Chapter 8 Fresh (1)

In Chen Yan's 17 years of life, he only had moderate physical contact with a small number of men. Seven or eight years ago, roller skating was the trendiest way to waste time.At dusk in summer, Hongshan Square is full of people wearing rollers.On that evening, Chen Yan, who had just graduated from elementary school, formally learned to roller-skate. The cousin held her and slid forward a little bit, their hands were tightly held together, and Chen Yan's speed was getting faster and faster. "I learned very quickly, I let go slowly!" At the mention of letting go, Chen Yan felt lost and slowed down.The cousin slowly released Chen Yan's hand, but his hand itself did not relax. The tight palm moved away from Chen Yan's palm, and stayed on her fingertips for a moment.Chen Yan could feel that he didn't really let go, but was pulling her forward with an invisible force.

In the sea of ​​people, my cousin opened a smooth path for Chen Yan.Facing the evening wind, Chen Yan walked forward with a smile. Chen Yan's cousin has always lived in Wuchang, and his mother's family has three sisters. The mother is the second child and lives alone in Hankou.Chen Yan's mother was conceived by grandma during the Cultural Revolution, and she was stimulated a lot in the womb by the Red Guards who ran the house every day.He was not very likable since he was a child, and his personality was somewhat weird, and he didn't have much contact with his sister.Chen Yan and his cousin rarely saw each other before, and they only said hello during the New Year's Eve dinner.

That summer, my mother had a sudden whim to go to Wuchang to buy clothes, so she asked Aunt Chen Yan to go shopping together.So the two sisters brought their children and met at the gate of Zhongnan Shopping Center.The boy in adolescence looks different every day, and he hasn't seen him for a year. My cousin looks like a different person, and his childishness has dropped a lot. Two women go shopping together and don't like being dragged down by children.Chen Yan's cousin offered to take her to play, and the two mothers immediately agreed.Cousin took Chen Yan to Hongshan Square, that roller-skating place.Chen Yan refused to put on the roller shoes. She said she was afraid, so she sat on the bench, her body tightened, her head bowed, and she said nothing.The cousin simply knelt down, took off the sandals for her, and put on roller shoes for her.

Finally dared to take the first step, her cousin kept supporting her, and the two had physical contact from time to time.Chen Yan fell down 6 times in total, one of which was bad, but with his cousin around, Chen Yan got up with a smile. In fact, that day, my cousin also suddenly discovered that Chen Yan had become a big girl, her body began to develop, her legs were straight, and her chest was bulging.He found that her eyes were always wandering, not escaping, but a trance that only occurred during puberty.The two walked together like a pair of half-acquainted lovers. My cousin held Chen Yan's hand, and Chen Yan felt like he was stung by an ant. Every physical contact was wonderful.Perhaps because of the power of contact, Chen Yan learned the roller within 2 and a half hours, and was able to slide forward without his hands.

In that summer, Chen Yan and his cousin met nine times in total, with an ambiguous attitude.But after school started, he called Chen Yan a few times, talking nonsense for an hour, and he didn't even know what he was talking about. When I was in elementary school, I didn’t have to go to school on Thursday afternoon. There were more than 10 people in the whole class, led by Cheng Ke, into a certain roller skating rink by the river. The lights in the skating rink are dim, the music is loud, and the underage hooligans are all dressed up and wandering around the rink.Chen Yan, who had low self-esteem, had a desire to escape when she first entered, but she couldn't even make up a reason to leave.Classmate Wang Qian helped her get roller shoes and disposable white socks.Putting on those shoes with wheels, Chen Yan didn't know how to walk anymore, those damn shoes could run away at any time.

Cheng Ke was leading the class to play Solitaire. He slipped in front of him alone, and the people behind him pulled one by one. People he didn't know gradually joined the team, and it became longer and longer. Chen Yan sat alone on the sidelines and looked at Hualong led by Cheng Ke. He was so wronged that he wanted to cry. He was skating comfortably and did not look at Chen Yan.She hates herself for being cowardly and inferior. No matter how happy others are, she just dare not step into the skating rink.She wanted to go back, but she didn't dare to get her shoes by herself. She was afraid of socializing and adults.Everyone else was wearing the latest clothes. Chen Yan looked at her plaid pants and wanted to slap herself very much. She knew that she did not belong to this place. She was a good daughter of her mother. She should practice piano at home at this time. Stay at home in crappy clothes, or go shopping with mom.

Wang Qian was tired and sat next to Chen Yan to rest. She tried to pull Chen Yan into the game several times. She said in sharp Wuhan words: "It doesn't matter, I will pull you to slide, you won't fall!" Chen Yan still refused. She felt that others They are all looking at her, looking at her with ponytail, white shirt and plaid pants, laughing at her, despising her... She has been standing on the sidelines, holding on to the railing, and carefully moving back and forth on the pulleys. Cheng Ke's skating became smoother and smoother, and his white T-shirt turned a dazzling bright purple under the light.

Back home, after being questioned by her mother, she started playing Mozart like crazy.She could feel some discordant desire behind the neat notes, and she accentuated the first note after each modulation, trying to make it clear, trying to turn herself into a Mozart machine. So far, Chen Yan has always believed that Mozart is angry when things are neat and tidy, and when the fingers are constantly moving under the drive of a certain internal order, the anger is the most concrete. After Chen Yan learned to roller skate, the sport gradually fell out of favor.At the primary school reunion, more than 20 people rushed into the roller field together.Everyone seems to be aware that new entertainment is coming soon, and the rollers are about to be neglected. It seems that they are giving the rollers a farewell ceremony in the dark.Chen Yan also went. She put on her roller shoes, walked onto the dance floor, and began to glide smoothly.

Cheng Ke stared blankly. Suddenly, he seemed to see a stranger. The Chen Yan he knew was locked up and couldn't adapt to this kind of sliding at all.Chen Yan slid past Cheng Ke, who grabbed her hand and started to slip backwards. "When did you learn it?" Chen Yan didn't answer, he just slid faster and faster under the leadership of Cheng Ke, and lost his way. In the first year of junior high school, Chen Yan watched it and went crazy wanting to see the ducks.At the New Year's Eve dinner, she met her cousin again, who was taller and more handsome.In the eyes of my cousin, Chen Yan is also more attractive, she is tender and ready to bloom, but she is always one step away from boring maturity.

On the night of the New Year's Eve dinner, the small room was full of people.At the noisy dinner table, the delicate eyes of the two meandered through various pleasantries and family jokes, and were caught by each other. After the meal, the two sat on the sofa, but they didn't know what to say.The cousin left the phone number, and Chen Yan carefully put it in his pocket, which is even more precious than New Year's money. On the fourth day of the Lunar New Year, Chen Yan called his cousin while his mother was not at home, and he quickly got back to the phone.On the phone, Chen Yan said that she wanted to see the ducks, and her cousin asked her where she wanted to go. She faltered and said that she wanted to go to East Lake, and her cousin readily agreed.Then the cousin called Chen Yan's mother himself, and lied to her mother that she had extra movie tickets and wanted to take Chen Yan to the movies. Chen Yan's mother thought they were relatives, so she had nothing to worry about, so she let Chen Yan go. .

It was wet and cold by the East Lake in winter, and my cousin didn't understand why the little girl came here to see the ducks.Chen Yan told him that he said he hadn't seen it, and he hadn't even heard of it.The two sat down on the bank, the cousin desperately talked about his new Sony ps, but Chen Yan just listened carelessly, without any reaction. It's clear that the two like completely different things. After waiting on the shore for a long time, two ducks finally appeared in sight, and Chen Yan stood up happily.The air is so cold that people's hands and feet are numb, the water must be colder, but the ducks swim very loosely. There are no ducks that live in high-rise buildings, no capitalism, and no ducks that are cooked in various countries... Chen Yan looked at the ducks as if he saw a duck. Utopia, with straight eyes, her body, which had been curled up before, opened slightly and merged into the air. My cousin stood up suddenly, and hugged Chen Yan from behind. Chen Yan was stunned for a moment, neither breaking away nor responding.The cousin hugged him even tighter, and Chen Yan felt mixedly nervous and moved. She subconsciously grabbed her cousin's hand, turned around, and threw herself into his arms. The two maintain a hugging posture, and there is no tendency to continue to develop. At that time, Chen Yan's mind was like a bus station, with cars coming and going, going up and down.Chen Yan was a little scared, but he didn't have the strength to break free, he just wanted to stay like this for a while. After an unknown amount of time, my cousin finally let go, and Chen Yan pulled his head out of his warm and damp embrace, and immediately encountered the cold air, causing a shiver. The ducks were still swimming in the water, but they refused to approach the shore.It was getting dark quickly in winter, Chen Yan looked around and suddenly felt that it was getting late, she pulled her cousin's watch and saw that it was already past 5 o'clock.The two walked slowly along the lake, like human-shaped snails, with sticky movements. On the bus, neither of them said a word, Chen Yan looked out the window, and could see his own face on the glass window, that pale face bumped with the bumps of the bus, and sometimes matched the scenery of the street behind him. catch.Is that yourself? It was past 6 o'clock when I got home. When I went upstairs, I ran into Cheng Ke who came out to buy beer for my father. The two greeted briefly.Cheng Ke noticed the trembling in Chen Yan's voice. He carried an empty beer bottle and sauntered downstairs. His hands suddenly began to tremble, and the trembling frequency was the same as that of Chen Yan's voice. Jiefang Park, Carousel, Chen Yan and Cheng Ke.After the bell rang, which was exactly the same as the school bell, the large wooden turntable started to move. Chen Yan felt that he was in a submarine factory, and the old machines were working obediently.Deer, horses, zebras, leopards, and lions move up and down, and a panda sits quietly in the center. Whenever the merry-go-round started to rotate, Chen Yan felt that the whole world was revolving around her, surrounded by dizzy warmth.Really hope it never stops. Chen Yan raised his head and looked at the green ceiling. The old five-pointed star in the middle was so lonely that it made people feel distressed.All kinds of animals flashed in front of their eyes, and they could just watch like this, all day long. On the verge of a spin, one step away from a living spin, an unfinished spin... The earth is spinning too, and we've grown so used to it that we take it for granted.The two rotations intertwined in front of Cheng Ke and Chen Yan, and they suddenly realized that the rotations were introverted and would not interfere with each other. It would be wonderful if there were more dinosaurs in this colorful group of spinning animals. If the earth suddenly stopped spinning, these spinning animals would definitely be fragmented.Revolving and rotating, one link after another, Chen Yan stood up, chasing the speed of the big turntable.When it started, the turntable made a whining sound, and the only two passengers were sitting on a sika deer and a leopard respectively.The turntable started to speed up, happily releasing the accumulated energy, and Chen Yan also started to speed up his pace, changing from a brisk walk to a trot. Tired of chasing, she lay on Cheng Ke's lap, listening to the dragging sound of old wooden animals going up and down. In fact, the world was constantly spinning.The concrete floor was a bit cold, but neither of them wanted to move.Cheng Ke stroked Chen Yan's hair, which was as soft as a kitten's hair. As the sky gradually darkened, Cheng Ke squeezed Chen Yan's chin to see if she wanted to leave. Chen Yan sat up, looked at the wooden horse, then at Cheng Ke, and asked, "Are there ducks in Jiefang Park?" Cheng Ke stood up and pulled Chen Yan off the carousel. The aunt who sold the tickets watched the two children who had spent most of the day here slowly leave.The two walked a long circle around the Jiefang Park, but did not find the duck. "Why do you want to see ducks?" "I just suddenly wanted to..." The two walked towards the door with loose steps. "Are we walking like lovers?" "It's not quite like it..." By the artificial lake in Jiefang Park, Chen Yan threw himself into Cheng Ke's arms.She especially needs to be hugged, the fuzzy contact with her cousin yesterday is falling... Cheng Ke's arms are warm but not wet, he hugged Chen Yan carefully, without any intention of letting go.When he came out of his arms, Cheng Ke blocked the cold air with his hands, and Chen Yan slowly completed the temperature transition. "I'm almost falling asleep, why are you like a bed..." In Cheng Ke's room, there were only him and Chen Yan.The two continued to hug outside just now, getting quieter and quieter, as if there were only two people left in the entire universe.Cheng Ke's breath landed on Chen Yan's skin, and the gas expelled from his body landed on her skin and then stepped into the pores.The entire room is filled with the heartbeats of two people, apart from intimacy, it is still intimacy. Later, when Chen Yan and Huang Rui had a skin-to-skin contact, they couldn't feel that kind of intimacy either. In the second semester of the second year of junior high school, Chen Yan changed to sit at the same table as Zhu Yunnan, and Yuan Jing was transferred to sit with a more honest girl because the teacher thought she liked talking too much.Chen Yan's male deskmate is quiet on the outside, but Chen Yan knows that most boys can't be quiet on the inside. Almost all of Chen Yan's understanding of men comes from Cheng Ke, so in the process of exploring a man, Chen Yan always uses Cheng Ke as a template. Before long, Chen Yan found that every time he took biology class, he was staring at the chapters on reproduction. He read the chapter on how fish fertilize and lay eggs no less than 50 times.He seems to be very interested in fish, which makes Chen Yan, who has a fish in his mind, quite fond of him. The biology teacher liked him because he was the only one who didn't do other homework, talk, fight or sleep in biology class.He is also the representative of the biology class, responsible for notifying the class teacher when the biology teacher is angry with the students who do not attend the class, and distributing the review questions and answers when the final exam is approaching. Zhu Yun didn't seem to be interested in girls. Fortunately, not many girls would be interested in him.Although he doesn't wear glasses, it always makes people think that he has a pair of glasses on the bridge of his nose. It seems that a person like him should wear a pair of high glasses by nature.It's a pity that when he was reincarnated, he was cast into a body with excellent eye functions, and no matter how much he spoiled his eyes, he would not be short-sighted.He always pushes the bridge of his nose habitually, which is a typical habit of glasses wearers. It seems that his soul has stayed in too many bodies wearing glasses. Chen Yan found that Zhu Yun's pen case had a picture of the underwater world, with many tropical fish among the aquatic plants, a few stones, three corals, two seahorses, and several large air bubbles.Chen Yan concluded that he had sexual fantasies about fish, but he didn't know what stimulated him when he was young. The fish swim around in the water every day, it seems that there is no thought.Killing frogs is disgusting, killing eels is bloody, but killing fish is okay, Chen Yan doesn't understand why, it seems that the death of fish is not despicable, maybe fish have no soul, so their death will not be too tragic.But Chen Yan's elephant fish is different, it has body temperature, and its body is like rubber. When Chen Yan told Yuan Jing that she thought Zhu Yun had fantasies about fish, Yuan Jing laughed and said that the whole body of fish was smooth and slippery, almost like a snake. If anyone had fantasies about fish, it must be because of brain problems.But Chen Yan retorted that there are mermaids!Yuan Jing suddenly realized, but then she added a sentence: "Mermaids are like angels, they can only be seen from a distance, but not up close. Think about it, how disgusting the sparse hair is. If you look at an angel up close, you will definitely collapse. Pick the feathers." You can see the pink meat, how disgusting! There are also mermaids, fishy, ​​it must be very smelly, and the scales are also creepy..." The little mermaid traded her singing voice for her legs for the sake of the prince. Maybe Zhu Yun was too poisoned by this story when he was young. He even wrapped the book in the paper of the little mermaid, and everyone who saw it laughed at him.Under the sunlight, Zhu Yun's skin looked very white and gleaming, and his hair was also a little yellow.Chen Yan looked at his face, then at his hands, and suddenly felt that his hands were very beautiful, with big knuckles, but little flesh, thin and long. The two of them sat at the same table for a month and didn't say anything. Chen Yan didn't like to take the initiative to talk to others, and he was the same. At most, he would talk about computer games with the boys behind him.It was not until Zhu Yun forgot to bring the answers during the "Three Defenses" exam that he spoke to Chen Yan for the first time.Chen Yan also readily borrowed his answer, and the two of them would have some words from time to time. At first, their topic stayed on biological issues, and Zhu Yun answered Chen Yan's questions one by one.A week later, they had more conversations. Zhu Yun was always talking about fish. Chen Yan liked to listen to it because she had a friend who looked like a fish.Two weeks later, Zhu Yun told Chen Yan that he had seen a mermaid when he was young.Chen Yan asked him where he saw it, and he said he was on the ferry. In fact, Zhu Yun was really an outlier in that class. He was a loner and never attracted attention.But after sitting at the same table with Chen Yan, classmates in the class can often see the two of them talking seriously, so all kinds of rumors arise spontaneously. Fortunately, soon Chen Yan was replaced to sit with a girl with good grades.Probably because Dad invited the teacher to dinner, the teacher began to pay special attention to Chen Yan, and he was called up to answer questions more often in class.The relationship with Zhu Yun ended there, and after they separated, they were like strangers.No one can explain the reason, and no one wants to speak anyway. Cheng Ke, who was in the next class, also heard the rumors, but he never asked Chen Yan this question directly.Cheng Ke also made a girlfriend, and went through the necessary steps in the process of growing up in a stylized manner.When Chen Yan and Cheng Ke were in junior high school, they talked surprisingly little, as if they were deliberately giving each other space. Chen Yan's success in being admitted to a key high school was largely due to his deskmate in the third year of junior high school.Everyone is aggressive and will always be involved in some kind of competition unknowingly. Thanks to the same table and those sacks of papers, they pushed Chen Yan into the key high school.In the third year of junior high school, Chen Yan's eyesight declined rapidly, and he finally wore glasses with a temperature of more than 200 degrees.Chen Yan felt that his life seemed to have changed just now, his eyesight had changed, he was taller, his back was bent, his chest had developed, and his face had become thinner.It is said that scientists have discovered that people will completely metabolize every few years. When he read this report, Chen Yan began to suspect that he was no longer himself. During the days of the senior high school entrance examination, it rained, and Chen Yan was always distracted during the examination, listening to the sound of every drop of water falling to the ground.The monitor is swinging at the back, and the invigilator walks heavily... A classroom is filled with dozens of different breaths, and dozens of people who don't know each other peacefully enjoy the same space during the exam time. This is order. Zhu Yun went to a middle school in Wuchang. The specific reason is unclear, and no one knows his contact information.In fact, the reason is very simple, his parents went to work in Wuchang.When Zhu Yun was in high school, he was still obsessed with fish, and his family moved to the fruit lake. Although the lake water is smelly, Zhu Yun still likes to sit by the lake, and the water feels warmer. In summer, the fruit lake is even more stinky, and there is a sour smell coming from the roadside.It's even more scary near the shore of the road, the water level is lower than before, and you can see the garbage gathered in the corner of the lake, like vomit items.Every morning when Zhu Yun walked to the station, he would pass by the fruit lake, and he would stop for a while. In 1992, Zhu Yun was eight years old. Wuhan was wet and cold in winter, and Zhu Yun's hands were as cold as buns.Zhu Yun's mother bought him a small hand warmer, which gave off bursts of warmth, but his hands continued to be red and swollen. He was not hurt by the cold but by the humidity.His face was also red, and he was a little ashamed of his red face. The day before, he saw monkeys appearing in the animal world column, and his face looked like a monkey's butt when his father laughed.He was wearing the undersized clothes of his cousin. He was so thin that he looked like a frightened monkey. The pier is crowded with people, and there are also people selling shoe shine paper.Zhu Yun was most likely to be frightened by the crowd, and he kept pulling on his father's clothes, holding on tightly.As soon as he got on the boat, he strongly demanded to go to the second floor, but his father reluctantly agreed. In the wet and cold wind, Zhu Yun stood by the railing and looked at the surging river water.The ship's engine made a loud noise, and the heat from the engine was transmitted up through the sound, but it was wrapped in the damp and cold air.The river water does not have any aesthetic feeling in the ordinary sense, but it is somewhat heroic.When Zhu Yun looked down through the railing, he saw a mermaid with its tail clamped, trying to swim upstream in the dirty river.The sunlight fell on her scales, not as dazzling as imagined, and her face could not be seen clearly, only the pale yellow hair spread in the water like water plants.