Chapter 18 [18] Hero Resurrection

"Since I was young, I have only loved Zigong. His father and my mother have a strange history. Let me tell you from the beginning..." When I was in high school, the sun was always beautiful, and there was kindness and happiness in people's eyes.She is a beautiful little girl with fair skin, neat and simple clothes, and a charming smile.Clear eyes.The braided black braids sway in the air when running, as bright as the moon. He is her physics teacher.It was a tall man with curly hair and warm eyes. He liked to stare at the world map under the glass.When writing on the blackboard, I will roll up the sleeves of my shirt, and my classmates will smile back after answering the questions.

In the first year of high school, she was 16 years old and he was 22 years old. Her older sister is also a teacher in this middle school, so she has many more opportunities to get along with him.When she went to the office to find her sister, she would observe his actions, and his hands were very long.I don't smoke, I like to drink tea.He likes to use crayons to draw the moon and small houses on the drawing paper. He doesn't talk much, and the occasional sentence can make people in the room laugh. When the teacher gave a tea party, her sister took her to it, and he sat next to her.Like older friends, get along well, but there are some staring and twinkling in the eyes that are very shy.My sister saw it, and felt strange that this was not an emotion between a teacher and a student.

She grew up day by day, becoming more and more beautiful and gentle.She is an excellent student, quick in thinking, crisp in speaking, and serious and responsible for her work.Will not be the same as other girls right and wrong, take things calmly. In the third year of high school, my sister gave birth to a child on maternity leave, and he drove her home every day by bike.On the road at night, he would carefully let her ride on the road, remind her to drink plenty of water, not to get tired from reading, and encourage her to be confident in herself... After graduating from high school, she was admitted to a normal university.She was very sad during that summer vacation, and she was not sure whether her feelings for him were admiration for the teacher or love.And in that closed era, the teacher-student relationship was shocking.She hopes that she is ordinary and can no longer be ordinary.

While she was hesitating, her sister told her that he had been dating a girl for a year, and the relationship was stable and they hit it off.She dismissed the idea. Not long after school started, I received a letter from him to her.In the letter, all the evasive words were exposed. He said that he loved her, which was a grown man's love for a woman. It was a long-term cultivated feeling. From the first time he saw her, that love existed.I was afraid of delaying her college entrance examination, so I didn't speak out until she was admitted to university. After she received the letter, she was in disarray, moved and confused.She was so young, after all, she still couldn't tell whether it was heroism worship to the teacher or love between men and women.

When she came home on the weekend, she saw him, his shirt was still clean and tidy.Just slightly haggard.He hugged her and told her that in the past three years, he could see her sitting in front of him every day, reading, writing, talking and smiling, and his heart was solid and satisfied.But now that she is in college, she hasn't seen each other for a month, and she feels very disappointed. After listening, she started to cry, and he hugged her even tighter.When she lowered her head and was about to kiss her, she turned and ran away.Then he rejected him, rejected the vague love that he didn't understand, and rejected the gossip.Choose to live in peace.

Just turning around, the bustling curtain ended, and people changed. She filled up her time with studying and didn't let herself stop, so that she wouldn't think of his haggard face and long-term love.She stubbornly believes that forcing herself to forget is the only way to forget. She is getting thinner and thinner, her skin is fair and smooth, and she will attract everyone's attention wherever she goes. In her junior year, at the age of twenty-two, she received his second letter.He wrote: "For countless nights, I wished I could go to an open place to watch the moon with you. But I knew that you turned and abandoned me, and that day, you had already made a choice. I wavered my determination because of this, I thought I could Fighting against the tradition, you can think about it, and you should respect your choice.

I'm just sad that I can't love you anymore. At this point, I feel pain all over my body, and I feel that I don't have enough strength to maintain my voice, thinking, and five senses... In the future, if you will be unhappy because I still think of you, then I sincerely apologize for these things. At this moment, I feel that my mood is difficult to calm down, and there is no open space to shelve hope and happiness.But I think things will get better soon.If I choose another way of life, I must be responsible and plead for the people and things in my environment.Therefore, it should not be indulged for too long, and please don't worry.

One last word of advice, please be happy! " On the third day after receiving the letter, my sister called: he is married.That year, he was 28 years old. The next year, at the age of 23, he graduated from university.She was assigned to teach in the original high school, a coincidence in the world may not be like this! She teaches mathematics.Parabolas, right angles, curves, trigonometric functions, vertical lines, theorems, there is one and only one intersection of two straight lines... Mathematics is mathematics, and it often has a lot to do with life. Now she has become his colleague.At this time, he seldom showed the old smile.There was a lot of emotion in his eyes when he looked at her, but she simply smiled and turned a blind eye.She knew that he had a family and his wife had just given birth to a son.She can't do things that ruin other people's families.

They look up and see each other every day.The older sister understood her feelings, so she introduced a boy to her.The boy was two years older than her, graduated from university, and was a civil servant. He worked diligently and conscientiously, and was considerate and considerate to her, whom she could rely on. She throws herself into a relationship for distraction. She asked the boy to accompany her to walk the part of the way he had accompanied her, to watch the sunset with her.She hoped that civil servants could praise her braids, praise her simplicity and sincerity like him... In fact, subconsciously, he is an insurmountable hero.

After working steadily for more than a year, at the age of 24, she married a civil servant.Started an ideal ordinary life. When he returned to school after his wedding leave, he had already applied to teach in the third year of high school and left the office where he lived together day and night.She knew in her heart that he would definitely not be able to face her when she was married. The next year after her marriage, she became pregnant and gave birth to a daughter. From the beginning of her marriage to the next three years, she lived without desire or desire.Work hard, have strict requirements on students, go home and cook, cook and clean up the house, and are good at everything.Occasionally meeting him at school, she would still call him Teacher Zhou as in the past.

Everything seems to be uneventful. In the fourth year of work, that is, when she was 27 years old, the school allocated rooms uniformly.They lived in the same building.This is the will of God in the legend. After becoming neighbors, the relationship between the two families has become very close, and they would sit and chat and drink tea together in their spare time.This relationship is delicate.None of their family members saw any flaws. They started commuting to and from school together again.Ride together and reminisce about when she was in high school.Reminiscing like this every day makes people can't help but return to the original origin. One evening, her husband was on a business trip and his wife worked overtime.Ten years of love, in that moment of perfect harmony, was interpreted with passion and affection.That night, the moonlight was exceptionally bright. Because the two adults carry the happiness of two families on their shoulders, they keep silent and still play their respective roles in their respective families, and because they feel that they owe their families psychologically, they are more enthusiastic and dare not neglect, Big and small things are negotiated.In this way, the two families did not notice anything.Life goes on like this. When he was 45 years old, he was diagnosed with cancer, which was in the terminal stage. When she went to see him, he was lying there, his lips were blue and pale, and he was terribly thin.He still smiled at her, looking at her face carefully, as if looking for memories of his youth on her face, and also as if he wanted to deeply remember her face in his mind, so that he could clearly identify this person in the crowd in the next life , This face, don't miss it again. The reluctance in his eyes before he closed his eyes turned into a ray of light, piercing through more than ten years of time, from youth to middle-aged dusk, from birth to death. Those afterimages from the past are played one by one like a slide show.Before he died, he kept thinking about the past: the playground, braids, white shirt, white sneakers, the moonlight that witnessed their love when lying together, the lush and green tree, turning away after the first hug, More than ten years of going around and going around, fiery letters, a god-sent marriage... After his death, his wife could no longer turn a blind eye to their affairs, and absolutely severed ties with her family. His son is Zi Gong.Her daughter is Senin. Zigong and Saining are childhood sweethearts. Sometimes when Zigong came home from school, his mother took him to the kindergarten to pick up Saining.On the way home, reward Saining with a handkerchief.Sai Ning would raise his head and ask Zi Gong: "What do you like?" Zi Gong said he liked Saint Seiya, so Sai Ning bought a handkerchief with the image of Saint Seiya printed on it and took it with him. After the two families severed ties, the two children were forced not to see each other again.Sai Ning was beaten all over his body by his father because he secretly went to find Zi Gong.Her father, a civil servant in the evening, had already been promoted because of his outstanding performance, and now he is a powerful administrative official.He finally could not bear his wife's infidelity, and became hysterical, somewhat insane.The stubborn Sai Ning was always beaten by him, but he couldn't help crying. Sai Ning's mother shed tears all day long and aged a lot. After Zigong's father passed away, his mother took him by herself, and life was hard and difficult.It was also to avoid the comments from other people in the teacher's area, and planned to take him to live in Huancheng, trying to forget the sorrow in that happy city. Before moving, Zigong said he was going out to deliver a letter to a friend, but his mother took out the scissors and threatened him. She didn't want to leave any message to Saining's family, she hated them.From then on, Zigong found that his mother was a little crazy, and his heart ached.He was very sensible, he gave up the idea of ​​delivering the letter, hugged his mother, tricked the scissors out of her hand, and put her to sleep. Just as I was about to fall asleep, someone rang the doorbell. It's Lada. Lada is the messenger of Zigong and Saining.Since the relationship between the two families collapsed, she helped the two of them pass messages and letters. This girl is gentle and strong, and she is Senin's best friend. From the age of 5, they all lived in the family area of ​​the school, played together every day, and never separated.She is the kind of good sister who has to bite a piece of candy into two and share it. Regarding Zi Gong's matter, she has been consoling Sai Ning: You must believe that nothing can separate two people who love each other. Because of her understanding and encouragement, Sai Ning became stronger and braver.She put all her heart into this feeling, not afraid of being hit head-to-head. That day, she came to Zigong's house, holding a harmonica in her hand, and wearing a white pleated skirt.After Zigong opened the door, he hurriedly asked her why she came, and before he could say a few words, Zigong's mother appeared behind him.She was awakened by the doorbell with a pair of scissors in her hand. Lada was so frightened that she cried. Seeing the situation, Zigong threw the letter to her through the security door, and told her to take the letter and leave quickly.She yelled at Zigong, "You come with me!" Zigong felt sorry for his mother before it was too late, so how could he leave her?He closed the door, coaxed her to hand over the scissors again, and then coaxed her to sleep.He clearly knew that what he could do was to accompany his mother to move to Huancheng, give her a stable life, let her relax her mind, and spend her old age peacefully. Before long, their mother and son moved away. Radha did not give that letter to Senin. In Sai Ning's world, Zi Gong suddenly disappeared.Just like her parents who were driven crazy by life, no one can be kind and peaceful until this day.These "sudden" made her hate. Except for Zigong who loves her, no one else has ever given her such care and warmth in the years after childhood.Zigong was her everything, and everything about her disappeared with Zigong's disappearance. She stopped crying and didn't believe in miracles.She has no interest in life.Instantly. Rada comforted her every day, comforted her, as patiently as comforting a lost child younger than herself, full of hope for life, as if she had never received that letter. During that time, Sai Ning felt that the only happy thing was their small band.She played guitar and sang, accompanied by Rada on harmonica.The name of the band is "Or Missing", which was started by Sai Ning.They sometimes skip class to perform in small public places. At the age of 18, during the summer vacation after finishing the college entrance examination, not long after Lada's parents immigrated, Lada, who lived alone, suddenly disappeared.For Senin, the world has finally turned into a blank, oh, blank! In that hot summer, she was sitting on the small bench by the window, and Zi Gong's words kept coming back to her mind. At that time, he took her hand and said, "All of this is a mistake, only you are not." Said At the time of these words, the current situation was in chaos, and the two families had already caused uncontrollable hatred because of his father's death. Many years later, she still broods over this sentence, why was she abandoned without making a mistake? !And later, she engraved this sentence on his tombstone, in her eyes: only him, not a mistake. She started to be a third-rate little singer.I like to perform everywhere with my guitar on my back, and I have always tried my best to become famous. She had a stupid idea: if she succeeds, she will perform on a big stage, and the lost Zigong and Rada can get news of her and find her just by watching TV and newspapers. It's like little friends who lost their way in the forest suddenly found each other's location with some kind of mark, how happy that would be.They can play word games, fall in love or sleep together on the lawn of the park as they did when they were young. At the age of 21, Senin received a letter from Rada.When she arrived in Huancheng, Zigong had his last breath left. Because of her grief and excessive self-blame, Rada suffered a heart attack and was dying. She was sent to the intensive care unit for treatment.Standing in the corridor was Zigong's mother. She was old, gray-haired, and in poor spirits. She neither cried nor made noises, but just stared blankly at the pale wall and smelled the always strange smell of Lysol.Her heart has no waves.During the long period of Zigong's illness, she blamed herself for breaking down and committing suicide, but now she doesn't even have any anxiety.She became an emotionless person. Destined, her life was the most tragic of this group of people.Not really loved, with few emotions other than giving and frustration to support her agenda... Zigong and his father had the same cancer, which had spread. Senin sat beside him, kissed his hair and deep-set eyes, and held his hand.smile at him.Lower your head and talk to him. Senin: "I'm so happy to see you again." Zigong: "When I see you smiling, I feel very at ease." His face was already stiff, but he was still trying to smile. The birds outside the ward were chirping, the wind was light, the leaves were swaying slowly, the clouds were thick, and the sky was blue. Senin: "Have you lived well these years?" Zigong: "Very good, how about you?" Sai Ning: "Of course it's not bad! Since then, you have trained me to take care of myself and be self-reliant. This is premeditated, you just don't intend to be responsible for my daily life, are you?!" She didn't dare to say another word. She never cried after Zigong disappeared that year. She thought she had lost the ability to cry in this life, but all the suffering and sufferings of so many years were piled up. In front of her, in front of her dying lover, she was afraid that she would not be able to stop crying.Zigong must have been very sad when he saw her cry.She suppressed all her senses and remained still for three seconds.He regained his calm and generous demeanor, fearing that he would miss any conversation. Because man is no match for time.Time is getting shorter and shorter, and people are stepping towards the profound unknown step by step.Perhaps in the world of death, the dead are at ease.But the tragedy is that the people who love them are still alive.The two worlds are not connected to each other.It is only the living who suffer. Zigong asked her in a weak voice, "Do you miss me?" Senin: "Yes." Zigong: "What have you been doing all these years?" Senin: "I've been looking for you." When Zigong died, he was very similar to his father, chanting many words: Saint Seiya handkerchief, delicious custard, the way to school together, the dog in the alley, summer homework... Mother stood at the door of the ward, saw Zi Gong before he died, and recalled the bad relationship between the two peoples.Even the final scene is so similar.A person suffered the same car accident twice at the same intersection, and her experience can also be understood in this way. As a result, she went crazy.