Chapter 4 long-dried grass

long-dried grass (1) I'm not without guilt, but love makes me lose some of my sanity.At three o'clock in the middle of the night, I went to a small abandoned building in the suburbs to smoke. I watched the cigarette butts fall from a high altitude, and a weak spark fell desperately to the long-dried grass. Beneath the grass was a piece of black, dirty soil. I said to myself: Come on, you are not bad, you are just a wayward child. One day after school, I walked out of the school and suddenly saw Xu Yi. He was carrying a big schoolbag, leaning against the huge sycamore tree at the gate of the campus.He watched me approach, with a sadness in his eyes that he couldn't hide.

I walked over, squeezed my throat and pretended to be brisk and said, "Handsome guy, what are you doing? How dare you skip class today?" "I miss you, come on." Xu Yi said a little aggrieved, "I haven't heard from you for two days." I stretched out my hand and quickly pinched his cheek a little: "I'm sorry, baby, I've been busy these two days and passed out." "What are you up to?" he asked. "What are you busy with, um, let me think about it." I raised my eyes to look at the sky, and I saw a black man, a tall black man, leading seven or eight boys, walking out of the school.

My heart skipped a beat. I wanted Xu Yi to leave quickly, but it was too late.The black gang quickly surrounded him, and the black man was wearing those metal ornaments that dazzled me again. He looked a little scary when he didn't speak, and looked like a dog about to eat people. I pushed Xu Yi and said, "You go first." Xu Yi didn't move. The black man said gruffly: "Could this be the little boy you like? Well, your taste is getting more and more difficult to understand." "You dare to touch him, you try?" I said to the black man, "I will never finish with you."

"Hahahaha..." the black man looked up to the sky and laughed, "Li Bala, I just realized that you don't fucking love men like normal!" "That's it." I said, "I fired you the fuck out of my jealousy, what's the matter?" "What can I do, I don't want to do anything, I won't do anything at all, even if I want to do something, I won't let you know what I want to do!" The black man was in a hurry, but his tongue twister was slippery. "Get out!" I squeezed a word through my teeth. The black brothers looked at me angrily one by one.

Xu Yi was panting heavily beside me. My mind is running fast. If there is a real fight, should I call 110, go to the rescue, or go to the school to find the teacher. When I didn't think clearly, the black man snapped his fingers in a dull way. A tone of defeat said to everyone: "Let's go." After speaking, he was the first to turn around and stride forward. Just as my hanging heart was settled, something unexpected happened again. Xu Yi rushed up, raised his fist, and gave the black man a heavy blow from behind on the shoulder, shouting: "The bald head , I warn you, you are not allowed to bully her, I will never allow you to bully her!"

The scene suddenly became chaotic. My poor irrational boy, he's one for eight, and you can imagine the end. He was decapitated, lay in the hospital for a whole week, and was disciplined by the school. My relentless efforts earned Zhang Yang's trust.He finally walked into my house quietly, and gave me a thumbs up and said: "Girl, well done, I knew you could do it." The old woman is playing mahjong outside again. According to my experience, she will definitely not come back. I said: "Little Baiyang, you have to reward me, I will fall for you." "Come on," he said, "don't tell me it's your first time."

But that was really my first time.In my small cramped room.I saw Zhang Yang approaching me slowly, my dormitory was mixed with many special smells, a girl's faint smell of menstrual blood, scented underwear, body wash and shampoo, and various perfumes.Of course, there is also the smell of Zhang Yang. There is a string of pink wind chimes on the balcony, tinkling in the warm wind blowing through the air at three o'clock in the afternoon.All this made me slightly dizzy.I gently pushed him away, jumped out of bed, carefully closed the door, and buckled it.Then she shyly sat on her bed and said to him, "Come here."

In this way, I selflessly sacrificed myself for a sudden and invisible love. This world has lied to me, and I must fight back. I will not let go of any bit of happiness that belongs to me, even at the cost of it. I see myself in Zhang Yang's eyes, ah, myself, so beautiful. When I woke up, I found that he was still asleep. He closed his eyes and breathed evenly.The long eyelashes flutter lightly.Before this, I never knew that boys could have such long and beautiful eyelashes.I couldn't help reaching out and fiddled with it a little.He didn't wake up, he grunted indistinctly, turned over and continued to sleep.I got up from the bed, put on my nightgown, and saw a smear of red on the quilt, long and dark, like an inexplicable mark suddenly appearing on the map, which was not at all what I had imagined.

long-dried grass (2) To be honest, I never thought it would be so painful. I leaned over and went to the bathroom to clean myself. I saw my slightly haggard but excited little face in the mirror. I pinched the left side of my face and said: Girl.He pinched his right face again and said: woman.Then I giggled shamelessly. I still saw the upside-down clock in the mirror, it was sent back from my mother from the United States, I don't understand why she sent a clock back, although this clock is very, very special.I remember the face of the old woman who was purple with anger when she received this international mail that traveled across thousands of mountains and rivers. She threw the clock decisively into the backyard, and the dust flew up, sending out a deafening echo.I slipped out in the middle of the night and picked it up quietly, but since then, it can only stay in this small bathroom that only belongs to me.

Now, it tells me it's seven o'clock sharp in the evening. I suddenly felt very hungry. I didn't know if the sleeping baby was hungry too, but I knew I should find a way to get him something to eat before he woke up.I tiptoed open the door, went outside, and opened the refrigerator in the kitchen.The refrigerator was still shamefully empty, and it dared to call it a refrigerator. I closed the refrigerator door heavily, opened the rice cooker, and saw that there was half a pot of rice.I stretched my nose and smelled it. It was delicious and could be eaten. I decided to scramble a pot of egg fried rice to feed myself and my dear.

Of course, I have to feed my cat Xiaodou. I suddenly felt that what a responsible, lovely and good woman I am alive. With all the tenderness in my heart, I started to fry my egg fried rice.God knows, this is my skill, and I do it all with ease, even taking time out to pick shallots and greens in the backyard while the oil is boiling in the pot.Just when the work was about to be done, I suddenly heard the sound of the key being inserted into the keyhole. My, that, oh my god. Quickly I wrung out the fire, hurried back to my cabin, and quickly locked my door behind me. About a minute later, the old woman began to slam on my door: "What are you doing with the door closed, come out, come out, do you hear me, open the door!" Zhang Yang was awakened by the fierce knock on the door. I covered his mouth and shrugged helplessly at him, motioning him to keep quiet. He started to put on his clothes and pants in a panic, and looked at the ambiguous mark on the quilt with even more flustered eyes.The old woman is still working hard on her knocking on the door, oh no, it should be the great cause of knocking on the door: "Li Bala, come out, don't think that I don't know what you are doing!" I pursed my lips towards the window, motioning Zhang Yang to go out from the window. Zhang Yang understood, he held my face in his hands, and sucked my lips hard, then, he approached the window and disappeared into the night lightly. I quickly closed the window.Turning around, he grabbed a handful of dirty clothes and old magazines, covered the bed sheet, then went to open the door, and asked lazily, "Are you tired? You're getting old, so be careful." The old woman flashed into my room dexterously, her posture and eyes were a bit like a secret agent in an American blockbuster, she scanned my room with piercing eyes, and then asked me, "Where is the person?" "Who?" I said. "When you ran into the room just now, I saw someone lying on the bed." "You are so funny." I sat on the pile of clothes on the bed, opened a magazine and said, "Look, please go out after reading, I'm going to sleep." "I'm warning you." She approached, pointing her finger all the way to the tip of my nose, "You can do whatever you want, but you can't be here, otherwise, you'll get out of here too!" "Where do you want me to go?" I asked her, "This house belongs to my father, don't forget." She turned away angrily. I closed my door, sat there and cleared my mind, deciding to get the sheets out of the way first.I didn't tear off all my sheets, but went to the bathroom to get a basin of water, found a brush, took a small piece of soap, and squatted on the floor to scrub it slowly and patiently.Watching that imprint get diluted and melted, I smiled and thought, what a good day today, I finally got what I wanted and gave myself to him. What a happy and long aftertaste. That night, I didn't want to go anywhere.I was walking alone by the creek in my dirty jeans and my thin pink cardigan.I was in a surprisingly good mood, and even hummed a ditty.I recalled Zhang Yang's face again and again when he approached me, and my own beautiful face reflected in his dark eyes, like a looping night movie, played in my mind alternately, time after time, I don't know tired. After waiting for so long, I, Li Bala, finally let the person I love fall in love with me. I leaned against a tree trunk by the river and took out my mobile phone. The orange screen illuminated my slender fingers. I pressed the phone number one after another. The phone rang for a long time before someone answered it. Yang Yang's male voice: "Excuse me, who is looking for Zhang Yang?" "Me." I lit a cigarette and said. "He went to study late." "Oh." I said. He hung up, he didn't ask who I was, he didn't care at all. I guess that person should be Zhang Yang's father, maybe too many girls called Yang, so that his curiosity disappeared.I still felt left out, and my mood went from boiling point to freezing point.Probably because of hunger, the taste of cigarettes was extremely bitter in my mouth. I walked back and forth under the tree twice, and my mood became uncontrollably irritable. I decided to go to a ramen restaurant to fill my stomach first. The ramen restaurant was deserted after nine o'clock at night, but the boss was still waiting for the arrival of the crowd after the evening self-study with a smile on his face.At this relatively leisurely moment, the four young guys in the store were hiding behind the counter playing poker, comparing the points, and the little Xinjiang who lost five yuan was flushed, with despair of ruining his fortune. I slapped five yuan on the counter and said, "Add more beef! The noodles need a big bowl!" Then I found a place that seemed suitable and sat down, continuing to smoke my cigarette. I'm not used to smoking 555, but when I'm in a bad mood, I only smoke 555. Then I saw her, she was carrying a cute schoolbag, wearing a black T-shirt with a round red face, and pushed open the door walked in.This girl is in the sky, I must have met her, but I never spoke to her.To be honest, she looked really cute, so that I suddenly had a mentality of wanting to play tricks on her.I held the cigarette high, glanced at the TV, and made an arrogant look. I thought she would be afraid, frown, and hide from me, so I could laugh so hard that she would laugh. at a loss. long-dried grass (3) Who knew she actually sat down opposite me. This took me by surprise, and I glanced at her.She looked at me with big, clear eyes that made me jealous.I decided to continue teasing her, I stretched out my hand, grabbed a handful of coriander from her bowl and put it in my own bowl, I thought she would stand up and walk away angrily, who knew I would Wrong, she just glanced at me, then buried her head and ate her noodles without saying a word, as if nothing happened. My interest in her grew little by little. This child is so well-behaved, so cute that it makes people feel distressed. I noticed that her ears are transparent, cute, and pink.I always like to secretly give others a nickname in my heart, so I called her Little Ear. She is as clean and pure as my little poplar. Not long after, I got to know her name, she was Li Er.When I was a petty bourgeoisie, I called myself Muzier.This is somewhat of an astonishing coincidence with the nickname I gave her. This world is made up of countless coincidences. Little Ear and I are not the same girls, but we have become good friends who cherish each other. I swear to God, when we walked out of the ramen restaurant together, when she took out the umbrella from her school bag and handed it to me, I thought so in my heart. "You'll catch a cold if you get in the rain," she said to me.I took the umbrella, and the umbrella handle still had the soft warmth of her palm. No one has treated me like this, let alone we are just strangers.My heart was like cotton being punched hard, and it softened, a deep pit, and I couldn't get up for a while. I took the umbrella and ran all the way to the gate of Tianzhong. When I arrived, I realized that I had forgotten to open it. My trouser legs splashed a lot of mud, which made me look even more dirty. I hid in a corner, I hope to see my dear come out of it. I am entangled in the tenderness in my heart, and I cannot escape.Suddenly, someone tapped lightly on my head, which gave me a big jump. "Hi," he said, "I guess you're there, and you are." It's Xu Yi. Oh, what's weird, I kept my eyes on the school gate, but I didn't see him coming out. I smiled at him a little stiffly. "What's wrong with you, okay?" He moved the umbrella over my head, looked at me with concern and said, "Your lips are purple, are you a little cold?" "Oh, kinda," I said. "You've been waiting for me for a long time." Xu Yi said, "It's like this in the third year of high school. The homeroom teacher is still chattering after self-study. But tomorrow I can have a monthly vacation, so I think I can sneak out and play with you." I hugged my shoulders to listen to him, and answered absently: "Really? Aren't you afraid of your mother?" The corner of my eye was still hanging on the school gate.Just then I saw him, he walked out of the campus side by side with a girl, he was holding an umbrella, but the umbrella was always leaning towards the girl carefully, if I didn’t remember If I'm wrong, I've seen that girl in a ramen restaurant. Zhang Yang should have seen me too, but he didn't pay attention to me, just nodded slightly, and walked past me. Night, light rain.The smell of lilac is still there.I stood under Xu Yi's umbrella and watched Zhang Yang walk past me holding an umbrella for other girls.The girl's face was full of pride and happiness.For the first time, I understood what it means to be crushed and what it means to be heartbroken.No matter how hard I try, I can't take my eyes off those two figures from behind.I really want to rush up, grab the umbrella, and twitch at those two people, but I can't do it, because I know very well in my heart that if I really do this, then Zhang Yang will never be seen again. It belongs to me. I swallowed my saliva, and if I can't bear it, I will make a big mess. "What are you looking at?" Xu Yi asked me, "Do you know him?" "I don't know." I said, "I just think he's a bit handsome." Xu Yi smiled hard and said, "Is he handsome, or am I more handsome?" "Of course my boyfriend is more handsome." I took Xu Yi's arm and said, "Look at them, let's go ahead and compare with them, and see which pair of golden boys and girls ranks first!" Stretched out his hand to hold me to go forward, he held the umbrella in one hand, and held me carefully with the other moistly. We walked quickly in the light rainy night, we turned a corner, and turned another corner , turned another corner, and finally arrived at a place he thought was safe, under a building. It was an office building, empty and dark at night. I leaned against the wall, Xu Yi's arms stretched out and placed above my head.I smelled his breath, young, eager to try, completely different from Zhang Yang.At this moment, this child who was spoiled by me, I was very afraid that he would kiss me, so I slightly turned my face away, with my chin resting on my own shoulder, with a little fake innocence that made me sick. Xu Yi said in a hoarse voice: "Come on, the more I look at you, the more beautiful you are, really." "Are you going to play on the court tomorrow?" I asked him left and right. "Didn't I promise to spend a day with you tomorrow?" He said, "Think about it, where shall we go?" "I have nowhere to go tonight," I said. "What's wrong?" "I had a fight with my old woman, and I ran away from home," I said. "Ah? So what should we do?" He was a little flustered. I said unreasonably, "I want you with me. Tonight, all night." "But, come on..." He hugged me and said, "But my mother..." "Forget it." I gently pushed him away and walked forward, pretending to be relaxed and said: "Forget it, I'll go to the bar to spend the night, anyway, the sky will be bright soon, you can go home, bye Bye-Bye!" "Come on!" He rushed up and grabbed me, "Don't be angry, can't I think of a way?" "What do you think?" I said. He said surprisingly: "Why don't you go to my house!" I stared at him with wide eyes.