Chapter 18 Article 18

241 Everything went smoothly. The next day, I saw Alai coming out of the corridor in the lobby of the waiting room wearing a suit and carrying a travel bag in his hand. His eyes wandered around. When he saw me, he smiled and quickened his pace. I went to Qian Qian took her travel bag, walked out of the waiting room without looking sideways, came to the parking lot, got in the car, and went straight to Andingmen. "Bought a car again?" "Try it, I don't think I'll buy this one." "That's right, second-hand cars are not good." "What song are you listening to?" I asked.

Alai's hand fiddled with the pile of tapes in the front toolbox. "whatever." I lit a cigarette while the car was driving in a straight line. From time to time, I peeked at Alai from the mirror. With one hand on my shifting hand, I slowed down the car. The road was lined with yellow and green leaves in autumn. The sudden wind blew the leaves from the trees onto the windshield from time to time. Sometimes I had to use wipers to clear them. knocked out. Alai inserted a tape into the tape compartment, and a familiar tune came out from the speaker, but it was still the same old-fashioned one.

242 "When did you raise this pot of spider plants?" "One month after your wedding." Alai walked around my room and came to the window sill to look at the spider plants hanging from the top of the bookcase. The leaves of the spider plants were carefully brushed one by one when I was free, and they looked green and pleasant. This is my house The only difference between here and before. "you've changed." Alai turned around and looked at me for a moment, then said. I made two cups of Nestle lemon tea, and handed one to A Cai, who took a sip, choked, coughed twice, her face turned red, and then smiled at me.

"Why don't you talk?" I was sitting on the sofa with a cigarette in one hand and a teacup in the other, wondering which one to do first. "I'll tell you when you're done." "Wait what do I say?" For a while, I didn't know what to say. Alai sat across from me.Without the madness of a married woman or the demure demure of a married woman, Alai is Alai, my beloved Alai without words, sighed and stretched. "What have you been up to lately?" "Sells sports equipment." "Changed jobs again?" "It's changed again."

"Have a girlfriend?" "Not fixed." "yes?" "Ok." The conversation was interrupted again here, and we each bowed our heads and drank tea. "Alai." I called her softly. Ali raised his head, "What?" I was at a loss for words. "Shall we go to bed?" Allai said abruptly. I nodded, and the two walked silently to the bed, Alai kicking off his shoes.Sitting on the bed, she took off her clothes one by one, threw one piece on the sofa, and when she was naked, pulled the blanket and got in. I undressed next to her, and Alai pushed me with his arms: "When was the first time I lay in this bed?"

I continue to take off. "Do you remember?" she asked. "Remember some vaguely." "What do you remember?" "Remember you call yourself Da La." "Am I?" "Enough." I hug Alai and bite her hair, not looking at her face. The afternoon sun came in directly from the window, which seemed too dazzling. Alai and I lay lazily on the bed and smoked. Alai was as sensitive and affectionate as ever during lovemaking, and now she turned her head to the side, wondering what she was thinking. "From now on, come when you're bored, or at other times."

A dish nodded. After a while, she stretched out most of her body from the blanket to get water on the coffee table, and lost the half covering me. I waited for her to finish drinking on the coffee table, grabbed the blanket tightly, and Alai rolled away. She came back, buried her face in my chest, and kissed me. When Alai left, she made an appointment to come back a month later, because she only had one vacation a month, and the vacation was seven days in total, and she had to stay with her husband for six days. 243 Alai's husband is a Malaysian who runs an investment company in Beijing. He is very rich. He likes to eat Chinese food, play Chinese mahjong, and practice Chinese women, that's all.

244 A long time later, Alai told me intermittently what she really thought of me-she thought I was in a state of wobbling, which made her unable to grasp it, and because of this, she felt always restless with me, and still There is a slim future. In the later conversations between Alai and I, it was important to me that Alai told me that she loved me and thought of me often. Alai also explained a lot of truths to me, such as without a stable economy, there is no stable mentality, and what should be a positive life, etc. He spoke with sincerity and clarity. After the lecture, I expressed my gratitude to her.

245 At the beginning of 1994, Alai returned to Beijing and was promoted to the manager of the company's investment department. She became a strong woman in the eyes of the public. She drove a red BMW, which her husband bought her as a birthday present, between her home in China World Trade Center and her commute to work. Between companies, daily necessities are called in her own words-only bought in Dorset.I saw her wedding ring, a beautiful diamond ring, said to be priceless, and I said to her after seeing it, "Is it fake?" She giggled. 247 During the above period of time, I lived peacefully and had a lot of savings. My friends and friends gradually dispersed, and my contact with Hua Yang and Liu Xin became less and less. I spent most of my time with Lu Ran playing billiards and watching movies. I seldom went out at night and slept. Sufficient, the weight increased by seven catties, the business of the company was good, I was fired from the company because I failed to reimburse a rebate, so I switched to another foreign company that specializes in sports equipment.

The relationship with Alai remains indifferent. As time goes by, I know that the indifferent relationship is nothing but a close call. One day-- 248 In the spring and summer of 1994, the wind blew for a few days as usual, the sky turned yellow as usual, the passers-by were all ashamed, and the trees sprouted new branches. Under the overpass, new leaves emerged from the branches, like yellow and green bugs, arranged tidy. I came out of Yansha Friendship Mall, carrying a can of Coca-Cola I just bought from a vending machine, and took a taxi on the side of the road. It's wet, I hope I will go soon.I got up from the bed at noon, took a shower, brushed my teeth carefully, shaved my beard, and changed into a gray jumper and a pair of black corduroy pants.Putting on a leather jacket, he went straight to Lufthansa and bought Alai a platinum necklace that was so thin that it was almost nothing. It cost more than 400 yuan.When the taxi passed the Jingguang Building, I thought of a sentence Alai said to me at night - I like to be with successful people.This made me feel sad for a while, and I actually yelled to the driver to stop, which was just right, but it seemed unnecessary, because there was a red light ahead.After passing the red light, the car continued to drive forward. Through the car window, I saw the China World Tower in the distance. The brown glass and the color of the sky echo each other, which is really magnificent.I asked the driver to stop the car in front of the China World Hotel, and I got out of the car.I paid the fare and walked forward. I think Alai has been washed clean by now, and she is sitting on the sofa waiting for me, brushing her hair with a comb with one hand.At this time, a white extended Lincoln drove past me calmly, turned a beautiful curved turn in front, and slowly drove into the berth. The child is gone.I was a little thirsty, and drank the Coca-Cola in my hand while walking, and when I drank half of it, it happened to be in a trash can, so I threw it in, and strode straight to the staff dormitory behind.

When I met Alai, it was exactly as I expected. What was frustrating was that Alai's husband made a long-distance call from Guangzhou when we were inseparable. The two chatted in English for an hour, talking about how to deal with them. The big stupid antique wardrobe and car maintenance at home, I was in a mixed mood, took two showers, drank five cans of beer, and when Alai hung up the phone, I said to her: "Leave" the factory Bar! " Alai lowered his head and thought for a while, and when he looked up, his eyes showed determination, and he said, "And then?" "And then and then." I said. "And then?" Alai looked at me, his tone a little discouraged. "marry me." "You really think so?" "real." "When did you think about it?" "just now." "Just now?" she repeated, seeming to stop talking, and when she stopped, she asked again. "When was it just now?" "When you put down the phone." Alai crawled back into the blankets, staring blankly at the roof. "Alai." I called her. "I forced you to say it?" "It's what I wanted to say." "you--" Alai hadn't finished speaking, two tears had come out of his eyes, and when the tears ran out, he stretched out his hand to me, and I held it back. "Alai, come with me." "How to go?" "Alay." "Don't call me." "I don't get it, what's so special about a Malaysian penis?" I yelled angrily. "That's funny," Alai said, raising his voice with glaring eyes at me. "Can you help me?" "I'm leaving." I strode out the door, reached the door of the unit, touched my pocket, and realized that I forgot to take out the gift for Alai, so I turned around and walked to the bed. "This is for you when I come." Alai opened the white satin jewelry box and took out the thin necklace. I touched her face with my hand. Alai's mouth opened, but there was no sound. I turned and walked away. When I walked downstairs, the pager rang at my waist. It was Alai who called me. I stopped for a while and continued walking. On the way from Guomao to Andingmen, the pager kept ringing. When I arrived at Andingmen, I smoked a cigarette. Decided to call back.I took off the phone and connected the line, and there was a long blind tone from the receiver. That was our last argument. It was also the first time I proposed to her. 249 Later, I met Alai several times, but they were all innocuous meetings. After each meeting, I felt that it would be better not to see each other.The last time was at 11:48 pm on April 8, 1995. I ran into her by chance. She told me that she was going to Malaysia the next day, and said that it would be difficult to see each other again. I remember she was a little nervous and a little excited , and finally told me that from now on, maybe we will never see each other again. She is an immigrant this time, and she didn't want to tell me. Later, she really left. That's all about Alli. 250 Alai, I admit that I love you, although I rarely mention it when we are together. Alai, it is not the fact that I love you that pains me, but something else, that you are still!This thing exists every day, and I feel like I'm sitting on pins and needles when I think of you and I living together in the world--it's disgusting, you have your own separate heart, separate breathing, and separate actions, all of which make me suffer, make me sigh for you, call I am sad. Sweet name, painful name, I bid you go.Beautiful eyes, sad eyes, I call you here -- you magically appear with all your contradictions and sighs.You have brought me ecstasy and trembling, you have filled me with unspeakable tenderness and unresolved despair. You are my sunlight quivering like yellow satin, you are my cool spring water, you are my shadow that I cannot capture, you are the fragments of flowers, you are the fragments of clouds, you are the fragments of sky, you are the dissipated smoke in the wilderness , you are the most beautiful white foam, you call me ecstasy, at the same time, you also call me grief. My cold milk, my lonely night, my slender strings, where are you?Are you thinking of me like I am thinking of you?Do you, like me, greet sharp separations with passion?Do you sleep silently reciting my name in the middle of the night?Do you feel joy and sweetness when you think of me?Are you thinking about meeting me day and night?When you make love, does your heart call my name?When you drive through the street, will you be terrified by the back of someone who looks like me, and tears will flow down your face?When we parted, would you long for the tenderness in memory?When you eat, do you think of the poor noodle soup we ate together in a small bowl?When you chat, do you think I'm sitting on the corner of the bed and listening?Have you ever dreamed about me?What did I look like in the dream?Will your soft voice be exchanged for enthusiasm and tenderness like mine?On your beautiful flower bed sheet, there is still the body temperature of our integration, can you feel it?Do you have a nice pair of satin shoes?The tape that was played that day is still inserted in the tape compartment of the tape recorder. Do you still remember which song it is?My beautiful long eyelashes, can you now know how much I love you?You know how I need you endlessly and never tire?My dark eyes, how many times have you smiled since you left me?When you laugh, do you really feel happy?My sweet little mouth, when you think again of the soft touches of kissing, will you seek any other tenderness?Remember the last time we had sex?Remember the sound of thunder?I tell you, there is thunder in the sky, you ask me, is it true?Did you later notice the violent storm outside the window?Every time you receive a call from me, is your hand shaking while grabbing the phone?After hearing my voice, is your heart as crazy as the sound it heard?My darling tears, my darling nights, my darling stillness, my darling autumns, my darling breasts, my darling voices, my darling ankles, my darling fingers, my darling waists, my darling Alai with short hair, do you hear my voice?Through the night, can you see my crazy eyes looking anxiously at your ubiquitous figure in the dark?In your dreams, can you feel my chapped lips, sucking hungrily the desperate love that radiates from you?Can your cheek be warmed by the flames of my tattered wings?can you still loveAre you Night Breeze with soul or body with soulless desire?Can you understand the language I speak just for you? My long black hair, my thin long hair, my crying long hair, my thick braid, my thin braid, my melancholy short hair, my trembling short hair, my countless Short hair, my orange, my turquoise, my sky blue, my gold, my silver, my moan, my boat, my wave, my withered chrysanthemum, my withered chrysanthemum, My broken vine, my indifferent butterfly, my sad dew, my bitter sea, my dumb fish, my bright autumn light, my long hair in my mouth, my only Long hair...Alai, I will call your name and roam the streets and alleys of Beijing, I will tell you to come with me, I will take you through a long time, I will tell you to close your eyes and call You forget your fears and you find peace and happiness. 251 I don't like being noticed when I'm sad, no matter what time it is, and there's really no particular reason for it, it's just that I don't like it. I know it's all a passing moment. I like Alai very much, and Alai always said that to me, don't tell anyone you have a bad day, don't tell anyone anything, because it won't help. I believe everything Alli says.