Chapter 27 postscript summer travel

travel this summer I don't like traveling and I hate explorers.It's not me, it's Levi Strauss.I always thought I liked traveling as much as I thought I liked drinking coffee.Until one day Ma Xiaochun said in nine paragraphs, I finally came to buy you coffee, but you only drank cappuccino!I just realized that I was actually pretending to be a little bourgeois, and I didn't know that I was pretending.When we are young, we like to put a lot of mental scenery on ourselves.Some women pretend to be promiscuous, but when they really ask her, they gossip about him.My usual trick is to pretend that I am an idealist who loves music, until one day, I find that I am just in love with a strong man.The reason for his silence may be that he really has little knowledge, and his kindness is not enough for him to see my excellence.But without his love, I will always be just an ordinary woman with insatiable desires.

After the manuscript was completed, I was a little bit at a loss as to what to do.I just wanted to get it over with quickly, and I seemed a little annoyed and overwhelmed. In July I decided to take a trip to New York as I had never been that far before.I said to the visa officer: I am a rock singer, and I want to go to New York to see the band show. Then the visa was approved.With a set of Dream of Red Mansions, a Bible, and several pieces of Bra, it rose into the sky and landed on the east bank.I met Van Gogh and the masters whom I had longed for in my youth, but found that I had no desire to communicate.I saw a Mexican woman singing at the Summer Stage, wearing a gaudy floral dress, her voice hoarse and charming.She sang so touchingly, laughed so cheerfully, and writhed all over.I have never seen the world, so I superficially think that New York is generous.It's so rich and there are so many colorful candies in the store.I can't eat it all in my life, but I only bought a lollipop, which is the one that Zhou Xingchi held in "Kung Fu".

I learned to run away from home when I was 15, and went to Dunhuang in the west when I was 19, in order to complete a long poem. At the age of 20, I went to the beach on the east coast alone, in order to be able to complete a folk song.I swore that night that I would never want to travel alone again, no matter how chic and meaningful it seemed, because I was ashamed of being alone.I never mention that word, lest others see that I am actually a restless woman. But every time I travel, I am alone.Every time it is too late, there is a lover or companion.And every time, I can't describe my journey, I can't learn a lot, and I don't know anything about the local history, culture, and scenery.I can't appreciate the subtlety of travel.Because the skin is tense, and due to the strong sense of strangeness, most of the ability to feel is lost.What I know is that all the scenery is like flowing clouds and flowing water in front of my eyes, but I can't leave traces in my heart.I have a camera, new, and I use it to photograph clouds in the sky, at 30,000 feet. (Besides, I also took pictures of a fat woman's ass in Central Park watching Patti Smith's performance) They have no regional color or physical style, and I can't remember the past or have emotional associations, which makes me Ashamed of traveling alone.

On one occasion, the plane landed at night.New York is clearly visible now.The whole city is brightly lit.Like a huge, resplendent, grotesque dream.How many people live in such a huge and alluring dream like this. What courage and what loneliness I must endure to be able to stay. But where is it not lonely?The world is united, the world is one, which place can be special? There is not a day that is not absurd, and there is no day that is worthwhile.Here, there, living this way, living that way, it's all okay. I even flew to Phoenix, Shen Congwen's Phoenix.I completely believe in earth atmosphere, feng shui, water and soil, and such a small place, so mundane and dilapidated, with a ridiculous modernity, fully worthy of Shen's arrogance and talent.

At the dinner table, there were people who I didn't know, and I didn't say a word.I know I'll be flying back soon to wrap up my summer travels. What I call writing is the same as my travelling.In fact, I have never traveled far, but I only stay in place, looking around.Stay safe and have no delusions. October 4, 2005