Chapter 4 Chapter 4 Suddenly

(1) Tutu left. It took me a long time to accept this fact. In those days, I almost achieved nothing. I was dealing with school affairs, and I didn’t participate in band affairs. Zhang Muer and Monster never came to me. They are good brothers. I know that at this time, I want to be alone. with.The monster called me and asked me if I would like the band to rehearse as usual. His tone was a little hesitant. I knew he was also in a dilemma, so I answered him in the most straightforward tone: "No, of course not." "That's good." He was silent for a while, as if relieved.

The days pass slowly, but eventually pass.The seasons rotate, and the tree that saw Tutu bid farewell to me first lost its leaves, and then burst into light green dots.Its life is renewed rapidly, the past is gone, and I can't. Because there is still no news from Tutu. I came home alone, ate alone, spent a lot of time with soap operas, countless takeaway lunch boxes piled up in the corner of my room, and my dirty clothes were piled on the sofa until one day I had no clean clothes to change, so I put them back on. Jeans worn three weeks ago. I just put myself together according to the inertia of my previous life. I will always remind myself to remember to eat and breathe. Although I look the same, I am no longer Lin Nanyi from before.I will never touch the guitar again, and there will be no music or singing in my world. If I hear a female singer singing, my heart will slowly shatter into pieces and fly into the air, never to die again. I couldn't find where I was going, and my whole body became an empty shell.

Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if Tutu had never appeared.There are still monsters, there is Zhang Muer, and the three of us may have been playing with some obscure notes, never stopping sending demos to record companies, never getting a reply, and in this hope that is always distant but never disappears, Slowly growing old, losing hair, having a belly, and having a nagging wife, maybe at the last moment of the sound, I suddenly realized that I had never loved. If that was the case, I actually thought with some relief, it would be much better as it is now. I have never stopped looking for Tutu in various ways, but she has never appeared. She disappeared so resolutely that every time I think of it, it hurts my heart.

But I still have to go to class.I am sensitive to the fact that I am not as popular as I used to be. For example, a student will hand over a note in class saying: Teacher, you buttoned your shirt wrongly. Oh.I rubbed the note aside indifferently. When class was over, I heard female students discussing in the corridor: "What's wrong with Anan recently? I think he hasn't shaved for at least ten days, and he's about to become a wild man in Shennongjia!" "I'm broken in love!" Another girl giggled, "Didn't you smell something from him? Why is it always like this when men lose love? I'm really a little disappointed, Anan used to be quite handsome."

I don't care about them. In the afternoon, I tutored the classical guitar group of the instrumental orchestra as usual, and took them to practice several Tarrega etudes. When I practiced the Mendelssohn theme, I found a girl named Liu Jiang who was obviously absent-minded. "Pay attention to the timbre change of the right hand." I reminded her. She looked up at me in a panic, flipping through the sheet music in front of her. "Why didn't you recite the score?" I asked a little annoyed. She shook her head. In fact, I have a good impression of Liu Jiang, because although there are few girls who sign up to learn guitar, not many of them persist.If I remember correctly, she was also among the students who represented the school in the provincial competition last time.So I coughed in peace, listened to them continue to play a few etudes, and then dismissed the get out of class.

Then I went to catch the bus home, and when I was walking in the corridor, I heard someone calling me from behind. "Mr. Lin, wait a minute!" Liu Jiang caught up. "What's the matter?" I was a little surprised. "Ms. Lin, I think, I want to talk to you, okay?" The girl rubbed the corner of her clothes, looking embarrassed. "It's nothing, I know you've been nervous about studying recently, if you're really too busy, you can ask for leave." I said kindly. "No," she flustered, "it's not this. Mr. Lin, you don't seem to be very happy recently."

"No way." I shrugged lightly. "Aren't you going to perform there?" I look at her. "Actually..." She hesitated, "There is a bar, I often go there during the winter vacation, they said you used to be there." "That was before." I said, "Don't go to that kind of place again in the future." "Oh." She replied softly.Her young face was clean, and there were faint tears in her eyes.She is actually a very beautiful girl, the kind of beauty of a good student, with a white dress and blue skirt, and a pair of eyes.I couldn't bear it, so I patted her on the shoulder: "The most important thing is to study hard."

Then I turn around, She shouted a little louder: "Mr. Lin, Mr. Lin!" I don't look back.I know that I have acted a little cold, but when you reject something, it's okay not to be cold. "Lin Nanyi, stop!" She shouted from behind, her voice was too loud. Of course I don't stand still. "Lin Nanyi!" she continued, with a sense of desperation in her voice: "Lin Nanyi, you idiot! Are you just refusing others to care about you like this? Will you give up the whole world when a heartless woman leaves you? " Why would the whole world know that Tutu left me?I thought it was a little funny, so I accelerated forward.

I never looked back, but I knew that she squatted down slowly in the middle of the corridor, and then I heard her sobbing softly. She is really sad, this child. Although there were not many people in the corridor at the time, I believe that this scene will soon be described as many different versions circulating in the sky. I didn't attend the faculty meeting in the next week, but after the meeting, the school leaders came to talk to me.I acted very humbly, but he seemed to be a bit wronged. He first poured tea for me to watch, and then said earnestly: "Xiao Lin, the college entrance examination will be in four months."

I know. "Although quality education is very important, at the critical moment, we still have to focus on the enrollment rate. The enrollment rate is the best embodiment of quality!" I nod. "So..." He seemed a little embarrassed, "The school leader decided to temporarily suspend the activities of the extracurricular group. Of course, it is only a temporary suspension, not a dissolution. There will be an appropriate time..." "Totally understand." I interrupted him. I admired his frustrated expression as he punched the cotton, and then he cleared his throat: "Actually, there are some things we can't help, you must understand."

"Understood." I replied simply. I found out later that Liu Jiang's parents had gone to the principal, and they brought Liu Jiang's diary, which was filled with admiration for me.It was a girl's crush, and it should have nothing to do with me. God knows I haven't even spoken to her in private, but for her parents, I can understand the seriousness of this matter. In fact, I also understand the school.Except for Tutu's departure, I can understand almost everything else in the world.School is not a factory for dreamers, nor is it a place where you teach your children to grow.The school has its own things to do, and it's not that I don't know how to fight against it, pretending to be false.It's just that all this is unnecessary now.I don't even have a desire to clarify myself. The next day, I handed in my resignation letter. It should be said that Tianzhong is indeed a well-known key middle school. On the day I resigned, they settled all the payable wages to me, even including the heating bill in winter.Of course, there are also some polite words in the package: "Xiao Lin, you are actually a very talented young man, and the school recognizes your grades. Can you stop being so impulsive and think about it again?" "No." I said, "Thank you." Then they handed me the stamped "Certificate of Termination of Labor Contract". The moment I walked out of the school, I felt very relaxed. I didn't go far when I found someone following me.Turning around, I found it was Liu Jiang, and asked timidly, "Mr. Lin, where are you going?" "Go home." I said as lightly as possible. "They said you resigned." Her tears were about to fall. "Yes." I said. "I'm sorry." She finally cried, "I really didn't expect the matter to be so serious. They dug out the diary from my bag, and no one listened to me explaining to them." "Okay." I said, "Hurry up and go back to school. If I'm seen again, I'll jump into the Yellow River and I won't be able to clean myself up." "If you don't go back to school to teach, I will jump into the Yellow River." Liu Jiang said, "I told them that I can drop out of school, but you can't resign as a teacher." "It's none of your business." I said, "I've wanted to do this for a long time. Don't think about it, let alone do it. Do you hear me?" She opened her eyes, looking at me half-understanding. I took a deep breath and said, "I have more important things to do." "Are you looking for your girlfriend?" she asked. It seems that there are quite a few people who know about me.I nodded and said, "That's right." "I wish Teacher Lin all the best." Liu Jiang said, "Will you change your phone number?" "No." I said. "Then I'll text you, will you reply?" "No." I said. She looked at me desperately, knelt down, and continued to cry. I turned around and left, let her cry when she cries, pain now is better than pain all the time.Where do children know what feelings are or not, they will forget them all in a blink of an eye. But I'm an adult, and I only loved one woman, and I can't forget her, and I can't accept the fact that she has forcibly pulled away from me.what should I do?How can I survive the days and nights of broken love, unemployment and frustration alone?