Chapter 7 Part 2 Roses in Bloom (3)

At dawn, I finally raised my head in despair.Mrs. Huang is right, I'd better live here at the moment. Later... Later I may be able to go back to Canada, I have a passport there, far away from Hong Kong, out of sight. I wash my face and sit in the kitchen without moving. Huang Zhenhua got up, "Jia Min, what's wrong with you? Your butt is stuck here?" He looked around the kitchen door. I said to Mrs. Huang, "I want to see someone, and you need to help me." Mrs. Huang stared at me, "I know, I have already called her." "When?" I was surprised.

"It's here now." Ah, Mrs. Huang really touched me. Before she could finish her sentence, the doorbell rang. The maid went to open the door while buttoning it, and Mimi stood outside. I take a step forward. Mimi is a little haggard, her eyes are slightly red and swollen, but her face looks more delicate because she is thinner. I'm sad because she loves me so much, she doesn't put on airs when she has a chance, and loves me without reservation.I held her in my arms, buried my face in her hair, smelled the perfume I used to be familiar with, and choked up and said, "Mimi, I beg you to forgive me and marry me."

Mimi cried, she said: "Alright, Jia Min, I promise you." I couldn't help her magnanimity, and I was so ashamed that I said, "Mimi, you won't be ashamed of me, I'll make a good husband." "There's no need to explain," said Mrs. Huang, wrapping her arms around both of us. I said, "I've got to find a house to live in, and furnishing, furnishing, and we're going on our honeymoon—" "The most important thing is to buy a wedding ring." Huang Zhenhua said. Mimi didn't say anything, just hugged my waist and rested her head on my chest.

I said, "Mrs. Huang, please inform my elder brother that I am engaged." "I'll give you a week off," Huang Zhenhua said, "Rehabilitation, what are you still doing standing up, hurry up and drive me to work." The couple walked away lovingly. I faced Mimi, not knowing what to say. The weather has turned cooler, quite autumnal.I suddenly missed the place where I lived in poverty for ten years. I held Mimi's hand and said, "Let's go to Quebec for our honeymoon. It snows a lot there. We'll wear thick clothes. We'll go to the park and skate on the lake. We'll have a great time. When summer comes again, We can rent a big house with gardens in the front and back, and we will have many children, because children have the right to live, you are the housekeeper, and I make money. Mimi, we are not coming back, do you agree?"

"it is good." "We'll get married here and go," I said. "it is good." "Let's not drive a Morgan coupe, let's get an actual station wagon, shall we?" "it is good." "We will be very happy." But I have no sense of happiness in my heart, I am already a dead person, happiness has nothing to do with me, only boundless desolation remains. I talked to Mimi Xuxu for the whole morning, and I told her about the smallest things during the study abroad period. In fact, we have known each other for a long time. She should have heard and remembered all these things, but I hope she knows it again.

With the help of Mimi's family and Mrs. Huang, everything went quickly, the date was fixed, the banquet was ordered, and the clothes were arranged. My performance was no worse than that of an ordinary groom. Mimi didn't say a word about my sudden decision to marry her, and didn't ask a single word. Marrying a wife and virtue, what more can a husband ask for. My elder brother asked me: "You got married in a hurry." I was packing my winter clothes at home and going to Quebec. Hearing what he said, I quickly put on a smile. "There, I'm with Mimi. It's been a long time, as you know."

"But—what about roses?" The eldest brother asked meaningfully. My heart was stabbed with a sharp knife, "How about Rose? She was married and had children. I am most afraid of this kind of trouble, besides, her husband is entangled, and she herself can only be served by others—" —I'm exhausted, and Huang Zhenhua doesn't like people touching her, so I just can't stand it." The eldest brother smiled, and his smile contained a lot of content. I folded the sweaters one by one and put them in the suitcase. "Did you know that I'm dating Rose recently?" the eldest brother asked in a low voice.

I quickly made a surprised expression, "Really, her?" "yes." "She is indeed a beautiful woman," I said. "I remember you once turned her head upside down, Jiamin." I laughed desperately, "Brother, it's one thing to be upside down, and another thing to get married. I'm not an artist or a romantic fool. I don't want a woman who will serve me, and I will pursue a woman who asks me to serve me in vain. , isn’t this old birthday star looking for arsenic to eat?” Big brother stared at me. I shrugged, "You know me, my playful temper never changes, I'm always unwilling to sacrifice for love, now Mimi's family won't let me go—"

I said, "Hey, brother, I have nine children and you're in charge of naming them." "Nine?" The eldest brother's attention was diverted, and he frowned, "Really that many?" "Not many more," I patted my elder brother on the shoulder, "People used to have so many children, and the population explosion doesn't care about my number. Smart people can have more children, but stupid people don't." The elder brother smiled and shook his head. "That's how you will start a family." I said, "How many single girls in Hong Kong will cry secretly."

"Stop bragging." The elder brother laughed. "Really, hurry up and close the skylight too." I said leisurely. The eldest brother hesitated for a moment and said, "I am also discussing this matter with Rose." I secretly thought: Then I did the right thing, I can't help but quit. The eldest brother said: "But that Fang Xiewen is really difficult to deal with. Now he simply lives in Hong Kong and does not return to New York. He follows Rose every day. It is very troublesome." "Stay away from him for the time being. If you go to Paris, he may not follow you to Paris." I said.

"But he is the father of the child, and Rose refuses to return the child to him." "Is the marriage a divorce?" I asked, "He finally agreed to a divorce?" "Just because he is finally willing to divorce, Rose can't bear to be too harsh on him." "He is just a troublesome guy, a very useless guy, not necessarily dangerous." The eldest brother changed the subject, "Let's not talk about these things. You haven't seen Rose for a long time. She has always treated you like a brother. You can bring your new sister-in-law out to meet her." Treat me like a brother?I am silent, big brother, are you really confused or fake confused. "Jiamin?" "Yes, it will be ready at noon tomorrow." I said. I picked up the suitcase and headed back to Huang's mansion. Mrs. Huang checked it for me. She asked, "Why are there sweaters and no pants?" My poor head rests silently against the window. The radio is playing the old good Luo Shichaoyu's tune again: coc1 i don't want to talk about how you broke my heart my heart My old heart - coc2 I asked softly, "Who turned on the radio?" "Me." Mrs. Huang put down her sweater. At noon the next day, the whole Huang family, our two brothers, and Mimi had lunch together. Mimi's generosity and composure amazed me, she was calm and unmoved, until she saw the rose, she was just as stunned as I was. Rose no longer wears filial piety, her face is radiant with make-up, golden-purple eyelids, rose-red lips, her hair is braided into the most popular braids nowadays, with golden beads dangling from her braids.With a pair of rose-colored satin pants, a white linen shirt with lantern sleeves, and a large string of glass bracelets on the wrists, jingling. The heroine of One Thousand and One Nights stepped out of the picture. And the eldest brother always wears a white shirt and black suit, and keeps the ever-changing roses. My sacrifice is valuable. They are a pair of strangers, and they should have known each other ten years earlier.My heart tugs in pain. Huang Zhenhua frowned, "Little sister, you have to dress up like a carnival when you go out to eat a sandwich, I can't bear it." Rose said: "I can only dress up. This is my only skill. It's a pity that I don't need it after learning." She smiled like a rose in full bloom. Huang Zhenhua glanced at his elder brother, "You are not only capable like that, you also have the ability to dissolve icemen." The eldest brother smiled slightly. "Gui Mei, Pu Jiaming is the best man you think in your life, so you can do it yourself." Huang Zhenhua said. "Yes, big brother." Rose said, turning her head and looking at my big brother affectionately. I hurriedly lowered my head. "And you, Jia Min," Huang Zhenhua said, "You have to treat Mimi kindly." Mrs. Huang came to rescue her, "Zhenhua, don't rely on your old age to sell your old age. You go on and on, and you pretend to be drunk after just drinking a cup of tea." Huang Zhenhua patted his wife's hand apologetically. Rose said, "Congratulations, Jiamin." "You're welcome." I pretended to be calm. She said to Mimi again: "Jiamin and I are really like siblings. I am naturally happy when he gets married." She took out a string of sparkling diamond necklaces from her handbag and wanted to replace Mimi Put it on, "This is my meeting gift for you." Mrs. Huang said with a smile: "In broad daylight, what do you wear, it looks like a light bulb is hanging around your neck." Rose has a kind of childish stubbornness, insisting that Mimi wear it. Mimi didn't object, so she put it on. All I can say is: "It's beautiful." Kiss Mimi on the face. That afternoon, on our way to pick up the plane tickets, Mimi was very silent, moving the diamonds one by one with her fingers, and then she said: "She is so beautiful, even women can't stand her temptation, and the iron man melts down." Said, "Her beauty makes people willing to commit crimes for her." I was upset, so I said, "What does this have to do with us?" "She and Pu Jiaming are a natural pair, neither of them seem like people who live in this world: The Story of the Immortal." We finally got our plane tickets and left for Canada in a week. We were exhausted. There were a thousand guests at the wedding banquet, and there were nearly five hundred ladies, none of whom could compare to the splendor of roses. Her purple rose short backless gauze dress attracted the attention of all the audience. She leaned against her eldest brother, and the two of them held hands all night. Huang Zhenhua smiled at me and said, "I always thought that Pu Jiaming was hard-hearted." He said that if he felt regretful, he was really happy, "It turned out that the time hadn't come yet." After the gift was completed, he saw off the guests, and was disturbed until midnight. When he returned to the hotel, he fell asleep before taking off his clothes. When I woke up in the middle of the night, I found that Mimi had already taken off my leather shoes, and she finally changed into her pajamas herself, and took a nap on the bed. I feel infinitely empty and desolate. Well, people love some people, marry and have children with others. Dejected, I went to the bed and lay down.Mimi turned around, I hugged her, and couldn't help crying. my old heart. In the afternoon of the second day, we headed to Canada. Mimi said that once she got there, she had to get enough sleep, and she said she couldn't take it anymore. In fact she was already sound asleep on the plane, with her head resting on my shoulder. So, like all husbands do, I covered my wife with a thin blanket and started reading the news magazines. It doesn't take a genius to be a good husband, and I'll make Mimi happy, and she's a wise woman who knows that the happiest people in the world are those who are content. Mimi and I were looking for a house in the suburbs of Quebec. Mimi spoke her fluent French and negotiated with the real estate agent. Housing prices are much cheaper than in Hong Kong. I don't see anything to bargain with, but I am happy to have a smart wife. We set our sights on a bungalow with five rooms.There are oak trees on both sides of the house, and the red squirrels are jumping in and out, which is like a paradise. I said, "Go ahead and buy it." Once a year is worth it. "Nine children." Mimi smiled. "It's better to put a zipper on the belly." "Thanks a lot." "Can you afford it?" she asked with a smile. "You need money to get married," I said, "and if you don't have the ability, you don't need a wife." "But what about the children's lifetime of birth, old age, sickness and death?" she asked. "I do my best to support and care for them. If they are not satisfied, or suffer from emotional torture, or suffer from success or failure, it is their trouble." Mimi hugged my waist and laughed. We had a happy and comfortable one-month honeymoon. Mimi took good care of me. Every morning, even coffee was handed to me. I have no complaints. My mood gradually became brighter and my life was revived. Every morning I asked her the same question: "Are you pregnant?" She laughed and scolded me every day: "Crazy." We are so happy to miss Shu, and don't want to go back to Hong Kong. I don't want to get rich, I can find a job anywhere, and I can survive. Mimi is not the kind of woman who wants to show off and win fame and fortune. She will accommodate me. Let's live in seclusion and return to Hong Kong. As soon as this thought got out of hand, I wrote a letter home and told my elder brother where I was going. When the letter was put in the mailbox, I thought, after all, he is my eldest brother, the only person in the world who is related to me by blood. One bright morning, Mimi and I were walking in the park. She asked me, "Are you happy?" I replied, "I am very happy." "Are you happy?" Mimi became stubborn like a cow. "No," I said, "I'm not happy. Happiness is a deep thing." "Do you love me?" I patted my forehead, "Women all over the world like to ask this kind of question, what kind of answer do you like to hear? Saying I love you is effortless, why do you insist on hearing it?" Mimi smiled and said nothing. "Huang Zhenhua has never loved Su Gengsheng madly, but can you say that they are not a good couple? Who says we are not a good couple." Mimi was silent. "Women want men to die for her, don't they?" I laughed. "If I die, what's your joy?" Mimi looked up at the blue sky with white clouds, she smiled.I'm most afraid of her smiling like this, as if she has penetrated the infinite world, turned over countless somersaults, and the sky is cold like autumn-everything doesn't matter, she has accepted her fate.I sigh. I would rather she scold me, act like a spoiled child, and make a fuss—women are too mature and sensible, and men are like two brothers, lacking that warmth. As friends, Mimi and Mrs. Huang are naturally ideal, but lifelong partners... …I looked at Mimi. There is a saying in the book called "Even if the case is equal to the eyebrows, the meaning will not be settled." I understand this sentence now. So I also laughed sadly like Mimi. The two couples smiled at each other knowingly, whether you said it was sad or happy. I squeezed her hand tightly. "You stay in this barren place—I'm afraid it's an escape," said Mimi. "Yes," I said, "please stop asking." "Okay, Jiamin, I promise you, I will never ask questions again." Mimi said, "You knew it would please me to tell a lie or two, but you insisted on being honest with me because I could stand it." "No," I replied, "because you are an educated woman, I can't hide anything from you behind your back." "I wasted my whole life for being smart?" She laughed again. "Originally," I said, "we've all wasted our lives on being smart." It is a joy to be able to talk so freely with my wife. When I got home, there was a telegram on the desk, which said: "It's urgent, please return, Huang Zhenhua." I asked: "What's the matter?" Mimi thought about it for a while: "Huang Zhenhua himself will never have any accidents. He was originally a careful and stable person." "Then it's about the roses," I said. "What do roses have to do with me?" "It won't be about Rose either." Mimi said, "Huang Zhenhua is very measured in his actions, so he might not bother you about Rose." "Inference expert, so whose business is it?" "It's about your elder brother." Mimi said. My blood clots.No! "Brother?" I asked back, "What's the matter, brother?" "Take a call and go back! Quick." Mimi said. I even forgot to do that, thanks to Mimi being by my side. The call was connected, and it was Mrs. Huang who came to listen. I asked, "What's wrong with my brother?" "Your brother wants to see you." "What happened?" "Hurry back, how can things make sense on the phone?" "Brother, is there something wrong?" "he--" "Who's okay?" I paused, "Is there something wrong with Rose?" "Rose is fine, Jia Min, I'm upset, you two come back as soon as possible, okay? Your elder brother needs you by his side." Mimi and I looked at each other, wondering what medicine was sold in the gourd. Mimi answered the phone: "Mrs. Huang, we will be right back." She hung up the phone. Mimi took her handbag and coat. "what you do?" "Buy a plane ticket back to Hong Kong." "I won't go back. No one has any accidents, hesitating, why should I go back?" "There's something wrong," Mimi said. "I have a feeling something is terribly wrong with them." "Who is wrong?" "You'll know when you go back." "I won't go back, and it doesn't matter to me if someone dies." I swore. Mimi was silent. I said, "Okay, this is not the time to get angry, I'll go with you, but the new life I'm just about to start—" Mimi raised her head and asked, "What happened to your old life?" Her tone was unusually poignant. I put my arm around her shoulder, "Let's go together." After booking the plane ticket, we will contact Mrs. Huang, who is crying over there. I feel that something is very wrong, and my heart beats suddenly. Mrs. Huang is the kind of person who is indifferent to the situation. Even if Huang Zhenhua has an affair with her, she will just nod and say "Hello". If her mood changes so much, the matter will be no small matter. . On the plane, I felt sick to my stomach, couldn't eat, and felt like a lead was falling in my heart. Mimi felt the same way, the two of us had four cold hands.The twenty-four-hour voyage was not easy to pass. I said: "I only have this big brother..." intermittently. Mimi was silent. "Brother, if there is anything—" I couldn't continue. I rested my head on my hands and stayed up all the way, my eyes were full of stars. The closer I got to Hong Kong, the more ominous I felt. When we finally arrived at the airport, we didn't have any luggage, so we rushed out and saw Huang Zhenhua and his wife standing in the waiting room with pale faces. My heart almost jumped out of my chest. I asked sharply, "Where's my elder brother?" Mrs. Huang said, "You have to calm down—" "Where is he?" I grabbed Mrs. Huang and asked, "You said he was fine, you said he was fine—" Huang Zhenhua yelled angrily, "Can you stay calm, okay? I've never seen you calm down. You're in your thirties, and it's not like you haven't read a book. You cry and yell about every little thing!" "Zhenhua—" Mrs. Huang dissuaded him. Mimi blocked me, "We're ready, Mrs. Huang, no matter what bad news you have, tell it quickly." "Jia Min, your eldest brother is sick, and he only has three months to live." Huang Zhenhua said. Mimi took three steps back and bumped into me, "No!" I just felt that the blood all over my body rushed to my head, I couldn't stand still, and there was a "buzzing" sound in my ears. After a long, long time, I took a step forward, my steps floating.I heard myself ask: "Brother, are you sick? Only three months to live?" Mrs. Huang shed tears, "It's true." "What disease? Why don't I know anything about it?" My legs felt weak. "He didn't tell you, and he never told you." Mrs. Huang said, "Everyone knows now, but Rose insists on marrying him." "Where's brother?" I asked tremblingly. "At home." Huang Zhenhua said. "Where's the rose?" I said. "At our house." Huang Zhenhua said. Mimi said: "Let's go back and talk about it, let's go." Sitting in the car, my lips were parched and my tongue was dry. Thinking of all the disheartened actions of my elder brother, I suddenly understood everything. He knew he was sick. But he didn't tell me, he just told me to get married and have ten or eight sons, and he would have an explanation. I put my head in the crook of my arms, wanting to cry without tears. Mrs. Huang whimpered and said, "What is cancer that takes the lives of our loved ones for no reason?" Huang Zhenhua murmured: "Now we have to save two people, Rose and Jia Ming." I didn't care about Mimi's extra thoughts, and asked with a broken heart: "What's wrong with Rose?" "She wants to marry Jiaming no matter what. She has returned Little Rose to Fang Xiewen. Fang Xiewen has divorced her and returned to the United States with her daughter." I asked blankly: "She actually gave up Little Rose for the elder brother?" "Yes, but Jia Ming refused to marry her," Mrs. Huang said, "Jia Ming only wanted to see you, but once you and Mimi left Hong Kong, we almost lost track of both of you until a letter came from you. I got the address." Mrs. Huang was so tired that she couldn't stand up straight, "You'll be fine when you come back, Jiamin, I've had a fever for a week. Now the doctor comes to our house two or three times a day." When I arrived at Huang's house, I didn't care what Mimi was thinking, so I went to find Rose first. Pushing open the door, she sat in front of the window like a stone statue, like a clay sculpture, motionless.His face was pale, and his cheeks were sunken, not human-like. "Rose!" I called her. She looked up, saw it was me, and stood up, "Jia Min!" She ran towards me, knocked over a tea table, and fell to the ground. "Rose!" I went to help her up. She hugged me tightly, but couldn't cry, "Jia Min." I pressed her head, my eyes looked up to the sky, with a kind of accusation, and a sound like a beast was wounded came out of my throat. Mimi turned her head away, Huang Zhenhua and his wife looked at us dumbfounded. I said: "Rose, stay here well. I'll go find my elder brother and make sure he sees you. Don't worry, I only have him and he only has me. He must listen to me." Rose's eyes were full of despair, and she held my hand tightly. "You rest first," I said, "I'll go home and find him right away." Rose raised her head and said softly to me, "I love him, even if it's three months, it doesn't matter, I love him." My heart was pierced, "Yes, I know, I know." Mrs. Huang said, "Gui Mei, go and lie down for a while, don't worry Jia Min." Rose's soul seemed to have left her body, she let out an "oh", and let Mrs. Huang hold her. Huang Zhenhua gave me a wink, and I followed him out. He said, "Let's go find Pu Jiaming." It felt like a large piece of lead was embedded in my throat, and I held on to Mimi with one hand. Mimi burst into tears. I said over and over again: "I only have this big brother—" When I got home, I opened the door with the key, and the maid came out immediately, "Second Young Master, Eldest Young Master doesn't see any guests." "I'm his brother!" "Eldest young master invites second young master to come in, and none of the guests will be seen." The old servant wanted to be tough, just like the housewife. I said, "This is also an outsider? This is the second young lady!" Mimi said quickly, "I'll wait here." Sad and angry, I followed the servants into the study. The eldest brother is sitting at the desk and adjusting the strings of the Vatican dumbbells. He looks calm. "Brother!" I went up to him. He didn't look up. "You also know the news?" "Brother, why do you hide it from me?" I almost vomited blood. "With your personality," he said with a smile, "can I tell you?" "Brother—" "Later, Rose was finally found out. She is a careful woman." The eldest brother said, "I can't hide it from her." "How long can you live?" "Three months." He was calm, "Maybe sooner, who knows." "But the rose—" "So you have to tell Rose: Why is there a need for a wedding? If she is willing to accompany me until the day I go, I don't mind, but if you get married, then there is no need." "She loves you." "I know." The eldest brother lit a cigarette, "I love her too. We met at this time, she brought me the last glory in my life, I am very grateful to her," the eldest brother smiled, "I know that I I won't live long, so I acted presumptuously and snatched her from you. Jia Min, do you think I would do this kind of thing if I could live to be seventy years old?" "You already knew." I said. "Yes, I knew earlier, and I also knew that you loved her. Jiamin, but I think you will forgive me." He said nonchalantly. "What did the doctor say?" I asked sadly. He opened the drawer, "All the materials are here, you can take them and read them yourself, I don't want to say more." "Rose wants to see you." "I will not marry her." "She loves you very much, and she is willing to marry you." "She can't figure it out, she's too romantic, she can't figure out that after three months, I will really die, and she will really become a widow," said the elder brother. I said, "I don't think she is so childish. You shouldn't underestimate her feelings." The elder brother raised his head, "She will forget me sooner or later, Jia Min, time will heal all wounds." "Brother—" "Go back and tell Rose that our time is too short, don't force me to get married again," said the elder brother. "Brother—" "Stop talking, Jia Min, you should be happy for me. Thirty is not the end of life. I'm forty-two this year." I closed my eyes, and tears poured out like a fountain. "Jia Min," the eldest brother said, "Your habit of crying has never changed. Ever since you were a child, you would shed tears whenever something went wrong. Call Mimi in. I have something to say to her." Mimi came in at the sound, her eyes red and swollen from crying. The eldest brother was surprised, "I'm not dead yet, you're just like this!" "Brother!" Mimi went to hug him and cried out loudly at Tao, "You can't go, brother, you can't go." The eldest brother hugged her, but still didn't move. I put my head on my hand, Huang Zhenhua whispered to me: "Jia Min, come here, I have a few words with you." He pulled me to the terrace. He said: "What Jiaming needs is to live a peaceful life. We will always fulfill him. Go back and try to persuade Rose to stay with him for another three months." Huang Zhenhua waved his hand, "He is not doing everything for Rose." I said: "The two met at this time—" I took out my handkerchief and wiped my tears. "Yes," the eldest brother stood behind us with a smile, "how lucky I am to have met her in my lifetime." I couldn't bear it, "You're still laughing, brother, you're still laughing!" "People are always going to die," he said gently. "After five hundred years, what's the difference? The important thing is to live well while you're alive." I hugged him tightly. He is happier than many people, as long as life is good, not long, he is right, he was able to find the person he loves in his lifetime, and the person he loves loves him, which is really better than countless people in the world. From now on, our family will repress ourselves and not mention the term death. I talked with Rose all night. She was almost going crazy. "I've been looking for him for half my life, and I found him, but his life is only three months away." Her eyes were empty. "Some people never find it in a lifetime." I was infected with the brave philosophy of the big brother. "I love him." "We both know that," I said. "I love him very much," she said. My heart is broken, but I still say, "I know." "I love you too, Jia Min, but that's different. I love you as I love myself, and I love Jia Ming more than I love myself." "I know." "If he insists on being good for me and refuses to marry me, I can't help it. I still love him and I am willing to accompany him for a while." I said, "My eldest brother is really the luckiest man in the world." Rose said bravely: "You may not understand my feelings for Jia Ming, but I have known him for more than these days. The first time I saw him, I had a feeling: I know this person has been around for a long time, and he is mine. Sweetheart. Does Jiamin understand? Sweetheart, he has existed for a long time." Sweetheart.I thought desolately: Rose Rose, why are you not my sweetheart. "Tomorrow I will move in with him," said Rose, "and you won't object." I shake my head. "Maybe you don't know," Rose said, "I can cook good dishes, I can also knit sweaters, and I can serve Jiaming and make him comfortable. We are actually very happy. We only have three months. We don't There will be time to quarrel, and there will be no chance to turn against each other. We enjoy all the joys of a couple, but we don't have their troubles." Rose suddenly became optimistic, "Jia Min, encourage me." I held her in my arms, "I bless you." Rose moves into Big Brother's house. That day, the eldest brother leaned against the door of the study to welcome her. She saw her eyes filled with love and admiration, and there was a beautiful smile on the corner of her mouth. She was still thin and pale, with a tormented appearance, but she was still as beautiful as Daphne Qi's Mona Lisa, so a holy radiance is added to the face.The eldest brother shook her hands and said with a smile, "Have you finally surrendered?" There is no one else in their world anymore, and Mimi and I quietly quit. Mimi sighed, "We're just mortals." I looked at Mimi and said: "We are going to grow old together, I want you to have many children for me, daughters don't count, at least three sons, I am not that great, I know life is full of disasters, but I like to see The kids are running around. Mimi, get pregnant right now." Mimi nodded, "Okay, let's do the most vulgar thing, as intellectuals, desperately have children." "Thank you." I patted her on the shoulder. "Where is it, Jia Min, maybe I will never have a chance to prove my love for you, but I do love you more than myself." I said, "Mimi, this has already been confirmed." We have never been more sensitive to time. Every day when the sun rises, I will sigh, another day, this is the first day of Jiaming's remaining days. When the sun goes down, I will think again, Jiaming's life is one day less. All the time I'm not suffering from pain in my heart. Huang Zhenhua and I were in a half-rest state because we couldn't concentrate on our work. Rose showed her infinite perseverance. She was happy as if nothing had happened, and my elder brother was as calm and peaceful as ever. We invited them out, but most of them were unsuccessful. Their reasons were simple and true: "There is no time. " I often take Mimi to visit Big Brother and Rose in the afternoon, watching them flirt and live a seemingly normal life. The eldest brother practiced his Vatican dumbbells, Rose deliberately raised her voice, and then pretended to whisper: "The sound of the piano is no different from killing chickens and ducks. At that time, in order to pursue him, I had to pretend to be a bosom friend. It’s been a long time now, it’s really like being punished.” The eldest brother naturally heard it clearly, and he said loudly: "You deserve it!" I said, "You can learn from me and kick the door of his study hard to tell him to stop." Rose said helplessly: "I'm afraid, he said that if I insult him like this, he will, he will—" "What will happen to him?" Mimi asked in surprise, "Hit someone?" "He will cry." Rose blinked. I laughed wildly, with tears in my eyes. Why can't such a couple live together for five generations?Big Brother is more qualified than anyone else to live, and Rose is more qualified than anyone else to bear him a child. At dusk, Rose cooks delicate side dishes by herself, focusing on quality rather than weight, usually only two or three dishes, full of color, fragrance, and taste, so that people almost swallow their tongues. The eldest brother provokes Rose to be angry intentionally or unintentionally—— "I'm afraid salt is very expensive recently. I really need to save some. That's why this dish is bland." Rose would jump on him and hit him. He would shout: "Ai ai ai ai ai ai ai ai ai ai ai ai ai ai ai ai ai ai ai ai ai ai ai ai ai" I only envy mandarin ducks but not immortals. Mrs. Huang said quietly to me one day: "Only seeing them can I understand what love is. It is so blind and unruly and thrilling. We are just inferior people who will get married and have children when the time comes. When there is any comparison, the difference between the two is the same." points." Mimi said, "But they condense time, and their days are numbered." "What about us?" Mrs. Huang smiled bitterly, "Who among us can guarantee that we can live to be a hundred years old? Who doesn't compete with time? Tomorrow may never come." Her voice was infinitely bitter, "At this moment, I don't think I have any lived." "You and Huang Zhenhua—" I was dumbfounded. "Zhenhua and I—" She looked up, "Zhenhua is an eternally peaceful person, except for his career, everything is his accessory." "There is no such thing as love in his life, but the biggest defect in my character is the delusional pursuit of love," Mrs. Huang asked, "Am I old? Am I no longer qualified to talk about these things? Not necessarily, I have always been Very painful." I listened in a daze, very surprised. "Zhenhua took perfect care of me in life," Mrs. Huang smiled. "Most women would think he is a good husband." She smiled again: "I am a capable and capable woman. I am luckier than others. I can solve life problems with my own hands, so I have time to pursue spiritual life. If Huang Zhenhua can't satisfy me, what nostalgia do I have?" ? I don't need to accommodate Huang Zhenhua anymore." I asked blankly: "You mean—" "I want to leave Huang Zhenhua." She said gently. "What?" I jumped up, "You and Huang are recognized as an ideal couple in the city." "People in the city?" She smiled indifferently, "What do the people in the city know? Do I live for them?" Mimi pondered for a while, "Does Mr. Huang know about this?" "No, these are extraordinary times, and I have no intention of causing more confusion." We understand what she means, she has always been a good wife. I was shocked and my faith in marriage was greatly shaken. "In the past ten years, I am the only one who knows that we are not a perfect couple. I have accommodated him in every possible way," Mrs. Huang said. I have completely lost myself and become his shadow, so he is satisfied, without even realizing that I am trying to find a job on my own." I listen carefully. "At first, I didn't understand either. I thought that the way of husband and wife must accommodate each other. Now that I met Jiaming and Rose, I realized that was not the case. I was not happy. Maybe my request was too high and unreasonable, but why? No, I, like everyone, only live once." Mimi opened her eyes wide and looked at me. She felt the same in her heart, and the various grievances she suffered for me at this moment, will it explode like Mrs. Huang in the future? Mrs. Huang sighed deeply, "I don't ask the world to forgive me." Mimi said impulsively, "I forgive you!" “当初嫁黄振华……是因为要争口气——你们以为我完了吗？早着呢。一口气，”她哈哈地笑起来，“多可笑。” “你是爱他的吧？”我忍不住。 “自然我爱他，但自始至终，他未曾爱过我，未婚前他舒适地住在父母的家中，令我等了他三年半。他可没想到这一千多日我浪费在公寓中，天天度日如年——呵你们还年轻，你们不明白这些说不完的故事，我虽然老了，我也还有我的故事。” 咪咪紧紧握住她的手，“我是你的后身，黄太太。” 黄太太摇摇头，“家敏懂得感情，你们可以白头偕老。但只有振华，他不懂得玫瑰，不懂得家敏，亦不懂得我，他浑身无懈可击，但他不懂得爱情——” “这点我同意。”我说。 黄太太说：“多么不幸。” 黄太太的悲剧是她要在已成事实的环境中追寻理想。 真没想到他们这一对也会出毛病，两个人在一起生活，岂是一项艺术，简直是盖万里长城，艰苦的工程。 将死的人硬是要在一起，活着的人要分开。 黄振华对我诉苦，味如黄连。 女人，他说他不明白女人。十年了，他与苏更生是公认的最佳夫妻，现在她与他冷战，搬到书房去睡，半夜三四点还在听柴可夫斯基的钢琴协奏曲，第二天起身后却又若无其事。 黄振华说：“她爱我，这女人到现在还非常爱我，但她却舍得如此对付我，我确实不明白这女人的心。” 我说：“或许她认为你不爱她。” “我不爱她？”黄振华用手指向他自己的鼻子，“我不爱她还会娶她？她十年来就控诉我不爱她，女人们都祈望男人为她们变小丑，一个个为她们去死，她们设想到的是，丈夫死了她们是要做寡妇的。” I dare not make a sound. “不是我说，玫瑰纵有千般不是，她也有个好处，她从来不与男人争论这些事，玫瑰的头脑最简单，爱就是爱，她又不计算付出多少，得回多少，她从不把爱放在天平上量，你说是不是？” 我心中温柔地绞痛，玫瑰怎么同呢，世上有几个玫瑰呵，我们都是凡人，凡人中苏更生女士也算是数一数二的性情中人了，黄振华不能如此说。 黄振华说：“女人！没读过书的女人像红番，读过书的女人又要干革命。” 可爱得无懈可击的女人如玫瑰，然而命运又这样坏。 她决定与大哥到巴哈马群岛去度假，我们一起劝阻。大哥已经要每周定期到医院去吃药打针，离开熟悉的环境是非常不智的行为。 大哥豁达地笑，认为不打紧，“不去巴哈马也不见得就能多活十年，现在还不能作随心所欲的事？等几时？真的想经过一条有白光的隧道，等待来生乎？” 玫瑰也笑嘻嘻地支持着大哥，站在他身后，手搭在他肩膀上，另一只手轻轻的抚摸他的后颈，当大哥是一个小孩子。 他们两人那种视死如归的自若，决非假装，因此更加使我们害怕震惊。我们看着他俩上飞机。 大哥临走时跟我说：“家敏，家中书房里的几只琴，很值一点钱，不要当烂木扔掉，可以将它去换数辆发拉利地通那蜘蛛型跑车。”他笑。 我听在耳中，心如刀割，紧紧拥抱他。 玫瑰穿着七彩的花衬衫，三个骨开叉裤，梳一条马尾巴，大圈耳环，热带风情，一点没有伤感。 大哥笑语：“比起玫瑰，我简直是黑白新闻片拷贝站在特艺七彩歌舞片身边。” 玫瑰笑得前仰后合，咪咪也赔着笑。 他们终于走了，像一般度蜜月的年轻男女，只是他们没有将来，他们不会白头偕老。 回家途中，咪咪忽然说：“我明白了，我明白为何你那么疯狂地爱上玫瑰。” 我一怔，不出声。 “她真是天底下最美丽的女人。”咪咪由衷地说。 我说：“我也认为如此。” “我们之中哪一个人，能够忠于人忠于自己，又同时勇敢地活下去？无论对谁，她都于心无愧，甚至是方协文，她给他最好的十年，她给他安琪儿似的女儿，”咪咪说，“她从不计算得失，我做不到她所做的十分之一，要我学她，比骆驼穿针眼还要困难。” 我在心中叹气。 我说：“我们幸运，可以在感情领域中兜圈子，有些人单为三餐，从早做到晚，大雨滂沦时挤在密不通风的公路车上，他们更加不能找到机会将伟大的人格发扬光大……” 我说：“咪咪，人与人是不能比较的，上帝并不公平，生命是一种幻觉，我唯一的年轻有为的兄弟要离我而去了，我束手无策，而公司左侧街角的那个老乞丐，他将继续蹲在灰尘中三十年，求路人施舍一个角子，你能解释这种现象吗？” 咪咪别转头，不出声。 隔了很久，她说：“家敏，我有孕了，我们第一个孩子将在明年六月出生。” “啊——”我在愁肠百结中看到一线曙光，“六月，咪咪，如果是女孩子，我们可叫她六月。” “男孩子呢？”她问我。 “叫小明，小小一点像家明就够了。”我说道。 咪咪微笑，“非常好，我们的孩子也不必太聪明，稍微一点点聪明就够了。” “在小处着眼有什么不好呢？”我说，“做小人物才快乐呢。” 黄振华夫人显然不这么想，玫瑰与家明离开后三天，她便向黄振华提出分居的要求。 黄振华没料到有这一着，他震惊至精神极度紧张，无法应付工作，不住地问：“为什么？为什么？” 黄太太维持缄默。 黄振华咆哮：“你想我也患上血癌，与你搂在一起死，以便证明我对你的爱？” 黄太太收拾一只小衣箱要离开。 黄振华崩溃下来，“更生，求你不要离开我，这是我一生中第二次求人，第一次求的是你，第二次求的也是你。” 黄太太苍白地说：“你不明白，振华，你始终不会明白。” 我与咪咪为了做中间人，跑去坐在那里听人家夫妻相吵相骂，无限难过。 “我知道，你要我对你无微不至，你在开头的时候就希望我接你上下班，我没有那么做，你就记恨，我没有在约会的地方等你一小时，你就——” 黄太太抬起头，看着黄振华，黄振华忽然不说了，他叹口气，“我在大事上总是照顾你的。” “大事？”黄太太说，“几时第三次世界大战呢？我肯定到那一天，你一定会带着我逃难。可是振华，这十年来，上班我一个人去，下班我一个人回来，中饭你没有空，晚上你有应酬，生了病我自己找医生。振华，在不打仗没有大事发生的时候，我要见你的面也难。” I bow my head. 黄太太说：“我仍然是一个寂寞的女人，你的阳光太高太远，照不到我身上。黄振华，我配不起你，你另觅佳丽去吧。” 黄振华说：“更生，世上没有十全十美的人。” 黄太太说：“冰冻三尺，非一日之寒，振华。” 黄振华说：“更生，我劝你三思，如果我们都要分开——” 黄太太不再言语。 黄振华叹口气，站起来离去。 走到门口，他转过身子来，跟我们无限悲凉地说：“我活得太长了，如果去年死去，我也就是世上最好的丈夫。” 黄太太仍然不说话。 直至他走，她不再说话。 她显然是下定了决心。 我只觉失望，他俩甚至不是早婚的两夫妇，这样的一对还要分开，不知是哪些人才能白头偕老。 咪咪像是洞悉了我的思想，她说：“哦，很多人，要面子的、因循的、懦弱的、倚靠饭票的、互相利用的，家敏，多得很呢，白头偕老的人多得很呢，有什么大不了的事，关系破裂了，有一种特制的夫妻牌万能胶水，粘一粘又和好如初。你少担心呢，满街都是恩爱夫妻，孩子们不停地被生下来加强他们的关系。你少担心，家敏，我们就是最好的榜样。” 咪咪哭了。 那是因为我变心之后她并无勇气离开我。 而我，我不能在玫瑰拒绝我之后做到除却巫山不是云的境界。 千疮百孔的世界，值得哭的事情原是非常多的。 大哥与玫瑰在三星期后回港。 玫瑰走出来，大哥用担架抬出来。 玫瑰脸色很坏，但是坚强镇定，眼睛有一丝空洞，她握紧我的手。 在车子里她对我低声说：“他说他爱我，他说他很快乐。” I nod. 大哥没有再开口说话，他一直处在休克的状态。 在医院病房中我们两夫妻与黄振华三人轮流看守，但是玫瑰一直在那里。 她的头发梳成两条辫子，穿件宽大的白衬衫，一条褪色牛仔裤，常常捧着咖啡喝。 玫瑰的神色非常平静，很少说话。 我们知道溥家明不会再开口与我们说话，他的生命已走向终点。 本来我已经歇斯底里，但是玫瑰的恒静对我们起了良好的作用，我们也能够合理地商讨家明的身后事。 星期日深夜，我们奉医生之命，赶到医院去见大哥最后一面。 玫瑰已经有好几天不眠不休了，她坐在床沿，低下头，握着大哥的手，将他的手贴在脸边，一往情深在看着他。 她没有哭。 这时候大哥早已不是平日的大哥，他的器官已开始腐败，每一下呼吸都传出难闻的臭味，他长时期的昏迷使得四肢死亡，肌肉出现一种灰白色。 一度英俊的人，现在就跟一切久病的骷髅无异。 但他在玫瑰的眼中，仍然是风度翩翩、俊秀懦雅的溥家明，她丝毫不以为意，轻轻地吻着他的手。 咪咪的眼睛早已濡湿。 医生替他注射，告诉我们，他会有一刻的清醒。 这就是俗语的所谓回光返照了。 玫瑰抬起头，见到我们，她说：“他也真累，应该去了，拖着无益。”语气并不伤心，也不激动。 咪咪伏在大哥身上饮泣。 大哥缓缓睁开眼睛，蠕动嘴唇，想说话。我们趋向前，他却没有发出声音，一个健康的人断不会知道说一句话也要这么大的力量吧。 他的眼光在我们身上缓缓转动，终于落在玫瑰的脸上，他深陷的眸子居然尚能发出柔和的光辉，玫瑰的嘴附在他耳畔，清澈地说：“我爱你。” 他听见了，微微点头。 “我爱你到永远永远。”玫瑰再说一遍。 咪咪泣不成声。 然后大哥的喉咙咯咯作响，我抓紧着他的手渐渐冷却，他吁出最后一口气，我知道他的灵魂已经离开，我暴戾地大声狂叫起来，声音串不成句子，护士斥责我，咪咪用双臂抱着我，号陶大哭。 我巴不得跟了大哥去，生老病死，都非出自我们本愿，人生到底为苦为乐。 玫瑰抬起头来，放好大哥双手，护士替他的脸盖上白布，从此这个生命就在世界上一笔勾销，太阳再也照不到他身上。 玫瑰过来拍拍我的肩膀，“家敏，别难过，别难过。” 这时黄振华与苏更生一前一后也赶到了。 黄振华双目红肿，他的分居妻子永远穿着白衣服，然而憔悴得不得了。 玫瑰似乎负起了安慰众人的责任，她对于死亡毫无恐惧，她接受这项事实犹如接受她生为一个美丽的女人般。 “我们走吧。”她建议，“我很疲倦，我想好好睡觉。” 咪咪说：“我们陪你——” “不需要，”玫瑰温和地说：“我不会有事的，你们送我回老房子就可以了。” 黄振华说：“玫瑰，我送你，家敏的情绪不甚稳定，不宜开车。” 玫瑰说：“这里最适宜开车的人是我。” "Don't say that." 我开车送了玫瑰回家，老房子阴暗华丽，仿佛那日我第一次见她，天在下雨，忘了带伞，她来替我开门，我一心一意地惊艳，到此刻仿佛已隔一个世纪了。 她说：“你们请回吧，我想休息。” 咪咪问：“你打算做些什么？” “先好好睡一觉。”玫瑰说。 “睡醒了呢？”咪咪问道。 “吃一顿很饱的饭。” "and then?" “整理一下屋子——”玫瑰诧异地问道，“你们不相信我会如常生活？” “可是——”咪咪嗫嚅地说：“家明已经不在了。” “我知道他已经不在，”玫瑰说，“但是他希望我活下去，他会希望我快乐正常地活下去。” “你做得到吗？”我问。 “我会学习，”她说，“为了家明。” 她推开书房的门。 她对这间旧书房有莫大的偏爱。 “你们请回吧，我要喝杯茶，抽支烟。”她说，“有女佣人在，你们可以放心，可以随时打电话来查。” 我们只好告辞。 “家敏。”她叫住我。 我转头去。 “家敏，不要太伤心。”她说。 我麻木地与咪咪退出。回到家中，我们几乎溃不成军，咪咪说我一连几夜叫唤大哥的名字。 溥家明从此不在了。 黄振华少了苏更生，什么事都办不成。苏更生总算念着旧情，常回来帮我们。 大哥把他的全部财产留给了我。 他把他的爱分为两份，一份给我，一份给玫瑰。他的生命是丰盛的，他给予，他也取索，他的生命也不算短，四十二岁，足够有余，生命只需好，不需长。 玫瑰又自由了。 她比往日沉默许多，徘徊在老房子的书房内，不大出去交际应酬。 玫瑰仍然令人心悸的美丽，并没有为家明穿孝服。她不在乎这种表面化的世俗礼法，照旧穿着彩色缤纷的时髦服装。 她又开始吸烟，本来已经戒掉，现在因陪家明，又染上重吸，通常与她过去的大嫂一起出入。 我曾自荐陪伴她，她却婉辞。 她说：“我现在这个年纪，总得学习避免嫌疑。家敏，你是已婚男人，太太快要生养，你的时间应全归妻子。” 她的道理十足，我只好知难而退。 家明的葬礼之后，我们家静下来。 再也没有他的琴声了，我的身子像是忽然少了一半，不能平衡。 咪咪怀孕的身体渐渐不便，她很坚强，仍然工作，有时极度疲倦，我劝她辞职，她又不肯，照样撑着上班，家事交给佣人。 我劝过几次，便省得麻烦，对她我有歉意，我的情感淡淡，不像对玫瑰那般火里来火里去。 我与咪咪是一辈子的事，不把精力蓄藏起来留待后用是不行的。 我在短短三个月间变成一个标准的住家男人，下了班就万念俱灰，回家脱了皮鞋便高声问：“拖鞋呢？” 女佣人倒一杯暧昧的绿茶，香是香，但不知何品何种，我也将就着喝了。书房内有数幅莫名其妙的画，我也挂了，也无所谓。 摊开报纸，我足足可以看上一小时，头也不抬起来。渐渐地我迷上了副刊的小说，一个叫卫斯理的人，写他的科幻小说，告诉我们，生命实在是一个幻觉，我一天天地追下去。 佣人说开饭，我就坐下吃，吃很多，对菜式也不挑剔，比较喜欢白切鸡这些简单易入口的肉类，很快就在肚上长了一圈肉，裤头都有点紧，也不刻意去理它。我知道我已经放弃了。 四月份我们的孩子出生，在产房门口等，我也不大紧张。 孩子顺产，强壮，是个女孩子，我有点高兴，拍拍咪咪的肩膊，半开玩笑地说：“同志仍须努力。” 我的一生，就这样完了吧。 我的一生与咪咪的一生。 但是玫瑰的一生却还早呢。 我们有时也看见她。她永远不老，只是一直成熟下去，美丽、优雅、沉默，脸容犹如一块宝石，转动时闪烁着异彩。 追求她的人很多，妇女杂志仍然以刊登她的访问为荣。即使不是她的美貌，现在黄家老房子那块地，也足以使她成为城中数一数二的富女。 她具备了一个女人所有的最佳条件。 我问