Chapter 11 Title: The Cold Land and the Warm Flower

In any class at any time, there will always be one or a few people who are weird and will be bullied.As for me, they were the boys who appeared at the same table in elementary school, the yellow-haired girl who was separated by a few rows in junior high school, and the one who left after only one year in high school, wearing braces, who looked unattractive boy girl. It's like people always avoid the past when they drowned dragonflies in the water when they were young, or just explain "I was not sensible at that time" with a laugh.It seems that as long as such an excuse, all the behaviors that should and shouldn't have been eased in the past.

The boy at the same table in elementary school, dark, thick-headed and tiger-headed, like all the boys in that age group, did not know what "personal hygiene" was. I always saw him wipe his hand under the table after picking his nose. Can only desperately kick his legs below.And that's not the main reason he was bullied. For what, it is still unclear.There were three other boys in the class, who seemed to pick a random day to start suddenly, throwing the schoolbag of my deskmate into the trash can, tearing up his books, and knocking down the half-eaten cold drink he had eaten.They were making a fuss in the corner of the classroom after class, and it might have gone on forever if the bell hadn't come to stop it.

The deskmate with dark skin and a thick head and a thick head, even if asked "Why don't you tell the teacher", he just smirked. Then on a day just beginning of summer, I saw his collar was suddenly pulled open and poured into a cup of hot water. This scene is accompanied by soft and peaceful things such as the ivy crawling outside the teaching building in elementary school, the too stiff right hand at the flag-raising ceremony, and a popsicle that can be distributed after a nap. After hundreds of millions of days, the world has long learned how to deal with all contradictory things safely.There are gray-green slimy mosses, the smell of decaying plants, and blue seabird pupils, which can see the farthest and farthest mountain lines.

They fit perfectly into each other at the edges.Seems like it's always been one. Maybe the few boys who bullied me at the same table in elementary school can still be regarded as pure naughty and right and wrong (although I don't agree with it).Then as time went on, after entering junior high school, I met a girl in the same class with a single name of "Hua", and every time the boys ranked them at the top of the list of ugly girls written in a big way-how should I define this kind of thing. Today, many years later, no more than 1/10 of the faces I can call out their names when facing the faces in the graduation photos.Even people who were once on good terms fail when trying to search for their first and last names.Among the names of those who have been left intact from the past, even if the coat of time is shaken a little, it will immediately fall off-the person who is always scolded by the teacher as trash, the person whose father committed suicide because of the failure of the stock market, The first person in the class to fall in love...they outlast the person I once shared the same marshmallow with.

Many years later, it was discovered that the faces that seemed to be at a distance turned out to be more entangled in a certain sense. In the graduation photo, standing next to my left hand is that girl. "Hua" and the surname are even more ordinary names, so I don't pay special attention to them no matter what.And she has naturally yellowish-brown hair, and hair dyeing hadn't risen at that time, so everyone thought it was congenital malnutrition.The face is equally ordinary, as is the voice and demeanor.But a man who is unremarkable in almost every part becomes the object of verbal attacks and ridicule by many.And because no matter how sarcastic, the other party will not refute, but just bury his head lower in the textbook, so the voice will expand and repeat in the undefined place.

Call her ugly, say she is stupid, want to say something else but can't find a more vivid topic, so I repeat the first two.Starting with her male deskmate, the entertainment atmosphere slowly spread, and finally became a group activity that everyone should participate in.This is a trend, and it would be strange for anyone not to agree. Of course, I don’t have any friends anymore, and I ride a female bicycle to school or after school alone, and I haven’t seen her cry, but just kept silent for a long time. And the same as before.The place where the part of her memory is kept, throughout the junior high school years, is still warm and golden as a whole.The dry air built into the head, and the sound of hitting the rim.Lie on the railing with others and watch the kites flying over the opposite stadium, one kite, two kites and three kites.

Objects like kites are often described to create an overall warm atmosphere. But even in the twilight when the kite is falling, there will still be those who have been excluded for a long time, but they can't ask the reason, but they are just the figures who are excluded, riding their bicycles home alone. In the first year of high school, there is no division of arts and sciences.The faces that stand out in the shortest time are not only the ones that are particularly beautiful, the ones who can speak and smile very well, the ones who are particularly outgoing, and there are also new classmates who feel weird at first sight.

At first I thought she was a boy.Because he has very short hair, he has a dry and small body, and when he speaks, his mouth with braces is exposed. Although a reason such as "wearing braces" will cause a girl to lose a lot of points at the age of sixteen, it is not the main factor for her "weirdness".She always speaks with a little ambiguous smile, and uses inexplicable strange voices to answer the teacher’s remarks in class. Then, the most impressive time, I turned around one night during self-study and found her holding a utility knife on the desk. Cut a one-inch photo of yourself.

Indeed, at that moment, not only fear but also disgust surged from the heart.Half an hour ago, the girls took a shower in the dormitory one after another. Taking this opportunity, they quickly took off their school uniforms and changed into their personal outfits. The clothes smelled like softener, and they laughed louder intentionally or unintentionally when they passed in front of the boys. In my eyes, the three years of high school should be like this.Mature innocence mixed with goofy pride, conceit mixed with just the right amount of smugness, and then even though everything is still on the move, there shouldn't be anything like that in the on-the-go.

Cut into a small grid, a small grid, the face in the photo. If we grow up with our own body, its lines touch more and more regions as it grows day by day, there will always be many unexpected things that suddenly cling to a certain part of our body , making people withdraw their hands suddenly like touching hot metal.However, on the journey of continuing to explore, I still don't know if I will still have a similar experience. Because everyone is sixteen or seventeen, she is much more sensible than before. Even if she is still hasty and immature, there will be no obvious evil deeds surrounding her.Although everyone thought she was weird and scary, and no one wanted to be at the same table with her, they all chose to avoid her as much as possible. The teacher didn't like her, and we never saw her parents come to the parent-teacher meeting. Like everyone else, she put herself in the safe zone of ordinary people, and set her far away in undefined danger.

If you say "warm the world" 10,000 times, then the world will really warm, then it is not unreasonable to believe so.Most people have a small positive inner strength, although they are usually ashamed to express it, and would rather use vulgar jokes to say "fuck you bastard" loudly.But these are not contradictory. I want to see a happy ending, I want to hear soft songs, I want everything that happens to me to be just, and I don’t want to encounter too many problems—it’s all a common and natural thought. However—the first one is, we say "warmth" ten thousand times, but it will not change the darkness that has coexisted with the world since ancient times.The problems involved are no longer conceivable in this life, but those who can see and testify with their own eyes, people who quarrel, fight, lie, cheat, slander, and listen to slander... at any time Existence will never disappear because of 10,000 words like "warmth". The living place is not a fairy tale, everyone understands it. However--the second one is that even though the outline of our body grows passively swallowing countless hot stones, it still grows into a person who expects some simple and beautiful things in our hearts.I vigorously rubbed all the faces with bad marks into the warm tide of memory.The universe may not have prepared enough temperature and light to give the flower's seed, but the wind will still send it to the place where it can survive as much as possible.This is not a tough behavior like a personal resistance, but a stubborn insistence secretly. It becomes a circle that repeats and then repeats. After going far away and then returning, I find that the traces of sleeping at birth still maintain the previous arc-the length of the initial baby.