（5） “做什么？”他奇怪地说。“你心里清楚，我不喜欢欠人。”我说。“你做人何必这么认真？”大江无奈地说，“那杯子不过是我从地摊上批来的，二十块都不值。”“你知道我说的不是那个。”“那会是哪个？”他死不认帐。我大声喊，“你知不知道你很讨厌，请你永远都不要再来烦我！”办公室里一片寂静，小悠他们都用奇怪的眼神看我这性情怪异的老姑娘。正在这时，手机尖锐的响声打破了宁静，是陌生的号码，我走到外面去接，电话那边传来的是曾经非常熟悉的声音：“小寂，是我。”是高泽。我说不出话来。“刚看到你。”高泽说，“看到你和小寞，却没勇气走近。”原来，付帐的是他。我还是说不出来话。我实在这知道该说什么。“我一直那么抱歉。”高泽说，“小寂，我一直想说抱歉。”我摁掉电话。眼泪在不知不觉中爬满了脸颊。身后传来大江的声音：“需要我帮忙么？”我转头，看到他手里捏着一张纸巾。“谢谢。”我赶紧擦掉眼泪，由衷地说，“无缘无故跟你发火真是对不起。”“给你道歉的机会。”大江打蛇随棍上，“晚上陪我吃饭？”“欠着，下次我请你。”我转身，随即到老总的办公室，向他告假半天。他看着我说：“怎么了，脸色这么坏？”“病了。”我说。他爽快地答应我，让我回家好好休息。我没有撒谎，我是病了，那声抱歉迟到那么久，那个不愿存在其实却一直存在的伤疤，终于被蜂拥的往事粗暴地翻出来蹂躏，我怎么可能不面如菜色。拿了包走到单位的门口，大江等在那里，递给我一个头盔说：“我送你回家。不许拒绝，不然我一头撞死。”我已经没力气和这个孩子气的男人争辩任何，也没有力气独自回家。于是上了他的车，他摸摸我的长头发，爱怜地说：“小寂，小寂，瞧你多寂寞。”我无语。回到家里，爸爸妈妈正在商量着要不要去三亚旅行，冬天旅行不知道会不会很麻烦，他们两个脑袋靠在一起，很认真地看着报纸，再挨个往旅行社打电话，旅行还在计划中，兴奋就已经满满地外溢。而我到老了，会是谁在陪我？会不会找到一个男人，像我老爸那样纵容我老妈的幸福？我心酸地关上门，倒在床上，戴了耳机听阿杜。这个叫阿杜的男子，有一把糟糕得要命的破嗓子，唱让你心酸得要命的情歌，我曾在杂志上替他写过专访，专访写完了，杂志卖掉了，他的歌却戒不掉了。他正在绝望地唱：我闭上眼睛就是天黑。 第57节：小寂的红色大衣（6） 对，闭上眼睛，就是天黑。大江的电话很快就来了：“我很担心你。”他飞快地说，“我知道也许轮不到我担心，可是我就是想告诉你，我很担心你，你要好好的。”说完，他挂了电话。高泽又打我电话，我没接。后来又打过数次，我硬着心肠，依然没接。三天后，他终于找到我单位。我差一点没认出他来，他变了许多，穿名牌的服饰，开始有商人的派头。那一瞬间，我怀念穿白衬衫白球鞋的他。这个男人固执地占据着我年少时所有的记忆，他实在应该感到满足。只是时过境迁，我再也不会像从前那样的傻。我们在“食之都”刚坐下，他就单刀直入地问我：“有男朋友吗？”“和你有关系吗？”我淡淡地笑。“也是。”他并不接招，“有和没有，我都打算重新追求你。”“你认为你有机会吗？”“有。”他看着我的眼睛说，“小寂，我相信你还爱我。”高泽的胸有成竹让我感到恶心，我在那一刻明白，我对高泽，根本就没有了爱情，所有的怀念，不过都是出自于不甘心。我心释然。只是还是不愿意和任何人约会，心死得让自己都灰心。圣诞节的夜晚，市里的好几家杂志包了家歌舞厅搞联谊晚会。小寞苦着脸说不知道该答应哪个男生共度圣诞夜，索性一个也不答应了，吵着要和我一块去。她带我去她熟络的理发店做头发，老板替我把长发收拾得妥妥贴贴，只肯收下很少的服务费。这个小寞，在哪里都吃得开。大江一看到我们就发呆了。我顺水推舟，把小寞往他身边一推说：“照顾好我妹妹。”大江瞪着眼说：“孪生的？”我扬扬眉：“可不？如假包换。”洗手间里小寞低声对我说：“做杂志的人都挺迂的。”“谁让你跟着我来，”我说，“最怕这种应酬，烦都烦死。”“姐你一贯这样啦。”小寞说，“今晚我好人做到底，替你应酬好啦。”“不许悔。”我赶紧脱下我的大衣给她。“扮你我拿手啦。”小寞说，“今晚看我的。”小寞真有她的，表演滴水不漏，就连我们老总也被她骗到，一边跟她敬酒一边讨论明年杂志的改版，小寞均从容应付，趁人不注意，朝我眨眼睛。我乐得在一旁清闲。十二点的时候，我很累了，小寞正玩到兴头上，我告诉她我要先回家。“好的，”小寞附在我耳边说，“你放心，我会找到人送我。”我当然放心。跟她再见独自走到大门口，身后却传来大江的声音：“小寂，你等等，我送你。”“你认错人了。”我回头笑笑说，“我姐在里面。”“我不会错。”大江走上来，“你是小寂。”“凭什么这么肯定？”我奇怪地问他。“你刚进杂志社的时候，捧着一杯茶站在窗口，眼底的那抹忧郁让我震憾，我从那一刻起，就决定要保护你一辈子。”“不用说得那么抒情吧。”我微笑，“不过我承认，你的眼睛很厉害，要知道我要是和小寞存心使坏，连我爸妈都不一定分得清。”“我可以的。”大江说，“你妹妹永远不会有你那么动人的眼神，纵然她穿上你的红色大衣。”“别吹牛。”我说，“谁知道你是不是瞎猜的。”“是不是还有一辈子可以证明么。”大江朝我伸出手，“你要是不介意，我想陪你走一辈子。”我笑。可是他不笑，一本正经。这是圣诞节，深夜十二点。整个城市燃着不夜的灯火，我慢慢地把手放进大江的手里。他的手宽大而温暖，牵着我，和我一起走过飘雪的灯火辉煌的大街。能和大江一起走多久我还不知道，但我已经幸福地发现，在我心里一直复杂和迷乱的爱情，原来也可以开始得这么的突然和简单。