Chapter 3 third chapter

The car stopped, and Congshu knocked on the window.He was not angry, his face was very sad, I was very afraid to see such an expression, so I didn't turn my head, got out of the car and walked forward, he followed me.Two cars were parked on the side of the road. This kind of scene has been seen a lot in Mandarin films.It's a pity that if I was making a movie, I must be a miserable woman who was forced to sell myself.In reality, I am a voluntary Cambridge University student, and what happens in reality is often more dramatic than the story. I ask him why?" "Why? This is the question I want to ask." Cong Shu said.

"Why follow me?" I asked. "I'll see you first, you are my man. I have made an appointment with my father to speak to him tonight, and we will have a negotiation." "About what?" I asked dumbfounded. "You are mine." Congshu said stubbornly. I laughed, "Congshu, don't go too far, we've only known each other for a few days, and we've never held hands. Besides, I don't belong to anyone, I'm still my own." "He did it once, he's done it once, I won't forgive him again!" Congshu clenched his fists.

"What did he do?" I asked calmly. "My girlfriend, he likes to steal my girlfriend." The veins in Congshu's brain are all showing up, I dare not look at him. I calmly replied, "Maybe your father snatched your girlfriend before, but I'm not your girlfriend." "No? If he didn't buy you, can you guarantee that we won't be a couple?" For a moment, I realized that this made sense.Before I met Xu Cunzi, Congshu was just a prince charming, and it was too late for ordinary girls to grab him. At that time, I was excited to know him for a while.

"It's different now," I said, "I'm sorry, Congshu, but I'm not your ideal match." "What do you see in him? He's an old man." "He's your father," I said. "He's an old man." "I'm going back to the car, Congshu, I'm sorry." I said, "I'm sorry." He grabs me. "Apologizing is useless," he said. "What do you want me to do? Kneel and beg you?" "No no no." Cong Shu said, "Leave him." I can not. "I can't," I said. "You don't love him, why not?" Congshu asked.

"Congshu, you won't understand, I'm leaving." He followed me, with a pale and beautiful face, sweat on his forehead. "Can you drive?" I was really worried about him. He looked at me, completely bewildered. Can't hear my question. "I'll drive you there." I had no choice. I start his sports car.Into the second gear, the car has accelerated to 70 meters.He shouldn't be driving this dangerous car at all. In the car, Congshu said to me: "...I haven't fallen in love with a girl for a long time. I am very disappointed in girls...they are ugly inside. But you are different...you are as bright and upright as boys." He buried his head in his hands, "I'm in love with you."

"So soon?" I asked very sarcastically, "So soon there is love—?" "You don't believe me?" he asked. I hold the steering wheel steadily and powerfully. My personality is as strong as a rock. In the past 21 years, if I had easily believed anyone's words, I would not be alive today.I don't even trust my mother, let alone my father. If someone says he loves me, I will not be more happy unless his love can be discounted.If someone says he hates me, I won't worry, the sun will still rise tomorrow, damn it, the flowers will bloom as usual, people who hate me can eat their own hearts, who cares.

But when Congshu said he loved me, I was scared.He is a special boy, his weakness and my firmness are an extreme, I am afraid. I said, "Look, Congshu, I'm just a money-worshiping girl, a woman like me is as good as a dozen, really." "Pull the car on the side of the road." He said softly. I dare not not listen to him. He looked at me and put his hands on my shoulders, he was shaking, he said, "You can even drive so well! You should be my father's son, Xu Cunzi has always wanted someone who can study, drive, be a good man , a smart, agile, and intelligent son, but all he got was me... My father and I hate each other, but we can't do without each other, you can help me, I must get you." Congshu said trembling .

He put his hands on my face and groped, his palms were full of sweat, my face was sticky from his touch, and I felt unspeakably uncomfortable. I gently pushed his hand away, "Congshu, I'm not your weapon." "Please." He put his head on my chest and hugged my waist. He was nothing more than a frightened child.I can't frighten him, I want to calm him. I gently hugged his head, he has very soft black hair, I said slowly: "Do you know the story of 'Golden House Cangjiao'? A prince was only seven years old when he was a child, and his aunt hugged him He sat on his knees and asked him to watch the maids, and asked him one by one if he was okay, but none of them could answer. Finally, his aunt asked: "Where is my daughter Gillian? How is she?" Xiaohuang replied: "Okay, If I marry Gillian in the future, I will hide her in the golden house.' This is the origin of the golden house."

Congshu wept. "You shouldn't cry, big boys don't cry." I whispered. "I want you." His voice was muffled. "You can't have everything," I said, "You should understand that, Congshu." He was crying like a helpless baby and the front of my shirt was wet. I said again, "It's not your father who is fighting with you, but you are constantly trying to fight with your father, isn't it?" He just cries. "Let me take you home," I said. "We're almost there." "You will leave as soon as you get home, and I will never see you again."

"You can come to England to see me." I slammed the check. "In England we can go pole-boating." "No no, everything is a lie." He refused to let me go. "Congshu, your appearance makes me too embarrassed and difficult to do." I raised my head and sighed, and suddenly saw Xu Conghui standing in front of us.I was really startled and blushed.The Xu family has the ability to appear and disappear.I was ashamed to see Conghui, because she was so kind to me that she attracted wolves into the house and raised tigers. "Give him to me," Conghui said to me.

I push Congshu. "Wisdom has come." "Second brother, look at you, you will inevitably be scolded by your father when you go back." Congshu raised his head, and Conghui pulled him past her car, and she gave me an apologetic look, which made me feel even more uncomfortable. "intelligent--" "Let's talk slowly if we have something to say. I'll send my second brother home first." She took Congshu away. Congshu's car—— The driver's voice sounded from behind him, "Miss Jiang, I have ordered someone to drive away the young master's car." I hate Xu's family up and down, this kind of insight into all adultery. I got in the car without a word and said, "Go home." Today is a good day for my mother to go to Australia. I have to get in touch with her.After the call was made, my conversation with my mother was as follows: "Xibao, where have you been? We have an eight o'clock plane, and we are about to arrive at the airport—" Hamilton's voice continued, "—you are so bold, why don't you send us off? You haven't seen me yet!" "I don't need to see you." I was impatient, "Please call my mother back to answer the phone, I have something to say." Who has time to flirt with this foreign native. "Xibao—" "Listen, Mom, I'll be fine. Don't worry about me. You and Hamilton are happy. Don't worry about anything. Let's write." "Xibao—" she burst into tears. "It's really good, mother, I'm sitting in and out of Rolls-hey, please don't cry, please?" "But he's an old man—" "The old man is good. Every time I turn my head, he must be there, taking care of everything. I will even marry him. The inheritance is not a problem." "Xibao, the happiness of your life—" Mom said. "I know my life's happiness myself, that's all right, mother, you can go, goodbye, everything is in your heart." I put down the phone. I sat in front of the TV very peacefully.Forgiveness, wisdom, and rest, they are no longer important, and now I am in a prominent position.I breathed a sigh of relief that I was the one who got the most attention. At eight o'clock in the evening, I sat alone in the small living room and ate dinner. Three dishes were prepared carefully.I move a few chopsticks a little for each dish, and my appetite is not bad, but I must pay attention to my diet. At one time, I gained 128 pounds-strange, as soon as I felt safe, I would think of these trivial things. No matter how tough people look, they also long to be loved.The morning sun lightly shines on the lover's face...enough to be worth diamonds and gold...the urge to repay the favor... I lay on the sofa for a long time.I probably fell asleep, and I was still opening the letterbox in my dream. All the letters in the letterbox fell out, fell out, and all these letters turned into cash. I picked letters among the piles of cash, but I couldn’t find them after searching. Guiltily, with cold sweat on my hands, I felt very painful, I was still looking for the letter, and then someone grabbed my hand, and I woke up. It was Xu Cunzi who grabbed my hand, and my natural reaction was to hold his hand tightly. "What's wrong with you?" He said softly, "Sweat on your head, dreaming?" He brushed away the sticky hair on my forehead. I nod. "Can you tell me?" he asked softly. My eyes started to turn red and moist.Oh nod. "I've always wanted a lot of love. If I don't have love, a lot of money is good. If I don't have both, I still have health. I'm not poor." My tears never flowed. "You'll have everything in the future, don't worry," he said. "Thank you." Xu Cunzi stared at me. "Actually, I've always hoped to have a child like you. Don't worry, I won't force you. Do you know? It's very likely that I've fallen in love with you—" He hugged me gently. I buried my head in his chest, feeling a great deal of security come over me. I wrap my arms around his waist and he is warm and strong. "Have you met Congshu?" He asked in a low voice. "Yes, I have." "He...has always been a big rock in my heart. After Conghui gets married, no one will care about him anymore." "He's not a baby anymore," I said. "He still has his mother." "Exactly, because he is not a baby, no one forgives him." "Are you worried about him?" I asked, "Are you worried about me?" "Yes, I am worried about you. I am worried that you will be disobedient and that you will run away," he chuckled, "I am worried that you think I am old..." I also laugh. "Are you staying tonight?" I asked. "Congshu has something to tell me." He smiled. "But I'm going back to London at once," I said. "Are you sure you're not free for two days?" "We still have a lot of time," he said looking at me, "I won't let you go, don't worry." I suddenly blushed. "Joke, what do I worry about?" He looked at me and sighed. "You are a beautiful girl, yes, Xibao, too beautiful and too smart." I turn my head away.Is this also my fault?Too smart, too sensitive.Our girls who came out to fight alone, if they didn't "move their tails and heads" and knew how to distinguish hair and color, would be really at a disadvantage. He would take the risk of offending others to teach others, and if he taught others well, wouldn't his own daughter starve to death? Everything depends on yourself.But it’s different now. Now that I have Xu Cunzi, I feel refreshed just thinking about it. "I'm leaving." He said, "It's busy these days, you pack up by yourself, the driver will take you to the airport - Conghui and they start school, and I seldom drop them off in person, so you don't have to worry about it." "I'm overhearted?" I sneered, "I have traveled all over Europe with a big suitcase by myself, who cares about my life and death, and now I have really become a sweet potato, even I feel strange." When he was about to leave the house, he saw the medicine bottle on the coffee table and asked, "Sleeping pills?" I nod. "A driver will pick you up in London." Cun Zi said while putting on his coat. I helped him put his coat on behind him, and I asked, "Aren't you prohibiting me from taking medicine?" He glanced at me. "What's the use of verbal prohibition? When you feel that you can sleep soundly without taking medicine, of course you have to quit the medicine. I won't just talk about it for others." He smiled. "Thank you." I said. "When you feel safe and comfortable, the medicine bottle will fly out of the window. Just to persuade you, many people have probably done it and failed." He opened the door and left. Only a man like Xu Cunzi is considered a man, I sigh.Being able to be his son and daughter is a blessing, and being able to marry him as a wife is also a blessing. Even if I follow him like this, it is not necessarily a bad thing.The dirty feeling in my heart gradually disappeared, because I began to respect him, he was very important to me. How he negotiated with Congshu, I will never know, and in three days I was leaving for Singapore to transfer Harmony to London.I sent a letter to my mother.I no longer have a home in Hong Kong, and the arrangement of fate is airtight. I have not been reduced to Hong Kong. The driver took my luggage in.I met Song Jiaming in the Singapore departure lounge. I nod to him.Sit and read a magazine in a far away one. Song came over slowly and sat next to me.I glanced at him, which was beyond my expectation. What else could he say?If he wants to quarrel with me, he may not be able to please me. Song Jiaming, I said in my heart, let the horse come here. He asked, "Didn't you see wisdom in Hong Kong?" His voice was still kind. "No." I simply answered, without putting down the book in my hand. "In the past two days, Xu's family has turned their backs on their backs," he said. "Really?" I asked indifferently, what did the collapse of Xu's family have to do with me. "Congshu committed suicide." I startled.The first feeling was not surprise, but amused, I asked: "Men also commit suicide? Why?" "Miss Jiang, you can be said to have a heart of stone, and you deserve it." "Yes, I have never sympathized with the weak. If you want to commit suicide as a congregation, people of our class should have bought a hemp rope and hanged themselves long ago—why are you still struggling in this world?" Song Jiaming said, "Your words are not unreasonable - but you don't care about Congshu's life or death?" I said, "He can't die. How can he die?" "Foretelling things like a god, Miss Jiang." I said, "You know some women commit suicide—cry a lot, swallow two sleeping pills, cut a wrist with a razor—" I laughed, "I only thought there was a kind of woman who would do that" Song Jiaming stared at me, "You look down on Congshu?" "What's the use of looking down on him?" I said, "He is still Xu Cunzi's only son, and he will inherit the Xu family's billion-dollar fortune in the future." I stared at Song's face. "You know, Miss Jiang, I'm beginning to understand how Xu Cunzi chose you. You are truly unique." "Thanks, I'll take your words as a compliment." "Yes." He said, "This is indeed a compliment. In just two weeks, it is not easy to make Xu and his son fight for you." I said, "As far as I know, I'm not the first woman to be so successful." "You know a lot," he mocked. "Know yourself and your enemy, and you will win every battle." I just smile. "Conghui naturally regrets bringing you home," he said. "Tell Conghui to relax, everything is preordained." I feel ashamed of Conghui.Because she was kind to me, from the beginning to the end, she didn't say a bone-chilling or embarrassing thing to me, she didn't mock me, she didn't look down on me, from the beginning to the end, she treated me well. "Doomed?" Song Jiaming asked. "Yes." I said, "Such a big change in life, isn't it predestined? Have you ever heard the saying: death first, birth later, and marriage three hundred years ago." I became gentle , "I am destined to meet Conghui, and I am destined to appear in Xu's house." There is a master in the dark. "This is the most satisfactory explanation." Song Jiaming said. "Aren't you going to London?" I asked. "Yes, I have something to do—Mr. Dai Xu is going to sign a contract." "I'm afraid I don't have to deal with London's affairs in the future. You are here." He suddenly became familiar with me. "I'm not really interested in these things," I confessed. "I miss good books, and now Mr. Xu will support my living expenses." "I'm sorry for saying that, Ms. Jiang, I really mean it, but of course you know that Xu Cunzi is an old man, and you are still so young and beautiful. You have a lot of opportunities, and you are an intellectual." There was bewilderment in his voice, but there was certainly no sarcasm in it. "I don't know how to explain it either," I said. "He was the right man in the right place at the right time, that's all." "Do you not mind what people say about you?" Song Jiaming asked. I smiled. "Tell you honestly, Mr. Song, what do people say, IDONTCAREAFUCKINGSHIT!" He is silent.Suddenly he laughed too. He wiped his nose with one hand, put the other on my shoulder, and smiled with his head down. "Miss Jiang, you are really interesting." He said. "Thank you." "Welcome to be part of the Xu family," he said. "You admit me?" I asked. "Who am I? Who am I? Didn't Mr. Xu Cunzi already recognize you?" "But you, Mr. Song, if you look down on me, wouldn't my life be slightly flawed?" "I thought you were an ambitious girl at first..." Song said, "but it doesn't look like it now—I don't understand, Miss Jiang, what do you want?" "Love." I said, "if there is no love, money is good. If there is no money, at least I still have health. That's all. What do you want all of Xu’s family property for? Throw bundles of dollar bills downstairs every day? I just need enough living expenses—a lot of coal to keep me warm, a lot of chocolate for me to chew—you’ve heard this song ?"I asked. Song Jiaming looked at me for a long time, and I knew he had forgiven me. "On the plane." I said. I feel very happy. Winning Song Jiaming over may not be such an easy task. I just hope that he will cancel his hostility towards me.Will he understand?people like me. He asked, "Are you really at Trinity College?" I smiled, "If I'm not from Holy Trinity, tell this plane to fall down immediately! Tell me to die immediately." "What a poisonous curse!" Song shook his head and laughed, "Besides me, there are hundreds of passengers who fell with you." "Why do you doubt? Xu Cunzi has no doubts." I said. "Xu Cunzi sent someone to investigate you the second day he met you. What doubts does he have? From now on, he knows that you probably have more history than yourself." "Is he such a careful person?" I looked up. "Miss Jiang, I'm worried for you. He's not that kind of foolish old man. The youth and freedom you betrayed will make you regret it." "I think he's a good guy," I said. "Because he likes you now." "I only see the present." "Miss Jiang, Xu Cunzi is an extremely capable person, and a king is like a tiger." "Thank you for your advice, we beggars have no choice at all. Thank you." "Good luck." He said it sincerely. I nod. We are not sitting next to each other on the plane, the distance is very far.Song Jiaming didn't come to talk to me on the plane, and I didn't see him when I got off the plane.I saw a black "Damura".The license plate is CCY65. It was cool and comfortable, and I took a breath of air. The British driver came up to him, "Miss Jiang?" I nod. A middle-aged foreign lady reached out, "I'm Mrs. Simpson, your housekeeper." "My—the housekeeper?" I said, "well, from now on, I am the master, and you will obey me!" She was shocked. She didn't expect my attitude to be so tough. I think it is inevitable that I will step down this time. If I listen to her everything today, I will be her slave in the future.Why should I listen to an English half-grandmother?Xu Cunzi made it clear to me personally. "What are you waiting for?" I asked bluntly. So we got in the car and went to the hotel to rent a room. I think this choice is wise, because Song Jiaming must live in his house in Liqin Park, and he doesn't want to see me there. I spent three days shopping, visiting old friends and watching plays, and Mrs. Simpson shared a suite with me.Where I go every day, I tell her clearly one by one.I also didn't want her life to be difficult, and by the sixth day we were talking and laughing. Like all the middle and lower class people in England, she is very greedy for small things. The small gifts I gave her casually, such as perfume and brooches, were genuine and valuable things, and she was very grateful.During these six or seven days, I affirmed the fact that "you are a servant".But any foreigner, if you don’t ride on his head, he will ride up, and it’s not just foreigners, as long as they are human beings. Ten days later, Mrs. Simpson asked me: "Miss Jiang, how long are we still living in London?" The tone this time was tentative. "I don't know," I said, "I'm very happy in London." "Or we should go back to Cambridge and you should see the beautiful house." "There's no escape from that house," I said, "don't worry." Xu Cunzi must have contacted her many times.Did he fly into a rage?The woman he bought didn't obey him. But I was too naive.Xu wasn't angry at all, at least he didn't pretend to be angry, and there was no trace of it.I should know.He is like that kind of overly rich woman, who has a closet full of fur coats. Even if a newly sewn silver fox is brought back from the store and hung up, she will forget about it and will not open the closet every day. Go touch it——I really underestimated Xu Cunzi.How many women he has seen and owned!How could he care that I was outwitting him. Thinking of this, it's boring.Since I've been in London so long, he's not showing any signs of it.What does this mean?It means not to be surprised by the strange, and the strange will defeat itself.I decided to stop this game and go back to Cambridge obediently. I originally wanted Xu Cunzi to quarrel with me to show the importance of my existence.He didn't give me a chance to do that and forced me to take the ladder down myself.he is great.Now I know that he is not an ordinary old man who comes out to play.He is Xu Cunzi. So I said to Mrs. Simpson, "Let's go back to Cambridge." We drove out from London by car.The road is long.I didn't speak a word all the way.Mrs. Simpson was in another car, and I didn't like being in the car with her, so I asked the driver to find another car for her.Two hours away, why should I sit with her?Yes, she has an insulted look on her face, she can not be my housekeeper, she doesn't have a lot of people waiting to do it.Life is alive, who is not angry with whom.Ever since I bought it for Xu Cunzi, I've never been angry. He doesn't even touch me, which is enough to make me hate him for the rest of my life. My whole life... my whole life.I sigh... How much of my life is left?It's an unknown quantity, and I can't help but shiver when I think about it, will I be with Zu Xu for the rest of my life?Do I still want the word "Jiang Xibao" to appear in his will? no no.When I finished these six years of homework, I must leave him. I told myself: "Six years, I will give him six years. Six years is not a short day, how many six years does a woman have." One.However, if we don't make good use of these six years, it will pass. After graduation, I can get a lawyer's license, I can stay in the UK, or I can create another world. (The road from London to Cambridge is famously beautiful, with villages and fields on both sides, and impeccable red brick villas-the rich people are going to start hunting foxes again. It’s almost late autumn.) My father snorted when he learned that I was going to study law.He said: "Seven years of study? So what if you finish it? Do you have the money to open your own law firm? No money, and you will stay in the company for the rest of your life after you finish it! If any ordinary citizen wants to get a divorce and sell a building, you will mess with them." .Tell you, don’t think that you are fooling around because you don’t work hard. Everyone has a fate. They are destined to be a small person. You only know when your brows are blue and your nose is swollen!" I do not believe.I don't believe that Jiang Xibao will end up sitting in front of a typewriter in an office building in Central, I always take a gamble on it. I don't believe in incubating in Cambridge for seven years without getting to know an ideal object. How was my first year?Rely on Korea Thailand. Han's father owns a restaurant on Chiller Street in London.After the number of visits increased, cash payments gradually turned into bills, and these bills were finally paid by Han Tai in advance.He is very good to me, but his ability is limited. It is not too difficult for a young woman to aspire to climb the ladder, and the aspiration should be established early. I am sitting in LIMOUSINE. LIMO is defined as a car in which the driver's seat and the guest's seat are separated by glass.I like this feeling. I had a lot of unpleasant experiences before, which can be counted as the past for the time being. It was evening when the car arrived in Cambridge. The impeccable beauty of that one-story house is so often advertised in Harper's Market magazine.A small "Jason Hilly" was parked in the garage.Simpson said: "Mr. Xu said you wear size nine. I chose these clothes for you. I hope my taste can still please you." I looked at the densely packed clothes in the closet, but didn't move them. I want to learn from Xu Cunzi and his indifference.So I laughed and said, "Thank you, actually, I only need two sweaters and two pairs of jeans, which is enough for a semester." I'm going to start being nice to Simpson.Only the nouveau riche are too late to be mean to servants, and I want to respect her as a guest. I opened the drawer of the study desk, and there was a neat straight version of the pound in the third drawer.my tuition.I will buy all the reference books on the list.I will not be in the public library, ever. I let out a sigh of relief. I go to the bedroom.The bedroom is blue and white, the equipment is simple and practical, and I collapsed on the bed.The central heating must have been seventy-two, and the leaves were already falling outside the window. I pulled the maid's velvet belt, and she came in to report a minute later: "Yes." "Do we have 'Pat Marsanne' cheese, 'Professer' white wine, unsalted butter, French wheat bread?" With no expression on her face, she said, "Miss, I will deliver it in fifteen minutes." She backed out. I feel too happy, I'm just a cheap young woman, and money can give me happiness anytime. Simpson knocked on the door and said outside, "Miss Jiang, you have guests." "Who?" I didn't call her into the room, "Who is that?" "I'm sorry, Miss Jiang, I can't stop her. It's Miss Xu Conghui." I sit up from the bed. Xu Conghui. "Ask her to come up." Simpson coughed outside, "Miss Xu said to ask Miss Jiang to go down." I think about it.Smart, she told me to go down.What a smart one. "Okay, I'll come down right away." I washed my face, took off my boots, put on my slippers, and ran downstairs. Conghui was waiting for me in the study, and she turned her head when she heard my footsteps. I put my hands in my trouser pockets and looked at her, and she looked at me. She turned away from me again and looked out the window. "Have you ever seen the roses in the back garden? Of all my father's villas, this garden is the most beautiful." She said sullenly. "Oh," I said, "really? I didn't notice." "I'm not kidding. I've been to many of his homes. But I didn't expect you to be among the various women." I smile.At this time, the maid brought out the food I asked for just now, the white wine was served in a crystal cup, and the wheat bag was placed in a silver basin. Conghui saw it and said, "Allow me to have a big meal too." She said to the maid, "Bring some peaches or strawberries." The maid withdrew, my hands still in my trouser pockets. Conghui said: "You know some female stars and singers? They disappeared for three or two years as soon as they traveled abroad. Later, I would find out: Hey, my father's mistress looks very familiar—isn't it the women who study abroad? Hahaha. " I look smart.I'm not angry at all. She drank white wine and ate cheese, and continued: "I shouldn't be in second class on the plane back home, but I think being a student should be so simple and so simple-I regret it very much, If I sit first, you'll never see me, and this will never happen." I look at the window.In the distance against the gray-blue sky is the bell tower of Holy Trinity Church.There was a time when I felt ashamed of Smart because she was the only one who wasn't mean to me.Everything is different.My shame has been compensated now, and I smile with peace of mind. I didn't expect Confucianism to be a saint.never. After a while, I asked, "Have you finished?" Conghui put down the bottle, looked at me, and replied, "I'm done." After a long time, I asked, "When do you think it will snow this year? Are you going to go skiing?" Again there was silence. "I made an appointment with Song Jiaming in Munich." She said. "Switzerland is a good place to ski, but you must go with your lover; places like Bermuda or Switzerland, you must go with your lover." I paused, "I have everything now, but I have no lover." Conghui asked, "When will my father come?" "I don't know. I haven't seen him since I came to England." "When does school start?" Cong Hui asked. "Every two weeks." I asked, "What about you?" "Me? I was fired and failed the exam." Conghui replied. "You can make up the exam." I said, "They will show you the test papers during the make-up exam." "I was in Hong Kong when it was time to make up the exam," she said. I am silent.She has no need to work hard.Everyone has different interests. "Can I see the ring on your finger?" she asked. "Of course." I took it off and handed it over. Conghui looked at the ring over and over for a while. "It's huge." "Yes." I put it back in my hand. A long, long time ago, I wished to have a ring like this. A long, long time ago, people didn't even give rings with sesame and mung beans.Naturally, I didn't beg hard.When the opportunity does not come, you can only wait, jumping is useless.Such a square stone, I think: many women dream of it. I laughed: "You know the poem that Ophelia sang before she died? 'How do I recognize my true love—?' Whoever gives you the biggest diamond will love you the most." Conghui asked, "You really think that?" "Really." I really thought so. "You think my father loves you?" Conghui asked. "I don't know," I said. "Out of all the girls, at least he chose me." "By analogy, this is not the biggest diamond yet," Conghui said mockingly, "because I think you are just his plaything, and someone who really loves you will buy a bigger diamond to meet you in the future." I look at my watch. "Smart, I've given you enough time." "Of course, this is your home, oh, how could I forget that?" She stood up. "You know what? I guessed you would say that," I said. "Exactly. I knew you would say that." "You're a whore!" Conghui said.She finally couldn't bear it anymore. "Of course, because your father is a client. Goodbye!" I went upstairs by myself. Conghui broke the wine glass on the coffee table.Why should I worry, her father will naturally pay for it and buy a new one.I watched her drive away from the upstairs window. People from the Xu family can take turns coming here to humiliate me, so I don't mind.Starting from Mrs. Xu, Xu Congqi, Xu Congshu, Xu Conghui, Fang Jiakai, Song Jiaming... They can all come.Why should I mind?The more they panic about my existence, the stronger my position becomes.If I don't understand this simple logic, am I still studying BAN at Cambridge? Of course they caused me unhappiness in life, who doesn't have unhappiness in life.My mother, Ms. Jiang, earns more than 2,000 yuan in Hong Kong from an airline company, and she has more unhappiness in life than I do. I am not Xu Conghui, I am extremely different from her tolerance for the details of life. Sometimes I go for a walk in the nearby park and practice tennis for an hour on a wall in the back garden.I have no intention of letting Hantai know that I have returned to Cambridge.Everything about me has nothing to do with him, and we end here. A few days later, I received a letter from Song Jiaming, apologizing for Conghui's behavior that day.Everyone knows I'm at this address.I am no secret at all.very good. The 180-degree change in wisdom and attitude made me feel at ease.When school started, I took wads of cash to pay tuition. It's just that I haven't seen Xu Cunzi until now. He seemed to have completely forgotten about me. I feel lonely.Kicking stones while walking means I am lonely. I don't actually have any friends, because I don't believe in having friends.If I'm just friends with Mr. Han Tae, he won't automatically pay the bill for me.What do friends do if they can't help me in real life?You're not trying to tell me that if a "friend" comforts me with words for ten hours, my problem will be solved? Friends can only occasionally take me to a show or have a meal when they are in a good mood. What’s the point of that? I’m not an eight-year-old child—a teddy bear and a cup of ice cream can make me jump, no no , I am used to being lonely. Come back from school to do homework, memorize books, in a quiet room, only hear the "rustling" sound of the maid's neatly ironed uniform when she comes in and out. The big velvet sofa is where I occupy myself, the fire is blazing, and I look up from case to case, which is very warm, but I have never met Xu Cunzi, and he hasn't come yet. I suddenly felt ridiculous, as if I was one of the three thousand beauties in the harem, waiting for the emperor's blessing.见他妈勖家的大头鬼，当聪慧的态度来个这么大转变的时候，我就已经什么也不欠他们了。总不见得我还要写情书给老头子：我想你，你为什么不来看我……。 我一辈子没有写过情信。 所以我没有主动要求见勖存姿。 我不提，辛普森也不提，仿佛世界上根本没勖存姿存在似的，有时午夜梦回，连我自己都疑幻疑真。 但是我见到韩国泰，他找到圣三一堂来。我在饭堂喝咖啡，他一屁股坐在对面：“小宝！”我抬起头来，他的面色非常难看。 "What's the matter?" I asked.我的好处是冷静。 “你什么时候回来的？”他老实不客气地问。 “什么时候回来？我看不出与你有什么关系。” 他瞪大眼，“这是什么意思？” “我们完了。”我说。 他大力按住我的手。“不，姜小姐，我们没有完。” 我摔开他的手掌。“我们已经完了。” “你不能对我这样！”他嚷。 全食堂的人转过头来看我们。 我知道这是没有办法的事，韩国泰那种唐人街餐馆气息身不由己地露出来。 我看着他，我为他难为情。我把我的书抱在怀中，走出食堂，他蹬蹬蹬跟在我身后。我走到园子的石凳上坐下，对他说：“有话请讲，有屁请放。” “以前你对我可不是这样子的。”他冷笑，“以前——” 我说：“此一时也，彼一时也。”我可以忍受勖存姿的折辱，但不是这个人，现在我与这个人没有关系。 “很好！”他气炸了肺，“你另找到人替你交学费了？则忘记是我把你从那种野鸡秘书学校里拉出来的！别忘记你初到英国时身边只有三百镑！别忘记你只住在老太太出租的尾房！别忘记你连大衣都没有一件！可别忘记——” 我接下去：“——我连搭公路车都不懂。我买不起白脱只吃玛其琳。我半年没有看过一场电影。我写信只用邮简。如果没有你，半年的秘书课程我也没有资格念下去，我只好到洋人家去做往年妹来缴学费。如果没有你，我进不了剑桥，我穿不上这身黑袍。如果没有你，我早就滚回香港，做着写字楼工作，'老板长，老板短'，天天朝九晚五。如果没有你，姜喜宝就没有今天。对，你完全说得对。” 他对我瞠目而视，我把头转向河边。 剑桥的哭泣杨柳尚在飘拂，并没有发觉天气已经很凉了，细雨微微下在河中，点点涟漪在水中微扬。我抬起头来：“韩国泰，你完全说得对。你不知道我的忧虑有多重，这些年来我忍受过什么。你有什么好气的？不错你做了我的踏脚石，但是你损失过什么？你难道没有得到你需要的一切？” 他呆呆地看着我。 “我要离开你了，我不再需要你。” 我站起来。 他拉住我。“难道我们没有感情？” “那是一件很奢侈的事，像我这样的蚁民，我不大去想它。” “小宝——但是你说过你爱我。” “我说过吗，你记错了。” “至少你说过你喜欢我。”他恳求，“小宝，想想清楚。” “或许，在那个环境，在那个时候——而且你不是真的相信吧，你不是真相信我会爱上你吧？”我说。 His face was pale. “小宝，你做戏做得太好。” “那么下次别相信。”我笑一笑，“下次别相信女人。” “我是爱你的。”他说。 我看着他一会儿，“我不认为如此，国泰，你自己恐怕也有点弄糊涂了，你并不爱我，你从来也未曾爱过我，这是事实。” 他看着我长久长久，然后别转身子走开。 我看着脚下的草地，青绿得可爱。在这种地方应该有人陪着散步至永恒，才不枉一生。 我开着赞臣希利回家。 再过一个月就开始下雪了。今年的雪有鹅毛般大。我呆着脸在教室往窗外看。读书就是这样好，无论心不在焉，板着长脸，只要考试及格，就是一个及格的人。 你试着拉长脸到社会去试一试。 这是一个卖笑的社会。除非能够找到高贵的职业，而高贵的职业需要高贵的学历支持，高贵的学历需要金钱，始终兜回来。 一个案件跟着另外一个案件。我背得滚瓜烂熟。中国人适合念法律，我们自幼太熟习背诵课本，并不求解释。法律文法自成一家，不背熟还真不成功。 但是这雪，多年没下这么大的雪了。圣诞假期快要来临，剑桥并不时常下雪，今年真是例外。 我的寂寞在心中又深印一层。我忍耐孤寂的本事是一流的。日出日落，年始年终，从来没有两样。 我到底有没有恋爱过呢？ 那时候我与韩国泰去看电影。坐在小电影院里看喜剧片，笑到眼泪都流出来，一场放完休息的当儿有女郎捧着盘子来卖冰淇淋。韩国泰老是买一杯奶油覆盆子给我，我吃得津律有味，忽然感动了，只觉得幸福，我问韩国泰：“我们结婚好不好？” 韩国泰微笑。 然后电影散场，走出戏院，被冷风一吹，我便完全忘记这件事。谁说我恋爱过？我不认为我有。 但是我留恋那一刻的温馨，所以我说韩国泰早已得到他要的一切，他还有什么好抱怨的？ 终于下课了，我脱下黑色短袍，放进更衣室的小铁柜。披上大衣，出门。 男同学对我吹口哨，大声嚷：“喂，保护野生动物，勿穿皮裘！” 我转头笑一笑。 我走到停车场。赞臣希利旁边停着一辆黑色宾利。 我的心一跳。 一个男人打开车门下车，黑色的凯丝米大衣。黑色“宝勒”帽子。 勖存姿。 我不由自主地呆住，百感交集。 四个月了。我终于见到他，他来看我了。 我哽咽，镇静自己，然后开口：“勖先生。” “小宝。”他微笑。 很奇怪，我自动走过去双手绕着抱住他的腰。头靠紧他的胸。他的衣服穿得很厚，我听不到他心跳动，但是那种无限的安全感流入我胸腔。 他轻拍我的肩膀：“小宝。” 我放开他，端详他的脸，他气色非常好。 “功课如何？” “很好。”我答。 “我知道你是个好学生，我只希望聪慧与聪恕可以像你。”他夸奖我。 我微笑，我问：“坐我的车，嗯？好不好？” 存姿凝视我。“叫我如何敌得过你这种恳求？”他坐进我的赞臣希利。 勖存姿真是一个男人，他并没有问：那间屋子还好吗？这部车子还好吗？辛普森太太尚可以吗？No. 他不是这种小家气的人。他只是问：“你的功课可好？” 我从心里倾佩他。 我把车子开得很当心，缓缓经过雪路。 勖在我身边幽默地说：“有老同车，特别当心。” I smile. “别来这一套，你不见有那么老。今天你总要在我家吃饭。我们喝“香白丹”，我存着一瓶已经多月。你如果告诉我没有空，我就把这辆车驶下康河，同归于尽。” 勖长长吹声口哨：“这真是我飞来艳福。” 我又再微笑。他真懂得给我面子。我这个人是他包下来的，然而他说得好像他尚欠我人情。 我看他一眼。笑笑。 “你的头发长了。”他说。 “是的。每星期我到维代沙宣去打理头发。要开车落伦敦呢，剑桥简直是乡下地方。” “但大学是好大学。” “世界上最好的。”我笑答。 我们像久未见面的老朋友，自在舒适，我也觉得奇怪，我们当中仿佛一点儿隔膜都没有，我可以推心置腹地把一切细节都告诉他。 他说：“小宝，想想看——世界上最好的，你应该骄傲，至少你将会拥有世界上最佳学府的文凭。” “你太褒奖我，勖先生。”我笑说。 我一直叫他勖先生，我喜欢这样叫他：勖先生。 “看到你很高兴，小宝。” “我也一样。”忽然我说，“我等了你很久，你很忙是不是？忙你的事业，忙你的家庭。” “不，我并不是很忙。”勖存姿说。 我转头看着他。家到了，我停好车子。 “你的车子开得很好。” 我笑一笑。“我在你眼中，仿佛有点十全十美的样子呢。” 我们进屋子去。 辛普森显然早已得到消息，立刻捧上白兰地，我喝一杯热茶，坐在图书室陪勖存姿。 我说：“你一定要听我这张唱片，我找很久也找不到，是这次回香港买了下来的。” 我非常兴奋，摇撼着他的手臂，他微笑地看着我。 “你听不听地方戏曲？”我问他，“你喜欢吗？” “你听的是什么？昆曲、京戏、弹词、大鼓？”他含笑问，“粤剧？潮剧？” “不，”我笑，“猜漏一样。绍兴戏。听听看。” 他又笑。喝一口白兰地，很满足的样子靠在丝绒沙发里，手臂摊得宽宽的。 我们两个人都在笑，而且笑得如此真实。大概是有值得开心的地方吧。以前有一首葛兰唱的时代曲，一开头便这样：“你看我我看你，你看我我又几时怎么高兴过……你也不要问我，我也不会我也不能我也不想老实对你说……”我其实也没有什么时候是真正高兴过。No. 我小心放下唱片，当它是名贵的古董。 我解释给勖存姿听：“这是'梁祝'……梁山伯与祝英台。”我怕他不懂这些。 他脸上充满笑意，点点头。我觉得他笑容里还有很多其他的含义。this person.我微微白他一眼，这人就是够深沉。 我们静静坐在那里听祝英台迟疑地诉说：“自从小妹别你回来——爹爹作主，已将小妹，许配马家了——” 我的眼睛充满泪水。梁祝的故事永远如此动我心弦。他们真是求仁得仁的一对。 勖存姿说：“来，来，别伤心，我说些好玩的事你知。” "What's the matter?" I asked. “我小的时候反串过小旦，演过苏三。”勖存姿说。 我瞪大眼。 "No!" “真的。”他笑，“脖子上套一个木枷，出场的时候碎步走一圈，然后拖长声音叫声'苦——'你看过'玉堂春'没有？” 我当时抹干眼泪，笑道：“这不是真的，我以为你是洋派人，大生意大商家，你怎么去扮女人？” “那时我只有十四岁。好玩，家里票友多得很。” “哗，那是多年前的事了。” 他点点头，然后说：“多年前的事。” 瞧我这张嘴，又触动他心事。他怕老，我就非得提醒他老不可。他不愉快我有什么好处？我现在吃的是他的饭，住的是他的屋子，穿的是他的衣服。我一定要令他愉快，这是我的职责。 勖存姿不动声色地说下去：“我还有张带黄着色照片，你有没有兴趣看？下次带来。”然后他站起来。 我知道事情不妙，心沉下去。果然他说：“今天有点儿事，伦敦等我开会，我先走一步。” 天晓得我只不过说错一句话，我只说错了一句话。 他真是难以侍候。 我看着他，他并没有看我。辛普森太太被他唤来，替他穿上大衣。他自己戴上帽子与手套，这才转过头来对我平静地说：“下次再来看你。” I nod. 他向大门走去，辛普森替他开门。