Chapter 15 Part fifteen

141 The alley at four o'clock in the morning. The deserted light was too late to penetrate the solid darkness. The gray light dragged the shadow back and forth. The alley that had just boiled up was once again peaceful.The women muttered, sneered, and gradually closed the doors of their homes. The lights that were turned on were turned off one by one. A sad river flows slowly in the darkness.Drowning all the youth and time that did not have time to escape. You could have escaped a long way. But you stay here all the time, any waters swell up until they capsize over your heads. Together with sound and light, there is no time to escape this huge river of sorrow.

The vast black water surface reflected a cold white light.Slowly swell up.The moon pulls huge tides. Will the whole world be swallowed up slowly because there is no time to resist? 142 In fact, there is nothing in this world that can definitely hurt you. As long as you are cold enough, indifferent enough, enough to stop caring about everything.As long as you slowly polish your heart into a smooth and hard stone. As long as you treat yourself as dead. Then, in this world, nothing can hurt you anymore. I don't want to feel so much pain from other people anymore.Then stop giving so much love to others.

If this kind of sentence was me in the past, when I saw it on TV or in a novel, I would definitely be so disgusted that my stomach acid burst out.But when all these things turn into palpable entities and slowly cover your whole body like a thick fog, you will feel that these have become wise words, shining with cruel and calm light. 143 A few days later.It seems that the body does not appear the phenomenon of hemorrhage after miscarriage.On the first day after the operation, I still bled a little like when I was on my period, and it became less and less every day after that. The ticking time bomb in his body seemed to have survived.

At night, I gradually stopped dreaming.But it wasn't a very deep sleep.Always floating on the surface of a dream.The ears and eyes maintain their keen ability to capture sound and light.Occasionally, a flying insect would vibrate its wings in the room, and Yi Yao would slowly open his eyes in the dark, staring quietly at the unclear ceiling until he dived into the surface of the dream again. Lin Huafeng only stayed in the hospital for one day, and then struggled to go home. That night, the 120 first aid cost four to five hundred yuan.Lin Huafeng didn't want to stay in the hospital for a minute.

I was weak for two days when I got home, and then slowly recovered. Also recovered, were the slippers that Lin Huafeng threw at Yi Yao, and the familiar phrase "Why don't you die".Yi Yao didn't want to hide anymore, and let the slippers hit his body and even his face.It's just that every time Lin Huafeng said "why don't you die", she would think in her heart that maybe letting you die at home that day was the real correct choice. I wish you could die.Like you want me to die. For you, I am a superfluous existence, so I can understand your wish for my death.Like my own child, it was a sudden and unexpected accident, so I wanted it to die, and it was really killed by me.

You should be able to understand this feeling. In fact, it is a matter of time before anyone dies. Every time Yi Yao looked at Lin Huafeng, such dark and vicious thoughts surged in his heart.Sweeping every space in the brain uncontrollably, expanding without a single gap to store the fleeting warmth. 144 It's actually a very random chance.Yi Yao heard Tang Xiaomi's conversation on the phone. At that time, Yi Yao was changing the tampon in the toilet cubicle. It was already the fourth day, and there was not much blood on the tampon. When I was putting on my pants, there was a phone call from the next cubicle. It was Tang Xiaomi.

Yi Yao didn't intend to listen at all, but when he was about to open the door and go out, he heard Tang Xiaomi next door laughing and saying: "But cousin, you are too capable, how did you get that medical record? So realistic. Do you know what our school calls that bitch Yi Yao now? It's called a hundred yuan. I laughed so hard..." When Tang Xiaomi came out of the toilet cubicle, he saw Yi Yao washing his hands in front of the bucket, and his face turned pale instantly. "What a coincidence," Yi Yao smiled at Tang Xiaomi from the mirror, "You think so?"

Tang Xiaomi twitched the corners of her mouth in embarrassment, revealing a smile uglier than crying. When returning to the classroom, Yi Yao found Qi Ming.She asked him to borrow his mobile phone and wanted to send a message to his mother because her mobile phone was out of battery. Yi Yao quickly typed a text message and sent it. When handing the phone back to Qi Ming, Qi Ming didn't raise his head, but just reached out to take it, and then continued to look down at the book.Yi Yao smiled lightly, and returned to his seat indifferently. Tang Xiaomi found his phone vibrated and took it out. When he opened the cover and saw that the sender was "Qi Ming" on the screen, he suddenly took a deep breath.

She turned off her mobile phone and looked towards Qi Ming's seat. Qi Ming was reading with his head down.The light shone from the right side of his face, and the light golden fluff on the skin seemed to cast a soft light on his face. Tang Xiaomi took a few deep breaths, and then slowly returned to her seat. Yi Yao, who was a few meters away, slowly withdrew his eyes and smiled with his head down. The short message he sent with Qi Ming's mobile phone just now is: "Before class starts at two o'clock in the afternoon, see you at the pool at the back door of the school. I have something to tell you."

The recipient is Tang Xiaomi. 145 When get out of class was over at noon, Qi Ming and Yi Yao happened to walk out of the classroom together.Qi Ming looked at Yi Yao in front of him, hesitating whether to ask her to have dinner together.Before he could speak, Yi Yao had already walked out of the classroom without looking back. Qi Ming stood at the door with his hand on his schoolbag, watching Yi Yao walk away slowly until he disappeared at the end of the corridor. When the phone rang, Qi Ming picked it up, listened to a few words, and replied: "Good. I'll find you in the classroom."

Yi Yao didn't go to the cafeteria to eat.I went to the canteen to buy a generation of biscuits and a bottle of water, and then walked slowly back to the classroom. Lying on the corridor and looking down, there are small figures scattered on the playground moving back and forth.The sunlight shines from among the branches of the trees surrounding the playground, casting bright spots of light on the gray ground of the playground, which is blown back and forth in a small distance by the wind. In the air are the songs selected by the radio group played in the student radio station.Yi Yao also knew that the group, they were all pretentious girls who could be described as pink, who dressed themselves up as 14 years old, flipped through Japanese and Korean magazines, spoke in the tone of cartoons, and were keen to go to the street Facing the machine cute ten consecutive shots. The song in the air is Kuta Kumi.Japan's most popular sexy woman recently. In fact, if you listen to it without any prejudice, her songs will not make people feel uncomfortable. Yi Yao poked his head out, and saw Qi Ming walking slowly into the corridor and Gu Senxiang beside him.Yi Yao half closed his eyes expressionlessly, avoiding the strong light shining into his eyes. It was not yet summer, so there were no loud cicadas in the air.It's just that the sun is getting more dazzling every day.The shadow at noon gradually shortened to a ball under your feet.It is no longer an elongated long shadow pointing to the distance. The summer in my memory was so far away that it was a little blurry.It's like inserting a piece of frosted glass in my mind every day, blocking the memory layer by layer. Only the noise from the construction site in the distance remained, as if the school had built a new teaching building.The dull sound of piling, like some kind of mysterious timing, continued to come from afar. Yi Yao put his feet on the railing, leaned out vigorously, and his hair was blown away by the wind.Just as Yi Yao closed his eyes, he heard loud screams in his ears. Yi Yao turned around and saw a girl he didn't know standing in front of him. After watching for a while, he laughed: "What do you think I'm going to do? I'm so scared." The girl didn't speak either, she just grabbed her skirt with her hands. "Do you think I want to die?" Yi Yao asked. The other party didn't answer, turned around and ran away quickly. "There's nothing terrible about death. It's the living who suffer." Yi Yao even laughed loudly at the fleeing girl. "Then go die, what are you waiting for!" A loud sneer came from behind, and Yi Yao turned around to see Tang Xiaomi. Unlike in the morning, if she looked carefully now, she could see that she had put on foundation and mascara.There are also barrettes with shiny rhinestones in her hair. Yi Yao looked at Tang Xiaomi in front of him, and a smile that he understood instantly appeared on the corner of his mouth: "Wait for you." 146 Yi Yao was sitting on the seat reading a book. When a black shadow was suddenly cast on the page of the book, Yi Yao raised his head and saw Qi Ming standing in front of him with a dark face. "Get out of the way, I'm reading." Yi Yao Haruka finished speaking in a lukewarm manner, and moved the book to a sunny place. Qi Ming stretched out his hand and snapped the book shut. Yi Yao frowned: "Why are you so nervous, it's okay, don't make trouble for you." Qi Ming took out his mobile phone from his pocket, opened the lid and called out one of the sent messages, then put it in front of Yi Yao's nose, Yi Yao's nose, "You are looking for trouble, right?" Yi Yao looked at the text message he had sent to Tang Xiaomi on the screen, but said nothing. Qi Ming's eyes gradually turned red, as if they were being scorched by a fire, and the bloodshot eyes seemed to burst open. Yi Yao brushed her hair and sat down. Just as she was about to say "I'm sorry", out of the corner of her eye, she saw Tang Xiaomi standing at the door of the classroom. Tang Xiaomi, who had been waiting by the school pool for half an hour just now, knew that class was about to start and had to rush back to class. Tang Xiaomi, who took the time to put on her makeup carefully at noon. Even Tang Xiaomi, who has designed the facial expressions of the dialogue. At this moment, he stood quietly at the door of the classroom, looking at Qi Ming who was angry at Yi Yao with his mobile phone. At that moment, he understood everything.The complex circuits distributed in the body were quickly connected to the current, and the current flowed through the body with a beeping sound. The class bell urged everyone back to their seats. When the teacher pushed open the door, everyone took books out of the drawers.Tang Xiaomi took out the unused English dictionary from the drawer, and slammed it hard on Yi Yao's head from behind. When everyone in the classroom was startled by the loud "pop" of the dictionary falling on the floor, everyone saw Yi Yao lying on the table and holding the back of his head with his hand, unable to make a sound. After a long time, Yi Yao didn't move. It wasn't until the teacher got angry on the podium and asked "what's going on", that Yi Yao raised his head. She took down her hand and looked at the faint blood streaks seeping along the palm lines in her palm, then turned her head to look at Tang Xiaomi behind her, she really had the expected surprised expression, and everyone around her same expression. Yi Yao turned around, got up and picked up the dictionary on the ground, and said to the teacher, "The teacher threw a dictionary over from behind, but I don't know who threw it, and it hit me. I was so painful that I couldn't speak. I'm sorry." .” The teacher looked at Yi Yao, stretched out his hand and made a "sit down" gesture. Tang Xiaomi grinned sneer behind her back. Just as the teacher was about to turn around and continue the class, Yi Yao stood up suddenly again. She flipped through the dictionary, then turned around and said in a loud voice, "Tang Xiaomi? It says Tang Xiaomi. Tang Xiaomi, is it your book?" ?” Yi Yao's outstretched hand stopped in mid-air, waiting for Tang Xiaomi to take it. At that moment, Tang Xiaomi felt that the dictionary stretched out to him was like a dagger with green light.And Yi Yao's face in front of him with a frozen sincere smile swallowed up all light and sound like a huge black hole. 147 If Yi Yao turned her head to take a look at the moment she stretched out the dictionary to Tang Xiaomi, she would definitely see Qi Ming behind her. He thought his gaze was like a burning candle in a drafty room. Shaking back and forth, it went out at the last moment, turning into a wisp of white smoke and disappearing into the airflow. 148 The lonely and warm light of dusk. The noisy human voice after school is like sea water rising and falling on the campus. The wind blows the leaves layer by layer. The rustling sound rippled round and round above the head. Qi Ming brushed past Yi Yao, without looking at her, and walked straight to the stairs at the end of the corridor. Yi Yao reached out and grabbed the hem of his clothes. "Do you think I'm too much?" Yi Yao said, looking at Qi Ming who turned around. "Excessive?" Qi Ming's face was covered by the setting sun, with a yellowish and sad tone, "Do you think it's just excessive? What's the difference between you and them?" Qi Ming put his schoolbag on his back, turned around and left, and turned around after taking two steps, "Don't you think that you are actually very vicious?" 149 When I was very young, about the fourth grade of elementary school. Once at a school garden party, Qi Ming and Yi Yao played together in front of a game of fishing for goldfish.When Yi Yao poked his head out to look at the goldfish in the fish tank, the hairpin on his head suddenly fell into the water. Without saying anything, Qi Ming rolled up his sleeves and reached into the fish tank. After touching the bottom of the water a few times, he fished out Yi Yao's hairpin. It was a cold winter at that time, and when Qi Ming's receiving arm was drawn out of the water, it was blown red in the wind. And now, as if he had put his hand into the water as if nothing had happened, he chose such a stone called "Viciousness", picked it up and smashed it at himself vigorously. Yi Yao put the books one by one into the schoolbag, and felt itchy when he buttoned the schoolbag.She raised the back of her hand and wiped her face with wet tears. Yi Yao quickly grabbed his schoolbag and ran towards the school gate. When I ran to the door of the bicycle shed where the bicycles were parked, I happened to see Qi Ming who was pushing the bicycle out.And Gu Senxiang standing beside him. Yi Yao stood in front of Qi Ming, wiped off his sweat, looked into Qi Ming's eyes without flinching and said, "Let's go home together." Not "shall we go home together". Nor is it "Let's go home together." It's "Let's go home together".It's like reciting the axioms in a math textbook that can be directly quoted without being demonstrated.Naturally and firmly said, we go home together. Yi Yao clutched his schoolbag tightly with his hands. Qi Ming lowered his head, and after a while, he raised his head to look at Yi Yao, and said, "You go home first. I have something else to do." Yi Yao didn't intend to move away, she still stood in front of Qi Ming, staring at Qi Ming in front of her, her hands clutching her schoolbag trembled slightly, she was pale without blood.At that moment, Yi Yao was terrified like never before. When he wanted to go to the familiar world, he suddenly saw it turned 180 degrees horizontally, and his face was completely changed. Gu Senxiang looked at Yi Yao in front of him, feeling a little sad that he couldn't explain why.She looked up at Qi Ming and said, "Either I..." Qi Ming shook his head, turned the front of the car in one direction, stretched out his arm behind him, grabbed Gu Senxiang's hand, and gave it a gentle squeeze, "Let's go." 150 A world as wrong as a chessboard that was once imagined by people. Rivers, lakes, seas, deserts, mountains and rivers are distributed on the same horizontal plane like chess pieces. And you just stretched out your hand gently, and shook it at the far end of the world.So the whole chessboard flipped and tilted towards that side.All the rivers and lakes, together with the sea, all the tides rush towards the sky like crazy.The once vast ocean has become a deep canyon, and the once desert mountain has been covered with boundless waters. And now, this is the world after being reselected and redefined. Since you have made a choice. Since you put your hands in another remote place in the world.