Chapter 4 Chapter 4 is very sour and slightly sweet

I gave up Wenzhi originally because of Yang Hongnian, but I resisted him, as if complaining that he made me unable to choose someone I really like.I'm ashamed of what I've done, and I try to be nice to him for the rest of my life. In March 1991, on his birthday, I spent all my money and bought him a Japanese RV.In the morning, I asked someone to park the car outside his door, and then I pretended not to bring the key, and rang the doorbell to usher him out. "Happy birthday! That's yours." I pointed to the car. "Why did you give me such an expensive gift?"

He wasn't as happy as I expected. "I want to make you happy, do you like it?" I put the car keys in his hand. "I like it." He said lightly. "Aren't you going to try it out? Let's go for a ride now." "It's very traffic jam at this time, let's try another day." "Do you not like this gift?" "No, I love it." He touched my face and said, "I'm going to Los Angeles tomorrow." "Isn't it just next week?" "I want to go early." "May I drop you off tomorrow?" I rubbed his hair, face, eyes, nose, lips, ears and neck with both hands.He taught me to trust the feel of my hands.However, my feeling for him is getting weaker and weaker.

At noon the next day, I sent him to the airport, and he brought an extra suitcase of luggage than usual. "Why did you bring so much luggage this time?" I asked him on the airport bus. He closed his eyes and didn't answer me. I'm used to him getting angry like this. When we arrived at the restricted area of ​​the airport and were about to enter the gate, he suddenly said to me: "I have already withdrawn the rent of that house. This time I go to Los Angeles, I will stay for a while." "What do you mean?" I was stunned. "The reporter who reported the news came to see you, didn't he?"

I was taken aback, how did he know? "On Christmas Eve I watched him walk into your house and come out again. I recognize him. Didn't I say I'm a fan of his movie?" "Yes, he came, so what? He's gone." "That pair of woolen socks you always wear is from him, isn't it?" I didn't answer him. "I guessed it right." He said proudly. "What do you want to say?" "You haven't been the same since he's been here." "I will not go back to Hong Kong." "Your heart is not here. Buying such an expensive gift for me is because of guilt?"

I am speechless. "Do you think I need your charity?" He sneered, "I don't care about your guilt." He put the car keys in my hand and said, "I gave you a chance. I don't like that car at all. You can keep it for yourself." "I can't drive." I said stubbornly. "I can't drive either." I was stunned. "When did I tell you that I can drive? After all these years, you don't even know if I can drive. You just want to choose the most expensive gift you can afford to deceive yourself that you love Me. You can't fool me, have you forgotten that I am your master?"

I am so ashamed. He rubbed my eyes with his hands and said: "You know what? You have a pair of beautiful eyes. The most beautiful thing about them is that they can't lie. The most undisguised thing in the world is the kind when you don't love someone. eyes." I lowered my eyelids sadly. "Goodbye." He left me and walked into the restricted area without looking back. Yes, I forgot, he is my master, he can always see through me. Leaving the airport, I was alone again. That car, I sold to Kara's friend.A week later, in April 1991, I returned to Hong Kong from New York.

Liangmei agreed to come and pick me up.Walking out of the restricted area of ​​the airport, both sides were crowded with people who came to pick up the plane, and I couldn't see Liangmae.In the crowd, I saw a familiar face, Wen Zhi. He stepped forward and said shyly, "How are you?" "We meet again." I said sadly. He carried my luggage for me, "Liangmei said she couldn't come." "I agreed to stay at her house temporarily." "I'll take you--" We took a taxi and arrived outside a building in Wan Chai. "Did she move?" I wondered.

Wenzhi smiled and said nothing, and took me to the door of a unit on the twelfth floor.He took out his key and opened the door. As soon as I entered the door, I saw two glass vases about three feet high filled with colorful glass beads. "After you left, I bought some glass beads every day when I came back, and I bought some more when I went to work in other places. I bought a lot." He said, "I hope you can see it one day." I picked up a glass bead and put it under the light. There was a jagged grass in the crystal glass bead. "What kind of grass is this?" I asked Wen Zhi.

"I bought this in England, and it has yarrow hidden in it." "Yarrow?" "In Europe in September, there are wild flowers everywhere. In the twilight, people like to lean over and pick a few white flowers from yarrow on the way home, and take them back and hide them under their pillows. A British folk song said: "There is a legend that if you say goodbye to yarrow three times, you can meet the person you like again." He smiled and said, "I tried it, and it really works." "Come and take a look." He took me to one of the rooms, where the sewing machine and other things I kept in Liangmae's house were all there.

"Whose house does this belong to?" I couldn't help asking him. "I bought it last year. I hope you can come back one day." "How did you know I'd be back?" I asked him choked up. "I didn't know you would come back. I thought you would never come back. You said that the minute hand was going backwards, and you would come back." I took out the floating dust clock in my pocket and adjusted it by hand to make the minute hand run backwards. "Am I kidding myself?" I asked him. "No." He hugged me tightly, and once again, I leaned against his shoulder, reliving the long-lost warmth.A small white flower seemed to bloom on his shoulder, as long as I say goodbye to it three times, I can meet my lover again.

"Would you like to live here?" he asked me, "to stop wandering around." "Didn't you say that you hope that the clothes I design can be bought in twelve countries?" "It can be done in Hong Kong." I rubbed his face, hair, nose, lips, ears and neck with my hands. "What are you doing?" He asked me with a smile. Yang Hongnian said, you have to trust the feeling of your hands.I could feel that I loved this man, and I couldn't keep my hands off his face. He grabbed my hand and asked me, "Are you okay?" "I love touching you like this," I said. "You have more bags under your eyes than before." He smiled wryly. "Will you marry me?" he said hugging me. I shake my head. "Why?" he asked me disappointed. "None of this is quite real and it takes me a little time to believe it." Perhaps, every woman hopes to have a Yang Hongnian and a Xu Wenzhi in her life. One is an untouchable man, and the other is down to earth.One is hurt by you and suffers for you, the other breaks your heart.One is only suitable to be a lover, but the other can stay together forever.One is fire, which burns life, and the other is water, which nourishes life.A woman can live without fire, but not without water. On the second day after I came back, I met Liangmei.She has changed a lot.A person, the first thing to change is often the eyes.Her eyes used to be clear and carefree, but today, they are filled with sadness. "Because I had a boyfriend who refused to grow up," she said. "How are you with that lawyer?" "Break up." She said sadly. "why?" "He doesn't love me at all." "Do you love him?" She smiled wryly and shook her head: "When lust is exhausted, we no longer need each other, and it will end naturally. There is only love, and there is no end." "You still love Xiong Bi." She shook her head: "I can definitely find someone better than him." I laughed. "What are you laughing at?" she asked me. "Maybe every woman has a Xiong Bi helplessly by her side. It's not that you don't have feelings for him, it's not that you haven't thought about marrying him, but he doesn't seem to be the best. Find someone better than him, as if this is the only way to live. Time goes by, and looking back, he is still the only one—" "Didn't I say that he is the pillow I'm used to? It's always good to use him to cushion me." "I really can't believe he doesn't know anything. Can't he see a clue?" "His laboratory is his world. Forget about him, what are your plans?" "I want to open my own fashion store. But I don't have too much money, so maybe I can only find a two- to three-hundred-square-foot shop in a shopping mall and sell my own designs." "I have a client who owns several shopping malls in Tsim Sha Tsui. Let me find a place for you, and I can ask him to make the rent cheaper." "Really? Thank you." "You don't have to worry about the clientele. There are many female lawyers in the lawyer's association who are my friends, and there are also many rich ladies in the women's association. They often go to dances and need someone to design evening clothes." "Your network is amazing!" "I can't help it. Anyway, I have to entertain those women. Their husbands are all my clients and bosses. These people can afford money, but they are very picky. I think the berth you choose can't be too bad." "Ok." "I also have some friends in the public relations and journalism circles. I can ask them to help me promote it. In Hong Kong, publicity is very important." "You seem to be my manager." I said with a smile. "Okay! All you follow are famous teachers, and I'm not worried at all about your lack of business." "It seems that I should find you as a partner." "I just want to wear your designs for free for the rest of my life," she said with a smile. Leung Mae found me a berth in a shopping mall adjacent to the hotel in Tsim Sha Tsui.I hired a girl to be a salesperson.In addition to designing evening wear for others, the store only sells my designs. When Wenzhi is free, he takes fabrics, delivers goods, and keeps accounts for me.In order to facilitate the transportation of cloth, he sold the locomotive and replaced it with a small car. The four years since our return from New York were the happiest of our lives.I am an unorganized person, and things in the house are scattered, but he is an orderly person. Although he often quarrels because of this, it makes me believe that he is the one who stays with me, and he is the only one who can take care of me. The business of the boutique was very good. In early 1995, we moved to a shop five times larger than the original one in the shopping mall. We also hired several new staff and a professional accountant. Wenzhi no longer needed to spend time helping me. Because I designed evening wear for some famous ladies, they often mentioned me to the media, I gained a little popularity, but I also gave up making evening wear for others, I really don’t like that kind of life, I hope my design can be worn on more people.The store started selling ready-made clothes. Wenzhi's situation is somewhat different.Fang Weizhi left the TV station to set up his own public relations company. He invited Wenzhi to partner, but Wenzhi still liked being a news editor, so he refused. In mid-September, a new newspaper with huge financial resources began preparations and invited him to become its editor-in-chief at twice his current salary.The TV station tried to keep him, but only raised his salary by 50%, Wenzhi still stayed. "Why don't you leave? This is a good opportunity, twice your monthly salary." I said. "I would look down on myself when I made a decision solely for money," he said. "Even if it's not for money, you should go out and venture out. You have been in the TV station for so many years." I advised him. "It's because of so many years that I have feelings." He insisted. I don't persuade him anymore, I know he won't change, he is a person who values ​​affection, sometimes I will complain that he is too affectionate, but this kind of man is the most reliable. As a result, one of his classmates became the editor-in-chief of that newspaper. After the newspaper was launched, it was an unprecedented success. The supervisor who kept Wen Zhi at the TV station back then sadly retired due to power struggle.The new supervisor doesn't get along well with Wen Zhi, and he also has his own cronies. On his bad days, I was going to Japan for my first fashion show.This time, it was organized by the Hong Kong Trade Development Council. It is a very rare opportunity for me to become one of the representative fashion designers in Hong Kong and to promote my designs in Japan. That morning, Wenzhi drove me to the airport, and he didn't speak much. "When I arrive in Japan, I'll call you back." "Concentrate on your work and don't get distracted. This show is very important. It is the first time you hold a fashion show outside Hong Kong." I caress his face. "What's the matter?" he asked me. "If you're not happy at work, quit your job." "I have many reasons to leave, and there are many reasons to stay. Once I leave, the reporters in my group will have a more difficult life. If I am here, I will fight to the end." "I'll call you." Before boarding the plane, I hurriedly kissed him goodbye. In Tokyo, my designs received good reviews and received a batch of orders. When I got back to the hotel, I immediately called Wenzhi to tell him the good news. "Congratulations," he said. He spoke very slowly, as if drunk. "Are you okay?" I asked him. "fine." "I am worried about you--" He laughed: "Fool, I have always been worried about you—" "Then why are you drinking?" "Because you're not with me—" "I'll be back soon." I coaxed him like a child. "Dragonfly, will you marry me? I'm afraid you will leave me." He said affectionately. "Why would I leave you?" He was silent. "I won't unless you want me to go—" This man I love deeply has never been as fragile as a child like this night, and I really start to worry about him. After returning from Japan, he didn't propose to me again.If I had married him at that time and lived the happy life I had imagined, maybe we would never be separated from now on. On that day, Fang Weizhi's public relations company was happy to move, and Wen Zhi and I attended the reception together. Fang Weizhi's business is doing very well, and I just need a public relations company to promote and act as my consultant for me. It is logical that I also become their client. "Look!" Fang Weizhi showed me a local women's magazine that I made the cover of, "It was just published today, and the photos are very good." "That's right," Gao Yiya said, "They say you are the most beautiful local fashion designer." "Your girlfriend is a celebrity now!" Fang Weizhi teased Wen Zhi, "I will keep her under surveillance in the future, and don't let other people snatch her away." Wenzhi looked at me and smiled. If I really succeed, how can his credit be buried?Without love, without his encouragement, I can do nothing. On this day, I also saw Xiong Bi.He is not used to this kind of scene, Liangmei greets friends everywhere, but he stands in a corner and eats by himself. "What's the matter? Scientist." I teased him. "Congratulations, Liangmei said that your development is very good." He said modestly. "It's all thanks to her helping me a lot, and her development is also very good." "She's a very bright girl—" I don't know why, but I think his expression was sad when he said this. "You and Liangmei have been together for ten years, right?" "She often said that I haven't grown up in ten years." "Isn't that great? At least not old. We struggle outside every day, we age quickly, and we really don't want to grow up." "Growing up is very painful." He said quietly. "What are you talking about?" Liangmei came over and asked us. Xiong Bi gently put his hand on her shoulder, and she leaned against him.Yes, he was her pillow, not of feathers, not of cotton, but of tea.This kind of pillow will never age and does not need to be replaced. After being used for a long time, it loses the fragrance of tea leaves. As long as it is placed in the sun and dried in the sun, the fragrance of tea leaves can be smelled again.Liangmei had just told me the day before that a man in the advertising industry was wooing her passionately. "Didn't you say you were going back to the meeting?" Liangmei asked him. He looked at his watch: "Yes, I'm leaving." "Goodbye." He smiled and waved to me gently, like a child. "Your tea pillow is gone." I teased Liang Mae. Wenzhi is not my tea pillow, he is the bed I sleep on all my life. At this moment, Wenzhi stood alone in a corner, like an outsider. "If Wenzhi left the TV station with my brother that day, maybe it would be better than now." Liangmei said. "He's fine now, too, and he likes the job." I immediately defended him. "The man reporting the news is very handsome!" Gao Yiya said to Wen Zhi. "Yes, I heard that the artist department also asked him to audition." Wenzhi said. "I still like to watch Wenzhi report the news. What's the use of being handsome?" Fang Weizhi put his arm on Wenzhi's shoulder and said, "The most important thing is to be credible." I looked at Wenzhi with a smile, he looked very disappointed in his smile. On the way home together, I asked him: "Do you regret some of the decisions you made?" "What decisions are you talking about? For you, I have no regrets." "I mean work." "No." He said that a man is always unable to let go of his dignity. Because of his dignity, he will not admit that he has made some wrong decisions in front of the closest people. However, he forgot, and I can always see his loss.His work in the TV station is not satisfactory, newcomers emerge, he loses the advantage of being alone, the more he does not leave a place, the more difficult it is for him to leave a place.Just like the less you leave a person, the harder it is to leave him. "You're always the best—" I said, shaking his hand. "Thank you." When I got home, I was busy tidying up. The 300-square-foot house was becoming more and more insufficient. "Shall we change to a bigger room?" "why?" "We have more and more stuff." "I don't have enough money." "I have it!" "You can't use your money." "why not?" "It's not possible anyway." "What does it matter whose money it is?" I argued with him. "Don't say any more," he insisted. A few days later, Liangmei called me and said: "I just went to see a house. It's in the middle of Wanchai. The environment is very good. I've decided to get one. I have another unit upstairs. Are you interested?" "Why are you buying a house?" "Live by yourself, and it can be used for investment. The area is not too big, about 900 square feet. You should also buy some property to preserve the value. The money will depreciate if you put it in the bank. Didn't you say that there is not enough space now?" "I discussed it with Wen Zhi, and he disagreed." "That house is really beautiful. It belongs to one of my clients. The decoration is very elegant. You must like it. If you buy one too, we are neighbors. Go and persuade Xu Wenzhi." "He won't say yes." "Then don't tell him, how about it? Property prices are rising every day now, so you have to make a quick decision." "Can I go and see it now?" "of course can." I went to see the house without telling Wenzhi, but I fell in love with it when I saw it. "You buy it first and then tell him." Liangmei said. I can move there in two months, and I have been thinking about how to tell Wenzhi.The more I procrastinate, the less I know what to say.Finally, on the eve of my departure to Paris for a small personal fashion show, I spoke to him. That night, he specially transferred his shift with his colleagues to accompany me to have dinner outside.Let's go for Indian food. The waitress brought another plate of happiness cakes. I took a piece, and the signature inside was: "Can people fly to the future?" I asked Wenzhi. "As long as a vehicle faster than the speed of light is invented, human beings can theoretically fly into the future." "There is simply no means of transportation faster than the speed of light." "But people must not be able to go back in time, the clock will not go backwards, except for you." He said with a smile. "You take a piece." I said. He took a piece, which was signed: "What does that mean?" I asked him. "Maybe we'll know in the future." He smiled wryly. "I have something to tell you, but don't be angry." "What's the matter?" He asked me with a smile. "You must first promise not to be angry." "Ok." "I bought a house." I said tremblingly. His face immediately sank. "Liangmei asked me to buy it. She bought another unit in the same building. The house is in the middle of Wan Chai, more than 900 square feet, with three rooms, very beautiful." "When did you buy it?" "More than a month ago—" "You're just telling me now?" he said angrily. "You promised not to be angry." "Are you going to move out by yourself?" "Moving with you, of course—" "I won't move there," he said emphatically. "Why? Why do you have to divide us?" "I know you make more money than me now, but I won't spend your money." "Why are you so stubborn?" I started to get angry. "Why haven't you thought about my feelings?" He took out a document from his briefcase and put it in front of me, "I just got a low-interest loan proposal from the personnel department today, let's see if it's okay. You can borrow money from the company for a bigger house, and you have already bought it yourself." I looked at the document and felt guilty. "You have taken a low-interest loan from the TV station, and you can't leave your job within a few years. People will look down on you. Would you rather do this than use my money?" I tried to persuade him. "The distance between us is getting farther and farther, and you no longer need me." He stood up and said sadly. "Who said that?" I choked up. "It's what reality tells me." He left me in the restaurant and I chased him out. "You don't keep your promise, you promised you won't be angry." "Let's break up." He said coldly. "What did you say?" I couldn't believe my ears. "You will have great achievements, and I will only hinder your development—" "No. Aren't you happy for me too?" "Yes, seeing you develop so well, I am very happy for you. You are the one I love, and I feel honored that you have achieved something. Sometimes, I even feel that I have made a little contribution." "You are the driving force behind everything I create, why don't you know me? I've always been proud of you." "If we are together again, I will only be a stumbling block for you. I am gone, and you don't have to care about my likes and dislikes in the future, and you can do what you like." "Do you really think so?" He nodded sadly. "I'm going to Paris tomorrow, can't you have a good talk with me?" "Sorry, I can not do it." He left me on the street. I went back to the empty house alone. Who am I coming back for that day? Who do I want to be famous for? But I actually lost him. I work hard so that I can live a splendid life and be worthy of him. I want to be better than his former woman.He couldn't understand what I did for him. It was dawn, and he hadn't come back yet. I was leaving in the afternoon, and he was so cruel not to come back to see me. I went to the airport with my luggage, hoping that he would come at the last minute, but I couldn't see him. I called back from Paris and no one answered at home.Once, wasn't I alone in Paris?At that time, I was thinking about him here. He made long-distance calls to comfort me who was frustrated. The gentle care and the reminders in my ears are still in my heart. Why don’t those days come back? After the fashion show in Paris, Cotillard, editor-in-chief of a local authoritative fashion magazine, suggested that I open a shop in Paris. "Can I?" I was flattered. "Several Japanese designers have opened stores in Paris, and your design is no less inferior to them. Of course, if you really plan to develop in Paris, you need to spend more time here." "let me consider it." "Can't let go of the business in Hong Kong? This is a good opportunity. Don't forget that this is Europe, and many people also want to open stores in Paris." "What can't be let go is not career, but people." I said. "Yes, those who can't let go are usually people. We let go of our dignity, our personality, and our stubbornness, all because we can't let go of one person." "It's only interesting to live if there is one person you can't let go of." I said. When I said this, I was not sure that I could be with Wenzhi again. Back from Paris, stepping out of the airport, I saw him shyly standing in a corner waiting for me.I rushed up and hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry." He whispered in my ear. "I thought you'd never talk to me again." "I can not do it." "Would you like to move there with me? If you don't go, I won't go either." He finally nodded. After moving to the new house, Liangmei lived downstairs from us, and Xiong Bi still lived in the faculty dormitory of the university, occasionally staying overnight at Liangmei's house.Liangmei is not always at home, she sometimes stays at Fu Chuanxiao's home.Fu Chuanxiao is the creative director of an advertising company. I have met him several times, and Liangmei seems to really fall in love with him.Fu Chuanxiao also has a girlfriend. I can't understand this kind of relationship between men and women. Since everyone loves each other, why don't they go back and end the original relationship?Why do you want to cheat and betray the one who loves you with guilt? "Because I love two completely different men. Didn't you also say that every woman should have a Yang Hongnian and a Xu Wenzhi in her life?" Liangmei said. "But I don't love them both at the same time." "There is no love without guilt. The greater the guilt, the deeper the love. Doesn't Xu Wenzhi's love for you carry guilt?" "Guilty does not necessarily mean love. Many men leave women with guilt." I said. "That's because his guilt towards the other person is deeper." "Why does Wen Zhi feel guilty towards me?" "He felt that he had tired you from wandering outside for several years. If he had been braver, if it hadn't been for the earthquake, you wouldn't have gone to New York alone as a girl. This is what he told his brother." That night, I specially cooked a dish of Italian lemon rice for Wenzhi, which I learned in Italy. "Is it tasty?" "It's delicious." He ate with relish, "Why did you cook suddenly? Aren't you busy with work?" "Because I wanted to thank you—" "Why should you thank me?" "Thank you for loving me—" I hugged him from behind, "I don't know how to live without you." "Maybe live more freely—" "I do not want it." At this time, a letter came from the fax machine. "Could it be for me?" he asked. "I'll get it." The letter was faxed by Cotillard from Paris, and she asked me if I had considered opening a shop in Paris?She said she wanted to do an exclusive interview for me. "Whose is it?" Wen Zhi asked. "It's useless." I casually put the letter on the dining table, "I'll go to the kitchen to see if the lemon pie is ready?" "Are you going to open a shop in Paris?" he asked me with the fax. "I'm not going," I said. "It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity." "I don't have time—" I put the lemon pie on a plate, "go out for dessert." "Is it really because you don't have time?" "I don't want to leave you. Is this reason more sufficient?" I touched his face. "Don't sacrifice yourself for me again." "I didn't sacrifice." "Don't you really want to be famous?" "I'm already famous." "Being famous in Paris is different." "Even if you open a store there, you won't necessarily become famous. Isn't it already very good in Hong Kong?" He looked very unhappy. "I didn't sacrifice anything. Didn't I say I hate parting?" I hugged him, and put my face on his neck happily. "Didn't you also say that you don't want to be a coir raincoat insect, and that you can't live without a coir raincoat for the rest of your life?" "If you are that coir raincoat, I don't mind being a coir raincoat." He stroked my hair and said, "I don't want you to regret not doing something for me one day." "I won't." I said. One night in December 1996, when I was alone at home, Liangmei came to ring the doorbell. "Are you still asleep?" she asked me. "Not so early." "Let Xiong Bi know about me and Fu Chuanxiao." "Who told him?" "Someone ran into both of us." "Then what do you say?" "Of course I deny it." She said confidently. "Does he believe it?" "He seems to believe it. He is a man who refuses to grow up. He won't believe something that makes him sad." She smiled wryly. "How are you and Fu Chuanxiao?" "Everyone has no demands, no commitments, and no jealousy to everyone, so that's good, unlike you and Wen Zhi, who love like lemons." "What's like a lemon?" I was at a loss. "A lemon has 5% citric acid and 0.5% sugar. It's very sour and 100% sweet. Isn't it like love? Fu Chuanxiao and I are durians, people who like to eat durians, say It is the best, and those who don’t like it say it smells bad.” "What kind of fruit is Xiong Bi?" I asked her with a smile. "It's Orange. Although it has no personality, it has a sense of security." "Did you switch to selling fruit?" "You're half right. I'm busy with a grape lawsuit right now. The genuine grape merchant wants to sue the counterfeit grape." Liangmei left, I was thinking about what she said, "very sour, but a little sweet".When Wenzhi came back, I asked him: "If there are ten points in love, how much is sour and how much is sweet? Liangmei said it is very sour and one point is sweet, right?" "Without the very sourness, how can we know how sweet the little bit of sweetness is?" It turns out that we are all just pursuing that sweetness. We eat so much bitterness, just to taste a bit of sweetness.Only a fool would do that. The next day was the weekend. In the afternoon, Liangmei came to my house to decorate the Christmas tree together.Wenzhi called back from the TV station. "Is Liangmei here?" He asked me very solemnly. "She happens to be here, what's the matter?" "Something happened to Xiong Bi." "What's the matter?" Liangmei asked me. Xiong Bi was doing experiments in a university laboratory. A student in the next-door laboratory accidentally knocked over a bottle of poisonous gas. Xiong Bi ran to ask the students to avoid him. He was the last one to leave and inhaled a large amount of poisonous gas.He was still smiling when he boarded the ambulance by himself, and after being taken to the hospital, he never woke up again.Doctors found his lungs were filled with acid gas and he could not be revived. Liangmei waited in the hospital for three days and three nights, and Xiong Bi left without opening his eyes and saying a word to her. The last time I saw Xiong Bi was at Fang Weizhi's company housewarming reception, where he stood in a corner sadly.He said quietly to me: "Growing up is very painful." Now he should feel happy, and he will never grow up again.Before leaving, he said goodbye to me.He waved to me gently like a child. Farewell became farewell.He never knew that the woman he loved had been betraying him.Betrayal is such a cruel thing. After the funeral, I stayed with her at Leong Mae's house.Fu Chuanxiao called several times, but she refused to answer.She is always in the living room and kitchen. "The grape merchant sent me a few boxes of greenhouse grapes, do you want to try them?" she asked me. I shake my head. After a while, she asked me again: "Would you like something to eat? I want to watch you eat." I barely ate a few grapes in front of her. After a while, she kept walking into the kitchen and washing her hands constantly. "Liangmei, don't do this again." I stopped her. "I lied to him the day before he left," she said sadly. "You didn't know he was going to have an accident." I reassured her. "Is he not coming back?" she asked me sadly. I don't know how to answer her. "I want to say sorry to him." "I heard that everyone has a star in the sky. If he dies, his star will fall. Next time you see a shooting star, just say sorry to the shooting star, and he will hear it." "If I could do it again, I wouldn't do this to him," she said tearfully. Why do we never treasure those who are with us right now?In the unpredictable reunion, we thought that we would always meet again, we would always meet again by fate, we always thought that we would have the opportunity to say sorry, but we never thought that every time we waved goodbye, it might be a farewell, and every sigh, might be the world One last sigh. I settled Liangmei to sleep well and went back to my own home. "What happened to her?" Wen Zhi asked me. I threw myself into his arms. "Shall we get married?" I asked him. He stared at me blankly. "Will you marry me?" I asked him tearfully. He gently wiped away the tears from my face and said: "How could I be willing to say no?" "We're going to buy rings tomorrow." I said happily. The next day, we went to Tiffany's jewelry store to buy wedding rings. I chose a pair of white gold rings. "Is this okay?" I put the ring on my left ring finger and asked Wenzhi. "You like it," he said. "Try it too." I put the ring on his ring finger. "Do you have our size?" I asked the salesman. "Sorry, the sizes of the two are more popular, and they are temporarily out of stock." She said. "When will it be?" I asked. "If you order now, it will take three months." "Three months?" I froze for a moment, "Didn't it come here by air?" "That's right, it's shipped by air, but the rings are cast only when customers order them. All the 'Tiffany's' from all over the world are cast in the United States, so you have to wait. You know, many girls only want 'Tiffany's'." Wedding ring." "Really have to wait three months?" I asked. "Have the two of you already decided on a wedding date?" "Not yet." Wenzhi said. "Do you want to go somewhere else?" I asked Wen Zhi, "Three months is too long." "Do you like this ring?" he asked me. I looked at the ring on my hand and was really reluctant to take it off.When I was in school, I longed for a "Tiffany" wedding ring in the future. "Since you like it, just wait for three months." Wen Zhi said. "That's right, wedding rings are meant to be worn for a lifetime, anyway, the two of you are not in a rush to get married," said the salesperson. "You can order for us." Wenzhi said. "Thank you, Mr. Xu. Who should I notify when the ring arrives?" "Notify me." I said. The salesperson gave us a receipt. "The ring came and could be engraved," she said. 我珍之重之把单据藏在钱包里。 三个月，太漫长了。我紧紧握着文治的手，走在熙来攘往的街上，三个月后，会一切如旧吗？ “我们是不是应该到别处买戒指？”我再三问他。 “你担心什么？”他笑着问我。 “我想快点嫁给你。” “都那么多年了，三个月就不能等吗？”他笑我。 我们不也曾三番四次给时间播弄吗？却再一次将爱情交给时间。 第二天回到办公室，我把未来三个月要到外地的活动全部取消。我要留在文治身边。 一天，他喜孜孜地告诉我，他和一个朋友正在做一宗把推土机卖到国内的生意。 “国内修筑公路，需要大量的推土机，但是省政府没有足够的钱买新的机器，马来西亚的瑞士制旧推土机，经过翻新之后，性能仍然很好，达到新机的七成水准，价钱却只是新机的三成。我们就把这些推土机卖给公路局，一来可以帮助国家建设，二来可以赚钱，利润很不错。”他踌躇满志地告诉我他的大计。 “你那个朋友是什么人？” “他是做中国贸易的，是我中学的同学，我们偶然在街上碰到，他跟我提起这件事，他原来的伙伴因为不够钱而退出，但是马来西亚那边已谈好了，现在就要付钱。” “他为什么要找你合作？” “他的资金不够，我们要先付钱买下那批翻新了的推土机，所以他要找人合作。我是记者，又曾经到国内采访，他觉得我可靠，我们过两天就会上去跟公路局的人见面。” “你这个同学靠得住吗？” “我们中学时很谈得来的，你以为我会被人骗倒吗？” “当然不会，但你毕竟很多年没见过他——” “我和他一起去见公路局的人，还有假的吗？” “你为什么忽然会有做生意的念头？你从前不是不喜欢做生意的吗？” “这是很有意义的生意。”他拍拍我的头说，“放心吧。” “要投资多少？” “不需要很多。”他轻松地说，我看得出他投资了很多，为了不想我担心，故意装着很轻松。 我总是觉得他过份乐观。他这个人太善良了，根本不适合做生意。 良湄日渐复原过来，为免刺激她，我和文治决定暂时不把结婚的事告诉她，况且我们根本没打算大事庆祝。 那天，她心情比较好，我陪她到中环那间印度餐厅吃午饭。 “你还有见傅传孝吗？”我问她。 “偶然也有见面，别误会，我们现在是朋友，不是以前那一种，事实上，也不可能像以前那样。我一直以为熊弼是个拒绝长大的男人，实际上，他是个勇敢的人，他在那个关头，仍然愿意最后一个离开。我怎么可能爱上其它人呢？最好的那个就在我身边。” “我们总是过后才知道。”我说。 饭后，女侍应送来一盘幸福饼。 “你要一块吧，我不敢要。”良湄说。 我拿起一块幸福饼，剥成两瓣，取出签语。 “写些什么？”良湄问我。 签语上写的是： “离别了，不一定会重逢。”良湄说。 我要跟谁离别，又跟谁重逢？ 跟良湄分手之后，我到超级市场买酒，还有二十天就是三个月了，我要买一瓶酒留待拿结婚戒指的那天跟文治一起庆祝。 在那里，我见到杨弘念，我们离别了又重逢，原来签语上说的，就是他。许多年不见了，他沧桑了很多。这几年来，他也在洛杉矶和加拿大那边发展。 “你什么时候回来的？”我首先开腔。 他手上捧着几瓶白酒，说：“回来一个多月了。” “哦。什么时候改变口味的？那边有'天国蜜桃'。” “我现在什么都喜欢尝试，近来爱上这个。” “是这样——” “听说你要结婚。” “你怎么知道？”我惊讶。 “有人看到你去买结婚戒指。你忘了你现在是名女人吗？年轻、漂亮，是时装界的神话，很多人认得你。” “是的，我快要结婚了。” “是不是嫁给那个新闻播报员？” 我点头，问他：“你近来好吗？” “怎可能跟你比较，你是如日中天。” “没有你，也没有我。”我由衷地说。 “只有人记得周蜻蜓，怎会有人记得她是杨弘念的徒弟？”他笑得很苦涩。 “你教了我很多东西。” “你很幸运，我真妒忌你。” “我很努力，你不是说过我会很好的吗？” “我没想到你可以去到这个境界。”他眼里充满了忌恨。 我从没想过他会妒忌我，妒忌得如此苦涩。他从前的高傲，彷佛一去不回。我曾经以为，他深深地爱着我，难道那一切都是假的吗？抑或，他对我的爱，从来也是出于妒意，因为想占有，因为想控制，所以自己首先失控。那个红玫瑰和夜莺的故事，不过是一个他自我催眠的故事。 "Goodbye," he said. "Goodbye." I told him. 我不想再见到他。 那天晚上，我幸福地睡在文治身边，紧握着他的手，那样我觉得很安全。文治却在床上辗转反侧。 “有什么事吗？”我问他。 “没事。”他说。 “是不是那批推土机出了什么问题？” “那批机器没问题。”他说。 接着那几天，他总是愁眉深锁。 那天晚上，良湄走来找我。 “文治不在吗？”她问。 “还没有回来，我刚好想找人陪我吃饭，你有空吗？” “我有件事要告诉你——”她凝重地说，“关于文治的。” "What's up?" “外面有人说他卖一些不能用我推土机到国内，欺骗省政府的金钱。” “谁说的？” “是电视台新闻部的人传出来的。有记者上去采访别的新闻，公路局的干部告诉他，文治跟他的朋友把一些只有两成功能，完全不合规格的推土机卖给他们，那个干部认得文治是香港记者。听说他们已经扣起打算用来买推土机的钱。” 到了晚上，文治回来。I asked him: “推土机的生意是不是出了问题？” "Who did you hear that from?" “无论外面的人怎样说，我只会相信你。” “那就不要问。” “但是我关心你，外面有些传言——” “是吗？你已经听到了。” “我不相信你会欺骗别人。” 他突然惨笑：“是我被人欺骗了！怎么样？那些马来西亚的推土机根本不能用，他骗我说有原来的七成性能。明明已经用了五年，他骗我说只用了两年。” “现在怎么办？” “同行都知道我卖没用的推土机欺骗同胞——”他沮丧地坐在椅子上。 “你应该澄清一下。” “有什么她澄清的？”他伤心地说，“我根本就是个笨蛋，我竟然笨到相信一个十多年没见的人，什么卖推土机帮助国家，我连这种骗术都看不出来！” “那是因为你太相信朋友。”我安慰他。 “不，那是因为我贪心！我想赚大钱。我想放手一搏，不想一辈子待在电视台里！我不想别人说我女朋友的名气比我大，赚钱比我多！我害怕失去你。我是不是很幼稚？”他哽咽。 我走上前去，抱着他：“你为什么会这样想？我们都快结婚了。” “这是现实。”他含泪说。 我替他抹去眼角的泪水：“我们做的根本是两种不同的工作，我从来没有这样想。你知道我多么害怕失去你吗？” 我轻轻抚摸他的脸、眼睛、鼻子和嘴唇，“我喜欢这样抚摸你，永远也不会厌倦。” 他紧紧地抱着我，我坐在他大腿上，轻轻用鼻子去揉他的脖子。罪魁祸首也许不是那个卖推土机的骗子，而是我。他本来是个出色而自信的人，因为爱我，却毁了自己。我的眼泪不由自主地滴在他的肩膊上。 “对不起，我不能够跟你结婚。”他说。 “为什么？”我愣住。 “我们所走的路根本不一样——”他难过地说。 “不会的。”我抱着他不肯放手。 “你还记得幸福饼里的签语吗？是的，年少时候的梦想和憧憬，我已经忘了，我现在是个俗不可耐，充满自卑的男人。” “不，你不是。” 他拉开我的手，站起来说： “别这样。” “我爱你。”我不肯放手。 “我也爱你。” “那为什么要分开？”我哭着问他。 “因为用十分的酸来换一分的甜是不能天长地久的。” "I do not understand." “你明白的，只是你不肯接受。没有了我，你会更精采、更成功。” “没有了你，成功有什么意思？我不要成功！我们可以像从前一样，我们以前不是很开心的吗？”我哀哀地说。 “人也许能飞向未来，却不可能回到过去。你忘记了那句签语吗？幸福饼的签语是很灵验的。”他凄然说。 “我们那么艰苦才能够走在一起，不可能分开的，我不甘心！” "Sorry." 他收拾东西离开，临行前，深深地吻了我一下，说：“祝你永远不要悲伤。” 他走了，真的不再回来。 那年我在伦敦买给他的花仙子银相框，依然放在案头上。上面镶着一张我的照片、一张他的照片，还有那张我们儿时在公园里偶尔相遇的照片。 When leaves are scattered, you know how to get together. 花谢的时候，你明白青春。 九七年三月，我们分手了。 十多天后，“蒂芬妮”珠宝店通知我，我们要的那一对结婚戒指已经送来了，随时可以去拿。 我独个儿去领回戒指。 “要刻字吗？”女售货员问我。 "No." 难道我不知道这戒指是为谁而买的吗？ 我早就说过，三个月太久。 我把两枚戒指都戴在身上，我自己的那一枚，套在左手无名指上，他的那一枚，我用一条项链挂在脖子上。 我没有找他。他曾给我最好的爱，也因此，我不敢再要他为我而毁了自己。 他申请长驻北京工作，我只能偶尔在新闻里看到他。 不合理的联系汇率维持了十四年，依然没有改变，我们的爱情，却已经变了。 他不在，我孤身走遍世界，为了那所谓的成名奋斗。 九七年五月，暮色苍茫的夏天，我从纽约回来，跟良湄在中环那间印度餐厅吃饭。 “他步上救护车的时候还在微笑，下一刻却不再醒来，他这样突然地离开，我怎可以忘记他？十年后，二十年后，也不可能。我只能忘记他所有的缺点。” I laughed. “你笑什么？”她问我。 “令爱永恒的，竟是别离。”我说。 “是的，唯一可以战胜光阴的，就是回忆。” 末了，女侍应送来一盘幸福饼。 “随便拿一块，看看你的运程。”侍应殷勤地说。 “我不敢要，你要吧。”良湄说。 我随手拿了一块幸福饼，取出里面的签语纸。纸上写着： 六月份在香港的个人时装展上，我用数千颗玻璃珠做了一件晚装，穿在模特儿身上，成为该天的焦点。在璀璨灯光下的玻璃珠，像一颗颗晶莹的眼泪，这是一袭离别的衣裳。 九七年六月三十日晚上，一个新的时代降临，整天下着滂沱大雨，是我们相识的那场雨，我穿著那件柠檬黄色的雨衣，一个人走在时代广场外面。偌大的电视屏幕上，播出了离别之歌。 “离别本来就是人类共通的无奈。”我听到文治的声音说。 蓦然回首，他在电视屏幕上，人在北京。 他依然是那样沉实而敦厚，使人义无反顾地相信。 如果可以从头来过，我依然愿意用十分的酸来换那一分的甜。 只是，人能够飞向未来，却不能回到过去。 离别了我，他也许活得更好。我们努力活得灿烂，期望对方会知道。在未可预知的重逢里，我们为那一刻作好准备。 “记者徐文治在北京的报导。”他殷殷地说。 “祝你永远不要悲伤。”我彷佛听到他这样说。三月里的幸福饼，我们一起吃的第一块幸福饼，不是这样说的吗？ 电视画面消去，我想留也留不住。 广场上，只有我，孤零零一个人，看着国旗升降，他曾送给我十二颗藏着国旗的玻璃珠，祝愿我成功。如果成功的代价是失去了他，我不愿成功。 雨愈下愈大，我不舍得跟屏幕告别，然而，爱，是美在无法拥有。 走着的时候，脖子上的结婚戒指叮叮作响。谁又可以控制明天的雨？ 离开广场，我一个人，走到那家印度餐厅，等待那一盘幸福饼。 “随便抽一块，占卜你的运程。”女侍应微笑说。 我拿起一块幸福饼，只是，这一次，我不敢再看里面的签语。