Chapter 9 Xin (1)

Chen Yan only occasionally thinks of the vague hugs by the East Lake that day, or has an indifferent affection for Zhu Yun, but everything has not had time to develop, leaving a scratch in her life that is so faint that it is almost unrecognizable.Her cousin went abroad when she was in the second year of junior high school, and everything disappeared. Chen Yan wrote all these in his diary. During the summer vacation when there was no homework or make-up classes, Chen Yan would often open the diary and tell the story stroke by stroke.Things in the past, as if they happened to someone else. Just when everything was about to turn into a story, my aunt called, my cousin came back from Australia, and the family had a gathering.

My mother readily agreed, and the time was set, and the meeting between the two became a foregone conclusion under the arrangement of the adults.The next day, Chen Yan went to his aunt's house under the guidance of his mother.Cousin has been fully formed, and all parts of the body have fully grown, and there will not be too many changes.His face was clean, and his thin face held up those delicate eyes that are rare in boys. His body became thinner and taller again.Came back from Australia wearing a whole suit and pants one size up. There are a lot of people in my cousin's house, most of whom are relatives of the family.Cousin sat with Chen Yan again, but didn't know what to say.Cousin talked about hip-hop, and told Chen Yan about the culture and classification of hip-hop music.Chen Yan told her cousin that she still likes NIRVANA and SONIC YOUTH, and the cousin said that rock and roll is outdated now.

Gradually, all the men in the room had something to do and left, and several women sat in the room and talked about things that women in their 40s should talk about.Cousin took Chen Yan's hand, and the two entered his room. He played a Wu DR DRE record, and the sound of the music filled the entire room.The air conditioner hummed slightly, which was inconsistent with the frequency of the music. Chen Yan felt his skin tense up, wrapped in an uncoordinated frequency.Cousin held her in his arms again, this time he said a lot... "Yanyan... If I wasn't your cousin...would you like...me?..." Chen Yan didn't answer, and she closed her eyes without breaking away.

"In Australia... I have nothing but hip-hop... always thinking of... you..." Chen Yan couldn't see his expression, he could only feel him hugging him tighter.This sentence is very touching, Chen Yan thought about it and realized that he had nothing but endless dreams.Chen Yan put her hands on her cousin's back lightly, able to touch his hard bones, her fingers went down along the ridge-like bones, her breathing made his skeleton slightly open and close. Chen Yan opened his eyes. A 40-watt light bulb hung on the ceiling like a small sun. The filament was so red that it felt hot just looking at it.Chen Yan closed his eyes again, and his cousin inserted his hands into her hair, trying to inhale the breath released from her body when the hair was pushed aside.

Chen Yan didn't know how to verify the authenticity of his words, and he didn't know how to deal with them.Suddenly thinking of the middle-aged women in the next room, Chen Yan felt a chill in his heart, only a wall separated him.The cousin's breath fell on her neck, which was moist and warm.Chen Yan broke away from his cousin and leaned against the wall. His cousin was standing in the distance, and Chen Yan saw tears in his eyes.Perhaps he should believe what he said, Chen Yan said to himself. The distance between Chen Yan and his cousin was less than 1 meter. The cousin stood there blankly, trying to hold back the tears in his eyes.He didn't know whether his words moved Chen Yan, and he didn't know what he really wanted. He didn't lie, he had a girlfriend in Australia, but his mind was full of Chen Yan who hugged him by the East Lake that day.Australia is a place with no future. Under the sun, everyone seems to be in high spirits, but in fact, they have already died in their hearts.

Chen Yan looked down at her feet, she thought, if the person in front of her was not her cousin, she would like him... maybe, but everything would be different, how they would meet and treat each other.We all view others with a fantasy attitude, we impose our own expectations on others, we make up things that will never come true. After standing there for more than 2 minutes, the cousin suddenly walked towards Chen Yan. He squeezed Chen Yan against the wall with his body, and then kissed her.This was Chen Yan's first kiss. The back of her head was leaning against the wall, and the cold air from the air conditioner hit her face.The cousin pressed her shoulder, not caring about the weak resistance.The fan of the air conditioner kept turning, Chen Yan tried to clench his teeth, but finally let go.Chen Yan felt invaded, and she realized that she hadn't prepared much. Her cousin's hand was on her shoulder, and their bodies got closer and closer every second.Chen Yan's body stiffened, he couldn't relax, and kept doing some useless movements.This kiss is not beautiful, there are too many loopholes, erratic in the cool air of the air conditioner.

After kissing her, the cousin cried, and he knelt on the ground.The floor had just been waxed and had a faint plastic smell.She knelt down and looked at her cousin who buried his head in his arms. He raised his head, and Chen Yan wiped away his tears with his hands.Chen Yan took out a tissue from his pocket and wiped away his cousin's tears, but he held back the tears. The middle-aged women next door were having a great time talking, and they didn't know what was going on behind the first wall. Their uncontrollable laughter passed through the wall to Chen Yan's ears.Cousin sat on the ground unwilling to get up, Chen Yan also knelt and looked at him, it was the first time she saw a grown man cry.

The person in front of him was crying for himself, Chen Yan told himself that he couldn't believe it, his eyebrows were neat, he had single eyelids, but his eyelashes were long, his nose bridge was straight, and his lips were trembling.What kind of thing is a human being?Under the wrapping of each skin, does it really exist?It's horrifying to think about the process that transformed us from a shapeless little ball of meat into a living person. Chen Yan unconsciously put his hand on his cousin's face, and touched his outline lightly. He didn't understand why people have different faces and different bodies.She doesn't know how her cousin's brain works. She never believes that people can understand each other, and everyone is a closed individual.Following the outline of her cousin's face, Chen Yan closed her eyes again, and she told herself that this is a skin...

That afternoon passed very slowly, Chen Yan had a calm instinct, and she pulled herself out of the emotions that were about to lose control.She stood up, trying to get back to normal, she reached out and pulled her cousin up.She took out a tissue and carefully wiped her cousin's tears. She said, "They are going to finish chatting soon. Let's go out in a while and pretend nothing happened!" Cousin raised his head, looked at Chen Yan, and couldn't believe it was the words of the soft little girl in front of him.Cousin suddenly felt that he was so weak that he couldn't control his emotions.Chen Yan looked at him with a calm face.The two looked at each other, and the cousin immediately realized that he couldn't lose face. The girl in front of him had already packed up his feelings, but he was still a mess. He told himself that he couldn't fall behind.So a minute later, my cousin's expression returned to normal.

Maybe stop here, stop. The two left their QQ numbers and MSN that day. In the evening, the middle-aged woman and two children went to the restaurant for dinner. The two sat together and treated each other with courtesy. Nothing happened, and the adults didn't notice. That night, Chen Yan cried under the quilt, and she suddenly realized that this crappy love was her first love.And the first kiss, it all passed in a muddle, everything was hastily planned, outside the plan... A big piece of the pillow was wet, Chen Yan turned the pillow over and pressed the side with tears under it.After that, there was a strange smell left on the side where the tears were stained. It was not spicy, but a prelude to spicy.