August 2002 Qi Ming: A lonely person will always remember everyone who has appeared in his life, so I always think of you.On every night when the stars fall, count my loneliness over and over again. My name is Qi Ming, and I live in Zhejiang. I wander around the campus with a shoulder bag on my back every day. My hair hangs long in front of my eyes. When the shade and sunlight enter my eyes, they become messy fragments and Silhouettes, like fragments of time.This summer I turned 19 years old, I stood in the middle of the phoenix flower, but no one said happy birthday to me. The teacher said to me, just hang around with nothing to do, after you have finished your 19-year-old life, you will have nothing to hang around.

The girl I like is Lan Xiao. She has smooth hair and a bright smile. She loves to talk and laugh.Every night after self-study, she always pushes her bicycle home alone, and I walk behind her with my guitar on my back.We were separated by a distance and did not speak to each other.I'm worried about her going home alone, it's not good for a girl to be alone at night. After watching her walk down the hallway, I turned and walked away, going home, whistling loudly as I walked into the dark. But in the past, when we were both children, I would always take her home by bicycle, the smile in the night wind, the youth on the bicycle.And the camphor tree in front of her building always emits a strong fragrance at night.

In the hot summer of 2002, I and some boys who were as laid-back as me stood on the edge of the railroad tracks outside the train station every day, listening to the train passing by in a hurry, like a heavy thunder sounding overhead, hitting the ground one after another. on my shoulders.Occasionally there will be rain, and when the scorching raindrops fall on my face, I will wonder if I am crying. Thinking of Lan Xiao, my tears are like heavy rain. This summer seems to be frozen and elongated infinitely, like that silent black railroad track, with no way to see, no end in sight. Every day when the sun goes behind Qun Lan and the shadow covers my hair, I will lie on the concrete floor beside the railway track, look at the sky, and think of Lan Xiao.I miss her very much, the sunlight reflected by her white skirt in summer, and her serious look when doing the test papers.I wanted to call her, but my cell phone was dead.I forget how many days I haven't been home.Because going home is just as lonely, the empty room is air-conditioned, there is no food and no anger.

I always hallucinate whenever a train speeds past me, I always see myself jumping onto the track, and then my head flies high into the sky, my body spreads out like a lotus flower on the track, and the air The fragrance of Lan Xiao's hair came. Somewhere, the evening bell rang. C sings in the direction the sun is falling, leaving us with a silhouette with blurred edges.He sings that whenever you see the red sunset again, whenever you hear the evening bell again, the bits and pieces of the past will surge up in my sad heart before it's too late. I suddenly thought of the little prince, the lonely child who watched the sunset forty-three times a day, the child who guarded his only rose.

When the whole garden was full of roses and he couldn't find his flower, he knelt down and cried sadly. In the summer of 2000, Lan Xiao told me this story and gave me the book. In the following nights, I spent many nights flipping through the exquisite coated paper under the desk lamp, looking at the childish and serious crayon illustrations. In August 1999, when you told a joke, I would laugh for several days, but when I saw you cry once, I was sad for several years. Summer is my favorite season, because the sky is extraordinarily vast and clear, which is rare in the south.I like to look up at the sky at forty-five degrees, and sometimes I can hear the birds chirping through the sky.

After signing up from the school, I stood at the school gate and waited for the bus, looking at the sky and thinking that I was a high school student now, and I no longer needed to wear those obedient school uniforms like a kindergarten child. Hey, that classmate, you are a freshman, lend me your mobile phone. I looked up and saw a boy riding on a bicycle, with long hair flying in the wind, his smile was as clear as water, he seemed very happy, his white teeth and pink gums were showing when he smiled.I saw that he had two pointed canine teeth. I judged by my eyes that he was not a liar, so I handed over the phone. After three seconds, I began to regret it, because he happily greeted others in Mandarin: Oh, boy, you are actually in Beijing.Then I watched him with a particularly painful facial expression, playing long distances with joy and vitality, and then he simply got off the bike, and then paced back and forth frequently changing positions.

Ten minutes later, he handed the phone to me, and asked me innocently with wide-eyed eyes: Why is it out of battery? I said, do you still want me to charge you! But it is a pity and it is strange that he should have heard the irony as a question.He tilted his head and thought about it seriously, and then said: No need, it's almost over anyway. I swear to Chairman Mao that I really want to kick him to death. When I turned around and walked two or three steps, he called me from behind: that mobile phone sister, do you want to invite me to dinner? I turned around and said: Do you want to invite me to dinner?

He shook his head and said, no, no, you invited me to dinner, because I don't have any money with me today.Then he graciously turned out all his pockets to show me. I swear to God begging Chairman Mao to bring him back to life after I kicked him to death, I will kick him to death again. During the roll call the next day, I heard the teacher call Qi Ming, and then a familiar voice behind me said: Here!I turned around and saw that guy's canine teeth. He seemed to be very happy and asked me, sister mobile phone, why are you sitting in front of me? Because I committed Tai Sui this year.I swear to Chairman Mao for the third time in my heart.

Then Qi Ming became my classmate. Every day I could see him wearing clothes of different styles but expensive clothes dangling in front of me.I said you are clean enough to be stewed and eaten.He said it was better to wash it first. That summer in my memory is as brisk as a youth movie without sadness, every scene is full of brilliance, no matter when I look back, what I see is happiness and no sadness. Maybe it was because that summer went by so quickly.I said this to myself many years later. Qi Ming in August 2002: Every time this season comes, I like to hang out on the street, watching the wind pass through the whole city, through every luxuriant tree, through my last youth, my 19 years old.

When walking through the cracks in this city, I always like to look up at the blue sky exposed from the rooms in the upper floors, and I can hear the sound of the wind passing through the cracks. Lan Xiao is waiting for her grades at home. I know she did very well in the college entrance examination, but I did very poorly in the exam.When I heard the grades on the phone, I felt something suddenly pressed against my chest, and then quickly evacuated, and something deep in my chest was also taken away.I was so sad that I couldn't even cry.I dialed the number one at a time to the information desk and heard the number three times over and over again that made me think I had heard it wrong.After I hung up the phone, I squatted on the side of the road. Many cars and people passed by me. I heard the sound of glass shattering.

I called Lan Xiao, but I couldn't make a sound while holding the phone.But she knew it was me.She said, don't be sad, I've already checked your score for you, and I know you didn't do well in the exam.My tears fell big and big on the hot ground, and quickly evaporated without even a trace.I suddenly began to understand that in this hot summer, many things will be evaporated, and there will be no traces left. I mingled with some unrefined boys in the dark bottom of this city, squandering my youth and life.Amidst the earthquake-like rock music in the bar, I can no longer remember the song I sang to Lan Xiao by playing the guitar. Memory is like water poured in the palm of your hand. Whether you spread it out or hold it tightly, the water will always flow cleanly from your fingers, drop by drop. I don't know where my future is rooted, or if I have no future at all.Those few friends and I planned to study in a private university in Xi'an, but it was ridiculous that we didn't even have enough registration fee. If I ask my mother, there is no doubt that the money I get will allow me to buy that college diploma directly, but I don't want to see my mother again.Since she left my dad.Also I don't want to see my dad anymore, since he left my mom. So the few of us stood alone in the hustle and bustle of the city, without purpose or direction.As those very hypocritical people say, we are sick children living in the dark, with blue faces and jagged eyes. But we are not cynical, not ostentatious, we are just silent, for a long period of time, lying on the platform outside the station, listening to the train passing by, looking at the hot yellow sky above us, watching the birds darting across the sky, Some birds will be shot suddenly and fall straight down. My memory began to blur, because I can no longer remember the appearance of myself wearing a clean white shirt and Lan Xiao standing under the shade of a tree, I can't remember my clear and clean laughter, and I can't remember the first time Lan Xiao gave me a gift on my birthday. The way I blushed when I read the brochure, not remembering us skipping class to watch a movie or find a sun-soaked lawn to sleep on. I can't think of my seventeen years old, or the summer when the phoenix flower bloomed for the first time. September 2000 Lan Xiao: I count your smiles every day, but even when you smile, you are so lonely.They say your smile is beautiful and silent. I got to know Qi Ming quickly, and there was no teacher telling us the legend about the unripe fruits of summer while I sat screaming on the back of his bike.The reason is that in this school, if your grades are good enough, then those student rules are about zero for you. I was number one in the school, and Qi Ming was number seven.Qi Ming said that I was like a wealthy local man running amok in this school. I started to develop the habit of skipping classes because of Qi Ming's training, and after I found out that I was still the first even if I skipped classes, I started to skip classes with peace of mind and never tire of it, without any ideological burden. When Qi Ming took me to skip class for the first time, he spoke earnestly to me like training a spy: First, don't panic when you see the teacher. I panic fart. Second, don't bark when you climb the iron gate. I call a fart. Third, you are so cute. I'm cute ass, oh no, I'm so cute. Later, with the help of Qi Ming, I successfully climbed over the iron gate of the school, but then I decided to wear less skirts in the future.Because when my skirt was caught by the iron gate, I saw Qi Ming laughing so hard that he almost passed away, as if he was dying, his two canine teeth were particularly eye-catching in the sunlight. Sometimes we skip class and do nothing, just find a piece of grass and sleep.So lying on the grass and looking at the sky became my clearest memory in my freshman year of high school. Qi Ming is a man of great nerves, if you tell him that the sea water is so blue, he will tell you that it is because the blue light in the white light is not absorbed by the sea water.And he always speaks out of common sense. For example, once I asked him to accompany me to buy clothes, I asked him how he felt when I put it on, and he said, good-looking is good-looking, but it is ugly.And when you talk to him, his rhythm is always a beat slower than yours, so that you will feel that he is clearly sleeping with his eyes open. When his eyes are looking at me in a trance, I always sigh: he looks so good, what a pity IQ is so low. But there are still many ignorant little girls who like this low-IQ person. It is undeniable that Qi Ming is very good-looking.Because I said on all occasions that I didn't like Qi Ming, those girls boldly handed over their long-awaited love letters to me and asked me to pass them on to Qi Ming.I've never seen a woman trust another woman so much. But he hardly ever watched it.I asked him: Hey, why don't you read the letter that someone wrote to you? Because they are so complicated to fold, I can't open them.Qi Ming gnawed on the ribs with his head down, and answered me without raising his head.Today's ribs are delicious, it's a pity if you don't eat them. Later, when some girls gave it to me, I really wanted to tell them not to make paper cranes with lovesickness knots, because that idiot couldn't open them. Qi Ming's family is very rich, and both parents are running companies.He barely wore repetitive clothes all summer and only drank Pepsi. He said he would throw up when he drank pure water.I always spend a lot of time teaching him how to be a simple person, and he always nods seriously and says: Hey, are you done yet?I saw a piece of clothing that only cost more than 600 yuan. You can accompany me to buy it in the afternoon. Qi Ming's ideal is to become an excellent advertising designer, while my ideal is to study international accounting.He always said that I was such a vulgar woman who got into money all day long, and I always said that he was such an ambitious man who was unrealistic all day long.But I still gave him an advertising album on his birthday.When he took the album, his face was as red as a tomato. I said: You blush. He put his hands in his pockets and said: My blushing was planned and premeditated, why is it so strange.Then he turned around and left Yushu facing the wind.After walking three steps, he turned around, his face turned red like a tomato, and he said: Well, thanks. Then he suddenly said in surprise: Oh, you are blushing! I started to learn how to get along with Qi Ming, and I started to understand his language such as "well, good-looking is good-looking or a little ugly", "he is thinner or a little fat", and I started to like to see this big boy who looks like a child laughing. Baring his canine teeth, he was drenched in sweat after playing basketball and pestered me asking me to buy him a Coke.I started to sing on the back seat of Qi Ming's bicycle every day, asking me if I weighed while singing, and he always said that he once dangled a bag of rice and I was heavier than a bag of rice.Began to get used to being escorted to lunch by him.I started to tolerate his preaching to me that he thought he was an elder. Sometimes I dream of him, Qi Ming in the dream feels very real, with long and soft hair, dove gray pupils, and the blue mist around him is always a mystery.