Chapter 4 If the voice does not remember (1-3)

[one] At the end of the corridor, just as the door was about to be opened, someone stepped outside first.In response to the sound of "squeak", the outdoor morning light swirled at Ji Ze's feet at an ever-expanding angle. The light hooked the man's side, leaving a thin, light-colored outline.The sound of cicadas outside leaked indistinctly from the remaining blank space around him. Like translucence. Looking at each other hastily, Yoshizawa walked past him and walked out of the hotel.The door closed behind him.Yoshizawa thinks this is the first day of the training camp?

Day 18. It's been 18 days and I still haven't spoken to him. Originally, he didn't expect Xintang Sheng to know him, although he still knew him.It's just that this understanding is light and thin. They only met a few times in the county's high school science tryouts, and once they happened to be seated next to each other.Knowing each other's names, occasionally meeting eyes, to this extent, if we say we know each other, it can be regarded as acquaintance, but strictly speaking, it is more like strangers who have met several times. No wonder he forgets.Fortunately Yoshizawa didn't care about this.What she cared about was the training camp, the national competition after the training camp, and the opponents who were arranged by the organizing committee to live in the same hotel, eat in the same restaurant, and take the same 30-day intensive course with her—from more than a dozen high schools in the county. There are more than forty top students here.It is an honor to stand out from the crowd, but it is a great pressure to stand out from the crowd.

Yoshizawa is used to being a proud crane, and he is unwilling to bend his slender neck here.Reading hard, sitting in a quiet classroom will make you feel flustered.That's how people are.On weekdays at school, I always complained that the classroom was too noisy. It is said that there is only the teacher’s voice here.torture. The strings were stretched so tight that one finally broke. During the noon break, Yoshizawa felt his stomach churn, and he had a bad premonition. After returning to the hotel at night, he vomited twice immediately. The water and food were emptied together, and his body was like a wilted leaf.sick.She didn't want to ask for leave to miss school, thinking about going to a nearby pharmacy to buy medicine.

The corridors of the hotel are equipped with voice-activated lights, which are not very sensitive on weekdays, and they are even more troublesome now.The soles of Ji Ze's feet were soft, and the steps he stepped out were silent, and the wall lamps along the road were turned off early.She didn't bother to care, and simply groped in the dark on the stairs.After finally going down from the third floor to the ground floor, I suddenly remembered that I forgot the room key in the house.This blow was quite heavy, and the last bit of strength was instantly drained away.She smiled wryly twice, and slowly slid to the ground.Don't want to move.

No way.Which hole does the portrait fall into.All you see is darkness, all you hear is silence.But darkness makes one unable to see anything, and silence also means one cannot hear anything.These emptiness contradictions seem to suddenly have a substance, turning into a brimming water, covering the feet, missing the waist, and finally covering the top of the head.What courses, opponents, competitions, pressure, all floating outside, looking at her without pain. interesting.Heigulongdong didn't make a sound, but felt relieved.Yoshizawa was feeling amused when someone opened the door on one side.

The door was closed softly, and the wall lamp finally turned on.The boy who entered was looking down at the things in his backpack.With eyes lowered in the light, the whole person is confused.After walking two steps and raising his head, his dark hair and light facial features emerged one by one just like the image on the negative. new church. Ji Ze wanted to say hello to him, but felt that his current state was a bit nonsensical.Just looking at Xintang, she was stunned when she saw herself sitting on the ground, paused for half a second, approached, bent down, and covered her hair with her hands.

"Jize - what's wrong with you." At the end of the 18th day of the training camp, I heard his first words.There are few syllables, and the sound seems transparent.Surprisingly, it turned out that Xintang still remembered her name, just like she remembered him. [two] Lying on the ground and looking sideways at the boy who was boiling water, he could only see his dark gray trouser legs, and his white socks were only visible when he lifted his feet.The gaze is upward, unable to turn over his shoulders, and finally stays on the neck to reveal a small piece of skin, which looks quite pale against the contrast of the hair.

Where are you looking, Yoshizawa scolded himself. His eyes turned back to the ceiling, the square lamp, after staring at it for a long time, his eyes hurt, so he turned away again.On the other side of the floor is his schoolbag and piles of materials.In the past, there was an unfamiliar men's backpack hanging on the armchair.Going forward, I saw the table that had been removed, with medicines, bowls and teacups scattered about.After circling around, he returned to Xintang's trousers. He turned his body sideways, and the gray color seemed to be lighter. "Thank you." Yoshizawa said.She thanked him a lot, including that Xintang found the hotel attendant to come to spare keys, that he helped him upstairs, that he bought medicine, and that he boiled water for himself now.Wait a minute, why boil water?I obviously boiled a pot yesterday.

"Is there no water, but I remember..." "It's too cold early, and I'll get sick again after drinking it." Without looking back, the voice hit the wall and came back again, sounding like a reproach. Ji Ze snorted, a little discouraged.I thought that although this person was careful, he was not very gentle.I could only continue to lie back and heard Xintang's footsteps walking on the straw mat. It was as if a fallen leaf had fallen carelessly, and the mat had extremely shallow ripples.He took two more steps, and the ground was filled with more quiet voices.The more real the voice was, the more indistinct it felt when I heard it, I wonder if I really missed it, fell into the crack of the mat, and got stuck softly.

As he was lost in thought, he felt footsteps approaching. The boy bent over and handed over a thermometer, and added, "I've already sterilized it with cotton." Ji Ze thought that he didn't even know that this thing had to be sterilized first, he just thought about it and didn't say anything.Take it and put it in your mouth. With the thermometer in his mouth, it looks like there is an extra pointer on everything, pointing to where.Xintang was at the end of the pointer, and when he heard the sound of water behind him, he turned around and pulled out the electric plug.Boiling water was poured into the cup, and he found another one, pouring water from one cup to another repeatedly.After more than a dozen times, it is probably not so hot. I was about to take a sip to test the temperature, but remembered that this was for girls, so I hurriedly braked and poured a few more times.

Seeing that the time was just right, I asked Yoshizawa to return the thermometer.She took out her mouth very carefully, lest there would be something disgusting like saliva coming out of it.Xintang didn't think so much. He took a look and found that he didn't have a fever, so he handed over the water and went to the table to look for medicine. "What kind of medicine did you buy?" Ji Ze wondered if he knew the cause of the disease. "I bought everything." He answered casually. "I bought the medicine for menstrual pain too?" A nagging thought suddenly popped up. "……No." As expected, his tone turned a corner. The comparison made Ji Ze want to laugh, so he endured it, and added: "I just have a stomachache, nothing else." "Hmm." He decided on his goal and opened a box. It turned out to be such a person.What kind of person, before leaving, twisted a wet towel and put it on the table, and turned off the light before going out.The room was pitch black, and when Xintang's footsteps sounded in the corridor, a narrow light immediately passed through the door.After the footsteps went away, the light disappeared.There is no room for sound, and darkness returns. Ji Ze thought, forgot to ask him which room he lived in.Ask again tomorrow. After waking up the next day, he was fine. Although he was still weak, Yoshizawa still insisted on going to class.Sitting in the seat, looking at Xintang through a row of figures, with his chin resting on his left hand, he was writing something in a book.The face that looked ambiguous last night was revealed in every possible way during the day.Like a paintbrush, the hair stretched out of the body violently.The eyes sank into the shadows, as if the light couldn't get in there, only to find a perch on the cheekbones and the tip of the nose.Then the whole face showed shocking and moving. She rolled her eyes. The classroom was filled with the voice of the teacher splitting formulas word by word. It was extremely quiet at the first moment, and then it became noisy at the next moment.The sounds of clouds, wind, breathing, leaves falling, dust migrating, birds wandering in the air, the sun changing, and many, many people's secret inner voices all arose in this silence... [three] I finally didn't ask him where he lived, and as soon as I let the thought go, it took nearly ten days to go.It wasn't deliberate, it's just that the training camp was coming to an end, and a mock test was arranged, but the test was not enough, so I heard that a ranking would be listed.Ji Ze felt that the journey was coming to an end, a nerve in his head was beating day and night, and everything seemed noisy to his ears.She was a little worried. The standard competition-type test papers are rarely frantic at the back end.The sound of detailed writing in the classroom scratched his mind, and he suddenly couldn't understand an analysis question.Ji Ze rubbed his eyes and unconsciously thrust his elbow to the side. Before he could react, the pencil case on the table made a free fall. There was a sharp and ear-piercing sound, and the huge silence in the classroom shattered in response. Her heart almost missed a beat, and she couldn't find it. Embarrassed and anxious, she bent down to pick up the things on the floor under the eyes of others.When he raised his head, he caught a certain temperature's gaze, walked over, and met Xintang's eyes.Dark ink, so black as to shine, it lightly landed on her face without moving away. Ruined.she thinks. Subsequent results announcements confirmed Yoshizawa's feelings.Mock tests ranked 33rd, close to the bottom.And Xintangsheng took the first place with almost full marks.Unusual boys, like the man in the moon.Ji Ze looked over from the ground, only to see a light spot hanging high.moon.She stared at it closely, and the small light spots cast in her eyes let the grievance and annoyance that had been biting for a day find an outlet to flow out.Finally couldn't help it, lying on the window sill of the hotel and crying fiercely. Tears flowed down, reflecting something.Something took root in the air and grew up like a vine. It is sound. "It's about to rain." The sound of Xintang, dyed the night, floated to my ears from downstairs. Ji Ze leaned forward and looked down. He was sitting by the window on the second floor facing his own window, with his arms spread out on the window sill, his back propped up, and his face raised, just in time to meet her gaze. No more asking him which room he stayed in. Looking at it from this angle, the blurred face has a clear outline, the facial features are vague, but the expression remains intact. These strange things are intertwined, scattered and floating under the moonlight, and get into Ji Ze's eyes little by little. , which casts a transparent shadow. I was stunned for a long time, and finally remembered that I should be angry: "...you are eavesdropping!" "I'm enjoying the cool." An innocent statement. "It's eavesdropping!" "It's to enjoy the cool." "It's eavesdropping!!" "It's to enjoy the cool." "It's eavesdropping!!!" "It's eavesdropping—" "It's enjoying the cool!!!!...Eh?" Ji Ze realized that he had fallen into a trap after he finished speaking, and when he heard the soft laughter downstairs, his face flushed instantly.Just as he was about to retract his body to end this strange conversation, he heard his next sentence. "Do you still want to cry?" He sat up straighter, always felt that there were still tears on his forehead, and raised his hand to wipe them, but there were none.Illusion. "I thought about it." Yoshizawa said honestly, sitting downstairs to comfort himself with the first place is actually more exciting. "Girl." Seemingly understanding, "Let me wash my face again." "You, what do you know?" Ji Ze was very angry, "I have been here for a month, and I am homesick and nervous. This country hotel is still so dilapidated, and the food served is unpalatable, even the pure udon noodles No, today's test—" "Want to eat?" A question came in unexpectedly. "what?" "If you want to eat udon noodles, wait for me downstairs." The tone rose slightly at the end of the sentence, which made her feel a smile waving over his eyebrows at the same time, hovering to the end, and then gently letting go. [Four] Walking on the night road for almost half an hour, I saw roadside stalls in the alleys, a small shed, covered by street lights, and a small curtain of "Jiuwenwu" hanging down.Ji Ze was a little surprised, and looked towards Xintang. He kept silent and led her forward. The two sat down on the bench in front of the booth. The boss was a middle-aged man, with a greasy smile, shining piece by piece. "Welcome—is it still soba noodles and peony cakes today?" he asked when he saw Xintang open his mouth.It seems he is a regular visitor. Seeing Yoshizawa, the man smiled deeper, and turned to Xintang: "It's great to introduce new friends." "Yeah." Xintang took two sets of chopsticks and a spoon and gave it to Yoshizawa, "give her udon noodles." "Ah, wait, wait, there are eel skewers, grilled squid, and tempura, right?" Yoshizawa didn't know the surrounding environment where the training camp was located, and he was going crazy eating the food served in the restaurant every day. "Yes, yes." The man was very happy. "All of it!" Ji Ze grinned. "I didn't say treat." Xintang took a look. "Hmph, I didn't expect it!" She was already very happy to find this place. Things were delivered quickly, Yoshizawa was so sad that he didn't have dinner today, he gorged himself and didn't care about his girlish demeanor.Xintang glanced at her sometimes, thinking he was about to laugh, so he lowered his head and drank the soup. The water was both sour and sweet, and it was very comfortable. At night when cicadas are no longer noisy, the cry of frogs can be heard in the distance, rhythmically, approaching the side, making people feel the taste of summer.The time of the day and the place, all breathe quietly, the shadow points to the end, and the lotus floats in the river pond.What is supposed to come will always come, pass through the shadows, step over the buds, scatter in the wind, one piece turns into three pieces, three pieces turn into nine pieces, just like this, the moonlight is on the moon, on the moon man sitting beside. Xintang sat next to him.People with tall legs and long legs have to arch their shoulders on this stool.The outline of a person looks smaller and the impression is deeper.The lines on the body are continuous, the light blunts at a certain angle, and cuts sharply across the edge of the body at a certain place.The white shirt is soaked in the warm yellow light, which makes people feel like Panasonic in their hearts. She paused, tilting her head to rest on his shoulder. The boy was taken aback, his arms tightened for a moment, and then let go again. "You're a nice person," said Yoshizawa. "..." "Help me so much, why?" Looking at it from another angle, the wooden roof of the roadside stall cuts obliquely across the sky, and half of the stars shone tens of billions of years ago. "...I think you look familiar." Yoshizawa laughed.Such a corny joke coming out of his mouth would make it seem like it might be true. real or fake?It doesn't matter anymore. If you walk alone at night, you must not dare to walk on weekdays, and it is an unfamiliar place, so it is hard to say that it is not dangerous.Only this time it's different.Shindo was behind Yoshizawa, and the two walked slowly as if they were taking a walk. The countryside is also as good as the countryside. The trees are dense in the distance, and the simple houses are sparsely scattered. A ramp disappears behind the turn, and the flat roof of the hotel can be seen.A piston was pushed down at some point, and Yoshizawa suddenly wanted to say a lot. "When I was young, I went back to her hometown with my mother and went to the countryside from the city. I liked it very much. There was a hillside behind my grandma's house, full of dandelions. When the wind blew, it was like rain. For the first time, I felt what is called a fairyland. Since then I thought dandelion was the most beautiful flower since I was a kid, isn’t it silly? Later, when I grew up, I never saw the dandelion rain like that again, but I started to dislike going to the countryside, and felt that life would be inconvenient and people would be suffocated if they didn’t have information. This time When I came to the training camp, my mind was full of competitions and competitions, and I only did my review at night, and I never thought of going out of the hotel to take a look." Yoshizawa stopped and bowed to Xintang, "So today, thank you very much. " "Well, you're welcome." He answered seriously word by word. "Then, treat me tomorrow." She giggled. "No." He said firmly. "Tch, then, change it to the day after tomorrow." "The training camp is over the day after tomorrow." "Ah, that's right." Ji Ze was quite disappointed and kicked away a stone under his feet.After Gu Lu Gu Lu rolled away, he was intercepted by two figures who suddenly appeared from the fork in the road.Before she could understand, she saw one of them reaching out to pinch her neck, while the other rushed to deal with Xintang. If you meet robbers, you will suffer. [Fives] How it all started and how it ended, they were in a mess in his head, Yoshizawa couldn't figure it out at all.All she remembered was that when the two men rushed over, Xintang suddenly blocked her ears with his hands behind him. The slender and cold fingers were clamped tightly.She was about to raise her head in panic, only to see his jaw rising and falling as he said something. ` What he said, Yoshizawa couldn't hear.But the two prisoners in front of them suddenly screamed in horror and fled without warning.She was still dazed in shock, when Xintang grabbed her and ran desperately towards the hotel.Stumbling all the way, the already chaotic thinking became even more dilapidated. what's the matter. "What did you say to them?" Stopping in front of the hotel, he was gasping for breath, and the words jumped out of his throat eagerly. Xintang didn't answer, and walked past her into the corridor.The wall lamps were turned on all the way.The long and narrow shadow folds at the intersection of the wall and the floor. Ji Ze chased him in and called him to stop. "What the hell did you say?" He stopped in his tracks: "I said they were entangled by poisonous snakes, and it's important to run for their lives as soon as possible." "Nonsense." Ji Ze didn't believe it at all, "Don't talk nonsense!" "That's what I said." "Answer me well!" Standing back and forth with him, the corridor became silent after her questioning, and Ji Ze saw his own shadow hanging slantingly towards his feet.Bright, dark, long, and short, all flow in this silent space, evaporate slowly, and then turn into rain and fall, and the cycle goes on and on, and there is still no sound at all. After a prolonged silence, the wall lamp went out. In the darkness, Yoshizawa knew that Xintang was still a few steps away from him, and that there was an answer to the border, but he couldn't get out.Suddenly their world was only as small as this corridor, more than one meter wide and two meters high, with no sound or light.But when he made a sound, the world changed back to being infinitely bigger. "My voice... can give people hints." "Huh?" The lights in the corridor turned on, but Ji Ze's heart slowly darkened. "When I speak, I can give strong psychological hints to others, making them believe in the illusion I said." He turned around and looked into Ji Ze's eyes, "It's like a super power." "...Are you kidding me?" Seeing every bit of depression on his face, like pen and ink melting in the light, getting lighter but deeper into the bones, Ji Ze shook his head, "Stop talking nonsense." He stopped trying to defend himself, took a deep breath, and slowly exhaled: "Jize—a cat ran past your feet." Words and sentences, syllables and intonations are rolled into cloth and wrapped around the body, and the nerve endings run with boiling blood.Following his voice, Ji Ze saw the black cat passing arrogantly, its tail brushed against his ankle, and ran to the other end of the corridor. She screamed. Where did the cat come from. "It's just an illusion." The voice sounded again.There are no plum blossom footprints in the corridor in front of you, nothing else.Her legs suddenly weakened, and she stood firmly against the wall.Xintang on the opposite side looked tired, his hair covering his eyes moved, and he turned around and walked up the stairs. The heavy breath was raised in the consciousness, squeezed in the wakingness that she had left. In fact, I used to think that people like that, like the man on the moon, with good grades and looks that can make girls whisper, why are they sitting together in the same classroom. It turned out that she was different from ordinary her after all.A word, a series of voices, create a weird reality, and the fake can become real, whatever you say is what you say, the cat ran past, it is more real than the real.It's really scary. She is scared. [six] When I ran into him in the hotel in the morning, I lowered my head and ran away as if flying.Footsteps slapped in the corridor, and the light shone on his hurried shadow.It wasn't until he got out of the gate that Ji Ze stopped and pulled his hair in anger. Where did the fear come from, I couldn't even press it down.She hated herself for being like this.But that fear was an instinct, a natural reaction, and she couldn't control it.Yoshizawa didn't want to avoid him at all.Although Xintang looks cold, he is actually very gentle.There should be a different temperature in his heart, the kind of warmth that will soak open pores when you put your hands in it.How often did I touch it, but now I seem to have forgotten it. Forgot? Doubts lingered in his heart, his arms turned sideways meaninglessly, and the pencil case on the desk was smashed to the ground again.Ji Ze was stunned. Almost identical shots. Now even the teacher stopped moving, and many people looked at her with a smile of "it's you again". When Yoshizawa picked up the things, he subconsciously looked at Xintang. But he stared indifferently at the front, propped his chin with his left hand, and his eyes stopped at the distance of the classroom, scattered in a long way.Undisturbed as if nothing had happened. In the same lens, there is something different.A small piece of debris was stuck in Ji Ze's heart, and it hurt sharply. On the last day of the training camp, only a summary meeting will be held.The Yoshizawa hotel returned late, and there was an endless stream of returning students along the way.By the time she left with her luggage, the corridor was already quite quiet.Going down to the second floor, I saw a familiar figure. Xintang had just closed the door with his bag on his shoulders, and when he saw Yoshizawa, he stood still.The expression is indifferently restrained, cold far behind the light. But he is a gentle and good man.In fact, she has always known, in fact, she has never forgotten. Yoshizawa was silent, and neither was Shindo.Until the wall lamp goes out again.In the darkness, whose voice once evaporated here, was breathed into the body by someone, and then became someone's sentence to speak out. Ji Ze's words are too light to touch the ground, and too small to fly into the sky.Under the subtlety of her efforts, the wall lamp and the floor cannot be heard, only she and Xintang can hear it. "Let's go along the way, can we walk together." A silky voice lingered in his ears. Darkness remains.Some things shine. There was a sound of footsteps behind him, and a student walked by with luggage on his back.The lights turned on following his steps, allowing Yoshizawa to see Shindo's face.As usual calm face, but different from usual.I can't tell where there is an extra millimeter, and where there is two microns cut off, making the expression at the corner of the eye even more inconspicuous. It's a gratifying smile.Too shallow to even be called a laugh.It's just that the mood falls on the balance of the eyebrows, subtly changing its balance, where it is higher and where it is lower.But even so subtle, Yoshizawa still felt it. "Okay," he replied. When she left the hotel first, Xintang closed the door behind her, and there was no one around, and the shadows of the two of them slanted one long and one short in the sunlight.He suddenly frowned slightly and shouted: "Jize--" "Huh?" The girl turned her head, looked at Xintang's dark pupils, and became nervous.He stood under the shade of a bright green tree, dyed with unreal light from head to toe, and the wind flowed slightly through his hair, making him seem a little more transparent.Fortunately, the sound is clear.It's so clear. Xintang looked into Yoshizawa's eyes and said word by word: "Look, Dan Gong Ying's - rain, it's really heavy - isn't it..." Where the sound came from, the sky cracked a transparent gap and scattered fluffy water droplets.As it fell closer, I realized that it was not rain, but dandelions fluttering in my eyes.Lighter than snowflakes, denser than raindrops, until it seems that the seeds of the entire universe have been sifted down to fill up all the voids. The world becomes silent and delicate, and the heaven and earth are pure white like the beginning of creation.Yoshizawa Tamao and Shindo-san stood under the heavy rain of dandelions, looking softly at each other—— I'm like in your voice, like all of you. I am in everything about you and hear your voice. [one] The palms of other people's palms are folded.An insignificant little piece of stress.Iron it warm. The girl's fingers are soft and warm.Yoshizawa squeezed them hard, and the friends around him woke up. "It's all over, still sleeping!" Ji Ze urged her with a smile. The girl hurriedly grabbed her schoolbag and rushed off the tram, then stood outside the window and shouted to Yoshizawa to see you tomorrow.Ji Ze waved his hand, and the sun was shining and darkening in front of his eyes. The palms of other people's palms were folded, reminding her of Xintang Sheng. He also fell soundly asleep on the return bus, which made Yoshizawa's initial nervousness a little ridiculous.Fortunately, she held her breath before, in order to make her appearance of puffing out her chest and abdomen look more natural, but he fell asleep within two stops. The car was driving on the country road, bumping from time to time. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Xintang Weiwei trembling hair. Someone was chatting behind him, not loudly, but Yoshizawa could still hear them clearly.Most of the topics are about travel, the good air in the countryside and so on.Even she began to feel drowsy after hearing what she hadn't heard, and suddenly a female voice shouted, "There are wild geese over there."Ji Ze was stunned, turned his head to look, and was facing the profile of Shang Xintang. Eyelashes in close-up. She jerked her gaze away.In fact, I knew it when I got in the car. Xintang was sitting by the window, and Yoshizawa was in the row next to the aisle. If you want to look out the window, you will definitely see his face.That's why I randomly clicked around aimlessly all the way, deliberately avoiding a certain area.It's just that I accidentally forgot, and I suffered a bit of embarrassment. However, what is there to be embarrassed about. Yoshizawa was still thinking wildly, the car turned a sharp turn, and Shindo's right hand resting on his lap slipped down and covered her left hand. Palm upon palm. True stillness.Outside the car window are two vast farmlands.There is a light mist under the twilight.The car seems to be floating on the endless sea.Most of the passengers have fallen asleep, their breathing is thick and thick, and the blood vessels are intertwined, so it is difficult to feel the existence of time.Only a small piece of it remained, silently hiding in the gap between the two palms. That thin, warm time. Just remembered it for more than a month.Ji Ze was helpless.After all, the training camp is over, and she and Xintang return to their respective positions, and it is absolutely impossible to meet without a special opportunity.What's more, there is no reason to meet.What is it between them? Classmates—not to mention, friends—don't get close, insisting on breaking something out, Yoshizawa thought of his voice. An incredible sound that can create hallucinations before the eyes of the listener.He said "cat", and she saw "cat", and he said "dandelion", and she stood among the seeds all over the sky.Inadvertently breaking into his circle, she became "the one who holds the secret of the other party".It sounds mysterious enough, but it is a position that can be big or small, and it doesn't fit anywhere. Yoshizawa really wanted to ask Shindo, "Where did you put me?"Although she knew that such words could only be speculated to kill time in her heart, if she really wanted to ask him, it was absurd to think about it.But it's just thinking about it, thinking about it for more than thirty days. Can I ask. [two] The days after the summer vacation were even hotter.The clouds are like a layer of warm quilt, tightly blocked.Ji Ze was looking forward to the rain every day, but the sun outside became more and more rampant as if it was against him.There were no shade trees on the way to the bookstore, and I felt that my soul was vaporizing. When I saw the newly opened coffee shop on the side of the road, my eyes were green, and I rushed over. The air conditioner is powerful.Come alive.Yoshizawa felt embarrassed when he gradually heard the blues hovering in the space in his head.I don't have any spare money to go here.Not wanting to go out, but also embarrassed to stay, just stood there stupidly. The waiter said from behind: "Does this guest need anything?" "Aha? Ha, I—" Ji Ze waved his hands nervously and turned around while making excuses. The uniforms of the coffee shop are dark brown, and the people's faces look as if they have been washed white. So Xintang looked a little more haggard than a month ago.Yoshizawa hoped that was just an illusion given by the uniform.The original saying of being haggard may not be accurate. Standing under the dim light, Xintang cannot simply say that he is thin or tired.It's just that in the straight dark brown, his expression was sliced ​​into thin slices and hung colorlessly. "—It's you." He was quite surprised, his eyes softened, and he smiled, "What a coincidence." ah ah.What a coincidence. Yoshizawa hadn't recovered from the shock of seeing him before he was lured to a corner by Shindo, and ordered a cup of coffee from the menu he handed over, and even added a small piece of cake, totaling 5,700 yen.I ran out of money to go to the bookstore. It's too late to regret.Think of it as spending money to buy a lesson.Ji Ze poked the bottom of the coffee cup with a small spoon, and the sound of the porcelain touching each other was slightly astringent and whirled slightly.In a larger environment, the blues volume has soft vocals, and everything is quiet. Sometimes Xintang bows to see off guests, sometimes leads others, and the rest of the time goes to nowhere, and Ji Ze can't see it.It turned out that he was still working.As if I discovered something again.Immediately, I felt that this idea was really boring, so what happened to working part-time. Not much, just being able to see him, I felt something in my body suddenly quiet down.The clear blood vessels go straight to the heart one by one. —he is real.Those memories that are stuck in the past and become impossible to examine are all true.Before meeting him this time, Yoshizawa once suspected that he was just dreaming like a cartoon: an excellent boy, like on the moon, his voice can create illusions, and his palms feel slightly cold.Can't believe it, can't you.What to believe.If a song has not been sung for a long time, people doubt whether it has been passed down; if a poem has not been read for a long time, people doubt whether it has been lyrical; Not fantasy.All true.He talks, walks, stoops, and stands upright.When I saw it again, I knew it was all true. It was almost dusk when I checked out and went out, and the sun was much softer. I wanted to say a few words to Xintang before leaving, but I couldn't find him around, so I could only leave sleepily.Turning to the small road behind the coffee shop, I saw Xintang pushing the door open and carrying a large bag of garbage to be thrown away.The sleeves were rolled up, but the tie was still on.Yoshizawa stopped. "Are you still working?" "Well, I went to a private school." He bent down to stack the black garbage bags, and his two shoulder blades were clearly visible in the large white shirt behind him. "You know, tuition is not cheap." "It's very hard." Ji Ze's father refused to let her help with the store, saying that it would delay her study.Thinking of this, he became angry with Xintang again: "You work part-time and study at the same time, can you have energy?" "Squeeze yourself." "Oh." She rolled her eyes, "Perhaps you are using your voice to hint that the teacher will leak the questions to you." His gaze swept over quickly, and he said coldly, "That's a good idea." Yoshizawa was annoyed by his fast talk and wanted to make amends. Seeing Xintang looking around, he hurriedly asked, "Looking for something? Do you want me to help?" He didn't answer, just magically took out a cat food bowl from behind, squatted down, and knocked on the ground.Dangdang, Dangdang.Ji Ze suddenly realized, and then heard a "meow" from the corner. After two or three pauses, a big fat cat of three suits jumped out. "You raised it?" I couldn't figure it out. "Everyone takes turns taking care of the ones raised in the shop." Xintang stroked the cat's head to see that it was eating comfortably. "Do you have a name?" Ji Ze also squatted down, and the cat looked at her vigilantly, then returned to its arrogance, and ate it on its own. "Oda." "Wow, Oda-sama, you are so majestic." There was a purr in the cat's throat, which made Yoshizawa reach out to touch it. "Be careful, it bites." It was a step too late, Oda-kun turned his head and took a bite at Yoshizawa's finger.Xintang watched the girl startled because of frustration, and smiled slowly.Ji Ze looked at him quite aggrieved, but he smiled deeper and reached out to rub her hair. The sunshine behind Xintang is like a gentle little animal, with a furry snort, surrounding it. [three] I didn't go to the coffee shop after that.There is no reason.More importantly, there is not so much money.This kind of thing can't be rushed, Ji Ze comforted himself, at least he knew where he was.Just know it. The days when the Xintang was not seen were indeed still peaceful, as if there was no possibility of any miracle happening.go home after school.Getting off the tram, I used to turn left, go uphill, and walk down the road with my eyes closed, but today because of a big guy that suddenly jumped out, I suddenly stopped Yoshizawa on the road.She fixed her eyes and saw clearly.Cat.A big fat cat named "Oda".Came here. The guy seemed to know her, looked at Yoshizawa, and then spread his legs away.Ji Ze thought that this guy probably escaped privately, so he chased after him without much thought.As long as you grasp it, you can naturally step into the shop where Xintang works. Easier said than done.Halfway through the road, it rained heavily, and thunder crackled overhead.The worse the environment was, the more Yoshizawa became ruthless as if he was chasing the answer to physics. He fought the cat recklessly, and when he finally stopped it, both the cat and the man were soaked. Xintang saw the girl standing awkwardly in front of the store, holding the demented cat in her hand, but with a bright smile on her face, and she understood what was going on.He took the towels from the store and opened the door to let her in.The old towel was wiped for the cat, and the new one was thrown on Yoshizawa's head. "Are you pretending now?" Ji Ze saw that there was no one else in the store. "Yeah. I closed the store first when I received the power outage notice." After Shindo sat down, Oda tacitly jumped onto his lap.Covering his body with a towel, Xintang wrapped it inside and rubbed it carefully. "Is there going to be a power outage? What time?" Ji Ze thought not to be too fast. "There is still an hour." He stood up while talking, and the cat jumped back to the ground, shaking its body, and part of its fur returned to fluffy. "What coffee do you drink?" "Ah... I didn't bring any money." Ji Ze blushed, feeling quite embarrassed. "No, I'm afraid you'll catch a cold. It's better to drink something hot. I'll treat you." There was a smile in his voice, and Yoshizawa raised his head to confirm that Xintang had already lowered his eyes. "Then...then I want a cup of each!" "You're so beautiful." Seeing clearly this time, she was really smiling. Because of the heat of the coffee, the palm of his hand turned pale red. After taking a sip, the thin stream of warmth gradually disappeared in his body.Heavy rain was pouring outside the window.The noise of the world is like a kind of silence.There are contradictions everywhere.If there are invisible and colorless emotions inflated in a large space, it is crowded.The light in the distance completely melts and casts in the pupils, which are two groups of dark colors.Yoshizawa watched Shindo in the aroma of coffee, he was standing by the counter flipping through the newspaper, sometimes when Oda scratched his ankle, he stopped and kicked it lightly. "It's going to be the trials for the national competition soon." Yoshizawa said. "Ok." "I will definitely be number one." "Is it." 语气里有笑意，让吉泽感觉恼火，她腾地站起来走向他：“我告诉你呀，你别以为自己永远是最——”打断了她的是一声怪异的惨叫，恐怖片似的骇人。吉泽猛地哆嗦——原来是踩到了织田的前肢。她条件反射般移开腿，却破坏了自身的平衡，端着咖啡杯就摔下去。 新堂反应很快，伸手去扶，却连自己也被殃及。垫着她的腰，两人一起跌坐在地上。 “啊啊！”左手一阵刺痛，吉泽赶紧摊开掌心——长长的伤口与生命线平行，小血珠不断往外冒着。她无限懊恼扭头想对新堂抱怨，却发现他狠狠皱起眉头。顺着他的视线看过去，吉泽哑然——新堂的右手掌上扎满了咖啡杯碎片。 吉泽无意识地握了握左手。自己的疼痛的嘈杂。 以及他的嘈杂的疼痛。 One left and one right. [Four] 雨声里是带着味道的。 吉泽觉得可以伸手握住它。 只是只能用右手了，左边那个缠着纱布。 东西是新堂从店里找来的。他的情况比吉泽的糟糕，血大滴大滴地延长了滑落的轨迹。两人各自包扎，吉泽本想帮忙他，新堂的动作反而快过自己。等他取出所有碎片绕上纱布后，吉泽还在这边对着一团粗一团细的成果犯愁。 “你啊。笨手笨脚。”新堂摇摇头走过来，握住吉泽的左手。 “……脑袋好就行了！”吉泽脸上一阵快过一阵的烧。 太近了。 他低下头，头发就几乎擦到自己的刘海，呼吸从上方均匀落下，小小一块的热，不偏不倚。而手掌摊在面前，微弱的电流四下窜行。 即便隔着胡乱的纱布，也能感觉到他的体温。新堂专注地把它们拆走后，真切的触觉就迅速复苏。他的掌心还是微微发冷，衬出她突兀的热度。左右手并用时，纱布或是皮肤依次蹭过吉泽的手背。清晰的痒，清晰的凉。吉泽的视线里有什么东西正在抽丝，细微的异变。 呐，你把我摆在什么地方？ 吉泽抬头注视着新堂。他察觉了，疑惑地回看过来。 Where? 吉泽动了动嘴唇，声音就在喉咙口悬着。看不见前头的出路，又回不去萌发的起点。进退维谷。 “呐，你……怎么会有那种能力的？”还是绕开了话题。 “不知道。生下来就有了。”他一边回答一边为整个绷带最后系上结。见大功告成，挺满意。 “你这事要是让坏人知道了可不得了呢。”这句是早就想说的。 新堂沉默了片刻，收拾了剩余的纱布走向过道：“有可能吧。” “好象你都不太使用这种能力。” “……嗯，我不允许自己滥用它。” “还有别人知道么——” “吉泽。”他打断，“快停电了，我们该走了。” "Oh." 应该还有别人知道吧。 新堂把织田抱回它那安置在柜台后的住处，又去更衣室换下了制服，随后拿过雨伞回到吉泽面前，说要送她一程。吉泽想来没理由可拒绝。雨太大，没伞走不了。就点点头。 门帘卡啦啦地合在身后，新堂撑开伞，举过吉泽头顶。两人淌着满街的大水向前走。拐过一丁目，积水越发深，吉泽脚像泡在鞋里的菜，垮垮垮地出着怪声。难受死了。雨顺着伞的弧度垂落下直线，她的左胳膊迅速湿开。 “你抓着我。”新堂示意她靠近些。吉泽就侧侧身，抬手挽住新堂的胳膊，两人挤得紧了。 四只手凑到一块，两只缠着纱布。 他的右手，和她的左手。几乎成一对。 纷扰沦陷在大雨里，世界只有路面上现出的一片白茫。声音从四面八方占领，爬过伞骨，蔓向伞柄，覆住两人的手，左和右。 “难兄难弟似的。”吉泽说。 这场大雨接连下了两天三夜。像是憋得慌了，把没下的都一口气下完。雨天有许多不便，加上自己的左手受伤，要撑伞要提包的总觉得为难。可吉泽还是喜欢，雨，天地统一的快感。只有凝固般的水气，和一片雨声。 她希望手能早点好。又不希望比新堂好得更快。它们是一对儿受伤的。 这是再女孩子不过的想法了。一主观就说不清。那就别说了。大雨天，什么问题都被冲垮怠尽。吉泽继续考虑学业，新教授的定理把抛物线变得更复杂，两个起伏的浪。 当初集训所针对的全国竞赛选拔赛就在两个星期后，吉泽不想在浪上翻船。只想胜利到彼岸。起码，不能输给新堂。吉泽用手指划过已经愈合的伤口，细腻的痒。 [Fives] 然而出乎意料的是新堂只排在全县预选赛的第十五位，勉强才够上进入复赛的资格。这让吉泽非常吃惊，她自己领着第八的好成绩在学校大会上被校长反复表扬了数遍，却又来不及沾沾自喜。 放学后找到新堂打工的咖啡屋，被告之他最近都请假，似乎在学校里忙着复习。 吉泽知道新堂就读于“私立樱丘高中”的种种，算是全县里数一数二的名牌学校。吉泽当初也想往那里考，只不过自从姐姐病逝后家里的经济来源全靠着爸爸的小水果店，要进那类私立学校，光学费就会让家里背上不小的负担，所以她才转读了公立的富士见高中，学习稳稳地扎在全校前三里，也就忘了当初的遗憾。 不过看着满目的绿意，在梧桐树梢被渐传渐远，吉泽还是很羡慕。有这等规模绿化的学校，在全县也很少见。 她就这样找了过来。不管不顾的。 已是放学后，但自己一身富士见的校服打扮还是引来不少人的注意，吉泽低头疾走，在校舍底层的鞋箱前想通过名牌找到新堂所在的班级。虽然不肯定他就在教室。 “二年A班”，“新堂”，这儿。 这儿。纤细的铅笔字，点，横，点点，横。留下他的名字。喊一声，有谁答应。空气中花朵扎根，无数的蒲公英种子飞舞，阳光那样妩媚，雨水漫过山谷。轮回有声，因缘无声，有声与无声错综复杂。吉泽反复着他的名字，心里突然爆发出无尽的委屈和伤感的温柔。 乌鸦嘴猜准了，他果然不在班上，只有两个值日生正在打扫卫生，看见吉泽了就问她的来意。 “哦，新堂君啊……可能在保健室吧。” “他病了？”吉泽挺紧张。 “手受伤了。” “……哦。还没好？”看见对方困惑的目光又赶紧解释，“嗯，我的意思是，手，受伤应该挺快就好了吧。” “不一定啊，他这次似乎伤得挺重，上次参加竞赛时都没法用右手答题呢。” 所以才拿了第十五位。是自己害的。 懊恼是开了闸的水，把吉泽毫不客气地泡开。她的错，就是她的。自己牵连他受伤，却又比他更快痊愈。拿了第八位，这算什么第八位。鼻子没骨气，一阵发酸。感到有人拍拍肩。回头，看见新堂，瞳孔里映着自己的小人。手上还缠着绷带。 “你怎么来了？”他挑起眉毛，随后越过她走进教室。 “抱歉。”等新堂拿着书包走回自己面前时，吉泽低下头去。 “抱歉？”他不解。 “……你的手，我害得你这次大赛……”说不下去了。鼻子酸到了终点。 “啊……反正也进了复赛，没什么。”说罢就朝外走，吉泽跟过去。 脚下踏着他的影子，灰色的，模模糊糊向前移动。吉泽绞着手指，反反复复地不安。直到他人突然停了下来，吉泽没注意，一头撞上去。新堂指指边上的超市说要去买些东西。 [six] 他走出移动门时，吉泽正在店前一下下地踢着台阶。等新堂走近，见他左手抱着满满当当的苹果，一瞬像闻到了香味。 新堂没有说话。吉泽以为他还在生气，心里既着急又伤心，一遍遍重复着道歉的说词。新堂听多了，觉得有些无奈，到一个上坡坡顶时终于停下：“我没在意。你别想太多了。” But. “这点小事而已。” 可是这点小事。 “我对这些不会放在心上。” 可是这点小事你不会放在心上。 “你别那么内疚，也不怪你。” 那它在哪里呢。它被摆在哪里呢。就像我一样。 “我在哪里呢？” 新堂在几步前愣住。几步前的一个浅色轮廓。 “我被你摆在哪里呢？” 他的眼睛缓慢地收紧。 站在坡顶。下坡尽头是横截而过的街，车辆穿流不息一派热闹。只有这里维持无声。吉泽抓着胸前的书包带，手指抵着心脏。跳动的声音，不顾一切地传过皮肤。听从审判般的不顾一切。 新堂迟迟地不知说什么。直到感觉托着苹果的左手吃不出力，下意识地要换右手。一阵伤口引发的疼，闷闷地打过来。他右手一松。 袋子往地上掉。他赶紧换左手托住，还是不少鲜红色的水果一路朝坡下滚去。 三三两两的，飞快。撞到吉泽脚边，改变了方向后，继续朝下滚。 女生几乎立即扭头追去。吉泽想在它们滚到下坡的路上被汽车碾坏前截住。 下坡路上会有汽车。吉泽很清楚。 会撞上她的。新堂方才意识到。 “吉泽！”他慌忙地喊她。只看见她的身影沿着坡道往下奔跑，他被紧张钳住了动作，动弹不得。 一声刺耳的刹车。新堂的脸有瞬时被雷击中般的苍白，才冲了下去。 看见女生抱着两个苹果，脚下还夹着一个，坐在地上如梦初醒。大货车司机冲她骂了两句，扬长而去。她吓得两眼无神，满头是汗，回看向跑过来的男生。 “你没大脑么？怎么这么轻重不分呢？苹果和人命哪个更重要，不明白吗？！”几乎是暴跳如雷。 吉泽的嘴唇咬得没有血色。想动，手指中了毒似地发麻。脑袋沉沉地，连做什么表情都反映不了。新堂才意识到自己说错了话，伸手想拉她。却看见她闭合着嘴唇，出不了声。 又受惊吓又被责骂，不能出声了。 吉泽抬眼看他，努力地要发出半个音节，但喉咙里堵着什么，脑海盘踞着巨大的黑夜，竟然一点声音也发不出。新堂扶过她的肩，冷静不起来，捧着她的脸： “没什么的，吉泽，我不是怪你。你好好的，就最好了。” 女生卡着自己的喉咙，想咳嗽，也还是发不出一丝声音。周围人看着她目光好奇，指指点点，令她越加惶恐不安，拼命地想说句话，却只听见徒劳无功的哑声。她的眼泪急速地流过新堂的手指。 十分清晰的热度。覆住指尖。 新堂咽了咽喉咙，把吉泽抱在怀里。 他的声音，制造幻觉的声音，逐字逐字地传进她的耳朵： “吉泽，没有人的，这里——谁也没有——。只有我和你啊——只有我们两个。” 没有人的，连城里最多的乌鸦也没有了；没有人的，连树上的虫叫也没有了；没有人的，撒水车也消失不见。寂静空旷的街巷，只有新堂和自己，从拥抱里，触摸到那个无限委屈的声音。 她终于竭力地哭出声。 路上有行人停下看着这对男女生，微笑着经过他们身旁。有些动人的场景，发生在看得见，听不见的地方——新堂宽慰地亲吻着吉泽的额头。 我把你摆在哪里呢。 “你在我心里最重要的地方。” [one] “扑吱……” 窗边传来一阵古怪的虫鸣。好似橡皮擦过玻璃。吉泽探头。 夏天最后一只金龟子，正用带倒刺的腿挂住西瓜皮，传来节律的鸣声。吉泽伸手把它轻而易举地夹住。硬质光泽的壳，如同小枚斑斓的磁石。它蹬腿胡乱挣扎一会，依旧被关进了塑料瓶。吉泽又顺带掰了些西瓜皮碎片塞进去。 天然的、小小的声源。 去厨房洗手时想起新堂曾经问自己“你怎么就确定这就是最后一只了呢？”自己当时怎么答的？好象特肯定的说“我就是知道啊”。只记得新堂微笑着摇摇头。他不信呢。吉泽也不争辩。本来也是，为什么会知道？明明在“最后一只金龟子”后，总会有下一只的。 可天还是持续凉下去。It's autumn.夏天只余一截尾巴。 吉泽不喜欢这个。没法喜欢吧。对别人来说，西瓜落市，花火大会闭幕，动听的昆虫们成批死去……全是无关紧要的细节。但对吉泽而言，三年前的夏末，姐姐去世，爸爸受不了打击病倒，随后每到这个时段都可能病发。看，实打实的沉重，没一桩是动人的。 也不全对。又或许，还有一桩。 等新堂收拾妥当，从咖啡屋推门而出。看见吉泽蹲在路灯下和织田大肥猫玩得热闹，上前喊她一声，吉泽抬头，起身跟过去。两人并行走。灯光留下间歇的橘黄色域，飞虫扑打灯罩的声音浮现在暗天光里。 哪天起，吉泽参加了学校的提高班，结束时正赶上新堂打完工，就多走两步绕去等他，结伴成双。同行的路不长不短。过五、六条街，总共二十多分钟而已。 穿越闹市区时，隔三差五的，总有迎面而来的路人把他们分开。吉泽就在人和人中间张望着新堂。途中经过一个地铁站，有时一辆地铁刚刚放完客，人群河水般涌上地面。吉泽逆人流前行，脚步迟缓下来。直到寻过来的新堂对她摊开手掌。 好似一张书写完美的邀请函。吉泽把手指叠放上去。一团触觉。 惟一动人的事，又或许，最动人的事。 她的心情无限轻松，拉扯着新堂的胳膊说要唱佐藤亚纪子的老歌给他听。他转了转眼睛，“你还能唱歌？——”被吉泽一个手肘捅过去。他垂眼暗笑着不再言语。吉泽反而突然想不起歌词，就当是赖掉了。新堂露出一脸“我就知道”的微笑。 同行的路上。植在人家院子里的夹竹桃谢成模糊的暗影，树叶在安静的小道上沙沙作响。虫声已然快要绝迹。安静如同海水从两侧绕过。声音们被迅速稀释。新堂握着吉泽的手。两人的影子拉得又轻又长。 所以今年夏天对吉泽来说，与往年是不同的。当然也因为全国竞赛的决赛改天就要在外县举行了。她天天晚上在屋里苦斗习题。金龟子在瓶里有时装死，附着西瓜皮蜷成一团。吉泽拿过瓶子摇两下，看它故作镇定地持续伪装，觉得十分好笑。 没准这真是夏天里最后一只金龟子了。 [two] 叮嘱完父亲吃药时的注意事项，又去姐姐的牌位前拜了拜。时间已经显得很紧张。出门时又想起忘带学生手册，急急忙忙折返回去。一不留神，装金龟子的塑料瓶被掀落掉在窗外。没时间捡回来了，吉泽有些懊恼。 “很有你的风格。”等在门前的新堂这样评论。 吉泽二话不说将手中的旅行袋抡过去：“坏蛋！” “只是去两天两夜而已。你带了多少行李啊？”新堂有些好笑地看着吉泽手里的背包，“我们是去外地竞赛，又不是去修学旅行。 “哼。女生和男生自然是不同的。” 等到装满各校参赛选手的巴士在连打了一连串哀怨的嗝，进而光荣抛锚后，吉泽才意识到自己的行李成了可恶的累赘。带队老师在前头大声嚷嚷大家忍耐一下，只要再走一小会就到比赛驻地了。太阳底下，人人都没力气吭声，不情不愿地步行。新堂本想帮她一把，被吉泽执拗地拒绝了。为表明“这点小菜而已”，她还故作轻松地将背包甩了好几圈。 阳光烘下来，走上一小会就出了汗。四周纷纷有人掏出饮料来喝。吉泽抬眼看新堂，额角似乎也有光亮。她停下来，打开包盖摸出两罐汽水。 “喏。”递过去一个。 新堂想难怪这包里的负担还不小，说着谢谢接下来，吉泽也打开了手里的另一罐。几乎同一时刻，强烈的气泡从两个开口齐齐喷射而出，溅了各自一身。新堂和吉泽都有些愣神。 “……你刚才把包晃了好多圈吧？”新堂的上衣沾满了浅色的饮料，无奈地问她。吉泽难堪得涨红了脸，连忙摸去找餐巾纸。不擦还好，一擦，粘了满脸的纸屑。新堂叹气这女孩毛手毛脚起来也够厉害。扳过她的肩，一条条地替她摘下白色纸片。 几乎是受了惊吓般飞快地闭上眼睛。阳光在吉泽眼皮下流窜着猩红的暖热。各种意识不受控制地袭来。 微微颤抖着的睫毛，如同娇嫩柔弱的夜蛾。皮肤上覆盖着一层轻薄的暖光，令她看起来像无害的小生物。取下的白色飞絮落在空中，很快就被吹跑了。好象同时有某些脚不沾地的东西从新堂的心上飘过去，掠过一丝柔软的风。 手指上全是甜腻的触感。 “弄不干净。等到了后，再用水洗洗。”新堂表示无能为力。 “谢谢……对不起啊。” “习惯了。”有些促狭地微笑着。 走多几步，半身的甜味，居然引来不少小虫子。绕住吉泽和新堂，琢磨着驻足的地方。吉泽烦乱地摆着手臂，前面有人回头打量她，她就窘得停止动作，新堂在旁看了有些失笑，伸手替她轻掸走肩头背上落下的小飞虫。 “女生都很讨厌虫