Chapter 7 Ear seed

Regarding Renzong’s life experience: According to the historical records of the Song Dynasty, Renzong’s life experience was not a secret at the time, but Renzong didn’t know about it, and many people in other clans and harem knew about it. Concubine. Ear Grain (1) By the Cai River, the weeping willows in April are like smoke. As soon as she walked to the bridge here, she saw someone outside her courtyard knocking on the door lightly. Zhao Congzhan. It was she who opened the door. When she saw Zhao Congzhan, she was slightly taken aback, then immediately smiled and invited him in. I froze for a long time in the willow tree on the other side of the river, and the dark green in front of my eyes enveloped my whole body.

They are still together. Wandering in Anfu Lane, knowing that she was just across the wall, but couldn't go in.Don't know what they are doing either. I don't know how long I stood there, two women walked by side by side, discussing in a low voice: "There must be a lot of people in the Temple of Flowers today, and all the women in the capital will go there to send flowers. We wait for the afternoon Go again, maybe there will be fewer people." It turns out that today's mango seeds. It's spring time. I went to the nearby shop and picked up a small sedan horse made of green willow branches, and crossed the bridge to lightly knock on the small door of her house.

Seeing me, the maid said in surprise, "You just happened to be a step late, and the girl has gone out." I hurriedly asked: "Where are you going?" "Then how do I know?" She frowned at me. I thought it must be to the Temple of Flowers, so I ran all the way to the south of the city. In Grain Grain weather, the streets are full of tribute flowers to welcome the return of the flower god Xichun, and they are placed in front of the windows. The women all wear gauze clothes of light colors, pink, light purple, light green, lake blue, light yellow, indistinct blue, and moon white.On the branches of the trees are hanging things woven with flowering branches and wicker, and the birds are fighting, all of which are light and delicate, swaying in the wind on the branches.

Among the thousands of delicate colors, she was seen from a distance following Zhao Congzhan in the crowd. She was wearing a light yellow shirt, which was light and thin in summer, and seemed to be sent to the sky by the breeze.The corners of the skirt fluctuate in the wind, like a Lingxiao flower that is just blooming. I followed her from a distance and saw her walking slowly in front.Walking along the Royal Street, the flowers and trees are red and purple, she is as graceful and slender as a cloud among the falling petals. Faint and far away. Stop and go, Yujie goes south all the way, crossing Zhouqiao, in front of you are Wangloushan Cave Plum Blossom Steamed Buns, Lijiaxiang Shop, Granny Cao Meat Cake, and Li Sifen Tea.

What they bought was Granny Cao's meatloaf. The store is not big, and it's not yet noon, so there are very few customers.It was still far away from the store, and I could already smell the aroma of the cakes in the oven. She probably likes the cakes here very much. As soon as she arrived here, a trance smile appeared on her face. The owner of the store is not a mother-in-law, but an old man. When he saw them in the crowd, he immediately called out: "Xiao Yi, three meatloaf, purple tipped Mongolian tea, and four small dishes." Diagonally opposite Li Sifen Tea Shop, people in the shop are making Lou Yingchun, pasting cups with carved paper, making tea and removing the paper, as flower bodies.Then use lychee meat as leaves, pine nuts, duck feet, etc. as pistils, and stir with boiling soup.

I casually stood beside Leu Yingchun, only paying attention to them. The old man put things on them and asked: "The two of you haven't come to me for a while, where are you going?" She took a sip of her tea lightly, and said in a low voice, "I went to Jiangnan, and it took me so long to come back." Zhao Congzhan didn't speak at the side, just looked at her with a smile. I also took a sip of Leu Yingchun, the smell was bitter.Leaking Spring is meant for viewing, not for drinking. Seeing that there were no guests, the old man simply sat next to them and asked, "Go to Jiangnan? Is the young master working there now?"

She nodded and said softly: "Well, now we live in Jiangnan, three or two small houses, I grow orchids, and he just writes some poems when he is free." She lied casually, with the corners of her mouth slightly raised, watching Zhao Congzhan, It seemed as if he saw the future between himself and Zhao Congzhan. "Girls should worry about the rich and the idle, and even the officials should be jealous." The old man joked. Zhao Congzhan lowered his head to help her tear the meatloaf apart with chopsticks, and said in silence for a long time, "Yes, it's like a dream."

I turned my face to the side to see the busy traffic outside, and the crowd was noisy. After staring at it for a long time, my eyes were blurred. They sat for half an hour without speaking again. I also kept looking out.I couldn't move until she left. When she walked away, I slowly stood up and asked the old man pretending to be casual: "Just now, that girl and Mr. Zhao often come here?" "I used to come here often. Mr. Know them?" He put down his hand asked Shovel. I said 'hmm', and then asked: "Are they on good terms?" "Needless to say, at a young age, of course there is inseparable affection." The old man laughed, "I really envy others."

I thought of her dreamy smile just now, and my heart suddenly became ruthless, and I said: "These two people are together, just like a couple of gods and gods." The old man smiled. In the Temple of Flowers, there are all women, peaches and plums are thick, and Yingyans are singing. I went to the main hall to offer the green willow branches and sedan horse in front of the statue of the flower god. The flower god today actually has a phoenix crown and a xiapei. The clothes I'm used to wearing are unspeakably vulgar on this statue. Back and forth, the main hall and the side halls were searched all over, and all kinds of women passed by, but she was not there.

no idea where it is? Seeing me looking around, those women also half-covered their faces with round fans, quietly watching me and discussing.When I turned my head to look at her, I hurriedly turned around shyly, showing smiling eyes. It's just that there are so many pupils, not the fox-like pair I'm familiar with. When he ran to the bamboo forest in the backyard, a faint sound of the flute pierced through the noise and entered his ears. A song of drunken flowers.full of pathos. I know whose flute it is.Ning Wang Ziyudi of the Tang Dynasty, Zhao Congzhan of the Song Dynasty. She was about a foot away from Zhao Congzhan, sitting on the bluestone, silently looking at him with her own eyes.

There was a melting around them, and everything flowed smoothly behind them. I stared at her eyes, which were moist, and there were entangled voices of warblers in those eyes, spring rain and flowers blooming. She has never looked at me with such eyes. What I have is just the comforting one, like the candy she stuffed me that year, beautiful and sweet, but I have never been cut like this, and the reason is still messy.In her eyes, I was actually a little brother she could deal with casually. It turned out that I was the only one talking to myself all the time, but I thought I had really got it. But what do I get? Their universe, smoke and clouds flow, and I stand behind a flower window, just like standing outside the nine heavens. I can't get anything. Just like when I was thirteen years old, I ran out of the bed and waited for her in those bone-piercing cold winds.Seeing the sky light up, I realized that everything was powerless. powerless.I leaned my head against the wall and thought about it carefully. In my most difficult times, she has always been by my side, always.I have no one to get along with in this world, only her, who must be by my side. If she leaves, how am I going to live? She wants to leave me, what can I do? I was thinking about it in secret, and after suffering for a long time, I suddenly thought of something. He lowered his head and sneered silently. Zhao Congzhan, it is unfortunate that you were forced to marry the daughter of the Empress Dowager Cong's brother Gong Mei. Back in Guangsheng Palace, the Queen Mother was waiting for me in Chonghe Hall. She said euphemistically: "The emperor has been out of the palace very frequently recently, and it is better to reduce it in the future." "With the mother and queen here, the child is free and carefree, so I went out of the palace to pass the time." I laughed. Actually, I haven't been out for two months.The queen mother actually said such clumsy polite words. The queen mother nodded, and said silently: "Raising orchids is an elegant thing, and it's fine." I'm not surprised at all.It is a matter of course for my mother to know where I am and what I am doing.She probably thought that I was still bewitched by the snake spirit, but she didn't say anything, maybe the queen mother is also busy with her own affairs. Twilight brings tea. "What does the emperor think of yesterday's incident?" The empress mother was disturbed, I could see it early.But she didn't want to ask, since she really cared about it, so she was busy asking. "What?" I just don't know. The queen mother frowned slightly, calmed her breath, and said slowly: "My mother's parents died back then, and she was alone and helpless. It was all up to my elder brother to take him in. The mother's queen was given to him all her life." Only then did I nod my head and asked: "It turns out that what the empress said was about yesterday's censor Cao Xiugu, Yang Kai, Guo Quan and Duan Shaolian who jointly signed a letter requesting a thorough investigation of Liu Congde's crimes?" "Congde is your uncle's biological son, the emperor can say a word for him." I also nodded: "A picture is not a big deal, the censor makes a fuss out of a molehill." The queen mother seemed relieved and asked, "What does the emperor mean?" "Wuzi, in March this year, didn't he just promulgate the "Heavenly Sage Compilation Edict"? What do you want the censors to say? Just follow the law." The queen mother stood up suddenly, and swept the tea table with her wide sleeves, splashing the tea all over the floor. I slowly reached out to wipe off the cold splash on my chin. "Did the emperor forget that when Congde was fighting crickets with you, the two were lying on the grass. Congde was afraid that the emperor's dragon robe would be dirty, so Tete took off his robe and put it under the emperor's knee?" I sneered slightly: "So, the empress thinks that the servants who have fought crickets with the emperor in the palace will be pardoned for the crime of death?" The queen mother stared at me, but couldn't say anything. I felt that my attitude was too aggressive, so I quickly lowered my voice: "The emperor also has no other choice. Tomorrow in the court hall, the queen mother can decide for herself." The queen mother was very angry, she flicked her robe sleeves, let out a long breath, then turned her head to look at me, her brows were filled with endless sorrow.She walked gently to my side, put her hand on my shoulder, and said in a low voice: "Yi Yi, your uncle is the only family member of the queen mother. The poor and lowly families can reunite with each other, why is our royal family like this?" The voice of the queen mother is as gentle as when I was a child, she and Concubine Yang Shu whispered about how I would grow up, how tall I would be, and how smart I would be when I fell asleep. When I was young, I liked to eavesdrop on what my mother said. I thought of how my mother treated me well before, so I couldn't help but softened, and said, "Since my mother said so, I won't pursue it. It's my own family anyway. It's just that my mother should properly appease my subjects. Don't let them say that my mother is looking for me." An insignificant person is perfunctory." She showed a faint smile: "I naturally know how to pursue responsibility. The emperor can rest assured." After I sent my mother off, I went out to see her on the chariot, with a vague but unconcealable smug expression behind the curtain. The queen mother thought that she was controlling me. Turning around and entering Guangsheng Palace, he actually stepped up three steps like a child in one breath. Ear seed (2) Grain in ear, return in spring. Flower gods are bid farewell everywhere in the capital, and even the palace is full of embroidered thread and ribbons, which are tied to the flower trees. When the wind comes and goes, the flower petal embroidered ribbons flutter and roll with the wind, showing a beautiful world. The court ladies put on crimson gauze clothes in late spring and early summer, which are light red, purple and yellow, light and soft.Gather under the flowers and weave chariots and horses with thin willow branches to send Qing'e home. It seems that there is nothing else in the world except the sweet smell of peaches and plums. I sat in the back garden and watched Zhang Qingyuan play on the swing. The layers of gauze clothes floated into the clouds, which was beautiful.Xiaoxie is facing the water, the waves are shimmering, and her clothes flutter like a fairy. It's a pity that I have already fallen in love with a fox, and I can no longer fall in love with a fairy. Hearing that the maid next to her was extremely bored chatting about gossip. "It's Mr. Zhao Congzhan, the clan!" A court lady next to Zhang Qingyuan rushed to say, "People in the capital often talk about him, and it has become a joke." I happened to hear it, so I asked, "What joke? Tell me?" She was even interested in me, and her eyebrows became brighter: "The queen mother's niece has already liked someone else at home. Therefore, it is said that she locked Master Zhao out the night she married Master Zhao, and even stayed at her mother's house after returning home for three dynasties. According to the descendants of the Zhao family, the two of them have never even met each other. For this reason, Mr. Zhao has become a joke in the capital, and he still dare not pick up his wife and go home." All the women around laughed out loud. I sneered and frowned.It's a joke in the whole capital, so maybe she knows it too? The next day the weather was very hot and there was no court event. After reading the scriptures of various ministries, I wrote on several important scriptures that I would like to ask my mother to consider it, and asked Bofang to send someone to the Queen Mother's Chonghui Hall for approval. The palace servants brought ice-cold soup, and I told them not to make any more, but to get ice directly. I brought ice to her in Anfu Lane, where she was enjoying the cool with a white round fan in Huaiyin. I was very happy to see the ice, and said: "It happens that I am also very hot, let me make shaved ice for you!" She brought the boiled red beans and instructed me to break the ice into pieces.Then stir together and pour over thin honey.One bowl per person, sitting at a stone table under the shade of a tree and eating slowly. Ice cold.I don't like cold things, not to mention it's only April. "Haven't you ever eaten something like this?" She looked at me expectantly. I smiled at her: "There are also people in Ouchi who make something like this. They smash the ice into pieces, sprinkle sugar on it, add fruit water, and then float the bowl in the water with saltpeter, and the contents and water can be frozen into ice cream. Soft crushed ice. My mother likes to crush it with Liao people's cheese and fruit, it tastes very good..." She snorted and said, "You guys already have ice cream?" "What ice cream?" I asked. She rolled her eyes and smiled: "It's nothing...is it delicious?" I said, "It's still the best one you made." Because she made it for me with her own hands, I think it's the best thing in the world. She smiled sweetly, and sat with me under the shade of the tree. I saw fine sweat on her forehead, and gently fanned her with the round fan next to her. It's quiet here, without any noise. Those tiny light and shadows sifted down between the leaves of the locust tree, like thin threads woven with light, slowly rolling on her face with the flow of the wind, and the years seemed to pass like this up. Those Sophora japonica flowers are very light, and when there is no wind, they seem to slowly draw curves and circle down in the air. On an afternoon like this, there is no sound. Fanning her, watching her sideways intently. I just want time to be in this moment forever, let me listen to her subtle breathing, and grow old. She wiped the sweat on her forehead, squinted her eyes and approached my fan, but she didn't realize that the bright red lips were within reach of me as soon as I lowered my head. She didn't realize it, but put her head on the tree trunk next to my shoulder, said with trembling eyelashes: "Little brother, I'm so sleepy, it really is spring." Late spring, early summer. She is right next to me. I held my breath and slowly lowered my head to kiss her. Those soft lips suddenly turned away when I didn't touch them. She didn't seem to know what I was going to do just now, so she went to the side and picked up a fallen flower to look carefully. I also had no choice but to remain silent. But she suddenly mentioned Zhao Congzhan and said: "I went to the Temple of Flowers yesterday, and I just met Cong Zhan. He blew me the tune of Drunken Flower Yin." My whole body froze, I knew she was lying, but I didn't expose it, and said deliberately: "I heard that he and his wife have a bad relationship." I want to hear her say something deeper, but she just said in a daze: "I didn't expect that his wife already has someone she likes. Now, after a year or so, he and his wife will write a letter of divorce and divorce each other." Separated." "They are already discussing the separation?" I was stunned. "If his wife wanted to leave on her own initiative, the Empress Dowager would definitely not do anything to his family." She said slowly, I was silent for a long time beside me, my heart was in a mess. She added: "But if he were someone else's husband, I would definitely not be with him. It is impossible for me to share my husband with another woman." I was secretly relieved. She turned to look at me, but smiled at me and said, "Little brother, just like you." I. I just thought of my queen and concubine. After being stunned for a long time, she heard her whispering: "I don't know where to find someone who only marries me? In your place, maybe everyone is someone who doesn't know me... Maybe I have to go back to find it. " A man who only married her. The mood suddenly sank into the abyss, maybe because I knew that only this one thing, I would never be able to do it. She shook her head lightly, trying to say something, but the last thing she said was: "How would you know..." Yes, how do I know how they get along? Compared with Zhao Congzhan, I will always be less of the past. They had what used to be a void of time that I was completely powerless to do. But now, I hope she can forget the past and start over. Silently, I raised my hand to pinch her wrist, slender and soft. Finally plucked up the courage, and asked softly in her ear: "Before you go back...can I ask a question that only you people know?" She glanced at me and asked, "What's the matter? It can't be a big deal, otherwise I can't say it." I heard the speed at which my own blood flowed in my chest, as if thousands of clouds were whistling and surging.Almost a little trembling, fearful of an unknown fate. I spread her hand and slowly wrote two words in her palm. Emin. These two words, she wrote to me last time, almost engraved in my life. I don't know if I can write to her heart this time? "I want this person to be by my side forever... Did I realize this wish in the end?" In this short moment, I waited for her answer, but it seemed as long as exhausting all my innocence. She retracted her hand slightly, looked down at her palm, her hair covered her face, so her expression was impeccable. Then she looked up, and I saw her clearly and clearly blooming a quiet and clear smile to me, like those orchids blooming almost coldly and silently in the quiet night.All my intentions are like sinking in an endless well, sinking, sinking. Until there is no more trace, and then, I don't know where it disappeared, and never appeared again. She smiled slightly at me and said, "This matter will not be recorded. And my sister wants to go home." I actually don't have many sorrows and joys, in fact, I should have known it earlier. It's just that those winds that were on the rooftops rushed madly at this time, as if there was a crash, and the whole sky poured down while watching. Then I felt the pain on my skin. She is so easy, with a single sentence, all my intentions were wiped out. The weather in April has merged, and the Sophora japonica has been falling on my hair and clothes without making a sound. Quietly opened, and quietly fell. No one but me knows how a spring ends. She held my shoulder and asked me, "Do you want shaved ice?" She acted as if nothing had happened. I shake my head. She stood up, walked straight to the door, and asked the person at the door in a low voice: "Why didn't you come in when you got here?" It's Zhao Congzhan. Only then did Zhao Congzhan come in and greet me. "Forget it, it's outside the palace anyway." I said dumbly. She asked from the side: "What's the matter?" Zhao Congzhan said lightly: "Come to bid farewell to Miss Ai Min. I'm leaving the capital." She asked in surprise, "Where are you going?" "Aizhou. I'll be the chief resident envoy." Zhao Congzhan didn't have any sadness on his face. She took a deep breath, half to him, and half to me questioning: "Why did you suddenly make you go to such a far place to become an official?" Zhao Congzhan didn't dare to speak, so I said nonchalantly from the side: "The Dali Temple found out that Liu Congde was instigating the empress dowager's establishment of the court, and he was the one behind the scenes. In fact, this is just a transfer method commonly used in the court. It's just that since the empress dowager said so, who would Dare to say no?" She glanced at my understatement, and asked Zhao Congzhan: "Is this the end?" He nodded, but he didn't seem to take it seriously, and said: "Fortunately, because I belong to the clan, the emperor granted me special forgiveness, otherwise I would be charged with beheading." She paused, and finally asked slowly: "Are you going to take... your wife?" Zhao Congzhan shook his head, smiled, and said, "No, she has returned to her natal family and asked me for a divorce letter." I stood up suddenly in horror, but they didn't notice me at all.She rushed forward and asked, "What's going on?" "Aizhou is a remote place. Why bother to let people who have nothing to do with suffer together? Besides, she and the young master of the Lin family are in love with each other. I delayed her." He didn't say a word about the woman who abandoned him when he was in trouble.I felt a little guilty in my heart, but I thought, what does this have to do with me?It's all the meaning of the queen mother. She was silent for a long time, then suddenly she turned her head and smiled at me, and said, "Little brother, it's so hot, can you help us get some ice? My sister taught you how to do it just now." She actually pushed me. I knew she was going to let me go.So stood up and went inside. She was so indifferent to me.It's cruel. When I walked to the orchid shelf, I looked back at them, and in front of me was a large pot of Cymbidium, plump and soot-purple flowers, and the petals were as thick as dew. Through the densely packed light green leaves of the orchids, I listened coldly to her whispering in his ear: "I will go to Iowa with you." "Our appointment is in Jiangnan, not a place like Qingtang. It is said that people who just go there will always peel off three layers of skin in the sun." "You were abandoned by your wife, and you got a bitter and cold official position that you can never recover from. Do you think anyone else wants you besides me? I have long wanted to go to Tibet, so don't hinder my dream!" She grabbed his hand Hands shaking, like a child acting like a baby. Zhao Congzhan had no choice but to hug her shoulder indulgently and said, "Okay, let's go together." It was obviously a helpless tone, but it was full of happiness. I saw that she stretched out her arms to hug Zhao Congzhan very naturally, put her lips up and kissed him. I stood in a quiet corner, watching what was just a short distance away from me, but which I couldn't touch, was lingering thrillingly in front of me. It turned out that my mind was the result of this. fate. They obviously didn't care one bit when I came out. I don't want to see them either.Let me pretend I don't know anything, I'm not that good, I can't do it. I slowly found a place to sit down because I couldn't stand anymore. Looking up at this April day, the sky is so blue that it is almost as bright as glass. Is everything I have experienced with her just a vain landscape? If she didn't stay here peacefully for me, then why did she provoke me to be so delusional? If we are really like this, then why did fate let us meet, let me rejoice in this scene in vain.Do I get this empty bliss and say to myself, it's over, remember to forget, so I can forget as if it never came and went? What this life has given me is the end of the song. Is this the fate between me and her? I have no way to admit that all my thinking ended in such a hasty way in the end.How can I admit it? I have liked her for ten years, how could I just give up everything like this. I slowly stretched out my hand to caress my right cheek. Ten years ago, I felt as if the singing came through the water, and it seemed to be intermittent and misty. Like a thread of love, it flowed deeply from her fingertips ten years ago and plunged into my heart veins. Since then, it has been lingering, unable to withdraw, unable to touch, and the touch is bloody and excruciating. Since God chose her to appear by my side at that time, God must know that I need her more than Zhao Congzhan.Yes, what does Zhao Congzhan have to do without her?And I can't live without her. So, she must be mine. When I went out, Zhao Congzhan was about to leave, but he was still waiting for me to come out to say goodbye. "I should go back too, why don't we go together." I said lightly. She walked us to the door and said with a smile: "Then I'm going back to pack my things, you guys go." We were silent all the way. When I got to Fanlou, I turned around and asked Zhao Congzhan, "Why don't you go up and have a seat?" Coincidentally, it happened to be Yulutao's room. Sitting by the window and looking downstairs, the hustle and bustle of Tokyo is under my gaze. The building is really high, which makes me feel very comfortable. I began to like this feeling. It is different from watching the stars in the distant sky on the rooftop. It is naturally very satisfying to see others under your feet. Zhao Congzhan poured me wine, it was Luhuabai.Xiao Se's name. "Be kind to yourself in Iowa." I exchanged a drink with him, and he accepted with trepidation. We drank that glass of wine, and there was a commotion outside the window. I looked out the window and saw that the old man downstairs was chasing a naughty boy and screaming, as if he wanted to renege on his debt. When I thought of the past, I couldn't help smiling, and said, "So it's the same as I was back then." Zhao Congzhan was naturally very strange, and asked behind me: "How can the emperor confuse these ordinary people?" I look back at him.As if for the first time, I really took a look at this person from my nephew generation. His face and skin are pale, and he wears a fine linen shirt, which is a soft material that has been washed many times but has not looked old. The sky outside is bright, and when he looks at the darkness inside, his pupils are strangely sharp Shrinking a little, eyes suddenly went black. After a while, his pale forehead slowly emerged in front of me, like ice and snow. This person is like the black-clothed son of Wang Xie's family mentioned in the book. "Do you still remember that the Kaifeng mansion sent a strange amount of money many years ago? At that time, you were still an imperial servant." He understood: "Is it Miss Ai Min's?" "So you know." I nodded and said, "I remember that I was fourteen years old, and I escaped with her Shangyuan to watch the lanterns, and ate Yuanzi at that small stall, but neither of us had any money..." Thinking of that Shangyuan, I suddenly felt something sweet welling up in my heart. Those lanterns, those fireworks, and the bright colors changing on her face were all presented in front of her eyes one by one. "Both of them have no money... She joked that poor and lowly couples are sad... At that time, I couldn't come out without my mother's permission, but she abducted me... holding hands and running away quickly." I am indulging in the gentle afterglow of the past, just like being intoxicated by the rays of the setting sun, and a large area fades away the true beauty of gold and purple. Zhao Congzhan's face darkened, but he didn't say anything. "At that time, the fireworks ignited the fire and jumped towards me. She hugged me without thinking anything, and used her body to protect me, as if this was the most natural thing. But I thought at the time, what if We have a future, and I must treat her well for the rest of my life, just like she was not afraid of me without thinking about anything that day. I... made an oath in my heart. " We were silent for a long time, amidst the comings and goings of people in the distance below, everything we had in the past has disappeared. Zhao Congzhan asked in a low voice: "Why did the emperor say this to the minister?" I looked straight into his eyes and asked, "Are you going to Iowa with her?" "Yes." He replied softly, but without hesitation. I smiled almost cruelly, and asked: "Didn't you give up on her back then? When I was fourteen years old, she was in the prison. She forgave you, but I didn't." "So, I advise you not to go with her." He looked up at me silently, saw the mocking smile on my face, and then there was a sudden coldness in his eyes. "Your majesty thinks you are great?" Zhao Congzhan's voice was extremely sharp. I have never seen such an expression on the kind-hearted Zhao Congzhan, and I feel a little uncomfortable. But he didn't pretend to be a momentary gaffe, and continued to say in a low voice: "There is no burden. Those who don't know where your family and your future are, of course, don't pay attention. Just because of your words, your family members In the future, I will be hated and attacked by the most powerful power in the imperial court. Of course, the emperor does not need to understand. What kind of situation is my family in? Where does the emperor need to know this?" I was silent and sneered. "Who do you think we owe everything we are now, and who made us become like this?" He stared at me and asked slowly, "Your Majesty?" Something slowly came to my mind. I can't say how I feel, but I think I'm probably sad. Actually sad. Hearing his voice, Bing Bing said coldly: "Obviously we have told the emperor about our marriage, but the emperor recommended me to the empress dowager... Let me marry the empress dowager's niece, what does the emperor think?" It turned out that he already knew that it was my words to my mother.Probably the queen mother told him from the beginning. I was silent for a long time, and then sneered slightly: "In this world, I was the first person to see her. I fell in love with her when I was thirteen years old. Why did you show up? Why did you show up?" His eyes stared at me secretly behind fine lashes. It made him look both resentful and pity me. I hated this feeling, turned my face to the side, and said: "Don't worry, go to Aizhou alone, I won't bother you anymore." He seemed to twitch the corner of his mouth, and then sneered: "Is the emperor happy now? I finally understand that people are forced to accept fate when they need it, and use it as a shield when they don't need it. The big deal in life is So...it turns out that everything is my delusion." He looked at me in a low voice and sneered, "Life is like this, I thought that one day we would be like our dreams... I will be free in the end, me and She is together, living the life we ​​want. It turns out that this is how I have been all my life. Everything is... idiot's dream. In fact, I have nothing left in this life..." I don't want to listen to his cold voice, broken language without sentences. I felt chills all over my body, and said: "You can do it for yourself!" and hurriedly opened the door and went out. I heard him say lightly from behind: "I'm afraid everything may not be as you wish..." I was stunned for a while on the side of the street, my heart was empty, and I didn't know why. After a long time, I heard someone calling me in my ear: "Little brother!" I turned around and saw it was her. She said with a smile, "I have something to do at Cong Zhan's house, why are you standing here alone?" I took her hand and said coldly: "You don't need to go to his house, I just told him above..." After hesitating for a while, I realized that I couldn't speak, and I was stunned for a long time. She smiled and asked, "What did you tell him?" When I turned around, Zhao Congzhan's ice-like face suddenly appeared in front of my eyes again. Xuanxuan is like the morning glow. I was very upset.I don't know what the consequences would be if I confided my feelings to Zhao Congzhan. If she knew what I did, how would she react, and what should I do? In the end, I thought about it and said, "You don't need to go to his house, I think..." I only heard a loud bang, which interrupted my speech. Together, we turned our heads to look at the place that was only three steps away from us. Zhao Congzhan lay there quietly, the bright red blood under the sun slowly flowing towards us from under his body.It was as if he stretched out a hand made of blood and slowly came over to caress our feet. And his expression was joyless and carefree, as if he was sleeping peacefully among the gorgeous flowers in spring. I just remembered the last sentence I said to him, so I can do it for myself. The last words that Emperor Taizu said to Emperor Taizong when the candle shadow was sounding the axe. Did I mean it, or did I say it unintentionally? Ear Seed (3) When I went back, the palace was very quiet, only flowers and willows and a few trees were left. Grain in ear yesterday, today, has entered the summer. It's almost evening, and the spring event of the year is coming to an end. Standing alone by the Xianrui Pool, watching the wind return to the surface of the water, the fallen wreaths gather, and they all gather under the exquisite stone. I don't know what to do. When I was young and ignorant, I tried to keep her, but she was thrown into the prison of Dali Temple and imprisoned alone, and there was nothing I could do by myself in the palace. Up to now, I want to keep her again, but why did I force Zhao Congzhan to die? I never thought that a person would die because of my willfulness. I don't want to hurt anyone.I just want to get what I need, but I didn't expect it to be like this. He committed suicide, and by the way, killed the dazzling splendor and sadness that I had been entangled with her for ten years. I knew that I would never have a beautiful and clean future with her. He said, I'm afraid you may not be able to do what you want. I don't know how to see her in the future. Zhao Congzhan, you're right, I'm afraid I can't do what I want. He is a person who has been with me since I was a child, and he is closer to me than ordinary relatives of the emperor. He was buried by the internal bureau, and the Chinese envoy was sent to supervise him, and the official paid him to show the emperor's favor.And allowed to go out at Nanxunmen. The next day, I stopped for a day, and in the evening, I went to Luzhou Hou's mansion to pay homage to Zhao Congzhan.People all over the street watched Yujia and talked about Zhao Congzhan's affairs.There are different opinions on the car driving to the funeral for those who have just committed serious crimes. I got out of the car, and Bofang waited for me into the mourning hall, and put on plain clothes for me. Seeing her kneeling next to her made her feel a little uncomfortable.Maybe Zhao Congzhan's family regarded her as their own, so they let her here. After going to see Zhao Congzhan's remains, it seems that the serenity of yesterday is gone, and the lines of the whole face are slightly stiff.Speechless, he patted the coffin, and didn't want to shed tears in front of her, for fear of hypocrisy. Back in the front hall, I took the incense from Bofang and put it in the incense burner, but I didn't think about anything. The posthumous title of "Wen Jing" was announced.The people from the Zhao family thanked me, and then I signaled them to go down, "Let me hold my condolences here for a while." Everyone quit.I stopped her in a low voice: "Miss Ai, I want to ask you something." 赵从湛的弟妹都很惊讶，但是也不敢说什么，留下了她。 她漠然地看着赵从湛的灵位，没有瞧我。 我也不知道自己想要怎么样，心里空空的。 “你，是否还要回去？”良久才问了这么一句。 她点了下头。 几乎绝望了，我还是要问：“你会为他留下来，为什么……不能为我停留？” 她轻轻地看了我一眼，什么也不说。 我早已知道，那是我的爱，即使全部流入沟渠，我也不能说她什么。可是现在，因为她这轻轻的一眼，我突然恨极了她。 是，我恨极了她。 好像我就是毫无价值的，甚至不值得她花一个深一点的眼神来打发我，我理所当然地虚耗我的生命与思量，而对她不过是一个小弟弟的倾慕，她注定我这人生，一场空想。 她并没有理会我，在那里顾自说：“我真想不到，原来是自作孽，我自作孽……” 突然冷笑了出来，我毛骨悚然地听她笑了很久，又变成了哀哭。那骇人的可怕声音在灵堂里隐隐回响，四面八方都是她的声音直刺入我的脑中，不知是哭是笑。我害怕极了，终于扑上去扼住了她的喉咙，大声叫道：“你停下！” 她被我一扑，身体往后一仰就倒在地上。 我勉强把身体在空中侧了一下，但是她的头虽然没磕到，肩膀却撞在了青砖地上。我来不及躲避，也倒在她身上。 她却似忘记了推开我，盯着我的脸，说：“真是想不到，我以为……我抓住了好机会，能让你与皇太后相争，后党的人失势，我与从湛就还有未来……没想到……没想到你与太后的事情，会第一个把他扯进去……我真是自作孽……” 我呆了好久，才明白。 听到自己的叫声，凶狠极了：“原来你告诉我的……我母亲的事，都是假的……你是故意骗我，让我和母后嫌隙！你……你……” 我没办法说完整的话。 她恶狠狠地盯着我，说：“就算李宸妃是你母亲，我平白无故又有什么必要告诉你？我何必闲着没事陪你走那一趟？我没想到你这么好骗，我告诉了你，你就相信……你什么皇帝！原来只不过有个小孩子的判断力！” 原来……如此。 我浑身寒透。 都是骗我的。 去永定陵那一夜，在失了一切的漆黑里，她伸手来握住我的手，拢在自己的双掌心中，那些温暖是假的。那些白兰花的香气，那缠绵悱恻如暗夜的雪色竹影，那是假的。她拉过我的手，在我的手心里生生写到我心脉里去的名字，艾悯，那也是假的。 全都是。 艾悯，我当然好骗，因为这个天下的所有人里，我只相信你一个。 所有你的，我都心甘情愿去沉迷其中。 可你给了我这样那样的梦，用温暖美丽来骗得我拿它们替代真实的生命，现在又毫不留情就把它砸碎。我所有孩子一样的撕心裂肺，都不过是你利用来争取自己与赵从湛爱情的筹码。 我宁可你继续欺骗我，我就当作什么也不知道。我愿意什么也不知道。 只要不醒来，那就不是梦。 眼前大片艳红的红色，象血一样，又象是大片灰黑的黑色，象死亡一样。 口中尝到腥甜的味道，是血的味道。我好象是咬了她的肩膀，她的血流到我口中，她大约没有觉得疼痛，因为她一直没有反应。她的身体也冰冷，我觉得她已经死了，连气息都冰凉，喷在我的脖子上，让我的血一层层结了冰花，六棱的尖锐花瓣，从脊椎开始，往下，一寸一寸封冻。 就如同我十四岁时，开始长大那一夜，我的手指穿过她的长发，触摸到了她的脖颈，温热而柔软，象一只狐狸的手感。 听凭年少无知时那些烟花腐烂在我的身体内，我们所有美丽的过往，被我自己践踏。 她到最后也没有哭，她只是闭上眼睛。 我想这样也好，我就看不到她瞳孔里我丑恶的扭曲的脸。 我在她耳边告诉她说：“回去准备一下，明天我派人去接你。” 她没有说话。 “无论如何，我……是喜欢你的。从十三岁，到现在。” 她终于开口说：“赵祯，我真后悔，为什么要遇见你。” 我想她说得对。 我默默地帮她系衣带，帮她把头发都理好，把她为赵从湛而穿的孝衣，消除一切凌乱的样子。 她始终没有看我一眼。 我走到门口，侍立在外面的伯方忙替我除去素服。 他没有一点异常。我想他也是对的。这有什么好奇怪的。 我是皇帝，而她也不是赵从湛的未亡人。我想要哪个女子，伸手可即。 这有什么好奇怪的。 就象她说的，要找一个只娶她一个人的丈夫，在这里几乎是不可能的。 她那里的情况我不知道，但在我的天下，我想要她，难道还要顾忌什么？ 以前十年的犹豫，现在想来，那的确可笑。 沿御街北行，正阳门遥遥在望。 四月的月色下，御沟两旁的花树锦绣一般，却蒙着阴寒的光影。御沟里的水波粼粼，我盯着那些璀璨的光华，直到眼睛都痛了起来。 被冷风一吹，我才把刚才的细节一一想了起来。 现在才诧异。我不知道自己怎么会这样，今晚的事情，我现在就已经后悔了。可除此之外，我不知道自己要怎么得到，要再怎么把她留在自己的身边。 现在我用了最坏的办法，终于成全了我自己。 我把自己手中握的东西拿出来看。 在月亮下，发着冷冷的银光。 那样的情况下，我终于还是从她的脖颈中把这珠子偷偷解下了。大约是为了取下方便，她打的是活结。这倒也方便了我。她现在不知道发现了没有？ 我一抬手要丢到御沟里去，可是想想又把手收回。 不在我自己时时刻刻的监视下，我觉得不稳定。 我一定要放它在最安全的地方才好。 进了外宫城，看到仙瑞池。 前几日刚刚把这个池子的塘泥深挖，现在这池子大约有半人深，而且泥水还浑浊着。 我让身边人都离开，然后一个人在池子边徘徊了很久。 最后我把那珠子丢在了仙瑞池。 大约明天淤泥沉淀下来后，它就永远再见不到阳光了。 第二天刚刚下朝，侍卫亲军马军都指挥使方孝恩就到殿外求见。 他启奏说：“那女子寅末在第一批出城的百姓当中离开了京城。” “往哪里去了？”我问。 “她雇了一辆马车，往南面去，目前不知道要去往哪里。” 南面，大约是江南吧，她与赵从湛梦想中诗书终老的地方。 “皇上要臣派人将她截住吗？” “不用了，派几个人拿令信去，她在哪个州府停留，就让州府将她请出去。总之，别要让她有什么安身之地。” 普天之下，莫非王土。 难道她不懂？ 也许她颠沛流离了不久，就会知道了。 站起身去门口看殿外，大群的雀鸟在天空乱飞。 我低声问伯方：“你可知道哪种禽鸟心气最傲？” “听说是鹰鹞。”他回答。 “也许……但我听说辽人熬鹰只要半月，那鹰便失了所有心气，一辈子乖乖听话。” 不知道人能熬多久？ 那些小鸟还在四处寻找，绕树三匝，不知何枝可依。 四月末，大理寺重审赵从湛案。 五月，母后赐了鸠酒给刘从德。而后接连一个多月，她提拔刘从德的姻戚、门人、厮役拜官者数十人。曹脩古等上疏论奏，被母后连同宋绶全部下逐。 京城议论蜂起，母后不为所动。 七月，夏暑。 母后罢王曙，提拔了刘从德妻弟姚潍和为枢密使，掌京都兵马。 一年最热的时候，太白昼见，弥月乃灭。 我想，大约紫微变动，就在此时了。