In the summer when I was sixteen, I was in a period of little rebellion, and I had been using notes to communicate with my mother for almost a month.Before going to work, she left the note "I won't come back for dinner today, go eat by myself" and the meal money on the dining table for me.Before I went to bed, I left a note saying "Tomorrow I will buy a reference book, give me the money".We have also tried to get angry before, not talking to each other, only communicating with notes, this situation sometimes lasted for several days, and never seemed to exceed a week in my impression.

The mother who gave birth to me at the age of nineteen is the manager of a cosmetics store. Although she is not considered a beauty, she will immediately look beautiful with a little makeup.She has bright black eyes and shoulder-length straight hair. She has fair skin and looks several years younger than her real age.Although she is petite, she has flesh wherever she should.She always teases me and says: "You don't seem to have my inheritance in this regard." The guests are all envious of her good figure, and there are countless breast enhancement creams recommended by her, but she never uses them herself.

When she came home from get off work, she looked different.At home, she wore those sets of pajamas when she came and went, and there were often food stains on her chest that couldn't be washed off.Her hair was not combed, and the top of her head was pinned up with a large barrette so that it would not cover her eyes. Although she works in a cosmetics store, she doesn't like beauty at all. She only puts on a mask on a whim, and sometimes slips into bed without washing her face. She is completely different from the one who works hard. If she was at home on vacation, she would be like a big lazy cat, occupying the wide light green sofa all day long, watching TV while eating, or drooling in her sleep.If I am unlucky enough to be at home, she loves to make me do this and that.

"Vinny, I want to eat ice cream, you can get it from the refrigerator for me!" "Vinny, it seems a bit cold, bring me a blanket!" "This show is boring, Vinnie, turn it on for me!" "Isn't there a remote control?" I protested. "I don't know where to put it!" She is not very good at being a mother, and she only has conscience to cook a very unpalatable meal every few months.When I was in the third year of primary school, most of the students in the class brought meals.That year, she had just divorced her father and took me alone.

Because she was worried about my low self-esteem, she went to the restaurant to buy ready-made delicious meals every day, and then put them in a lunch box for me to take to school, which looked like they were made at home.Therefore, at lunch, my food is the most delicious in the class, and it is also the best in the class. Those students who are tired of eating ※※※ meals are drooling at my lunch, and I am happy to exchange with them.As a result, I ate home-cooked meals every day instead. My mother and I like to visit a Shanghai snack bar near our apartment on weekdays. The owner is a couple. There are delicious dumplings fried on the iron plate at the door.Mom often gives the proprietress some free samples of skin care products, so the proprietress is very kind to us and will cook some special dishes for us.If you get tired of Shanghainese food, there are a few snack bars nearby, a takeaway pizza place and a bakery that often smells of baking.

The small two-room apartment we lived in was the property my mother got when she got divorced.This pale pink concrete house has five floors, and there are several steps at the door.We live on the third floor.I have lived here since I was born. The oleander tree across the street used to be only one story tall, but it has grown to the same level as ours and has grown many horizontal branches. There is a small park near the apartment with many flowers planted.In the park, there is a small round granite fountain bubbling at the top and a row of green swings.As a kid I used to fall off a swing, do a 360 somersault like a gymnast, eat a mouthful of dirt, and scare my mom to death.At that time, my mother loved to rent a novel from the bookstore across the street from the park and read it while leaning on a bench in the park, allowing me to play with other children.She is a fan of novels, and loves to read daydream romance novels, and her taste has not changed until she was thirty.

The book-rental store was run by Miss Gloves. The gloves of "Miss Gloves" are not worn on the hands.She looked a little older than my mother, and she always wore short hair with bangs on her shoulders, and she always wore black clothes.In winter, she likes to put a pair of gloves on her head as a headgear.Her gloves came in every color: red, green, purple, and lay limply on her head. "Miss Gloves" seldom speaks. If she is not sitting at the counter reading a book, she is hiding in a room behind the counter, not knowing what she is busy with.Her store is never closed, there are many kinds of books, and there are often new books.I love renting comic books there.There is a big long-haired female big white cat in the store. She always likes to sleep in the pile of books, and from time to time, she puts plum blossom-shaped palm prints on the book covers.She seems to have endless hair, which makes the books often stick to her hair. My mother and I privately called the bookstore "Cat Hair Bookstore", and named the cat "White-haired Witch" by the way. .

That summer, my mother and I had a cold war for nearly a month, which also started with a book rented from "Mao Mao Bookstore".That night, I was in my room doing my damn summer homework.I'm a math idiot and try to skip school for every math test.I really don't understand, if a person doesn't intend to become a math teacher or a mathematician, is it necessary to know so much besides addition, subtraction, multiplication and division? For example, this question: A young circus troupe leader with sixty fur seals was about to cross the river by boat.The boatman is a smart and beautiful girl.She told the class leader that the fee she charged for crossing the river was half of the number of fur seals crossing the river.So, how many fur seals should the circus troupe owner bring on board?How many fur seals should be left as a reward for the boatman?

Since it is a fur seal, can't everyone swim there by themselves?Why even take a boat?What does it matter if the boatman is handsome or not, whether he is a man or a woman? At this moment, my mother, who was in the next room, came to my room with a book, leaned against the door, and said to me with wet eyes: "Vinnie! The ending of this book is very touching! The heroine is sick. He was dying of blood cancer. The hero was suffering from a rare amnesia at this time. This disease would forget the past day by day. When the heroine died, he no longer remembered who she was..." "I don't feel touched, what an idiot!" I interrupted her.

She paused for a moment, and I bowed my head in pain, thinking how many fur seals should I throw on the boat.So, I didn't see the expression on her face.Suddenly, her tone changed, and she said embarrassingly: "You always thought that Zheng He was smarter than me." Zheng He is not a Ming Dynasty eunuch, but my father's name.His original name was Zheng Weihe, but his friends called him Zheng He. Whenever my mother is angry, she likes to call him by his first and last name.Even after their divorce, this habit has not changed. "Of course I'm going to marry a man who's smarter than me," she said.

I don't bother to explain that by idiot I don't mean her, but the ending of the book, and the sea dog question.However, the word "idiot" stung her.My father's later girlfriend was originally his first love. Back then, she broke up with my father because she was going to study abroad.After my father got married, she came back from a foreign country. The first-time lovers didn't meet until a few years later, and they soon rekindled their love.That woman is said to be a smart, independent and capable career woman.My mother was very bothered about this.My mother is only a high school graduate. "Look at you!" Mom pointed at me, her tone became a little bitter, and asked me, "When did you make your hair look like this?" I've had my hair done for days and she just hasn't said anything.At that time, I was very fascinated by Xu Lu.Xu Lu was a very popular singer at the time. In addition to singing well, she was also a trend indicator.She is very good at dressing, avant-garde and tasteful.At that time, she had just permed and dyed her short hair black, and each hair was like a small curly hair, which was deliberately fluffy and dry, which was very beautiful.I went to the barber's and asked for that hairstyle.I didn't show Xu Lu's photo in the magazine to my barber, that would be too embarrassing.I'm just trying my best to describe that curly hair.In the end, I don’t know if it was because my words didn’t convey the meaning, or because he had a problem with his understanding. My “Xu Lutou” looked like a bag of dried vegetables. "You look like Shakyamuni!" my mother said more and more bitterly.She's always been very unsportsmanlike in fights, and when we fight over that book, she always ends up getting into other issues. "You have never seen Sakyamuni." I retorted. "I'll ask him when I see him!" "His hair is not that long." "You should study hard, why go to get a Sakyamuni head?" "I was doing my homework just now, and you came to harass me." "You're still painting your nails!" She glanced at me, looking displeased. That is also the trend led by Xu Lu.She likes to cut her fingernails short, and just dab a little color on each nail, so that it looks like the original nail polish has faded. I bit my finger and said angrily: "It doesn't affect my homework." Except for mathematics, I have always done well in reading, and she can't fault me ​​in this regard. She seemed to be unable to think of what to say for a while, and went back to her room angrily.By the next day, she treated me like an invisible person, and started talking to me with notes, apparently in revenge for the word "idiot." We communicate on notes, we can live together, and we may not need to speak to each other at all. Except for the occasional feeling of loneliness, I quite like using notes instead of talking, at least she can't use notes to quarrel with me. It's okay to use notes to live your life, but you can't rely on notes for some more intimate matters. Leave a "My bra button is broken, buy me a new one." This kind of note is too intimate, a bit conciliatory or surrendering, and I would never write it.My mother always buys my bras for me.Because I refused to bow to her, as a result, for several days, I had to wear a bra that was still wet to school, and I felt itchy all day long.This kind of thing cannot be borrowed from others. Until one morning, my mother was home on vacation.I was brushing my teeth in the bathroom, when she passed the door of the bathroom, she stretched a little, and said to me nonchalantly: "Let's go out to eat." It turned out that she had just applied for a discount card for a certain restaurant. Two people only need to pay for one person's meal. If she didn't take me there, it would be a waste of money for that restaurant. Our cold war ended at the buffet that day.She kept talking to me like a faucet turned on.At that moment, God knows how much I missed the days of passing notes to each other. "I'm going to buy a bra," I said. "We'll go shopping together later." She said cheerfully, took a sip of the watermelon juice, and asked me again, "Is it thirty-two A?" "How can it be so small?" I protested. She smiled cheerfully, looked at my hair and said, "Is this Xu Lu's head? I want to get one too." I shook my head vigorously.I don't want her to look like a pair of sisters.I hate being like everyone else. My name is Zheng Weini, which is composed of one word each from my father and ※※※name.They were very affectionate back then.It is said that children born when parents are at their best are also smarter.At the age of sixteen, I was both self-admired and lacking in self-confidence, daydreaming all day long.Because I am an only child, I am used to being alone, but I long for friends.When I was young, I wished I was an orphan without a father or a mother, living in an orphanage, having a large group of friends to play with me, and living a happy life like a boarder.When I grew up a bit, I changed my mind. I wished I was a wealthy orphan. For example: My mother was a wealthy Greek ship queen who left me a large inheritance when she died.When I'm eighteen, I can spend that money as I like. After getting the inheritance, I will first travel around the world. On my bedroom wall is a colorful world map the size of four movie posters.This map has a history, a secret in my heart, maybe one day, I will tell this secret to someone, but not when I was sixteen. In short, this is a special map. The borders between countries do not have traditional black hard lines, but melted watercolors.There are sharks, whales, turtles and crabs in the ocean, and there is a treasure chest in a certain cave.Holland is marked with a windmill, Japan is a cherry blossom, Vienna is a violin, Austria is an antique crystal, Prague is a painting panel, France is a bottle of perfume, Italy is a boot-tip with a small piece of cheese, Australia is a koala, China is a A giant panda, Spain a silly pit bull, Switzerland a piece of chocolate, Greece a igloo. When I was sixteen, it was 1998. In that year, traveling to Harajuku in Japan was like a pilgrimage, and I was eager to go there one day.I have decided that I will be a flight attendant for five years after graduation, then I can fly everywhere and get cheap air tickets.Five years from now, it's not too late to think about other things. In order to save money for future trips, I work part-time at a Japanese cheesecake shop every Sunday and holiday. I soon discovered that on that meager hourly wage, I would probably only be able to travel on foot. A girl who works in the shop with me is named Aying.Ah Ying was an orphan at the same age as me, but she never lived in an orphanage. Instead, like a nomad, she took turns living with relatives.She is not a rich orphan who has to work and earn money while studying. One night, after the cake shop closed, Ah Ying and I dragged two bags of leftover cakes to the garbage station. As we walked, Ah Ying told me: "I often fantasize that on the day of my eighteenth birthday, a mysterious person suddenly appears and informs me that I have a large inheritance to inherit. It turns out that I am the illegitimate daughter of a rich man. This mysterious person is responsible for my death. Entrusted by my father, he has been trying to find me for eighteen years, but because I often move, he can't find me." "It's fine if it's true." I said, and asked her again, "What do you plan to do with the money after you have it?" "I haven't thought about it." She turned her head and asked me, "What if you have money?" "Around the world!" I said. "If I get the inheritance, I invite you to go." She said generously. "Okay!" I threw the bag of cakes into the trash can. "I might build a luxurious orphanage first." On the way back to the cake shop, Ah Ying said. "When my mother was studying, she worked as a volunteer in an orphanage for a month, reading story books to those children. She said that those boys and girls were very beautiful." I said. "That's right! The children there are usually born by beautiful ignorant girls and handsome rebellious boys, and then they don't want to." Aying said. Ah Ying is very good-looking, with a pair of beautiful phoenix eyes although a little cold and stubborn, and big and perfect breasts that don't match the cold eyes.I didn't ask Ah Ying if her parents were a handsome rebellious teenager and a beautiful ignorant girl, rather than a rich man and his lover. "I will train the orphans in the yard to be first-class thieves." Aying said. "Why a thief?" I asked her. "The orphan and the thief are a couple! It's so romantic!" said Aying, who was deeply poisoned by the movie. In reality, the beautiful orphan Ah Ying did not fall in love with the thief.A Ying's boyfriend Xiao Bi is three months older than her and is her primary school classmate.Later, he approached the United States to study design.I have never met Xiao Bi. Ah Ying said that he is the reincarnation of an owl and he doesn't like to sleep at night. "He draws really beautifully, though," she said.Ah Ying would occasionally talk about Xiao Bi with me. Besides Xiao Bi, she sometimes told me the story of the big bear.Da Xiong is her and Xiao Bi's elementary school classmate. "When we were in the sixth grade of elementary school, we took part in a school trip. That day, everyone was walking on the road beside the field, and Xiao Bi and Da Xiong walked in the front. Suddenly, a ox jumped out from nowhere and chased after him. Xiao Bi was wearing a bright red coat, and Xiao Bi ran away desperately, at a critical moment, Big Bear snatched the red coat from Xiao Bi's body and tied it to him, and the mad cow immediately turned around and chased him." One day, Ah Ying told me. "Wow—" I think such a silly boy is really rare in the world. "What happened next? Did the mad cow catch him?" I asked Ah Ying. A Ying shook his head and said, "Big Bear is the scud of our school! He is the champion of the 100-meter and 200-meter sprint in the sports meeting. His legs are very long. When he was only seven months old, his parents took him to participate in the first race. The five-time 'Provincial Hong Kong Cup Baby Crawling Competition'. That day, when the bell rang, he was the first to jump out, throwing other opponents far away, and finally won the first place." "You mean the fifth session?" I grabbed Ah Ying's arm. "It seems to be the fifth. What's the matter?" she asked me. "It's all right." I said. "He also broke the records of the previous four sessions. A newspaper named him as the 'Provincial and Hong Kong Odd Baby' in the news report on the second day!" "Big Bear must be a very cute boy, right?" I laughed, and asked Ah Ying, "Is Xiao Bi like this too?" "Xiao Bi has never been a cheerful and lively person." "Then when did you and Xiao Bi start?" "Just after that trip." "Why Xiao Bi? Isn't Big Bear braver?" "But Xiao Bi is more handsome! Besides, he seems to need to be taken care of." "Is the bear ugly?" "Of course not." Ah Ying frowned and said, "It's like saying, I like cakes, but he is a biscuit." After a pause, she said thoughtfully, "Maybe Big Bear once liked me." One Sunday, there was a winding line of people outside the cheesecake shop, and Aying and I were busy going around in the shop. She told me, "Big Bear was expelled from the school." "Why?" I asked as I stuffed a green tea cheesecake into a paper bag for a guest. "I heard that one night he and a classmate went to the school teacher's room to steal test questions. A male teacher caught him and caught him on the spot. The other man escaped." "Steal the test questions?" It has always been my dream to steal the test questions before every teaching test, so when I heard the heroic deeds of Big Bear stealing the test questions, I was very curious. "It seems that he didn't steal it to himself, but to another person, because what Big Bear stole was the math test questions. His math scores have always been very good, and he didn't seem to know the test questions in advance in the previous exams." "That's it, so he was fired?" "The school originally wanted to report the crime, but later, because the math teacher pleaded for him, he was just expelled, and—" Ah Ying showed a crooked smile. "And what?" "On the night when Daxiong went to steal the test questions, he ran into the male teacher and a female teacher in the dark teacher's room. They seemed to be doing some ambiguous things. The male teacher had a lipstick mark on his face. The principal wanted to avoid spreading There was a scandal, so it didn't make a big deal." "Does it have to be fired?" I asked Ah Ying. "I don't know why, but the principal seems to hate Big Bear very much." "The exam is about to take place in one year, what about Daxiong?" I was a little worried for him. "I heard from Xiao Bi that Big Bear hasn't found the school yet. It turns out that as long as he confesses to the person who escaped that night, he can stay. The principal gave him three weeks to think about it, but he still refused to say anything." "Could that person be his girlfriend, so he refused to confess?" Ah Ying and I reasonably moved out a plate of cheesecake that had just been baked. "Big Bear goes to an all-boys school, unless he is gay," Ah Ying said. After get off work that day, Ah Ying and I were both exhausted and paralyzed, and we said nothing when we parted.On the way home, I listened to Xu Lu's new song "My Boyfriend Likes Men" with headphones on.After hearing the stories about Daxiong, I thought, if he wasn't gay, he would be a hero with nothing to lose. At the end of August, the summer vacation was over, and I entered the fourth grade of middle school.Because I was used to lazily getting up after ten o'clock throughout the summer vacation, so on the first day of school, when I woke up from the bed, the alarm clock had already sounded half an hour ago.I hurriedly kicked off the quilt, jumped up to wash up, and put on a white shirt and light blue school skirt faster than firefighters put out the fire, and rushed to the street with my backpack. When I arrived at school, there were less than seven minutes left before the first class.I hurried to the bulletin board in the corridor to look at the roster.My name appeared on the list of Form 4 Class B.I raised my head and saw Zhiyi waving at me from far away.one two three four five six seven!I counted the floors in my heart, and the classroom was on the seventh floor.I almost passed out. Panting, I climbed the stairs and finally saw Zhiyi. "We are in the same class again!" I smiled happily at her. "Come on in!" she urged me. When I walked into the classroom, everyone had already selected their seats. Zhiyi sat in the second row, and there was already someone beside her. I am taller than her, and I never had a chance to sit with her except in the first year of middle school.So, I sat in the first row and the last row.I like to sit in the back row, far away from the teacher, and feel more free. I sat down and put my schoolbag under the table.There were thirty-eight numbers on the list just now, and every row of seats in the classroom is doubled, but I was left alone.The seat next to me was empty, and there should be one person who didn't come. Who is later than me?I somehow thought of Big Bear.Has he already found a school?Could it be my school. I kept looking at the door.At this time, the bell for the first class rang, and a boy walked in at the same time as the bell, and sat down next to me in a calm and unhurried manner.At this time, almost everyone in the class looked at me at the same time. Zhiyi opened her eyes wide and exchanged a surprised look with me. Sitting next to me is the little fat man Liu Xingyi.We used to be in the same class in middle school.He was so fat that his chins were piled up, and he would sweat profusely every time he took physical education class. When he walked, his thighs and cheeks on both sides crackled like a symphony.One day before the summer vacation of the third year of junior high school, I saw him in the chemistry laboratory. He was fatter than before, his eyes were wet, his hair was wet, and he was hiding there alone.I quietly turned on the air conditioner for him, and then closed the door. No one expected that after a summer vacation, he would bid farewell to the figure of a sumo wrestler. All the fat on his body disappeared, and he grew a lot taller all of a sudden, as if he had stepped on stilts.He has fair skin, and his facial features are not ugly. He is a very cute little fat man.After losing more than ten kilograms, there is only one chin left, and even the outline is beautiful. No matter how you look at it, you are a handsome boy. "Are you Liu Xingyi?" I was so shocked that I half opened my mouth and asked him... He nodded at me.The little fat man with lonely eyes and low self-esteem in the past has disappeared without a trace.Xingyi's smile was actually a little uninhibited. "Did you see that? What did he eat all summer?" Zhiyi and I sat next to the railing in the corridor on the seventh floor during the break, and she kept talking in my ear. However, I am not in the mood to chat.I was so sad.Before school started, I kept praying that the "dwarf" would not be my head teacher.Unexpectedly, when I was still in the shock of Liu Xingyi's slimming body, a bigger shock knocked me down--the "little man" walked into the classroom.Although he was not much taller than our desks, I still saw him as short and stumpy as he slowly crossed the first row of desks, and then suddenly emerged from the aisle between the third and fourth rows, With a "I've been feeling impatient all day!" And "I don't think life is very interesting!" The expression announced to us that he is our class teacher for this year. The "little man" lived up to his name, and no one has mentioned his real name.He is a math teacher, he taught me in the third year of middle school.Based on my math grades, he naturally wouldn't have a good impression of me. Chinese teachers, English teachers or physical education teachers usually have their own preferred students.However, a creature like a math teacher seems to have no feelings.The dwarf was no exception, he had no particular crush on anyone, he had no admirers, and no students would pester him to chat after recess or after school.When the school held a Christmas celebration, the students would boo and ask the teacher to play games, but no student had ever dared to invite the dwarf.No one knew if the dwarf, who seemed to be in his late forties, was married, but everyone was pretty sure that Snow White wouldn't be in love with him. By the end of the week, we knew which teacher was in charge of which subject.The one who teaches Chinese is "Lavender".He is about thirty years old.Among the male teachers, he is the best at dressing.He is very particular and will never wear the same outfit two days in a row.Even in summer, he must have a coat on him.He said that without a coat was like having no clothes.He loves purple so much, he almost always has purple on his body, and the rims of his eyes are also light purple, so we call him "Lavender".He looked a little pale and thin.Although there is often a smile on his face, his figure always seems to be a little melancholy. English is taught by "Tomb Raider Lola", who has taught us the previous year, or "Tomb Raider" for short.Her English name is Lara.In 1998, the online game "Tomb Raider Lola" was all the rage, and the sexy heroine in the game happened to be named Lara, so we all started calling her "Tomb Raider" behind my back. "Tomb Raider" doesn't wear as little as Lola in the game.She looks to be in her thirties, wears glasses with thick glass bottles, and has a bit of an odd temper, sometimes enthusiastic and sometimes cold.When she was in a good mood, she would treat us to chocolate and biscuits, and she even allowed us to eat while we were in class.She taught well, was learned and hardworking, and was often the last to leave school.Zhiyi's English is very good, so the tomb robbers treat her differently, often give her the most chocolates, and like to ask her to answer questions. Zhiyi is my best friend in school.Her right foot is a little shorter than her left foot, and she walks with a slight limp, which can't be seen at all if you don't pay close attention.Not in good health, she has a pale face and beautiful almond eyes. She sings well, plays the piano well, and is the soprano in the school choir.Everyone would think that she is as quiet as she looks, only when she is with me, she will talk a lot.She likes Xu Lu as much as I do.She is crazier than me, and the house is full of posters of Xu Lu.We have seen every concert of Xu Lu, but we did not attend the fan meeting, nor did we try to wait for Xu Lu. "Love separated by a little distance is more perfect." Zhiyi often quotes Xu Lu's famous saying. On Sunday, I work in a cheesecake shop.Ah Ying, like me, was promoted to the fourth grade of middle school.I told her about Xingyi. "What method does he use to lose weight?" Ah Ying asked curiously. "I didn't ask him. He didn't talk to me much. At that time, only the seat next to me was vacant. He seemed to have no choice but to sit with me." I said. Just then, I noticed a big foot wearing leather shoes appeared in the queue of people queuing up to buy cakes.The big foot strayed from the line and stomped on the ground, accidentally revealing the two-inch high heel. "It's a dwarf!" I quickly squatted down, hid behind the counter, pulled Ah Ying's sleeve and screamed in a low voice. "It's the head teacher you mentioned? Did you see that he's so short?" She tiptoed to see who was the dwarf in the class that I often talked about. "I saw his high heels." I whispered. "Oh, I saw it." Ah Ying said. I shrank at Ah Ying's feet. "A cheesecake." After a while, I heard the dwarf's voice outside the counter. "He's gone." Ah Ying patted my arm and said. I stood up, exhaled, and saw that the dwarf couldn't wait to open the cake box as soon as he turned around, tore a large piece of cake and stuffed it into his mouth, eating it with gusto, as if he had been hungry for a long time. "I must not let him know that I work here." I said. "Why? Does your school not allow students to work part-time?" Aying asked me. I looked at the back of the dwarf eating the cake and said, "If he suspects that I see him like this, he will definitely not give me a good life!" "He is very pitiful. He is so short, he must have been bullied by his classmates when he was young." A Ying said. In Ah Ying's eyes, it seems that every boy is as pitiful as an orphan. "Has Big Bear found the school?" I asked her. "There seems to be no news yet," she said. "Then what should I do? School is back." I said. A week later, Ah Ying and I met again at the cake shop. "It turns out that Big Bear has entered your school." She told me. "Which class?" I asked in surprise. "Same as you, I am in the fourth grade. I don't know which class it is. Do you have any new transfer students these days?" "What's the big bear's name?" I closed my eyes in fright. "Xiong Daping." "Oh! It's really him!" I screamed. "Have you seen him?" "Isn't the big bear you're talking about tall and strong like a bear man?" "'Big Bear' is his nickname! I haven't seen him for two years. I don't know if he's tall or strong. He's not short. I don't know if he continues to grow taller." "He has grown taller." I said. "What's going on?" Aying asked. "I don't like his hair," I said. The thing is, on Monday, the dwarf who came to the first class was followed by a boy who was a head taller than him. "Just sit behind the other vegetable head." The dwarf pointed at me. Everyone in the class laughed, and the tall, thin boy with a heavy backpack on his shoulder walked to the empty seat behind Xingyi and me with an embarrassed expression on his face.He actually permed "Xu Lu's head" like me, making me a laughing stock. "Why do boys perm their heads!" I said to Zhiyi in the bathroom during the break. "Maybe he is also a fan of Xu Lu." Zhiyi said. "I'm going to straighten my hair," I said, looking in the mirror in the bathroom. "He perms his hair? That's really strange. He has always been unkempt, and he doesn't like beauty. He doesn't look like the kind of boy who can perm his hair. There must be a reason for him to perm his hair like that!" Ah Ying showed disbelief expression. "Why do you look like that?" I stroked my hair and pouted. The big bear I saw with my own eyes has nothing to do with the heroic deeds I heard from Ah Ying.In those few days, I rarely turned my head to look at him, because seeing him was like seeing myself.Even Zhiyi said that if I hadn't been wearing a skirt, she would have mistaken the two of us. The big bear sitting behind me was very still, as if it didn't exist.He never asked questions and was an unremarkable person in class.Sometimes I would peek at him over my shoulder to see if he was asleep. Several times he really slept with his head on his head, and the other times he was secretly reading a book. He didn’t look like he was reading a book in class when he was intoxicated.He is already a fourth grader, but his handwriting is crooked, like a fifth grader.He was too lazy to be rude and almost never handed in his homework.When we were about to pass the lessons on to the front, he would just shrug sheepishly.At this time, Xingyi will hide it for him.They don't know when they became friends, and they often walk together when they are resting.Sitting next to and in front of them in class seemed redundant.Do boys of that age look down on girls? Big Bear, who doesn't do his homework, is good at math.The math test papers sent back are passed up from the first row, and I will see his scores every time.He gets 100 points every time.Sometimes the dwarf would ask him to go to the blackboard to do math problems, and he would finish it quietly, faster than anyone else. I saw a rare look of surprise on the dwarf's face. Ah Ying said that he didn't steal the math test papers for himself, which seems to be true.However, for other subjects, he was very reluctant. He was punished many times for not handing in homework, but he still refused to change.He even had the guts not to hand in the homework of the grave robber. One day, we were taking the class of the tomb robber. The tomb robber was in a particularly good mood that day and invited us to eat chocolate biscuits.Suddenly, someone from behind poked me with a finger.I turned my head, and it was Big Bear. He was poking me with his fingers, and there were still crumbs of biscuits sticking to his mouth. "Did you drop it?" He handed me back one of my student photos.That photo probably fell out of my schoolbag accidentally when I was holding something. "Thank you." "Your photo... can I have it?" He said shyly. I stayed for a while.At this time, the tomb robber was looking at me, and I hurriedly gave Daxiong the photo and sent him away. "Big Bear asked me for a photo." I told Zhiyi while having lunch at McDonald's. "What picture?" "Pictures of students. He picked them up on the ground." "Why is he here?" Zhiyi's eyes widened. "I don't know. If the grave robber hadn't just looked over, I wouldn't have given it to him." "Will he want to chase you?" Zhiyi asked while biting a hamburger. "No way?" I said, stroking my hair.I was going to straighten my hair, but I heard that if I try to straighten my hair after a short perm, it will only be dry and ugly, and it will really look like dried vegetables.I had to try to get another hairstyle every day, trying not to resemble Big Bear.It's all because of Big Bear.我每天早上对着镜子梳头的时候，不知道有多么恨他。 “你看看是谁？”芝仪突然很紧张地抓住我的手。 一个高挑的身影推开玻璃门缓缓走进来，我和芝仪都呆住了。我们没想到会在麦当劳见到徐璐。她一张素脸，顶着一头曲发，身上穿着小背心和一条破破烂烂的牛仔裤，很随便，却很有性格。 “没想到她也吃麦当劳呢。”芝仪兴奋地说。 徐璐跟一个同样穿破烂牛仔裤的漂亮男生一起，两个人很亲昵地在柜台前面排队。徐璐一只手勾住那个男生的裤头，淘气地把他摇来摇去，然后又甜甜地把头靠在他肩上。 他们买了汉堡包和薯条。许多人停下来看着他们，也许，大家对她的出现太震惊了，没来得及找她签名，只能巴巴地看着她一边潇洒地吃着薯条一边走出去，上了一辆在外面等着的车。 “那个男的是她新男友吧？看上去很花心呢。”芝仪说。 刚刚徐璐进来的时候，我不知道有多害怕她看到我的头发。我就像个拙劣的模仿者或是一个没思想的歌迷，太令人难堪了。要是大熊也在，凭他那个和我一样的头，就可以把我的难堪分担一半。 自从大熊问我要了照片之后，第二天在课室里见到他时，那种感觉怪尴尬的。 他就坐在我后面，说不定上课时一直盯着我的后脑勺，我却看不到他。他依然很静，并没有任何进一步的行动。接下来那几天的小息，他都跟星一和几个男生在操场上打篮球。减肥成功的星一成了学校的神话，也为所有痴肥少女点燃了做人的希望。即使是一点都不胖的薰衣草，有天上课时也忍不住问星一： “刘星一，你上哪一间纤体中心？” “没有啊，就只是运动和节食。”星一淡淡然的答案，听起来就像那些很有性格的漂亮女明星。 由青蛙摇身一变成为王子的星一，很受女生欢迎。他在操场上打篮球的时候，每一层楼都有女生靠在栏杆上替他打气、悄悄议论他。外形改变了的星一，人也好象一夜之间长大了。大熊却还是像个孩子，站着时从来不会挺直腰板，老是有点歪歪斜斜，好象准备随时再睡上一觉，每天穿的白衬衫要不是皱巴巴，便是从裤头里跑了出来，吃过的东西一定留点碎屑或是污渍在脸上和身上。他的书包重得像石头，甩在桌子上时会发出巨响，也许是因为从来没清理过。他有一双大脚，那双鞋子大得可以用来养一窝小鸡，松脱的鞋带从来不会去绑。他打球时一头乱发荡着汗水，粗粗鲁鲁地拍着球穿来穿去，有时还会露出一双多毛的腿，投篮的时候并不会象星一那样自觉地摆出一个潇洒的姿势。在星一身边，他是那么不起眼。 那便是真正的大熊吗？那个为了拯救朋友而冒险把一头疯牛引开的大熊，不会那么简单。 芝仪一连病了几天，连数学测验那天都没法回来，我真羡慕她。除了她，我在学校里并没有其他谈得来的朋友。没有她，我也懒得一个人出去吃饭。那天午饭的时候，我索性留在坐位上一边吃酥皮肉松面包一边温习下午的数学测验。 我双手支着头，苦恼地望着那些几何。这时，背后有人用手指戳了我一下。 我转过头去，是大熊。本来趴着睡的他，好象刚刚醒来的样子，望着我手上的面包说： “好饿，可以分一点给我吗？” “我有多一个。”我分给他另一个酥皮肉松面包，我本来打算留待小息时吃的。 “谢谢你。”他很不好意思地吃了起来，吃得满嘴都是面包屑。 “这一题，你会做吗？”我拿起那本数学补充练习，读给他听：“有位飞行员往正南方飞一百公里，然后往东飞了一百公里，再往北飞了一百公里，结果发现他又回到了起点。请问他是从哪儿起飞的？” “北极。”大熊想也不用想就说。 “为什么？”我不明白。 他咬着面包，在书桌底下的抽屉里找到一张皱巴巴的白纸，在上面画了这幅画： “为什么是北极？” “这只是个取巧的问题。因为地球是椭圆形的，北极在地球的顶端。围绕着这个中心点飞行，不管怎样，最后还是会回到起点。” 我似懂非懂地看着他画的那张图。 “还可以有另外两个起点。”他咬了一口面包说。 "yes?" “算了吧。”他手支着头说，“小矮人不会出这一题的，那牵涉到地球仪上的曲线，说出来你也不会明白。” “你怎知道我不明白？”我不服气地问。 “你连第一个答案都不知道。”他懒洋洋地说。 我撅着嘴，瞪了他一眼。 “面包多少钱？”他突然问我。 “算了吧。”我说。 “多少钱？”他很坚持。 我竖起三根指头。 他从口袋里掏出三块钱给我，闪着眼睛说： “很好吃，明天可以帮我买一个吗？” 我瞥了瞥他，不知好气还是好笑。这个人，真是拿他没办法。 “待会测验，你抄我的吧。”他头往后靠，伸了个懒腰说。 “千万不要！”我警告他，“小矮人可是出了名的辣手无情，要是给他逮到，你又会给赶出校。” 他微微怔了一下，奇怪我为什么会知道他给学校开除的事，我连忙转过头去，假装继续温习。虽然没领情，我心里可是有点感激他。 下午的数学测验正如大熊说的，果然没有出飞行员那一题。六条题目中，我仅仅会做其中两条，余下来的都是胡乱写的。当大熊把他那份测验卷传上来时，我几经挣扎才没有抄他的。 然而，那一节课结束的时候，小矮人却突然望着我们两个，阴沉沉地说： “熊大平、郑维尼，你们出来。” 难道小矮人连我偷偷瞄了一眼大熊的试卷也发现了？我站起身，有点担心地走出去，大熊跟在我后面。 “你们两个，哪一个可以给我解释一下？”小矮人拿起一本学生手册，翻到第一页朝班上的同学举起来。那是大熊的手册，上面贴着他的照片。不，等一下……那不是大熊的照片，是大熊把自己的头剪贴到别人的照片上，当成是自己的，剪贴的技术很拙劣，他的头发还是直的。 小矮人瞪了我们两个一眼，然后把大熊的头从那张照片上撕下来，底下竟然是我的照片。大熊拿了我的照片，原来是这个用途。那天，小矮人催促我们交手册，他自己没带照片，所以，无意中在地上拾到我的照片时灵机一动，把自己一张旧照片的头剪下来，贴到我头上。男生和女生的校服，上半身是一样的白衬衫，只有下半身不同。真亏他想得出来。 “你的照片呢？”小矮人问大熊。 “还没去拍。”大熊有点带窘地回答说。 “所以就随便找张旧照片贴到郑维尼的照片上顶替吧？反正两个人上半身一样。这是人皮面具还是贴纸相？你们两个很会搞笑呢。”小矮人嘲讽地说，脸上却一径挂着一个“你以为我真的觉得很好笑吗？你看不出我在说反话吗？”的表情。 班上的同学这时全都笑得前摇后晃，连作为受害人的我，也忍不住笑了出来。 “你们两个今天放学后给我到图书馆留堂一个钟。”小矮人抛下这句话才走出课堂。 大熊望着我，抱歉的样子。 那天放学后，我乖乖地在图书馆里留堂，大熊却不知去了哪里。要是小矮人突击检查的话，他死定了。男生脑子里到底都装些什么？好象老师天不怕地不怕似的。 我百无聊赖，在书架上拿了一本《哺乳动物图鉴》来看。学校图书馆的书一般都很闷，比不上“猫毛书店”那边有趣。我在那儿租过一本《听听尸体怎么说》，书里说有些人死后还会长指甲，好可怕。还有一本《尸体想你知》和《谁拿走了那条尸》。总之，凡是跟尸体有关的，不管是古尸还是现代尸，我都喜欢。 有时候，我自己都不禁怀疑自己是否有点恋尸癖或是心理不正常。 我翻开手上那本《哺乳动物图鉴》，里面有一章提到熊。美洲黑熊已经适应了人类社会，会尽量避开冲突。棕熊需要广阔的旷野才能生存，极少攻击人类。 懒熊的黑毛杂乱蓬松，一副不修边幅的样子。大熊到底像哪一种熊？是爱自由的棕熊、爱好和平的美洲黑熊，还是懒洋洋、上课经常睡觉的懒熊？ 可是，大熊长得根本一点儿都不像熊。他不是庞然巨物，没有粗壮的四肢，也没有近视。相反，他有一双聪明又孩子气的大眼睛，脸上永远挂着一个不知道是害羞还是怕麻烦的表情。偏偏是这样的男生，让你好想好想像顽皮狗儿在家中大肆捣乱那样，弄乱他那头本来就乱蓬蓬的头发。 那天，大熊始终没有出现，我双手支着头，望着书发呆。就在那时侯，星一来了。他手插着裤袋，一进来就直接往书架那边走。坐在我身边的几个初中女生纷纷把雀跃的目光投向他。小声议论着他。大熊并没有跟他一起。我看看手表，距离留堂结束的时间还剩下十分钟。那十分钟突然变得好漫长，我不知道该祈祷大熊快点赶来还是希望小矮人千万不要来。 结果，他们两个都没来。我松了一口气，站起身，拎起背包，把那本《哺乳动物图鉴》放回书架上去。 在一排书架后面，我看到正站着看书的星一。 “刘星一，你有没有见过熊大平？”我问他。 他带着些许笑意的眼睛朝我抬起来，耸耸肩。 “告诉他，他死定了。小矮人来过。”我装出一副很严肃，又有点幸灾乐祸的表情说。然后，我迈开大步走出图书馆，撇着嘴，忍笑忍得好辛苦。 第二天，我在楼梯碰到大熊。那时，第一节课的钟声已经响过了，我一次跨两级地冲上楼梯。大熊从后面赶上来，书包甩在一边肩头上，很快便走在我前头。 发现我时，他退了回来，问我： “小矮人昨天真的去了图书馆？” 我故意不告诉他。 他脸上露出惶恐的神色，我憋着笑。 “你昨天为什么没出现？”我问他。 “我忘记了。”他懊恼地说。 我翻翻眼睛，装出一副我帮不上忙的样子。但他很快便不再懊恼了，好象觉得事情既然已经发生了，就让它发生吧。然后，他撇下我，自顾自往上冲。 要是让他首先进课室去，我便是最后一个了，想到这里，我拼命追上去，从后面拉住他的书包喊： “喂！等等！” 我竟然笨得忘了他的书包一向有如大石般重，用来沉尸海底再也适合不过。 然而，我这时后悔已经太迟了，他本能地抓住楼梯扶手，那个书包离开了他的肩头，朝我迎面袭来，击中了我的脸，我好比给一个沙包打中了，整个人失去平衡掉了下去。我拼命想抓住些东西来稳住自己，却没能抓住，一直往后堕，左脚撞到了楼梯扶手，后脑着地时刚好压着自己的背包。 大熊站在楼梯上，惊骇地望着我。 千分之一秒之间，我把掀了起来的裙子盖好，便再也没法动。 他走下来，嗫嚅着问我： “你……你没事吧？” 这是不是就是所谓的报应？早知如此，我才不会戏弄他。 接着，我给送到医院去，照了几张X光片。那位当值的大龅牙医生问我知不知道自己是谁？我说出名字，他露出大龅牙笑了，说：“郑维妮是小熊维尼的维尼吗？” 我脑袋没事，左脚却没那么幸运，脚踝那儿肿了起来，活象一只猪蹄，得敷三个礼拜的药。 隔天，我踩着胶拖鞋，一拐一拐地上学去。大熊看到我，露出很内疚的样子。 小息的时候，我留在坐位上，他在后面戳了我一下。 “什么事？”我转过头去，鼓着气问他。 “对不起。”他说。 “你书包里都装些什么？” “都是书。”他尴尬地说。 “你上一次清理书包是什么时候？” “书包要清理的吗？”他一脸愕然。 “你从来不清理书包？” He shook his head. “你把所有书都带在身上？”我问他。 他点点头，好象理所当然的样子。 我眼睛往上翻了翻，叹了口气，埋怨他：“你差点儿害死我。我现在得每天坐出租车上学。”然后，我把头转回来，没理他，站起身，一拐一拐地走出课室。 芝仪在走廊上，我朝她走去。她看到我，反而马上走开。 “芝仪。”我就像单手划船似的朝她划去，问她说，“你没听见我叫你吗？” 她望了望我，脸上的神色有点异样。 “维妮，我们暂时还是不要走在一起。”她说。 “为什么？”我怔了一下。 她低头望了望我的脚说： “我们一个拐左边，一个拐右边，你以为很有趣吗？你知道我最害怕什么吗？” 她停了一下，抿抿嘴唇，有点激动地说，“我最害怕在街上迎面走来一个跟我一样的人，他也是一拐一拐的。” “可我不是——”我说到嘴边的话止住了。 “你不是真的，但我是。对不起，等你的脚没事再说吧。”她转过身去，拖着一个孤寂的背影走远了。 都是大熊惹的祸，他害我没朋友。 午饭的时候，我留在课室没出去，吃别人帮我买的排骨饭，我需要补充骨胶原。午饭时间过了一半，大熊回到课室来。我板着脸，装着没看到他。他坐到后面，戳了我一下。 “又有什么事？”我转过来向他。 他手上拿着钱包，从钱包里挖出几张皱巴巴的钞票和一堆零钱，推到我面前，说： “你拿去吧。” "What's the meaning?" “给你坐出租车。” “这里怎么够？”我瞥了瞥他。 “我再想想办法吧。”他搔搔头。 我把那些钱捡起来，偷偷瞄了他一眼，说： “对呀！你卖血也得筹钱给我。” 他无奈地看看空空的钱包。 几天之后，他再给我几张皱巴巴的钞票，说： “你拿去吧。” 我像个高利贷似的，数了数他给我钱，然后满意地收下。 那几天，他中午都没出去吃饭，留在课室的坐位上睡懒觉。我吃同学帮我买的午饭。芝仪依然避开我。 然后有一天，我吃着自己买的面包，听到后面传来咕噜咕噜的声音。我转过头去，看到大熊，那些声音从他肚子里发出来，他好象很饿的样子。我把一袋面包丢在他面前，说： “我吃不下这么多，你可以帮我吃一些吗？” 他点点头，连忙把面包塞进嘴里。 “你为什么不去吃饭？”我问他。 “我这个月的零用钱都给了你。”他咬着面包说。 “这是你自愿的，可别怪我。”我停了一下，问他，“你也喜欢徐璐吗？” 他怔了怔，不大明白。 “要不然你干吗烫这个头？”我瞄了瞄他的头发。 “我有个朋友在理发店当学徒，他那天找不到模特儿练习，所以找我帮忙。” He said. “然后你就变成这样？”我叹了口气。阿瑛说得没错，他果然不是那种会去烫发的男生，而是那种朋友叫他去刮光头发他也会答应的笨蛋。 “手册的照片，你拍了没有？”我问他。 他摇摇头，一副不知死活的样子。 “你不知道下面地铁站有一台自动拍照机吗？” 他眨眨眼，似乎真的不知道。 我从钱包里掏出三十块钱丢在他面前说： “你拿去拍照吧，再交不出照片，小矮人会剥了你的皮来包饺子。” “谢谢你，钱我会还给你。”他捡起那三十块钱说。 我觉得好笑，那些钱本来就是他的。 那天放学之后，我没坐出租车，拐着脚走向地铁站。那个颜色像向日葵的站口朝我展开来，我钻进去，乘搭一列长得不见底的自动楼梯往下。车站大堂盖在地底十米深的地方，在我出生以前，这儿还只是布满泥沙、石头和水，说不定也有幸福的鱼儿在地下水里游泳，而今已经成了人流匆匆的车站。 距离闸口不远的地方放着一个银色的大箱子，会吞下钞票然后把照片吐出来。 我从来不觉得他特别，直到这一天，我缓缓走向它，发现那条黑色的布幔拉上了，底下露出一双熟悉的大脚，穿着深蓝色裤子的长腿不是好好合拢，而是自由又懒散地摆着，脚下那双磨得灰白的黑皮鞋一如以往地没系好鞋带，那个把我撞倒的黑色书包搁在脚边。就在那一刻，布幔后面的镁光灯如魔似幻地闪亮了一下。我掏出车票，带着一个微笑，一拐一拐地朝月台走去。 许多年后，我常常回想这一幕。要是我当时走上去掀开布幔，发现坐在里面的不是大熊而是另一个人，我该怎么办？我的人生会否不一样？ 三个星期之后，我的脚伤痊愈了。曾经嫌弃我一拐一拐的芝仪又再和我走在一块。 那天，我们在回转寿司店吃午饭的时候，她突然说： “今天由我来请客吧。” “为什么？”我把一片鱼卵寿司塞进嘴里。 “对不起，你一定觉得我这个人太敏感了吧？”她歉意的眼睛朝我看。 “真的没关系。”我说。那段拐着脚走路的日子虽然只有短短的三个星期，却已经长得足够让我谅解芝仪。 那时侯，我最害怕的，不过是数学罢了，跟芝仪所害怕的，根本无法相比。 “我最害怕在街上迎面走来一个跟我一样的人，他也是一拐一拐的。”我无法忘记她说的这句话。 “多吃一点吧，我不是常常这么慷慨的。”她笑笑说。 “那我不客气了。”我又拿了一碟鱼卵寿司，问她说，“有什么东西是看上去太整齐了，你很想把它弄乱的？” “我说出来你会不会觉得我变态？”她有点不好意思，眼睛里却又带着一丝笑意。 “是什么？”我好奇地问。 “每次看到一些小孩子很用心砌了半天的积木，像是堡垒啦、房子啦，我都很想一手把它们全都推倒，然后看着那些小孩子流着两行鼻涕大哭大叫。光是在心里想，已经觉得痛快。”她吐吐舌头说。 “果然是很变态呢。”我说。 只想弄乱大熊头发的我，和芝仪相比，真是个正常不过的人。 “是星一。”芝仪突然压低声音说。 我转过头去，看到星一和大熊坐在回转带的另一头。大熊的零用钱不是全都给了我吗？他哪里还有钱吃饭？我这天跟芝仪外出吃饭之前，还故意丢给他一袋面包，说是因为我临时改变主意出去，所以面包给他吃。三个星期以来，我吃什么都留一些给他，撒谎说自己吃不下那么多。他这个笨蛋竟然每次都相信。要骗他，根本就不需要想出一些新的理由。 他为什么突然跑来吃寿司？说不定他这天也跟我一样，由身边的人请客。 “我要做一个实验。”我在心里说。 一碟鱼卵寿司正朝我这边转过来，快要经过我面前。它来到我面前了，然后继续往前走，我的目光追着它。 这时，星一看到了我，似笑非笑地，好象是介乎想跟我打招呼和不想打招呼之间，大熊也看到了我，傻气地望了望我，然后又转过头去继续跟星一聊天。 我手肘抵着桌边，目光一直斜斜地、悄悄地追着那碟橘红色的鱼卵寿司，祈祷它千万不要中途给别人拿走了。经过一段漫长迂回的路，它终于安全抵达大熊面前。 大熊很欢喜地，马上把它从回转带上拿起来，一个人吃得很滋味。 不是每个人都受得了鱼卵寿司的那股腥味，芝仪就从来不吃，星一连看都没看一眼。然而，喜欢它的人就是迷上那股独特的海水味道。大熊喜欢鱼卵寿司；还有就是，他刚好拿起了我挑中的那一碟，而不是前头经过的或是后来的那些。 “实验成功了！”我在心中喝彩。 然而，到底是什么样的实验，当时的我却无法具体说出来。是心灵感应的测试吗？是口味是否相同的鉴定吗？还是一个十六岁的女孩做着天