Chapter 14 Part V, Sections 53-57

Part V, Section 53: I read your diary! Ye Qiuyue's diary—— February 3, 1980 It's winter vacation!Maybe it's all because of the holiday.I was caught in the vortex of emotion and couldn't extricate myself. That day, during the general cleaning, I moved Li Jiangliu's desk, and there was a loud crash, and all the things in his desk fell to the ground.I hurriedly picked it up for him.I found a diary It is exactly the same as the new diary I bought.I opened it curiously.Oh, my heart is beating.It turned out to be Li Jiangliu's diary.The dozens of thick pages in front were stapled together.Why nail it up?This aroused my curiosity again.I flipped through it, and there was a long poem inside.The title is: "Eighteen-year-old Capriccio".Turning back, there is another poem called "The Secret of Love".I seemed to be peeping at someone's secret, my heart was pounding, I shouldn't be watching, but I couldn't help it.I feel very sorry for Li Jiangliu.Looking up, he was standing on the window sill cleaning the glass and saw nothing.I hastily stuffed the diary and a bunch of other things into his desk.

February 4, 1980 I always feel sorry for Li Jiangliu in this matter.Am I not the most disgusted by dad peeking at other people's diaries?Why did I read other people's diaries?The few times I saw Li Jiangliu, I always wanted to tell him.However, I can't always open my mouth. In the evening, there was no homework and enough time, so I started thinking wildly.Qiu Ju has been at home every day these days.Because my mother didn't introduce anyone to her again.But Qiuming was not at home almost every night, so he didn't know what he was busy with.No one asked her.Qiu Ju always wanted to talk to me, but I ignored her.I can't be bothered to talk to her.One look at me is enough!

February 7, 1980 It's been a few days off.I thought that if I didn't see Li Jiangliu, I would forget about it.In fact, I can't forget it at all.Today, we are going to Taoranting for the activities of the Youth League branch.I don't like skating. I stand by the ice and show everyone the clothes.I always look at Li Jiangliu.His skating posture is very beautiful.Probably he noticed that I was looking at him, so he slid over to greet me: "Come on, skating! I'll teach you!" I waved my hand quickly.He slipped away.Like a swallow flying away. After skating, I worked up my courage and said to Li Jiangliu, "I read your diary!"

"Really? When?" He was very strange. I told him it was the big cleaning.I said sorry to him.The diary is written for myself.I did not respect him. "I'm really at a loss!" He didn't blame me too much, but said it humorously.After all, it is a boy!It's different from girls, not so narrow-minded. Along the way, we talked a lot.I actually chatted with him about Qiuju and Qiuming. I said that I was the most depressed at home.No one understands me.He feels the same way as I do.He said the last thing he wanted was to go home.He is the only child of his family, but his parents seem to be too busy to take care of him.He couldn't talk to them.As soon as I got home, my father asked: "How did you do in the exam?" Mom asked: "Is the food okay? Is the food delicious?"

It seems that apart from this, there is nothing else to talk about. When I got home, I thought about my diary again. I always felt that I was sorry for him, so I said to him: "Let me show you my diary too!" He was surprised and said, "That's great! Let me see what you girls remember!" "Come to my house!" When he came home with me, his parents were still off work, and Qiuming was the only one at home.She stared at us blankly.I handed the diary to Li Jiangliu and said, "Only you can read it alone, and no one else is allowed to read it!" He said with a smile. "There must be a lot of scolding me inside!"

I don't know what he will think of my diary.Today, I don't know why, and I seem to be very excited.I remembered so much at once. February 8, 1980 I look forward to Li Jiangliu sending me a diary.He didn't come today. February 9, 1980 Today, Li Jiangliu did not come again.Why do I look forward to his coming so much?Besides, don't even bother to keep a diary? Part V, Section 54: I learned to skate with Li Jiangliu February 10, 1980 Today, Li Jiangliu came and returned the diary to me.What a coincidence, he came just in time for Mom and Dad's public holiday.They looked at him in that way.

Really annoying! "Go! Go outside!" I dragged Li Jiangliu away.I'd love to know what he thinks of my diary. Many of his opinions are similar to mine, such as his parents, college entrance examinations, "old elders" and "stones", many classmates in the class, and even the new class teacher Mr. Zhong. I'm so happy.We can talk like that.He also recited his "Eighteen-year-old Capriccio" to me.I can't remember, but I only remember two sentences: "Eighteen years old, I will be a youth, I will walk out of school and go to the vast horizon..." I also want him to recite the song "The Secret of Love" to me, However, I am embarrassed to mention it.His poems are so well written that I think they can be published.I think being friends with guys is different than being friends with girls.When you make friends with girls, you can’t say what you want to say, and your heart is fragile. If you talk about distress, you will suffer together; when you are happy, you will forget yourself together.Just like two toads, neither can jump out of the well.Talking to boys can give you encouragement and inspiration.This is probably the psychological factor of intercourse between men and women, right?Before, I didn't think about this problem.Today, the communication with Li Jiangliu also made me know him and myself.

I remembered that before, I was too naive to hand over the letter that Chen Guodong wrote to me to the teacher.I thought that as long as men and women interacted, it must be a disgraceful thing! How stupid! Dad is so annoying.After I got home, I was interrogated like a thief, asking Li Jiangliu what his name was, where he lived, how you brought him home, and where he went just now... Finally, he specifically told me: "You are still young, Don't make friends and get married!" I don't even want to hear it!Mom was playing the drums, saying that everything was for my own good!

February 12, 1980 Today, Li Jiangliu sent me his "Eighteen-year-old Capriccio".It was what I wanted, and he specially copied a copy.how?Is this going to be reviewed too?Is it a love letter?Look at the round eyes of mom and dad.It seems that it is a secret code, hiding many secrets.The more they want to see it, I just don't show it to them, and I'm angry with them! Sending Li Jiangliu away, Mom and Dad, one beating the gong and the other beating the drum, started teaching me again, and started talking again, all for my own good.For my own good?Back then, Qiu Ju and Qiu Ming, didn't they also say it was for them?How are they doing now?When Qiu Ju was in high school, there was a boy, a pretty good boy who chased Qiu Ju.Qiu Ju also fell in love with him, so she went home and told her father and mother about it.They said: "Don't hand it in, don't worry, the parents will take care of finding a partner." They want to take care of everything.Is this kind of thing the same as ironing clothes, can it be done in a big way?Qiu Ju worked.At first, a worker took a fancy to her, and she also took a fancy to him.It was the father and mother who objected: "Don't worry! Thinking about it so early will have a bad influence in the factory! Parents will take care of finding a partner!" What did they care about?Now, my sister is almost thirty.They were in a hurry, and they introduced their partners one by one like a revolving lantern. Qiu Ju was also in a hurry, and applied cream, beauty cream, pearl cream... vigorously on the face.But, can it really anti-wrinkle and anti-aging?Qiu Ju also deserves to be unlucky, who made her listen to her parents so much, and what's annoying is that now she has become a copy of her parents, and even the conditions and standards for finding a partner are the same as her mother's.A few years ago, it was to be good at politics, but recently it was changed to a diploma and a professional title.snort!Really boring!

What about Tyumen?There was also a male classmate in middle school who was on good terms with her.She is not like Qiu Ju.She buried everything in her heart and didn't want to reveal it.Who knows, let my mother find out. She found a letter from a boy in Qiumen's schoolbag.Dad rummaged through all of Qiumen's drawers.They found a stack of letters and photos... Dad actually beat Qiumen, forcing him to disconnect from the boy.The boy went to join the army, but his father refused to let Qiuming see him off.They tore up letters from boys.They also said that they are in charge of the object matter.They manage.What the hell?What can they do?Qiuming was not willing to introduce anyone they introduced to Qiuming.I know that Qiumen's heart is still with that boy.And that boy died in the self-defense counterattack against Vietnam on the front line of Guangxi the year before last...

Stop writing!They came to control me again today!I don't need their "good intentions"! February 13, 1980 Li Jiangliu's poems are really well written. "At eighteen, I will be a youth. I will walk out of school and walk towards the vast horizon... At eighteen, I will be the sun. I will jump out of the sea and embrace the white clouds and blue sky..." That's great, really bold.I really wish I could be eighteen sooner.At the age of eighteen, I will graduate, and I must be admitted to a foreign university.Leave home and go to live on campus.All my actions are free, and my father and mother don't want to control me anymore!The farther away from them the better! I probably screwed them up enough yesterday.They couldn't help it.I saw my father write a letter to my third uncle today.They know that I admire my third uncle the most, and hope that my third uncle will come to my house to persuade me.I really hope that my third uncle will come home early. February 14th, 1980 I finally looked forward to today again.Today, the Youth League branch is skating again at Taoranting.In fact, I am usually the least willing to participate in the Youth League branch activities.Almost all the activities of the Youth League branch during the winter vacation were skating, which was suggested by Li Jiangliu, who made him a sports committee member. At the time, I was against it.Now, I look forward to skating.People are weird sometimes. I saw Li Jiangliu again.I knew I had come to see him.He asked my opinion on his "Eighteen Capriccio".I can't tell.I want to ask him to read the song "The Secret of Love", but I dare not open my mouth.I'm also really useless.Don't dare to mention the word "love", let alone Love.As if it was a dynamite pack, it would explode when touched.However, I couldn't help thinking again and again these two days.Ask yourself again and again: Am I Puppy love? While skating, Li Jiangliu invited me to skate again.I actually put on the skates and followed him to learn how to skate.I always wrestle.He always laughs at me.The class monitor and the boys even laughed at me as a big Siberian bear.I'm wearing too much.Li Jiangliu only wore a turtleneck sweater, which looked very chic, and a nylon skating cap, which was very energetic.His skating is the envy of many people.How great it would be to learn to skate!I also want to learn to skate.The strange thing is that Chen Guodong didn't come last time, but he also came to skate this time. He watched Li Jiangliu and I learn to skate, and felt very strange.Although I always stumbled, I still saw Chen Guodong's expression out of the corner of my eye. Part V, Section 55: For the first time in my life, I have insomnia February 15, 1980 It's funny when I think of how I relied on Li Jiangliu when I was skating yesterday.I really wish we could be good friends.I realize now that one cannot live without friends.A person without friends has a desolate desert in his heart. February 16, 1980 I began to look forward to the Youth League branch activities next week.Next time, I will definitely be able to slide a few steps.Skating is really fun.I always wanted to skate the day before yesterday. I learned from Li Jiangliu. He held my hand. My body was always out of balance, like a wobbly tumbler... I really wanted to go to his house to find him.I dare not.I laughed at myself, it was only halfway through a winter vacation, how did I become like this?I scolded myself and became upset.Can't do anything. I turned to a book called , which was borrowed by Qiumen.I just want to use it to relieve boredom. Whoever wants to read more than ten pages will fall in love with this book.I like the second daughter Elizabeth.She is smart, straightforward, intelligent, and defiant. At the same time, she is innocent and pure.She pursues true love, does not covet property and the comfort of life, and rejects Mr. Ke Sien and the arrogant Darcy.However, when Darcy came out of her arrogance and repented, she fell in love with Darcy so sincerely.I feel that she is very much like me, especially the spirit of rebellion.Can I also pursue true love like her?Ah!I'm not shy, I wrote this love word for the first time in my diary! I read the preface of this book again, the author Austin was only forty-one and a half years old, and she was a woman.very impressive.It would be great if I could write a book like her.I will definitely write about our high school class 5!Unfortunately, I can't.Li Jiang is popular.he can write.How well his poems are written... Ah, I can't help but think of him again. After reading the book, I don't even know what time it is.It was late anyway.Turn off the light, get into the bed, and can't fall asleep.After a while, the windows turned white. For the first time in my life I had insomnia.Simply sit up and write a diary. February 18, 1980 Early this morning, it snowed.There is not much snow this year, and there has been drought.I am so happy to see snow.I like snow because it is white and soft, and what it brings is not cold but refreshing. I wanted to go to Li Jiangliu, but I didn't dare.I want to show him the diary of the past few days, and I also want to see his diary of the past few days, how he remembers me.This is all my wild imagination. Mom found another partner for Qiu Ju.Qiu Ju started tidying up and dressing up again, changing her body inside and out... It's boring.Guaranteed to fail.I figured it out for her. In the past few days, Li Jiangliu has not come, so my father is relieved.He thought his admonition had worked.Who listens to his set.I don't believe what he said.How does he know what I really think! February 20, 1980 I can go skating again tomorrow.Tomorrow, I must learn, at least to slide 50 meters independently. February 21, 1980 It's so fun to skate me down today!The most hateful thing is that one of the front teeth fell off.So annoying, and so funny.I blamed Li Jiangliu, he always shouted: "The less you dare to skate, the more you will fall!" I dared to skate.Unexpectedly, a front tooth fell out in a somersault. This time, they were all frightened.Li Jiangliu carried me to the hospital on his bicycle, and the squad leader and the others ran behind.I really appreciate them.I further realized the importance of friendship. For skating, I paid the price of an incisor.I must tell Li Jiangliu.I wonder if he can understand? February 22, 1980 Today, Li Jiangliu, Qin Jun, and several female classmates all came to see me at home. I really hope that Li Jiangliu can go last.I would like to spend more time with him.However, he still left with everyone.But I'm still happy!If he hadn't lost a front tooth, would he have come to see me?So, do I want to drop another front tooth?God, Bless me never to break a front tooth again.Then how ugly I should be! When they came, I didn't dare to talk much.Talking out of breath, air leakage.What a pity! Dad told me: "Look! Disobedient. Disobedient, it's a good thing you didn't break your leg!" I lost my tooth, because I was cowardly, because I can't skate, what kind of relationship does this have to do with being obedient or disobedient?If it weren't for the difficulty of speaking, I really want to say something to my father! Part V, Section 56: Lost a front tooth in vain! February 23, 1980 How I wish my classmates would come to see me like yesterday.Today, no one came.It's boring!I turned on Qiumen's tape recorder, there was a tape in it, and a lingering singing sound was played—— Why am I in a bad mood? This feeling is indescribable. Every girl captivates me, every girl turns me on I turned on the tape recorder and took out the tape, only to realize that it was an episode from the opera "The Marriage of Figaro".On the other side, on the tape recorder is the countess singing—— Where to find that wonderful time, Happy love is stirring in the heart. Where is eachother, Where is the sweet talk... This is Qiuming's favorite song.Somehow, I love to hear it too.Moreover, from the bottom of my heart, I understand why Qiuming loves to sing this song.Tyumen, I really sympathize with Tyumen!If there is a young man who falls in love with me and is worthy of my love, such as Li Jiangliu, I will never be as weak as Qiuming, I will boldly pursue it! Oh, I'm writing about love here.In the eyes of teachers and parents, I am still a little girl with yellow hair.They don't know that next year I will be eighteen! February 24, 1980 No more skating.Today is back to school day, and school will start in two days.I broke a front tooth while skating, and it became a big news. The whole class knew about it, and wanted to see my tooth.As if my teeth are so strange!I always keep my mouth shut and dare not open my mouth to speak. The back-to-school day is the most boring. Teacher Zhong didn't come. I heard that Teacher Rong is coming to class and will be our head teacher.If she does come, we're out of luck.Her overcast and cloudy face is enough for everyone. I'm also annoying enough, as soon as I arrived at school today, I seemed restless, my eyes always seemed not enough, and I was looking everywhere.who?Li Jiangliu.Moreover, when I saw Li Jiangliu talking to the girl next to me, I was so jealous.What kind of emotion is this!The more I wish he could see me, he just doesn't look my way.I kind of hate him.Lost a front tooth in vain! Until later, he came to me and gave me a new poem he wrote. My anger is gone.How disgusting I am!I want to cherish this feeling.Don't fall into the mundane world.I didn't dare to open the poem and read it in the classroom. On the way home, I opened it and read it in a hurry.When I got home, I sat down at the table and read it again.The title is "A Poem to the Wind".two - (one) How should I draw you, wind? Is to paint your summer time—— shaded; It's when I paint you in winter—— melting snow; It's when you're happy—— a rose; Is to draw when you are angry - one a dark cloud; When you sing,— The trees are full of birds singing; When you dance,— catkins flying all over the sky; How should I draw you, wind... (two) I know you will love-- When you blow away the water lilies, When you blow red apples, When you wake the bird, When you blow the ice and snow... I know you'll have lovers— When you carry the fresh green, When you sweep the dust, When you get splashed with water, When you fly back to Baiyun... I know you're going to have kids— When you blow the seeds down, When you blow down the drizzle, When you blow down meteors, When you blow my tears down... I know, you will stay away from me—— in the sweltering night, in the rainy evening, In the snowy field, On a sunny morning... I'm confused.I really don't understand what these two poems mean?These two poems are hardly written by the same Li Jiangliu as the "Eighteen-Year-Old Capriccio".Why did he write this poem?And why did he send me these two poems? Part five, verse 57: She suddenly became disgusted with her mother After school started, Teacher Rong Guitang really came back to school, and continued to serve as the head teacher of Class 5, Grade 2.She gave birth to a little girl who was said to be prettier than her. According to regulations, the mother of an only child can take half a year off after her maternity leave to take care of her little one at home.However, just halfway through the winter vacation, she found a nursery for her child and decided to go to work after school started. When the baby was first born, she couldn't tell how happy she was.She has been married for many years and has no children. For this, she shed tears a lot.Now, seeing the baby crying, raising her little hands in the air to scratch something, holding her nipple with her mouth open, and sucking milk, she felt a kind of happiness that she had never experienced before.She feels that only a woman who is a mother is a real woman. The child is getting older, the winter vacation is coming to an end, and my husband is busy with preparations for the new semester.Her heart is restless.At this time in the past, she would prepare lessons with her husband, go to the library to look for reference books together, or she would go to the school alone to hold a student cadre meeting, and visit the students' homes... These things that usually make her headaches and even get angry are the same. He approached her like this, looking very friendly.Her heart is still thinking about the school and the students.Without these, her heart was empty, and the joy brought to her by her little daughter could not fill it up. At the same time, she also thought that she is a model head teacher, and she should always take the lead as an example.The problem of puppy love in class 5 of the second year of high school is so serious, and I need to go to work by myself, how can I be like an old hen in a nest, relaxing at home with my little daughter in my arms? How does this look like a model head teacher? "Old Lu, I want to go to work." She said to her husband. "Okay! I think you can't stay still." Her husband supported her.He had already seen grass growing in her heart.In the past few years, he has also been a model head teacher, so of course he can't hold back his lover.Fever a few times, the doctor issued a sick note, he also has to go to school.In terms of work, the couple keep pace with each other, and neither of them is willing to lag behind. "The next time you are selected as a model class teacher, I have to choose you!" She said to her husband with a smile. "I see that you are so active, and you are only thinking about this role model?" Her husband teased her.She sighed, and said: "Cough! What kind of model is not a model, you bastard!" Zhong Lin was very happy, he didn't want to be this unlucky head teacher.Now I can relax a lot.Don't worry about it anymore.Don't worry about Liang Yanyan, You Xiaohui...and that suffocating condom anymore!Moreover, when Teacher Rong came back, he continued to teach Chinese in Class 5, Grade 2, and he only had one Chinese class left.He was very happy. If it wasn't for fate, perhaps, in this middle school, Zhong Lin would have been idle in this way, and Principal Fang could only shake his head regretfully: "Oh! It's a good piece of material, but it's wasted if it's not used well!" I will say to myself: "I am not a good teacher. Teachers are not suitable for me!" However, on the road of life, some opportunities often come suddenly, which will suddenly change the direction of life. ... At the end of the year, by mistake, Zhong Lin once again served as the head teacher of Class 5, Grade 2. After Teacher Rong came back to work in Class 5, Grade 2, the first thing she did was to make friends with boys from other schools. During the winter vacation, within a few days of arriving in Xining, Zhang Wei secretly bought a train ticket and ran back to Beijing.She was not as interested as Zhang Li. She went to see Kumbum Monastery, Riyue Mountain, Qinghai Lake, and explore the source of the Yangtze River.When she came here, she understood that her mother didn't want her to wander around and broaden her horizons.no!Instead, it was to pull her back into the narrow world. Somehow, she didn't feel close to her mother.Mom asked her: "How is that person? How far have you grown? How much do you know about that person? You are too young! That person refers to tension. Only then did Zhang Wei realize that this was the result of her grandma's complaint.This time I came to Xining, it was purely my mother's plan to divert the tiger away from the mountain.For some reason, she suddenly felt disgusted with her mother.She couldn't bear that kind of interrogation-style questioning.It seemed that what she came into contact with was not Zhang Li, a living person, but a bag of poison that she had swallowed, and she had to be forced to spit it out.Why?Just because he is a male classmate.What if it is a female classmate?She was relieved.Why didn't she suspect that we might be gay too?Mother!She doesn't know me very well.In a fit of anger, Zhang Wei answered her mother's series of questions about "that person", so angry that her mother almost slapped her— "That person is not very good. He is a gangster or a thief. He robbed the bank! How far have we developed? We are going to get married tomorrow..." When talking, it's either a monkey eating twists and twisting, or a stretched rubber band that will collapse. "Are you angry at me?" Mom was sad, "Your father went over the Tanggula Mountains and couldn't come back for a while, you know how much he misses you..." As soon as her mother said this, Zhang Wei felt uncomfortable, and felt that she shouldn't talk to her mother like that.They are just a baby girl like me.They love me. However, my mother said: "You, you are really not a fuel-efficient lamp! When your father and I were in middle school, how could you make adults worry so much like you! At that time, I would blush when I saw male classmates, but you are better... ..." Zhang Wei didn't like to hear it anymore.She wanted to retort immediately: "I always talk about how you were at that time! The world is developing, so it's not too metaphysical to use your method?" But she swallowed the words again.