When the alarm clock rang, I opened my eyes and pushed Juansheng beside me, "Get up, the hospital has a meeting today." Juan Sheng stretched out his hand and pressed the alarm clock. I put on my nightgown and groped around the edge of the bed for my slippers. "Zijun." "What's the matter?" I turned around and asked. "Let's talk about it in the afternoon. I'll go see if Ping'er has woken up." I opened the door. "Zijun, I have something to tell you." Juansheng was a little impatient. I was stunned, "Say it." I went back to the bed and sat down.

He stared at me blankly.Juan Sheng went out for surgery last night and came back at 2:30, lack of sleep, a little haggard, but still looks handsome, this is the man's advantage, he only shows his demeanor when he is nearly forty years old. I asked softly, "Say what?" He sighed, "I'll talk about it when I come back at noon." I laughed.I opened the door and went to Ping'er. Eight-year-old Ping'er buried his whole face in the pillow and slept soundly. His head was bigger than other children. Chaotic, holding on to comic books all day long. I shake him every day to wake him up for school. Fortunately, I only have one son, otherwise it would take several hours to wake him up every day.

Twelve-year-old An'er poked her head in, "Mom, are you here? I have something to ask you." She looked at her younger brother who was whimpering on the bed, and immediately frowned. , he should be thrown into cold water." I smiled and pulled Ping'er up, the boy's round head was shaking everywhere, he was so cute, I kissed his face hard, and handed him into the hands of the servant A Ping. An'er didn't like it, she said: "If Mom keeps doing this, he will become a sissy in the future." I stretched myself, "Let's talk about it in the future. What do you want me for?"

"My bra is tight again." Ann told me happily. "Really," I was surprised, "I just bought a new one last two months, let me have a look." I followed my daughter to her room, and she took off her morning coat for me to observe. An'er's breasts developed really fast, and they were so puffy that they looked like a girl. I stretched out my hand and pressed her buds. "It hurts," she said. "Wait for me at the door of the company last time after school, and accompany you to buy new ones." She changed into her school uniform, "Mom, will I have 38-inch breasts in the future?" She looked very hopeful.

I glared at her, "Why do you want such big tits?" She said unconvinced, "I'm just asking." I replied, "If you're like me, you won't be over thirty-four." She said: "Perhaps I am better than blue than blue?" I said, "Be careful yourself, don't hit your chest—" She rolled up her schoolbag and walked out of the room. "Hey, where are you going so early?" I asked her. "I'm taking the bus by myself, and I've already made an appointment with my classmates." She said, "I'll see you in the afternoon."

When I returned to the breakfast table, Ping'er was drinking milk, and the white froth covered his upper lip, as if he had grown a beard. Juan Sheng stared blankly at the black coffee. I said, "An'er is a bit weird recently, she seems to have stepped into adolescence from childhood, have you noticed?" I asked him. Juan Sheng was still dazed, not knowing what he was thinking. "Juansheng!" He stood up, "I'll go to the meeting first, don't go out at noon, I'll come back for dinner." "It's cold, do you have enough clothes on?"

He didn't answer me, just went out. I sipped my black tea in a hurry, "Ping, send my younger brother down, and tell the driver: When you go to pick him up, the car has to stop at the school gate, otherwise my younger brother won't be found, so I'll take someone else's car back." Ping'er asked, "Where's my homework? It's due today." "It was put in your schoolbag yesterday, baby," I coaxed him to go out, "You're going to be late, go downstairs." Ping'er just went out when the phone rang and I went to answer it.The other side asked: "How are you? Happy housewife."

"It's you, Tang Jing." I laughed, "What? Lonely to death? I've never seen a woman who complains as much as you." "Hey! I still have a lot of complaints? Xia Chong can't talk to Bing." "Did you have lunch? After dinner, go to a famous store? How about going to the Landmark Cafe?" "It's a deal, a quarter past twelve." Tang Jing said. I finally breathed a sigh of relief. The maid, Aping, came up, "Ma'am, I have something to say." She had a serious face. I sighed, "What else do you have to say?" "Ma'am, Meiji smells bad all over her body, I don't want to share a room with her."

Meggie is a Filipino worker, and she doesn't get along with A Ping. "Nonsense, they don't stink at all." I begged her, "A Ping. You watched your younger brother be born. In this family, there is me and you. What else do you not like? Help me with everything. , without her, who will do the laundry? Scrub the floors, wipe the windows?" She still looks like a stepmother. "Do you want a raise?" I asked. "Ma'am, I'm not that kind of person." I screamed, "What kind of person are you? Are you going to sleep with Mr.? I'll let you."

A Ping spat at me, "I'm going to die, madam, I'm in my fifties and sixties, and my wife is too outrageous." She fled into the kitchen. I leaned on the table laughing. The doorbell rang, and Meggie went to open the door, and it was her mother who came in. "Hey," I said, "Mom, why did you come here? Fortunately, I didn't go out. Why didn't you let me call the driver to pick you up?" "It's nothing." Mom sat down, "Ziqun asked me to borrow an evening handbag from you, saying that I need to use it for a party tonight." I was displeased, "Why does she always send her mother around."

"She's busy in the company, so she can't leave, and she has a lot of entertainment after work." "Which one do you want?" I asked. "Whatever." Mother hesitated. "Evening handbags are the same." "I'll ask her." Dial the phone and go to her office building. Ziqun herself came to answer, "Veronica Zhou." She announced her name. I laughed, "I got the strong woman, it's me, your sister. Which handbag do you want to borrow?" "The one with the 18K gold mesh that my brother-in-law gave me last year," she said, "and I also borrowed that Scarlet brocade shawl." "I really know how to choose." "unwilling?" "Do you think everyone is so stingy? I'll leave it to my mother, and don't ask my mother to run around in the future." "Mom has something to tell you, but she's relying on me again. Where's brother-in-law, is he out of the house?" "There is a meeting in the hospital today, and he left early." "The business of the clinic is okay." "It's passable." "Husband, hurry up." "Is it over? My mother just cares that I have a pair of eyes." "Qi San is getting divorced, do you know that?" I was surprised, "Why did you get divorced?" "A man has some extra money around him, so he must make trouble." She smiled, "So sister, you have to be careful." She hung up the phone. I scolded, "This subgroup is crazy at thirteen o'clock." Mom said, "Zijun, I have something to tell you." I dug out the handbag and shawl and gave them to my mother, and gave her another thousand yuan. "Zijun," my mother asked me, "how has Juansheng been treating you lately?" "As usual, I'm an old couple, what's the matter?" I laughed, "Did Brother come to see you?" "Just say busy." I said, "I've been free for three days and three nights since I rubbed the cards." My mother said, "Zijun, among my four children, you are the one who cares the most. Your eldest brother's business is not solid, your sister-in-law has a bad temper, and the children are foolish. They refuse to get married after thirty. They told me, Ziqun went with a foreign man, I was too embarrassed to answer." I smiled, "Why is there so much right and wrong? It doesn't matter anymore these days." "But it has been like this, the girl's reputation will be ruined..." "Mom, I'll take you home." I patted her on the shoulder. "You don't need to send me off." "I'm going out for a facial too." "It's very expensive. Your sister-in-law is also interested in this, and she doesn't know how to save." I said to A Ping, "I'm not at home for lunch." "But sir is coming back to eat." A Ping said. "You can live with Juan." Mother said hastily. I pondered, "But I have an appointment with Tang Jing." The mother was displeased: "The female classmates and girlfriends are the most popular in your new group. Are they more important than their husbands? I don't like this Tang Jing alone. She has a strange voice, has no one in her eyes, and looks proud. You should not associate with her." .” I said to A Ping, "You waited for Mr. to eat and said that I had an appointment with Miss Tang." My mother looked at me sadly: "Zijun, you just ignore my mother's persuasion." I sent her out, "Mom, you've talked too much recently." We went downstairs, and the driver just came back. I took my mother home and went to Bissie's beauty salon by myself. When the make-up lady saw me, she hurried out to greet me, "Mrs. Shi, this side." I lay on the beauty chair, let out a sigh of relief, and really enjoyed it.The girl rubbed and massaged my face, and I was instantly satisfied.At this moment, Tang Jing was probably in a meeting. She sat upright all morning with a tight smile on her face, and her back hurt after get off work. No wonder sometimes when she saw Tang Jing, she felt haggard. Work hard, find someone to marry early and forget it. "—Do you want to try our new ginseng cream?" He waved his hand and said no. Spraying the warm steam on the face is really helpful. It's just that it's not easy to be a wife these days, and there are many chores at home. Although Tang Jing always said: "You don't need a genius to be a housewife." But luck is absolutely indispensable, otherwise how could Tang Pin have survived for more than ten years outside? . After finishing my face, I checked my watch. It was quarter to eleven. There was not enough time to wash my hair, so I might as well go shopping. I reapplied my makeup and looked radiant. I walked slowly to the Landmark. Sometimes I was really afraid to come to Central. There were so many people, everyone was like headless chickens, bumping back and forth. If you are really in such a hurry, why not How about going out early? The streets are full of those men and women who earn thousands of dollars. It should be sympathetic to waste their beautiful youth on the face of the boss, the sound of typing and the lunch box, but who is happy? I walked into the boutique and I was greeted, "Mrs. Smith." "Oh, Mrs. Jiang, how are you?" She quickly added a smile. "Buying clothes?" Mrs. Jiang asked. "It's rare for me to come and see it. What about you, do you live here for a long time?" I said. "Where can I afford to live?" "Mrs. Jiang is too polite." I picked out a pair of cashmere trousers and had the clerk staple them up for me. Mrs. Jiang struck up a conversation and said, "If you want to buy, choose something more fashionable." I smiled and shook my head, "I'm an old man, and I don't like styles." Clothes with styles are not generous. Mrs. Jiang is trying on lantern sleeves by herself. I wrote a check and made an appointment with the salesman to pick up the clothes next week. "I'll take a step first, Mrs. Jiang." "An appointment for lunch with Dr. Shi?" she asked. "No, I made an appointment with a friend," I laughed, "it's no better than Mr. Jiang's affection for you." She also laughs. I step out of the boutique. I heard people say that Mr. Jiang is dishonest, he likes to listen to music, date small singers for midnight snacks, etc., the taste is really low.But what does it matter to me? I happily found a reserved table, and Tang Jing came as soon as I ordered mineral water. She wore a straight skirt, her hair was combed into a bun, and she looked like an unambiguous career woman. I applauded her. "No one is chasing such a modern and beautiful girl?" I laughed. As soon as she sat down, she retorted, "I'm not being chased? Don't think I'm willing to accompany you to lunch because no one is chasing you. Even Veronica Zhou is being chased. Are you worried about me?" I asked, "How is my younger sister doing in Central?" "The most important thing is that she feels happy." Tang Jing sighed. We asked for simple food. "How have you been lately?" I asked irrelevantly. "Still alive," Tang Jing said, "How about you, still eating, drinking and having fun every day, being his doctor's wife?" I protested, "Can you speak kindly? Having a job doesn't necessarily make a big contribution to society and the people." Tang Jing looked at me, "Really, we are about the same age, why are you still like a chicken, with smooth skin, and I look like a bag of rotten tea dregs, after all, different people enjoy happiness." "What blessing do I enjoy?" I exclaimed, "You are also beautiful after all." "Let's stop complimenting each other, it's been thirteen years since we graduated from college." Tang Jing smiled. I sighed, "Do you know what my daughter said to me this morning? She asked me if she would have 38-inch breasts in the future, and I will accompany her to buy a bra later." Tang Jing gasped, "Bra, the baby I saw she was born wearing a bra now?" "I wore it at the age of ten," I said angrily, "Now there are little boys waiting for her to go to school every day." "It's astonishing, I'm old," Tang Jing waved her hands in despair, "I'm really old." I murmured, "It's scary to get married early. You see, like me, I hurried to the church before graduating from college, and I have been imprisoned by a man all my life, like his slave. Tang Jing smiled, "I'm afraid it's just regrets. I can't wait for this opportunity." "I'm not worried about my girl. She's a little thirteen and doesn't know how to enjoy life. What about you? When will you calm down and find someone?" Tang Jing took a sip of coffee and let out a long sigh. "If there's a good marriage, it's worth exiling the mother to the Sahara," she said. I gave her a white look, "Don't be too humorous." "I don't have a partner. I won't be able to marry in my life." She was very depressed. "You just settle down." I advised her. Tang Jing shook her head, "Zijun, I'm still choosing a husband at this age, so I don't plan to give in. It's like buying a diamond watch—when do you hear women choose a diamond watch with a sloppy attitude?" "What?" My eyes widened. "A husband is like a diamond watch?" Tang Jing smiled: "For me, my husband is like a diamond watch - I have everything now, and I am self-sufficient in food, clothing, housing and transportation; and I don't have to worry about having no one to accompany me. I can change a male companion every day. If I want to marry, I will naturally marry an ideal one." Men, absolutely can't just make up for it, the most important thing is to be able to wear it." "Damn it." I spat at her. She smiled brightly. I wonder if she is always so chic, she also has sad and lonely moments, right?But suddenly, I was a little envious of Tang Jing.How proud-self-sufficient in food, clothing, housing and transportation.It must be the result of hard work, really capable. "Is Juansheng okay with you?" Tang Jing asked. "He never said anything to me." Tang Jing nodded, seeming to hesitate to speak. I comforted her, "Don't worry, you will also marry Ruyi Langjun." Tang Jing looked at the splendid gold Rolex watch on her wrist, "It's time, I have to go back to the office." I said regretfully, "This gold watch doesn't look good on me. This style must be worn by high-ranking women." Tang Jing winked at me, "I'm looking for a job, so I can wear this watch." I broke up with her. I looked at the time, it was a quarter past two, and An'er was about to leave school.Next month is Juansheng's birthday, and I plan to give him a crocodile belt as a present.Wool comes from sheep.It's not all his money, it's just a token of appreciation. After choosing the belt, I walked to Lane Crawford. An'er was already waiting for me at the door with her schoolbag in her arms.She is really tall, she is only twelve years old, only two or three inches shorter than me, and she looks like she is fifteen years old. Seeing me coming up to meet him, he said old-fashionedly, "Buying something for my brother again?" "How do you know?" I stroked her hair. "Everyone knows that Mrs. Shi loves her son the most, because his father is the only child. Grandma once frowned when she saw that her daughter-in-law had given birth to a daughter in her first child. So when the second child had a son, she spoiled her like a dull child." "Who said that?" I scolded with a smile, "Gossiping." "Auntie said." It's boring for Ziqun to tell the children everything about these thirteen points. "What else did she say?" "Auntie said that you have enjoyed all the blessings in the past ten years. You don't know the five grains, and you don't try to make progress. You should be careful." An'er said it slipperyly like an endorsement. My heart skipped a beat.Look at Ann'er. It wasn't the subgroup's jealousy and curses that shocked me.I'm afraid Ziqun has had enough of wandering outside all these years. She has always ridiculed me half-truths, and I'm used to it, so I don't bother to pay attention. What frightened me was the vengeance in my daughter's voice. In the past two or three years, the distance between me and her has grown farther and farther. She has grown too fast, and I have been unable to follow her inner world and capture her psychological state.What is she thinking? She blames me for loving her brother too much?Didn't I give her enough time? I stared at her blankly, this child has grown up, she knows too much, how should I win her favor again? I pretended to be nonchalant and said: "Your aunt always thinks that women who sit in the office are great achievements, but in fact, being a housewife is hard work7" "Really?" Unexpectedly, An'er asked back immediately, "Are you working hard? I don't think so, I don't think you have done anything except drink tea and go shopping. Sister Ping and Meiji did the work at home. Dad earned it. Grandma and grandma came to help during Chinese New Year and holidays. We have tutors for our homework, and Dad takes care of himself. Mom, what have you done?" I just felt that the turbid air was rising, and a twelve-year-old child actually said such words, and I immediately shouted: "At least I gave birth to you!" The salespersons in the department store all turned to look at us, mother and daughter. Ann shrugged, "Every woman will have children." I was shaking with anger. "Who taught you these words?" I asked.Andy had already turned her head and walked away. I hurriedly chased her out, and I disappeared in a blink of an eye. The driver parked the car in front of me, and I gritted my teeth and got in the car, no matter what she went crazy, I'll go home first and talk about it to her slowly tonight. When I got home, my hands were still shaking with anger. A Ping came to open the door, and I saw Juansheng sitting in the middle of the living room. "Hey, why are you at home?" I frowned and asked. Juansheng said, "I'll wait for you until lunchtime." "What are you doing?" I felt sleepy. "I have something to tell you, I remember I told you not to go out at noon." Leisheng said every word, as if very angry. Today is really unlucky, everyone has a bad temper, take me to vent their anger. I explained, "But Tang Jing made an appointment with me—by the way, I also have something to say, this kid An'er is crazy—" "No, sit down and listen to me." Juan was impatient. "What's the matter?" I was displeased, "Your father is going to borrow money again, isn't it? You tell him that now the clinic's house and equipment are purchased in installments, and we still owe the bank ten dollars for the apartment we live in now." How much—” "Listen to me, okay?" Lei Sheng yelled, his eyes opened as big as copper bells. I froze and stared at him. "I only have one thing to say, you heard me clearly, Zijun, I want a divorce." There was a "boom" in my head, "What did you say?" I lost my voice, and pointed at him, "Shi Juansheng, what did you say?" "Divorce," Juansheng murmured, "Zijun, I have decided to divorce you." As if struck by a bolt from the blue, I took two steps back and fell down on the sofa. My heart was in a mess, and I couldn't sort out any emotions. I didn't know how to speak, and I didn't know whether to lose my temper. I just stared at Juansheng. After a long time, I told myself, nightmare, I was having a nightmare, Juansheng, who has always been docile and obedient to me, would not do anything to hurt me, this is not true. Juansheng came over and held my shoulders.When he opened his mouth, I could hear him clearly. He said, "Zijun, I've already found a lawyer. From today onwards, we're officially separated. I've packed up and I'm going to move out." I couldn't catch my breath, and asked blankly, "Are you moving out? Where are you going to move?" "I moved to 'her' house." "'Who is she?" Juansheng was surprised, "You don't know? Do you think there is someone outside me?" "You—is there someone outside?" I felt as if I had been punched in the chest by him. Juansheng said: "My God, everyone in the world knows it, even An'er knows it. This kid hasn't talked to me for two or three months, and you don't know? I always thought you were just pretending." I gradually felt very painful, like an invisible hand patting my heart, I gradually knew the truth of the matter, there was a woman outside—maybe not just for a short time—everyone in the world knew—one alone I was the only one kept in the dark—even my twelve-year-old daughter knew—Juansheng wanted to divorce me— I yelled wildly, covered my ears with my hands, and yelled again and again. With a disgusted expression on Juansheng's face, he walked into the room without saying a word, and when he came out, he was carrying a suitcase. "Where are you going?" I asked tremblingly, "You can't go." Juansheng put down the suitcase, "Zijun, calm down. I have considered this matter for a long time. I can no longer live with you. I will not treat you badly. I will talk to you in detail tomorrow." He said these words like an endorsement generally fluent. "My God," I exclaimed, "this suitcase was for our honeymoon, how could you treat me like this?" "Mom, let him go." I turned my head and saw Ann standing behind me. "Father, you've finished your words, you can go." An'er faced her father firmly, "Why wait to see mom lose her composure?" Juan Sheng was a little jealous of An'er, he asked in a low voice, "You don't hate Dad, An'er?" An'er contradicted him, "I hate you very much, do you still care? You go, I will take care of my mother." Juan Sheng gritted his teeth, turned around and opened the door to go out. A Ping and Mei Ji stood in front of us bewildered, looking as if the end of the world was coming. An'er lowered her face and said to them: "Go to work quickly, sister Ping, and pour a cup of hot tea for the wife." I said to myself: "This is not true, this is not true." My head was in a state of confusion, and I grabbed An'er's hand as if An'er was like a bubble. Helplessly, I raised my head to look at An'er, her clear eyes were expressionless, and her thin lips were tightly pressed together. I said weakly: "An'er, your father is crazy, go and find grandma, quickly, find grandma." A Ping poured hot tea, but I blocked it with my hand, and the cup of tea immediately fell to the ground. "Mom, please be quiet. It's useless to find grandma. Dad doesn't want you anymore." An'er said coldly. He doesn't want me anymore?I thought blankly: How is this possible?On the twelfth wedding anniversary last year, he told me: "Zijun, I love you, even if I want to pursue you again, I am willing." My hands are trembling, he doesn't want me anymore?How is it possible, he hasn't done anything bad for many years... A Ping poured out the tea again, and I took a sip with An Er's hand. An'er asked me: "Can I find Aunt Jing?" I nodded: "OK, you ask her to accompany me." Ann went to make a phone call, and I made up my mind. Is there someone outside him?who?Even Ann knows?Who is it? An'er came over and said, "Aunt Jing said she would come right away." I asked, "An'er, is your father's girlfriend right?" An'er pursed her lips, "It's Leng Jiaqing's mother." "Who is Leng Jiaqing?" "My classmate Leng Jiaqing, I played the fairy at the Christmas ball last year, and she played the devil." I slowly remembered, "Isn't Leng Jiaqing's mother a movie star? Call—" "Gu Lingling." An'er said bitterly, "Shameless, when I see my father, I will pester him and talk nonsense." "Movie star?" I murmured. "She stole my husband?" It's a pity that I don't have any impression of Gu Lingling. What have I been doing these days?She didn't even know her husband was having an affair. There is nothing unusual about Juan Sheng's daily life.He works eight hours in the clinic during the day, sometimes visits the clinic at night, and sometimes goes to the hospital for surgery on weekends. It has been more than ten years.I can't follow him to practice medicine. Husband and wife always talk about mutual trust. I didn’t do anything wrong. Don’t worry about the big and small things at home. He just needs to bring home and get what he wants. He has never worried about buying a house and decorating it. I will run around and travel to other places , I should be responsible for the air ticket and luggage, my child finds a prestigious school, and his parents' birthday party is all planned by me. What did I do wrong? When I went out to socialize, I was very happy and kind, and I was not rude to him. In fact, every time I came back from a banquet, he would always say, "Zijun, the most beautiful woman tonight is you." English, can be regarded as a standard wife, what did I do wrong?I don't understand. As for being at home, Juansheng and I have always had emotional exchanges, and I am also a college student. Although he is a doctor, he is more than enough to match him, and he will not be rude. What is wrong? I blankly thought about it from beginning to end, but still didn’t understand that Juansheng was listed to practice medicine in the past three years. I lived with him in the hospital dormitory for ten years, and our life was not considered luxurious. There was only one person around me. A Ping is a helper. I am young and have two children. It is difficult to endure for a while. It is not a problem to get up in the middle of the night to breastfeed. Time is not alone. Even if I now have a driver and a servant, I have spent a lot of effort beforehand, and I deserve it. Besides, Juansheng is not a millionaire now, and he just took out a bank loan to start a business... And he doesn't want me anymore. He said to me simply and straightforwardly: "Zijun, I want to divorce you." Then he packed up his suitcase, picked it up, opened the door and left. He moved in with her. The love and friendship between husband and wife for more than ten years was wiped out. How could this happen to me?It's normal to see other people on and off, but how could it happen to me? An'er pushed me, "Mom, talk to me." Her voice was a little frightened. I came to my senses.My daughter is only twelve years old, and my son is only eight years old. Will I get used to it in the future? How should I live?I feel like falling into a bottomless abyss, my body is floating, my seven souls and three souls are wandering, empty like a soul without an owner. Suddenly I remembered, it was half past four, where is Ping'er, where did he go?Why didn't you come back from school. "Where's Ping'er?" I asked tremblingly. "Ping'er went to grandma's house to play." An'er replied. "Oh." I replied. Runsheng didn't even want his daughter or son. He loved these two children so much, how could he be willing to part with the two children when he changed the baby's diaper himself. With all the factors together, it is impossible for Juansheng to leave this family, and he is not so confused. He was just scaring me. I offended him. I made an appointment to have lunch with him and then went to see Tang Jing. He was angry, so this trick must be like this. But then I didn't even believe it myself, because I didn't have lunch with him? I gradually realized that Juansheng had changed his mind. My good husband had already fallen into the arms of others, and everything was in the past. From then on, he no longer cared about my emotions.He couldn't see the distant tears. I look out the window, today is the same as yesterday, a sunny winter day.It's almost Christmas, but in the winter in the southern country, you can only add a sweater, which is ironic. Today I went out to eat, chat and shop happily, and when I got home, I was an abandoned woman. It was too fast, Juansheng didn't even give me a warning, even if he was dissatisfied with me, he should have told me so that I could reform. He actually left without leaving an address and phone number, so dramatic that he picked up the box and ran away. I'm not guilty of that, he can't do this to me. After the hesitation and panic, anger followed. I want to make it clear to him that I can't die with my eyes closed. I "huo" stood up. An'er ran to open the door, and it was Kang Jing who came. "What's the matter? An'er," Tang Jing comforted her, "Don't be afraid, once I arrive, all diseases will disappear, and your mother listens to me the most." "Tang Jing." I looked at her sadly. "Zijun, why are you so pale?" She asked in surprise, "Didn't you be fine just now?" "Tang Jing, Juansheng packed his bags and left. He decided to divorce me." "Sit down first," Tang Jing said calmly, "Speak slowly." She was not surprised at all when she heard the news. I stared at her, "It's the movie star Gu Lingling." Tang Jing nodded. "You already knew?" I asked desperately, "Does the whole world know?" Tang Jing said quietly: "Zijun, almost everyone really knows that Shi Juansheng and Gu Lingling knew each other a year ago, and they have been together for more than half a year. How come you are the only one kept in the dark?" I feel like I've fallen into an ice cellar. "Everyone just thinks you know it in your heart, deliberately endures it silently, and buys the most expensive clothes to vent. To be honest, Runsheng and I have talked about this issue more than once." "Why didn't you tell me? Hmm?" I twisted Tang Jing, "Why didn't you tell me?" Tang Pin pushed me into the chair, "With your personality, it's useless to know earlier, and you're also at a loss." I started to shed tears. "...I didn't do anything wrong." I said. Tang Jing sighed, and said honestly: "There must be mistakes. How many people in the world are willing to admit their mistakes? Naturally, it is wrong to pick others." Tang Jing said: "Two people are needed to dance tango, so it may not be all Shi Juansheng's fault." "You... Tang Jing, you didn't help—" "Of course I will help you, just to help you, so I want you to recognize the truth. Your life is very long. No one dies because of divorce. You have to plan for the future." I cried hysterically, "Divorce? Who said I want a divorce? No, no, I will never divorce." Ann looked at me with tears in her eyes. Tang Jing said: "An'er, go back to your room, I'm here." I cried: "You are all bullying me. I am thirty-three years old this year. Where do you tell me to go when I get divorced? I will not divorce no matter what." I fell on Tang Jing's shoulder and cried bitterly. Tang Jing kept silent and let me cry. After a long time, she said, "I'm afraid it's useless if you refuse to divorce." I wiped away my tears, it was already dark. I asked Tang Jing, "Juansheng is like this, never coming back? How will I live in the future? Just crying and waiting for dark?" It was terrible, day after day, I sat here in silence, hoping he would change his mind, it was terrible. This reminds me of many years ago, when I was a primary school student, I was detained for some reason. There were only me and the teacher in the huge classroom. As the sky gradually darkened, I lay down on the desk and copied a hundred times "I will no longer litter" Paper", wanted to cry but couldn't cry, was angry and anxious, and his throat seemed to be stuffed with sand and gravel. Since then, I have had a phobia of dusk, and I always hurried home after class or work. It was not until I got married and my child was born that I forgot everything. Now that feeling is back. Since I got married, I haven't tried sleeping alone, and Juansheng will take me with me when he goes to the United States for a three-day meeting. Tang Jing ordered the servants to make chicken noodle soup. I looked at the empty living room and began to admit that it was a fact. Juansheng left me. He was living a good and healthy life, but his heart had changed. At this moment, what Juansheng said before has vanished into thin air, and it cannot be counted. From now on, he will find another new life, and I, I must live on in this rubble. I swallowed the foam for a whole day. will i survive There is no life in life, how to fill this big gap? I'm just an ordinary woman, I'm no better than Tang Jing, in charge of more than 30 people under her command, her frown and smile are all important, and she can spend as much as she likes after receiving her monthly salary. I have relied on Juansheng for many years, and I can't stand up at all . Tang Jing called me, "Zijun, come over and have something to eat. Sister Ping, turn on all the lights. I hate black lights and blind lights the most." I sat down at the dinner table. Tang Jing patted my shoulder. "Zijun, you won't disappoint me. Your courage is back. Isn't it? In college, you were the most stubborn among us. You quarreled with the dean of the department because of the wrong score on the test paper, remember? Everything must be rational and calm." I also know that it is easy to say and difficult to do, but you are a college student, and your skills are just left behind. You are different from ordinary ignorant women and children, Zijun..." She suddenly choked up. I turned around and called An'er, "An'er, come over for dinner." An'er glanced at me, picked up the chopsticks, moved them twice, and put down the chopsticks again. "Call Ping'er to come back." I said, "Tomorrow he has to go to school, and when he arrives at grandma's house, he plays like crazy, and I don't know if he has done his homework." Ann replied: "Yes." My heart was numb, my face was numb, and I ate the noodles with my head down. Tang Jing coughed, "Do you want me to sleep here today?" I whispered: "No, you can't stay with me for a hundred nights. I need your help in many places, but not tonight." "Okay." She nodded, "Okay." An'er came back and said, "Mom, the driver is now picking up Ping'er." I said to Ann: "Your father is gone." "I know." She said dismissively. "Promise mom, no matter what happens, you will still go to school obediently, do you understand?" I said. Ann nodded, "What about you," she asked me, "Mom, will you be a good mother?" I froze for a moment, then slowly brushed my hair with my hand, "I will." Ann smiled. Tang Jing said: "An'er, good boy, do your homework and rest, it's none of your business here." "Are we—are we still living here?" Ann asked hesitantly. "Yes," Tang Jing said on my behalf, "everything is as usual, but Dad won't come back every day, he may come back two or three times a week." Ann looked at me again and went back to her room. I said to Tang Jing: "Tomorrow I will find Juansheng to discuss the details." I sat down tiredly, "Go back, Tang Jing, thank you." Tang Pin hesitated to speak. I wait for her to open the door. Tang Jing finally said: "Zijun, you are obviously a woman with general knowledge and wisdom, why do you always act like an ignorant little woman in front of Juansheng, especially in recent years?" I looked at her, not knowing where to start. After a while I said: "Tang Jing, I told you that being a wife is not easy, you still don't believe it, we are in front of the boss, why don't we just let him make rounds, my husband wants me to be stupid, so I have to be stupid. " 唐晶摇摇头，表示不明白，她取起手袋想走，又不放心，她看着我。 “你怕我做傻事，会自杀？”我问。 她叹一口气，“我明天来看你。” 我说：“好的。” 阿萍送走了她。 我一个人坐在客厅中，过了很久，才去淋浴，在莲蓬头下，脖子像僵了似的，不易转动。 我有我的责任，我不能因此崩溃下来，我还有平安两儿，他们仍然需要我。 水笼头开得太热了，浑身皮肤淋得粉红色，我却有种额外洁净的感觉，换上睡衣，平儿被司机接了回家。 我不动声色，叫美姬替他整理书包及服侍他睡觉。 平儿临睡之前总要与我说话。 “妈妈，让我们温存一会儿。”他会说。 胖胖的脑袋藏在我身上起码三十分钟，睁着圆圆的眼睛告诉我，今天学校里发生了什么大事，谁的校服不干净，谁的笔记忘了带。 今天我对平儿心不在焉。我在检讨自己。 安儿说得对，我是偏心，对平儿，我真的整颗心交了给他。这孩子对我一笑，我浑身就溶解下来。我不是不爱女儿，却一是一，二是二。 这一切在安儿眼中，是很不公平的吧？以前我就是没想到过。 平儿的出生对我来说太重要，我对母亲说：“若他不是个男孩，真不知要生到几时去。”因此他成了我的命根。 涓生是个独子。 但是平儿并没有为我们的婚姻带来太久的幸福。 我看到平儿入睡，才拖着劳累的身子入房。 The phone rang. 我取起话筒。 是涓生。 他似乎有点哽咽，“孩子们睡了吗？”他还有点良知。 我答：“睡了。” “子君，我对不起你。”他说，“但是我不能放弃爱情，子君，我以前爱过你，现在我爱上了别人，我不得不离你而去，求你原谅我。” 不知怎地，我听了涓生这种话，只觉啼笑皆非，这是什么话？这是九流文艺言情小说中男主角的对白，这种浅薄肉麻的话他是怎么说得出口的，史涓生，你是堂堂一个西医，史涓生，你疯了。 我只觉得我并不认识这个滑稽荒谬的男人，所以竟没有表现得失态来。 我静静问：“你恋爱了，所以要全心全意地抛妻离子地去追求个人的享乐，婚姻对你只是一种束缚，可是这样？” 他在那边沉默了很久，然后说：“子君，我实在迫不得已，子君，她叫我离婚——” 我长长叹息一声。 “你就这样一走了之？还有很多事要解决的呢。”我说，“孩子们呢？两人名下的财产呢？你就这样不回来了？” “我们，我们明天在嘉丽咖啡厅见面。” 我喝一声：“谁跟你扮演电影剧情。明天中午我在家等你，你爱来不来的，你要演戏，别找我做配角。”我摔下话筒。 我发觉自己气得瑟瑟发抖。 涓生一向体弱，拿不定主意，买层公寓都被经纪欺侮，一向由我撑腰，日子久了，我活脱脱便是个凶婆子，他是老好人。 好了，现在他另外找到为他出头的人了，不需要我了。 我坐在床边，对着床头灯，作不了声，偌大一张床，怎么题呢？ 我根本没有独个儿睡过一张床，儿时与母亲挤着睡，子群出生便与子群睡，嫁到史家名正言顺与丈夫睡。开始时涓生有鼻鼾，我失眠，现在听不到他那种有节奏的呼噜呼噜，我反而睡不着。 天下的弃妇不止我一个人，她们都是孤枕独眠，还有似唐晶般的单身女子，她也不见得夜夜笙歌，到街上胡乱扯个男人回来伴眠，我绝望地想，我总得习惯下来。 我害怕，一只石英闹钟嗒嗒地响，我喉头干涸，无法成眠，家中一向没有安眠药，涓生从不赞成将药带回家来。 正在这时候，房门被轻轻推开。 我问：“谁？” “妈妈，是我，我睡不着。”是安儿。 我说：“过来跟妈妈睡。” “妈妈，”她钻进被窝，“妈妈，以后我们会怎么样？” 我听见自己坚定地说：“不怎么样，照以前一样的生活。快睡吧，明天还要上学。” 安儿似乎放心了。 我伸手熄了灯。